


Finding Survivors

by Pandoras_loss



Series: Changing Fate series [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Sex, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-15
Updated: 2016-12-20
Packaged: 2018-09-08 18:40:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 57
Words: 217,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8856556
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pandoras_loss/pseuds/Pandoras_loss
Summary: Third in the Changing Fate Series.  Alternate Universe of the year between the end of season 5 and the start of season 6.The war has begun, and the first strike is the release of the Croatoan virus.  Dean and Beth scramble to save as many people as they can.  The world gets turned upside down as hunters and their way of life become the norm so humanity can survive.  Are monsters, angels, and demons really the most dangerous thing out there anymore, or are humans just as bad these days?  And as more of Beth's memories from her time in Heaven return, will she and Dean be able to stop the Big Bads who are waging the war from destroying everything on their missions to take God's power?  What will happen when Sam and Dean see each other again?  With everything that has changed, Fate still finds small ways to shine through, but everything about it is off.





	1. And So It Begins

**Author's Note:**

> It is strongly advised that people read This Is Your Choice (Part 1), and Regrets Lead Nowhere Good (Part 2) first.
> 
> I do not own the rights or credit for creating Supernatural or the characters from the show, including: Sam and Dean Winchester, Castiel, Bobby Singer, Chuck, Adam Milligan, Rufus Turner, Michael, Jody Mills, Ben Braeden, or Pamela Barnes, to name a few.
> 
> Original characters created by me: Rachel McCoy, Elsbeth (Beth) Foley, Stephen Riley, Ivan and Yuri, and many of the survivors.
> 
> Chapters are written in the the first person when the point of view comes from Beth, and alternating chapters are written in the third person when the point of view comes from another character that is the focus. Typically, the focus of the third person chapters is mentioned in the first or second sentence.
> 
> There is bad language and graphic violence in this. There is also sex.

A demon struck Dean, and he landed on his hands and knees. He had to kill these things, so he could get out of here and find Beth before that virus hit. Her angel blade should be just inside the – Dean looked to his right as he heard the ping of metal and saw his demon-killing knife. Looking up, he saw that Sam’s the one who dropped it. He didn’t have time to think about what that meant. Dean picked it up and blocked the kick of the nearest demon to him before plunging the knife into it’s stomach, and then he got to his feet and killed the other demon Crowley had left behind even faster.

Standing there breathless, Dean couldn’t think as he put his knife back in its sheath. His ability to have a coherent thought was replaced with the memory of Beth breaking down in a way he’d never seen her do just before the demons disappeared with her, and it sparked in him a pure blind rage. 

“Look, Dean. We talked about this. It’ll work out in the long run -” Dean spun around and sucker punched Sam before tackling him to the ground, so he could deliver more blows. He didn’t even stop hitting Sam when his brother started to go limp. The only thing that stopped him was when Adam and Bobby ran out to pull him off, and even then they had to hold him back as he tried to go at Sam again. 

“You’re a monster, Sam!” Bobby got in front of Dean and grabbed his attention. It made him have to calm himself down, so he didn’t clock Bobby too. He looked around Bobby, and watched Sam struggling to roll over. “I’m gonna find her, and we’re gonna save everyone we can . . . and then I’m coming for you. You’re gonna have to live with everything you’ve done. There’s no way in Hell, I’m letting you take this all the way.” Having said everything he needed to say to Sam, he shook off Bobby, went into the house to try and put some sort of a plan together, and ended up in the kitchen. 

They had a potential full-blown pandemic of the Croatoan virus on their hands. If that truck with the vaccine left for St. Louis a few days ago, then there was nothing he could do to stop it now. The outbreak was probably already starting and just waiting for the news to pick it up. He had to find Beth before it spread. He could warn the people they knew about the virus. Give them somewhere safe to go.

He felt Bobby come up behind him and turned around. “Bobby, I don’t want to hear it. He traded Beth to Crowley, like a fucking baseball card for that tablet and kid, and he let a truck of the Croatoan vaccines out when you all went to take down Nivius. It’s headed for St. Louis if it’s not there already. There is no way to stop it now.” Even Bobby was at a loss for words. “You need to call as many people as you can and tell them to take cover. Call Jody, Pamela, Ivan, and Yuri. Beth would want them to know . . . and any hunters you can think of. They’re gonna have to save as many people as they can and wait it out until we set up a base somewhere.” 

Dean ignored Sam, who was now laying on the couch, and reached back to grab his keys off the table. Bobby wanted to know where he was going. “I’m gonna find Beth. I need to get her away from Crowley and then I’m taking her someplace safe.” 

Bobby started heading for the stairs and said, "I’ll call people on the road, and swing by to pick up the ones in town and maybe a few others before I meet up with you. Just let me know where to go."

Adam brushed past Bobby on his way down the stairs with his things already packed. “I’m going with you.”

Dean paused at the door and turned towards the kid Sam bought . . . fucking bought. “You comin’? Things are about to get bad out there. I’m not forcing you. You’re free to do whatever you want, but you’re window on that’s closin’, because I’m not waitin’ around.” The kid was too frightened to move, so Dean kept walking and waited for Adam in the car. If Adam wanted to come, he needed to hurry up. A minute later, Adam walked out with a fat lip and a bloody nose. 

“The kid do that to you?” Dean asked as he backed out of the lot.

Adam grabbed the last cold pack from Beth's first aid kit, cracked it to make it freeze, and then held it up to his face. “No. Sam said the kid was staying with him. Something about him being the only one who could read the tablet, and that was why he’d done all this anyway.” Dean guessed he was probably right to leave Sam behind if Sam still hadn’t learned his lesson. His brother could take care of himself, and the amount of betrayal Dean felt meant any trust he’d wanted to give Sam wasn’t going to be offered again. Fuck, Sam had even gone ahead and killed Brady instead of doing the job first. If Sam couldn’t even be trusted to do that, then there was no getting it back.

Dean kept trying to find Beth using his Beth tracker, but the thought of St. Louis was sidetracking him. What the fuck good was this connection if it didn’t work when it was needed the most? He looked down at his key ring. When she gave the key to him, she believed he’d find her and return it if something like this happened. She needed him, and he was failing her. At a crossroads, he picked a direction, and just started heading south. Stopping wasn’t an option even if he didn’t know which direction she was. He had to stay on the move until he figured this out if he wanted to stay sane enough to find her. 

An hour later, Dean was at his wit’s end and startled Adam when he punched his steering wheel and yelled, “Come on, Winchester get it together!” before pulling over to think it through. He couldn’t just keep driving. He could be heading the wrong way . . . And then it came to him. It was so simple. “Sonofabitch! I know where she is.” He flicked on the radio to listen for breaking news reports as he pulled back out onto the highway. He had no idea what he was heading into otherwise. If they got to St. Louis early enough, maybe it’d be before things got too bad, and he could help contain it. Yeah. He could get Beth and stop the outbreak if he hurried.

Halfway there, the first news reports of riots in some of the suburbs around St. Louis began to trickle into the broadcast. By the time Dean and Adam were just outside the city, the riots had spread to the center of town. He concentrated his efforts on finding Beth. He was too late to stop the rest, but he could find her. His need to find her intensified as he felt more aches and pains around his body the closer they got. They may not have started in on the serious torture yet, but they were beating her and had been since she disappeared. It was only getting worse. He gripped the steering wheel tighter as another flash of pain went through his head. _They’re all dead. I’m killing every last one of them._

He pushed through the crowds with his car when he got into the city. Not everyone had turned yet. Most of them were just frightened people, but there were those in the crowd who would be infecting the rest soon. By the time he got Beth and was ready to leave, he knew nearly all of them would be Croats with as close as they were packed together, and there was no way to tell them apart right now.

They ended up at the gates of the Missouri Botanical Garden. Figures that Crowley would pull a Nero and fiddle away from a place with an emperor’s view while the city burned down around him. This was a small demon operation . . . no guards at the gate or patrols. Seemed like the place was just a stop over Crowley was using to keep Sam from finding Beth during the chaos of th initial outbreak. Crowley would only keep her here for a short time before word got out, because Sam had to have demons working for him too . . . Sam was probably chugging demon blood at the minute. Crowley wouldn’t want any part of that, so Crowley’s best bet was to stay here for a couple more hours at most. Then he’d take Beth somewhere else . . . maybe somewhere not even in this country. 

Dean backed the Impala up and apologized to his baby before revving her up and letting her go. She lurched forward, and he pushed the pedal to the metal, making her crash right through the gates. She could take it, and he’d make it up to her, but he didn’t have time to hop the gates, and he didn’t want to leave her and Adam outside on their own for anyone or anything to see. 

He kept the accelerator down and flew over the grass and flowers and barreled through a maze. Cranking the steering wheel to the left in a hard turn, he made them spin to a complete stop without crashing out the other side of the maze. His car and Adam needed to stay hidden, and here was as good a place as any. There was the outer maze wall, and then on the other side of that was a tree line that separated the maze from the old Victorian house at the heart of Crowley’s sanctuary. 

Dean waited a couple of minutes see what Crowley’s demons did in response to his forced entry . . . Nothing. The operation was as small as it’d looked outside the gates if no demons noticed him hauling ass around the grounds. _King of Hell? Not yet. Maybe not without what Beth knows. Most demons are probably waiting to see what happens with Sam. He could become the King of Hell._ That would make Crowley more motivated to find out where those tablets were using any means necessary, and Beth had no idea where they were right now, not that she’d tell Crowley if she did. “Adam, I need you to keep the car running and defend it. We can’t afford for any Croats or humans to get her. She’s our only way out of here.” Adam gave him a curt nod without questioning the order and started checking his guns and ammo. Adam could do this. He’d come a long way.

Dean went to the back and grabbed all the things he’d need: demon-killing knife, salt shell bandoleer, sawn off already loaded, and the modified tranq gun Beth had made for vampires. He’d made tranq darts to go with it that held holy water for demons. He wished he had the Colt, but if Bobby didn’t bring it with him, Sam had that now. Shaking off the painful fatigue in his legs he knew was coming from Beth, he did a quick scope of the place and decided a window on the second floor at the back would be his best bet. It wasn’t easy to get to for a human, so he knew they wouldn’t expect anything to come through it. They shouldn’t even be expecting him here at all. 

He stepped back a few paces and sprinted towards the tree nearest him. It was in a row of trees parallel to the building and the second one from the windowsill he needed. He used it to parkour jump to a higher position on the tree next to the target window and from that tree up to the bottom of the windowsill ledge. From there, Dean quickly pulled himself up to his elbows and smashed the window with the butt of his sawn off. After waiting for half a minute to see if anything came to check out the sound of breaking glass, he wiped away the shards from the frame so he could climb through. Once inside, he settled into a low crouch ready for anything that may have been inside waiting for him to get through. When nothing came, he moved forward stealthily and found the nearest staircase. _She’s in the basement. Take out anything between here and there, and it’ll be a hell of a lot easier to get her back out._

Reaching the bottom of the first flight of stairs he waited before rounding the corner and grabbed the handle of his Kurdish demon-killing knife as he heard someone’s footsteps coming up the other side of the wall. As the figure moved around the corner, Dean grabbed the demon and thrust the knife up into its chest. Before it stopped flickering, the dead guy’s sidekick tried to jump him from behind. Dean caught the demon’s arm as it came down in front of him, held onto the arm as he ducked behind the demon, and threw it into the wall in front of them before driving the knife home through it’s back. Dean checked around the corner to make sure there nothing else was coming and saw that they were alone, so he moved the bodies into an empty room next to him and continued moving down the stairs. 

Nearing the front entrance, he saw two more demons standing guard across the hall from one another with their backs to him. He grabbed the nearest one from behind and plunged the knife down into its chest before withdrawing the blade and throwing it into the heart of the other demon that had turned at the sound of the altercation. He quickly retrieved the knife from the second demon and as with the previous 2 demons, dragged the bodies into a nearby office before moving on down the hall. There was no way of telling how many were on patrol inside the house that would alert Crowley to his presence if the dead ones were discovered before he could get to Beth. He needed a few more minutes before he announced that he was here. 

At the end of the hall there was a door with an exit sign above it, so it had to lead to another set of stairs. He paused briefly outside the door to listen for any small sound and didn’t hear anything, but that didn’t mean there wasn’t something on the other side standing guard, so he took a step back and kicked the door in hard to knock it into anything that might be there. The door hit something solid, and Dean rushed through so as not to allow whatever it was a chance to recover. The demon was standing there clutching its nose, and Dean used the distraction to kick it into the wall behind it before taking it out deftly with the knife like he had the rest. He felt like time was running out, so he didn’t bother hiding this body. 

He was nearly down the bottom set of stairs when a demon started making its way up. The demon paused to looked up at him in surprise, and Dean used it’s inaction to grab onto the railings on either side of him, bring both his legs up, and kick it square in the chest. It tumbled down the stairs and landed exposed on the floor as Dean pounced on it for the kill, and then another demon came at him from the right before he’d had a chance to stand, so Dean shouldered under it, and used its momentum to flip it over onto its back. Didn’t take long to finish that one off either. Crowley must’ve been scraping the bottom of the barrel to find these demons. There weren’t anymore demons in this corridor, and there were no more in the final set of stairs leading down. 

The final hall looked empty, but there could be demons in any of the rooms on either side of it. He’d deal with them if and when he saw any, but he wasn’t gonna check them. The room he needed was at the end of the hall. “Stupid, fucking, demon dickheads. Let’s try this one more time, I told you I can’t give you the answers, because I don’t know them, and even if I did, I wouldn’t fucking tell you, and I don’t know how to get in touch with God. Have you tried praying recently?” She hadn’t given up yet, but her yelling like that meant she was feeling vulnerable and nervous about her options, so he had to hurry. When he got to the door, he heard flesh hit flesh and felt pain shoot through the side of his head. Then he heard Crowley.

“That wasn't lady-like was it? I think we’re going to have to extract what’s in there in a much less pleasant way . . . shame really.” 

It was now or never. Dean had his weapons ready and let his body do what it’d been trained to do. Kicking the door open, he blasted two shocked demons along the far wall with the sawn-off slung over his shoulder. Before he had a chance to reload, another 2 tried to rush him from either side, so he dropped the shotgun, grabbed the tranq gun from his waistband and shot the closest one in the chest at point blank range. The demon dropped to the floor and stayed there writhing in pain, allowing Dean to grab his knife from its sheath as he turned to stab the one on his left that had continued to advance on him. 

He reloaded the tranq gun before turning to face the two final demons left standing between he and Beth. One of them was Crowley. “You think you can come in here and take what’s mine!” Dean’s response was to shoot Crowley with the tranq dart and then throw his Kurdish knife into the heart of the other demon. Crowley wasn’t powerful enough for holy water not to have an effect, so he fell to the floor, and Dean calmly walked over to the now dead demon near Crowley and snatched his knife back before moving over to Crowley with it. 

Standing over the downed future king, Dean gave the demon a hard smile that didn’t reach his eyes and loaded another tranq dart. “I didn’t get an invitation. Figured it got lost in the mail with all the Croats out there. Thought I’d come down and check things out. See what I was missing.” Dean heard movement behind him and drew on it with the tranq gun. The sawn off twins were back on their feet. He shot the closest one with a dart, and it hit the ground again. The other one kept coming, but Dean was ready for it, and killed it after a brief altercation. Not wanting the other two he’d tranq’d to get up anytime soon, Dean killed the one he’d just shot, and then went to kill the first one he’d shot by the door, but that one decided it’d had enough and smoked out, leaving Crowley as the only demon in the room. 

Dean loaded a final dart and shot Crowley again, so the demon wouldn’t go anywhere. He had some questions for Crowley about Sam, but making sure Beth was okay was his first priority, so he went to her first. She’d been tied standing to a support beam for who knew how long. Even if she had found a way around the bindings . . . it didn’t look like she would’ve been able to get very far. Dean gently lifted her head to assess the damage, and it was a good thing she couldn’t see his face. She didn’t need to see him pissed off and worried. She needed to know he had this under control. “I don’t know, Beth. This party seems kinda lame. Wanna get outta here.” 

She kept her blackened eyes shut, but gave a faint smile. “Yeah, there’s been this creep hassling me all night. Wouldn’t take no for an answer.” She shook her head and tiredly added, “Don’t want you to get a parking ticket if we stay too long.” 

What she’d meant was she didn’t want him to step across that line and start torturing Crowley. They didn’t have time for that, but it was tempting. He’d just kill Crowley and find Sam on his own. He leaned in to whisper into her ear that he’d make it fast before turning back towards Crowley, and then his eyes took on a cold hard look as he approached the dickhead, but just like with what happened with Death’s scythe, half a second before his knife struck home, Crowley teleported out of there. _Fucking Crowley!_

“What’s wrong? Why does it feel like you're so mad all of a sudden? Did he say something before you killed him?” Dean looked at her again and relaxed somewhat. He thought he’d kept his anger and frustration at Crowley’s sudden departure pretty well hidden considering she couldn’t see. All he'd had to do was keep his mouth shut, and he had. Until he got her somewhere safe, Dean didn't want to upset her by letting her know Crowley was still out there somewhere thinking of ways to find her again. 10 feet away, and she knew what he was feeling? Maybe that was her thing if his was knowing what she was thinking. Just took something like this for him to notice it. He wondered if she knew, or if she thought it was normal. Maybe that's why she got him so well. He’d tell her Crowley got away once he had her out of this basement and out of the city. 

He cut her loose and caught her weight as she fell forward. “You alright to walk?” He didn’t think she could, but he wanted to give her an option on it. 

“Uh, yeah, I’m fine.” She clung onto his arm and gingerly stepping forward. When her legs gave way, she changed it. “I may need a little help if there really are Croats outside.” Yeah, that’s what he wanted to do anyway. He liked taking care of her, but she hardly ever let him.

Dean loaded his sawn off and handed it to her before picking her up. He figured it’d make her feel better to have a weapon on her even if she didn’t need it with him there. He hadn’t thought to bring her blade. He hoped Bobby or Adam did, because she hadn’t had it on her. She wasn’t expecting any of this to happen. She’d thought she was safe at Bobby’s . . . she’d be more upset about losing her blade than being taken in the first place. 

When he got her outside, Adam was on the roof of the car. “You might want to hurry up. I’m pretty sure there are some Croats or sketchy people that have made it through the front gates and are lurking around the the maze!” 

Dean ran with her the rest of the way to the maze, went through the entrance, and had her in the backseat of the car in no time. After he took off, he thought Adam hadn’t been wrong about the Croats in the maze as he plowed through a couple before he’d even gone 30 feet. You could tell what they were already by their eyes. Croats looked normal and not normal at the same time. 

Driving through the city, he took empty side streets whenever he could, but sometimes there was no other way than through big gatherings of people blocking roads, so he floored it those times. There weren't any uninfected people left in the masses now, but in the off chance there were, they’d be better off dead than getting infected with a demon virus that would send them to Hell when it was done with them. He’d fix his car later. He’d done it before after she’d been through worse. He could do it again, but not if he was dead or a Croat.

The further they got from the center of the city, the worse the drivability due to traffic and cars that had been abandoned in the road. At least the people hadn’t set up roadblocks to start demanding working cars yet. He had no doubt that it would happen sooner rather than later. For now, the three of them were safe, but it wouldn’t be long until survival of the fittest set in and they’d have to watch for Croats as well as regular, desperate, unpredictable people.


	2. Killing Lucifer

“ . . . Thanks, Bobby. I’ll let her know you grabbed her things . . . Good. I’m glad he’s gone . . . No, I’m not getting into this with you right now . . . Dean says he’ll find him after things have settled . . . No, he’s busy on the other phone . . . I’ll send you the coordinates . . . All right. See you in a few days and watch getting around the middle of the country. Dean said it’s spreading faster than he thought it would.” Adam finished his call and nodded at Dean to let him know Bobby was on his way.

“ . . . No, Deacon. I’m not kidding. Turn on your TV and look at the news. You need to get onto any close contacts you still have with the higher ups and let them know they need to lockdown St. Louis now . . . Croatoan . . . It’s a blood borne demon virus, but don’t say that, or they won’t listen . . . I don’t know. Tell them it’s a blood borne virus that turns people violently demented in a matter of hours and doesn’t have a cure . . . Tell them military action is the only thing they can use for the quarantine. It’s a public health issue that the CDC cannot handle . . . the best thing they can do is keep their distance and shoot the infected in the head . . . Yeah, I’ll send you the coordinates to a safe house . . . Watch your back and make your way around the center of the country, not through it. Don’t stop for anyone you don’t know and come armed.” 

Dean looked at the gas gauge. They’d have to stop and fill up in about an hour. They’d gotten around the last of the danger an hour ago by cutting away from the interstate and heading down country roads. There was no way of knowing how many people had been infected, left St. Louis with their families before they’d completely turned, and would now turn somewhere else, and spread the virus. He remembered when he and Sam dealt with the Croatoan virus. The infected could still talk and set up roadblocks. They’d almost seemed normal. It wasn’t like that when he saw them in Zachariah’s future. Maybe the longer they were infected, the less human they became. 

He looked in the back seat at Beth, who was curled up into a ball and asleep with her sunglasses on even though it was night. Her eyes were pretty bad, and he hadn’t had a chance to check all of her other injuries yet. Of all the times he needed her to be able to see and move . . . Cas couldn’t come. He and Michael went back to Heaven to find that Raphael and the angels that followed him didn’t want things to go back to the way they were before Lucifer had been sprung. Now they were looking at another Apocalypse, but it’d be between Michael and Raphael if they didn’t do something about it fast. 

“Hey, did you grab Beth’s blade?” 

Adam gave him an annoying smirk. “You didn’t forget it, did you? You think she’ll miss it?” Adam’s grin got bigger when Dean told him he wasn’t in the mood for it and to cut the crap. “Why do you think I’m her favorite hunting partner? Course I didn’t forget her blade. It was the last thing I grabbed before we left. Bobby took all her other stuff and is having Ivan drive her car to the cabin.” _Favorite hunting partner? That’s only because he does whatever she tells him to do._

Adam may have been the one to remember the blade, but Dean still felt the need to put him in his place. “Don’t know about you being her favorite. It’s pretty hard to top having wings, and Cas is the one who gave her the blade in the first place.” His mood improved marginally when Adam called him and ass.

The longer they drove, the more news bulletins there were on the radio. St. Louis was basically gone except for in a few pockets where the cops had set up barricades. That wouldn’t work for long. The cops still thought they were dealing with riots. He was sure that Croats would be infecting other places soon, and with as fast as St. Louis got brought down . . . it was all happening too fast to stop. The only thing they could do was get outta the way and save as many as they could in the process. 

What the fuck happened in the last 12 hours? He and Sam just killed Lucifer. They should be back at Bobby’s celebrating the biggest win of their careers and having a drink in memory of their Dad, not preparing for the end of everything. The drive back from Detroit with Sam had been good. They’d reminisced over stories they had from when they were growing up . . . things only the two of them would understand or get . . . it was kind of in honor of their Dad being gone again. He and Sam had been the way he’d always remembered them being together. 

He’d thought that even if Sam’s plans had been set in motion, they’d clean it up together, and he could get Sam to not take it to the next level, because how bad could the first stages of Sam’s plan be? But if this amount of damage was the first strike . . . now that he’d had time to think about it, he knew the vaccine wasn’t just an accident that happened because Sam was sidetracked by killing Brady or making the deal with Crowley. If that’s all it was, Sam would’ve made up a lie about why he hadn’t gotten to the truck in time . . . Sam could’ve said that it had slipped by him when he had to fight off a demon or a Croat, and they would’ve been able to stop it. Sam had wanted this to happen. 

It was a hell of a first phase, and there was no way he’d be able to get Sam off of this now, because Sam still thought he’d be able to go back in time and reverse all the collateral damage. All those people Sam was damning to Hell with the virus . . . And Sam knew that’s what he was doing. Sam had specifically asked Cas about it when they were on the way to Pestilence, and that’s what Cas had said the virus would do the people it infected. It’s why the towns infected with Croatoan just disappeared. Once it took hold, those humans would belong to the demons . . . Dean felt a deep sense of hopelessness thinking about it. One-minute people were going to be at work or the mall or school, and they’d be perfectly fine, and the next they were going to be infected for no other reason than Sam was being selfish. Now he wondered if the drive back from Detroit was Sam’s way of saying goodbye, because he hadn’t thought that everything could go to Hell as soon as they got back, and Sam obviously knew it would. 

How was it possible to sell another person in one of these demon deals? Thought it all had to be personal choice. Either that didn’t apply to special people, or Crowley had wanted Beth bad enough that he’d been willing to break the rules, but Crowley was a demon, so it was in his nature. How could Sam sell her like that and buy some kid, like they were nothing? _I should’ve brought that kid with me. What the fuck was I thinking leaving him like that? Where’s that kid’s family? Don’t even know his name, or I’d find ‘em and take ‘em where we’re going . . . keep them safe until I can get him back for them._

He knew Cas was too busy to come, but maybe he could get Cas to answer his phone again, and Cas could tell him more about this prophet kid. Even if Cas didn’t know anything about the kid, Michael would if prophets were supposed to have an archangel on their shoulder . . . Wait, if that was true, then how the hell did Crowley get his hands on that kid in the first place? Gabriel was AWOL. Michael was either in a trap when the kid got taken or was in Heaven dealing with Raphael being a pain in the ass. Raphael was probably more focused on Michael than prophets. 

The archangels were off the case as far as prophets were concerned. There was nobody to protect them, and maybe it was open season on them now. Dean didn’t know how many prophets there were. Maybe he could pick them up before Crowley or Sam got their hands on them. What about Chuck? Dean decided to try calling him, and it went straight to voicemail, so he left a message. Chuck probably already knew what was going to happen, but Dean would keep trying to get ahold of him, and when he wasn’t doing that, he’d keep trying Cas to see if he could find out where that prophet kid’s family was.

Why’d Sam do any of this? Lucifer was dead, and any other mistakes Sam had made, they could’ve worked on now. All it would’ve taken was time and real remorse from Sam. It had to be as much about rewriting their history for Sam, as it was trying to erase his mistakes, but it wouldn’t work out the way Sam wanted if Sam succeeded, and Dean had tried to tell him that. The parents they had would be destroyed along with everything else if Sam became God. 

If he’d talked with Sam before going to get Death’s ring, maybe none of this would’ve happened. He’d waited too long. Or had he? If he’d said anything to Sam about it before that, he wasn’t entirely sure Sam would’ve backed down on it after what happened with Jo, and before that, Sam had been looking into the prophecies, but he probably hadn’t had much of a plan in place, so there wouldn’t have been anything to talk Sam out of then. 

Maybe he should’ve told Sam about Adam sooner or maybe he shouldn’t have said Beth could come back on the road with them after Lucifer had Death send zombies to Sioux Falls . . . he should’ve kept her away. He never did get into Sam’s encrypted files . . . he should’ve taken Sam’s computer to someone that could do it without Sam knowing about it, or at the very least, he should’ve paid more attention to the books Sam was reading . . . military strategy . . . he remembered seeing a few books on those, because he’d wondered what the hell Sam would want to know about military strategy that he wouldn’t be able to figure out on his own. If he’d flipped through the books, maybe he would’ve caught on to Sam’s plans sooner. 

Dean was taken out of his thoughts when Adam asked him what happened with Lucifer, because Beth hadn’t known a whole lot about it. Dean had planned on filling her in when he got back, but he hadn’t had the chance, and now he didn’t really feel like talking about his and Sam’s last hunt . . . probably ever. But it would distract him for a while, so he told Adam he’d tell him after he filled up at the gas station they were pulling into. He considered not paying when he was done at the pump, but the infection hadn’t hit here yet. He needed to get ice for Beth, and maybe he could try to warn the people inside what was coming if he paid, so that’s what he did. Nobody in there believed him, but they’d find out soon enough. Maybe what he told them would be enough to help them make it.

He waited a few minutes after pulling away before filling Adam in on Lucifer. The plan for Lucifer worked out better than the one for Michael had. At least neither of them died or had to say ‘yes’ in Detroit. There was a moment when things could have gone very wrong very quickly, but they didn’t. 

When they got to Detroit, the weather reports said that there was an unnatural cold spot in a 5-block radius of one part of the city. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that the Devil was right at the center of it. They parked away from the cold zone so that no demons sentries would recognize his distinctive car and alert Lucifer that they were there. 

The cold zone was fairly demon-lite, which they were expecting, since Lucifer wanted to make it easy for Sam to make it to him. There were more demons out around the perimeter of the zone than there were when you got behind enemy lines, but all of the demons they came across were lackey demons at best, so they had no trouble getting rid of them, because he and Sam had worked together in sync the way they had their whole lives . . . Maybe now wasn’t the best time to be going over this. It was too soon and almost too hard to talk about what should’ve been the pinnacle of their career. 

He glanced over at Adam, his other brother, the one who was still with him and who’d been kept out of the fight by unanimous decision and who was still waiting for him to continue . . . just thinking about Adam being here made him think about Sam and how Sam should be here too. The three of them should be together for something like this . . . They’d all just lost their Dad again too. And what his Dad had told Beth to say to him . . . Dean hadn’t done a good enough job keeping this family together. He didn’t even know where Sam was right now.

All he knew was that Sam wasn’t here, because Sam started the end of the world, and Sam had sold Beth to Crowley knowing what Crowley would do to her, because he thought she'd helped them change so much that she was useless. Apparently, to Sam, the North Star in the prophecies meant she'd help him get what he wanted by trading her for the word of God, which would help Sam on his quest to sit on God's throne . . . Sam had been jealous of her for a long time, and Dean had ignored it and let it slide and might’ve told Sam to back off on it from time to time, but he hadn’t addressed it the way he should have. He didn’t know how to address something like that, but maybe if he’d done a better job of it, then none of this would be happening now or maybe it would, because Sam still wanted that apple pie life they never got growing up. 

Adam was still waiting, so Dean forged ahead with what happened with Lucifer. They found the building they thought Lucifer was in and circled from about 2 blocks out to do surveillance. Sam said Lucifer would be on the top floor, because Lucifer would want to see them coming and would enjoy the symbolism of being on top of the world. The south side of the building felt marginally colder than the other three sides, so they picked a roof 3 blocks south of Lucifer’s tower for their stake out. 

They didn’t have a single demonic visitor the entire time they were there. The dumb ass demons definitely weren’t cut out for Secret Security, and Lucifer didn’t think he needed the detail anyway. They watched through their scopes until night. There was movement in the room at the top but the movement only came from possessed people going in and out, not Lucifer. After dark, Dean ran down and made his way over to the street below the window of the room they thought Lucifer was in and set some charges on cars to go off so he’d have just enough time to get back to his post with Sam when they exploded.

When the bombs went off, there was some commotion as demons on the street shrieked as iron from the cars pierced through them, and the demons in the penthouse moved to the window to see what was going on down below. Lucifer moved behind the demons at the window briefly, but stayed off to the side. The glimpse they got was enough to confirm he was there and that he was expecting his birthday present any moment, but Lucifer wasn’t there long enough or at the right angle for either of them to take the shot. They couldn’t risk missing and letting him know their plan or where they were, and they couldn’t afford to waste any of the halo points. They didn’t have many, and who knew how many they’d need to get the job done. 

They waited a few more hours. The cops had left the scene, but other than that, nothing had happened, and Dean hadn’t known how long the Michael team would be able to contain Michael, so he stood up saying that it was taking too long, and that he’d go draw Lucifer out. Sam said that it had to be him, because Lucifer wouldn’t care if Dean showed up, but if Sam did, Lucifer would probably be so excited at the prospect of getting what he wanted that Sam would be able to angle him into position, so Dean could take the shot.

Dean flat out refused that idea. They’d find another way or another time or place, but he wasn’t going to let Sam just walk right up to Lucifer and hand the bastard exactly what he wanted. What if the bullets didn’t work or something else they weren’t anticipating happened? He’d be too far away to help Sam, and he couldn’t see every angle of that room, so what if something happened to Sam in one of those blind spots? 

Sam was stubborn as usual. He wouldn’t take no for an answer, and said that Dean had to . . . had to trust him again. He said he trusted Dean and knew Dean wouldn’t let anything happen to him. Sam said it was why Dean was there and not anyone else . . . meaning that they’d sacrificed their Dad for Dean to be there, but neither of them came right out and said that’s what he’d meant. Playing up to Dean’s sense of guilt and mixing it with wanting to build up their trust again was definitely one way to motivate Dean begrudgingly into agreement, but not before Dean told him that he was only giving Sam 15 minutes to get in and get Lucifer in position or he was coming in after him. That meant there wouldn’t be much time for chit-chat with Luci and less time for the angel to take Sam by force. 

10 minutes later, Dean saw Sam pushed into the penthouse by two demons but kept his cool and waited for the real threat in that room. Sam said something to Lucifer who was still out of sight, shook his head and kept talking. Later in the car on their was back to Bobby’s, Sam filled Dean in on what he’d said to Lucifer, which was basically that he’d come alone and ditched Dean at a rest stop just outside of Chicago, because he wanted to get everything done and over with once and for all. He’d explained that he’d set the explosions, because he’d been testing to see what kind of security he’d have to fight his way through and had been appreciative that there wasn’t much there in the way of demon response. Dean hadn’t realized it at the time, because he was watching all of this from 3 blocks away, but Sam would have been taken in the next couple of seconds if it hadn’t been for Lucifer moving to the window to gaze out of it with smirk that said he’d won, because Sam had said ‘yes’. 

It gave Dean the shot he needed, and he took it. The bullet hit Lucifer in the right eye. As Lucifer staggered backwards a couple of steps, looking . . . you could say he was alive but not well . . . Dean pulled back on the bolt of his rifle and realigned the next shot for Lucifer’s heart. The second shot dropped him. Dean had stayed glued to the spot to wait for confirmation of the kill from Sam, but Sam didn’t need to give it. Sam pushed past the demons standing at the doorway and disappeared out of sight a few seconds before a tsunami of light came flooding out of the top floor of the building. When the light died down, Dean packed up his and Sam’s things and ran down the fire escape to meet up with Sam so they could fight their way back to the car together if that’s what they had to do. Without their leader, it didn’t seem that many of the demons wanted to stick around, so it was a fairly easy sprint back the Impala. When they were on the road and leaving the city limits, Dean called Beth to let her know they’d actually killed the Devil.


	3. Finding A Place To Call Home

We stopped just outside of Madison on our way to the cabin, because Dean thought it was far enough away from St. Louis for us to grab the last diner food we’d ever have and to finally have a chance to check out Crowley’s handiwork on me in the daylight. I was laid out the back seat of the car and felt exposed, because I couldn’t see anything. Dean wasn’t doing the exam, because he had to watch our backs in case anyone or anything saw us. Or that’s what he said. I thought maybe he didn’t want to be the one to hurt me by doing the exam.

_How long are we going to do this?_ I looked somewhere in Dean’s general direction and tried to get him to make Adam leave me alone again. “Seriously, I’m fine.” Adam poked another extremely tender place on my torso, and I forced myself to ignore the pain, so they wouldn’t see it. “Seriously, I’m all good.” _Back the hell off!_

“You’re such a liar, Beth. I can feel what you do, so you’re whole ‘nothing hurts me, I’m fine act,’ doesn’t fly with me.” _I thought he only felt it the moment I got hurt for no more than 30 seconds or so . . . when did he start feeling the after effects?_

“If it’s so bad, then why don’t you tell him to stop?” I immediately had to suck in more air as Adam caught me off guard and prodded at me again. Dean ignored me and asked Adam what he thought. 

“On the plus side, most of it is just bad bruising, but I think she has some cracked ribs, and I think they did something to her liver. I can’t say for sure how bad it is. We don’t have time to take her to a hospital for scans, and I obviously can’t look at her eyes to see if the whites are yellow, so I don’t know. She might be okay in a week or two, or she might not.” _Turncoat._ With answers like that, I needed to step in on my own diagnosis even though I had no idea what was going on, because the last thing Dean needed was to hear something like that. 

“If my liver were ruptured, I would have gone into shock by now. I haven’t, so it’s probably nothing more than a bruise. I don’t feel nauseous or anything worse than tenderness, so I say we go get some food, because I don’t know when the last time I ate was.” 

Dean grumbled about how I should be taking this more seriously, because it looked bad, and then went back to talking to Adam. “What about her eyes? Skull fracture or just two black eyes?” 

I cut off Adam’s response. “Why why are you asking him all of this? You know what to look for with all these things. You’ve been doing it a lot longer than he has. You know I’m okay, but you want a second opinion . . . that and I think you want me to get pissed off at him instead of you for the examination, and I can tell you now that if that was the plan it isn’t working.” I wasn’t sure if it was the pain I was in or the incessant poking and prodding or the fact that I couldn’t see in the middle of a Croatoan outbreak going or if it was finally sinking in what’d happened to me, but I was feeling surly.

I heard Dean sigh and send Adam to see if he could find a TV in the diner before he got in the car to help me sit up. He stopped me from getting out and moved to pick me up, but I wouldn’t let him. “I thought this was all part of the job, so it’s no big deal, and we weren’t supposed to get upset everytime something like this happens.” 

He must’ve crouched down in front of me then, because the next time I heard him it was from a bit lower than my height. “Yeah, but this wasn’t exactly a job, was it? I’m startin’ to think you were right. You’re safer on a hunt. This sort of thing keeps happening when you’re nowhere near a case.” _Yeah, humans suck. No wonder Lucifer got pissed off at having to serve us. We’re gormless, selfish, ‘fuck everyone else in the world as long as we get what we want,’ assholes._

I wouldn’t say that out loud, especially not to the man in front of me when it was his brother that had done all of this. He was taking that hard enough without me saying it . . . but then he could probably tell what I was thinking. It was probably why he’d said that in the first place, because he was trying to let me know that he got why I was angry, which made me feel worse about being such a bitch even if it was in my own head . . . Well, that, and I also knew that I couldn’t blame this all on Sam, because if I didn’t have the knowledge that leads to God’s power in my fucking head, then none of this would be happening. And that meant I was an asshole too, because I used it to get down here.

I bowed my head. “I’m sorry, Dean. I’m angry, but not at you. You actually have no idea what it meant to me when I heard you kick in those doors. I knew you were coming my way not long after I got there, but then Crowley was talking about the Croats being outside, and I didn’t want you to be caught up in that. Then I lost track of you, because I had to concentrate on keeping my wits about me. I was alone with them, and I didn’t see any way out. He started taunting me with these torture devices he was planning on putting into my brain to get what he wanted from me. They would’ve let him push the right buttons and force me to tell him even if I don’t know the answers on a conscious level. And what if they'd turned me into a vegetable when he was done? I wouldn't have been able to stop him from using what I told him. I couldn’t get untied, and even if I had, I didn’t have anything to kill them with, but then it got worse when I couldn’t see, and I couldn’t feel my legs anymore –“ 

I was getting worked up, so Dean pushed me over in the car, so he could sit next to me and pull me in for a hug. I turned my head to the side and rested it against his chest before I took a deep breath. “He would’ve gotten everything and then everything would’ve been lost, and then I heard the doors fly open and the shotgun blasts, and I knew it was you, and I knew it would be okay, because I knew you wouldn’t let them take the information on the tablets from me, and I’m sorry I’ve been in a bad mood since I woke up. And I’m sorry these things keep happening, and they keep happening, because it is always one thing after another with me. Protect what I know about the future or the prophecies or the tablets or my history.” 

He rested his head on top of mine and said, “I spent most of my life on a hunt for the Yellow-eyed demon and then it was Hell and then the Apocalypse. This is just more of the same, and I’m in this with you. I’ve wanted in on it since we met, and I’m not goin’ anywhere.” 

I tightened my hold on him. “Yeah, well, I’m still sorry I ever took those tablets to God and used them as an excuse to get down here or went looking for the werewolf tablet . . . That’s the only reason any of this is happening. I set this in motion . . . and with me like this, I can’t do anything to help stop it when now is the time we have the best chance of doing that before it gets completely out of control.”

Dean took a shaky breath and didn’t say anything at first. “Beth, we can’t stop it. It’s already too far gone.” I’d heard a few of the news reports, since I woke up, but I still thought we had to do something. We couldn’t just give up. Dean answered what I hadn’t said. “We’re not giving up. We’ll save anyone we can, but we can’t do that if we get turned. We have to get to the cabin and set up a base we can defend, or the people we save won’t have anywhere to go.” 

I didn’t know what else to say, so I kept quiet. I hated feeling like I was useless at a time like this, so if my body couldn’t do anything, then I could still use my brain and start planning for what we had to do next. I had to clean up the mess I started. “If you hadn’t been up there in the first place, then you wouldn’t have found anything about the tablets, so those angels set things in motion when they took you up there.” 

_Still doesn’t change the choices I made that led up to this._

“If they found out you knew any of this stuff while you were up there, they would’ve had an eternity to get it out of you, and you couldn’t have held out forever.” 

_I could’ve tried._

“Well, it wouldn’t have worked. I think you getting out of Heaven when you did is the only thing that’s going to give us a chance to fight this at all . . . may not have been the Croatoan virus that would’ve taken us out, but if the angels that had you got all 10 tablets without us knowing they existed, we would’ve been here one second and gone the next.” 

_I can try to look at it that way . . . Ready to admit you can read my mind yet?_

“Not yet.” I laughed and then stayed where I was for another minute or two, because just being alone with him made me feel better, but I couldn't stay like that forever, so I sat up. I was ready for us to go into the diner and get the ball rolling on this saving humanity thing, but Dean didn’t move from his spot. “Besides, you wouldn’t have met me if you hadn’t come down here.” 

I smiled briefly in his direction. "Not true. I don’t think there was ever anything that would’ve kept me from meeting you. Down here or up there. It’s just the timing would’ve been off, and you would’ve been dead.” 

He followed it up with, “and in Hell, so we still wouldn’t have met,” before hopping back out of the car to wait for me to follow him. 

"Running around Heaven hasn't changed your perspective on that?"

"Nope. Best chance Zachariah had of pinning me down. Guessing all orders on things like that went through him." I'd change his mind on that one of these days. Hopefully, he didn't have to find out the hard way anytime soon.

I steadied myself on my feet for the first time since Dean cut me free last night, and he decided he wanted to carry me again. _I wanna do it myself._ “Let me do it until we get to the door. It’ll take us a year to get there if you do it on your own, and you’ll probably wander back to St. Louis with as well as you can see right now.” 

That made me smile, and I agreed, but not before giving him one condition. “Okay, but only if you agree to use me as a prop in some way to get those people in there to believe what’s happening in St. Louis, so they can get home, get packed, and get somewhere safe. If you get any true believers, then bring them with us.”

“Beth, it’s not gonna work. I tried at the last place we filled up.” Before I could respond, he picked me up in a way that didn’t hurt my ribs. I guess if my pain was his pain, he knew what to do not to cause it. It was a bonus for our connection. 

“See, so you know that we at least have to try. If they don’t believe us, at least we can say we did that much . . . it’s not like we have to hide what we do anymore. The world’s about to get a huge wake up call on the supernatural.” 

He reluctantly agreed, but not without his own terms. “Fine, but not until after I’ve had my pie. Don’t need them kicking us out or callin’ the cops to cart us away to the psych ward before I get the last pie I’m ever gonna have.” _Last pie? I don't think so._

“Nah, I had lots of practice learning how to do bake one with Karen, so you’re covered. We’ll stock up on enough pie making supplies to make all the pies you could ever want, and you’ll be set.” 

“You must’ve made about 100 pies with her from what I saw . . . but it was good pie, so I guess goin’ to St. Louis to get you back was worth the effort.” I smiled, and then he got a little more serious while he went over our plan of action. “Alright, we’ll go with the truth, except we’ll say that Croats did this to you before Adam and I could stop ‘em, but we got to you before you were infected, but don’t get your hopes up. It won’t work.” 

We put our act into place, and got exactly one old man with his young grandson to agree to come with us before we got kicked out. George was a widower and religious, so he’d bought it right away, and Ron, his grandson, was visiting from Chicago. George was going to contact Ron’s family to let them know where he was taking their son, so they could join us as soon as possible . . . providing they believed him.

Dean sounded like he felt the opposite way I did. “Hey, it worked better than I thought it would. That’s 2 more people than we would’ve had, and maybe the kid’s family’ll make it up in time . . . even if they don’t buy it, they might come up wantin’ to know what gramps is doing with their kid, and by then, they’ll have caught on to what’s going on and stay. And we told the rest of ‘em back there what to look out for, so if the news starts broadcasting riots in other cities, maybe we gave ‘em a chance.” _Looks like he's the positive one today, or maybe being a pessimist sets the bar low, so anything over it is a win._

When we got to the diner in the next town, Dean gave George some money and asked if he could make a supply run while we ate, and George was more than happy to do it. He also said he’d left a message on his son’s machine telling him to call him back, because it was urgent. All we could do was wait to hear back on that. I agreed with Dean that this time we should actually eat before telling anyone what was going on out in the world otherwise we’d end up doing nothing but hopping from diner to diner the whole way to the cabin just trying to get some food. 

Dean sat next to me in the booth and Adam sat across from us with his back to the door. I’d nearly finished the last brownie sundae with a side of fries and a chocolate shake that I would ever have again when I heard Dean ask the waitress if she could turn up the TV. I listened as a reporter said that the military was being sent in to deal with the riots in St. Louis, but now there were reports popping up in Kansas City, Louisville, and Indianapolis as well as some smaller cities in between. _Fuck, this is really happening. It’s really over._

I didn’t get to hear the rest of the news as Dean grabbed my hand and helped me slide out of the booth, so he could pick me up again. “Come on, we’ll try to see if we can get anyone here to come with us. Then we have to go.” We really did. Those cities were all roughly 3 ½ hours away from St. Louis, and we were only 5 hours away from it. 

We wouldn’t have had any success with getting any of the people in that diner to come with us if it hadn’t been for George. He must’ve seen the waitress ushering us out the door after her manager insisted on it and decided he’d come talk to her on our behalf. He convinced her to come with us by asking her if she had any kids. When she said she had a daughter, he pointed to his grandson out in the truck and said he figured that if we were wrong, they’d leave the cabin in a few days. He didn’t think we were dangerous, just people who knew what was really going on, and he wasn’t willing to risk his grandson’s life if what we were saying was true. He finished his spiel at the end by sadly saying, “And I hate to think it, but when we met them at the last diner that threw them out, they said it’d spread, because it’s a virus, not civil unrest . . . And it is spreading. Now I could maybe see it being just riots in the big cities, but the small towns? I don’t think so. You’re runnin’ outta time to make the right choice for you and your daughter.” 

Apparently, she was a single Mom, so she had to go to the school and get her daughter, but Dean told her she wouldn’t have time to go back and get their things after we picked up the girl. She reluctantly agreed before saying that she’d call a few people she knew along the way and tell them where we’d be, and our little band of 3 became 7 with a few additions to be confirmed at a later time. We stopped one more place much closer to the cabin, so Dean could run in to grab more guns and ammo, but nobody there believed what Dean told them, so unfortunately we left there without any new recruits. 

When we got to the cabin, Dean told me to stay in the car and had Adam stay behind to watch me. “Adam? What’s going on?” This felt like it went beyond just doing a standard sweep to make sure the coast was clear. 

“There’s another car here. I think he’s going to check who it is. The hunters we told to come here were a couple of days out. Nobody should be here yet.” 

“Do you think it's Sam?” I wasn't sure what had happened with him. I hadn't wanted to ask. I just knew he wasn't there, and now he knew I knew how to find the tablets. He was naturally an 'ends justifies the means,' kind of guy, and if he thought there would be no consequences for his actions to get those means, what was he truly capable of doing? 

Adam snorted and said, “I doubt that.” 

I sat forward ready to ask why, but Dean knocked on the roof of the car and told us to come out. “Who is it?” 

“The first good news we’ve had in the last 24 hours.” _Curiouser and curiouser._

Adam showed our 4 guests where they could sleep in the two rooms that weren’t Dean’s upstairs, and set me down on the couch before sitting across from me on the coffee table. “Does this sound familiar? On the drive here from Madison, you were thinking of a list of things we need. Wind turbine generators, greenhouse, seeds . . .” 

“How? Wait! Is Chuck here? I thought there could only be one prophet at a time.” I liked Chuck a lot.

I heard Chuck’s voice come from my left. “Hi, Beth. I, uh, how’d you know that?” 

I shrugged. “I don’t know. I just did.” 

“Maybe there’s supposed to be one prophet per job, and I’m not done writing the Winchester Gospel yet.” _Good point._

“Do you know where the other prophet is?” I wasn’t asking about Sam specifically, but it was implied that’s what I was doing, because if Chuck knew where the other prophet was, we’d know where Sam was. 

“Uh, no. It seems kind of like he’s not a part of the story right now.” 

“But you still know what’s going on with Dean. That’s how you knew what was happening and made it here?” 

Chuck moved to sit on the arm of the couch and said, “I was on my way here when Dean called . . . Guess it’s not too bad being a prophet during the Zombie Apocalypse, huh?” 

I smiled. “I guess it doesn’t . . . unless you’re Kevin.” 

I looked in Dean’s general direction when he said, “Kevin? How’d you know his name? You sure you’re all right?” _What? I don’t have brains oozing out of my ears, do I?_

“Yeah, I’m fine . . . I was with the demons that took him. His name’s Kevin Tran. I don’t know where he was living. I just know he was in high school. Ask me something about him, and I bet I could tell you more.” Dean wanted to know if he had any family. “He has a Mom named Linda. It’s just the two of them. Maybe he has a girlfriend? Or he would have in about a year and a half. Her name’s Channing Ngo.” 

Dean said he’d look into it, and then put his hand on my knee. “Chuck seems to have started picking up on you, like he does me, so you’re not just in his visions when you’re around me anymore . . . It looks like we’re clear here at the cabin for the next couple of days, so -“ 

“You and Adam are going out to start getting more guns and ammo, lots of food, and the types of things I thought of on that list you were calling out?” 

I felt Dean lean closer. “I was going to wait until Bobby got here, but now that Chuck’s here, I think it’s best if we get started on this. He’ll know if something is coming your way and can give me a call, and I’ll be right back.” I nodded slowly in agreement. Of course I didn’t want him to go without me, but I was a liability at the moment. 

I heard Adam come down the stairs, so I said, “Um. I think money is still going to be important until people stop using it. Have Adam go and look in the loose wall panel next to your bed, and you go look under the third floorboard away from the oven in the kitchen.” 

When they both came back, Adam was the first one to say anything. “How much is this, Beth?” 

I calculated it in my head. “I think it should be $25,160. There’s more, like maybe 3 ½ or 4 grand, in the bottom of my weapons bag. You should give Bobby a call and tell him about it, so he can use it to pick up some supplies before he gets here.” 

Dean was still standing, so his voice come from somewhere above me. “You pull off that heist without me?” 

I smiled and shook my head. “No, I started hiding money in the cabin the first time you brought me here and kept adding to it while Adam and I were on the road and maybe a few other times when we were on hunts in the area.” I heard Adam leave to go call Bobby for a supply order, but I hadn’t meant that he should do it right that second. Bobby wouldn’t be there for a few days. Maybe Dean told him to go, so he could talk to me in private, because I heard Chuck leave too. 

I heard Dean counting the money as he sat in front of me again. “I would’ve used actual cash when we played poker if I knew you had this much hidden around the place.” 

“You mean the poker we play where you’re a big freakin’ cheater?” 

He stopped counting. “Says the woman who cheated to win all this cash gambling on games she knew the scores of ahead of time! I thought you said you didn’t want to abuse it.” 

“I didn’t abuse it, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t bet big on a couple of long shots. You’re the one that helped me save it, because you never let me pay for anything, and now it’s yours, so you can go buy all the toys you want until it runs out. It’s going to be useless soon. And not all of it’s from football games. Some of it’s from working at Yuri’s. Some of it’s from when I take it off of people who deserve it. And some of it’s from when I bet on you when you hustle pool. I actually had more fun making it than I probably would’ve had spending it.” 

Dean leaned towards me and said, “Nah, you and me would’ve had fun spending this if I’d known it was here. What were you savin’ for?” 

I shrugged. “I don’t know. I always called it my rainy day fund, so I guess I was saving for something like this.” 

“But you didn’t know this would happen with your future thing, right?”

I sighed and shook my head. “No, it was more of a cub scout ‘always be prepared’ kind of thing, but lately I was starting to think that if you really wanted to pull off a big heist after Lucifer was gone, we could use it to buy the equipment for it. It’s what I used to buy Christmas presents for you and Adam, so I thought why not use some of it to fund a holiday.” I heard him exhale briefly, like he was disappointed, so I added, “But whose to say when the dust settles, we won’t be pulling off heists against the opposition. If there really is a war coming or is maybe happening now, I’m not going to just sit back and let the armies fight it out while humans get screwed over in the middle. Maybe the best thing to do is take their biggest weapons away from them, and then we can actually keep the things we steal instead of having to give them back.” He said that might make up for not getting to hit a casino, which made me feel better about him losing out on that pipe dream. 

I wanted to revisit what he’d asked me about knowing the future. “You know nothing’s been updated since Lucifer died, so I think me knowing the future is over. This is brand new territory for me.”

“What about Kevin’s family?” He sounded confused.

I lightly bit my bottom lip in thought, while I tried to come up with the best way to explain it. “I think I still know useful things if the right questions are asked, like about Kevin or the devil’s trap bullets, so that’s still there, but the actual future is a complete unknown.” 

“Will you miss it?” _Not really._

“Will I miss being the harbinger of doom? No. Will you miss it?” 

It sounded like he was smiling when he said, “Not really. Kinda sucks bein’ the one to get the bad news and still not be able stop it.” Yeah, I bet it did. Wouldn’t feel great if you found out something like the Croat Apocalypse wasn’t supposed to happen either.

The others came downstairs then, and I wanted to get the grime from Crowley’s basement off of me, so I made my way to Dean’s bedroom for some spare clothes to change into and went to the bathroom to brush my teeth with my spare toothbrush that I kept hidden in the cabin and had a shower with some stuff that George had bought earlier. While I did that, Dean gave his orders to Chuck, who would be taking charge until I could at least see again.

When I was done, Adam and Dean were ready to go. As I followed them to the door, Dean turned back to gently pull me into his arms and put his forehead on mine. “I’ll be back in a couple of days . . . Maybe you should try calling your bookie in Green Bay, and the guys at the bar? Could try the others you know around the country too.” 

I smiled, because I’d forgotten about them. I was so glad he hadn’t. I let him know I’d be fine and was surprised when he leaned down and kissed me. I probably looked like I’d been run over by a train, and what about everybody else here? I soon forgot about it, because I got swept away in the moment as his tongue skimmed mine. When he stepped back to leave, he leaned down towards my ear so that only I could hear. “Just you and me in here right now, and I got you back. Couldn't care less about the raccoon eyes.” I accused him of being a cheater, and he cockily denied it before going out the door, and a few seconds later, I heard the Impala start up and drive away.


	4. Building A Camp

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a little different in tone from Beth. I tried to give a first hand perspective on how monumental getting something like this going would be.

Dean and Adam weren’t back in a couple of days. Chuck didn’t get any big news on them, so I assumed that meant they were fine and tried not to worry. They needed to get as much as they could as soon as they could.

Will, George’s son, turned up the day after we got there, and he brought his wife and Noah, his older son, with him. He said that he hadn’t believed his Dad at first, but the more he saw on the news, the more he thought his Dad might be right, and it wouldn’t be a bad idea to take a few days off work just in case. It’s a good thing he did, because Chicago turned into a disaster zone a few days later. 

The same night that Will and his family arrived, Gretchen, the best friend of Cindy, our waitress from the diner in Madison, got there with her son, and they brought a couple of her friends with them. The next day, my bookie, Frank, showed up with his teenage son. The ex-wife was out of the picture. He wouldn’t have come, but the whole of sport had been cancelled across the country, and he was starting to get spooked. I had him stop by O’Brien’s Pub and put me on the phone to Hughie, the owner, and Hughie brought his family that night. Hughie also brought along the regulars I talked to on game days, Buzz and Marco.

I think most of the people from my gambling and football life in Green Bay didn’t know what to make of me when they got there. It was pretty obvious from the devil’s traps and other sigils on the walls, my appearance, and my explanation of what was going on around the country, that I wasn’t necessarily who they thought I was, but I got the impression that they mostly just wanted to take care of me even though I didn’t think I needed it. 

The rest of my contacts across the country wouldn’t come. They didn’t want to leave where they were or weren’t answering. I had the people who were at the cabin try calling people too, but by that point they were getting similar responses to the ones I’d gotten, except for Hughie who finally got his waitress Janie to come with her boyfriend, a couple of her boyfriend’s friends planning to come for a weekend of partying, and their girlfriends. 

All the new guests brought sleeping bags, and we had plenty of floor space, but I knew we’d need to sort out sleeping arrangements better or people would get restless. The only place that was off limits was Dean’s room. As far as I was concerned, that was the first room he could call his own even if he thought of my room back at Bobby’s as half his . . . If he wanted to share with the others when he got back, he could, but that was going to be his decision. 

Bobby showed up the morning after the Green Bay people did with Pamela, Jody, Stephen, a.k.a. the wendigo hunter I punched in the nose, Rufus, Yuri, Ivan, and their wives, Tatiayna and Olga along with a few others. The non-hunters were people, like Jack, a bouncer at Yuri’s, and his girlfriend, Stacey, and Maxine and Trish, two girls, I assume, Stephen spent the night with before he got the call from Bobby telling him about a demon virus hitting St. Louis.

Pamela brought a guy named Clark that she’d been giving a reading to when she got a strong urge to tell him he needed to go get his family and any neighbors that were home, and come back to her place. She told him not to waste any time packing, and made it clear that they were all in danger, so he did what she said, and by the time he’d come back, Bobby had called her with directions on where to meet him, so they could join his convoy. Jody brought a couple of her deputies and their families with her. 

I was still wearing my sunglasses when Bobby got there, but it was half to keep the light out of my eyes and half to keep from scaring the kids by that point. When Bobby walked through the door, the first thing he asked was where Dean was. I told him that he hadn’t gotten back from his supply run yet, and I didn’t know how long he’d be gone. I hoped he came back with a lot, because we’d upped our population considerably from when he left, and we were still expecting Deacon, who used to be in the marines with John, to come from Arkansas with his wife . . . hopefully . . . if they made it. 

Bobby grumbled about how childish Dean was being about the situation with Sam. He told me what Dean did and said to Sam after I was taken and said that wasn’t the way you treat family. His choice of words irritated me. I was a walking, talking bruise because of what Sam did. “Really, Bobby? Because I thought that you didn’t sell family either, or am I not really family. Maybe I never was, but -” I cut myself off and calmed myself down to make my point by taking off my sunglasses. Then I showed him the bruises that merged together into practically a single bruise covering my stomach and sides. It was really dark in some places and pretty dark in others. I didn’t bother showing him the more major bruises and cuts that covered other parts of my arms and shoulders or calves and feet, because they weren’t potentially life threatening. I also could’ve shown him more than that, but I didn’t want to be too immodest. The bruises essentially covered most of my body from my feet to my eyes. The only part that was clear was my back, because I’d been tied to a beam thick enough to protect it.

I wanted Bobby to understand why I wasn’t going to help him on finding Sam. I pulled the bottom of my shirt down before taking a step back to sit on the arm of the couch and asked Bobby if he remembered what I told him would happen if somebody got all 10 of the things we found in Montana, because that’s what Crowley had been trying to get out of me. I saw recognition dawn on his face, so I explained further. “Those are the exact same thing that Sam wants, and he wants them for the exact same reason Crowley did. He wants to become God. The only difference between Crowley and Sam is that Sam didn’t know until too late that I’m what he needed to find the other 9 . . . And Bobby, I’ve had time to think about it, and I’m sure you did too on your way here, but there’s no way that this Croat thing was an accident. You and I were there when Sam was supposed to be guarding the back. If any trucks got out, we had a plan in place to stop them. All he had to do was let us know one got away. He didn’t even have to tell us why it got through . . . just that it did, and we would’ve taken care of it.” He gave me a curt nod to let me know he’d considered it. 

By the look on his face, I knew I had embarrassed him by showing him my injuries, and I was sorry for making him feel that way. “I’m sorry, Bobby. I understand on an intellectual level why you're upset. You don't want to see them at odds at a time like this . . . Maybe I shouldn’t have shown you what happened to me, but I needed you to understand why I will not be fighting in Sam’s corner on this . . . I’m not speaking for Dean or Adam, because I haven’t talked to them about it. I’d say Dean might come around if you want to try with him when he gets back, but don’t you dare give him a hard time for what happened. He’s already blaming himself for all the people out there being infected by the Croat virus, because he thinks it’s his fault that he couldn’t get Sam to stop before it was too late. And I’m sorry to be so blunt, but I wouldn’t worry about Sam. He’s the safest man on the planet right now, because he planned for all of this.” 

Ugh, I felt like a selfish cow the second I stopped talking. What kind of an apology for making him feel bad was that? I was about to start talking about what we needed to do next, so I could change the subject when Bobby gave me a gentle hug and a pat on the back before saying, “Well, I’m glad you’re alright now anyway. It’s the first thing I ought to have said to you. I’m glad you’re back.” 

I gave him the best hug that I could given my limited movements. “I’m glad you’re here, Bobby . . . How about we figure out where we’re going to put everyone?” He seemed happy enough with that. Changing the subject worked for both of us.

We decided that Stephen, Rufus, Bobby, and Ivan would go with Jody and her deputies, Shawn and Shane, to get camp beds from a nearby boy’s camp. We could’ve moved everyone there, but this place was more secure. After they got the beds, they’d go into town and get food for everyone. I hadn’t left the cabin since I got here, and once people had arrived, nobody left, so this would let us know how close to home the outbreak had gotten in just a few days. They were gone for a while.

Out of a population of roughly 200, our team only came back with 4 survivors. Everyone else had either fled town or been infected. One of the survivors was Maeve, the 50-ish, divorced, store clerk, who told me where to buy my Christmas presents, and the other 3 were kids she pulled in off the street when she saw them wondering down the main road alone. They were siblings, roughly 10 to 13 years old, whose parents had been infected by a guy who pretended to stop and ask them for directions. He’d attacked the mother first and then when the father got involved infected him too. News reports had been giving more details about what the symptoms of those infected with the virus looked like, so the parents knew they’d been infected. They got their children away from the Croat, and then dropped the kids off in the nearest town and drove off before they turned, so they could protect their kids from themselves. 

Before the week was out, Deacon and his wife Sue arrived, and by then, there were reports of Croats starting to pop up from some European cities with direct flights from the U.S. Europe was trying to curtail the virus before it got out of hand by stopping people from leaving the airports when they arrived and refusing more incoming flights. Japan and China found themselves in similar situations. Some cities in Mexico were also starting to report signs of riots, but it hadn’t reached Mexico City yet. It moved fast, but could have been much worse. 

After Dean and Adam had been away for 2 weeks, I was up and around and ready to get out of the cabin for short jaunts even though Chuck or Bobby kept trying to baby me and make me take it easy. I loved that place, but it was not the same with so many people crammed into it, and I wanted to feel useful. Bobby was in charge of building up our defenses around the perimeter until Dean got back. Chuck and Pamela, with a bit of side protection from Stephen, were in charge of the group that went out to collect information. That was the Information Team. They stole library books and printed out useful things they found online if the places still had electricity. The IT also went into houses to look for books, food, and survivors. When they were done, they marked off the streets in the towns they hit on local maps, so we didn’t waste time checking those places again. They handed off the food items they found to Ivan, Yuri, and their wives who were in charge of the group responsible for food. 

I trusted Ivan and Yuri to keep track of our food, because that would be our most important resource once we had our defenses set up. The Food Team was in charge of developing a way to grow food in any greenhouses that Dean picked up while he was out. That meant that they searched for plants, packaged seeds, and perishable foods that had seeds, like peppers and tomatoes, so they cultivate the seeds using methods found in books and print outs the Information Team found.

The Food Team also went on food runs to supermarkets and stores in search of fresh food that could be canned or non-perishable food that could be stored. Just like with the Information Team, the Food Team marked off the places they’d been to on maps, so we didn’t go back to those places, and they brought back survivors too. If they picked up things like clothes, soap, or blankets, those were handed off to Maeve and her team who were keeping an inventory of everything that was non-food or non-information related, so we could be prepared for people, who hadn’t had a chance to grab any of their belongings before they got here . . . and the rest of us too, since we were all starting over from scratch. 

If the teams brought back things like cough syrup or asprin in any of the supermarkets, I was keeping track of those for the clinic I wanted to set up. Sue, Deacon’s wife, and her team looked after the kids while everyone else worked. Everyone else we had was assigned to a specific team that suited their expertise in one area or another.

2 ½ weeks after Dean and Adam’s departure, the virus had spread to most of the big cities throughout the mid-section of the U.S. Everything from Philadelphia down to Atlanta, and west to Las Vegas was pretty much a hot zone in the cities. Based on the news reports, the smaller towns had better luck, because they had fewer people, and less of the infected were moving to them for now. It was hard to know how long that would last if the news was broadcasting that to people. Plus, we were near a small town, and it’d been wiped out, so how safe could other small towns be? They seemed to have things under control in Texas for now, and most of Colorado seemed to have some protection on how fast the infection spread due to the mountains, so not all was lost in the middle yet. 

The big cities along the coasts had more time to set up protective barriers as the virus spread from the inside of the country out. They learned from the mistakes of other cities, but honestly, I also think that Dean’s call to Deacon may have helped make the martial law employed in those cities happen faster. His call had to have done something, because starting in the first week of the outbreak the news reports were calling it the Croatoan virus. How else would they have known what to call it? 

The cities along the coasts had power and services that big cities in the middle didn’t. Power was still going where we were, but we didn’t know how much longer that would last. We still had phones and news from the radio. We had a well and were only a short distance from the lake, so water wasn’t a problem even though we had to set up a rota system for showers. Now we just needed more buildings, because the tents people were staying in wouldn’t cut it once it snowed.

So far, no Croats had been by to pay us a visit at the camp, but then Jody, her deputies and Rufus were clearing out the surrounding area pretty regularly. I also had Jody and eventually me, when I didn’t look like a zombie myself, make trips to the neighbors to try and set up a network of people who would strengthen our community. We added 5 more cabins and a couple of farms to our network. It looked like we had the makings of a feudalistic society with our cabin at the epicenter, because the neighbors were going to specialize in specific trades, and after we got the whole system up and running, we’d all trade back and forth for what we needed. The rest of the neighbors had all taken off to parts unknown. Those 7 outposts that we’d convinced to stay were all that was left in the way of people in the area. 

As the virus continued to spread, there was a worry that people who vacationed up here in the summer would get infected along the way and turn into Croats while they were up here. That meant we had to set up a place for quarantine for any new seemingly normal people our Patrol Team came across. 

In the evenings, we had the people from the outposts come to our camp to work on weapons training alongside the people in our camp who didn’t have experience with any of that, and after the weapons training, those of us who were hunters filled everybody else in on ways to defend against different monsters, spirits, demons, etc. It was like a hunter workshop where we’d focus on a different monster every night and fill them in on lore and things that had worked for us on different hunts. 

What did I do? Well, because I’d been laid out for most of the first two weeks, I was coordinating, helping with the lore training at night, and eventually I helped our neighbors get things in their own camps up and running. I organized everything the teams brought me at the end of the day, like reports on the wall and inventories of items found by the Information and Food Teams. I came up with lists of things they needed to try and find or do the next day, and I organized and inventoried the paltry amount of medical supplies we had. All of that was easy, because it’s what I could do when I couldn’t do the physical stuff, and at times, I felt like they didn’t really need my help on those types of decisions even though Bobby assured me it was good to have a single person in charge. It still made me feel like an armchair general, and I wanted to get out there and be doing more in the big bad world.

3 weeks to the day after Dean had gone, the sat phone he left rang. It hadn’t rung once since he’d been gone. I was alone in the cabin organizing the books and papers the Information Team had brought in the day before, and nobody would be back for the rest of the day, so I answered it.

“Ummm . . . Hello? Is this Rachel?” Whoever it was sounded young. 

“I’m her sister. How can I help?” 

“My mom is sick. Our neighbor attacked her, and now she’s locked herself in her room and won’t come out. She told me to go into the basement, hide in the crawl space, and call Rachel or Sam. She told me not to come out no matter what I heard. I keep hearing guns outside. What if someone came in and hurt her? I think there are people outside our house, and I don’t know what to do if they’re inside.” The kid was trying to sound brave until the end. 

“How old are you?” 

“11.” 

I knew kids were being turned into Croats everywhere out there, but the thought of kids having their souls twisted by the virus and then being sent to Hell infuriated me. “Okay, listen. I’m coming to get you, but I need you to do everything that I tell you to do. I need you to pick a place that nobody knows about in your basement, go there, and hide. Don’t leave that spot to get food or go to the bathroom. Don’t make any noise. Nobody can know you’re there, not even your mom. It won’t be safe for her if she knows where you are, so you have to keep quiet no matter what . . . even if she comes down looking for you. It’s the only way to protect her, got it?” I spoke as calmly as I could, so he wouldn’t panic. Kids need to believe grown-ups have all the answers and can fix things. This one didn’t need to know his mom was a monster or turning into one, and if this kid knew Sam and Rachel, then he probably knew enough about hunting that he would do anything I said even if it didn’t really make sense . . . why would he have to hide from his Mom to keep her safe? 

“Okay. There’s an empty barrel near the back behind some boxes. I think I can get it open and hide inside.” Now if his mom turned, she wouldn’t be as likely to find him if he wasn’t in the last place she told him to go.

“That’s perfect. Try not to move many of the boxes, so the barrel stays hidden. Can you to tell me your name, and where you live? Anything that’ll help me know your house?” He told me, and I scribbled out a quick note telling everyone here where I’d be.

“My name is Beth. I may take a while to get there, but I will get there and take you somewhere safe, so stay put, and remember to keep quiet. Pretend it’s the longest game of hide and seek in the world or you’re in a secret club house and don’t want to be found.” 

After he hung up, I looked at my note and added something about who was in charge. I didn’t have enough time to do more than put my note next to Chuck’s things. He almost always looked through them when he came back from the library runs. With that done, I ran upstairs to grab my weapons bag and stock up on extra ammo before running back down and jumping in my car. I knew it was reliable, and that’s what I needed for where I was going. It was in one of the oldest hot zones in the country.


	5. What Life On the Road Is Like Now

Dean and Adam hit up all of the military surplus stores, pawn shops, and gun stores that they could find in a three state radius the first week after leaving Beth, but they stayed clear of cities that popped up on the news, like Chicago, Minneapolis, and Detroit. They bought grenades, military two way radios and long range radios, crossbows, arrows, exploding arrow tips, ammo, things to make specialized ammo from like silver or iron, AK47s, rifles, shotguns, handguns, night vision scopes and goggles, tactical gear and apparel, waterproof camouflaged clothing for summer and winter and boots all in different sizes, military sewing kits, first aid kits, ration packs, knives, flares, batteries, flashlights, matches, lighters, fire starters, and any other kind of useful thing they could afford with Beth’s money. 

Even with their negotiation skills, it was freaking expensive, but what made it a whole hell of a lot cheaper was when they got the gun store owners to just come with them and bring everything they had in stock. In addition to those people, he and Adam brought others they found who wanted to come with them. Dean hoped that Beth had the place set up and ready to go, because he was bringing about 35-40 people with him.

When the gun stores and army surplus places started firing on anyone that came to the door, Dean had to find a way for he and Adam to start breaking into places, so they could to keep their stockpile growing. They didn’t raid homes of regular people who needed to protect themselves, but smaller national guard bases that weren’t getting much use or were getting ready to gear up and head out to one of the cities. He and Adam used fake IDs and badges to walk right in past the front gates as high ranking officials from the Pentagon, grabbed what they wanted, and walked back out. It was the same type of thing they’d been doing for years, but with higher risk. Dean was impressed with how well Adam was keeping up. None of it seemed to faze the kid. Adam wasn’t a hunter in training anymore. 

Dean may have also picked up a few things here and there that he could use to fix his baby when he got back to the cabin. That wasn’t something he was willing to leave undone much longer. He wouldn’t let her turn out the way that she had when Zachariah sent him to the future. He was going to make sure she purred and shined the way she deserved, and he apologized to her daily for having neglected her for so long. At least the future Zachariah showed him would never happen in the same way now that Lucifer was dead. 

Early on, they scored a flatbed truck off of a construction site that had been abandoned, and Adam drove that with everything they’d found strapped down under tarps in the back, since the Impala could only hold so much. A couple of the people with them had their own trucks, and that helped with carrying their haul too. The cabs of those trucks were filled to the brim with people, and everyone else was bunched up in a van they’d found, so there wasn’t a huge convoy they had to defend, just a train of about 5 vehicles. The longer they were out, the more Dean felt like he needed to get as much as possible before heading back. They needed to get enough to be able to arm whoever was in the cabin in the event of an assault. What they brought back now would have to do for the time being, and if they needed bigger firepower, they could check out bigger military bases if those ever went under. 

After the guns were sorted, Dean and Adam moved on to finding fuel they could bring with them and diesel, solar and wind turbine generators. Last, but not least, they focused on getting food, and things they could use to grow more food, like greenhouses. That’s what Beth wanted, so he made sure he got it. Maybe they should have gotten the food first, but you can’t hold onto that or any of the other things, including your car if you don’t have the guns. Not now. 

He hadn’t been wrong about normal humans turning on one another. Adam and he protected each other and the others in their convoy with everything they knew how to do, but they never killed the people trying to rob them. That was his direct order for everyone in his group who had a gun. If the people that tried to hold them up didn’t look like they knew what they were doing, he’d ask if they wanted to come with him, and if they didn’t, he’d leave ‘em behind. The bandits that had gotten a system down for their roadblocks and who looked like they’d gotten a taste for it were easy to spot, and he wouldn’t trust them to come back to the camp, because they’d probably stage a coup and kick everyone else out, but at least he left them alive. He wouldn’t take out humans who hadn’t been infected unless it was absolutely necessary, and so far it hadn’t been necessary. A shot to the arm of the person in charge generally got the point across when talking didn’t work.

After a week and a half, smaller sized towns had more and more of the infected. It wouldn’t be long before everything in the central part of the US was taken over. Dean doubted that the cities along the coasts were going to hold out for much longer either. They really weren’t equipped to handle it if the Croats swarmed them in mass, and since it was clear that the Croats were still thinking rationally, that would definitely happen. 

At the moment Croats were all he had to worry about. Demons weren’t controlling them yet. Whatever else they were busy doing couldn’t be good, but he hadn’t found any to question. Croats were more dangerous without direction. All they cared about was infecting more people, and they were immune to things that demons weren’t, like holy water and salt. Maybe it was because it worked like an infection, not possession. At least they were easy to spot once you got used to what they looked like. 

Dean could see how their thought process worked in the remnants of towns he and Adam went through where the humans had tried to hide in a place they thought would be safe, like a church, only for the Croats to set the building on fire and smoke them out. It was calculated and very human, not mindless like he hoped it would become in a few months time when the infected were more like young demons and only out for a pound of flesh. 

They’d been out for 3 weeks now, and it was time to get back. He didn’t want to chance being away any longer. The camp needed these guns. They had to build up their defenses at the cabin, and something had seemed off to him that whole day. He couldn’t place why, but he’d learned to listen to his instinct a long time ago when it came to things like this. He had to get back, and it had to be today. 

He called it quits on the road trip after helping Adam and Channing’s Dad load about half a ton of rock salt from outside a hardware store in Little Falls, Minnesota. Nobody cared if they took the salt when people were looting the supermarket next door, but it’s all that the place had to offer, or they would have taken more. Maybe the next time they went out, they could go by one of those salt depots that the transportation departments had for the winter to see if they could get more there. Like everything else, they’d have to make do with this for now. 

When they pulled up to the cabin that evening, the place hardly resembled the one he left, but it still had a long way to go. There was a salt-encrusted, barbed wire, fence encircling the camp to keep it protected until construction of the main outer wall was done being built, and there was a guard on duty at the gate they’d set up. Dean recognized this dickhead straight away. 

Stephen approached the driver’s side window. “Sorry, Dean. I have to do the usual tests and you’re suppos’d to go into quarantine for a couple of days.” 

“We’ll do the tests, but we’re not sittin’ in quarantine. Where’s Bobby or Beth or Chuck? I’ll vouch for the people I brought with me. They’re clean, or they wouldn’t be here.” _It’s just my luck that this guy is one of the only survivors at the end of the world . . . Awesome. He’s serious about doing the tests._

Dean stuck his arm out of the window for the silver and holy water tests and nodded for Adam to do the same in the truck behind him. Stephen did the tests but still wouldn’t let them in when he was done. Instead, he radioed for Bobby. _How did I ever think that this guy is good enough for Beth?_

Bobby rounded the corner of the house looking like he was in a bad mood until he saw Dean. “Bobby, tell him everyone I brought with me is alright. They’ll do the tests, but they’re not going in quarantine. We’ve spent the last 3 weeks getting all of this crap unless you guys don’t want it.” Dean got out to show Bobby their haul. 

“Sure, he’s alright, Stephen. He knows what he’s lookin’ for better than any of us, so if he says the people comin’ in are clean, they’re clean.” Stephen couldn’t hide his smirk anymore after that. He wasn’t doin’ this to make sure he followed protocol. He was doin’ it to be a dick without letting on that’s what he was doing, so Dean couldn’t rise to it, or he’d look like the asshole. It’s the same type of shit Stephen had done the whole time they’d been on the hunt with him for that wendigo . . . always bringing up the college thing, askin’ him every 5 minutes if he’d read this book or that book to make him look bad, using that fucking red neck accent with him and not Beth to make it look like he had to dumb things down for him and talk in a language he could understand, and now Stephen was probably holding him up at the gate to show he had the upper hand here. Dick.

Bobby got into the car with Dean so they could drive through the gate and take everything to the house. “What’s the status on the outer wall, Bobby? This barbed wire fence won’t keep those things out for long.” 

“Well, it might take a little longer, but Beth wants us to dig a trench next to where we want to put the wall. Say, we take 6 feet out of the ground for the trench and put it on top of the ground next to it to form a mound, you’ve got a 12-foot drop of dirt from the top of the mound to the bottom of the trench. Then you can build a wall up on top of the mound and add another 6, 8, 10 feet on top. Some idea she got from medieval Irish ring forts or somethin’. She wants it to be about half a mile on each side to allow room for the camp to grow. Rufus didn’t think we had the time for it, but he got a digger out here the other day, because she insisted he do it her way. Rufus is still diggin’ out the trench the rest of the way around. We’ll build the wall out of wood, since there are plenty of trees around here we can use, and then we’ll carve wards into ‘em and put more of the barbed wire on top. We need to work on how to keep them from tunneling under though.” They parked, and Bobby got out to start helping unload Adam’s truck. 

Dean thought about it. They needed to get this wall right. “The whole thing has to be stone, concrete, steel, iron . . . anything but wood. The Croats are burnin’ down places to get at people. We could reinforce both sides of the mound with concrete to keep anything from digging through it. Could dig another trench about 20 feet deep inside the bank to pour more concrete in an inner moat to make it a lot harder to dig under the wall. We’ll need a cement truck. We could, uh, use the extra dirt from the trench inside the wall to build smaller mounds outside the outer trench to slow anything down before it gets to the wall, and we’ll need to cut down the trees around the outside of the wall, so the Croats can’t just climb one and hop over. Say 30 feet on either side of the wall is a no tree zone. We’ll need more cabins. We can use the wood for those. I brought a few carpenters with me. Where are the watch towers going?” 

All in all they hadn’t made a bad start. Just a few things they wouldn’t have known, like the fire thing. Bobby told him how Beth had set up teams to go out and collect things. Yuri’s team collected food, and Pamela and Chuck went out to collect books and printed stuff off the internet on everything from how to make antibiotics to how to make clothes and farm. Beth made them pick up classic books and normal books for entertainment along with anything on the occult too. 

“So, where is Beth?” 

“I don’t know. Haven’t seen her all day. I’ve been workin’ outside for most of it. If her car’s not here, I figure she’s gone to one of our ‘outposts’ as she calls them. She makes Rufus and I run weapons training and lore lessons at night for everyone in the area. She’ll probably come in with one of them when we start in an hour or so . . . only got up and movin’ around the place like normal a couple of days ago, so she hasn’t had a chance to do much of the heavy lifting yet, but she’s been bossin’ us all around and keeping track of what’s goin’ on. She’s been a big help even if she doesn’t think she has.” 

_That’s weird._ She didn’t feel like she was nearby. She felt like she wasn’t even in this state, but someone would have noticed if she left, and why would she leave? 

“Bobby? Where’s Chuck?” Dean was starting to think that this was what he’d thought was wrong today. 

“If he’s back, he’s in the house,” Bobby answered as Dean jogged up the steps to the cabin. Walking through the door, he immediately noticed how different it looked in there as well. There were bunk beds and sleeping bags set up all over the place and new wards on the walls.

“Chuck!” Dean turned when he saw a hand holding a glass of whiskey rise above the back off the couch. 

“Here Dean. Sorry. Felt another vision coming on and thought I’d get started on the remedy early.” Chuck slowly sat up, careful not to drop any of his drink. 

“You know where Beth is?” 

“I haven’t seen her all day. Last I knew she was here. I haven’t seen anything in the future if that’s what you mean. Haven’t had one for either of you for a week or more.” Chuck laid back down, and Dean started looking around the cabin. He found a few different notebooks with her handwriting on them. They were all things she was keeping track of around here, but no note. 

If she left, she would’ve left one. She’d left one or told him she’d be back if she went somewhere ever since that time she didn’t leave a note when he was tracking down those ghouls. But then she didn’t know he’d be back today. He concentrated on where she was while he shuffled through papers. It felt like she was moving further away. _Where the fuck is she? If she didn’t leave a note for me, who’d she leave it for? Bobby and Rufus are outside all the time._

“Chuck? Where do you keep your stuff?”

“Over there on the table by the fireplace,” Chuck answered flopping his arm in the table’s direction. Dean jogged over to it and found what he was looking for almost straight away. When he read it, he went outside, grabbed Adam, and told him to get his stuff, because they were heading back out. When Adam asked why, Dean showed him the note.

_I have to go get Ben in Cicero, IN. His mom is infected. I don’t know when I’ll be back, but I will be back. Bobby is in charge until Dean gets here. – Beth_

Adam handed the note back to him. “That’s in one of the oldest hot zones . . . down around Indianapolis, right? Any idea where she is with your tracker, because if she’s out of this state already . . .” 

Dean was about to say they’d be able to catch up with her as long as he was driving when Chuck came running out of the cabin. “Wait! Dean! We have Croats heading this way.” _Sonofabitch!_


	6. Cicero

The worst part about the drive to get Ben was that I had to go out of my may to avoid places, like Madison and Chicago due to the sheer number of the Infected that were there. It meant it took me even longer to get to him than it normally would have. I knew he was stuck in a barrel until I arrived, and the longer it took, the less likely it would be that he’d stay there. He was just a kid, and kids aren’t great at sitting in one place for that long no matter how well behaved they are. 

I tried to stay off of the interstates and stick to the back roads. Interstates would bring a whole host of problems I didn’t want to have to deal with. There would’ve been more traffic on them, and more traffic meant more abandoned cars. Abandoned cars meant more places people or croats could use to set up ambushes. And abandoned cars meant driving slower to weave around them. I thought it best not to chance that. The phones were down in this part of the country, so I was on my own in this, and it was better not to take unnecessary risks. I hadn’t brought the sat phone. Chuck needed it to call Dean if Dean needed a heads up on anything. 

All told, it took me about 12 hours to get to Cicero, and even with all of that time, I still didn’t have a foolproof plan in place for how I was going to get from my car to the house and from the house back to my car without someone taking off in our only way out of there or croats preventing us from getting back to it. I don’t think there’s any way I could’ve prepared myself to cover all the possibilities. The best I could do was be ready for anything and wing it. I already knew that there were croats outside his house, because Ben said there were, and one of his neighbors turned his mom. I didn’t know what her status was. She should’ve already turned by now. I’d have to take care of her first before I found Ben, because I didn’t want to have to kill her in front of him . . . if he was even still human and alive.

Within a mile or so of the town, I turned off my lights and let my eyes adjust to the dark the best they could. I had to keep my car on the road, not hit any parked cars, and try to find the landmarks Ben had given me, but if any of the infected got in front of me, I was okay with running them over. I had the feeling there were no humans left here except for Ben, well hopefully he was still uninfected. The sound of the engine would be enough to draw attention, but less so than if I had my lights on, which would’ve been like saying, ‘please turn me into one of you,’ in a place with no electricity. As far as I knew, the Croats still had human perception, so if I had a hard time seeing a black car at night, they might too. 

When it was easier to see than I thought it would be, I realized it was because of the full moon. That would make it easier for them to see me coming, but at least I could kind of see well enough to drive. So, I guess I was sort of lucky there was a full moon? _Hope there aren’t werewolves here too._ It wasn’t likely. I’d say they’d gotten the hell out of places like this. I wondered if there were any croat-werewolf hybrids or any other monster-croat hybrids. _That’s disconcerting. How would that even work? They’d have monster strength and the ability to give you a demonic virus . . . Yikes!_

I drove to the northeast of town looking for a big church he said I’d see and finally found it. _Why haven’t any Croats come after me yet?_ I was prepared for that. I wasn’t prepared for the deathly silence. I would have preferred chaos to hide in and actively fight against than this waiting for the guillotine to drop sort of feeling and being exposed out in the open. I knew they were watching and waiting to see what the asinine human would do in what was now their territory. They were probably waiting for my escape to give me false hope. Assholes.

I found Ben’s street and drove my car around the block once to do a quick recon before driving up on the curb and onto the grass so I was as close as possible to the front door. I’d considered just smashing my car into the living room, but I didn’t want to total the car, and I didn’t know what was in there. For all I knew the place was crawling with them, and I could be pinned in my car by debris from the house and unable to get out. 

I grabbed my bag of tricks, slung it across my shoulder, and made sure my favorite handgun, my HK P30 Smith & Wesson, was loaded with the safety off. The little routine calmed me down, before I took a deep breath and got out. I kept my keys with me in the unlikely event that there were humans who wanted a free ride out of here. It wouldn’t stop them from taking it if they knew how to hotwire a car, but it might slow them down until I could get back. I concentrated all of my attention on my hearing and keeping watch out of my peripheral vision. Nothing would be coming at me from the front. It would be from the side or behind, and I needed to pay attention to even the faintest of sounds, so I could take action immediately. I had no margin for error here.

It only took a couple of strides for me to get to the house and take cover there by keeping it behind me, while I picked the lock behind my back. I wanted to make sure I could cover my own back and wasn’t distracted by the lock to do it. It didn’t take long, and it was a better option than breaking a window. If I did that, I might cut myself, and that would make it easier for them to turn me if they got too close. It’d also make too much noise . . . Not that a car engine was all that quiet but glass breaking seemed like it would stand out even more.

I got into the house without any Croats making an appearance, but I could feel them watching. Yeah, they were definitely waiting for me to try and leave, or they were waiting to ambush me in the house. 

The house was just as quiet as the neighborhood. _How’d she survive here for this long?_ That she had was impressive . . . I wondered why she hadn’t made a break for it sooner, but then she was a mother, and maybe she didn’t want to chance anything happening to her son if the set up in her home was safe for them until today. 

I cleared the downstairs first. Every time I went to check a room, I felt like there might be something in there waiting for me, but all the windows were still intact, and the back door wasn’t broken down. _How did she get attacked if they didn’t get in here? ... She must’ve tried to leave . . . Yeah I know that, but why?_

There was nobody on the first floor, so I went upstairs, thinking this place felt creepier the longer I was there. I found the kid’s room, and it was empty. The bathroom was empty too. That just left the one room with the door closed. I listened for any sound on the other side of the door. It was just as quiet in there as the rest of the house was, but that didn’t mean nothing was in there. 

I went with the kicking the plywood door open option hoping to catch her off guard and found her . . . sort of. She was lying on the bed, but I knew straight away she was gone. She’d taken her own life to keep her son safe, and honestly it may have saved her soul if the virus hadn’t taken hold yet . . . hopefully . . . I wasn’t really sure how that worked. Her death must’ve been why Ben said he’d heard gunshots. 

Based on the bullet holes in the floor nowhere near her, she shot off a couple of rounds to make the croats outside think she’d killed Ben, and the next one she’d used on herself. _Why didn’t she call for help sooner?_ She’d left a note for Ben, so I stuffed it in my pocket and said a quiet, “I’m sorry. I’ll make sure your son is safe,” in case she was listening somewhere. 

Heading back down the stairs, I saw a shadow from outside the house move across the wall. _Shit!_ I watched the windows for a moment and saw another figure walk past. They were surrounding the house, so I picked up the pace and headed for the basement. I kept my gun ready while I went down the stairs, but wasn’t confronted by anything, so I walked over to the barrel. “Ben? You in there? It’s Beth . . . You’d better not jump out and bite me if I open this up.” He’d done a good job hiding, because the lid was pretty tight. I started to worry that maybe he didn’t have enough air for the amount of time he’d been in there as I struggled to get it open. 

Finally, it popped up and I looked inside to see a terrified kid looking up at me. He’d managed to stay there the entire time and was more resourceful than I’d thought he would be, because he had a pocketknife that he’d used to carve air holes in the back of the barrel. He pointed the knife at me, so I put my hands up to show him I wasn’t a threat. “Ben, I’m Beth. You ready to get out of here?” 

He nodded and put the knife back into his pocket, so I helped pull him out and set him on the ground before kneeling down to his level to tell him that I was sorry, but his mom didn’t make it. I told him I’d give him a letter she left for him, but we had to get out of there first, because the monsters wouldn’t let him have a chance to say goodbye to her right now. I think he already knew that she was dead, but I didn’t want him to flip out and waste time insisting we go get her if he thought she was just sick or for him to want to see her one last time only to find her with a bullet hole in her head. It was better if he thought we didn’t have time to go see her, which we didn’t really, so it wasn’t a lie.

We were just walking up the stairs when the windows on the first floor of the house started shattering. The ones in the back broke first, which meant they were in the fenced in back yard, but I didn’t want to go that way anyway. Something told me not to go out the front door either, because maybe they were trying to push us that way for a reason. “Ben? Does your mom have a car and a set of keys around here.” I maintained a keen awareness of our surroundings. There were too many places in here for them to hide once they got in here, and it was dark except for the light from the moon shining through the windows. Ben ran into the kitchen before I could stop him. When I rounded the corner, I saw Ben looking at me with the keys in his hands just a man hidden in the corner near one of the broken windows came running towards Ben’s back. 

I put my left hand out for Ben to run towards, while I aimed with the right and shot the Croat in the head in less time than it would have taken me to call Ben’s name and warn him. Ben quickly grabbed my hand and pulled me towards what I assumed was the garage, but those Croats weren’t going to let us leave without any more trouble. This is why they’d been waiting. They’d wanted me to lead them to the house with another human they must’ve known I was there to get, and I’d allowed myself to get trapped inside of it. They were still assholes, but they were smart assholes. 

I dropped Ben’s hand and turned, as I heard rapid footsteps behind us, and took out two more Croats when they came around the kitchen doorway. Looked like the ones in the back weren’t waiting anymore. I turned back around as Ben opened to door to the garage and heard the windows at the front of the house breaking, so I pushed Ben ahead of me through the door and slammed it shut behind us. I had no idea what was waiting for us in the garage, but it had to be better than what was in the house. My hand stayed on the doorknob to keep it closed as the Infected inside the house started trying to pull it open, and I kept my gun up and ready for any hidden surprises in the garage with my other hand. 

“Ben, I need you to take the keys and check in the car to make sure there aren’t any waiting in there. Keep an eye out for anything that might be under the car too, so if there’s something there, it doesn’t grab you and pull you under. Don’t get in the car. Just look in through the windows. If you see one in the car let me know. I’ll cover you, but I need to stay here and hold this door shut until we’re ready.” I felt my heart skip a beat when the croats inside the house pulled the door open an inch before I was able to slam it back shut. There were more zombies banging on the main door of the garage now, and the ones inside the house certainly were persistant. Ben kept to my side of the car as he looked in the windows and said he didn’t see anything, so I told him to pop the trunk and check in there. It was clear too. _Well, that’s lucky, I guess._

I told him to put the keys in the ignition, leave the front door open, and get in the back, and I’d be there in a second. I had to time this just right to make it to the car in time. At least the car was pulled in nose first, so I’d have less distance to cover to make it there. When Ben was safe in the car, I positioned my gun approximately where I thought their heads might be on the other side of the door. I’d gotten a good glimpse of a couple of them as we’d rushed in here, so I hoped those were the two that’d made it to the door first. _Do it now. The ones at the big garage door are pulling the bottom of it up now._ I pulled the trigger and sent a number of shots through the door and paused when I heard something thud against the door and slide down it. 

_Dead croat and something to block the door for a couple of seconds . . . bonus._ I let go of the doorknob, backpedaled to the open car door and just about made it before the throng of Croats behind the one that I’d shot pulled the door open and began to flood into the garage. I took out the 2 frontrunners, and the others stumbled over them as their bodies fell, allowing me enough time to get into the car, close the door and lock it before the rest of the zombies got there. I started the car, and they started to smash against the glass with their fists. At least one must’ve picked up a crowbar from somewhere, because one was used one to smash the driver’s side window. Glancing back, I threw the car in reverse, and gunned it back through the garage door and over the infected out there before any in the garage could grab me and pull me out. Foot to the floorboard, I kept and the car flying in reverse until I was in the middle of the road, took my foot off the gas, and pulled the steering wheel tight to spin the car around the way I wanted it to go before throwing it into drive and flooring it again to fling off any of the hangers on that were latched onto the hood, roof or doors. My Dad might not have been real, but everything I knew about driving a car, I got from him, and he taught me well. 

The last Croat finally fell off as we rounded the corner I needed to head out of town. I had my lights on now, so I could drive faster, and there were Croats trying to block the way out. Some were just standing there in the middle of the road, and they were easy to get through, because all I had to do was mow them down. Others had put cars in place as pretty piss poor roadblocks that I could easily swerve around without having to brake. Maybe their cognition was starting to decline, but they were still pretty smart if they could drive and shoot at us with the guns they held. I really hoped they didn’t follow me once I left Cicero. The last thing I needed was a big car chase.

There was one big finale they had planned at the town limits. I took in the row of vehicles that completely blocked the road, and there was no way I was getting around this roadblock. I had to go through it. “Ben, get down on the floor. Don’t lift your head for anything.” I aimed the car where I wanted it to go without taking my foot off the gas. To the left, there was a gap between two tail ends of cars. I thought I might make it through there if I floored it. The trucks that were part of the road block would have been too heavy to push past in this car, and there were too many Croats with guns pointed at us for us to waste any time trying to get through anywhere else. 

I got down in my seat, so I could barely see over the dash and put all my weight against the accelerator as we hurtled towards the break in their line. _God, please don’t let me total this car._ They shot out a couple more windows as we got closer, but I kind of think maybe their marksmanship was starting to go, because nothing came close to really doing serious damage to Ben or me. They also didn’t go for the tires, which would have stopped us. Hopefully, they really were starting to lose some of their reasoning skills. That might explain why they left the gap between the cars. We slammed into it, and the tail ends of the cars spun out in front of us, so we made it through. Keeping it in a straight line after the collision was a little hard, but we kept going. _I think we made it._

I sat back up and looked in the rearview mirror to see if they were following us. After a couple of minutes, I decided they weren’t, which meant they might be territorial. If these were some of the first to be infected, and they were starting to lose their reasoning skills a little, maybe they would turn into the brainless zombies soon? We would be safer if they did, because it was taking way too long for that to happen. 

“Hey Ben, are you okay?” 

“I’m fine. Can I come up there now and read my letter?” I tried using my sleeve to wipe off some of the broken glass that was on the seat. When I thought it looked safe enough for him, I told him he could come up, and then pulled his letter out of my pocket, so I could hand it to him after he climbed over the seats. He was quiet while he read. He just lost his mom, and he didn’t need me to sit there and tell him everything was going to be okay or to say his mom loved him very much. I didn’t know her, and it would come off as disingenuous. She gave him a letter for that. 

I checked the gas gauge and saw that we had enough to get us probably to Illinois if I kept our speed where it was . . . further if I slowed down. We’d either have to find a way to fill up again or take another car that had been abandoned. Either way we weren’t making it back without stopping again. I didn’t tell him that. No point in worrying him until we actually had to do it. That is if the car didn’t break down first, because it was not in the best of shape after what I’d just put it through.


	7. Croat Invasion

Dean shut the Impala door. “How many? Is it something you guys can handle without us?” 

Chuck looked reluctant to tell him, because Dean did not look happy. “Uhhhh, it seems like they’re working their way down from Canada and some of the towns just north of here that we haven’t had a chance to clear yet. It’s almost like they’re migrating south for some reason. There are about 60 in the first wave and 30 in the next. We should be clear of them by tomorrow afternoon, but I don’t know how soon any more might turn up after that.” 

“How much time do we have?” 

“An hour or two tops for the first group and I’m not really sure about the second one. Tomorrow afternoon some time.” 

Dean pulled his bags out of the back of his car. He had to stay now. These people couldn’t handle that. Most of them didn’t look like they knew how to use a gun before they got here. The ones who could would probably be able to deal with the 30 if they knew it was coming, but not 60. “Did you get anything on Beth?” 

“Uh, yeah . . . She’ll be okay for the next day or two.” Chuck backed towards the house. There was more to that story, but as long as she was all right, Dean didn’t need to know it right now. Just before rounding the corner of the cabin to go find Bobby and Rufus, Dean looked back over his shoulder at Adam who was still by the car and looked torn between wanting to go find Beth and stay with him. 

“Well are you comin’ or not?” 

Adam sighed and rolled his eyes before grabbing his bag and following Dean as he muttered to himself. “I’ll throw her in fucking quarantine when she gets back . . . think she’s the one who needs to learn a lesson for a change.” 

Dean let him know he’d heard that. “Good luck with that . . . she’ll probably tell you she’s a free agent and can do whatever she wants after she breaks out.” It made them both snort and shake their heads as they walked together the rest of the way. They both thought that this was exactly the kind of thing she would do, and she wouldn’t even feel sorry about it when she got back or understand why they’d both be pissed at her when they saw her again, but then they both knew they’d see her again . . . that’s the thing about it. She always came back, so it was kind of hard to stay mad at her when she kept proving that their worries were unfounded . . . and they’d both rather she did that than prove that they were right.

Dean looked at the group who’d been listening to Bobby talk about witches until Dean interrupted their lesson to tell Bobby what was happening. “Is everyone in from the outposts?” Everyone nodded. “Good.” Dean turned to look at Bobby and asked, “How many people here are good enough shots to help out on this?” 

“Well, we’ve got 5 hunters here. I’d say Yuri and Ivan will fit right in with us, and Deacon and his wife will too. Stan over there by Stephen is a retired carpenter, but he’s up here as game hunter in outpost 3, Nigel and Barry are both game hunters too, and Jody and her deputies of course. Pamela’s not too bad of a shot. The rest are all beginners, and I wouldn’t put Chuck anywhere near a gun. So, I guess that makes 15 . . . maybe 16.” Dean and Adam had brought 4 or 5 that could handle a gun back with them. It was better than he’d expected. 

Dean wanted to get Rufus’s take on the situation. He had to rely on the experienced hunter’s opinions, because he didn’t know anything about the people sitting in front of him. “What do you think, Rufus?” 

“I’d have Jess, from outpost 2, and Ross, that college kid there from outpost 7, protect the ammo in a central location. They can hand it to the runners. As far as runners go . . . I’d have Kate and her son Connor from outpost 1 and . . . Brian and his wife, Cindy, from outpost 5 do that. They’re fast in some of the drills I’ve had them do, and I think they’ll keep their head if they’re under pressure well enough to get us what we need when we run low. I’d keep the rest in the cabin. Dale, that college kid there, can keep an eye them. He’s a beginner, but he catches on fast, and he’s not too bad with a rifle.” Rufus must’ve known he needed some kind of an introduction, or he wouldn’t have said all that. These people needed to know he knew them as much as he needed to know what they could do before he lead them into battle.

“Adam and I are gonna take the northeast corner if that’s the direction the croats will be coming from. Bobby, Rufus, Ivan, and Yuri need to spread out along the north, Deacon, Sue, and Jody can take the east. I want Stephen to take the southeast, and Jody’s two deputies to take the northwest. Barry, Nigel, and Stan can cover the west and southwest with Pamela filling in where she can with them. If it’s not a shot to the head, then you’re wasting time. If you hit ‘em anywhere but the head, they’ll keep coming in a way normal humans can’t after they’re shot and that gives them time to infect you before they’re dead.” He appraised the 5 people with gun skills that he’d brought and put one of them with Stephen, one of them with Jody, and the other three around the cabin to help that Dale kid stop anything from getting the people inside of it. 

Turning back to the group of survivors Dean added, “They don’t know we’re here. We’re just in their path, but that doesn’t mean they won’t try to kill or turn us just the same once they find us, so expect them to move around and get at us from the front gate once they know we’re here. Everyone on defense of the perimeter or the cabin gets night vision scopes or goggles depending on what type of firearm you use. We should have just enough for that. There should be only one runner on each of the north, south, east, and west sides, and I want the fastest two along the north and east. You’ll have to keep going back and forth to see what we need. We won’t have time to go searching for you. Everyone stationed outside of the house, take a good look at who’s out here working with you so you don’t shoot each other. That’s the last thing we need.” He waited to make sure they got it. They were as ready as they could be given the circumstances. “Okay. Maeve and Jess are gonna sort everyone out with the gear they need. You have 10 minutes to get into position. I’ll be around to make sure you’re all where you should be and to move you around if I think you need it. Don’t move once I put you somewhere. We can’t afford for anyone to leave their post and let Croats in behind them while they’re off somewhere else. Nobody shoots until you hear me shoot first . . . I don’t care what you see.” 

When they were positioned and ready, Dean signaled for the cabin to go dark and went to his spot next to Adam. “Hey, I need you up in that tree on the other side of the fence.” Adam turned to ask why, but having gotten used to the way Adam worked, Dean already had his explanation ready. “I need eyes up there. Use those night vision binoculars you begged me to get you. Let me know when you see the croats, and signal down how many there are, if they’ll be hitting in waves, how far away they are, and what direction they’re heading. Wait until my mark before you shoot. They need to be close enough that we can get most of them down before they have a chance to move around us because of the holes in our defense.” Adam gave him a quick not to let him know he understood. 

Dean trusted him enough to do this, and Adam trusted Dean to take out any croats before they got too close. They both knew it was also a way for Dean to keep him in sight and off the ground, a way to keep him a little safer, while still letting him be a part of the front line. It was a step forward for both in being able to work together better as a team.

While he was waiting for Adam’s signal, Dean briefly tried to find Beth. She still hadn’t stopped, but she was in Indiana. He could have definitely caught up with her if this hadn’t come up. She was okay for now. Him getting killed would do more harm to her than anything else. The last thing she needed was to pass out and get stuck in limbo in the middle of a hot zone, so he forced himself to concentrate on the here and now and watched as Adam gave his signal that the croats were approaching.

 _90?! 90?!_ Adam turned back to nod that the count was right before he stuck his thumb up to indicate there were maybe more than that, because there were stragglers behind the first wave. The croats were heading from northeast to southwest, so at least that was right, and as of right now, they were out about 100 yards . . . 90 yards . . . 80 . . . At 50 yards, Dean could see the first croats starting to come through the trees and kept his AK-47 on semi-automatic. He found one in the front that he wanted and waited until it was about 20 yards away before he took his shot. That was close enough. Immediately after hitting his target, Adam follow suit as Dean lined up his next shot and took another one down. The croats were picking up their pace now, but he got 3 more headshots before he had to put more focus on his brother when the croats got to his tree. 

He heard Bobby and Rufus start responding to the threat first, which meant the croats were moving to the north side of the camp, but half a minute later the people with guns on the east got their chance. Dean took out 11 before they got to the barbed wire fence and switched to fully automatic to take out the 3 right in front of him as they got entangled in the fence. He had to keep his line of sight to Adam clear. The kid was doing alright, but there were a couple too close to the tree for Dean’s liking, so he helped Adam out by getting rid of them before turning to hit 2 more that were crawling over the fence to his right. 

He heard shots along the west start to ring out around then. Judging by the lack of sound coming from the south, the croats hadn’t gotten past the guns along the east yet, but they might soon. He wondered how many were left as he downed 2 more in front of him and then one that had started to climb Adam’s tree. The numbers here were starting to dwindle as more of the Croats moved around to the sides. Between he and Adam, they’d probably gotten 35-40. _Not bad._ He heard more shots being fired along the northwest and then the shooting stopped all at once around the camp. This wasn’t over. They were regrouping. 

“Adam, fall back!” Adam started climbing down without hesitation at the order. It was then that Dean’s eyes caught movement in the trees to his right and saw a croat jumping from tree to tree, and then another and another, like a fucking troop of monkeys, trying to get close enough to go over the fence. There were a few that were way too close to Adam, who was still scrambling to get down, so Dean yelled loud enough to give Rufus and Deacon a heads up. “They’re in the trees!” Then he had to focus on covering Adam, first by killing the closest threat to Adam as Adam jumped down, and then by putting down 3 more before they could leap onto Adam as he ran towards the fence. 

Dean heard Rufus shouting for Bobby to keep an eye on the trees and Deacon doing the same along his side before the same shouts went around the camp, like a game of telephone, to alert the next person protecting the perimeter. Dean turned to his left just as another Croat ran at the fence from the ground and dispatched of it quickly before resuming his cover of Adam until his brother got back behind the fence. 

Their runner, Connor, finally got there, and Dean told him they didn’t need anything other than for him to make sure the people on the far side of the camp had heard that the Croats were trying to breach the fence from above. Connor turned just as Adam opened fire on a Croat to their right, and that’s when they heard someone from the western side of the camp shout that there were Croats inside the defenses. _Sonofabitch!_ Dean looked at Adam and Adam nodded for him to go check it out before Dean yelled, “Everyone stay where you are! I’ve got it,” and sprinted to the other side of the camp.

When he got there, he saw the retired game hunter . . . what was his name again . . . struggling on the ground under one of the Croats and another two running towards the man. Dean took aim at the one on the man first and killed it before moving on to the others. There were a few more he had to kill outside the fence that got too close, but after that, things got quiet again. Finding no more in the area, he cautiously approached the older man to make sure he was okay. 

The man breathed out a sigh of relief and chuckled heartily when Dean helped him push the Croat off before offering him a hand up. “You hurt? Did it get you?” Dean pointed at the man’s shoulder where there was blood on the coat. The old man shook his head no and laughed again. “No, but it was close. I think that’s its blood.” Dean nodded to the man briefly to let the man think he was gonna leave it at that. He didn’t have time just then to check if the skin had been broken, but he wasn’t leaving this guy out of his sight until he had a chance to get him to quarantine, and even then Dean was going to be the one to watch him and make the call. _Stan. That’s his name._

After the Croats stopped coming, Dean told Bobby and Rufus and Yuri and Ivan to go out in two teams to make sure there weren’t anymore in the area. Everyone else maintained their posts. Dean felt confident all of them could do what needed to be done after having seen them in action. He heard a couple of shots outside the perimeter coming from either Bobby or Yuri’s team, but when he didn’t hear anything else for another couple of minutes, Dean put on a grin and turned towards Stan. “I sure could use a drink. How about you?” 

Stan nodded, but kept his attention glued to what was going on outside the fence, so Dean clapped him on the shoulder to get his attention in a friendly manner and indicated they should head towards the cabin. “I think they can handle it from here. So, you’re a retired what? Carpenter?” Out of the corner of his eye, Dean saw Stephen approaching and made a subtle signal for him to grab Stan from behind now that the older man was more at ease and not quite so trigger-happy. Stephen hesitated until he saw the blood on Stan’s jacket and understood what Dean wanted. Stephen might be a dick, but he wasn’t an idiot, and he was a hunter first, so he didn’t waste anymore of their time before restraining Stan, so Dean could disarm Stan without hurting him. 

“Sorry, Stan. I’ll get ya that drink, but you’re gonna have to have it in quarantine.” Dean regretfully helped Stephen take the now struggling retired game hunter away. Once they’d locked the guy up, Dean asked Stephen to bring out one of the many bottles of whiskey he’d scored on his supply run. With all the hunters that were here now, it was something they’d need to get more of in the future, but what they had now would last for a while. When Stephen got back, Dean gave Stan a glass, filled it to the top, and kept the bottle to drink from himself as he moved to sit on the ground outside of the makeshift cage.

Dean talked with Stan about his job before he retired and his family. Stan was a widower and had a son that died in a car accident years ago on his way home from college after telling he and his wife he had news for them. Turns out the kid had gotten engaged and was coming home to introduce them to the girl he’d been with the last year or two of college. They hadn’t met her yet, but they’d talked to her over the phone. Stan always thought she sounded like a sweet girl, but they never got a chance to meet her, because she died in the accident too. The loss of their only child had taken a toll on Stan’s wife, and she died of a heart attack a few years later. Stan never re-married, and kept working his 9-5 until he had enough to save up and buy his place up here. He’d always brought his family up here for the summer holidays when his son was little, and it made him feel closer to them being here. Even people in normal lives had tragedy and dealt with it by throwing themselves into their job when they had nothin’ else. 

Rufus came over to them a couple of hours later and said the area was clear, so Dean told him to take people out in teams to clear up the bodies. One team could do the manual labor of moving the corpses into a pile and burn them, while the other team could watch their backs. He wanted nothin’ left of the bodies, and he didn’t want anyone messin’ around in the ashes, so he told Rufus to cover the ashes over with his digger after the fire died down. Tomorrow, they wouldn’t have the protection of the night to conceal their location, and since Chuck didn’t know how to fucking count, they had no idea how many there were gonna be. If they still wanted to try and catch the croats by surprise in the daylight, they needed to get rid of the bodies and the smell of the fire long before the next batch of croats arrived, and they didn’t have a whole lot of time to get it done. 

After Rufus walked away, Dean went back to sit across from Stan again. He’d actually liked talking to the guy. This time when Dean sat down, the old man acted the same, and still kept talking with him about his life, but it was the look in his eyes that let Dean know he was turning.


	8. A Redefining Moment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is very gruesome in places.

“So . . . are you hungry or thirsty? Or tired? Need to pull over and go to the bathroom?” I was trying to take my mind off of the fact that we were just northwest of Rockford, Illinois on highway 26 and wouldn’t be able to get much further without the car running out of fuel. I had coaxed the poor thing this far, for which I was grateful, but it wouldn’t get us more than maybe another 10 miles before we ran out of gas. I hadn’t stopped to fill up along the way. 

The electricity was out in most places, which meant that the pumps for the gas stations had to be out. If any of them were working, I also figured that gas stations were prime places for normal people to either try to rob cars or for Croats to hang out, because people stopping for gas were easy targets . . . stopping for gas was riskier than running out of gas on a quiet backroad in the middle of nowhere where we could walk without being noticed until we found another car to steal or just kept walking all the way home undetected. 

Now I understood why Ben’s mom hadn’t wanted to take him out of their house if they hadn’t had problems in all that time. Looking after a kid, even a well behaved one . . . it made you more acutely aware of the potential danger to them, and he wasn’t even mine.

“I’m not tired. And I don’t have to go to the bathroom. I’m not a little kid. ” 

“What about food?” I sighed kind of wishing I hadn’t started this conversation. 

“I don’t want anything from you . . . You’re not my Mom –“ 

I laughed. Maybe I shouldn’t have, because I didn’t know kids could give death glares until then. “Sorry. I don’t think anyone’s ever accused me of trying to be a Mom until now. I am so not Mom material. I’m not very good with kids, or I don’t think I am . . . I’ve never really thought about it. I guess the kids at the camp are the only ones I’ve seen for more than a few minutes at a time, and they’re mostly scared of me, because I looked like a giant black and blue and then green and brown monster until a week or so ago . . . unless you mean by Mom that I am trying to be a decent human being and make sure you have food and water or that I’m old? Is that it? Because I’m not that old, or I don’t feel like it . . . I guess maybe to you I might seem like it, but I’m not.” 

He rolled his eyes. “You’re right. You’re not good with kids. You talk too much, and you’re dumb.” _Uhhhh._

“Pretty sure that’s the most I’ve said since we’ve been on the road. I can say less than that if you want. Doesn’t matter to me. You’re sure you don’t want any food, because –“ 

“I. Don’t. Want. Anything. It’s why my Mom left. Stop asking me.” 

_So, the apples in my bag and the holy water I was going to give you are out?_ I hadn’t planned on stopping for food any more than I had planned on stopping for gas, but that explained why his mom had tried to leave a place where they’d been safely hidden for all this time. She should’ve called ‘Rachel’ a lot sooner or Dean . . . maybe not Sam, but maybe she didn’t know any of them were alive with everything that was going on, or maybe she’d tried Sam, and he hadn’t answered, or maybe the real reason she’d gone out wasn’t necessarily to just get food. 

“Hey, Ben? When did you get the sat phone? Was it before or after your Mom got attacked by your neighbor?” He looked out the window and didn’t answer me. “Because if it was after that, then I’d say she went out to find a phone more than she did to get you food.” He obviously felt guilty about his Mom going out to do something for him and was blaming himself for her death . . . It wasn’t his fault, but I knew he wouldn’t think of it that way. Maybe if I let him know she’d gone out to look for a way to call for help and not just for the food, he could stop beating himself up over it some? Probably not, but maybe?

I got nothing else out of him after that. I guess I could say less to him if that’s what he wanted. My attention returned to the road and our predicament. We couldn’t stop here. It wrecked my plans of running out of gas in the middle of nowhere and far away from other humans or Croats. Rockford was too big, and we were still close enough to the disaster zone that was Chicago to make me nervous. 

_Croats might be territorial, but I have the feeling they’re territorial to the place where they turned . . . Why? . . . Well, how many Croats are driving around the country right now trying to get back home? . . . None that I’ve seen, and they can drive, or they wouldn’t have been able to set up those roadblocks in Cicero . . . Okay, so maybe they pull over when they turn into Croats and hang out near there until a demon directs them where to go._

I wanted to learn more about them and wondered what the ethical concerns of running sociology experiments on them was. _I could pick one up and drop it off in a different state to see what happens . . . Maybe not right now. Wait until after you get Ben back to the camp._ For now my Croat Turning Territory Hypothesis was just that, a hypothesis, but it’s all I had. 

If I was right, it meant there were too many infected Chicagoans that could’ve made the final turn near here. If we had to walk the rest of the way, we’d have to go around Madison to the west, because I didn’t want to deal with the croat run off from Milwaukee to its east. It would mean adding another day or two to our hike, and he was a little kid despite what he thought, so that meant we’d be slower than if I was walking on my own, and if we didn’t find another vehicle, it would take at least a week to get back if we could only walk at night . . . I slowed the car down to 20 mph, so I could milk it for everything it had by burning less fuel at that speed. 

We just eked our way across the border into Wisconsin when the car finally died on us, and as luck would have it, we were in a completely isolated part of the country. I was prepared for this, so I wasn’t worried. I grabbed my bags from the back, checked that my gun was loaded and opened my door. “Come on. Looks like we’re walking until we find somewhere to stay or another car.” 

When he still refused to get out of the car after 10 minutes of me trying to be nice, I went around the car, opened his door, and physically removed him from the vehicle. After he was out, he sat on the ground. Carrying him seemed like the best option if he wouldn’t move on his own, so I wrapped my arms under his, like a safety harness and lifted. He didn’t kick or scream, but he did make it a pain in the ass for me to move him. I tried to heft him forward step-by-step, but he slumped down so that I had to take all of his dead weight on top of the weight I was carrying from my weapons bag across my shoulder. Maybe he wasn’t such a little kid.

After 30 feet of me struggling with his silent protest, I put him down on the ground to catch my breath and ease the ache in my ribs. “I get it, Ben. I know the letter and that car are the last two things you have of your Mom, but we have to leave the car behind. We can’t stay here. It wouldn’t be safe.” I got nothing in response. “I didn’t know your mom so maybe you can tell me if she would want you to be out here acting like this, or if she would want you to do everything you could to be brave and try to get somewhere safe with someone who can help you.” He sat there for a minute before looking at his feet. “Okay. Suit yourself. It’s your choice if you want to stay, but I’m not waiting around anymore.” 

I was obviously bluffing or using reverse psychology, but apparently the kid didn’t play poker yet, because after I took my first 15 steps away from him without looking back, I heard him get up to start following me. He still stayed a good 5 feet behind me, but at least he was moving. I didn’t tell him that I’d been about to go back and try the carrying thing again or maybe just dragging him. This worked, so why tell him he would’ve called my bluff in the next 5 paces?

We walked until it was bright enough that I felt like we should stop. It was almost 9 in the morning, so we’d been on our journey by foot for about 4 hours. I found an old farm not too far off the road and found a place to hide Ben outside in the bushes while I went in and cleared the house. When I was sure we were alone, I went back out and got him before searching through the cupboards to find him something to eat and lucked out with a lone tin of potato soup I could heat up on the gas hob. There was a quarter of a package of stale crackers he could have too. He actually ate the soup and an apple when I put them in front of him even though he still wasn’t talking to me, and I went to the windows to keep watch until he was done. Then we went out to the barn, so he could sleep. We could’ve stayed in the house, but if there were intruders, I thought they’d be less likely to inspect the barn first, and we’d have a chance to get out of there without them noticing, while they were in the house. There weren’t any cars or trucks here, so it meant the people had escaped to parts unknown and that we’d have to keep walking when we left at twilight. 

I stayed awake to keep watch, and he slept in some musty old horse blankets I’d found in the corner and had banged against the wall to get some of the dust out. I didn’t need the sleep. I wasn’t tired at all. Maybe it was because I was solely responsible for him until I got him back to the camp. It was pretty dull just waiting around for dusk. Good thing it was fall and the days were getting shorter. It meant we’d have longer to move in the night, and maybe we could get further faster than I’d thought. 

The only problem with my optimistic thinking was that he was a kid, and I didn’t think about how tiring walking all night would be for him. After we left that night, we only got about 5 hours away before it looked like he might need a much longer break than the 10 or so minutes I’d been giving him every hour. I asked if he wanted a piggyback ride to give his feet a rest. He almost thought about talking to me, but in the end just gave a nod, so I knelt down and let him climb on before readjusting him and moving forward. It was a lot easier than trying to carry him earlier had been, but still slowed us down. 

We were making our way around the west of Madison near Mt. Hoeb an hour later and things had been going pretty smoothly. We hadn’t come across any Croats, and all was silent around us, which is what made the screech that pierced through the night all the more unsettling. 

I quickly put Ben down and grabbed his hand after I pulled my handgun and flicked the safety off. That’s roughly when I heard the wail again, so I went to pull Ben with me towards the sound, and he pulled back on my hand to stop me. I needed him to work with me on this, so I leaned down to be at his eye level and whispered, “Ben, we have to check it out. I don’t know if it was human or a monster. If it was human, I have to help them. If it was a monster, I don’t want whatever it is to follow us now that we’re on foot. I’m not leaving you here alone in the middle of the road in the dark, so you have to come with me. I may not be good with kids, but I am good at this. I promise no harm will come to you.” He nodded warily, so I stood and carried on with my mission while still holding his hand.

We walked along a lane way as the screams continued to lead us in the right direction and got off of the lane way when we got closer to where the screams originated, so we wouldn’t be spotted. After heading through some brush and past some small trees, we came to a little clearing about 200 yards off the road. 

The clearing opened up onto the back of a farmhouse and a barn. I had a good look in the barn, and it was empty, but as I exited out one of the side doors of the barn, I noticed there were candles in one of the windows at the front of the house, and that’s when I heard a bloodcurdling scream. Being this close to it, I thought it sounded human in a way I hadn’t when we were on the road. I couldn’t leave whoever was in there alone without trying to help them. That scream had been the loudest one yet, and it’d been cut off abruptly . . . whoever was in there wasn’t alone. 

I put Ben in the shadows of an old tire that was resting against the side of the barn and told him to stay there until I came back. There was no option but for me to come back. He needed me to get him to the camp, so I had to be cautious and make sure that I did this right. I used the cover of a few trees along the fence line to do a silent walk around. When I was done, I was sure that Ben and I were alone outside. Maybe there was only one of whatever was in there attacking the woman.

I checked my magazine and made sure it was fully loaded. Then I took a final look towards the barn to reassure myself that Ben was still hidden. He was. _You’ve got this. Just remember that you have to come back for his sake._ I crouched down and silently moved towards the window with candles. Just before I got to the porch, the wind unexpectedly picked up enough that I missed my step onto the porch and was pushed back a couple of feet. _What the hell is going on here? Freaky weather, women screaming_ . . . I had to find out, so I fought against the wind. 

By that point the whole house was creaking and moaning . . . it would’ve seemed like a storm was rolling in fast, but whatever was in there wouldn’t have heard me on the creaky floorboards of the porch. When I got to my target window, I checked on Ben again and couldn’t see him from where I was, so I knew he was still hidden and fine. It was now or never, so I rose to have a look inside . . . just a few seconds. That’s all it took, and those few seconds changed something in me forever. 

I popped my head back down below the windowsill and rested it against the house as I reigned in the righteous fury that was threatening to break free. I needed to handle this rationally, and for me total rationality comes with a complete deadening of my emotions. Time slowed, and I knew what I had to do. Passing judgement on those involved, I let my ruling fuel me into action, because it was just and had to be carried out. I turned in my crouch and stood in a single fluid movement before walking with purpose towards the rickety front door, a few steps in front of me and to the right. I was calm. There was no hesitation. I only stopped as the wind died down, so I could turn to face the door as I kicked it open with my gun drawn. I was ready for anything that came for me on the other side.

I saw movement to my left and pivoted towards it before taking the figure coming down the stairs out with a single shot to the head. Before it had even tumbled down the remaining stairs, I saw two more burly things at least a foot taller than me and three times my weight bolting towards me from the right as they came from the room I had spied into 20 seconds prior to that. There was no chance at redemption for them, so I shot the first one in the heart before rapidly aiming for the head of the one behind it. 

Usually, I preferred to go with pulling the trigger rather than close contact fighting and used my blade when it was an angel or demon or some monster I didn’t know how to kill, because I knew the blade would work on just about anything, but when I crossed into the room I wanted and saw the last two monsters, I’d already decided that a less kind sentence would be carried out for these two. They would not be receiving death by bullet, so I re-holstered my gun, slid my angel blade out from its sheath strapped to my thigh and motioned for the one on my right to make its move before easily dodging it and using my blade to slice completely through its side as it passed by me. It stopped moving, and I kicked back into its right knee to drop it. By the time it landed to the floor on its knees, I’d spun in a half pirouette on the ball of my left foot and fluidly brought my blade down through the top of it’s head. 

I kicked it’s twitching body away in disgust as I pulled up to retrieve my weapon and watched the last monster standing while I absentmindedly twirled my blade in my hand. This dickhead was definitely the ringleader from what I could tell when I was outside. It had a gun, but it was frightened, and therefore not aware of its surroundings. When it slid in the slick pool of blood behind it, I seized the opportunity to gut it using my blade. It didn’t have time to process the shock of its intestines falling onto the floor, because I reversed the swing, twirled my blade around, and impaled it through the neck, making it fall to its knees in front of me. I leaned closer to look it in the eye while I told it why it was dying, and then quickly pulled my blade forward, so it was mostly decapitated. 

With the last one down, I finally made my way over to the two victims restrained in chairs on the far side of the room and knelt on the ground in front of them. “My name is Beth, and I’m sorry if I scared you, but those monsters won’t hurt you anymore. Are there any more?” 

The eldest of the two tow-haired children, who was maybe 8, looked at me with the most . . . hollow-eyes I’d ever witnessed, be it in an adult or a child and quietly answered, “No.” I told her what I was going to do before I did it, so I would seem less threatening after what they’d just seen me do. Then I asked if what I was planning to do was okay, and she hollowly answered, “Yes.” 

I cut the ropes around her wrists and ankles and removed the extra bindings from around her head. After that, I moved onto her younger brother who looked just like her but was only about 6 and did the same for him. They were bruised and battered and had cuts up and down their legs and arms. I glanced at the form that had been tied to the table in front of them, as I moved to block their view when we walked by it. It was what used to be their mother judging by the hair. I couldn’t really identify any features of her face anymore, and it was clear that a beating bad enough to permanently disfigure her face hadn’t been all she endured as body parts and organs were missing and lying around the table next to her. 

They’d vivisected her . . . Her blood was still trickling down off the table and pooling onto the floor, and I felt it satisfying on her behalf to know that her blood had partially been responsible for the last monster dying. But it didn’t change the fact that I had been too late. She was dead. I knew there wasn’t anything I could’ve done for her if I’d gotten here even 10-15 minutes earlier except maybe I could’ve held her hand and let her know I’d take care of her children and that not everything in the world was completely evil. 

The last scream I’d heard outside by the barn must’ve been her last, and her children . . . they’d been physically restrained in such a way that they had to watch every last thing that’d been done to her. The rope burns on their forhead showed they’d tried to look away, but they’d been tied too tight, so the only way they could’ve missed any of it was to close their eyes. Judging from what I saw outside the window, they were beaten or cut when they did that, and looking at how many cuts and bruises, they had, they’d tried to do that a lot. Their lives were ruined. 

While the children stood by the door, I wiped the blood off my blade onto the shirt of the dead thing by the stairs. _Maybe you should clean yourself up a bit. You’ve got blood all over you._ I tried to wipe the blood off my hands, but it was pointless. It was all over the front of my jacket and sleeves. When I walked onto the porch with them, I called for Ben and asked him to come help me with them. I had to go back inside the house to see if I could find any useful supplies. When I got done doing that and came back onto the porch, the seriousness of the situation stood out to me a little more. 

The two little kids were in pretty bad shape, and I didn’t know how I was going to get them back to the cabin if I’d been struggling with Ben so far. There weren’t any cars around here. At least I hadn’t seen any on my walk around. We should get going and stop at the next house for the night . . . maybe for a couple of days until they were okay enough to walk again. I had to get them cleaned up, and some of those cuts would need stitches. I hoped they didn’t get any infections, but who knew how long this had been going on. Maybe they already had them. 

I knelt down in front of them again to be closer to their height. “How about we get out of here? I’ll take you somewhere safe.” The kids nodded in unison, so I asked them their names . . .Tamara and Jimmy. I asked if it was okay if I carried Jimmy and if Tamara could hold hands with Ben, so we could all stick together. They nodded again, and as I rose with Jimmy in my arms, I saw lights come towards us down the road before they turned into the front drive of the house . . . we didn’t have much time to find somewhere to hide, so I held Jimmy close and told Ben and Tamara to run with me as we made our way to the shrubs along the tree line. We got there just before a pair of figures came around the side of the house and walked towards the door we’d just exited. 

I didn’t know if they’d seen us, so I quickly put Jimmy down to free up my hands and kept my gun trained on the figures. “Cover your ears and stay behind me.” The figures went into the house, and I could see their shadows glide past the window with the candles. There was a free car right there for the taking. I picked Jimmy back up, told Ben to keep up with Tamara, and was running to the car when I heard someone shout, “Beth!”


	9. Questioning Morality in a New World

The last couple of days had been more than trying. After he’d had to kill Stan, who wasn’t a bad guy until he started to turn, Dean had to lock down everything he was feeling about that man’s death and start preparing for the next round of Croats heading their way. It hadn’t been as bad as the first group of Croats. Chuck had been closer on the numbers the second time. There’d been maybe 30 or 40, but in the daylight it had taken longer to get rid of them all, because they’d been able to scatter faster. 

As soon as Chuck gave them the all clear as far as croats were concerned, Dean gave his orders to Bobby about what he wanted done while he was away and jumped in the car with Adam to go get Beth. He’d known when she was in Cicero. She’d stayed there for about 30 minutes before flying back north for a good 30 minutes. She’d slowed down the further away from the hot zone she got and had been moving towards them at a snail’s pace since this morning, which meant she was probably on foot. Dean decided to go pick her up. He tracked her to an old farmhouse where she’d been for the last 20 minutes, so when he pulled in, he was thinking that she’d decided to stop here for the rest of the night, because she’d already walked a good distance today.

It wasn’t until he and Adam had gotten to the front door and saw that it was standing wide open that he knew something was wrong. She always made sure that a place where she was staying was secure, especially when she was on her own. It made him automatically pull his gun, and Adam followed his lead a second later. Entering the house, Dean took point and saw a body on the floor over by the stairs. There were two more in the entryway to the room next door, so he indicated for Adam to go check on the one by the stairs, while he checked the two on the right. They were both dead. Moving into the room on the right, Dean saw one body on the floor to his right that had been nearly cut in half. 

The guy on the left looked worse. He was almost missing a head, but Dean barely glanced at him as his attention was drawn to the dead woman lying prone on the table behind that guy. What had been done to her was worse than most of the victims they’d come across in their hunts. Dean saw two chairs with rope dangling off of them where other victims had been tied. Whatever had gone down here had been bad. If whoever was involved in this took Beth . . . she hadn’t been hurt yet, or he’d know, so he still had time. He didn’t care whether or not they were alone in the house as he called her name trying to find her. 

When he heard her echo his name from outside, Dean briefly exhaled in relief. She was in the house a few seconds later, and Dean went to wrap his arms around her. He didn’t even care if she was covered in blood. He needed to know she was really there . . . the weight of the worry he’d been carrying without acknowledging it for the last few days, weeks, month . . . the worry that had culminated in near panic a minute ago . . . it just slid away. He held onto her tightly for at least a minute before she stepped back and took his hand to pull him with her to the front door. “Come on. There are some people out here I want you to meet.” 

When they got down the steps of the porch, the first thing Dean noticed was Ben. He was a lot bigger than the last time Dean saw him. Dean liked that kid. Hell, he even thought Ben might have been his at one time and wouldn’t have minded. His thoughts turned to Lisa, Ben’s mom, and he felt guilt at not having been there to help her when this all kicked off. His mind had been on other things, and he’d just forgotten to go get her or even call. There were so many others out there that had to have ended up the same way. He’d saved them on hunts only for them to be turned into Croats now, his life’s work down the drain. 

Beth kneeled in front of the two smaller kids standing with Ben. “Dean, I think you probably know Ben if Rachel did, and this is Tamara and her little brother Jimmy.” Dean crouched down beside Beth to get a better look at the smaller kids and just knew they were the children of the woman inside. When he saw how beaten they looked and the rope burns on their foreheads and wrists, he made the connection that they had been the ones in the chairs and had been forced to watch what happened to their mom. Everything they’d found in that house made sense now. 

“Hey, I’m Dean. This is my brother Adam. We’re gonna take you some place safe. When we get there, Beth’ll take a look at some of those cuts and get you cleaned up. We’ve got food and beds. That sound alright?” The two blonde children looked to Ben for their answer, and Ben watched Dean for a few moments before looking at Beth. She gave Ben a subtle nod, so Ben said that was okay as long as Dean carried the smaller kids to the car, because they needed help getting there. Looked like Ben was taking responsibility for these two kids. It was a good sign that after everything the kid had been through, Ben still had it in him to do that. After that Ben asked Beth to sit in the back with them, while Dean and Adam dowsed the bodies in the house with salt and burnt the house down. Maybe they could prevent at least one supernatural thing from happening. 

They’d been driving for a couple of hours when Adam finally decided to say something. “I didn’t think we killed people.” Dean looked through the rearview mirror at Beth. She was asleep in the middle with all three of the kids huddled up to her as close as they could get while they slept too. The contrast between the blood she was still wearing that proved how brutal she’d been in that house and how gentle she looked with those kids now was hard to ignore. She knew the difference between right and wrong. He didn’t doubt her for a second.  
None of them in the back had heard what Adam had said, and to keep it that way, Dean didn’t respond in any way other than to glance at Adam. “You don’t think she’s –“ 

Dean snorted and had to stop him there. “Turning? No. Beth handed out her sentence the same way she always has. She just took it to the next level this time . . . and she did the world a favor.” It was clear that Adam wasn’t buying it because of the angel blade business on the last two. It might’ve been overkill when she could have done it more cleanly with her gun, but it was still faster than those men deserved, and Dean felt like he had to defend her. “We’ve always been the judge, jury, and executioner for monsters and were hands off on people, because there were cops and courts and prisons for them. This is a new world, and we don’t have those anymore, so as far as I’m concerned those guys back there were monsters that got what was coming to ‘em.” 

Adam looked like he was going to argue that, so Dean stopped him. “You saw what they did to that woman. They wouldn’t have stopped until those kids ended up the way their mom did. What was Beth supposed to do? Keep on goin’ and leave the kids behind? Ask those dickheads if they wouldn’t mind sitting there until she could tie them up and bring them back to camp in a chain gang? What happens when she somehow gets 5 cold-blooded murderers that are all 2-3 times her size to come back to camp and stand their fair trial? Do they get lawyers? Do we put them up in our quarantine, have a guard standing watch over them 24/7 for a life sentence, hope they don’t break out since nothing we have could hold guys like that for long, and give them the camp’s food when we barely have enough for the people who deserve it? Or was Beth supposed to kneecap ‘em and leave them there to survive and do it to someone else on down the road?” 

Adam looked like he got it, but Dean found himself getting more pissed off and wasn’t done yet. “We’re tryin’ to save the humans that are left, and what those men did was take a woman who was strong enough to survive the outbreak for this long with two small kids, and they mutilated her for kicks. She could’ve been another one we saved. If Beth hadn’t done what she did, those ‘men’ would’ve kept on killing survivors, cause that was not their first rodeo . . . and what those monsters did to that woman looked exactly like somethin’ you’d see in Hell, so tell me what makes them any better than the demons we kill just because they hadn’t gotten to Hell yet?” 

Things were quiet for a few miles until Dean spoke up again. “It doesn’t mean we’re changing the way we do things. We aren’t going to kill people just because they want to survive by trying to take things off of us by force or who attack us because they’re scared. I mean in this case and any other cases like it where there are victims that we have to save no matter what the threat to them is, and that includes any future victims guys like that might come across in the future.” Some day they’d have a legal justice system for humans again, but right now they didn’t even have the first bricks laid on the wall or any cabins built for the people they had, and he wasn’t going let survival of the fittest mean that everyone else was going to die out in favor of dickheads, like the ones Beth took down tonight.

Adam rolled his eyes. “I get it. She did what she had to do. It just looked like she enjoyed it more than she should have.” _Enjoyed it?_ If it was the right thing to do, Beth made sure it got done, but she never enjoyed killing, and on this . . . she’d been pretty clinical about it even with the angel blade. 

“For someone who claims to be her favorite hunting partner, you don’t get the way she hunts at all. She didn’t let herself feel anything from the time she went in until she killed the last one. It’s just the last two were the ones actually doing something to the kids when she got there, and the one on the floor by the mother was the one in charge. I told you it was one of her sentences. The one in charge always gets the worst punishment.” 

He didn’t know if anything he said made a difference to Adam. Mostly, he just thought that this whole thing highlighted something he hadn’t really thought about. Monsters, angels and demons weren’t the only thing they had to worry about now. Desperate or hardened criminals were a problem he’d already encountered, but the true human monsters that were out there . . . the ones that got off on this kind of thing and looked like anyone else. They were a real problem he didn’t know how to handle. He’d run into them as a hunter, but they weren’t exactly his area of expertise.


	10. Signing on the Dotted Line

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one has a pretty graphic sex scene it. I've marked where it starts and when it's finished in bold letters, so people can choose not to read if they want.

When they got back to the cabin, Beth took the brother and sister with her to get them cleaned up and give them stitches if they needed them. They’d probably never be quite right again, but then none of the kids around here would be. Around here orphans and childhood trauma were the new normal. 

Jody was around to take Tamara and Jimmy off Beth’s hands when she was done and got them food and a place to sleep. It looked like the Sheriff was going to take them under her wing after Adam filled her in on what’d happened to the kids. Jody’d asked what happened to the men who’d done it, and Adam had told her that Beth had taken care of it. Jody had wanted to know what that meant, and after Adam confirmed that they were dead, Jody relaxed before saying that was good . . . said it was defense of others as far as she was concerned, and Dean thought maybe it wouldn’t be a bad idea to set up that legal system for the camp with Jody taking the lead, since she knew the old laws and seemed fair in her judgements. Course nobody like those men would be coming to the camp, but it wouldn’t hurt to have a bit of order around here as they got more people. He’d talk to her about it later. 

Ben stayed glued to Dean’s side, and Beth looked a little lost now that her job with the kids was done, so she decided to go take a shower. While she was gone, Dean sat on the couch to clean his guns and listened to Ben talk about what’d happened with Lisa. The kid had been through a lot, and the guilt Ben felt for Lisa going out to get him food was eating Ben up inside. Ben didn’t have to say that for Dean to see it. “Beth said maybe Mom went out to get the phone . . . not the food, but . . . “ 

Dean knew that Beth had been trying to make Ben feel like it wasn’t his fault Lisa was dead, but he also knew that Ben would turn it around and say that Lisa only wanted the phone to get help for Ben, because they’d run out of food. None of it was Ben or Lisa’s fault, so Dean said he should’ve gone to get them long before Lisa needed to find a phone, and that he knew that him saying that wouldn’t change the way Ben was taking the blame for what happened, but it was true. He also said that he’d lost his Mom when he was a kid to let Ben know he understood were the kid was coming from if he ever wanted to talk about it. Ben went quiet, and Dean asked something he’d been wondering to change the subject. “Why’d you call Rachel anyway?” 

“We thought you were dead. Rachel told Mom that you were going to die and go to Hell before you guys left us, and nobody told us that you didn’t.” That explained why Ben had looked to Beth to make sure Dean checked out before giving his approval for the two little kids to go with him earlier. 

“Uh, yeah. I didn’t know she told your Mom that. She shouldn’t have. I didn’t want anyone to know. I did die, but I got brought back about 4 months later.” Maybe Lisa would’ve called sooner if she hadn’t thought he was dead. 

“So what happened to Rachel?” 

“Uh, Rachel died when I did, but she didn’t come back. We’ve got Beth now.” 

Ben nodded and looked at his hands. “Sorry about Rachel . . . What about Sam? I tried to call him too, but nobody answered.” 

Dean sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. That was enough questions for tonight. “You tired? Know where you’re sleeping?” Ben got it and stood to go to the section of the living room that Jody and Maeve had set up for the kids. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Dean. Tell Beth I said thanks. I may have given her a hard time coming here.” _Wonder what he did._

Dean nodded with a slight grin and said, “Night, Ben,” before he put the last gun away and got up to grab his bags and take them to the room. He needed sleep. He hadn’t slept in the last 48 hours. Maybe it would help clear his mind.

He walked through the door to the bedroom he always used when he was at the cabin, and everything looked exactly the same as it did when he left at Christmas. Beth’s bags were even in the same place. Compared to the rest of the house and the rest of the world that he didn’t recognize anymore, it was a shock to the system. It brought up the same bittersweet feelings he’d felt back then. He hadn’t had Sam, but he’d let himself accept that he loved Beth. 

Love was just a word, but one he’d never use. It was a word that never seemed big enough or could actually define what he felt for the people that meant the most to him, and it was a word that seemed like a curse, like saying it would mean the other person would leave or be taken from him or worse that they would feel the same, and it would cost them or that he would let them down . . . so he tried to show the people he loved what they meant to him through his actions. 

He should’ve known that there would be a price for allowing himself to feel that for her, a price for wanting something for himself . . . the price for that turned out to be Sam, because Sam wasn’t here just like he wasn’t here at Christmas, except this time he knew getting his brother back wouldn’t happen. Part of him had known that then, because the Sam he knew would’ve never murdered Jo, and there was no way to really get past that, but he’d hoped that maybe Cas got it wrong, and if he could get Sam to fess up to it and explain why he did it, they might have a shot. It never happened. If Sam started this to make things up to him and to give him the life they never had growing up, then Sam wasn’t stopping it for him. Who was he without Sam? Nobody.

Being in that room opened the floodgates on everything he’d been locking away. From slowly losing Sam until he was gone to his Dad coming back only for him to die again and Cas not being around anymore when they still needed him and this thing with the tablets and Beth being sold to Crowley right in front of him and the zombie Apocalypse that was killing the whole planet and knowing where the infected would all end up eventually and having to put down Stan, who’d been a good man, and knowing all the people he’d saved in his life as a hunter had probably been wiped out, just like Lisa, and knowing that there were more dickheads out there, like the ones Beth killed tonight, who represented what might be left of mankind if survival of the fittest took over and killed off all of the decent people that were left. 

He stood there for he didn’t know how long until he heard Beth say his name with concern from the doorway behind him. It reminded him that he wasn’t entirely alone, because she was still with him. He needed her, so he abruptly turned and pulled her to him without giving her time to say anything before his mouth collided with hers, demanding that her full attention be on this and not whatever she saw or felt him feeling when she’d been at the door.

He was tired of fighting it and tired of having to hide exactly what he felt for her from everyone including her. He needed to show her what she meant to him without expecting anything like that from her in return. 

Picking her up so she could wrap her legs around his waist, he continued the deep kiss and kicked the door shut behind them before carrying her to their bed and placing her on it more gently than his actions before might have indicated.

**In no time at all,** he had them out of their clothes and her lying beneath him, as he placed her hands above her head and let her know without saying it that he wanted her to keep them there, so she wouldn’t try to cover herself as he broke their kiss and sat back on his knees. He found her perfect in her imperfections now that he was taking the time to have a good look at everything put together as a whole. The small nicks and scars that were there . . . to him they told a story and made her his Beth. The marks that weren’t there and should have been told other stories . . . ones where she’d been healed, and her being healed had taken those injuries along with the all the scars she had at the time . . . that he knew how she got them and where they should have been added to his story with her.

Her breathing picked up while she watched him slowly explore her body first with his eyes and then with his hands. He lightly slid them from her calves up to the soft inside of her thighs before continuing up to her tattoos and sides while he relived memories of every part he encountered. When he reached her breasts, he allowed his thumbs to linger a few moments to slowly circle both with thoughts of previous times that he’d done the same. Her body’s reaction to his touch brought him back from his thoughts of her and their life together and made him look up at her. 

She knew he needed this and didn’t know why, but she would do this for him without question even if she weren’t used to the detailed focus on her, because she had complete trust in him. That trust she had in him made him want to skip over the rest to join their lips once again as he settled himself between her legs and allowed his hands to glide up along her arms to grasp her hands. 

Their bodies moved together in time to the rhythm of their tongues, and he could feel how aroused she was as he let himself slid just along the opening of where they both wanted him to be. He lingered there to build up the anticipation for both of them, and that mixed with her exhilarated breaths that matched his own was intoxicating and hard not to give into for long. 

When he did, he kept his hands pressed over hers while he entered her in an achingly slow thrust. With each deep movement he made, she moaned into his mouth and he needed more of that. He knew she wanted to keep it quiet, since they had a full house and nobody could know about them, but he could make this work for both of them. He altered their position slightly. The new one let him stimulate her at the front every time he moved in or out and freed up his hands, so he could keep them over hers, because having her hands pinned turned her on a lot. She started to lose control of being able to keep the volume down the faster he moved. His name on her lips is what he'd really wanted, and he got it several times before she reached her peak.

After he brought her there, he pulled them both up into a sitting position so she could straddle him. Rather than kiss, they met forehead to forehead while she wrapped her legs around him tightly. She rocked with a firm pressure against him, but kept it slow, and that intimacy was what he craved now, as he held her close. Bodies glistening and mouths only an inch apart, their breaths came out in shorter, more rapid bursts against one another’s lips with each hard, deliberate movement they made before he took her in a kiss once again and helped guide her while they picked up the speed of their movements together. The increase in momentum with the continued friction built up a tension in each that threatened to break free any second until she finally climaxed causing him to be pulled along with her this time. Instead of ending things, he rolled her over onto her back to keep them going until he was ready again, because he didn’t want it to be over.

**He didn’t** know how she felt about him. He didn’t even know if she could feel anything like that until her soul was fixed or if she would feel anything for him if her soul was at 100%, but it didn’t matter. He’d take what he could get for as long as he could. She couldn’t really be his until he made up his mind one-way or the other on whether their connection was better or worse for her, but his mind was made up on what it meant for him.


	11. Bad Goodbyes

The next morning I was running late on getting started for the day, and since I was planning on going on my own supply run now that Dean was back, I needed to put a move on. I didn’t want to go, because I had the feeling that Sam not being here was taking a toll on Dean now that he didn’t have the distraction of being out on the road, but I had to do it. Using my first aid kit to fix up Tamara and Jimmy the night before had driven home the fact that those supplies wouldn’t last forever, and the more people we had, the more of those kinds of supplies we would need. 

What we were getting from the small shops, pharmacies, and supermarkets around here wasn’t enough. We weren’t even close to being prepared for more serious medical issues, and we had to be, because who knew what sorts of injuries people would have in the future either on the road or once they got here. We also didn’t have any sort of a lab set up for blood work or being able to make our own medications, like antibiotics, that would eventually run out . . . even current stocks in the hospitals would run past their expiration dates some day. 

We needed medical supplies almost as much as we needed the guns. Dean was in charge of defense. I could be in charge of that . . . I just had to run it by him first. I wasn’t asking for permission. I was still going to go, but I wanted to show him that I respected him enough to include him on my decisions the way I hoped he did with me. I never used to do that, but things were different now than when we’d been hunting. The world was a much darker place, and we needed to be a team, and neither of us could just take off and do whatever we wanted the way we had then. By we, of course I mean me . . . Having said that, I still wasn’t sorry about taking off on my own to get Ben, and Dean hadn’t asked me to be. 

I’d hold off on telling him my self-appointed mission until he woke up. I don’t think he’d slept much since before he and Sam went to kill Lucifer, and I knew he hadn’t gotten much last night with our all-night session. If he was going to assume his leadership role at the camp now that he was back, he needed to sleep while he could. It may have been easy, but it took a lot of time organizing and running the separate groups around here, and I knew he was hands on and would want to be out there working on the wall too . . . I’d help him with both when I got back unless he was going to go out on his next supply run when I got back, and then we’d do the runs as a tag team effort . . . if he wanted to do it that way. That was something we could decide together. 

I was drawn from my thoughts as Chuck explained his vision about the Croats from a few days ago to Bobby and Stephen at the kitchen table. “So, do you have any idea why the Croats are migrating south? Is it for the winter or permanently, because either way could be bad.” 

Chuck took his time answering that. “I think it’s for the winter, but I couldn’t say for sure.” 

Dean lumbered up behind my chair, while I answered Stephen, who’d asked why either was bad if it meant the croats would be gone. “Well, either way, it changes what we know about the current hot zones . . . But also from what I could tell, when they don’t have demons controlling them, they seem to be naturally territorial to where they were when they made their final turn from human to croat. If they’re moving en masse like this, and it’s for the winter, maybe it’s because they know something about this upcoming winter that we don’t; as in it’s going to be bad. We aren’t prepared for that on the food front. Also, that wall has to go up, and it’ll be a lot harder to do in the snow . . . On the other hand, if it’s a permanent move, they could be answering a call from a demon, like Crowley, and he could be creating an army out of them.”

Dean took a seat next to me, and before I could stop him, quickly grabbed my cereal and shoveled a spoonful into his mouth before he registered how awful the powdered milk was. Making a face and groaning in disgust, Dean pushed my bowl back towards me and decided to weigh in on our conversation. “Could be that they’re being drafted by Crowley, but they might not be . . . Can’t afford to send anyone to check it out right now when we need everyone going out now to focus on getting more supplies to help us through the winter. It’s November . . . we’re lucky it hasn’t started snowing yet.” Bobby grumbled about already being thin on manpower. He said we didn’t even have enough people who could shoot to space out the guard shifts very well. 

Yeah, but that didn’t mean that Dean was wrong. He just needed to know how the system had been set up here, and then he could help us figure out a solution. “And we can’t rely on getting extra manpower for our wall from the outposts when they have their own walls to build. They’re like independent territories. They need to focus on having their own guards . . . that’s why the lore and hunter training is important for them to do here at night. I think all the kids we find should stay in the main keep along with any family members they have, so we need to start building more cabins to house them, and at least another building needs to be built that we can use as a clinic. Maybe we need to rethink the teams that I originally set up. We could split the food team into two teams, so half of them work on the greenhouse and half of them are out there ransacking neighborhoods for more food and supplies . . . We could cut down or get rid of the Information Team.” 

Dean smiled at my attempt to force a bite of cereal down after I’d said all that. “Not everyone I brought with me got sent to the outposts, so we can assign them to the wall and food teams, but I think your book squad was a good idea. We should keep it going. How many are on it now?” 

“8 plus Stephen or whatever hunter is available as a bodyguard.” 

Chuck joined in and told Dean he was a co-team leader of the information team with Pamela. He sounded proud of it, so it’s a good thing Dean was serious about not getting rid of that team. “Chuck, why don’t you find out which one wouldn’t mind moving to the wall. Pamela can handle 5 people on her own. You can be in charge of setting up our radio comm with the equipment Adam and I picked up, so we can get through to the outposts. They can give us a heads up if they need any help on anything or if they’re attacked, and if you get one of your visions and know something’s comin’ our way, we can give ‘em fair warning. Might be able to use it to find more survivors that’re holed up out there somewhere too.” It looked like Chuck had talked himself into a promotion without meaning to do it. 

I threw out another idea I had. “I think that somebody should set up a school for the kids, so they have something that resembles normality. They need to be educated, and we could get them started on after school mini-hunter training. Maybe Sue could do the teaching for now, since she went to college for a while to be a schoolteacher, and kid friendly hunters can do the training – not Rufus . . . and I think that a big part of our problem is lack of people, and I was already planning on heading out to get medical supplies, and if I go out, I’ll look for survivors and stock up on more food and blankets and warm clothes, things like that . . . maybe even things so I can set up a lab.” 

Dean was following along until I said that last part. “Beth, nobody’s going out alone anymore. In fact, I’m making that a rule right now. Nobody leaves without a partner, so it looks like you’re stayin’. We’ll just have to find someone else to go.” _That’s a load of bollocks. Why would needing a partner exclude me from going out?_

“Okay, I’ll just take Adam.” 

Dean looked down at the table in thought before he glanced at me. “Uh, you can’t have Adam. He just got back twice and needs a break. We need him here to set up the generators, start up the after-school hunter training, and . . . we’ll need him on the wall.” 

Chuck used his need to find the radio equipment as an excuse to leave. He wasn’t good with confrontation, so I waited until he was gone before I said, “I’m not black and blue, and there is absolutely no reason for me not to go do this. I will –“

“I’ll go.” _What? No, you have a job here to do._

“You can’t go with me if you vetoed Adam by saying he needs a break. You just got back too. And you have to get to know the people here . . . You’re the natural born leader this camp needs. I’ll take Bobby.” Dean really didn’t look happy I said he couldn’t go, but he’d shot himself in the foot because of what he said about Adam. 

“Bobby can go with Rufus. Can’t leave just one of them here, since one doesn’t know what the other’s doing. I’ll need you to stay and catch me up.” _Come on! I just came back from being out there, and I was fine._

“You don’t need me here. Each group has team leaders that can tell you what you need to know. Do you have heart medication or cancer meds in your first aid kit? What about seizure medication for Tamara? She’s epileptic. How about insulin for the diabetics, like Maeve? What if someone gets a serious injury from falling off the wall or a cabin we’re building? What if someone gets appendicitis or steps on a rusty nail? We have to set up our own hospital. We’ll need a lab, so we can run blood tests and start making our own antibiotics, because what’s out there now won’t last forever. We can’t afford to throw away all of the scientific and medical advances made in the last 200 years. Let me do this.” Dean looked like he was on the verge of agreeing but was trying to find a suitable partner that he hadn’t nixed yet when Stephen volunteered.

“What?” Dean and I turned in unison to look at him. 

Stephen cleared his throat and decided to use his phony hunter accent for some reason. “I’ll go. I’ve been itchin’ for the chance to get out there and see some action, and she seems like the best candidate. She did her PhD in Biomedical Science, right?” _I can’t believe he remembered that._ “She may not be a doctor, but she knows more about this kind of thing than the rest of us. Now, she could just give me a list of things to pick up, but science is like a foreign language for an English Lit major, like me.” _That’s right. He did take that. He’d be good to help teach English. If he does that, then maybe Ross, from outpost 7, can teach Math, because he was a Math major, and I’ll help teach science. Sue can teach the rest?_

Dean interrupted my planning. “He’s not used to working with a partner. You can take Rufus or Bobby.” The fact that Dean had listened made me feel a lot of affection for him, and I hated what I was about to say. I didn’t want to use his own words against him, but then if he hadn’t been right when he said them, I wouldn’t have to do it. 

“I can’t take one of them, because you were right, and I didn’t realize it until you said it. They’re team leaders, and you’ll need all the help from team leaders you can get. Rufus is on guards, patrols, the wall, and pretty much took over the training of adults. Bobby helps him on the wall, but also keeps track of the domestic things that need to be done and the outposts as well as lore training.” I was the only one who knew what everyone in the camp was doing on a day-to-day basis and had organized programs that needed to be maintained, and if I wasn’t here to maintain them, all of the team leaders had to be.

Dean quickly stood up and abruptly responded, “Do whatever you want. It’s what you’ll do anyway, right Free Agent Foley?” _He hasn’t called me that for . . . at least a year and a half maybe longer. The last time was . . . that spirit case . . . or was it the skinwalker . . . no it was the triple werewolves . . . he said it when Sam came over to help us both up._ It’s why I’d challenged him with it on the vetala case after that. It started off as a joke, but after awhile he only used to call me that when I pissed him off on those early hunts. _Why is he saying it now?_

He looked down at Stephen and channeled his inner John. “The only reason you’re going is to keep her safe. Anything happens to her, and I’m holding you responsible.” Stephen left to pack, while Dean glared at his coffee over by the counter. He wouldn’t look at me and the vibe I got from him let me know I probably shouldn’t say anything to him just then. 

I did not want this to turn into anything like what happened after Famine in case anything happened to me when I was out there. I didn’t want a rant like that one to be my last memory of him. Instead, I got up and went to find Sue, so I could ask her about the school idea. She was okay with it, so I put her in charge of starting it up and told her to get Ross to help her before saying that Stephen and I would help when we got back. Then I went to tell Adam I was going out and what Dean wanted him to do while I was gone.


	12. Having Brothers Isn't Easy

Beth picked up a pharmacology book and stuffed it in her bag. It looked like she’d already made up her mind, so Adam went over to Dean to try him. “Are you sure this is a good idea? Didn’t you say this guy wasn’t a team player?” He didn’t understand why Dean would agree with this. Dean refused to answer him and kept sharpening his knives on the other side of the cabin from Beth. He really hated it when Dean shut down like this.

“Well, I don’t want her going out there with this guy. She should be going out there with me. I’m her hunting partner.” 

“Then why don’t you go talk to her, and leave me out of it.” Dean threw his knife in his bag and got up to go start fixing the Impala. _Is he pissed off I said she was my hunting partner? She is. Dean might’ve been her mentor, but she’s never been his partner._

Going to Dean had been a bust, so he went back to Beth, who was now doing an inventory of her weapons bag. He always helped her do that. “Listen, Beth. Why don’t I go with you, and Stephen can stay here and do all the firewood and wall crap.” 

“Adam, I wanted you to come. You were my first choice, but Dean made a good point when he said you’d just gotten back from being out there twice. I don’t want you getting hurt, turned, or killed, because you’re burnt out. We’ll go out the next time if you want. I don’t trust Stephen either if it makes you feel better.” She kept checking and re-checking the things in her bag. She normally did, but not this many times. _She’s stalling until Dean stops being a dick and comes to say goodbye._

“How is that supposed to make me feel better? The first thing you told me about hunting with a partner was that you’re supposed to trust them! You’d be better off going out there alone than with someone you don’t trust, and it’s not like you and I weren’t out for months at a time hunting.” He didn’t usually yell at her, so it made her pause for a moment. _Good. Maybe it’ll make her re-think things . . . Nope now she just looks sad and like she’s ready to go._

“Adam, I have to do this. And it’s not like it used to be. When we were on hunts, we had down time. We weren’t constantly on guard, so our nerves didn’t get fried. I’m coming back. I always do.” She tried giving him a smile, but it just looked like a sad one. He hated seeing her look sad or when she tried to make other people feel better about something even though she didn’t. Dean had obviously already made her feel bad about it. She didn’t need him to make her feel worse on top of that if she definitely was going.

She grabbed the last of her things as Stephen came in with his stuff, so Adam picked her up in a big hug and told her to enjoy her time out with somebody different this time, because he wouldn’t let this happen again before turning a glare at Stephen and threatening him if anything happened to her. At least that made her laugh. “I’ll be fine, Adam. Where’s Dean?” 

Adam told her he’d gone out to fix his car, and she looked down and nodded, knowing that meant Dean didn’t want to see her before she left. Adam felt like he had to say bye for both of them, but before he could, she gave Adam another sad smile and told him to look after Dean and with that, she walked out the door, got into the flatbed truck, and gave him a small wave as they backed away from the cabin. 

Adam didn’t want to talk to Dean, so he went out to work on the first of their generators. He needed to work with his hands and do something other than think about what could go wrong. What if she got shot again? Would Stephen need to save her the way he had when Jo shot her? What if she ran into guys like those ones she killed and Stephen did nothing? 

Adam had never felt bad for the men she killed. His only concern had been for Beth and whether it meant she was changing into a hardened killer after what happened with Crowley or if she’d been turned. He should’ve never doubted her, and it’d taken Dean’s talk with him on the way back for him to see that, which made him feel like an idiot and disloyal. He couldn’t make it up to her if she died now. The thought that something like what happened to that woman could happen to Beth both infuriated and sickened him. And what would that mean for Dean if he felt all the injuries she got? What if Crowley found her again? Or Sam? What if a demon or rogue angel took her to their leaders? Stephen wouldn’t stop any of that from happening. He’d probably hand her over if it meant saving himself. 

He kept working at the generators until around noon when he decided that it wasn’t enough to take his mind off things. He’d finish it tomorrow. He wanted to start putting in the steel beams Bobby and a couple of guys Adam didn’t know had gotten this morning for the guard towers. 

Rufus was working on the north wall today. He looked like he was having fun digging the moat and adding the dirt to the mound of dirt that was already there from the trench on the other side. They needed the mound to be thicker than they’d originally thought, because the wall it would be supporting was going to be thick, and it’d be heavy. When the mound was finished, packed down, and leveled off, they’d pour cement over it to reinforce it. After that, the cement would have to be leveled and allowed to set before they could start laying the cinder blocks on top. Right now, they were packing down and leveling off the dirt bank along the west side of the camp in preparation for the cement and putting in the foundations and posts for the guard towers. 

By the time Adam got to the west wall, Rufus had disappeared, and it looked like Bobby wanted to have his turn at playing in the dirt, because he was climbing into the digger to take over until Rufus got back. Adam decided to learn how to level off the bank from the people still working on it while Bobby was busy doing that. They had so much to do that it seemed daunting. 

The whole wall was going to be 2 miles long around the perimeter. Luckily, he and Dean had found a big construction sight that was only about 3 hours away from here when they’d been out on their supply run. They could go back there to get what they needed for the wall, but Adam wasn’t even sure what was there would be enough. That meant they’d have to go further afield to find more once that resource had been tapped. It was all going to take a lot more time, and nobody was moving fast enough at it, so he needed to fill in until Dean got his head out of his ass and took charge here. 

Rufus took the digger back from Bobby maybe an hour later, and when Adam asked if there’d been something wrong, Bobby explained that Rufus had been on patrols of the area. Adam guessed he’d have to learn their routines, because he didn’t have any idea what they were yet. 

Now that Bobby was back, Adam wanted to get started on the watchtower. He didn’t know how to do it, but he’d learn, just like everyone else was. They only had a little under half of the posts and foundations put in for the watchtowers along the west wall, which meant it was all free hands on deck. They had to get this done, and he had plenty of energy to spare. Doing the harder manual labor would hopefully allow him to lose himself in the work more than the generators had. It didn’t take long to figure out that it didn’t really take his mind off of being left behind, but how he was feeling did make him work harder, so maybe some good came from it. 

He knew Beth had always been the one to take care of him, but he felt like he was at a level where he could finally return the favor. And Dean should’ve tried harder to get her to stay or get her to take one of them with her. The absolute last thing Dean should’ve done was let her leave here knowing that he was pissed at her. She needed to be in a good place mentally to be a good hunter . . . well, that wasn’t true. She was probably better when she wasn’t, but she was definitely more reckless. 

After a while, Adam needed to change the way he was thinking. He didn’t want to be mad at either of them, because they were all he had. Maybe she would be fine. She did come back after Michael, and he hadn’t thought she would. Well, that may have turned out fine, but she wasn’t even there more than a few hours before Crowley came to collect on his deal with that traitor, Sam. 

Adam had thought Sam might be okay towards the end, but not now. Adam also felt guilty that not only had he not seen that coming when keeping an eye on Sam had been his main goal when he and Beth went on the road with Sam and Dean, but that Crowley had been able to find the werewolf tablet at Bobby’s, because Adam was the one that had been there when it happened. He still didn’t know how they found which car pile it’d been buried under or got around the booby traps without him knowing about it. Nobody else had brought it up, so maybe they didn’t blame him, but he did. If that hadn’t happened, Crowley would’ve had nothing to trade Sam with for Beth. Didn’t change that Sam let that truck full of the virus out of the Nivius headquarters though. 

Thinking back on what happened just after Beth’d been taken, Adam snorted quietly to himself. He hadn’t grown up with Sam and Dean, so he didn’t know what their fights looked like, but when he went outside after Bobby called him to help pull them apart, he’d thought it was hilarious seeing the bigger Sam get his ass handed to him by Dean until he got closer. It wasn’t a side to Dean he’d seen before, and to be honest, it’d scared him, so he helped Bobby pull Dean away. Then he found out why Dean had snapped, and he wished he hadn’t. 

He’d lost the most important member of his family while he was inside making a sandwich with Bobby, because someone he’d only started to sort of trust had sold her. He’d known that the only way to get her back was to go with Dean, because Dean had that Beth tracker, so he’d gotten his go bag and made sure he was ready when Dean left. Dean and Beth came as a matching set whether they knew it or not . . . _So what the hell happened to let Dean think her going out with someone untrustworthy is in any way okay?_ Adam angrily finished his 6th post. 

Adam continued on until around 4 with his thoughts oscillating between guilt, anger and worry until Dean sent Bobby to tell him the kids were ready for their first lesson. He sighed and looked up at the sky to keep from telling Bobby to tell Dean that he could go fuck himself. He’d been in one of his angry phases then. Before he left, Adam glanced at everything they’d done that day. It hadn’t been too bad. Tomorrow they’d be albe to start on the posts and foundations for the towers on the North wall. _It’s a start._

Adam went to clean up before going to start his lessons with the kids. Apparently, Dean wanted him to have the kids work on collecting firewood too. They could do that another time. He was too tired and burnt out and stressed to deal with that today. 

Surprisingly, he enjoyed training the kids. He scaled down the regime he and Beth had gone through to make it easier for the kids depending on their ages. The kids seemed to like it all right. They said it was like gym class. He didn’t think they should do anything with knives even though Ben kept asking about them. Not only did Adam not want to deal with having to give the kids stitches if they made a mistake, but he thought it was probably too soon for Tamara and Jimmy to be exposed to them after what happened to their mom just last night . . . _God was that just last night? Man, a lot of crap has happened since then_. . . Anyway he trained them all on how to disassemble and reassemble unloaded handguns, and then called it a day. Some of the kids thought of it as a puzzle, so it was fun for them, and maybe tomorrow he would start timing them and teach them how to clean them. Small steps on this sort of thing would probably be best. He didn’t want to be like his Dad had been with Dean and train them like he was their drill sergeant, but if they were going to survive in this new world, then they had to learn and maybe making it fun for them was a better way to do it. 

The rest of the night was uneventful. Maybe that’s because Dean only came into the cabin once to grab a bottle of whiskey and then took it back outside with him while he took the night watch with Bobby. Adam wasn’t sure what he would say to his brother when he had a chance, but he knew Dean well enough now to know not to push it at the moment. Maybe tomorrow would be different.

Unfortunately, the next day was worse. Not because Dean wasn’t around, but it because he was under Adam’s feet all day. The Impala was finished, so Dean went out and worked on the towers with them, but he was in a terrible mood and came off as a tyrant even though he was working alongside them. Adam didn’t say it, but he thought that if Dean had gotten off his back yesterday and helped on the wall instead of pouting under his car, maybe they could’ve gotten more done, and he and Dean could’ve worked on the Impala together last night, but no Dean had to go and be a bitch about it and do it all himself and get drunk on the night shift instead. Beth would’ve been proud of him for not saying it. Maybe he was learning to hold things back better. 

By the time Adam left for the mini-hunter training, they’d completed a little over half of the posts for the Northern watchtowers, and Dean was making the rest of them stay out there and work until it was completely dark instead of taking off for the day like they were used to doing around this time. _I can’t really fault him for that one._ Now that he thought about it, nobody else felt the urgency they should for wall . . . These people knew what croats could do, but they’d all gotten complacent. 

It was like they thought that the cabin was some sort of a magical place that would protect them now that they were here, or maybe they thought Dean would be able to protect them after the way he’d run things when the croat attacks happened . . . maybe they just didn’t think anything would happen to them now that they’d survived this long. Whatever it was, after the shit Adam had seen while he was out there with Dean, he thought the rest of them did need someone to light a fire under them to make sure this got done, because there were a lot more than 100 or 30 croats out there, and they were smart and migrating. What happened when they came back in the Spring or what happened if someone was making an army out of them. 

Maybe the people here had lost all hope or lost their will to fight and were just waiting to die . . . maybe not the Russians . . . or Chuck or Pamela or Jody or Deacon or Sue, eh . . . actually there were plenty around here that were working hard and doing whatever they had to do to survive . . . even that Stephen guy was out there doing it now. He may be doing it for fun as much as anything, but if you want to have fun, then you want to live . . . Maybe it was just the people working on this wall . . . maybe Bobby and Rufus just thought they were too old to be doing this . . . or maybe they were too old and were moving as fast as they could with all the other things Beth had assigned them to do and the rest of them were just lazy and not used to the hard work after living soft lives before this. 

Adam may have agreed with Dean on his need to get the wall done, but he was still glad he got to get away from him. It didn’t last long, because Dean followed him to see how they were getting on with the firewood. He said he’d noticed that they hadn’t gotten any the day before, that the trees around the wall had to be cleared, and it was Adam’s job to make sure it got done. Dean may have been getting on Adam’s case, but at least he was good to the kids, so Adam let it slide to prevent a fight in front of them. The two of them chopped the wood together, while the kids piled it up near the cabin. Then they went through the training, and Dean left when he was sure that Adam had that under control. Finally.

The third day carried on the same way the second had. Dean’s mood hadn’t improved, and after struggling to put up with it, Adam finally had enough when he and Dean were supposed to be on the night watch together. Dean wasn’t saying anything, but Adam could still feel the tension buzzing off of him like he was about to snap. Maybe they both needed to vent. Adam had been putting up with his brother losing his shit as well as his worries about Beth and the work they were supposed to be doing. He was good at finding weaknesses in Sam. He’d never done that with Dean, but maybe he had to if it would help them both get their aggression out. 

“Ever wonder what Beth was like to hunt with after you got pissed at her for what she did with Famine? Cuz I hunted with her before that, and I was the one that hunted with her after that. There were definite differences.” Dean’s jawline tightened, but he didn’t say anything, so Adam kept pushing. “She got reckless . . . more reckless than she normally is. Like I bet you felt when she cut her arm on one of our hunts maybe . . . a couple of weeks before we met back up with you, not that you probably thought it was all that bad, because she was hunting again a couple of days later . . . Sometimes, I think that her not having a body for 29 years makes it so she doesn’t quite get the way her body works . . . it’s like just because she can will away the pain, she thinks that means everything is -” 

“There a point to this?” 

Adam quickly said with the irritation he’d been trying to hold back on until then, “Yeah . . . the Koschei hunt was affected because of the rugaru hunt and the hunt before that one affected the rugaru hunt. You wanna know what happened on the rugaru hunt? She almost died. She sliced through an artery while she was running to get ahead of a jogger, so she could draw the rugaru’s attention away from the victim . . . the jogger sprinted away and the rugaru zeroed in on Beth . . . and then Beth disappeared back into the woods . . . when I got to her, she’d somehow managed to torch it, but she was passed out from blood loss, and I couldn’t wake her up . . . It was worse than when she got shot. You know the difference between then and now? Not you being a dick that made sure she knew you were pissed at her before she left for who knows how long . . . no, the difference is that now she has shitty backup.” 

Adam didn’t get the reaction he’d hoped for because Dean pushed past Adam saying he had to do a perimeter check. Dean wasn’t exactly the caring and sharing type, so this was the only way Adam knew that the two of them could work this out. If they didn’t, it would still be there when she got back, and maybe it might wreck things if that happened, and he might’ve just made things worse, so he pushed it further. “I guess I was wrong about you. Maybe you don’t see her as anything more than a thing to use like Sam did. Since Beth obviously doesn’t have anyone else looking out for her, I’ll do it and say I think that if you want a quick lay, you should go find someone else. I’m sure one of the other women around here would be up for it . . . maybe when we get more survivors it’ll improve Beth’s odds too . . . or maybe she doesn’t need them. Maybe she’s out there with Stephen right now-” 

Dean turned around and sucker punched him. _That’s what this is about?_ Adam had been expecting it to come at some point, so he dodged it enough not to take a direct hit before he responded with an uppercut to Dean’s stomach. After that, Dean tackled him, and Adam took a few more hits before he could get out of it using an old wrestling move he remembered from junior high and retaliated with a couple strikes of his own. The two of them traded jabs and crosses until they tired themselves out and found themselves sitting on the ground, bloody and more than a little bruised by the end of it. 

Looking over at Adam who was wiping a couple of drops of blood from his nose and had the makings of a black eye, Dean nursed his own split lip. He could feel where his cheek was swelling, and chuckled as he got to his feet, so he could go help Adam up. “You take a class on how to annoy the fuck out of people, Joe College, or are you just a natural at it?” 

“Call it a gift . . . thought it was something we both needed . . . You know I didn’t mean it, right? Beth didn’t do any of that stuff because you were pissed off with her . . . It was finding out that she had to keep God’s secret safe . . . She wanted to be able to handle anything that was thrown at her and maybe . . . she might’ve used you not being there as an opportunity to do things she wouldn’t normally do to push herself. You don’t have to worry about her on this supply run. She doesn’t trust Stephen, so it’ll be like she’s out there on her own . . . she knows not to do crazy shit when she doesn’t have backup, so she’ll be fine . . . And you’re as much of an idiot as Beth is . . . she’s not going to go off with anybody else and definitely not with that guy . . . So are we good?” 

Dean gave him a side-glance while he stretched to assess the damage. “Yeah, we’re good . . . So, I take it your gift includes talkin’ like a chick, cuz all that’s definitely something a chick would say.” He shoved Adam’s shoulder jokingly and went to do his perimeter check, but stopped a few feet away. “Did she really do that with the rugaru?” _Uhhhhh . . . I’m so dead._

Adam tried to dig his way out without lying. “Cas got her to a hospital, and she was fine. He failed her for that hunt too, and he only did that if she, you know, would’ve died on hunts if he weren’t around . . . don’t tell her I told you any of that.” 

Dean’s grin widened before he said, “What? You want me to not use this to knock you outta the top spot as her favorite hunting partner while Cas is away? Not a chance,” before he turned and kept on walking in a much lighter mood.

The next morning the adults in the camp covertly looked at the two of them with their scrapes and bruises, and Bobby may have glared and shaken his head a few times while Rufus snickered off to the side, but nobody said anything to them about it even though they knew that he and Dean had been in a fight. The two of them ignored it and pretended like nothing had happened. The only difference that mattered was that Dean seemed calmer and more interested in engaging with the people in the camp instead of barking orders and wallowing in anger even though he kept them working the same long, hard hours. 

For his part, Adam stood by Dean’s side, while Dean gave his directions instead of pretending not to hear them or rolling his eyes and huffing at everything his brother did, and when people grumbled about the workload, he vigorously defended everything Dean said. He’d always thought Dean was right about most of the things he was saying. It’s just that Dean wasn’t being a dick about it anymore. 

By the end of the second week, the camp’s routine was set. Most people accepted the routine as the new norm. After Bobby and Rufus made a quick run to Green Bay for the materials, all the guard towers were finally done. They’d also covered all 2 miles of the mound in cement and were beginning to build the wall using cinder blocks along the West Wall. So far, it was only about 3 feet tall at its highest point but it added to the 12-foot drop to the bottom of the trench making it 15 feet from top to bottom outside the wall. It was a decent start. By the end, they hoped to add another 7 feet to match it up with the height of the guard towers. 

Overall, Dean had gotten them better prepared than any of them had thought possible in such a short amount of time, so his methods and work ethic paid off. It helped that he worked alongside everyone rather than just standing there when he told people what to do. He was constantly on the move between the wall and making sure the green houses got put up and making sure that the outposts were coming along on their walls and keeping track of the daily reports from the food and information teams when they came back in the evenings. Adam was looking forward to when Beth came back, so she could see how much they’d gotten done. 

“You need to watch yourself with those two.” He and Dean were doing their rounds after lunch. 

Dean asked him, “What?” like he was completely clueless.

“Nothin’ . . . It’s just . . . it’s not like it used to be . . . We aren’t in bars in towns we’re leaving in our rearview mirror anymore. You used to piss women off all the time when you spent a decent amount of time flirting with them and then dropped them for Beth as soon as she walked up or left with Beth at the end of the night . . . Trish and Maxine have both decided to stake their claim on you. Right now they think they’re in competition with each other. They don’t know that you will always go home with Beth at the end of the night, so when she gets back . . . they’re gonna cause problems for her, and Beth’s not going to understand it.” 

Maybe he shouldn’t have said anything, but it’d been annoying him. Dean wasn’t the one that saw the looks women used to give Beth. Dean only had eyes for Beth and forgot all about them. “If I remember right, a lot of the time I warmed ‘em up for you, so I’d say you got a pretty good deal out of it.” Maybe Adam might’ve used it to his advantage once or twice when the women weren’t psychos, but he’d never say that to Dean. When he didn’t respond, Dean sighed and dropped the act. “Yeah, I know. It’s why I take the night watch every night, so I don’t have to deal with all of the drama of one of ‘em trying to climb into bed with me. It’s a lot easier when I have Beth as a buffer . . . thought I’d keep ‘em sweet until Beth got back, so they could see that’s our room, not just my room . . . would’ve thought they got that, since it’s where she was sleeping the 3 weeks we were out on the road.” So, Dean was aware of it. He was just going along with it until Beth got back, so they could see he was already taken? Yeah, that wasn’t going to blow up in his face at all. It’d better not blow back on Beth. 

“You don’t have to encourage them . . . The sooner you deal with it the better, or I’ll have to do it, the way I always had to take care of it without you knowing . . . Think there might’ve been a few times Beth would’ve gotten jumped coming out of the bathroom or going out for a sneaky smoke if –“ 

“What are you talking about? Beth hasn’t smoked since –“ 

“Since Famine? Oh yeah, she has . . . She won’t buy her own, but I’ve seen her lift plenty of packs off assholes that are disrespectful to waitresses, usually after she tells them that what goes around comes around and then does a bunch of small stuff, like that, steal all their cash, knock over their pint, and superglue their hands to the bar if they can’t keep their hands to themselves.” 

Dean grinned before his smile fell a little. “She’ll do it for the waitresses, but it’s open season on her . . . I never thought about keeping an eye on women . . . You think they really would’ve gone after her?” Adam took a deep breath and nodded. “Yeah, all right. I’ll figure something out.” That’s all Adam had wanted.

“So, you think Beth’s on her way back?” 

Dean relaxed at just the mention of Beth coming back. “She should be. Chuck said they finally got where they were going. After she gets what she wants, she should be heading home. She’s been stopped in the same place for a couple of hours now, so as soon as she starts moving, they should only be about 10 hours away, well with the roads full of cars, it’ll be more like 13 if she doesn’t stop anywhere on the way back.” 

Adam still didn’t get that. “Why is she so far away when she could have gotten that stuff a lot closer.” 

“If I had to guess, I’d say it was because she didn’t want to risk anyone knowing where the camp is if she gets spotted.” Dean stopped as Chuck called him on the two-way. “Yeah, Chuck. Radio or vision?” 

“Both. I just got a call from some survivors that are in a bunker a little less than a day west of here. They’re stuck in the middle of a snowstorm with some monsters lurking around the place. They think they have croats, but my vision made it seem more like they had vampires . . . like a whole nest of them. There are 5 in their group, and they’re protected for now because of the snow, but I don’t think they have much time before they’re found. There’s one man and 2 kids he picked up that are about the same age as his own kids . . . In my vision, you were pulling up there in a snow plough . . . nothing on when the snow is going to hit here.” 

No word on Beth in the vision, or she wasn’t here at the camp for some reason that Chuck didn’t want to say, and that’s the reason Chuck didn’t know if the camp would be hit by snow? And vamps. Adam had nearly forgotten about the other monsters out there besides Croats. Of course with Croats moving out, other monsters would start to move in and pick off the scraps left over.


	13. It's a Long Road to Ann Arbor

As we pulled away from home, Stephen asked where we were heading. I wasn’t up for much conversation when the only person I really wanted to talk to had been too angry with me to say goodbye. But Stephen had been good enough to agree to go, so I owed him and could pay him back by not having a chip on my shoulder the whole time. 

“I was thinking we should search places between here and Ann Arbor. It has a university where we can get more books, a medical school, and a hospital. We’ll be able to have a look for survivors along the way without having to risk going into cities, like Chicago, that are too big for two people to scour and still have croats . . . You should know that when we get there, it has to be more of a smash and grab operation. There are things out there looking for me, so I can’t let any prying eyes see me and let something bigger know where I am. That’s the other reason we’re going so far away. It’ll keep the camp safer.” 

Thankfully, he didn’t ask me why anything would be looking for me, because I still wasn’t willing to give that sort of information out to just anyone, but I knew he was wondering about it. We were quiet for a few minutes, until I said, “Thanks for agreeing to go out with me after the last time I saw you.” 

“Yeah, well . . . I think we got off on the wrong foot the last time.” Maybe. Only time would tell, but I was willing to give it a shot if we had to live together permanently now. He turned his attention back to the road and added, “Besides if you could make it out here on your own the way you did the last couple of days . . . must not be that bad.” _Ah, so he isn’t completely willing to bury the hatchet._

When someone tries to piss you off, and you can see it for what it is, then you never give that person what he wants. That didn’t mean I couldn’t try to turn the tables on him, and beat him at his own game though, so I looked out the window and casually said, “I’ve decided that you’re teaching the kids English, and I expect some lessons on Artemis and Athena, since the god of the hunt and the god of wisdom and war were both female. Get used to following orders. You’re part of a unit now, not just a solo flyer.” 

“What I want to know is who put you and Dean in charge of running the camp and deciding to do things your own way?”

“God did.” I tried not to laugh at the look he gave me and then decided to tone it down. “Look, you’re a hunter, which means your expertise and skills automatically put you in a leadership position now that the world is what it is. Despite that, there will always have to be leaders above the leaders in a pyramid leading to a single person in charge, and that person in charge is Dean. All I do is advise him. Bobby and Rufus advise him, because they have a lot of wisdom, but not necessarily the leadership qualities that he has . . . even you could advise him if you’d stop thinking that you’re better than him. He won’t steer the few humans that are left in the wrong direction. He’s been training for this in one way or another since he was 4. He may not have a college education, but he never needed one. He’s intelligent, and his college was the real world. He’s got a natural instinct for tactics. He’s great with anything mechanical, like a superhuman with anything weapons related, and he cares about other people more than anyone I’ve ever met.” He didn’t say anything, but he didn’t have to say it, because I could tell that nothing I’d said made a difference. _Just drop it for now._

Movement in the trees up ahead caught my eye and made me smile. “But he’s not here, and we are . . . Maybe you and I could be friends some day if we had something to unite us other than trying to get a camp full of people to stay uninfected and alive. We can start small with it, and for now I say we play a game to make the drive more fun.” He gave me a side-glance as I pulled out my handgun to check the magazine and flip the safety off. “Since we can’t exactly play the license plate game anymore, I say we play the ‘who can kill the most croats game.” _Talk about perfect timing._ Just then, a group of about 10 came out of the tree line to our right and went to cross the road about 100 yards in front of us. 

Stephen grinned and said, “Well, alright,” before he floored it and ran over 6 of the 10 and turned to me saying, “Looks like that’s 6 for me,” but I shook my head as I hopped out the door. 

“No, those 6 aren’t dead, they’re just trapped.” I took out 2 of the remaining croats still standing as he got the other two, and then it was a scramble to see who could get the ones stuck under the truck first. We each got 5. It looked like it was game on. 

After that, we stopped bitching at one another, stuck with the game when we saw croats, and cleared out homes and farms along the way. We didn’t find any survivors, but we did grab supplies, minor farm equipment, and diesel the farms had stored. We scoured the land in a zigzag pattern that covered a 15-mile distance on both sides of the main road. It took a lot longer than I thought it would, but we didn’t want to take the chance of missing any survivors by sticking to one side of the road over the other. Going around Lake Michigan, there may not have been much in the way of land to the south other than docklands or marinas, but there were also no people on boats either. If I had a boat and didn’t know anything about the supernatural, that’s probably what I would’ve done . . . go to my boat with supplies and wait it out in the lake . . . maybe there were some out there, but we couldn’t see them if there were. We did get to take a lot of fishing equipment though.

Just before we crossed into Michigan, we found 5 dairy cows, 1 bull, 6 sows, a boar, 4 sheep, a ram, 2 goats, 8 chickens, and 1 rooster in a free-range farm, but the larger mega-farms where animals were kept indoors were a complete bust. The animals that had been housed in those types of farms were either dead due to starvation after having been left in their pens for so long, or dying. Pigs had already eaten the weaker ones that died in their pens, so some of them had survived, but who wanted to survive the zombie apocalypse just to get the pig version of mad cow disease even if the chances of that happening were slim? We had to put more than one beast out of its misery along the way. I documented the coordinates of the free-range farm and made sure the animals had food and water that would last them until we could come back for them. We couldn’t bring them with us. Noisy farm animals would draw unwanted attention when we got to more populated areas. 

Our biggest score was at a co-op we found. We managed to take as many bags of seeds as we could to grow wheat and oats for us, and grain corn for the animals. We didn’t have any room to grow that sort of thing at the cabin, but I was pretty sure the two farms in our list of outposts would be able to in the spring. We grabbed enough ready made feed to last the animals we’d found the winter. We also snagged smaller food processing machinery from a food processing plant that we could use to separate the seeds from the chaff of raw crops for the harvest next year and something Stephen thought would grind wheat down into flour. 

We stopped in stores when we found them and snatched things that would help us keep warm for the winter, like heavy clothes for people of all ages and blankets, as well food. Until we got further into Michigan, the stores didn’t provide much, because they were mostly mom and pop places that had already been cleaned out.   
In Michigan, we found another big farm truck that was full of fuel and Stephen drove that, so we could transfer everything that wasn’t machinery to it. We needed the extra space for the megastores that started popping up more and more. I marked the locations of the mega stores too, so we could go back to them again in the future, because they still had a lot of things that people hadn’t completely looted, and we couldn’t bring it all with us. I still had to leave enough room on the flatbed truck for the medical supplies we were supposed to get. 

Overall, it was quiet, and barren and utterly depressing with nobody but croats and dead farm animals around. Stephen tried to keep it light and talked about movies or books when we met up at a new place to search or when we stopped somewhere for the night, but the bleakness would kick back in when we’d finish our search and find it was nothing but another empty place devoid of humans. I don’t know about him, but it definitely made me feel more and more like we were the only ones left . . . that is until we’d been out for a little over two weeks and found our first survivors well on our way into Michigan. 

The first thing that made this farm stand out from the rest was the heavy presence of croats milling around the house. They were the first we’d come across that weren’t migrating, so they had to be sticking around for something. After almost 6 weeks with the virus, they’d become much less human in their appearance. Their faces had begun to twist and contort into angry caricatures of what a human should look like. Their mental capacity had also greatly diminished. They wouldn’t know how to hold a gun, let alone how to shoot one. Now when we pulled up, they just sprinted towards our trucks.

There were only about 15 that I could see in the yard of the farm. We’d taken out groups a lot larger than that . . . of course it helped when you could just run them over first, which is what I did to the first 4. There were 3 running for my door, so I pointed my gun out the window and dealt with them. 2 more came flying around the corner of the house to my left, and I dropped them too. After that I had to hop out of the truck so I could get 2 clean shots on 2 that were running towards the hood of my truck. That’s when Stephen plowed into 3 that were on the other side of the yard before he began his assault, and that gave me a chance to kill the 4 I’d pinned under the flatbed before they could get back up. 

Once the onslaught quietened down, we made our way to the house to see what we could find. I had Stephen go in the front door, while I made my way around back. I only had to get rid of 2 back there, but kid Croats were the hardest to kill. They brought up all kinds of angry thoughts and miserable feelings at night. 

Windows were broken all around the back, but I only found one in the house while doing my sweep of the kitchen and back hall. When I met Stephen in the middle of the house he shook his head to indicate he hadn’t seen anything in the parts of the house he’d cleared. I wondered where the people staying here were. _Upstairs?_ I went that way, and Stephen went to the basement. I heard another shot come from the basement, and I found a couple of croats in one of the bedrooms rummaging around in the closet. After they were gone, I finished clearing the rest of the rooms and closets, but I didn’t see any humans upstairs, and when I called down to Stephen, he said he hadn’t found anyone either. 

_Well, there have to be people in here, or the croats wouldn’t be. They’re on a mission from Hell to turn as many humans as they can, and that overrides any migratory instincts they have . . . What else would override that? … Demons? … Yeah, but I don’t think that’s it. A demon would’ve had a lot more Croats for an army than this . . . Maybe, or maybe they’re just demon security for a demon that doesn’t want an army, but doesn’t want to join one either?_

I was puzzling over it as I made my way back to the top of the stairs and was about to descend when I caught sight of the attic door in the ceiling. “Hey, if there are people up in the attic, I’m coming up to do a search, so don’t shoot me.” I paused to wait for a response but didn’t get one. I still had to look. I reached up to pull the door down as Stephen came up the stairs to cover me.

Once the door was lowered and I’d pulled the ladder down, I looked back at Stephen to make sure he was ready. At his nod, I cautiously climbed up and stuck my head inside. After my eyes adjusted to the dark, I breathed a sigh of relief, because there was a teenage girl at the back of the room by the window. There were empty tins of food lying all around her, but she was still too thin. Of course we were all a little thinner than we had been, but she looked like she was starting to starve. She was probably 17 with brown hair and was huddled there alone holding onto her german shepherd that was maybe a year old. They made quite the pair. 

I took out a bottle of holy water and rolled it across the floor towards her, and she picked it up, but didn’t open it. “Its just water holy water. I want to make sure you’re not possessed. I need you to drink some. It won’t hurt you if you’re not.” She took the cap off and smelled it before she poured some out into her hand for her dog to try and decided to hold off on drinking it herself. _Good girl. Trust no one at first._ I still wasn’t getting any closer to her until she drank it. 

“What’s the hold up? As fine as your ass is, I don’t wanna be staring at it all day.” 

I looked back down at Stephen. “Shut up. I just want to make sure she’s not possessed. Her dog’s not . . . well, dogs can’t be, but still. I’m just waiting for confirmation.” When I looked back at the girl, she rolled her eyes and took a sip before she put the cap back on and went to roll it back to me, but I stopped her. “Hold onto it. You look like you could use some. I can’t imagine you’ve had much in the way of fluids if you’ve been up here for a while.” She took the rifle she’d been aiming at me and laid it across her lap, so I climbed higher. “My name is Beth. My friend Stephen and I took care of a nasty zombie problem you had around here. What’s your name?” 

She looked past me towards the opening, so I assume Stephen had climbed up and wanted a look for himself. “Carrie, and this is Jasper.” 

I stopped about 6 feet away when the dog growled at me. “Wanna get out of here? We have to make a stop in Ann Arbor to pick up some medical supplies, but after that, we’re going back home where it’s safe.” I kept my eye on her dog. He was just being protective, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t a threat all on his own. “If you want, you can come with us. We know how to protect you, and you can bring Jasper too.” I didn’t get an answer, which made me like her more. “Okay, well . . . I won’t force you to come, but it’s your best bet. There are more than zombies out there. Vampires, werewolves and demons are real, and so are just about every other kind of monster you’ve ever heard about or never heard about, and they’ll be coming out more now that the zombies are heading south. We know how to kill them too, but it’s not as easy as it is with the zombies. It doesn’t just take a bullet with them . . . well except the werewolves, a silver bullet to the heart works on those . . . with vamps you have to cut off their head, and my angel blade will do the trick on demons. But if you want to stay here, I totally understand. I just thought I’d offer, since we’re here.” I backed towards the door. Stephen didn’t look happy, but he climbed back down to let me out.

“Come on, Stephen. I think Carrie’s gonna stay here.” I walked past him on my way to the stairs. 

“What? We can’t just leave her here. She’s the first person we’ve found in 2 weeks.” 

“I know. I gave her all the facts, and she has the right to make her own mind up on whether she wants to stay here and try to make it on her own or not. I won’t take someone against their will.” I tried to sound more confident than I felt. I knew she was probably still listening, and I was still trying to let her know that we were safe. She wouldn’t think that if we went up there, shot her dog, and dragged her out. I nodded towards the stairs to indicate he should follow me, and then walked down to the front door. When I got there, I only stopped to make sure we were still clear before I opened it and walked outside. 

I’d nearly made it back to the truck when Stephen came out broodingly with what looked like a torn pant leg. I assume that came from Jasper after Stephen tried to persuade her his own way. It was then that I heard a shout from the window upstairs. “Wait! We’ll come too, but we’re riding with you, not him, and I need to grab my stuff. I’ll be down in 10.” 

I crossed my arms and smirked at Stephen. “I think she likes me more. We should keep tabs on how many survivors we each bring along too. Oh, and I got 14 Croats back there. What was it you got? 7?” 

I climbed in my truck with a bigger grin when he said, "You're on. I'll make it up with the next survivor we find . . . Oh, and I'm still up by 6 for the trip." Stephen was growing on me. He’d been good company out on the road, but there was no way I was going to let him win the croat killing game. 

Carrie and Jasper were a nice addition to what had been an empty truck. She was almost 19 and had been in her senior year of high school, but she knew how to handle a rifle, since her dad used to take her out duck hunting. She brought it with her, and I made sure she had enough ammo at hand to feel more comfortable. The last two rounds of her own ammo had been spent on her parents when they were overrun by croats on their way to the house from one of the barns. She’d only had enough time to grab all the tins of food she could find for her and the dog and make it up to the attic with Jasper before the croats started breaking through the windows at the back. That’d been two weeks before we got there, and the Croats hadn’t left since. She was incredibly lucky they hadn’t found her or set the place on fire, because they should have been smart enough to do that back then. 

Finally after almost 3 weeks out on the road, we pulled up outside the Ann Arbor city limits. “So, why are you and your boyfriend coming here?” 

“I’m not interested. He’s not my type. We’re here for medical supplies for our camp.” I wasn’t really paying attention to her. I was trying to listen past the wind as it blew the truck from side to side. The sun would be setting soon, so we’d be here past dark. I looked for any movement near the trees or buildings along the road and didn’t see anything, but it didn’t feel like we were alone. 

Another big gust of wind rocked the truck, and Carrie quickly asked, “Why not? He’s hot. Do you already have one?” She was just trying to calm her nerves by making conversation, but I was caught off guard by the girl chat when I had a job to do. 

“What? No. I, uh, it’s complicated. Nobody will ever match up to what I have in whatever way I have it with somebody else, so nobody has ever been or will ever be my type other than him.” When I thought about what I’d said, I went to go meet Stephen at his truck before I had to say anything else about it. I still wasn’t built for those types of conversations or really to even think about those types of things. I guess my soul hadn’t been rebuilt enough for that yet? If she wanted to talk about boys then by all means I’d be up for hearing about it and give advice and tease her about it, whatever, but no way was I getting into anything about my feelings about him with anybody, including myself. 

Stephen rolled his window down when I got there. “There’s been a slight change of plan. I need you to stay here with Carrie. We didn’t save her just to hand her over to croats in Ann Arbor. If I’m not back in 3 hours, I need you to take her and go back. You can’t wait around for me. It feels like we’ll be getting snow tonight or tomorrow morning.” 

He looked up at the sky and nodded. “Yeah, I didn’t want to say anything if it meant you having to leave behind your medical supplies, but I was thinking we should start heading back soon too . . . When it does snow, I think it’ll be a lot. Feel like this place has eyes too . . . not liking the idea of bringing her in there either. Think you can handle it?” 

“Yeah . . . I have to find some way of making up my croat numbers. If you have to leave without me, stop and get those farm animals. Find a trailer to put them in and have Carrie drive it. She grew up on a farm, so she should be able to do that, or you could have her drive this.” He looked at the city and then at the back of Carrie’s head before he nodded. Keeping her safe and getting those animals and supplies back to the base before it snowed was important, and he’d been with me long enough that he knew I could handle myself. We’d really made massive improvements to our relationship the last few weeks. I headed back to Carrie and asked her to go wait in the other truck. After she left in a bit of a huff and called Jasper to follow her, I took fuel for my truck from the back of Stephen’s truck, just in case I needed it, and drove to the hospital loading bay. 

There were a few Croats here and there inside the hospital, but they were spaced evenly enough for me to get rid of them without any problems. I wondered if they were here because there were survivors somewhere nearby, so using my flashlight, I checked every room I passed looking for them. The electricity was down in the town, and the generators had run out in the hospital. The place looked like it had been in a state of pandemonium at some point. I guess sick people were easy prey for Croats. 

Aside from looking for survivors, I cleared out their pharmacy of everything it had, just like I had in a few of the pharmacies we’d passed on the way there, because we didn’t know the age or ailments of any future survivors we might bring back to the camp. Then I found where they stored their sedatives and narcotic pain meds. We might need more anti-anxiety meds and anti-depressants for people. I think the end of the world was a pretty good reason for people to start taking them. Atropine pens for people with allergies were a really important thing to get too and inhalers for asthmatics. Birth control was another big thing we needed, and different women had different preferences, so I got them all. I couldn’t grab blood or plasma, because with the power being out, I had no idea if the blood had frozen every night and thawed every day or if it’d warmed up too much for some reason. It was better not to chance it, but I did get all the things we’d need to start our own blood drive and grabbed a small fridge we’d be able to stock it in at the camp if we had generators set up now. I ran through my lists and searched out harder things to find, because the hospital was a pretty decent size. 

I found the insulin, and ran into a similar dilemma I had with the blood as far as being unsure about whether or not it’d been kept at the right temperature. I’d grabbed some in the other pharmacies we’d hit, but I decided to stock up on it here too and label it, so we’d know not to use it until everything else had run out. It was probably slowly going off in other hospitals and pharmacies around the country, and we were running out of time to get it, because we didn’t want it to go through repeated freeze-thaw cycles. That was really detrimental to the protein structure and function. 

I needed to set up a lab, so I could grow up stocks of E. coli strains used to make insulin the way pharmaceutical places did . . . There’s no way I could get their bioreactors, but maybe I could make due with some smaller fermenters. Hopefully, pharmaceutical companies would still have frozen stocks of those specialized strains if their generators still worked, but if they didn’t, I’d have to clone my own insulin genes into the right E.coli strains and make my own. I did stuff like that for my Heaven-sponsored Master’s degree. I should be able to do it again, right? It’d be harder and take a lot more time than just getting the pharmaceutical stocks though . . . maybe I could stop off at some biotech companies and get some cloning kits to make it faster and more exact . . . it’d still take a while to do it that way, because I had to find those company’s distribution centers. Maybe I could eventually try my hand at some monoclonal antibodies for other serious illnesses, like cancer and autoimmune diseases . . . Until then, the already made insulin and monoclonal antibody stocks in hospitals would have to do.

I made several trips out to my truck and thought I needed more than the medications, so I ran to get more equipment, like heart rate monitors and anesthetics, both local and general, and oxygen and masks and surgical equipment and a couple of beds. Maybe some day the clinic would be big enough for the x-ray machines and CT scanners, but it wasn’t yet. I didn’t know where we’d put them, or how we’d make sure they were used safely with our limitations on construction, or even how we’d power them or have people who knew how to use that sort of equipment, because I sure didn’t. I still grabbed the EEG machine, because I was somewhat familiar with that, and it wasn’t as big. I found some of their supply cupboards, and took what I could in the way of gloves and and catheters and sutures and syringes of every kind and cleaning supplies that would kill anything.

I’d just loaded up the last of the things I wanted and was wheeling them towards the exit using another bed I’d found when a woman and a young man, who was maybe 19, walked in front of me. It was still dark, but with my flashlight, I could see that the kid looked terrified, and I assumed his mom was too until I realized that the guy was actually scared of the woman. Looking up to her face, I realized why when she placed a knife to the boy’s throat, and her eyes went black. “Look what we have here. There are a number of interested parties looking for you oracle.” _Well . . . At least they aren’t calling me North Star anymore._


	14. Vengeful Vampires

Dean was ready to go less than an hour after the radio call from Chuck. He just had to wait for Rufus and Bobby to come back with the snow plough. He told Adam he couldn’t bring him with him, because he was the only one he trusted to help Bobby run the camp and keep things going if the weather became an issue. Things at the camp after Beth left may have started out rocky, but after their fight, Adam had been his go to man on making sure things got done. Leaving him behind would give them both a chance to see how Adam handled the pressure of being a leader at the camp. Dean was pretty sure he’d be fine. He thought Adam might come down harder on the people than even he did . . . maybe not as bad as those first few days, but definitely harder than he was on them now. It’d be a good learning curve for Adam. He’d get it eventually. 

While he waited for the snow plough, Dean decided to do a final walk through of the camp with Adam, so he could give him some last minute orders. Somewhere near the east wall, he was in the middle of telling Adam something when a stabbing pain ripped through his left tricep and was immediately followed up with a sharp throbbing pain along his hairline. It caught him off guard, so he hissed and reached up to feel his forehead. “Dude, you’re bleeding.” Dean pulled his hand away to look and found blood on his fingers. 

_Oh come on, Beth!_ He knew without having to think about it that this was down to her. His initial reaction from the shock of it had been to be pissed that she’d done something to get hurt and had dragged him into it, but his anger only lasted a few seconds. _At least she held off this long._ The people here at the camp, and the group of survivors he had to go find needed him not to lose his shit. 

Whatever happened to her, it didn’t get worse, so he had to assume she was fine and had taken care of it. He’d know soon enough if she hadn’t. She was still in the same place she was the last time he checked. _She’ll be okay. She’ll be here when I get back, and things will be fine._ He kept telling himself that until he believed it.

Adam had to give him 4 stitches, because Dean couldn’t exactly reach the one on the back of his arm himself, but the cut on his head wasn’t bad. It wouldn’t even leave a scar, but it was swelling into a bump. At least he didn’t have a concussion. Adam kept looking at him like he wanted to say something, but didn’t until they were walking towards the snow plough as Rufus drove it in behind Bobby’s truck. “Does Beth know?”

He glanced at Adam and shook his head. “I didn’t know ‘til just now, but I’m fine with it . . . And she’s not going to find out. We can’t lock her up, and she’ll still go on missions. It’ll make her too cautious if she has to worry about what happens to me every time she’s in a fight. She’ll hesitate, and that would be worse for both of us.” That’d always been her argument, right? Made sense to him now. She couldn’t do anything about it, because it was permanent, so why tell her if it meant putting her at greater risk? Adam didn’t look convinced but nodded that he understood. 

“Well, you should probably get going before the snow starts.” Yeah, that was gonna slow them down, and those people couldn’t afford to wait much longer. Dean ran through the list of things to be done one more time with Adam before getting into the driver’s side door of the plough and leaving with Rufus. 

They got through Minnesota and half of North Dakota before the first flakes started falling. It was coming in from the northwest and would probably hit the camp in around 7 or 8 hours if it kept moving east. From the looks of things, they were looking at a full-blown blizzard. Having to drive around abandoned cars in the snow on the way back would be a bitch, but they couldn’t worry about that now. 

Rufus liked to talk about past hunts, and it kept them both awake. Dean liked Rufus and his ‘no bullshit’ attitude when it came to the hunt. Rufus was a good man to have around, and to Dean he was more valuable to have with his experience than a dozen hunters who were younger. If you combined what Rufus knew with what Bobby knew, it was like they had 2-dozen all-stars in the hunting community available to them in the form of 2 men. But Dean sure as hell wouldn’t ever tell either of them that.

Since they were the first ones clearing a path through the snow, it slowed them down the further west they went. Maybe their tracks would still be there when they went back, but with the wind blowing it all over the place, that wasn’t likely. It took them almost 24 hours to get there, so who knew how long it’d take to get back.

When they pulled up outside Great Falls, Montana, Dean filled up the truck again, like he’d had to do a couple of times already. Now they’d be able to go in, kill some vamps, get the people, and get the hell out of dodge before any more snow fell. Chuck said there would be about 10 in the nest, but who actually knew. Hopefully the prophet could count to 10 if he couldn’t count past 60. 

Following the directions the man had given Chuck over the radio, they wound their way through the backroads until they found the ranch they were looking for and maneuvered the truck right over where the bunker should be located. It’d save them time on having to dig the people out. They’d blown the element of surprise with the sound of the truck, but it didn’t matter, because they were prepared. They had their dead man’s blood crossbows and tranq darts ready to go. 

The first vamps came at them from the house, so that was probably where the rest of the nest was. Dean shot 3, and Rufus got 2. They took their heads before moving on to the house. It didn’t take long to make it to the door. The vamps had apparently decided shoveling the sidewalk leading up to it was the most natural thing in the world for them to do now that they didn’t have to squat in abandoned buildings. The windows were lit up with candles. These vamps were living in the lap of luxury while the family that rightfully lived here was huddled in a bunker underground. 

How the vamps hadn’t found the family yet, Dean didn’t know. Maybe they got here after most of the snow had fallen and assumed the lingering human scent came from migrating croats. They should’ve been getting hungry without a food source, but with as comfortable as they seemed to be in there, Dean didn’t think it’d been that long since they’d fed, which meant they’d killed more survivors that could’ve been saved. That they thought they could take their place at the top of the fucking food chain and live it large without any consequences stoked his anger as he got to the door and kicked it in while Rufus went around the back to get any that tried to escape.

Immediately in the door, Dean shot a vamp at the back of the room full of dead man’s blood and swung his machete to the left to take the head of another. One grabbed him from behind and picked him up, so he kicked off of a chair, causing he and the vamp to crash onto the floor. It let him go, and he rolled onto his knees before bringing the machete down through its neck. He heard something come up behind him, and turned. Reaching his arms up to catch the vamp running towards him, he used it's momentum to flip it over his shoulder and body slam it onto its back. It brought its arms up in a protective position, so it took a little longer to kill that one. He had to hack through the arms before he could chop off its head. After it was dead, he stood to go over to the one he’d shot. 

That one now crossed off his kill list, he turned as he caught movement from his peripheral vision. A smallish vamp about Beth’s size with similar hair took one look at him and decided not to bother. She bolted for the back door, and as soon as she stepped out, a slice of metal cut through the air and her head came rolling back into the house as her body fell forward out the door. Dean knew Beth was in central Indiana, so it didn’t faze him much. He wondered if Beth being in Indiana meant she’d had to go south to get around the snow. Maybe that meant getting back to the camp would be as much of a pain in the ass as he’d thought it’d be. 

Rufus came in through the back with a big grin. ”So, you couldn’t handle 5 without letting one get away? When I was your age, I could have taken on twice that many.” 

“And now look at you. You’re lucky if you can take out a small one running out the back.” 

They cleared the house and didn’t find anymore, so it was time to go let the family know they could come out. The man seemed unsure at first with the blood covering Dean, but Rufus explained that it was from the vampires. After that the man laughed before saying that before the end of the world, he never would’ve believed that something like vampires existed. His name was Dan.

Dan said that he and kids wouldn’t have lasted much longer down there. They’d already run out of food, and Dan hadn’t had any idea how he was going to get more. He was just lucky that Chuck managed to pick up his call somehow. Dean wouldn’t have thought the radio could cover this distance, especially in the snow. The kids were small, and Dan said he’d put his two kids in his lap, so there should be just enough room for all of them in the truck with Rufus and the other kid sitting in the middle. 

Everyone was in the truck, and Dean went to climb up to the driver’s side door. He was telling Rufus he could drive when they hit Minnesota where there’d been more abandoned cars when he was pulled backwards and turned around to face a final vamp. Before he had time to do anything, the vamp rubbed its already bloodied wrist on Dean’s mouth seconds before Rufus took its head. 

Dean wiped the blood from his mouth and glanced up at Rufus. The older hunter didn’t say anything, but he was waiting to see if it got in his mouth. Dean slowly shook his head to let Rufus know it was over. Not wanting to become one of those things, and knowing it was now or never, Dean gave Rufus the nod to let him know it was all right for him to finish him off. Rufus had it in him to keep these people safe and make it back to camp without him. 

As Rufus raised his machete, Dean thought about Beth and hoped that she would survive this like she had the last time. At least now she wouldn’t have to be as connected to him as he was to her, and it might save her life in the long run . . . unless he was sentencing her to death because she was already there. He was about to back out of it until he knew for sure what would happen to her, but Rufus wasn’t waitin’ around, and that’s when Cas appeared out of nowhere and grabbed Rufus’s arm to stop him. “You don’t have to do this. There’s another way.” 

Dean turned to glare at the cab when Dan spoke up. “Oh, yeah, had no idea what he meant, but Chuck told me about this a few hours ago.” _Well, that would’ve been good to know before I got turned into a goddamn vampire._


	15. The Race to Get Back Home

I discreetly reached my hand towards what I needed on the bed, so I could deal with this. “Yeah? Which way are you leaning? Maybe I could help you with your decision.” 

She was watching me closely, so I wasn’t able to move much and had to stop when she grabbed the kid and made a show of having him kneel in front of her.

“I wouldn’t try anything if I were you. I’ve heard you’re tricky, but I also know enough about you to know you wouldn’t want me to use this kid to practice making Columbian neckties on either.” _What good is flying under the radar if you get a fucking reputation?_

“Oh, I don’t know. You shouldn’t believe everything you hear. Anyway, you never answered my question. Just who wants a piece of me, or who should I ask have you decided to go with on your little venture.” If our little chat didn’t work in the next 30 seconds, I’d have a tough decision to make. Keep my knowledge of the tablets safe, so someone doesn’t use it to destroy everything ever created, or let this poor kid die? It wasn’t a decision I wanted to make. 

“Let’s just say there are 3 that I’m aware of at the moment. I won’t deal with the angels, so it’s a toss up between the King of Hell and a new upstart in Nevada.” 

“Well, if it were me, I’d think the upstart would be more promising. More room for upward movement within the organization.” Now that she was talking, I started inching my hand forward slowly while maintaining eye contact. 

“That’s what I thought too. Things have gotten stale in Hell, and I’m sick of the politics. The new crowd offers a rewards program for fresh meat suits. They need them for top-secret experiments or trade from what I hear. The leader is tough but fair supposedly. To find a way in, I thought I’d get in on the ground floor with a couple of meat suits, but they’re just so hard to find anymore. I grabbed a couple of associates and a few watchdogs to help me and asked myself, ‘Where do people run in a crisis?’ Hospitals. Haven’t found many humans. Just this boy and the meat suit I’m in now, but if I brought in the oracle . . . Boy, I think I’d get the job and be upper management in no time.” _Stop calling me an oracle. I never was one, and now I’m definitely not. I have no idea what the future holds._

I hadn’t come across her associates yet, but I knew what to do with her. I leaned forward to rest my elbows on the bed in a conversational way that didn’t seem to make her suspicious . . . demons were dumb. “Do you have any idea who’s in charge of this new group?” 

She smirked. “You know him very well . . . You could say he’s practically family.” _Sam. It has to be him. It fits. He wants me back after realizing his mistake with Crowley. It also means he’s using his powers again otherwise demons wouldn’t be working for him. Shit. What do I tell Dean?_

The demon mistook my silence as acquiescence and asked, “So how do you want to do this?” 

“Well, I was thinking that I would walk out of here with two meat suits instead of the one.” I brought up the devil’s trap gun and shot her in the shoulder before she could make a move on the kid. She was pissed off and let me know it, but I ignored her while I finished the exorcism and then ran over to help them. 

“Hi, my name is Beth. I’m sorry I shot you. It was the only way I could keep you alive and get rid of the demon. It’s probably in Hell telling whoever will listen where we are, so we have to get out of here before I can take care of your shoulder.” The lab equipment would have to wait for another mission.

The woman nodded to let me know she understood and said her name was Dr. Thomas. Until we got somewhere safer, she’d take care of her shoulder herself. I smiled when I realized we finally had a doctor for the camp. Now I just had to get her there. 

“I don’t know where the other demons are, so I think it would be best if we break out that window over there. You two can climb out and go to the truck, while I bring the rest of this stuff out. Think you can make it?” She nodded again before using the young man to help her stand. “Oh, sorry.” I turned back to my bag for a bottle of holy water. “Here’s some holy water in case you see the other demons when you get out there. Fling the water on them, and it should buy you time to get to the truck. Don’t waste your time throwing it at the zombies. It won’t do anything to them. There’s food and more water in the truck, and it’s warded against demons, so once you get inside stay there.” 

After telling the guy he was in charge of making sure the doctor got to the truck alive and well, I set about breaking the window and laying my jacket over the glass to keep them from being cut. He went out first, so he could help pull Dr. Thomas out while I pushed. When we had her up and out, I started giving them directions to the truck when something grabbed my feet and dragged me back in through the window, causing me to cut my arm on broken shards of glass before I banged my head off the ledge to the window sill. 

I didn’t feel the injuries or have time to worry about how much I was bleeding. I just had time to quickly roll onto my back while bringing my gun up to face my attacker. _Demon._ Without thinking, I shot the first one in the chest as it reached down to pick me up before I shot the one behind it in the shoulder. Sitting up, I looked towards the window and told the doctor and young man to go, because they’d frozen when they saw me get pulled back through the window. 

When they’d gone, I did the exorcism before going to check on the people I’d just shot. They both looked like college kids. The young woman would survive the gunshot wound, but the young man . . . _Why didn’t I go for the non-lethal option?_ I tried in vain to stop the bleeding. “I’m so sorry.” I knew, he knew, and anyone who saw the situation would’ve known that he wasn’t going to make it. 

He struggled to put his hand in mine, so I stopped and gave him my undivided attention. “Thank . . . you . . . Now . . . I can be with –“ He never got to finish it. _He can be with whom? Be with his family? His girlfriend? His dog? What?_ I felt like I had to know. I hoped his family wasn’t a family of croats now, because they wouldn’t be anywhere but Hell when the virus was done with them. I felt so bad for him. He had no idea how close he’d been to finding somewhere safe to go. I closed his eyes and took a deep breath, so I could replace what I was feeling with a calm exterior before I turned to the girl, whose name was Steph, and helped her stand. Her shoulder was bleeding a lot, and I wasn’t sending her out the window by herself, so I let her sit on the bed, while I wheeled it to the doors. 

We’d nearly gotten to the front door when I heard gunshots outside. I looked at my watch briefly and saw that my 3-hour time limit had come and gone about 45 minutes ago, so clearly Stephen hadn’t listened to me. 45 minutes wouldn’t keep him from getting back much later than he would have gotten back if he’d left when I wanted, and maybe he could help transport a person or two with him to make it more comfortable for the people I’d shot. I was grateful he’d stayed and fully willing to admit that I’d been wrong to tell him to go, but stowed my emotions even on that. I had no idea what was on the other side of that door, so I had to be ready for anything. I gave Steph a gun and told her to shoot anything that wasn’t me and to keep an eye out for anything that might come up behind her, not just through the door. Then I checked my magazine, reloaded, and pushed through the exit door. 

There were a handful of Croats trying to get into the truck, so I decided to start there and took out four near the driver’s side. With those down, I side stepped around the back of the truck to take out another two that were on the passenger’s side before I dodged to the left as one came flying at me from the right. Rapidly swinging back around for the headshot, I nailed it, but before its body had even hit the ground, another one knocked the gun from my hand. 

I kicked that croat away, grabbed my angel blade from my thigh sheath, and stabbed it in the head when it lunged at me again before I immediately ducked down into a ball when I heard one sprinting up behind me. It fell over the top of me and landed on its face, so I leapt forward, landed on its back with my knees, while grasping the hilt of my blade with both hands, and brought the point down into that croat’s head too. I wouldn’t have been able to take out another one that came up on my left at that exact moment without some fast reflexes, but I didn’t have to test how fast mine were, because that’s when Stephen took it out. 

It gave me enough time to pick up my gun and get rid of the last one left that I could see. After making sure there weren’t anymore in the immediate vicinity, I ducked down as I ran through the doors in case Steph tried to shoot me, grabbed the bed and Steph, and pushed them to the back of the truck. I tried to help her into the truck the best I could, but mostly depended on the guy in the truck to do that while I kept watch. Once they were all in, I told them to stay there, while I moved to the back to try and get the hospital bed loaded. I struggled with it until Carrie came to help and then she helped me strap down everything and cover it all with a tarp. 

“Thanks Carrie. Where’s Stephen?” 

“I told him Jasper and I weren’t leaving without you, so that douche took off without us a little over two hours ago. I knew you were going to the hospital. It took a while to find it, but we did, and then we found where you parked and hid over behind those trees in case you needed any help. I started shooting when I saw the croats try to get the people in the truck.” I was really pissed off that he’d gone without Carrie. She was a teenager, and he’d left her here with no idea how many Croats or demons there were in the area. What if she hadn’t found the hospital? I could’ve left her here and never known about it until I got back to the camp. 

I didn’t let how pissed off I was with him show, or at least I tried not to. Instead, I let Carrie know I appreciated what she’d done for me. “Well, then I guess I have you to thank for saving my life just now.” Then I pulled her into a hug and dumped some holy water on her head. I stepped back and said I really was grateful despite the way I showed it before I explained I was just making sure she wasn’t possessed. She’d been on her own out here and there were demons hanging around. She wasn’t possessed, so that was good, because I really didn’t want to shoot her if she was. 

We all piled into the cab and Carrie whistled for Jasper who came bounding down from behind some bushes and jumped up to join us on the floor of the cab. Steph and Dr. Thomas said that there were more demons around than the three I found. _What are they waiting for? They had to have heard all the gunfire . . . Maybe they’re all waiting for you to leave, so they can follow you . . . What about their meat suits? . . . I don’t have anywhere to put them, but maybe we could find another vehicle? . . . No, the demons I exorcised are at the very least telling Crowley I’m here, and that dickhead teleports as his go to method of travel. We have to go._ I decided to head out on the south side of town. If any demons saw Stephen leave to the north and I headed south, it’d confuse them as to which way our camp was if they even thought we had a camp. 

We drove south until we were nearly in Lima, Ohio, and then went west for about an hour before we found an old farm where we could stay for the night. I told Carrie to put salt lines under the windows and doors and went to help Steph first. She was in the worst shape. Dr. Thomas had stopped Steph from bleeding to death while we were in the truck, but I knew what to do to help Steph now, and the doctor needed to rest until I could get to her. 

Steph would need physiotherapy to improve the strength and flexibility in her shoulder, and I could give her what had worked for me, but I’d shot her in a place away from the artery where I’d been hit, and might’ve screwed up her range of motion a little. I hadn’t had time to think of shot placement . . . I couldn’t have shot her anywhere that would make it better, because even the foot would cause problems, but at least she was alive. If she really needed blood, I could give her some of mine, since I was a universal donor. 

When I was satisfied that Steph would be all right without a blood transfusion, I moved over to the Doctor. She was pickier with what I did, but it was her body, and she knew what I should be doing, so I followed her directions and fixed her too even though it took more time. 

The two most important jobs done, I went back to the truck to get some paint and canned tins of food and brought them in for Carrie to heat up using a gas powered camping stove Stephen and I picked up on our way to Michigan. While she did that, I set about painting devil’s traps at the doors and windows in case we’d been followed and then I painted a few angel wards that Cas had taught me. I’d nearly forgotten about the angels with everything else going on between Sam, Crowley, croats, and monsters. 

Wards finished, I settled in to eat with the others before telling them that we’d have to give them tattoos before we left. After everything the people we met today had been through, the sooner we did it the better. Carrie and Devon, the boy whose name I hadn’t gotten before we left the hospital, thought it was cool, but Dr. Thomas and Steph both took some convincing, which was funny, because they were the ones that had been possessed. They finally gave in when I showed them the tops of mine and explained that it would help prevent them from being possessed again.

With that decided, I went back out to the truck to get the supplies I’d need. I was actually glad I’d taken the time to pick up something like this on my travels to Ann Arbor. I’d intended to use it for the people at the camp, but it worked now too. 

By the time I finished the tattoos I was exhausted. Steph was already asleep, so it was just the Doctor, Carrie, Devon and I that were awake. They shared their ‘end of world’ stories, and when they were done, Devon turned to me. “So, how’d you know all this stuff?” 

I smiled as I thought of my training. “I was trained by the best hunters alive. That’s what we’re called, hunters. People like us have been around for a long time. We kill things like witches, ghosts, demons, vampires, werewolves, and everything else you’ve ever heard of in fairytales and myths and a lot of things you probably haven’t. Dean, the man that runs the camp where we’re going . . . he killed Lucifer the night before all this started. This whole zombie Apocalypse would have been a lot worse if Lucifer was still up here.” 

Devon nodded like it made sense, but two months ago, they wouldn’t have believed me. He asked me how I got into it. _How should I answer that?_ “Every person who becomes a hunter has a story that took them from being oblivious to the things that are out there to knowing about them. Sometimes they’re people that were saved by other hunters, sometimes they saved themselves, sometimes they witnessed something that was done to their families or friends, but all of them decide that they can’t go back to their normal lives and ignore the problem. They try and prevent the bad thing that happened to them from happening to other people or sometimes they do it out of revenge.” 

“Yeah, but how did you get into it?” _Sam knocked me out, and I opened my big mouth? The angels kidnapped me, and God let me go after I killed my evil twin?_

“It’s a long story, and the hunters I’ve met don’t want to get into it because of the trauma associated with it. I, uh –“ Carrie cut me off and told Devon I obviously didn’t want to talk about it and asked me a different question instead.

“Have you ever been possessed?” I didn’t really want to talk about that either. 

“I have two tattoos, because someone stabbed the first one and forced a demon into me. The tattoos work unless something like that happens. It wasn’t like what happened to Dr. Thomas or Steph, because the demon didn’t have control of me, and I was aware of everything. It was just in me, so a guy who had the ability to torture and kill demons using his mind, could torture me with it to try and get me to talk. I didn’t talk, but Dean and and our friend Cas, who’s an angel, saved me. Otherwise I’d be dead.”

Devon wanted to know who would do that. I picked at my jeans and said, “Sam Winchester. He is Dean’s younger brother, but he’s not at the camp. I suspect he’s the one running the Nevada camp that demon was talking about back at the hospital.” Man, Devon was inquisitive, because he asked what Sam wanted to know and if Dean would be a problem. “Sam wanted to kill the first demon ever created, and I knew where she’d be. Killing her seems like it would be the right thing to do, but it wasn’t, because killing her released Lucifer. I knew that’s what would happen if she died, but Sam didn’t believe me. He still found out where she was after he left me and killed her . . . you remember that ‘attack’ outside of Baltimore last year with the blast of light that shot into the sky?” Devon shook his head no, but Carrie nodded and Dr. Thomas looked like she remembered it, but didn’t want to admit that she did, so I said, “Well, that was Lucifer being released . . . And no, Dean’s not a problem. He’s a good man. He’s the best hunter that’s ever lived, and he’s the only way that humans are going to survive all this.” 

I didn’t want to talk about it anymore, so I let them continue on for awhile until the Doctor who’d been watching me said, “Is all of this how you know how to be a combat medic?” 

_You’re giving me too much credit._ “Well, every hunter knows how to do it, so it’s how I have experience, but the science behind it, I got from being a PhD student in Biomedical Science.” 

She felt compelled to say, “Those who can’t do teach,” which was typical medical doctor speak for we’re better than you.

“Well doctors may be the mechanics, but PhDs are the engineers.” She snorted at that, so maybe she had a sense of humor in there somewhere. She’d need it if she were going to be our camp’s doctor. She was only in her early to mid-40s, so she’d be our go to person for medicine for a long time until she could train in people from the younger generations.

We stayed where we were until the next night, so we could take advantage of the dark to travel and to allow the two gunshot victims time to rest a little more. In that time, it’d begun to snow, but it wasn’t too bad. What took time was getting around the abandoned cars, because there were a lot more down here than there had been in the less populated route that Stephen and I had taken. I wondered if Stephen got back to the camp okay. I had the feeling that the snow was worse up North. 

We’d been on the road for about an hour when my sat phone rang. It hadn’t rung the entire time I’d been out. It was meant to be something I used to call the base if I had an emergency, but the people at the base weren’t necessarily supposed to use it, because if I’d been hiding from a demon or croat, it might give my position away. I’d nearly forgotten I had it. 

I pulled over to answer it, so I didn’t drive us off the road in the snow, and Bobby was on the other end. “Now Elsbeth. I don’t want you to worry.” _Shit. He only ever calls me that when something’s wrong._

“Not a great way to start if you don’t want to worry me, Bobby.” I climbed out of the cab for some privacy. 

“Chuck just had a vision, and he says that Dean’s going to be turned into a vamp.” 

“What the fuck do you mean Dean’s going to be turned into a vampire? He’s supposed to be there with you running the camp. I can only assume that means he left or there’s a nest of them heading towards the camp. A whole camp full of people should be able to take on a measly nest of them, so I take it he left, and he did it without a sat phone, or you’d be calling him.” _Why the hell was Dean so distracted that he forgot a fucking phone? Why didn’t I try to find him in the last 24 hours using my Dean tracker? Where is he? . . . Well, why the hell is he in Montana?_ I think I finally understood a little how he felt when I took off and did things like this. 

“Elsbeth, I told you not to worry. Dean had to go out and get some survivors in Montana that Chuck found on the radio, but Chuck says that him bein’ a vampire won’t stick. He says you’re gonna be able to help him, but he’s not sure how. He thinks it’s related to the special things you know, and that’s why he can’t see it. I need to ask you a question like we used to do, okay.” _Why the hell is he talking to me like I’m a child or a hysterical woman? I’d love to see him talk to Dean this way . . . Calm down, and he won’t do it anymore._

“Okay, Bobby. Ask me your question.” 

He must’ve heard from my tone that I’d gotten into angel-calm territory, because his tone changed to his normal gruff voice when he asked, “Do you know how to cure Dean from being a vampire?” I knew the answer to his question and a few more memories unlocked that weren’t related to this, which threw me a little. 

“I, uh, I don’t know the specifics, but I know what I need to do to find out. Tell Chuck to let Dean know however he can that it can be fixed, and Dean has to bring a vial of the blood from the vamp that infected him back to the camp, but Dean can’t drink any blood whatsoever or it won’t work. Tell him not to do something stupid, and tell him I’ll have the cure for him once he gets back to the base. How much time do I have?” 

“Chuck says you have about 3 hours, but it’ll take them a day to get back here after that.” I didn’t respond before hanging up and dialing a number I hadn’t rung in almost 2 months.

\--------------------------

When Cas didn’t answer after a couple of attempts and a few prayers, I got back in the truck and kept heading west while continuing to dial. At least if he picked up the phone, I’d know he was listening, but prayers were a little one sided. He should be getting my calls, because if he talked on the phone with Dean and Sam while they were in Heaven, then should work now too. 

I was nearly through Indiana, and my time was up. Nobody in the truck was saying anything. I think they knew better than to ask me what was going on just then. Finally, I got through. “Beth, now is not a good time.” _Huh, I really can call Heaven. Reception’s not great, but it works._

“Cas, I need your help. Dean is going to be turned into a vampire soon if he hasn’t been already. I can fix this, but I can’t do it without you. I know you’re busy up there, but I wouldn’t have called unless I needed you, and I do. Please meet me where highway 24 meets County Road 300 South outside of Reynolds, Indiana.” I slowed down as I approached the junction hoping that my plea had worked. 

My passengers gasped when he appeared on the side of the road, but I barely noticed. I was too busy stopping, so I could get out and run up to give him a massive hug. I realized then how much I missed him, and he must have missed me some too, because he awkwardly patted my back. 

I told him where Dean was, asked him to make Dean didn’t do something stupid, like let whoever was with him kill him, and gave him the same instructions I’d told Bobby to give to Chuck in case they got lost somewhere along the line. Cas disappeared and was gone for a few minutes before he came back and said that Dean had been told, and then he wanted to know how else he could help. “Can you to take me to the Campbell family library, as in Samuel Campbell, Dean and Sam’s grandfather on their mother’s side? The cure is in a book there. I just need to tell the people I found that I’m going to be gone for a couple of hours. Is it safe for me to leave them here?” He told me there weren’t any croats or demons nearby, so I ran back to the truck to fill them in on what was happening. I stressed that they couldn’t let anything take the truck, whether it was human or not, and to aim for knee if it was human. I gave them all a gun just in case, but told them that Cas said the area was clear of demons and croats, so they should be okay. The last thing I said to all of them was that Carrie was in charge before I left with Cas.

We’d been looking through the archives for at least 2 hours and still hadn’t found anything. I was getting antsy and needed to break the silence. “So, Raphael must be the reason I was up there if he’s the one that is against Michael now. I knew it had to be someone with almost as much authority as Michael. He’s probably looking to get me back more now than he was before Lucifer was killed, right?” When he didn’t say anything, I glanced at Cas to see if he was listening. 

“We know. I will mark all of the people at the camp, so they can’t be found. Michael has agreed to allow me to stay with you to keep you and Dean safe. He didn’t want me to go, but I reminded him that it was part of the agreement we made when I said I would return with him to heaven.” I smiled and threw the book I’d been looking through to the ground before reaching up for another one. 

“I think you’re one brave angel, because I’ve seen what he does when he’s angry.” 

Cas responded with a small smile and a slight shake of the head. “Believe me. That was a good day compared to how he’s been lately.” I paused to look at him before tossing that book onto the floor to grab another one. 

“Wow, maybe it’s better for you to be down here with us if your boss is on a warpath . . . You know once we shut Sam’s operation down, we could help you out with the situation in Heaven. I know angels like to take care of angel matters, but we’ll help if we can. I have the feeling we’re all going to have to work together if we want to save God and everything he or she created.” I looked up from my book to see what he thought about that, and he was watching me before he grabbed another book and wanted to know what I meant about Sam, so I told him about my theories on the Nevada camp. I flipped through a few more pages of the journal I had and was just tossing it on the ground when Cas said he found the cure. 

I rang Bobby to let him know we had a cure but decided then and there that I didn’t care if the cure didn’t work. He’d always be my Dean, and I couldn’t lose him . . . no, I wouldn’t lose him because of this. I’d keep him as my hunting partner, and we could go back to working on the fringe of what was left of society to save humans, except I’d have to make sure he didn’t eat them along the way . . . What if humans became his new pie? If that happened, then he’d have to go on a diet, and I never thought I’d say that, but then I never thought I’d have to make sure he didn’t eat humans. Speaking of pie . . . I hadn’t had a chance to make him any like I told him I would. What if he never got it again? I guess it’d save me the time required to make it for him. We’d probably have to leave the camp before Rufus or Stephen killed him or he killed them. Maybe I could get Bobby to distract them, and Adam would come with us . . . Bobby asked me if I was okay, because I was quiet for too long, so I said I’d be fine when I saw Dean again and asked him if he had all of the ingredients in the list as I called them out to him. He was missing a few of them, so I asked Cas if he could go find them, and he nodded before transporting me back to the truck and telling me to wait for him until he returned. 

\------------------------------

“I thought you said when you were putting up those wards that angels were looking for you, so why is he with us?” I glanced at Devon and then put my attention back on the road. We were heading north, and the snow was getting bad. I don’t know what he was complaining about. Cas was in the back of the truck keeping watch over us. He gave them all markings on their ribs, which probably didn’t endear him to them, but he’d also healed the doctor and Steph. 

“Bad angels are looking for me . . . Cas isn’t bad. He’s the friend I told you saved me more than a few times and helped us fight against his brothers and sisters and demons and everything else we’ve faced in the last 2 years. He’s like my big brother. He helped the Doctor and Steph, didn’t he? He’s here to keep us safe.” _How could anyone question Cas? Just look at how cuddly he looks._

Next, it was Steph’s turn. “Maybe we’d be safer away from you and the camp if this Dean is a vampire.” 

“You honestly think being out here on your own is better than being with a group of people who know how to protect you and who can teach you to protect yourselves? No, you won’t be safer anywhere else, and I’m going to cure Dean, so everything is going to be fine.” I said it calmly even though inside I was beyond annoyed. I’d been explaining things to them since the first night I found them, and ever since I got back with Cas after finding the cure, I’d been trying to keep them from wanting to be left alongside the road. They were the only reason we were still in this damn truck that didn’t have a plow instead of having Cas just take all of us back to the camp, because they hadn’t trusted him to do that. I didn’t want them to get to the camp and take off the first chance they got if they were forced into doing something they didn’t want, so here we were driving. 

“I trust Beth. If she says Cas is okay and this Dean will be cured, then I believe her. What I care about is whether this camp is going to be full of hot men like the two I’ve seen, because between Stephen, the jerk, and Cas, the angel, I’m sold.” Carrie was quickly becoming one of my favorite people. She had a lot of promise and would eventually be a good leader when it came time for the next generation to take over. After that the rest of them were quiet. 

When we pulled up to the gates of the camp, I was floored by the amount of progress they’d made on the wall. It was about 3 feet high on the West, and they’d made a good start along the northern wall. They’d also been keeping the trenches clear and poured the cement for the foundations and banks all the way around the camp. _Oh look. They built all the guard towers too . . . and the greenhouses . . . and the generators are up and running._

Adam came out from the cabin and straight up the door with a huge grin, and man was it good to see him. I stuck my arm out and let him run the tests on me even though I assumed Chuck had told him I was fine. I wanted to let the others know it didn’t hurt. After we all passed, I pulled in through the gates and hopped out to give him a hug as the others in the camp came to help unload the truck and meet the new people. 

I introduced Adam to the survivors just as I spotted Stephen’s truck parked to the side. “So, Stephen’s back? Did he bring the animals back from that farm we found? I know he didn’t listen to me when I told him to keep Carrie safe, because he left her there alone in a city full of croats and demons.” 

Adam ducked his head and said, “He just got back about 6 hours ago because of the snow. He said he didn’t have room for them and gave us the coordinates, but I sent him right back out with Bobby to go get them. They’re not back yet, but I was thinking that I’d give him extra night guard shifts for coming back without you. I could change it to be for him not watching her if that’s what you want. Either way he’s working nights for a while.” That sounded good to me. 

“Make it for leaving Carrie. I told him to leave early to beat the weather back, so it’s okay that he came back without me, but he shouldn’t have left her. If she hadn’t found me, I could’ve left her there and never known about it until I came back . . . tell me about the wall.” 

Adam said most of it had been Dean, but he’d been in charge with Bobby, since Dean left. They were keeping the snow away using tarps and the digger. I was impressed with both of my guys and Bobby and the rest of them really, but thinking about how much Dean had accomplished while I’d been gone also brought home the seriousness of what I had to get ready before he got back. I left Adam to talk to Cas about putting Enochian symbols on everyone here who didn’t have them yet and headed into the cabin to get the ingredients for the cure from Bobby.

The longer I was home, the more I began to feel noticeably agitated. I eventually had to lock myself away upstairs in Dean’s darkened room with the cure and told Cas to wait down the road and bring Dean up there when he got back. I knew some of my anxiety was because I was worried about him, but a lot of it had to do with our connection . . . I wondered how much more I would experience with him this time, because this was an internal change to him rather than an external power, like Pestilence or Famine, trying to attack him. Turns out it was entirely different. 

It felt like my senses were on high alert, and at one point, I wondered if I would have to use the cure on myself. _No, that’s dumb. None of the diseases Pestilence hit him with actually infected me. All I got were the symptoms. This is the same as that . . . Is it? It feels completely different._

I felt worse the longer it went on. It was a hell of a lot longer than the five minutes the Horsemen were with him. I had a lot of time to cycle between worrying that I was turning and there was no cure for me to reminding myself that couldn’t happen to feeling like I was losing control, so I tried meditating to clear my head and sat on the floor with my eyes closed and my back against the bed. Meditation got harder to do when I kept getting distracted by knowing the exact location of everyone in the house and the growing headache I felt as my senses picked up even the smallest of sounds and smells. 

_At least we don’t have mice . . . Chuck is nervous and shuffling through his papers . . .Where the hell did the person standing outside the back door get a cigarette? I could use one of those right about now._ I could hear the heartbeat of individual people coming into and out of the house along with each of their thundering footsteps. Meditating by simply trying to clear my head wasn’t working, and that wasn’t surprising because that’s not what I did when I was in pain. I needed to focus on something specific and try to block everything else out. I focused on what the men on the gate were saying, because they were far enough away that I could listen past the noise in the house, and it gave me a chance to catch up on camp gossip. 

An hour or two later, I listened to the guards change shifts, and then heard the subtle sound of footprints that were too fast and too soft in the snow and the sound of a window opening down the hall before someone snuck almost silently into the room. I kept my eyes closed and smiled. “Hi, Dean.” I turned to look in his direction. _He certainly makes a hot vampire._ He looked really intense standing there in the darkest part of the shadows. If he was trying to hide from me, it didn’t work, because I could still see him just fine.

I got off the floor, so I could sit on the bed and asked, “When’d you ditch the truck?” I still wasn’t scared of him. I’d never be scared of him. 

“I hopped out a few miles back. They’ll be awhile. How’d you know I ditched it?” _Nothing ever gets by him. Might as well freak him out while I can._

“I’m pretty sure I heard you go around to the east and hop up the bank, but you probably could have gotten up the wall along the southwest if you wanted. There weren’t any patrols near either place.” 

He took a step forward with concern and forgot about trying to hide from me. ”Are you turning?” 

“No. This is my side of our connection . . . like with Pestilence and Famine. You’ve just never seen it. The difference this time is that I’m not sure I’m helping all that much since what you’re feeling is a change of your genetic make up. I’m fine . . . All the perks of experiencing it without the risks involved.” He looked conflicted. He wanted to move closer, but was still trying to keep his distance. 

“On a scale from 1 to 10 of me wanting to turn the cabin into a buffet, I’m at about a 7.” _That’s not me._

“That’s all you. If I had anything to do with it, I’d be siphoning some of that hunger off for you, and I don’t have an appetite for anything . . . except the pack of cigarettes that whoever keeps going outside the back to smoke has. Did you bring the blood?” He pulled out a little tub of Tupperware with red gloop in it and went to toss it to me, but I patted the bed next to me and said, “You could be a 10, and I still wouldn’t be worried that you’d hurt me. I still trust you the same as I did when you bought me cake.” 

He came to sit next to me and handed me the syringe, so I turned to add it to the rest of the cure I had sitting on the nightstand. When it was done, I went to hand it to him, but he put his hand on my arm to stop me. “If this doesn’t work –“ 

“If this doesn’t work, you’re going on a diet. You can’t eat whatever you want anymore.” He shook his head, so I added, “Dean it’ll work. Trust me.” 

He took the cup and looked down at it. “You’re sure you won’t need this?” 

“I wasn’t given any vampire blood, and I don’t think I’m turning. If you think I am, then there is no cure for me other than you changing back, because there is no blood of a vamp that turned me to use for a cure. If I drank that, I’d definitely turn because of the blood in it, and then we wouldn’t have a way to cure me unless you want to go all the way back to Montana to get more blood. The bucket is over there when you’re ready, and it is not going to be pleasant, just to warn you.” 

He took the cup from my hand and sat back to look at it again before he exhaled a nervous breath and downed it in one go. Nothing happened, so he got up and was in the middle of saying it didn’t work and we should leave when he fell to his knees. Good thing he was already near the bucket. What happened after that was . . . let’s just say him transitioning back into being human was not easy on him. 

The only affect it had on me was that had I been standing, I probably would have dropped to the ground the same way he did as the pressure that’d been building in me all day disappeared all at once. When it was over, I clumsily tried to get to my feet, but my legs were wobbly, so I ended up having to crawl to him. Looking down at him on the floor, I shook my head in mock disappointment. “Shame really. I was looking forward to you and I being mixed-species hunting partners . . . maybe not so mixed-species though, huh?” 

Dean rolled his eyes and groaned in response, and by then I was okay enough to help him get up and over to the bed. Adam had heard the ruckus and came up to check on things, so I handed him the bucket and told him to take it far, far away. After he left, I stayed with Dean and helped him out when he’d let me, which wasn’t much. Mostly just to get his toothbrush and mouthwash for him. I didn’t care if that’s all he’d let me do. I was just glad I had him back.


	16. Decompressing

It hadn’t really hit Dean that it was over yet. He was just trying to soak in the peace he felt for as long as he could. Beth was sitting with her back against the headboard and had a hand resting on his shoulder, while he was curled up next to her with his head in her lap and his arm draped across her thighs. He could stay like this for days if he had a choice in it. “What happened with your arm a couple days ago?” 

“I got pulled through a window by a couple of demons. It didn’t hurt. The only reason I knew I’d done anything to it at all was because I saw the blood on the glass, but I was a little preoccupied at the time and forgot about it. By the time I had a chance to check, it didn’t look like much and seems to be healing okay now. I didn’t even need stitches.” _That’s new. Did it heal on her when Adam gave me stitches?_ He must’ve at least taken the pain for her too if it didn’t hurt her at all. Maybe it was like what she did when she took his symptoms for things that tried to infect him, except he took her pain? He could live with that. 

It made his thoughts return to what happened to her a little while ago. Beth was fine now like she said she would be. For a couple of minutes, he thought she was as much of a vampire as him and had stopped just shy of asking to see if she had fangs . . . she would’ve known if she had those, and she would’ve told him if she did. It really was just because she was tied to what happened to him. Maybe he’d been right way back with Famine when he said she’d gone from 0 to 100 on their connection, and this is as bad as it would get for her . . . But what if it wasn’t? What if there was something else that she picked up along the way that could destroy her and neither one of them saw it coming, because she wasn’t at 100 but 80? Or where was her soul regrowth at these days? That had slowed down, but she couldn’t have far to go. What if that not being finished was the only thing keeping her safe from him? How was she even doing that anyway? Did it tie in to their connection at all? Until he could figure this out, maybe he should cool things off on their arrangement instead of pushing for something more like he’d wanted to do before she left.

He slept through the next day, because he remembered it getting bright, but it was dark again when he woke with a start when he felt a hand brush through his hair. He tensed until he realized where he was and who was doing it and relaxed back onto her. Had she slept at all, or did she stay awake at her self-appointed post keeping watch over him this whole time? Either way, it looked like she was done waiting in silence and had decided to talk. “So, I think that we should think of this as a safety drill that we failed if you were able to get in here so easily.” 

“Yeah, the problem is we don’t have enough people that can hit a moving target. We need to have people posted in the guard towers around the clock, more patrols going out around the area and guards on the gate. Wasn’t hard to get to the cabin after getting in here either. We need some kind of a security system that’ll let us know if something breaches the wall.” He reluctantly pushed himself up to sit on the edge of the bed now that the real world called. 

Beth rolled to get off the opposite side of the bed and went to grab her bag for a shower before nonchalantly saying, “Good. So you won’t mind that I picked up a guard dog on my mission. He has the extra senses we need for a low-tech security system.” 

He turned to look over his shoulder at her and had to suppress a laugh as she picked through her bag looking for something . . . or that’s what she was pretending to do. She’d led him right into that one. When she glanced at him, he turned away from her, so he could play along by saying what she was expecting him to say without giving away that she could have whatever she wanted. “Thought I had a rule about no dogs.” He hadn’t really liked them much since those Hellhound bitches tore him to shreds, but he knew she wanted one with as much as she talked about her fake dog from before she met him. 

“That’s in the car. We’re stationary here.” 

He got up to stretch and forced his voice to sound a lot more negative than he felt. “What are we supposed to feed it? We barely have enough to feed the humans we’ve got.” 

“Already taken care of. I stopped and got as much dog food for him as I could find in a couple of pet supply places after we picked him up. He’s got a lifetime supply, I think . . . well unless it goes off, but I put it somewhere dry, so it should last a long time.” 

“Fine, but it stays outside. It has a job to do, so it’d better not slack off, or it’s gone.” 

She walked over, wrapped her arms around him in a hug and compromised on their deal. “He stays in the house unless he’s working. Carrie, his owner, might just be the only reason I’m standing here right now, and the only reason she was kept safe was because of Jasper, so I think we kind of owe him.” There was more to this that she hadn’t told him yet. He finally agreed to her terms and then asked her to tell him the whole story. 

When she was done telling him about finding Carrie and the dog and about everything that happened at the hospital, he knew the only thing she was upset about was that an 18-year old girl was left to fend for herself in a town of croats and demons. He was pissed that Stephen left early, because if Beth had gone out expecting backup, she wouldn’t have had any, and expecting help to be there but finding that it had left you high and dry was worse than not having backup. He didn’t know what to think about what she said about Sam. 

He didn’t want to believe that his brother had started doing experiments on humans and using them for trade . . . _Sam traded them before . . . No, what he did to Beth was a one time thing . . . Was it though? Sam did it, because he thought the prophet kid was more useful than Beth . . . but this? Thinking every human left out there is a slave for him to steal and trade . . . Sam’s the one that thinned humans out with the virus, maybe this was why he did it . . . No. Just no._ He couldn’t let himself believe that Sam would do this. It was hard enough knowing Sam wasn’t here trying to help him save people because he was off on some mission of his own, but it was asking too much for him to entertain the notion that the two of them would have to go head-to-head over the humans that were left. Since Beth wasn’t 100% sure because demons lie, he’d let it go until they had proof. There was something else he could take action on right now though.

With that in mind, Dean stormed out the bedroom door and down the stairs until he found Stephen lounging at the kitchen table with a few people he didn’t know and Deacon. Stephen turned in his chair at the sight of someone approaching and was in the middle of saying that it was good to see Dean up and around when Dean hit him with a right hook that caused the other man to topple over backwards and land on the floor. Then Dean pointed down at him and made no effort to hide his anger as he said, “I told you that you only had one job while you were out there and that was to protect Beth. Pretty sure I told you it wouldn’t be easy, but you left the first chance you got. No more missions. And when you’re not pulling double shifts on the wall, you’re taking on extra guard shifts until you learn that we work as a team, and you do what I say.” Having said everything he needed to say, Dean pushed past a snickering Adam and silent Bobby as he headed out into the winter night so he could cool off, but being alone didn’t clear his thoughts on Sam at all. 

20 minutes later Beth came out after having her shower. Her canvass satchel was slung over her shoulder, and as she passed by him, she knocked into his arm to get his attention, but kept on walking. “Follow me. We’re going to have one of our nights out, just the two of us. I think it’s something we both need.” 

He didn’t say anything, but those nights were done and over with just like everything else. He still followed her to see where she was going with it though. She took him straight to the hunter’s shack. The first thing she did was put batteries in the record player and point towards the albums she’d gotten him last year. 

While she moved things around in the background, he put on Led Zeppelin II. It felt like it’d been years since he’d been able to hear Ramble On . . . or anything else. Every time he sat in his baby to start her up and let her know he hadn’t forgotten about her, make sure she kept runnin’ in the cold, and to maybe remind them both what it used to be like when they were out on the road, somebody always came out and interrupted them, so he never got to listen to anything anymore. 

When he turned around, Beth had a pack of cards and was setting up a chessboard on the table between two of the reclining chairs. When she had everything where she wanted it, she hopped into one of the chairs and looked up at him with a smirk. “We’re going to play both, and you’re going to explain how it is that it’s not cheating if you only ever beat me at poker doing that thing you do, and we’re more like 50/50 on playing chess.” Then she pulled out a bottle of whiskey and two glasses from her bag and put them on the table too. Yeah, it was different than it used to be, but he could work with this.


	17. Running a Camp Isn't a One Person Job

The day after Dean and I had our first real night out in over a year, we decided we should set up a council that would meet twice a month. If anything ever happened to us, then the camp had to be prepared to manage itself, and setting up a council so more people knew what was going on around here seemed like a good idea. The council would be made up of the team leaders I’d originally put in place, the hunters, the leaders of the outposts, and Jody. 

It should help to prevent unrest among the general population. It’d allow people who wanted their voices to be heard a chance to do that. They could talk to their team leaders, who they worked with on a daily basis, and the team leaders could bring their concerns up at these meetings if they couldn’t answer them on their own. On top of that, the other members of the council could all gave their input on decisions being made, and that was important, because there was a lot of experience around that table that could be utilized to make things better, but not if we shut them out. Dean still ran things and had final say, like a general would, but now he had advisors to help him do it.

For the first meeting, they all walked in not really knowing what to expect, because we hadn’t told them why we were meeting. After we explained our idea for the council, they all relaxed, pulled up chairs, and said they thought it was a good idea. Council approved, Dean brought up the idea of having Jody be in charge of setting up a code of law and enforcing it in the camp and outposts. Since she knew the most about the old laws, he thought she’d be the best person to draw up the new laws, but he wanted her to take into consideration the new world, where not everything was the way it used to be. 

When she was done with her first draft, we’d discuss the new laws/rules she came up with in the next council meeting and decide what should stay and what should go. As far as coming up with ways of enforcing the rules, it looked like extra chore duties were the way he wanted to handle things for now, or if it was a serious offense, they could go in quarantine, but he didn’t want anyone behind bars for ‘stupid’ things, like fighting. She said she’d do it, but it’d be a full time job coming up with a whole new system of law and enforcing it, especially if we got more people, and because she was looking after Tamara and Jimmy too, she asked if she could be taken out of the running for going out on supply runs. 

Dean said he didn’t have a problem with that if nobody else did, and everyone agreed with him, so it looked like Jody, Olga, Chuck, and Tatiyana would be our members of the council that would be here at the camp permanently, which was good, because if anything happened to the rest of the people on the council, then at least those four could keep things running and make decisions. 

We set up what the outposts roles were next. They’d pitched in on things like area patrols, would help with things that benefited everybody, like building my clinic/hospital, and would follow the laws, but they already ran themselves as individual camps and had their own buildings and walls to construct, albeit to a smaller scale. They were going to start up their individual enterprises, and we would continue to bring them more people and supplies, because we, at the main camp, were the only ones going out to do the supply runs for now.

When that had been decided, Bobby cleared his throat to get our attention and weighed in with his own question. “Since we’re talkin’ about it, how’re we doin’ these supply runs now? Cuz I can already see the two of ya are plannin’ on leavin’ again soon, and you’ve both only been back a couple of days. One of ya came back a vamp, and the other must’ve forgotten how to eat while ya were out there.” He paused and gave me a look that told me to shut it when I went to say I ate just fine . . . He just wanted to have something to give out to me about too. “I’ll tell ya right now you two need to start splittin’ up your runs so it ain’t just the two of you tag teamin’ on this thing and takin’ whoever wins the lottery as your partner. You’ll get burnt out, and that’s no good for any of us. You’ve got some good people here that were doin’ this a long time before this virus struck and who want to get out there and see what we can do to help find the livin’.” 

Dean leaned into my shoulder to ask me if I wanted to take this one, since he’d been fielding everything else up to that point. Yeah, I could do that. “Until the wall is built all the way around the camp the way it is along the west wall, one of us will always be here, so Chuck’s prophecies can give us fair warning if something is heading for the camp. But that doesn’t mean that one of us will always be out there either. Sometimes we’ll stay here together . . . We want to get another snowplow, so we can start having two teams go out at a time. The two teams could search in opposite directions to cover more ground. It might be best to put a time limit of 2 weeks per run on it, and we’ll all have to stick to it every time we go out. The next teams out can start their search where the team before them had to turn around, so we don’t retrod already searched areas and can keep moving forward. Things are functioning here at the camp well enough that we can all jump in and cover groups that the team leaders are responsible for while the team leaders are out on a run. These council meetings are useful for keeping everyone up to speed on that too.” 

Dean added, “Yeah, I was thinkin’ it might not be a bad idea to map out where we find monsters and demons on these runs . . . We could add it to the maps you started to keep track of what areas have been searched for survivors and supplies. I wanna know if monsters are out there dividing up territories. We don’t know where the snow ends and the croats begin either.” Bobby and Rufus liked Dean’s monster map idea and Stephen, while standing on the sidelines, was actually listening and throwing out ideas along with the rest of them, so he seemed fine with how things were going now as long as we were filling all the rest of them in on it too. The last thing we decided was who would be going out on the next mission. Bobby and Rufus signed up first, and somehow Dean got he and Adam signed up for the other truck.

Dean was doing a weapons inventory and packing his bags in his room a couple of days later when I finally caught up with him. Adam’d had to run through his mini-hunter training program with me, because I’d be taking that over once they were gone. “You know . . . Since we agreed to take turns, technically you got back after me the last time, so it should be me going out now.” I closed the door behind me and kept my going away present hidden behind my back. 

He checked one of his guns and put in his bag before distractedly saying, “Yeah, well . . . the last time I was only out for 2 days, so it doesn’t really count.” _Something seems off about him. Maybe he really doesn’t want to go? Or that’s what it feels like._

I dismissed my misgivings and walked up to him. “The last time you were out I thought humans were going to become your new pies.” He stopped and looked at me like he was going to say ‘that didn’t change that he’d only been out 2 days,’ but didn’t and went back to his packing. _Maybe my gift will cheer him up? Why is he making me nervous? Maybe he’s nervous about something? _“Anyway, it got me thinking, and I haven’t actually made you any pies . . . not human pies, I mean real pies, but I’d told you that I would. So, I made you this one to take with you, so you don’t have to share it with anyone at the camp . . . unless you want to give some to Adam. It’s probably not as good as Karen’s, because I suppose I’m a bit out of practice, but it should be okay . . . if you don’t want it though, I can go –“__

__I stopped when he finally turned to take it. He looked down at it, but didn’t say anything, so I turned to leave. _Well, that didn’t go the way I expected. Why’d he start going weird when either one of us has to go out on the road? The last time he was pissed off at me. Now he’s not talking._ _ _

__“Beth, wait.” He took a deep breath and put the pie on top of his bags before walking over to me. “Listen, I’ve been thinking . . . maybe you and I should go back to the way we were before since Lucifer’s not a problem anymore.” _Uh, okay. Definitely not the reaction I was expecting for the pie._ _ _

__I took a deep breath to ask what he was talking about, but then the he wrapped his arm around me and pulled me into him for a kiss that started out slow and tantalizing before it picked up in intensity, and I found myself up against the door with him pressed into me in all the right places. Just when things were about to go somewhere, he stopped and moved off to the side, put his forearm on the door, and rested his head against it while he caught his breath. “I, uh, this is what I’m talkin’ about. It isn’t gonna work.” _Really? 10 seconds ago things on him were working just fine. Maybe that’s not what he meant?__ _

__“What’s not gonna work? You guys aren’t leaving for another hour, right? We can take our time if that’s what you need.”_ _

__He snorted and kept his head against his forearm, but used his other hand to point between he and I. “No, this . . . isn’t gonna work.” _How far does he want to go back? Pre-casual agreement? That’s a bit shit really.__ _

____“Why not?”_ _ _ _

____He pushed off the door and went back to his bags without looking at me. “I think that it’s happening more than it should if it’s casual, and casual is what we agreed to when we started this.” _Why do I feel like . . . I don’t know . . . I’m being reprimanded? He’s the one that has always initiated things between us. Well, almost always, and definitely since we’ve been at the camp and especially in the last couple of nights._ I didn’t know how I felt about it . . . That is until I got it. _ _ _ _

____He’d backslid into that mentality where he felt like he needed to end things to protect me, which made me feel irritated with him for thinking he could just go back to that now that Lucifer was dead . . . especially because Lucifer died months ago, and I was even more annoyed with me for allowing myself to walk into that minefield again. I was done with the flip-flopping, even if his intentions for doing it were good, because he wasn’t giving me a choice in deciding what I wanted. The only choice I seemed to have was how fast I agreed to things getting physical the next time he felt like it, but we both knew I wasn’t going to turn him down, which meant he was calling all the shots._ _ _ _

____“So, we’re talking pre-casual agreement here?” He didn’t answer and just kept packing, so I said, “No.”_ _ _ _

____He put something else in his bag, and refused to look at me. “Thought you said you weren’t a clingy weirdo.” _He can be a dick when he wants to be._ _ _ _ _

____“I’m not a clingy weirdo. I meant this time I’m going to move my stuff downstairs while you’re gone.” That got a reaction._ _ _ _

____He threw a rolled up shirt on top of his bag, like he was pissed off that I’d said that and turned to face me. “That’s not what I want. That doesn’t have anything to do with this.” _Yeah, it does._ _ _ _ _

____“Sleeping in the same bed as you every night doesn’t exactly sound pre-casual . . . or casual. You want me as a friend, and nothing else. I get it. Message received over and over again. If it helps you stick with it this time, then I shouldn’t be around as much. We’ll just - “_ _ _ _

____I stopped when he went from being pissed off to looking like I’d wrecked the Impala. He used my pause to walk up to me and put his hands on my shoulders while he bent down to my eye level and backtracked on what he’d been saying. “Look, all I want is to cool things off for a while. Go back to it just being casual. I don’t want anything else to change.”_ _ _ _

____I could’ve argued that. He always did this. He’d say something and then I would agree because it made me uncomfortable and then he’d change his mind right after I did. I didn’t argue it though. I was more than a little surprised by his reaction. It wasn’t what he was saying that caught me unprepared. It was what I felt coming off of him. It’s like I could feel his emotions as strong as if they were my own._ _ _ _

____He felt like I was leaving him, and like he’d messed up and couldn’t fix it. For some reason he felt like he’d have more time than this and that what I’d said meant it was really over. I’d blindsided him somehow, and he was scared he wouldn’t be able to get it back . . . there were also a lot of feelings of self-loathing, like I was right to want to be as far away from him as I could get and that I’d finally figured out whatever it was that made him think I should._ _ _ _

____You wouldn’t know it to look at him . . . but the intensity of what he felt at the thought he was going to lose what we had made me feel guilty, because I was too stupid to understand this thing we had . . . A part of him had been counting on being able to pick things back up again even though at this moment in time, his protective side was winning out, which is why he’d said he wanted to stop, but sleeping in the same bed . . . it meant a lot more to him than I thought . . . He needed to be able to think of this as our bed instead of his bed, even if one of us wasn’t there. My offering to take that away to make things easier for him had upset him a lot. Me saying I shouldn’t be around as much made it worse._ _ _ _

____There was a lot going on under the surface, and he was almost as good as I was at hiding it. To me we just were what we were, and I didn’t want to think about it. It confused me, but if I didn’t try to understand it, then I was going to hurt him, and that’s the last thing I wanted to do. For now I had to put Dean out of his misery, so I nodded before saying with a slight smile, “Yeah, okay . . . but when you say cool things off do you mean before you leave, or when you come back, because I think we should still have a good 45 minutes if you want to start when you get back.” He took me up on my offer, and I’ll just say it more than made up for what happened before it._ _ _ _

____\----------------------------_ _ _ _

____After they left, I found myself in charge of a camp that I had to keep running without the other 4 main leaders, i.e. Bobby, Rufus, Dean and Adam. The easiest team to deal with was the greenhouse team. It was hard a hardworking team but more relaxed than any of the other groups. I figured dealing with plants and gardening was relaxing for them._ _ _ _

____With the roads being blocked because of the snow, the book squad didn’t go out anymore, so they were another easy team, because they were in charge of cataloguing what they’d brought in all those weeks they’d been collecting information and also of binding loose sheets they’d printed off the internet to make books. Now they were making a library out of all of it. There were literally tons of books and papers to keep them busy, and the people on the supply runs would be bringing back more books for them to sort through too, just like I brought back some medical books I found in Ann Arbor._ _ _ _

____I had Maeve in charge of starting up a camp store where people didn’t have to pay for anything. I took Frank off of the Book Squad to help her, since I knew he was good with keeping books. If people needed blankets or soap or plates or socks or anything like that, they could go to them to get it. She and Frank would keep track of what was given out and to whom, so the people going on supply runs knew what needed to be stocked up on in the future. People could also place orders with Maeve that we would try to fill when we went out._ _ _ _

____Dr. Thomas was taking over the inventory of all things medical. Yuri and Ivan were the ones in charge of the food stores and keeping track of what we had and what was used, and nobody ate other than at designated meals, except the kids, who got snacks in the afternoons. Everyone was well fed because they needed energy to be able to do the work they had to do, but excess wasn’t given out, and people didn’t necessarily always get what was wanted. Yuri and Ivan worked closely with the greenhouse team headed by Hughie, and they were also a part of the team responsible for food preparation along with their wives, Marco, Maxine, and Janie._ _ _ _

____Ivan, Yuri, Cas, Stephen, and I kept up the weapons training and added sparring to the training at night. Some of the adults were getting good enough that they could at least go on patrols and stand guard in the watchtowers and gates, so that helped fill the gaps in our defense. I had Cas in charge of the guards and patrols, because he was well suited to that with him being a soldier, but also because he could sense if something like monsters or demons were in the area when nobody else could, and he never needed sleep, so he was like a 24/7 supervisor. He and I talked a lot when we did night shifts together. More of my memories were starting to come back after Bobby helped me remember the vamp cure, and the memories I was remembering weren’t necessarily all about that TV show. A lot of them were about my time in Heaven._ _ _ _

____Cas tried to do what he did before to block them, but it didn’t work this time. He seemed concerned, but not really worried and said it was meant to be, but he’d be around to help keep what I knew about the tablets safe when I remembered where they were. I’d really missed him and liked having a chance to spend time with him. I don’t think I could have run anything without him being there, and I told him that, so he knew how much I appreciated him being with us instead of with Michael._ _ _ _

____Mini- and teen-hunter training was the highlight of my day. They were great, and there were definitely some young talents, like Carrie and surprisingly enough Devon. In her spare time, Carrie was training Jasper on sniffing out vampires using the bloody shirt Dean wore on his last outing. Dean didn’t know I had her using his clothes for that, so every time I saw her out there with it, I laughed to myself over what his reaction would be when he found out._ _ _ _

____The school had taken off, and the kids and teens were getting a sense of normalcy. They had to do everything that normally happened in schools, including homework. Sue stuck with teaching the smaller kids, but the rest of us chipped in and helped with the teens. Either the doctor or I filled in on Biology, Chemistry or Physics. I may have had Stephen come in from his wall duties for a couple of hours to teach all the kids English and History. I didn’t want to completely undermine Dean’s orders for Stephen working on the wall, but technically, I’d given Stephen the role of teacher before Dean gave him his orders. Ross, the Math major from one of the outposts, was there all day teaching and then stuck around for hunter and lore training. He didn’t have any survivors at his camp yet, so I don’t think he minded having human interaction during the day. We paid him in supplies, and when I took him home at night, I helped him for an hour or two with the digger, so he could have at least a trench around his camp._ _ _ _

____Chuck and I went to the other outposts every other day to see how they were getting on with things. The design of their walls was exactly like ours, but they were about half the length, so they were going up faster. The farms had taken the animals and animal feed. Roger, the farmer that got the sheep, had new lambs he was preparing for in the spring. They’d already been pregnant when Stephen and I found them. He also took the cows, because he had more room in his barns for them. He was planning on starting some breeding programs with the one ram and bull he had. Inbreeding would be a problem, but the hope was that he’d be able to build up the numbers enough that eventually it wouldn’t be a problem anymore. He didn’t have any other way of doing it unless we found other rams or bulls out there._ _ _ _

____Joseph, the other farmer, got the pigs and chickens and had a breeding program he was trying to get up and running with them too. We were still finding food in the supermarkets, so killing these animals to feed us wasn’t a necessity, which is why everything was going into breeding them. They were the only healthy, living animals we’d come across, and we needed to think about the future more than the present. Eventually supermarkets would get tapped out, and we’d run out of food if we didn’t start preparing for it now._ _ _ _

____We may not have been eating the animals we found, but we were getting milk from both farms, because Joseph had also taken the goats. They traded the milk with us for blankets and other things we found on supply runs, but I think they would’ve given them to us for free, because they had so much extra, and because we had the kids at our camp. They were both also starting to set up butter and cheese making ventures with some books I’d given them to read. I think those two outposts, especially the one with the cows, were where I was going to send the next adult survivors we found, because they needed the most manpower to keep expanding on their operations._ _ _ _

____The other outposts were encouraged to come up with things to do that played up to their strengths, like one of the women was good at sewing, so she’d decided her camp would work on making clothes and stitching any of ours that needed repairs in exchange for supplies we brought her. The other outposts came up with similar ventures, like fishing, and they gave Chuck updates a couple of times a day over the radio to let him know whether they’d come across anything that needed to be investigated by a couple of hunters from the main camp. They didn’t need that for the two weeks I was in charge, but it was reassuring to know a proper communication system was in place that would make things better for all of us._ _ _ _

____All those areas were great, and I got along fine with them. I even got along okay with Stephen after he apologized for leaving me in Ann Arbor early. He said he’d just been worried about the snow. When I asked about leaving Carrie, he said that she and her damn dog put up too much of a fight to stay, and he hadn’t felt like getting another broken nose or getting bitten by the dog again. It made me laugh, and we were cool. I needed him on my side anyway, because the most of the other people building the wall were a problem._ _ _ _

____They didn’t think they had to listen to me at all. Almost all of them were people I didn’t know, because they were the ones Dean had brought back with him on his first supply run. A lot of those people he’d brought back had been sent to the outposts, but there were about 8 of them left for me to have to deal with at the camp, and it looked like they had a couple of recruits, like Trish, and one or two of the first survivors we pulled out of the surrounding towns._ _ _ _

____The first couple of days, they worked, but they were slow even when I worked along side them. By the third day, the only ones working on the wall were Buzz, my friend from the bar, Will, the son of our first survivor, George, Stephen, and me when I came over to see how things were progressing. The rest of them just sat around and watched. Them not working cut into my time of helping the kids chop down trees and upended my schedule on a few other things too._ _ _ _

____That night I was pissed off and wanted to make a point, so I went to Ivan and told him the only ones on the wall that would be allowed to eat dinner were Buzz, Will, and Stephen, and then I told him why. He was a tough nut to crack, and I knew he’d stand firm on it even more than Yuri would. After Stephen and I grabbed our plates of food and went to sit at the table, we watched while Ivan rejected all of them one after the other before giving Buzz and Will food and then moving onto the other teams that had done their jobs._ _ _ _

____Stephen leaned into my shoulder when the wall crew tried Ivan again. “He remind you of the Soup Nazi at all?”_ _ _ _

____It made me snort. “Yeah, without the moustache.” That’s when the leader of the wall workers union came up to me demanding to know what was going on around here._ _ _ _

____I quickly pulled myself together, so I could be ready for a confrontation that I didn’t want my emotions to be involved in at all. “Well, Randy you and your crew decided that you didn’t need to work today, therefore you get no food. Everyone else here has put in the work, so they get fed. If you want to be a part of this camp, then you don’t get to be lazy and skate on by while everyone else does what they have to do to survive.” That made him furious._ _ _ _

____“Dean-“_ _ _ _

____“Dean’s not here. I am.” At that, I think his face grew a few shades redder, and a couple of the men flanking him put their hands on his chest to tell him to leave it, but he still leaned down on the table to be closer to me._ _ _ _

____“You’re not in charge around here, and I think you’ll find that tomorrow won’t be any different than today. Let’s see what Dean thinks of you when he sees you haven’t done a damn thing on his precious wall.”_ _ _ _

____Randy didn’t intimidate me. If that’s what he was going for with his posturing, he failed at it miserably. “I think you’ll find that I am in charge while Dean’s away . . . for example, Ivan didn’t feed you on my orders. Clearly, you must think I’m in charge otherwise you wouldn’t have come to me to find out why you weren’t being fed. You don’t want to work tomorrow . . . Fine, but you won’t be eating tomorrow night, and I’ll make sure that Cas, our resident angel who doesn’t need sleep, stands watch over the food the rest of the night and tomorrow night and however many other days it takes for you to realize that you will work on that wall. You choosing not to work on it, is putting everyone else here in danger, so I think it’s safe to say everyone else won’t take too kindly to that. And we’ll see what Dean does when he gets back and finds out that you didn’t work and that is why the wall hasn’t gone up as much as he’s expecting.” Randy then decided that it would be a good idea to spit in my food, which made Stephen stand up to confront him until Jody came up to impose her authority as the camp’s Sheriff to get Randy to go cool off outside._ _ _ _

____As Randy backed away, I noticed two of his cronies at the back looked less inclined to follow their leader out the door and decided to cull Randy’s herd. “Carl and Rob, right?” When Randy turned back around to try and keep me from talking to any of his people, Jody held him back with Stephen’s help, and the two men I’d addressed stopped. They looked conflicted, so I gave them my pitch._ _ _ _

____“You were carpenters? How would you two like to be in charge of helping me plan and start building the clinic we’re going to need now that we have a doctor and medical supplies? Dr. Thomas will give us a rough design of what she wants, and you can come up with what we need to do to get that done. Might not be a bad idea to start planning more cabins, because all the kids we find are staying in this camp, and the more kids we get, the more places we’ll need to house them. We might even need to build a school for them and a lab to start making our own medications and do lab work for the clinic. We could use your expertise to help with all that, but we’ll get it done either way, because we’ll be staying here for a long time and other survivors would be more than willing to do it. I need an answer now, and I’ll expect you to be men of your word if you agree to it.”_ _ _ _

____Carl and Rob looked from me to Randy to the other people in the camp who were watching the confrontation and finally at each other before Rob gave Carl a quick nod and Carl said, “Yeah, we’d like that. Be good to help with something like that.”_ _ _ _

_____That’s great!_ “Good . . . I’ll meet you at 10 tomorrow morning out at the wall, so the doctor can have more time to come up with her design. Then we’ll go to the outposts and meet the other carpenters, so we can start putting plans together with them . . . I may not have said anything until I was sure you wanted the job, but being the head carpenters in charge of the building team gives you a spot on the council too. You’ll stay here all the time the way Jody, Olga, Chuck, and Tatiyana do, so you’ll have to help run things if there’s ever a time when all of the rest of us are out.”_ _ _ _

____I may have came across as confident in the whole thing, and I was at the time, but afterwards, I realized I didn’t necessarily feel comfortable sleeping in the same house as Randy or his followers while I was on my own. I needed sleep. I’d been on the night shift the previous night . . . I could sleep in the Impala, but it was cold, and I could’ve slept on the floor of the food stores if Cas was standing watch, but Randy might see that and think I was weak, so I asked Carrie if I could borrow Jasper, and he slept up in the bed with me, because I was sure he’d let me know if someone came into the room. I laughed to myself again when I thought about what Dean would think of the dog sleeping in his bed as well as using his clothes for vampire training._ _ _ _

____The next day, we made a good start on the clinic. By the time we finished planning, it was nearly lunch. We still had quite a lot of cement leftover from the wall, so after that, we marked out where the foundations would be and got started on what needed to be done to level the area. The next morning we finished that, and by the end of that day we were able to pour the foundations. The day after that, we started cutting down trees to build it. We did that until the kids were out of school, and then the kids helped from then until it was time for some hunter training. The kids didn’t do anything major. Instead of helping collect firewood, they helped drag the trees towards the clinic foundations, and once there, the kids and I measured and shaped the logs the way that Rob and Carl wanted them shaped, and then we went back to get more trees that the other 2 carpenters from the outposts had been cutting down in the meantime. We had a pretty decent stack of logs by the end of that day._ _ _ _

____The wall crew was the same every one of those days. I’d let the wall union eat their leftovers from the night before for breakfast in case they decided to work, because they’d need the energy to do it, and I didn’t want to throw away food. I made sure they had lunch just in case they decided to help afterwards, but by the end of the day, none of them had worked, so none of them got their dinner._ _ _ _

____Buzz, Stephen and Will did all the work unless I found some time to come over and help, and then it was just the four of us working. At the pace we were moving, we wouldn’t get the north side of the wall done before Dean was back, but at least it was getting done even if it was taking ages. The same pattern kept up until the strike had been going for a week, and then the wall crew decided to work, but they did it at a snail’s pace, so they’d get fed but didn’t have to do much to get food. I was surprised it took them a week to figure that out, because I’d thought of it the first night before I went to bed._ _ _ _

____By the end of the two weeks, we’d only managed to get the North wall done, which was embarrassing considering it’d been 2/3 of the way done before Dean left. I knew I needed to get more done before Dean got back. I didn’t think it was fair for Buzz, Stephen and Will to have to do all the work for the rest of them, so I’d started spending more of my time on the wall, and I started reassigning Stephen to guard the gate every so often, so he could have a break from it. Yeah, it was overruling Dean’s orders for him, but Stephen had been a massive help the last two weeks, and he was the only other true hunter left at the camp with me._ _ _ _

____I’d offered to let Will spend some time in the greenhouses too if he wanted, because he’d been a great help as well, but he opted to stick with the wall. Buzz was the same way. The wall is what I was working on when I heard Stephen talking to Dean while they walked towards me. I knew it was Dean even though I hadn’t looked, because my Dean tracker had already told me he was there. I didn’t think he would be mad at me, but I felt like I’d let him down by not being able to control this group._ _ _ _

____The closer they got, I could hear what Stephen was saying. “What? No, she hasn’t given her a hard time at all. Max likes Beth . . . wants Beth to give her one-on-one training if Beth ever gets enough time to do it . . . says she figures it’s the only way she’ll ever get good enough to go out on the road, because Rufus and Bobby intimidate her. I don’t have the heart to tell her that if Rufus and Bobby scare her, she’ll never be put on the rotation, but who knows? Maybe your girl will be able to work miracles with her . . . Trish . . . I don’t really know her that well. I only met her the night before Bobby called, but she’s a problem. She’s almost as bad as Randy. Think she riles him up and stands back to watch what happens . . . doesn’t make any sense to me. Beth’s had no trouble with any of the other teams . . . but this wall . . . it’s not her fault . . . shy of beating Randy senseless, she’s tried everything to make it work . . . she joined in working on it when she could, but she’s been helping put up the clinic . . . only found out from Ross a couple of days ago that she helped him finish the trench around outpost 7. Don’t know when she found the time to do that.”_ _ _ _

____Dean asked how far along the clinic was. _He’s having Stephen debrief him?_ I found it interesting that Stephen was doing it without giving Dean any problems and without using his stupid fake hunter accent, but . . . _why isn’t Dean just asking me? Because I’m a screw up. Why the hell would he ask me anything?__ _ _ _

____“It’s dark, so you can’t see it right now . . . but the clinic is almost done. Foundations are poured, floors are done, walls are up, and the roof is on . . . just needs to be waterproofed and the doors need to be either made or found somewhere out there, and then they can start finishing off the inside.” Dean asked him something else that I couldn’t hear, but I could hear Stephen. “Yeah, she went to the outposts this morning like normal, then helped teach a couple of science classes for the kids and worked on the clinic most of the day . . . helped out in the greenhouse, skipped lunch so she could work out here on the wall without having to deal with the others and then went back to working on the clinic before she did the kid’s training. She was out here until it was time to do the adult hunter and lore training with me, and then she came back out here to work on the wall. It’s the same thing she did last night . . . I don’t know how many times she’s done that. I just know she spent most of last night out here on her own until Max told me later in the night that she saw Beth heading this way after the lore lessons, so Will and me came back out to help her . . . she wouldn’t let me work on the wall today, because I worked on it last night, and she would’ve sent Will to the greenhouse except he asked her if it was all right if he stayed . . . something about how his Dad would kill him if he saw him in the greenhouse after hearing what was going on with the wall crew.”_ _ _ _

____Dean asked him something else I couldn’t hear, and Stephen said, “It’s not like she went easy on them . . . she withheld dinner from them the first week until they figured out they could get fed by doing the bare minimum . . . Beth asked Jody, Shawn, Shane and the ones they’re training to be camp security to help shovel out the snow from the trench every day, because the ones on the wall won’t do that or anything else she tells them to do. She needed Buzz, Will and me to keep working on the wall, so it was either assign the snow removal to the wall security guards or do it herself . . . like I said short of knocking Randy out, she’s done everything she can . . . maybe I should’ve just let her do it when I saw her sizing him up a couple of times, but I thought it’d make things worse.”_ _ _ _

____That’s when Dean said from much closer in his normal voice, “Nah, she almost never gets into fights with people . . . probably just imagining what she wanted to do to him, right Beth?” _I knew he knew I was listening._ _ _ _ _

____I hefted another block into place and said, “Yeah, pretty much . . . I only hit Stephen that one time, because he tried to keep me from saving you.” Dean sent Stephen away and waited until he was out of hearing range to ask me why I didn’t ask Cas for help._ _ _ _

____“Cas has been busy helping me on other projects. I don’t need a babysitter. It’s just a clash of personalities. It’s fine.” I laid another block down and went back for another one, but Dean stopped me by pulling me in for a hug._ _ _ _

____“And that’s why I asked Stephen what was goin’ on around here. Has nothin’ to do with me thinking you can’t handle this. You water things down so they don’t sound as bad . . . I’ll take care of it. I’ve already got a few ideas, but what do you want me to do?”_ _ _ _

_____He’s gotten better at picking up what I’m thinking from further away._ _ _ _ _

____“Yeah, well, I have to so you don’t know I’m doing it. You’re getting better at blocking me. You don’t just do it when we play chess anymore.” I’d really missed him. Him being away had weighed on me more this time . . . not that it normally didn’t, because I always missed him, but I knew I was supposed to head out with Cas in the morning, and it’d be another 2 weeks before I saw Dean, and then after that he’d go back out, and it would keep going like that for who knew how long. It’s why I stayed where I was in his arms instead of stepping away after a minute or two, like I normally did._ _ _ _

____“This wall is my fault. I got pissed off the first day they wouldn’t work, so I told Ivan not to give them dinner, and that made things worse. I could’ve found a way to work around it if I hadn’t done that. They were slow and lazy the three days before that. Maybe they would’ve gone back to that if I’d found another way.” He asked me if Randy really spit in my food after I laid down the law. I nodded, and he said he couldn’t let that go. Before I could argue that he asked what I would’ve done if Randy had done that to him, so I said, “I would’ve given you my food,” and he laughed._ _ _ _

____“You wouldn’t have left it at that. You would’ve found a way to teach him a lesson. Besides him doing that escalated things a lot more than you holding back dinner . . . you couldn’t back down after that. What do you want me to do with them? I’ll make sure it gets done, and that they know it’s coming from you. They need to know we’re a team.”_ _ _ _

____“I don’t want them to get any new supplies from the store for however long you feel is fair . . . they’ve already got blankets and warm clothes. If they destroy them to get more just because I say they can’t have anything, then they’re stuck with what they have. I don’t want them to get anything frivolous either, like books or other nice things . . . and I think they should do extra chores . . . and Buzz . . . have him help George pour cement over the banks at his outpost, because he knows what he’s doing, and then move him to the carpenter team. I know he’s strong for an older guy, but he’s too old to be working out here on the wall the way he has been. He volunteered to move from the Book Squad to come to the wall, because it’s where we needed people, and he likes working outside. He’s been working himself to death for me, and he’ll do the same for you, but he deserves to work with people that are working just as hard as he is, so he doesn’t have to make up the difference, and he doesn’t deserve to work alongside people that give him a hard time because he is working hard. I know we need all hands on deck for the wall, but the human factor is important to consider too . . . Will can stay, but he should get some kind of a reward for working the way he has . . . he’s running into the same problems Buzz is in that they consider him a scab to their teamsters union . . . I’d say they should be broken up . . . but I don’t want any of them on the carpenter squad, because I already got two of his followers away from him to start that up, and I don’t want them to backslide. I would’ve sent the wall crew to do other jobs, but I didn’t want them to poison the well in other teams and make it worse . . . and I’ll leave it up to you to decide what to do to Randy for the spitting incident.” I tightened my hold around him. I’d really needed that hug more than I would’ve thought. I knew it made me seem needy, but I didn’t really care._ _ _ _

____Dean rested his head on top of mine and asked, “Anything else?”_ _ _ _

____“Yeah, I want to show you the clinic, and then I want us to have a night out before I leave tomorrow.” Dean stepped back and took my hand, so he could start pulling me towards the cabin. He said he had some things he wanted to take care of first. When we got there, I went to take a shower to relax my aching muscles and clean off all the dirt from the day, and as soon as I was done, Dean ushered me upstairs and had us use the zip line down to the hunter’s shack._ _ _ _

____I used my blue one, and he used the green one. They both still worked perfectly. I forgot how much fun that was. I thought maybe we should get to the fortress of solitude like that every time. When we got there, I asked if Adam was coming out too. “Nah . . . Wouldn’t be one of our night’s out if we let anyone else come along.” Then Dean handed me one of his duffle bags and told me to have a look._ _ _ _

____He brought me presents just because, which really surprised me. The first thing I found was a game of Monopoly and then the game Risk, which thrilled me to no end. He said they’d found a ton of games and books and other things for the kids in one of the stores they went to this time, so they’d loaded up on them along with food and blankets and other stuff, because the kids needed more normal kid things to do around here._ _ _ _

____Then I found a few bottles of nice vodka for me, and a few bottles of nice whiskey for him. He said they hit up a couple of liquor stores, and they also hit up a couple of pawnshops and gun stores. They’d brought back about 10 survivors from those. Living here seemed preferable to being barricaded in the same place the way they had been for the last couple of months, so it hadn’t been too hard to convince them to come. They got to bring along all the guns and ammo those places had too, which meant we had a lot more people with weapons training and a lot more weapons than we did have._ _ _ _

____The last things I found in his duffle were some records. He took one of them from me straight away. “Figured the hunter’s shack is as much yours as it is mine and Adam’s.” I admired the two that I knew were meant for me. One was the Doolittle Album from the Pixies and the other was the Substance LP from Joy Division. That LP wasn’t all that easy to find._ _ _ _

____“How-“_ _ _ _

____“Found a record store. I had to stop. Got a record player for the cabin, so the others don’t get pissed off that we have this out here and picked up a few things I’d been wanting . . . might’ve gotten you more, but that’s all you’re getting for now, and we’re listening to Ride the Lightening first.” He made it so hard sometimes not to jump him when he was in these ‘cool things off’ phases. I had to settle for doing a stupid happy dance while his back was turned instead._ _ _ _

____It was an unspoken thing that we kept the conversations about the camp to a minimum while we were in the fortress of solitude. That meant when I showed him the clinic later in the night, I hadn’t told him anything about it yet. He followed me around while I showed him where the different rooms would be when it was done. There would be four. One would have the hospital beds for recovery, one would be a sterile operating room, one would be the normal examination room, and the last one would be the doctor’s office. I thought it was really exciting._ _ _ _

____On our way out, he told me Cas was out there making sure the wall union worked on the wall all night by flashlight. Dean and Adam would take over for Cas in the morning, and they’d be the ones out there making sure the wall team worked tomorrow night too, since Cas was going with me out on the road. The wall team would work like that with the normal breaks they got, like breakfast, lunch, dinner, and water breaks until half the East wall was done, and then the wall union could start coming in the way they normally did at night, but they were going to be running two laps around the perimeter of the wall every morning before they started working. They’d have to do the camp’s dishes and clean at night, and they couldn’t get any of the cool things brought back from supply runs until they had the East and South walls finished up to three feet like the West and North walls were. He was having Randy shovel out the snow in the trench every day on top of all the running and extra chores. It felt really good to know Dean had my back. I’d already known it when it came to hunting, but this was normal living, and he had it for that too._ _ _ _


	18. Screwing Things Up

Dean and I watched Rufus and bobby pull in after Stephen and Pamela. They were just coming back from their supply runs and had a few survivors in each truck. Pamela was an amazing help on the missions, because she could get a good sense of where survivors were hiding, with her being a psychic and all, and she also knew if or when Stephen might do something stupid, so she could keep him in check, which made them good partners. 

She always came back with more survivors than the rest of us did, so many that at first fitting them all in the truck was a problem. They’d had to put some of the people in the back, including Stephen, and then they rotated them into and out of the cab, so none of them were cold for too long. After they’d gotten back from that first mission, we decided that when they got a cab full of people, she and Stephen would come back early to drop the survivors off before heading back out to finish their 2 week missions, especially because almost all the survivors we were finding were kids, and nobody wanted to keep them out in the cold for long if it could be helped. 

Kids were seriously outnumbering the adults in our camp now. Grown ups that had been with them seemed to have sacrificed themselves for them in one way or another to give the kids a chance, be it through giving them all the food, or going outside to protect the kids from croats or monsters. The kids were always found in groups of 3 or 4. The two groups that came in today were no different, except that there there were some teens that had taken care of the smaller kids in this batch. These teens looked like adults usually did if we were lucky enough to find any. They were starving, which meant they’d been giving what was left of their food to the smaller kids, who were still starving, but not as bad. They’d all need at least a week to recuperate before they would be up and around and able to go to school. It was a good thing that Carl and Rob had put a lot of effort into building cabins after they finished the clinic. They had 2 ½ new cabins up. We’d put bunk beds in the new cabins, so they were already in use, and these kids would have somewhere to go that would be warm tonight. 

We turned to go back into the cabin, so we could tell whoever was in there that we had supplies to unload, and Dean said, “I was thinking maybe we’d go out on the next mission together.”

There was still about 3 feet of snow on the ground that kept getting replaced almost every day. The wall was all the way around the camp, so now all we had to do was build it up 2 ½ times taller. We’d been nearly out of cement blocks until Bobby and Rufus got back with some just now. They seemed to have brought back enough to build up at least another 2 feet along the west wall or 1 foot along the west and north walls. Rufus and Bobby could decide which they wanted to do if Dean and I were out. The greenhouses were growing little shoots of tomatoes, carrots, beets, and potatoes along with some other vegetables. The kids were in classes that took place in the cabin, so it was packed in there during the day . . . we really did need a school and maybe a mess hall soon instead of feeding everyone in shifts. Adam had the training lessons up and going for everyone based on their age groups and was making short lists of people he thought might be good for either helping Jody implement the new rules we’d come up with and guard duty positions or potentials as hunters. Even the people who just weren’t naturally inclined for doing the training at least knew how to protect themselves as long as they didn’t go out there looking for trouble. The lore studies, I normally ran those for the kids after dinner, but Bobby could do that, since he was the expert. The council was still there and knew what they were doing. Yeah, I guess we could go out and everything would still keep running along just fine without us.

It’d been 10 weeks since Dean came back from his rescue mission as a vampire. This was the first time since the outbreak that we’d been together for 2 weeks straight. It’d been pretty good having Adam and Cas here too, because we got to spend time hanging out with them in the hunter’s shack at night more often. 

“Adam’s going with Cas?” Adam usually went with Dean.

“Yeah, already talked to them about it.” 

I shook my head in fake concern. “I don’t know Dean. I haven’t even been on a regular hunt with just you, since . . . I think it’s been, since the ghouls . . . and that was my second hunt. Someone else has always been around. You’ll probably be too bossy, and we’ll fight the whole time.” 

He responded with self-assured grin. “Nah, we won’t fight as long as you do everything I say, starting with you’re coming with me tomorrow . . . that’s if you want that lab crap you keep talkin’ about.” Then he headed up the stairs, and I got excited about the lab equipment. 

“I still think we should do some recon on the croats down south. We don’t even know where the snow stops and they begin, and we need to fill out the maps more.” We had no idea how many croats were down there and if they were free agents or watchdogs, like the ones that demon I came across in Ann Arbor had. Maybe we could determine if there were more players in this than Crowley and Sam based on the placement of croats? At the very least, we needed to see what sort of a croat invasion we’d be looking at in the spring . . . of course at the time I didn’t know that there was a reason the snow was so consistently thick and that the snow wasn’t going away even in the summer. 

“I know. I don’t want anyone else going down there until I do, and you’d probably steal a truck and follow me or have Cas bring you along, so I thought it might be easier to bring you with me . . . Was kinda hopin’ to call this mission a trial run.” Dean took his eyes off the road to see what I thought about that. Him saying that he was willing to bring me with him to check out croat territory meant there was no need for a trial run on my side, because he was finally willing to let me do whatever I wanted without giving me a hard time about it, and that’s all that mattered to me. Now all I needed to do was make sure I didn’t let him down, and we’d be fine.

We spent the first 7 days searching houses for people to save or monsters to kill, but he refused to let me drive, which was fine, because I didn’t really care about that. When we stopped at night, we slept in shifts, so the other one could keep watch. We’d been on the road for about a week when a moment I’d been waiting for 11 weeks to happen finally did. It was an opportunity to take this particular responsibility for my well being off of Dean’s shoulders. I didn’t want that struggle to tear him up anymore if it’d been weighing on him for as long as I suspected, and I thought that this was the only way to do it . . . even if it was by doing something I didn’t want to do. In the short term, it sucked. In the long term, hopefully it would make things better for him.

We’d stopped at an abandoned farmhouse for the night and had done all the typical wards and salt lines. He was supposed to take the first sleeping shift, so he was setting up his spot on the couch to be near the fireplace. I was keeping watch but also planned on staying awake by studying the map and making adjustments to it based on what we’d covered that day and planning the right towns to hit to look for survivors next on our way to Penn State. 

We didn’t go to Pennsylvania every day, so we might be able to find people that would otherwise starve before we found them in a few years time with how long it was taking us to get through Wisconsin and Minnesota. Outside of a trip I made to Ohio State for more medical supplies the doctor needed in the clinic a month ago, we all stuck close to home and were fanning out our search from there. 

We’d been killing a lot more vampires than anything else, so we figured that Wisconsin and Minnesota were smack dab in the middle of vampire territory, but we didn’t know how far that reached, because they’d been in Montana too. Were they two separate territories or one? I wondered if we’d see any on this mission. I wondered if we’d be able to hit up any army surplus places and find survivors to bring with us with more weapons training. If anyone was alive out there and knew how to use a weapon, it’d be people who worked in those. Maybe Dean and I could check out any National Guard posts along the way too. I shouldn’t be the only one getting things I wanted when I knew he loved the guns and ammo those places offered.

These were the thoughts I was thinking while making notes in one of my notebooks when Dean came up behind me and lean into me as he placed his hands around me on the table and pretended to look at the map over my shoulder. I knew what he was doing, especially when he bent down and said something just behind my right ear while he pointed somewhere on the map. I have no idea what he said, because I was trying to ignore the tingles that always gave me, and he knew that him doing that was something of a turn on for me. 

I stood up and pressed back into him, so I could get enough space to turn around, and he left his hands where they were on the table, keeping me trapped. He kissed me, and I almost gave in on it. The things he could do with his tongue with even just a kiss were kind of amazing, but then I felt my hands start to betray me and pushed them to his chest, ducked under his arm, and moved to the living room. “Thought we were cooling things down.” I grabbed a book and curled up in a chair, so I could faux-read like I was indifferent. 

“I said cool down, not stop, remember?” he grumbled as he sat in the chair across from me. I turned another page that I hadn’t read before staring down at another one I wouldn’t read either.

“Come on! This isn’t what we agreed!” 

“Casual is what we agreed, and . . . I think I understand why that is now, so I’m trying something different, and hopefully by taking the pressure off of you, it’ll be better for you in the long run.” I acted like I was bored and flipped another page without looking up. _God, this is hard. I don’t want to talk about it. Mostly I just want to jump him_ I wasn’t doing this out of spite. He just couldn’t make this decision on our connection for me anymore. If all I did was hop into bed whenever he wanted, that just let him think he was the only one making decisions on this. As the other half of us, I was here, and it was time I played my part. 

He’d gotten quiet, so I glanced at him, and he looked confused until he cleared his throat. “What the hell does that mean?” _Uhhhhh . . . It makes sense to me, but then I’m really shit at this sort of a thing . . . maybe I should clarify it a bit more?_

“Well, see I was thinking and –“ 

“What the fuck, Beth?” He got up to go over to the window and wouldn’t look at me. 

“I –“ and then he started bitterly ranting at me . . . _What? No, that’s not what I meant by different. No, I’m not screwing him or him or him or . . . who’s that . . . No, I never had sex with anyone else in our bed. No, our Picking up Chicks 101 joke wasn’t on you . . . No I didn’t want those men to do those things to me. Yes, you really do know me as well as you think you do . . . Why would this mean you wasted the last 2 ½ years? Oh, I didn’t know you turned down all those women for me if that’s why you were doing it. I do think it was a mistake to ever say this was casual though . . . No . . . I didn’t know she was like that . . . Oh no . . . Don’t you dare compare me to . . . Fuck. You fucking did. I’m nothing like Rachel, and you know it . . . apparently not. Now you think all of me is easy, not just half of me. Guess I had that coming. I’m an idiot._

He finally stopped and punched the wall before turning to storm out of the house, and it gave me an opening to finally say something to stop this. Anything would do really. “Oh please. I didn’t say I went with somebody else. A girl can take care of herself without needing a man to get involved . . . that reminds me. I need more batteries.” 

I grabbed my notebook from my bag to write batteries down. He stopped with his hand on the doorknob before his shoulders slumped and his head dropped. I got up to go over to one of my other bags and heard him say my name, so I looked over my shoulder at him and glanced away at the guilt I saw written all over his face . . . I felt terrible that I’d hurt him enough that he would fly off the handle the way he did. That wasn’t like him at all. He didn’t get jealous. He usually never thought he deserved anyone or anything enough to get jealous. I felt worse that I’d made him feel guilty on top of that, so I took a deep breath and looked at him again. “I shouldn’t have worded what I said the way I did. I’m sorry.” I turned back around to keep searching until I found one of my instant cold packs and broke it before indicating for him to come back and sit on the couch. 

I sat next to him, took his hand, and covered it with the ice pack before I glanced at him, but he looked away from me. I couldn’t have screwed this up more if I tried. I was at a loss as to what I should do, so I laid my head on his arm. He held his breath for a couple of seconds before he took the cold pack off his hand, put his arm around me, and pulled me back with him to slump against the back of the couch. 

We sat there for a couple of minutes, and then he said, “Batteries, huh?” _I did say that, didn’t I?_

I turned my face into his side and said, “I didn’t have time to think of anything else that would make you stay in the house, and I figured that might work.” I glanced up at him. He slumped back further into the couch, and to stop him from thinking the worst again, I rested my head on his chest and said, “Sex doesn’t change things between us. You’re still the most important person in my life with or without it. It changes things when we talk about it. It makes me focus on things I don’t want to think about, like how I’m lacking key things that make a person human, and I’ll never be normal or who you deserve. I want to be, but I’m not . . . and then the last time you said we had to ‘cool things off’ . . . I felt what you were feeling. I know what you really want, and I guess I didn’t until then, and I wanted to fix it for you . . . I figured turning you down seemed like the best play . . . I could keep going along with it and just giving into you until your protective side takes back over, but it makes me too passive in my own life and makes you think you have to make the decision on your own . . . It’s my decision what happens to me and my side of the connection, just the same as you get to decide what happens to you . . . and this has never been casual for either one of us . . . it’s why I’ve always said nobody else is ever my type.” 

He was quiet for long enough that I fell asleep laying on him like that but woke up maybe 20 minutes later to him saying my name and brushing my hair back from the side of my face. When he knew I was awake, he rested his head on mine and said, “I need to say this. I, uh . . . I didn’t mean any of the things I said . . . I’ve never thought . . . You have no idea how many bar fights I’ve gotten into after I took you home and went back to square things with whatever idiot hit on you and pushed it too far.” 

_What? I don’t understand._

“A lot of the time, I used the Picking up Chicks list to find out what’d happened from you without having to ask. The ones that got handsy or the ones that wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer, like that douchebag you fell off the stool to get away from when we started the list, they were definites. I let the other guys go if they weren’t dickheads or if I stopped them from becoming a problem, but if I was hustling or somewhere else in the bar, and you had a problem, I always got you out of there and then went back later.” 

_That can’t be right. I would’ve known, or Sam would’ve said something if Dean had gone out that many times._

“Keeping you from finding out was a good enough reason for me to make sure I never got any marks on me that you would’ve seen, and none of ‘em could fight for shit. Most of the time, I’ve got scrapes on my knuckles from hunting, so you wouldn’t have noticed . . . and Sam . . . He was always so wrapped up in his own shit, I don’t think he ever really paid attention. I mean, how many times did we play poker in front of him over the last couple of years, and he never noticed you always lost . . . and how do you think I had so many talks with you while you were asleep? It was when I was crawlin’ back into bed after I got back.” 

I smiled. “I never got proof those conversations actually happened, so that doesn’t really –“ 

“I remember all of them . . . even the first one. Thought you caught me when I came back, cuz you rolled towards me as soon as my head hit the pillow . . . but your eyes were still closed. You said, ‘Kangaroos in the Congo needed umbrellas,’ like you were really worried about ‘em and wanted me to do somethin’ about it, so I laughed, and you asked what was so funny about kangaroos drowning. I decided to mess with you some and asked you if kangaroos were in Australia or the Congo, and you said, ‘Australia, but that’s why the one’s in the Congo need umbrellas.’ I asked you how they got there . . . You said they got stuck there, ‘cause they were stow aways on boats . . . and then you said they didn’t mean to be stow aways, so I asked you, ‘Why not?” and you said they’d been wearing sunglasses and got lost and wandered onto the boat. I said none of that made any sense, and you got annoyed and rolled back over to your other side and wouldn’t say anything else . . . every time I annoyed you, you’d roll over, but if I went along with it and let you think I’d take care of whatever you were talkin’ about . . . You’d still stop talkin’, but you’d keep facing me.” He was telling it like he remembered it. It felt like he was telling the truth.

He cleared his throat and then said, “Anyway . . . I knew you weren’t looking for attention from dickheads like that. None of it was your fault, and I didn’t want you to have to deal with it anymore once it was over, so I took care of it without letting you know. I probably still shouldn’t have –“ 

“Enough time has passed that I’m all right. They’re probably all dead now anyway . . . I should’ve taken care of it myself. I was just trying to be good and not hurt anybody, so I’m -” 

“Don’t say you’re sorry. That’s why I never told you. You felt bad enough when it happened, and I didn’t want you to feel worse because of what I did . . . I wouldn’t let them get by with doing those things to anybody and definitely not to you . . . figured it would keep them from doing it to any other women in the future.” 

He’d been cleaning up my messes with humans for a lot longer than I thought he had. It hadn’t just been when he dealt with Randy and the wall crew for me. He tightened his hold around me and was quiet for a couple of minutes before he grinned and said, “So, we should look into finding some toys while we’re out, because now I can’t stop thinking about the batteries thing you threw out there,” which made me laugh and let me know we were okay even though we hadn’t really resolved anything, but I thought we were close to being able to do that now. 

\--------------------------

The next day towards mid-afternoon we finally made it to Penn State. We went to the Chemistry building first, because I figured Dean could have fun looking for chemicals to make explosives, while I looked around for chem gear and other things we could use. Going into the first building, we encountered a couple of demons in security guard uniforms. They were easy. We just shot them both in non-lethal places and recited the exorcism, so we could get two more survivors. It was the standard protocol now. We needed as many people as we could find, and this was the easiest way of finding them. 

The downside was that we were sending the demons straight to Hell, which meant we didn’t have a whole lot of time if they went to their bosses and said where we were, so Dean ran in to grab what we needed in the way of chemicals. I stayed near the truck with the two men, removed the bullets and took care of their wounds the best I could. Dean and I would finish taking care of them when we found somewhere away from here for the night. Their names were Eli and Jaffe. Eli was a cop before the demon got ahold of him, and Jaffe was a firefighter. They could probably help Jody out once they got past the trauma of having been possessed. The time on that rebound was different for everyone.

It took longer to get the bullets out of their shoulders than I thought it would, so Dean was back out with everything on the list before I could go help him. He wanted to leave because of the demons, but I didn’t want to leave behind the lab equipment again. It’s the whole reason we were there, so we raced over to the Biology department and both of us went in. To speed things along, we had to separate, so I handed him a list of reagents and chemicals I’d need, and ran to find a trolly. I loaded it up with an incubator, a couple of scales, microscopes, slides, sterile petri dishes, agar, a PH reader, pipettes, tips to go with them, a smallish centrifuge, a vortex, a water bath, and any other lab equipment I could find that was small enough for me to fit onto the trolly before heading out and loading it into the back of the truck a couple of times.

By the time I was done, Dean still hadn’t come back out. It shouldn’t have taken him that long to grab what was on the list. When I went in that time, I tried to listen for anything that shouldn’t be there. It was quiet. I couldn’t hear Dean or anyone else, but I still ran into him when I turned a corner. “Did you get the stuff on the list?” He didn’t have anything in his arms or a trolley. 

“Uh, yeah. I was just going to find you to see if you needed anything else, Elsbeth. I left it back in the room.” _Elsbeth?_

I followed him back to the room where he said he left our stuff, but let him walk a few feet in front of me, while I grabbed a fire extinguisher hanging on the wall. I finally caught sight of what I was looking for, or I should say I didn’t catch sight of what I was looking for when he opened the door for me to go into the lab at the end of the hall on the right. _Ninja monsters . . . fuck._

“No, after you. Ladies first. I insist.” He rolled his eyes before heading inside, but as soon as he went into the room, I slammed the door shut behind him, smashed the fire extinguisher down on the handle to break it off on both sides of the door, and sprinted down the hall, dropping waste bins and anything else I could to slow him down after he kicked the door open.

He rounded the corner behind me when I had the main entrance in sight. “Come on! What’re you doing? I thought you were the one who wanted this crap!” _Damn he’s fast._

“Would you just fuck off?” I was nearly to the door when he grabbed the scruff of my collar and yanked me back towards him. Instead of fighting against being pulled back, I went with the movement, so when I hit the ground, the momentum let me slide backwards, and I ended up behind him. 

I kicked out his knees and then kicked him in the lower back as he fell, so I could have enough time to scramble away from him and get back on my feet, but now he was blocking the exit. When he got to his feet, he looked pissed. “Beth, stop fuckin’ around! We don’t have time for this. Just go grab your shit and let’s get out of here. I don’t want Sam or Crowley to find you again.” _Sam is it? I don’t think so._

“No, you’re right. Just wanted a bit of cardio. Don’t get much of it anymore these days with us being in the truck all the time.” I laughed to make him think I’d been messing around.

“Well, you could’ve had some last night but you turned me down.” He gave me a cocky grin as he took a step to the left, so I mirrored him by taking a step to the right. I thought about trying to get my angel blade without him noticing. _He’s too close. He’ll know what you’re doing. I’ll just have to be fast._ Then he did a good job of distracting me, because he said things he had no right to say to me. They weren’t his things to say. “I know you don’t like to talk about it, but you wanna hear somethin’ crazy? I think I’ve been in love with you since the day we met . . . think it was after you jumped out that window. There you were looking up at me, and –“

“Shut up.”

“Told you it was crazy . . . falling for you that soon doesn’t make much sense to me either, so I tell myself it must’ve started -”

“Shut up! That’s not yours to -“

He charged at me. I was too close to get out of his way before he picked me up and slam tackled me to the floor. It didn’t knock the wind out of me, but it disoriented me enough that I barely had time to swipe his legs out from under him before he could grab me again. He ended up on top of me. I tried to push back away from him, but he was fucking fast, and once he rolled over onto his hands and knees, it became a real struggle, because he was so much bigger and stronger than me. I was at a serious disadvantage until I could get back on my feet. _Do not let him pin you._ I grabbed my lucky switchblade out of my pocket while he was trying to choke me, flicked it open, jammed it in his ribs, and twisted. I knew it wouldn’t kill him, but it’d hurt like a bitch, because it was silver. It made him release me, and then I flicked it shut, so I could use it to pack my punches to his face before I wrapped my legs around him and flipped him over onto his back. _There’s no way you’re stabbing him in the heart even if you’re on top. He’s too strong. You’re going to have to find another way. Buy some time and be smart about this._

I left him on the ground and headed for the door again, because what I really needed was out in the truck, but he pulled my ankle out from under me, so I landed on my stomach and only had time to roll over and bring my knees to my chest, when he went to pounce on me again. I had some room to maneuver when it came to landing another punch to his eye, but I couldn’t block the first punch he gave me to the left side of my head. I blocked his next punch and countered with a punch of my own before using all the strength and flexibility I could to get my feet under his chest and lift him off of me like a leg press. I stomped into his face as hard as I could 2 or 3 times, and it gave me enough room to get away from him, but fucking hell this was tough work. I crab walked away from him as he tried to get to his feet, but then I crab walked right into something that shouldn’t have been in the middle of the hall and . . . 

I woke up in the dark, sitting on the ground with my hands cuffed around something behind me. It felt kind of hollow, like a pipe or something. I listened for anything that would give me a hint as to whether or not I was alone, and where I might be. I didn’t hear anything. The pipe was sturdy, but not especially big. I finally got into a standing position, so wherever I was, the ceilings were high enough that I could stand at full height with no problem. I had to get out of here. 

Leaning forward at the waist, I put my weight onto the cuffs, and put one leg up on the pipe behind me, so I could push off of it and hopefully break it, but it didn’t work. Next, I angled my body in such a way that I could bring both legs up and put all of my strength into pushing back with my legs and pulling forward with my cuffed wrists. I didn’t care what happened to me physically. I felt a bit like a fox that has to gnaw it’s paw off to get out of a trap, because I would do anything to get back to Dean in this absolute clusterfuck of a mission. 

I found myself falling forward with a jolt a minute or so later and landed hard and awkwardly on the ground. I definitely dislocated my left shoulder, because I felt it give, and when I touched it, it felt gross and wrong even though I couldn’t see it. It didn’t hurt as much as I always assumed something like that would. _Don’t know why everyone always complains about it in the movies . . . You don’t have time to sit here and think about it. Get the cuffs off._

I got to my knees and reached into my back pocket for my trusty bobby pin to get the cuffs off. When that was done, I stayed seated and tried to relax enough to slide my shoulder back into place. That’s not like in the movies either. I didn’t have to ram it into a wall or anything, just sit in the right posture, keep my arm bent at a 90 degree angle and let my right arm guide it back into place. I’d have to keep it immobile for a while as a precaution, but it didn’t hurt, so it was probably still functional. It was my left arm, so I could still shoot even if I didn’t use it. 

With that in mind I put my arm in a makeshift sling made out my belt and tried to feel my way along the wall until I got to a door with some stairs. I needed to get to the truck to get my weapons bag, because I’d needed it and didn’t have it earlier. _So, stupid._ I should’ve brought that bag in with me when I went back in to find Dean. He had his on him.

Stepping out the door of the Biology building, I felt my heart sink. The truck wasn’t there. _Dean didn’t take off and leave me here, did he?_ I used my Dean tracker, and he was still nearby, so it would appear that the cop and fireman had stolen it. I looked around to see if they’d left anything behind and found some of our bags in the shrubs . . . and it looked like they’d offloaded all the things for the lab I’d gotten too. Maybe they’d felt a little bad about leaving us in fucking Pennsylvania in the fucking snow with almost no fucking food. _Nope. They just threw this lab equipment around the place, and now some of it’s broken. They just wanted the truck to themselves._

My weapons bag was left open, so they’d looked in it, and I suspect that if they hadn’t been in a hurry and weren’t men, they would’ve looked under my underware that I used to conceal my weapons. I always used to do it when I was hunting, and old habits die-hard. _How the hell did they think that bras and panties explained the weight of this bag? They’re lucky they did, because I would’ve tracked them down if they took this bag._ They left Dean’s clothing bag too. They probably did it because they were both too big around the waist to wear any of his things. _How gracious of the assholes . . . We are so screwed._

I got almost as angry at them as I was at myself for letting it happen. Always guard the vehicle. It was the number one rule that I knew, but somehow always managed not to follow, and this time it bit me in the ass, and I’d fucked it up for Dean too. Well, maybe I could use that anger to get Dean back from the ninja monsters. I hid all the bags behind the shrubs they’d been thrown into I grabbed what I needed from them. _Not getting caught out like that again . . . not going anywhere with out a silver magazine on me at all times._

I really hadn’t expected to run into a shifter. The amulet I gave Dean may not have prevented him from being duplicated, but he always wore it, and the Dean I fought earlier didn’t have it on. I wondered if my Dean was still wearing it or how many I’d be dealing with here. Two that I knew of, but Dean should’ve been able to handle two if he had his weapons bag on him, so maybe there were more. 

I quietly prowled through the halls of the building and found Dean by using our connection. When I got to the room where I knew he was being kept, I slipped my left arm out of my sling in case I needed it and opened the door, but even when I thought I was prepared for anything, I wasn’t quite prepared for what I found. 

In the room were 4 Deans fighting against one another, like a freaking Fight Club you could only join if you looked like him. Quickly, I caught on to the fact that the two on the left side of the room weren’t him, so I shot one in the heart just after he was kicked away from the other one into a wall. While he was sliding to the floor leaving a trail of blood down the wall as he did, the one he’d been fighting turned around and just stood there before giving me a slight nod, which was weird, but I knew he wasn’t Dean, so I took him out. That left the two on the right. Neither had the amulet. _Maybe it was torn off in the fight?_ I could sense the vibe I got from my Dean coming from their direction. 

When I came in and killed the first two, these two had stopped fighting. Now that I was looking at them, one immediately moved towards me and tried to convince me that he was my Dean, while the other stayed where he was and didn’t say a word. The second one wasn’t scared of me. I got rid of the one that approached and cocked my head to the side to watch the only Dean left. He didn’t feel right. I kept the gun trained on him, but still hesitated until he said, “Do it. I’m not him.” I didn’t know what he was playing at, but if it were my Dean, he wouldn’t have said that, so I dropped him. As I walked towards him to have a look, I figured out why I sensed my Dean from this direction and quickly made my way to the supply closet the last shifter had been standing in front of before I’d killed it. When I pulled open the door, I found my Dean sitting on the ground handcuffed to a giant boiler pipe behind his back. His weapons bag had been thrown to the other side of the small room away from him. 

I bent down to un-cuff him, but before I had the chance to do it, I heard a noise behind me and drew my weapon on whatever’d made it. I wasn’t expecting to see a scared shifter me standing there, and two things caused me to pause in killing her. One was that she looked scared but still approached us when she could’ve easily fled now that I was in the supply closet. The second was because she said, “Please, I need you to hear me out, and then I need you to kill me.” It piqued my interest, so I waited until Dean was up to hear what she had to say.


	19. No More Indecision

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The sex scene in this is more graphic than previous ones. It's marked at the start and finish in bold letters for those who don't want to read it.

Beth kept her gun on the impostor and sat next to it at one of the lab benches, while Dean went to the door to keep a look out. “I’m the last one. Beth got the rest. None of us left with those two men you saved.” Dean ignored the shifter-Beth and opened lab door to look for more of them or the fucking demons that were probably on their way here with as long as they’d stayed. 

He wasn’t going to let himself be taken out like that again. He knew Beth hadn’t had it easy with whatever she’d faced out there, and it’d happened on his watch. He didn’t even know why Beth was willing to talk with this thing. It should be dead like the others. He noticed she didn’t have any problems putting the ones that looked like him down . . . sure, let’s listen to the one that looks like her. They should just kill it already and get out of here . . . and what the fuck did the shifter mean ‘leave with those two men’? Did a cop steal their truck? That was just fucking awesome.

“None of us wanted to come here, but we had to do it. Back at the camp, they have us on a tight leash. It’s sort of like a supernatural electric dog collar. They use it to imprison us and send us into mind control classes. Some of us are more resistant to brainwashing than others. They haven’t perfected it yet, but they’re getting better. 2 out of our patrol snapped out of it. 3 did not, and then there was me. They trusted us to leave, even if we weren’t completely mind controlled, because they have the father of all shapeshifters there. I don’t know where they have him, or if he’s being forced to do what he’s doing, but he’s there, and he checks in with the troops through some kind of telepathy once a day. That time is coming in the next few minutes. I can’t go back to the camp, and I don’t think there’s any way to break the link to him, so they’ll always find me . . . and even if they couldn’t . . . he can compel us to go where we’re told . . . it’s hard to fight against and how we all ended up in that camp in the first place. If there were a way to break free from him, I would have done it after we left the camp, but even if I could have, they send demons out with us on missions as guards. I’m not a killer. I never have been. It’s just not something I ever wanted to be. The worst thing I ever did was shift into a mean girl when I was in school. I made sure she got kicked out of school by dumping water over the principle’s head.” That was the dumbest thing Dean had ever heard. 

“Dean, you wanna give us a couple of minutes?” _And leave her alone in here with it? Not a chance._

His attention stayed glued to the hall. “I’m not goin’ anywhere, so whatever you’ve gotta ask her . . . ask it, and then we can kill her and get outta here.” 

“Maybe start with what your mission was supposed to be, and why you look like me before you tell me where the camp is and why it’s better to die than go back to it?” _She thinks it’s the Nevada camp, and she still thinks Sam’s running it. Well, fuck that. She’s getting intel from a fucking monster. We shouldn’t believe anything it says . . . If you really think that just kill it._

“The brainwashing never worked on me, but I made them think it did, because I had to get out. Even with the daily check-ins from father, it’s more freedom than I’ve had in months, and I never thought we’d actually find you. I took your silver knife, so I could kill the shapeshifter you were fighting after I knocked you out and before I put you some place safe.” 

Dean didn’t miss a beat. “Thought you said you weren’t a killer.” 

“I’m not a killer. I didn’t kill Beth or you, and I could have killed you both . . . but all of us shapeshifters that you saw today have to die.” Dean agreed with that sentiment, but when he turned around to say that, his Beth shook her head and gave him a look that said she wanted him to lay off. His look let her know he was frustrated, but he backed off and resumed keeping his watch of the hall. _How long is this going to take?_

The shifter-Beth started monologuing to Beth again. “Everyone is looking for you. Not just you, but him too. There’s as high a price on his head as yours, but our instructions were to bring you both in alive. None of us have seen the guy whose running the camp, but he’s evil. When we’re not brainwashed, all of us would rather die than let something like that get what it wants. Whatever that camp wants isn’t good for any of us whether we’re monsters or humans. That’s why the two of you need to stay free, stay alive, and keep fighting . . . A lot of us think that you’re the only two that can stop what’s happening. And it has to be stopped . . . Let me give you an idea of what that camp is like, so you can see what I mean. The shapeshifters are tortured and brainwashed. The werewolves wear collars with special wards that keep them from changing, so their energy gets built up over time. Their strength, sight, smell, and hearing all increase, but they’re still in their human form. When they take the collars off, all of the pent up energy causes them to change straight away without the need for a full moon. The demons are allowed to have them fight one another in death matches with other werewolves or with skinwalkers for entertainment. When humans are brought into the camp, they’re used for the demons to possess, get turned into more werewolves and skinwalkers for an army, or if they’re too young for that, they’re sent to trading posts that are set up all over the country. There they’re traded in exchange for alliances that can be built up with other monsters in a war that’s going to kick off the second you two are captured. That’s all I know. I need you to kill me now.” Not looking at her and just listening. She sounded like his Beth right down to the rambling and phrases she used, and that was hard to ignore. _Shifters, werewolves, skinwalkers . . . No, that doesn’t mean anything._

“But-“ 

The shifter-Beth interrupted his Beth. “You can’t save me. You don’t have much time. Those demons you exorcised have probably already found a way out through one of the devil’s gates that have been opened up all over the world. They’ve got to be telling the Nevada camp where you are at this very moment. I’ve been trying to block the alpha for the last minute or so, but he’s too strong. If you don’t kill me, he’s going to have the memories I have from you, and they will find your camp in Wisconsin. You have to do it now and burn everything here that you’ve touched or when they send more shapeshifters here, they’ll be able to replicate either of you and get the location of your camp. And stay away from the universities from now on. That’s where they’ve been sending us the most.” 

Dean turned from the doorway at the threat against the camp, but Beth had it covered. She gave the shifter a quick compassionate nod, said thanks, and stood back to take the fatal shot a second or two after she normally would’ve done it, but she did it. They couldn’t let anything find out where the camp was. They’d both do whatever it took to keep that from happening, but Beth still looked like she felt guilty about putting this one down. He needed more proof before he’d buy that Sam was behind any of that.

After they torched the place, including the basement where Beth had been held, Beth took them to their bags at the front. They still had to go to the chemistry building to light it up too just to be on the safe side. Neither of them had talked about what the shifter said. They didn’t have to, because they already knew what the other was thinking. “Look it doesn’t mean-“

“Yeah, it does Dean. Why else would that camp be specializing in monsters that can shift if they don’t have extra knowledge on them from the tablet, and I know the last person who had it,” Beth said while bending down to pick up a handful of snow. When she stood back up, she stuffed it under the collar of his shirt and packed it against his shoulder, effectively ending the conversation. She gave him a quick smirk as he tried to wriggle the ice out of his shirt and then bent down to pick up her bags with her right arm. “Didn’t think I’d notice that you dislocated your shoulder with the way you’ve been favoring it ever since I found you? Looks like I was the lucky one this time, because my shoulder’s fine. I know you won’t wear a sling, so snow is what you need to keep the pain and swelling down.” 

Yeah, well she was only fine because he was carrying all of her shoulder pain for her along with her headache from when she’d been knocked out and whatever other shit happened to her while he’d been locked up. Watching her turn and walk away with her bags, like she really was fine, his annoyance dropped, because it was worth it . . . maybe not the snow, but the rest was. His shoulder had gone back into place when she’d reset her own, so it wasn’t a problem anymore. It looked like when she got hurt, he could heal her if he fixed it on himself, or if she was hurt, and fixed it on herself, then whatever had happened to him would get fixed too. At least he was learning how this whole thing worked. 

They found an abandoned delivery van at the loading bay of a building nearby. He hotwired it, and they packed up what was left of her lab crap. She’d gotten some replacements for the stuff that cop and firemen broke while he was busy pouring chemicals around the biology building. She was obsessed with this stuff, so he hoped it was worth it. 

Even with the delay, they were out of town in less than half an hour after torching the chemistry building, but not before she remembered her first aid kit had been in the truck and was gone with it. She got attached to the weirdest things, so that made her upset even though she didn’t say much about it. He told her they’d stop at the next hospital they found as long as they could get the hell out of there. He knew there was a reason he never went to college. It’s because places like this suck. 

The van wasn’t great in the snow. It was slow going even after he found a small snowplough he could attach to the front. None of it was designed to push through drifts that were 6 feet deep in places, and it was snowing almost every day, which added more to the top. This kind of snowfall wasn’t normal. It hadn’t let up all winter. There was probably a reason for it that they’d find out eventually. Whether it was a good thing or not depended on how long it kept falling. They needed to be able to grow more food in the farms this spring. For right now though, it may be a pain in the ass to drive through, but at least the croats were gone.

On the fourth day after the shifter, they’d only made it back as far as Ohio. He couldn’t pray to Cas, because Cas was Adam’s partner, and he didn’t want to take him away from Adam. It wasn’t Cas’s job to bail Dean out every time he fucked up. The wind was picking up and it was well past dark, so Dean decided that they should find somewhere to stay until the wind died down, because it made driving in the snow 10x harder. They weren’t getting anywhere, and they were wasting more gas. 

Beth handed him a cup of coffe she’d heated up in the fireplace, and asked, “How’s the shoulder?” Their ration packs were dwindling. Most of them had been in the snowplough. They’d had to cut the ones they had in half each day to make them last. They wouldn’t last more than a few days if they didn’t find anything else. He didn’t even have to say anything, and she knew what was wrong with him at that exact moment. “Don’t worry. I found some soup we can use, so I didn’t have to open up our rations. This is just some of the coffee I’ve been keeping back from my packs. I still can’t stand the stuff.” 

Maybe it was the weather or the roads sucking or running out of food or the fact that more of Beth’s memories were coming back to her . . . he didn’t care if it meant she’d remember the tablets sometime soon. They’d deal with that when it happened, and they might actually be able to come up with a plan on what to do with them, but he didn’t want her to remember being tortured in Heaven. He wasn’t sure how they’d deal with that . . . all of it was getting to him. 

And then there were the looks she gave him every so often that told him he was in denial about his brother. He didn’t want to think about that, so he’d been keeping busy, even though they’d stopped. The last task he’d given himself was to find some firewood that wasn’t too wet to light in the fireplace, and he hadn’t had much luck with that either. He found some, but it probably wouldn’t last the night. Trying to ignore the throbbing in his shoulder that had started when he was throwing logs around the place, he finally answered her. “It’s fine. What’d you find to eat?” She let him choose what he wanted between chicken noodle soup or minestrone. He didn’t care. Neither really appealed to him, but he could see she was trying to make things better for him in small ways.

After they ate, he sat on the couch alone, looking at a map, and trying to decide the most direct path to take that wouldn’t have as many abandoned cars on it or demons looking for them when Beth came up behind him. “Here. Let me try something.” She pulled him back towards her, so she could gently massage his shoulder, but not directly over where it hurt the worst so as not to cause him more pain, and after a few minutes, he began to relax, and it actually started to help. “Take off your shirt.” 

“I’m kind of busy here. You don’t have-“ 

“I know. It’ll help you with your plan on getting us out of here if this isn’t bothering you, and it’ll work better if you aren’t wearing a shirt. It’s the only way to get you back to normal.” She said it with a tone that finally challenged his mood that had been getting worse and worse. 

10 minutes later, he felt better, but didn’t say anything since he was enjoying the contact. Still. He needed to get back to what he’d been doing before, so he waited 5 minutes, and said he was fine and went to move back to the map. “Wait. I wanna try something else.” Beth went to grab something by the door and then went outside. 

“Beth, I don’t have time for this.” He didn’t think she’d heard that, but she did. 

“Make the time,” she said closing the door. 

“It already feels fine. I have to - ” She wrapped her soft black scarf around his eyes and tied it in the back. “Seriously, Beth what are you doing?” 

He reached up to take it off, but she put a hand over his and leaned down to his ear to say, “I think it’s pretty obvious what I’m doing, Dean. Leave it on.” 

He couldn’t control the grin that came over his face after thinking that he could make time for this, but changed his mind 20 seconds later. No, he still wasn’t ready to give up on trying to keep her from being fully connected to him, and that’s what she’d be expecting if he caved on it now . . . and he had to get them back to the camp. The job came first. Keeping her safe came first. 

**He went** to take the scarf off again, but felt her hands on his thighs seconds before she leaned in and he felt her lips on his. He flinched at the unexpectedness of it but didn’t shy away from giving as good as he got. Moving his hands to her sides, he quickly realized that she’d already removed her shirt and sliding his hands down found her jeans were gone too. He wondered if these were the silky light blue panties. He liked those. They looked good on her.

He went to remove the blindfold again to see if he was right, but she covered his hands with hers, and he could feel her chest press against his as she leaned forward to whisper in his ear. “Do you really want me to stop?" He shook his head. "Leave it on.” She sat back and waited until he nodded before she skimmed her nose and lips up the other side of his neck and added, “and no touching.” He stopped trying to remove her underwear, put his hands on the couch, and was rewarded when her lips came back to his. 

The snow she must have put in her mouth for this kiss was a nice touch. She ran her hands gently down his arms, and he could feel the fingers that were colder on one hand than the other from when she’d held the snow, and then she moved her hands to run up and down his thighs, her thumbs going higher each time to just massage through his jeans where his legs met as her kiss intensified. He could feel her body rock into his as it matched the strokes of her tongue before she bit his lip gently, and then she disappeared. 

He was left breathing heavily now that she was gone and tried listening for her in anticipation of her next move when out of nowhere she pushed him back further against the couch, and he could feel her hair, lips, and tongue move their way down from his collar bone to his chest. She gave him some light nipple action that was perfect . . . wasn’t too hard, changed sides to be fair. She could be a little rougher if she wanted. As soon as he thought that, she grazed her teeth along one and gave the other one that was still wet a little pinch at the same time. Turned him on in an even bigger way than he already was while she undid his belt with one hand and disappeared again. 

He felt her cool breath across his neck, but she didn’t make direct contact until she moved her mouth to his again as she helped him kick off the rest of his clothes. Then she left him again briefly to slide her hands up his thighs, and brushed her fingers ever so lightly across his most erogenous areas, before they moved further up to his stomach and chest. Her hands were still on his chest when he felt her hair against his upper thighs a second before her mouth slowly took him in. Gliding back down his body, her hands joined in on what she was already doing to enhance his pleasure. His breathing intensified as she caressed, sucked and licked him in ways she knew he liked, until she disappeared again . . . _Sonofabitch. I would’ve made it up to you._ He forgot about it as she moved quickly to straddle him a few seconds later.

She laughed at whatever his expression had been before kissing him and moving so that her panties just grazed him. She was as turned on as he was. The light feel of the wet silky fabric stimulated him further, and he was all to aware what was on he other side of them. He didn’t know how much more he could take, and then he heard her say, “Okay, second rule’s off,” and that’s all he needed to flip her over onto her back before dragging her to the edge of the couch and kneeling on the floor in front of her. 

His hands explored her body until he found and removed her last piece of clothing. He crashed into her with a single powerful thrust, while she pushed back against the back of the couch to meet him, and it allowed him to use his hands to stimulate her from the front. _I love it when she can be loud._ It was hard and fast and when they eventually finished, she sat up and took his blindfold off with that little relieved laugh she did when they hadn’t been together for awhile before she leaned forward and kissed him slowly while wrapping her arms around is neck. She stopped when she remembered the whole reason she’d started this and pulled back from him to apologize, but his shoulder was the furthest thing from his mind, so he grinned and pulled her back to him again, because he’d missed this.

**Later** , after they’d gotten dressed and she helped him with the maps, he let her sleep while he stayed up to take the first watch. He thought about what happened the other night, because he hadn’t really let himself think about it much since then. He’d nearly burnt it all to the ground. He didn’t know what the hell was wrong with him. He’d never expected anyone to stick around . . . usually thought that they shouldn’t and would be better off if they didn’t, but he expected her to stay with him and only him. 

Now they both knew how he would’ve handled it if she’d ever really treated it like it was a casual thing. It’d been stupid for them to ever say that’s what it was, because it’d never been that for him, and looking back at it now . . . it never had been for her either . . . he’d ignored it and lied to himself about it every time she’d turned someone else down and had somehow made himself believe that if not that guy then the next one . . . maybe it was because he didn’t want to see it, so he could keep things going with her instead of forcing himself to back away and stop all together. 

When he thought about it . . . even on this she and Rachel were exact opposites. He and Rachel had the casual thing down but said they were together, and he and Beth were together and called it casual. Beth wanted them to be what they were without all the thinking involved. Easier said than done, because he couldn’t remember a time since he’d known her when he hadn’t been battling with himself over this. But then all he had to do was stop trying to stop them from happening. No more cooling things off or backing away from her. Let the chips fall where they may. If the only thing he had to do was nothing and it would stop making her feel like there was something wrong with her . . . he didn’t want to be the reason she felt like that . . . Maybe he could let himself finally have what he wanted with her, because she wasn’t going anywhere . . . she’d just been waiting on him . . . even if he honestly didn’t think she knew that or understood it all or could even really feel for him what he felt for her.


	20. Final Proof

_What a difference a week makes._ Dean seemed to be content if not happy to be driving instead of letting all of the negative things get to him. He still wasn’t asking Cas for help even though Cas should be back at the camp now, but I think it was less about making himself get out of this on his own and more about him having an excuse to extend the mission. His mood had improved after I made the first move back at the farm a week ago. For a day or two there, I thought I was going to lose him to the dark part of himself that he goes to every so often, and there’s no telling if or when he’ll bounce back from it each time it happens, so at least it seemed to have pulled him back from that somewhat. 

He was still in denial about Sam. It was flat out denial. Why else would he not be itching for the chance to check out this mysterious camp in Nevada if he didn’t think Sam was running it? If it were really an unknown new player, he’d be planning a mission to Nevada after that shifter backed up what the demon said to me 3 months ago. I wasn’t going to push it until after we got back to the camp. We couldn’t do anything about it right now, but we had to do something about it soon. 

I spotted a farm on my side of the road. It looked like it was only about 2 miles away. “Think that farm over there has anything we could use? How are we on gas?” 

Dean slowed the van down. “I don’t know. I don’t really want to waste what we have getting to it to find out it’s nothing.” We’d been skipping out on trying to find survivors that were so far off the beaten track, because fuel was a real problem. We checked places closer to the road, so towns we went through and little houses on the road had been cleared, but farms were getting missed. I had a feeling about this place though. 

My eyes stayed glued on the turnoff as we passed it. “Yeah, but it looks big, and the road going that way looks like the snow isn’t too bad on it. Maybe that’s why this road we’ve been on hasn’t been too bad today. Maybe that farm has humans who’ve been using it.” The snow on the road going to the farm was about 3 feet deep, and 4-5 feet deep on the road we’d been on all day. It should’ve been about 6-8 feet high based on the banks along the side. He backed up and looked at it again. 

“Doesn’t look like it’s been plowed for a few weeks.” Dean said that more to himself than to me, but turned down it anyway. If it’d been weeks since anyone had plowed the road, we may find humans or we may not, but someone had definitely been there recently.

We pulled up to the farm, and it looked like it used to be some sort of an industrial pig farm, but any pigs that had been there at one time were long gone now. There wasn’t any trace they’d ever been there. No bones or carcasses. I wondered if they’d been shut down before the infection hit or if something else had gotten to the pigs after the outbreak. Dean grumbled about how he would have loved him some bacon. I guess it had been 5 months since either of us had any. “Let’s just hope it doesn’t turn into a squeal like a pig sort of a situation,” I muttered absentmindedly while we searched the hidden corners at the back of one of the barns. 

His face was hilariously uncomfortable for a moment, but then he grinned and shook his head. “You haven’t made a movie reference in months. Kind of gave up thinkin’ you would.” I hadn’t really noticed. 

“I guess it’s hard to do when you won’t see anymore, but then maybe you bring it out in me.” I offered him a smile as we walked out of the last barn together. Maybe he wasn’t the only one with an improved mood lately.

Dean parked the delivery van in between some of the barns at the back where we’d found a gas pump that big farms sometimes have. It wasn’t empty, so the trip had been worthwhile for that alone. When we were done filling up the spare canisters along with the gas tank, we left the van there and made our way to the house, the last thing we had to check. It was empty too. 

Walking down the front steps from the porch to go back to the van, Dean looked back at the house. “This place look like it’s been lived in recently to you?” 

“Maybe not lived in but definitely occupied. Something’s not right about the place . . . Maybe we should stick around and see if anyone or anything comes back.” He scanned the farm again and said we’d give it a day or two. That was fine by me. I was more than happy to not get back into the van again for a little while. It looked like one of the machinery barns was the best place to set up a small camp. The loft would give us a good view of the house, without anything really having a chance to see us.

I was watching out the open loft door the next afternoon when Dean came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. He’d been a lot more affectionate lately, and well, I was enjoying that we could do what we wanted when we wanted for as long as it lasted. We’d never really had the chance to do that before now. When I turned around to face him, he took my mouth in a deep kiss and backed me towards the wall as he slid his hands to my ass to pull me closer and I slipped my mine under his jacket to glide up his back. I have no idea how long we were at it. I always blocked out everything else but him when we were like that, but at some point, he quickly pulled away and asked me if I heard anything. _Other than the racing of my heart? Nope._ I fixed my clothes while he did the same and then I put my coat and hat back on before I inched over to the loft door, so I could peer around it while he moved across from me to get a good look from the other side. 

It was still daylight but would be getting dark soon. I listened and finally heard the sound of a car or truck making its way towards the farm. _At least one of us is good at dividing their attention._ A few minutes later, a delivery truck pulled up and two men got out before moving to the back to open it up and hop inside it. They were in there for a few minutes before coming out with what looked like a chain gang of 5 children. The oldest was probably 15 and the youngest maybe 10. I looked at Dean as they took the kids into the house, but he shook his head. We had to wait to see what was going on before we did anything about it.

We didn’t have to wait long for it to get dark enough for us to go out into the yard and make our way over to the house. Stopping just under one of the windows at the back, so we didn’t make any noise on the boards of the porch, Dean had to have a look inside through a window, because I was too short. About a minute later, he ducked back down next to me and whispered, “Demons.” 

_Demons and children . . . I’d say those kids are too young to turn into monsters . . . maybe not the teenagers . . . no, they’re going through all kinds of hormonal fluctuations at that age. They’d be too unpredictable as monsters . . . He won’t want to hear it . . . Doesn’t matter. You have to say it._ “Dean, we’re at one of those trading posts that shifter told us about or a stop over on the way to one.” He didn’t say anything and adopted that closed off look he got whenever anything that shifter said came up. I’d drop it for now, because we’d find out soon enough. 

I wasn’t sure what to do with the demons to be honest. We needed the survivors, but if these demons were exorcised, then they’d just go back to Sam and tell him where we were, and he’d have a better idea of where we’d set up our camp if he knew this is the way we were heading after Penn State. What if he got those werewolves out here as sniffer dogs to track us? If we killed the demons, Sam may not know about it for a few weeks, but when they didn’t come back from this little trade mission, he’d know they were either dead or trapped in an area not too far from where we’d last been spotted, and not too many people could trap demons but even fewer could actually kill them . . . so he’d still know it was us and be able to follow the path we took from Pennsylvania to here and get his sniffer wolves out here to follow us. 

_What if he just thinks they went AWOL? . . . No, he’d have to know they were trapped or dead. I bet he never has demons jump ship. He gives them an awards program for crying out loud . . . And I bet they’re too scared to leave him. He’d destroy them if he found them leaving, and Crowley would torture them for information on Sam and then kill them if they tried to come back to him._ I still didn’t know what to do with them, so I looked up at Dean. “Exorcise or kill?” 

“Plan A is see why they’re here, get the kids, and let them go without them knowing we’re here at all. We’ll kill ‘em if that falls through.” Maybe he wasn’t completely against the idea of this being a trading post. Maybe he just needed proof. Who knew how long that’d take? We might be here for a while. 

We waited there for nearly 4 hours before Dean noticed a change in the room. The demons woke the children up and had them put their coats and shoes back on. I guess they’d been taken to try and prevent them from running away in the snow. After the last demons were out the door, Dean and I used the house for cover and moved to opposite sides of it before slipping around our respective corners to see where the demons were going. _Not the truck, so not a stop over._

The group headed went left, which meant they went right past Dean, but they didn’t notice him hidden in the shadows. We flanked them from a wide distance on either side, so they wouldn’t see our tracks in the snow if they came back the same way they were walking now. We ended up in some woods nearby. I preferred the cover of the woods, but it also meant that it would be easier for something to sneak up on me, so I was on high alert, as I moved from tree to tree following them. _Bonfire in the distance. That wasn’t there last night._

I stopped when I was about 50 yards from the fire and watched the demons walk up to a group of about 7 people. The demon leader shook hands with a guy who stood up to greet them. The man looked over the children and chose the 2 oldest kids. He seemed agitated by the 3 smaller ones. 

Based on their arm gestures, the demons started negotiating something, and eventually the man in the group smiled in agreement and nodded after they handed him what looked like a bottle. I couldn’t confirm what was in it from my position, but I had a good idea. The light from the bonfire glancing off of it made it look red. It wasn’t whiskey. That’s for sure. 

I got my tranq gun out of my shoulder holster. I never knew what monsters I could come face to face with out here in the wild, so I usually tried to be ready for anything. That mostly meant that I kept my tranq gun, my handgun, my devil’s trap bullet gun, my lucky silver knife, a silver magazine after what happened at Penn State, and my angel blade, because they’d handle most things we came across and still made traveling light. 

Once the deal had been struck, the demons headed back the way they came, leaving the children behind with the group of people. I say people, but as I moved closer, I absolutely knew that they were vampires, and a fifth of the best that Nevada had to offer in the way of blood was what had sealed the deal. They took the three youngest, and I knew then that they were meant to be snacks at a later time based on the way they were being treated, but it seemed like the two oldest ones were about to be given to the nest straight away, so I shot the vampire closest to me in the back before grabbing my angel blade from it’s sheath. It worked as well as a machete on this kind of a thing. I saw two vamps go down on the other side of the fire as mine fell. Dean had reacted faster than me. Now that there were only four standing, I moved forward stealthily with my angel blade in hand. 

They saw Dean first, and what a sight he was. It was no wonder that a short female vamp backed away from him and almost straight to me before I took her head. He really did look fierce. _I wouldn’t want to be one of these vamps . . . especially with kids being involved._ I heard a noise behind me and saw another vamp come out of the darkness. It meant there were more than just these 7 vampires, although the ones near the fire were clearly the leaders if the rest were hanging out in the woods waiting for their scraps. _Does that mean there are 7 nests here?_

I knew we’d have to hunt them all down, because they’d get our scent and track us back to the camp, but I didn’t have time to think of that before this one pounced. I looked up and saw a low hanging branch, jumped up and grabbed it, swung my legs up, and kicked the vampire in the chest. When it stumbled back, I dropped back down and kicked it in the side to turn it away from me, made its knee buckle with a swift kick to the back of it, and then swung my blade to cut off its head as its knees hit the ground. I looked over and saw Dean had taken out two of the vamps near the campfire already and was fighting with the leader one-on-one. He had it covered. 

That’s when I saw another female vamp crawling sneakily from the trees towards the children. They were all huddled together near the center of the small clearing and easy prey, so I sprinted up to her from the side and kicked her in the head, like a soccer ball. With the blind determination she’d had in getting to the kids, she hadn’t been expecting it. When she rolled over onto her back, I finished her off quickly and glanced at the kids again. They were still okay. _The vamps are starving. Dean and I aren’t enough of a deterrent for them. Kill the 3 loaded with dead man’s blood, then go guard the kids until Dean’s done._

When Dean was done with the leader, he made his way over to the kids and me after a quick glance to assess the threat from the woods. “Are they okay to move?” 

I looked over my shoulder at the kids. “I think so. They’re scared, but okay. I think the vamps that’re out there are starving. I’d expect them to try to pick us off on the way back to the van. We can’t let any of them go if it means they could follow us back to the camp.” 

“You take them ahead, and I’ll hang back a ways to take out any that come after you.” 

That worked for me, so I went back to trying to unshackle the kids. Dean kept watch and pumped dead man’s blood into another vampire he saw before going to kill it. When I was done with the chains, I sat back on my heels and looked up into their faces. “Hi, I’m Beth and that’s Dean. We’re going to get you out of here. I need you to stay together, move fast, and try to keep an eye out for anything else that comes our way. If I say drop, you fall on the ground immediately, or if I say run, you do it, but do it together, okay.” I waited until I got them to nod that they understood, looked at Dean who gave me the all clear, and grabbed the hands of the youngest two as we made our way away from the light of the fire out into the darkened woods. 

The teenage boy and girl walked in front of me and held hands with the small boy between them. I had to let go of the two smallest kids’ hands about 200 yards into the woods when I heard the sound of snow crunching to my left. “Drop!” All the kids immediately fell to the ground. Moments later, I saw a figure come flying towards us out of my peripheral vision, but it was too close for me to do anything more than crouch down on instinct over the little girl on my left to protect her. 

The figure slowed a couple of steps before it got to me, allowing me time to turn in my crouch, lift its legs from under it, and tackle it onto its back. I scrambled up and away from it drawing my angle blade as I moved, but Dean got there first and told me to go. That’s when I noticed the dart sticking out of its neck and grinned at him briefly in thanks before telling the kids to get up and move together the way we had been before the attack. 

Getting out of the woods, the snow helped light the way, but now we were out in the open, and the kids couldn’t exactly move very fast in the snow. I heard footsteps coming from over my right shoulder and knew it wasn’t Dean from the speed and direction, so I let go of the girl and the boy and told them all to run towards the barns, and I would catch up. I turned in time to take a hit from the vamp head on and tumbled onto my back. As I hit the ground, I brought my legs up to kick it up and over me and then rolled to get up into a ready position. 

When it rushed me again, I impaled it through the stomach, which I suppose you could say caught it by surprise. That wouldn’t kill it and neither would the surprise, so I didn’t waste any time before kicking it off my angel blade, twirling the blade around and slicing off it’s head from right to left. Glancing back, I saw Dean sprinting towards me from the woods after finishing a vampire off himself, but it looked like there might be a couple just coming out of the trees behind him, so I pointed behind him. 

He looked annoyed before he stopped, turned, and waved me on. I paused for a second to see if he had it, but he’d already shot one with a tranq dart by then, so I figured he’d be all right with the second one and took off towards the kids, who hadn’t really gotten that much further. They’d done what I asked and stayed together with the two teenagers taking a small kid each on their backs while continuing to hold onto the other small kid’s hands. 

When I got to them, I took the hand of the young kid between them, so they didn’t have to keep slowing down for him, and pushed them to keep running. I still needed to respond to anything that got past Dean, so I had to have my hands mostly free, or I would’ve given the little boy a piggyback ride too. That poor kid’s legs barely made it over the top of the snow every time he lifted his foot to take a step forward. 

Rounding the corner of the barns, Dean caught up with us and took the two kids on the teenager’s backs before running with them to the van. After he checked that the van was still clear, he came back to help with the last one and told the teens to put a move on it. “Did we get all of ‘em?” 

Dean shook his head. ”I don’t know. You stay here with them and make sure you all put on that ash while I’m gone.” After he took off back around the corner of the barn, I climbed into the van, and grabbed some of the disgusting vampire masking stuff out of my bag. I thought the kids should know I wasn’t trying to poison them, so I put some on myself first, and then I handed it to the teenage boy behind me. 

“If vampires catch your scent, they can track you . . . and they’ll remember your scent for life, which means that if Dean doesn’t kill all of them, they could follow us after we leave, but this will block our scent from them . . . Putting it on now, doesn’t mean that we’re hidden here. Our footprints lead straight to us, so prepare for company, but hope we don’t get any.” The teenage boy made a face when he smelled it, but did what I said anyway. These kids were so together as a unit, and they followed orders really well. They’d probably stick together when they got back to the camp and would be like their own little family. 

It was a good thing that I stayed behind with them, because maybe twenty minutes after Dean had gone, a vampire came around the front of the barn in front of us moments before I caught sight of two in the side mirrors that were trying to sneak up behind us. _I should really be back there with the kids . . . yeah, and your pistol crossbow wouldn’t be a bad idea either. We’re kind of penned in here. Your tranq gun isn’t enough._

I loaded a tranq dart full of dead man’s blood and crawled over the seats to grab my weapons bag. I put my angel blade on the floor of the van next to me in case I needed it for whatever reason. After I pulled out my crossbow and a jar of dead man’s blood, I dipped the tip of one of my bolts into the blood and handed the jar to the oldest girl. “Hold onto this. Don’t let it get smashed. I might need it again.” She nodded just as a loud thud landed on the roof. _I’ll worry about you later. There’s no way in hell I’m going out there right now._

That’s when two of the three vamps tried to overrun us by pulling the driver’s side door and the back door open at the same time, but I was ready for them. I had my tranq gun in my left hand aiming towards the front and my crossbow in my right hand pointing towards the back and shot them both at practically the same time. It still took a little time for the poison to kick in. The one at the front was closer to us. I quickly grabbed my angel blade off the ground, but it’s not like I could get much of a swing in here, so I stabbed through the front of its neck to slow the vamp down, pulled the blade out, and chopped down through the back of its neck when it slumped between the seats. I kicked the body out before reaching over the driver’s seat to pull the door closed. By the time I did that the one at the back had been knocked out, so I took his head and kicked its body back outside too and quickly shut the back door. _Ha, let’s see you guys try that again._

The one on the roof made a noise as it jumped down, and I distractedly grabbed a bolt that had already been dipped in dead man’s blood from the teen girl. When I realized what she’d done, I looked at her and gave her a quick smile, while telling her thanks, before I loaded it into the crossbow and another dart into the gun. I didn’t know how many more where out there, since I’d been distracted with the first two, but if it was just the one, I still didn’t know which way it would come at us. 

I closed my eyes to focus on listening for which ever entrance it chose and held one weapon in each hand, the way that I had before, so that I could be ready in either scenario. It scratched its nails along the side of the van moving towards the front like Freddy Kruger, but stopped about half way there. I figured that meant it was probably going to try for the back, and that made more sense anyway, since it wouldn’t have the obstacle of the front seats. _Yeah, back door._ Half a second later, it pulled the back door open, and I shot it with the bolt, rose in a half crouch, grabbed it by the shirt, and pulled it into the back of the van. I had to swing down to decapitate it. As I kicked its body out, I brought my tranq gun with me and told the kids to stay inside before hopping out to make sure we were clear. We were . . . well almost. The one on the roof never really got down, so it had been an unknown fourth that had gone in the back to distract me, while the one on the roof tried to go in the front. I made it around the front, shot it in the back, just as it was crawling across the seats, and pulled it out by the back of its shirt. It landed hard on its back before I used my well-trained tree chopping skills on it. 

When I got back in the van, I looked around at the kids to make sure they were okay. They were, but they had blood splatter on their clothes and speckled across their faces. _Well, fuck._ I looked around the rest of the vehicle in horror as I saw the mess I’d made. There was vampire blood pooling and dripping everywhere. The kids were trying to subtly stay out of its way as it slowly ran down the floor towards them from a couple of heads. It made me realize what these kids had just witnessed it in a confined space, and now they, my lab equipment, and our way back were covered in a disgusting mess. 

I grabbed some gauze from my new first aid kit and tried to sop some of the blood up near me before throwing fresh packs of it to the kids. “Sorry guys. I probably should have told you to close your eyes so you didn’t have to see that. It’s kind of gross in here now, and we have a ways to go before we get back home. Use this guaze to keep it away from you if you can. Make sure you don’t get it in your mouths, eyes, or any cuts. If you do, you’ll start to turn into one. If you have already gotten blood in any of those places, or if you do, we have a cure, so don’t worry about it. Just let me know, so I can mix it up for you. I’ll, uh, I’ll get rid of the heads now and, uh, try to clean up more of the blood when Dean gets back. I, uh, have to keep watch until then. Of course there’s room in the passenger side seat up here if you want to try and all fit up here or take turns or something.” 

I noticed the blood on that seat and quickly began wiping it away with some more gauze while muttering to myself. “Stupid, ffffreaking vampires and their ridiculous amounts of blood going everywhere all the time . . . can’t even find somewhere to freaking sit without it covering everything. I’m sick of them. I’m going to find a way to finish them all off for good, so I never have to see another one again.” _This seat’s a lost cause. This whole van is._ I grabbed the head nearest to me as I tried to tidy the place up a bit and punted it out the front door before moving to the back to do the same with the two heads back there. 

The older boy and girl looked at each other and shared a similar smirk, so I stopped and looked at them in confusion, and the boy said, “Don’t worry about it. We’ve seen a lot worse. We’ll help clean it up. It doesn’t really bother us anymore. It’s just that it’s kind of funny that the Beth Foley, is embarrassed by some blood and is trying to watch her language in front of kids who have spent the last 4 months with demons.” 

I went back to the front seat to keep watch, while cleaning up the driver’s seat the best that I could. “How’d you know I’m Beth Foley?” 

The boy said, “We were told that you’d probably be with a Dean Winchester, and from what we heard, nobody else outside the leader of our old camp would have the type of skills to massacre those monsters in the woods the way you two did. Back at the camp they kinda built you up to be like something out of one of our worst nightmares. You’re supposed to be the reason Hell was unleashed on Earth, and the only thing protecting us from you was the leader of that camp. You’re supposed to be worse than all of the ones running that camp. We were told that we should stay away from you and to report you to the nearest demon if we ever saw you.” _Our fault Hell was unleashed on Earth? Fucking Sam still not taking responsibility for things._

I kept my focus on the blood so I didn’t have to look at them. “Why’d you come with Dean and I if you thought we were that bad?” 

The girl spoke up next. “We were told that Dean was worse than you, so if the two of you were together, we didn’t really have a chance unless we did what you said. It wasn’t until you shielded Claudia from that vampire that we thought maybe you were trying to help, not take us as prisoners.” 

I leaned forward and put my forehead on the seat to try and compose myself. That meant the humans in Sam’s camp wouldn’t trust Dean and I to save them, and they’d blame us for this end of world shit. It also meant they’d be more inclined to turn us in to demons working for Sam if we saved them . . . We still had to save them, but doing that was going to be even harder than I thought. It made me sigh in frustration. “Dean and I are just trying to save as many people as we can . . . We’re not a threat to you.” 

I looked back at them, and they started laughing at me. _What? I didn’t say anything funny._ The teen girl got up with some gauze and handed it to me. “I’m Jenna. He’s Tyrone. We look out for Claudia, Stevie, and Joel. You have some blood on your forehead and nose.” I reached up to feel my forehead and pulled my fingers down to look at them. They were covered in the fucking blood I couldn’t get away from. I looked at where I had put my head on the seat and made a face when I realized I had put it right in a huge spot of the stuff. 

“Oh for fuck’s sake . . . Shit . . . sorry . . . I’ll just stop talking for now.” They laughed again, even Stevie, and he’d looked sad all day. _Way to go from being a coldblooded killer to a clown in less than 5 minutes, Beth._

We didn’t have any more visitors after that, and at the one-hour mark, my Dean tracker let me know he was moving back towards us from the woods. When he came back into view, he had a tiny little girl with him that was smaller than the three smallest we already had. Her head looked like it’d been shaved recently. She was dirty and extremely thin. Her clothes were too thin for this weather. I hopped out to take her from Dean knowing that she’d probably already been with the vampires for at least two or three weeks before he found her. I was basing that on how long it’d been since the road was used when we got here. I just hoped she wasn’t with them for longer than that. 


	21. Shattered

After Dean left the kids at the van with Beth, he went back into the woods to see if he could find where the tracks from the first 7 vamps came from and followed them to another clearing half a mile away. He killed the 3 monsters that were there and found a couple of kids they’d been guarding. The guards were obviously there so other vampires couldn’t take off with the kids, because it’s not like the kids needed to be confined. They were only about 5 or 6 and had been weakened to the brink of death through starvation, the cold, and being fed upon. They couldn’t even stand. He saw what was left of another child nearby, but there wasn’t much left. _This is why I hate monsters._

Based on the direction of footprints in the snow that led out beyond the far side of the woods, the vamps traveled here from somewhere else. If he’d been alone, he would’ve followed the tracks all the way back to the source to make he wiped them all out, but he wasn’t alone. He had the kids in the van and the two here to get back home. All he had time to do was deal with the vamps in the woods. 

When he was done, it was still the largest nest he’d seen. There were about 25 in total between his and Beth’s kills. They weren’t well organized and seemed to be fractured as a group, so he assumed that meant that this had been a gathering of a few different nests. It made them easier to pick off one by one and two by two, or maybe it hadn’t been hard to clear them out when he was motivated by his need to get the two kids he’d found back to Beth.

Dean made the call to kill off the vampires before bringing the kids back to the van, because he knew he’d have to carry both of them out together. Leaving one behind in an area with a heavy monster presence wasn’t an option. He couldn’t take both kids if he had to fight off anything that came after them, and the vamps wouldn’t let them leave without a fight. 

He’d covered the kids with his coat to try and keep them warm and hid them as well as he could until he could come back for them. He couldn’t help second-guessing whether or not the boy would still be alive if a different choice had been made. The kid had just been too weak to make it out of the woods even though Dean did everything he could to get the boy to hold on a little longer. 

When Beth came to take the little girl from Dean back at the van, he told her he’d cleared out the nest, but had one more thing to do and headed back to the woods. He needed to give the boy a proper funeral. It was the least he thought he could do for him. He was just getting ready to light the fire when Beth and the teenage girl they’d saved came out to find him. Beth must’ve felt confident that the little girl he’d found would survive if she left her . . . or the little girl was dead too. “I couldn’t leave him out here . . . Is she -” He couldn’t finish the sentence. 

“She’ll be okay. Some of her wounds are infected, but I gave her some antibiotics before I left, and Tyrone is giving her some food and water and has her wrapped up in a space blanket. He’s taking care of the rest of them too. It’s what he’s used to doing where he’s been, and he knows how to handle a crossbow.” All of Beth’s attention was on the little boy on the pyre, so when she was done updating Dean in on the little girl, she went over to rearrange the boy and make it look like he was sleeping. 

The teen girl watched Dean warily for a few moments before following Beth. When she saw the boy, she told him she was sorry. She did everything she could not to cry and with a stuttering breath took off her coat to wrap the boy in it. Beth gently tried to tell her to keep her coat. “No, when Sarah said it was Tommy and described him, I had to know if he was one of mine. He was. I want him to have it.” Beth dropped it and took off her own coat to give to the girl before stepping back next to Dean. She was giving him space, but not so much that she was out of arms reach if he needed it, and the teen took the torch from him and lit the pyre herself. 

Watching the flames, something inside Dean broke and from there he began to crumble piece by piece. The kids they’d rescued today hadn’t just been in the path of the demons that brought them here. They’d been held somewhere else first, and the two older ones had taken on the responsibility of all the younger ones that they’d been imprisoned with because there had been no adults there to do it. They were it. 

Even teenage girls like this one had to live with death and responsibility and keeping their emotions in check, and she was still just a kid. She should be shopping at the mall or going to parties or whatever it was normal girls that age did. How many more were out there in places like this and didn’t have he and Beth there to save them? How many had already died because of this trading post and other trading posts like it around the country, while he’d been in denial about the camp in Nevada? For the sake of these kids and for the all the others still in that Nevada camp, he couldn’t deny it anymore. Sam was behind this. 

He glanced at Beth. She felt this loss and was probably thinking something along the same lines, except she wouldn’t be blaming him for not taking care of it sooner. They’d both use it to fuel them on to make sure that these deaths stopped happening, but she’d be able to get past this kid’s death and think of today as an overall win because of the kids they’d saved. He wouldn’t be able to do that. 

He could only see this kid dying, because this kid had died in his arms, and he could only see all the other losses that had already happened and would continue to happen until he stopped it. He couldn’t feel the anger at Sam yet. Not past his grief over the countless dead and guilt, because he had been the one to let this happen. He’d been an accomplice in this by doing nothing about it until now. 13 weeks. That’s how long ago Beth told him that she thought the Nevada camp was run by Sam and for 13 weeks he’d been avoiding having anything to do with it. He hadn’t even gone to check the place out because part of him knew she was right, and he didn’t want her to be. 

He could see each step in the path that had lead to Tommy’s death now that he was standing at the end of it and knew each and every point when he should’ve done more to try and get through to Sam. He should’ve dealt with what Sam did to Jo the day he found out. Sam killing her should’ve been his wake up call. He should’ve done more than take his brother out on the road to try to get him to stop researching those fucking prophecies. He should’ve locked Sam up until Sam told him what he was planning. He should’ve pushed harder on getting Sam to let him in on his plans when he found out that Sam was still on the demon juice after Famine instead of letting it go to get Sam into detox. He should’ve pushed harder when he and Sam had that talk the night before they killed Lucifer. He should’ve held off on killing Lucifer. The Croat virus would’ve been let out, but Lucifer was the only thing holding Sam back. 

He shouldn’t have just left Sam at Bobby’s to go out in the world and do whatever the fuck he wanted after Sam sold Beth. He shouldn’t have left that prophet kid behind either. Sam wouldn’t be turning the few remaining humans into monsters if he didn’t have that kid. He hadn’t thought Sam would do all this to become the new God, but he should have, because he knew Sam. Sam was his responsibility. 

All those things he should’ve fucking done, and he’d done none of them. If he’d done his job even once, Sam wouldn’t be doing this now. Was this a single thing he’d fucked up? No, it was years and years of doing the wrong thing with Sam that let Sam think that this was okay, and it was a year and a half of taking his eye off the ball from the time Sam started looking into the prophecies until now. It was one thing falling after another in a domino effect, and if he’d been able to stop even one of them from toppling over, then he wouldn’t be standing there staring at the dying flames of a funeral pyre for a little kid he hadn’t been able to save and wondering somewhere in the back of his mind if it would really come down to Sam or the other humans that were left . . . maybe even ones that were dead if their souls weren’t even safe in Heaven. 

“This is not your fault, Dean.” _What is she doing?_ She always gave him space unless he didn’t want it. She never pushed him on things. Never. And he wasn’t going to ask for her help this time, because he didn’t want it. He didn’t deserve it or her. “This is all the vamps and Sam or if you don’t want to blame him yet, because you can’t or you won’t, then you can blame me –“ 

“Now’s not the time, Beth.” He turned to walk away. 

“It is the time. You have to hear it even if you don’t believe it. You did not do this-“ s

He turned back to her and said, “Really? I fucked up with Sam and made the wrong choices every time they were given to me, and then after you told me about it and that shifter told me about it, I ignored it and let it keep happening.” 

“What about my choices? I chose to get that tablet instead of finding out the identity of the betraying rulers. If I had done that, we could have prevented all of this. Or if I hadn’t chosen to go get that tablet in Montana or if I’d hidden it better, then at least he wouldn’t have the tablet or the prophet, and he wouldn’t be using them to grow his army. If-“ 

“You don’t know him the way I know him! I should’ve seen this coming. This doesn’t have anything to do with you, Beth!” She exhaled to stay calm. 

“It has everything to do with me. I’m the one that has this information locked away in my head. Whoever has the knowledge has the power, right? That’s what everyone keeps saying they want, and that, at the end of the day, is why all of the people we haven’t been able to save are dead.” 

This wasn’t her fault. She’d been hiding out in one of the libraries in Heaven and found a few scraps of paper somewhere that she knew were bad news and destroyed. She shouldn’t have even been up there in the first place. Raphael set this in motion, and Sam and Crowley followed his lead. 

“And that . . . whatever you’re thinking right there as a way to try and defend me, Dean. It’s the same reason that you are not to blame for this . . . You wanna talk about the choices you made? How about we talk about the ones you didn’t make. You didn’t decide to let the Croatoan virus out. You didn’t choose to turn the adults who are left into monsters. You aren’t the one who decided to drink demon blood to get what you want. You didn’t decide that children should be sold to monsters. You asked Sam to tell you what he was planning 20, 30, 40 times, and he made the decision for things to end up this way each and every time he didn’t tell you. You told him what would happen if he took over for God. He could’ve told you then that he’d let the virus out, and we could’ve stopped it before you went to kill Lucifer, but he chose not to do it. If you really think you could’ve ever imagined that your brother would do things on par with the Lucifer you saw in 2014, then you’re kidding yourself, because you never would have seen this coming. It’s not something that would’ve ever entered your mind, because it more than crosses a line you wouldn’t cross . . . it’s like Sam shot right past the line and headed onto a different planet you didn’t even know existed. You’re not the one who was given a choice in any of these people dying just because Sam’s your brother. Sam was the one who made those decisions. You can’t control the free will of others. Free will leads to good and free will leads to bad and what determines the way it goes is the individual person that uses it, not those people’s advisors. Did we know Sam had a camp? Yes. Have we made mistakes by not going to check it out? Yes, but there are a lot of people at home that would’ve died if we hadn’t found them on our missions, because we would’ve been busy in Nevada while they were starving or freezing to death near where we live. Did we know Sam had these trading posts or what he was trading people for until that shifter said it a week and a half ago? No. Could we have done anything about it after we heard? We’re doing it now, and we haven’t even made it back home yet . . .You can feel the loss of the lives that are gone and anger and hopelessness and even the fear that you may have lost him for good this time, but your guilt and self-loathing will tear away at you until you have nothing left, and you are too good of a man for me to let that happen to you . . . And you’re not supposed to do this alone. It’s why I’m here. It’s why I was always supposed to be here, and I will not leave you. Not ever.” 

His chest felt tight. He didn’t know why he’d stayed, but he couldn’t tear himself away or not listen to her even though he didn’t want to hear it. Maybe it was because she looked like she was scared that he wouldn’t hear her out, and he didn’t have it in him to fight with her when she looked like that on top of everything else he was feeling. She may not ever be scared of him, but she was scared of losing him, and she thought this might make that happen. 

She’d turned back to the pyre to stay until the girl was ready to go, and he could go back to the van to figure things out on his own if he wanted. But he’d never been very good at getting through these types of things on his own, and all of this, he thought, while watching the teenage girl trying to hold it together as the pyre finally fell, was too much. He was overwhelmed by everything that was running through his mind, and he didn’t know what to do with any of it. 

He felt more than broken. He felt shattered and like he had nothing left, and he didn’t have the strength to push Beth away, because he needed something to help him out of his free fall. And she was his parachute, so he gave in and pulled her to him in a tight embrace, using her for support while all of the feelings and thoughts he’d been trying to deal with crashed down onto him at once.


	22. Picking Up the Pieces

Dean was using the job of getting us all back home as a way to put one foot in front of the other on our way back to the van, and that was okay in the short term or even for a couple of days, because nobody could feel what he’d been feeling at the funeral for long, but I was worried that this was more than a natural reaction to the pain and grief and anger and guilt short circuiting him until he was numb. I was worried that the Dean I knew so well was gone. 

I couldn’t let him become what Zachariah showed him in the future. He needed to be reminded that he was important as something more than a brother or a soldier and that he mattered as a human being all on his own and that the people he’d saved mattered as much as the ones he couldn’t. 

He was the only reason we had a camp or any survivors at all. He needed to remember the ones that were lost, but he had to focus on the ones still here. The wins with each survivor we got were important. If he couldn’t hear it, then he needed to be shown. That meant that at this critical stage where he could go either way, the best thing for him, was to spend time with Sarah, the little girl he saved, so when we got back to the van, I said, “I’m driving. I’d let you do it, but I kinda made a mess of the driver’s seat, and it’s the least I can do until we find somewhere to clean it.”

He ignored me and pulled open the driver’s side door, but when he saw the seat was caked in blood, he decided to go around to the other side. Jenna climbed in the back and tried to hand my coat to me through the front seats. 

“I’ve had that one for a long time. I was thinking the other day that it’s time for a change. If you wash it to get all the blood out when we get back home, you can keep it. It looks better on you anyway.” I doubted she’d heard a compliment, even a small one, in what felt like a lifetime for her. And I figured the only way she’d keep it is if I made her think I didn’t want it anymore, since she wasn’t used to receiving charity. Her own coat hadn’t been that thick or heavy, and at least mine would keep her warm. She deserved that and so much more for what she’d done for the other kids she’d taken under her wing and for giving her coat to the little boy she couldn’t save. I’d find another one somewhere else. 

Pulling away from the farm, I asked Tyrone how Sarah was. She’d been a mess when she got to me, and she was full of fang marks, but she would live. She was strong and a fighter and her stubbornness was apparent when Tyrone said what I’d expected him to say. “She’s pretty weak, but I didn’t want her to eat too much in case it made her sick. She still won’t go to sleep, because she keeps asking for her angel.” She’d been asking for Dean since he left her at the van, but she thought he was an angel and wouldn’t be content until she saw him again. 

Dean was looking out the window and not paying attention, so I nudged him. “Sarah is asking for you.” 

He looked at me like I’d grown two heads until we heard a drowsy whisper from the back. “I need my angel. I can’t go to sleep without him. He’s the only one who can protect me.” 

Dean went to protest, so I shrugged and said, “It’s up to you, but if you want her to get any sleep, you need to go see her. She’s pretty determined if she was able to hold on for this long waiting for you.” I was playing dirty, and he knew it, because he gave me a quick glare before changing it to the patient expression he used with kids as he moved back between the seats.

As soon as she finally saw him, she gasped and loudly whispered to Tyrone, “There he is! I told you I had an angel. He made sure Tommy wasn’t alone when he went to Heaven, and he saved me from the monsters.” 

When Dean got closer, he took a knee next to her and Tyrone. “Hi, Sarah . . . I’m Dean . . . Shouldn’t you be asleep?” I hazarded a look back, and she looked like kids look when they don’t know what to say to Santa Claus as she nodded up at him reverently. 

“Angel-Dean, will you stay with me and make sure nothing bad tries to get me while I sleep?”

I heard him sigh in defeat. “Sure. Except I’m way better than an angel.” 

She gasped. “Are you God?” Dean took her from Tyrone and moved to sit back with her against the side of the van. 

I cracked a small smile when I heard his response. “Nope. God’s gone on vacation, so he left me in charge of cleaning up his mess. If you go to sleep, I’ll introduce you to a real angel when we get back home.” 

She kept asking him questions that I couldn’t quite hear for the next few minutes until she finally drifted off, but Dean stayed with her, and he stayed awake all night keeping watch, like he told her he would. 

I looked back a little while later and saw the other three kids leaning up against him fast asleep. Jenna and Tyrone were sleeping up against one another just across from him. They all obviously trusted Dean to be back there with them, so they musn’t have believed the disinformation they’d been given about him anymore. It was probably the first proper sleep they’d had in 4 months if that’s how long they’d been at the Nevada camp. It was definitely the first time they’d been truly safe, and it was exactly what Dean needed whether he knew it or not.

Early the next morning, I got to a fork in the road. I knew it was a fork in the road despite the snow being piled so high, because everything in front of us had been ploughed recently, or we could go right down a second road that had also been cleared of snow and led to a little town off in the distance. I stopped and puzzled over what to do. Dean got up and handed Sarah to Jenna before climbing up to see why we weren’t moving. “Think it’s another trading post?” I didn’t know. 

“It’s awfully close to the last one . . . unless there are a lot more of them than I thought.” I glanced at him, and he looked unsure, so I gave him a reason to go check it out. “You and I have just been getting by on the stuff we’ve found in the places we’ve stayed, so we need to find food for the kids anyway, and the town looks small enough not to attract the attention of demons looking for us, but big enough that we could try and find some supplies in it.”

Dean looked in the back to talk to the kids. “Were you guys the only ones in that truck?” 

Jenna answered. “Yeah, but we weren’t the only truck that left. They send out trucks once a week to different places, but they only put 5 of us in each one, and none of us know where they all go, just that nobody ever comes back except the demons.” 

“If it is them and they were coming from Nevada, they came way too close to home if they went north of the lake to get here.” It was a harder trek the further north you went, but we’d slogged through it instead of through Indiana and Illinois, because the snow was so heavy up here that we’d thought we wouldn’t run into anything looking for us. We didn’t want to risk giving away the location of our base or me. It also had the added benefit of having fewer abandoned vehicles in the middle of the road that we weren’t able to see anymore underneath the thick blanket of snow, and maybe we’d done it to give ourselves a little more alone time, but hey, if we hadn’t, then we wouldn’t have the 6 kids in the back. 

“You didn’t see anything different about the roads until just here,” Dean confirmed. 

“No. Everything was as difficult to get through as it has been.” I opened my door and hopped out. If there were humans in that town, they were probably running things the way we did to get supplies from nearby if they had a snowplow. They wouldn’t trust us and might come out firing or maybe they had ambushes set up at places that would blow the tires, and with the kids, I couldn’t chance losing the van or having them attacked. If there were other non-humans inhabiting that town, than it was better to go in on foot so they wouldn’t hear the engine.

“Stay here and watch the van,” Dean said meeting me around the front to block me from heading down the road into town. 

“What? I’m not letting you go in there on your own when we don’t know what it is.” 

“Someone has to stay here with them.” 

_I’m not used to being the one left behind anymore._

“I know, but . . . you don’t have a coat. It’ll take at least half an hour to get there from here on foot, and I know you’d rather die on your own terms from hypothermia, but I want to keep you around a little longer, so stay here.” He was referencing the first morning I met him. It made me want to smile . . . and he was bringing logic into it. It was pretty cold outside. _Nicely played._

“Well, you could give me yours. You’re the one that’s needed as the world’s best hospital bed.” 

He grinned. “Yeah, that’s another thing . . . you owe me one after last night, and after this we’ll be even.” 

_What good is being even if there are a bunch of demons and monsters down that road?_ “I was wondering when you’d play that card. Didn’t think it’d be a couple of hours later. You’re sure you don’t want to hold onto it for another time, because you know there’ll be more?” 

He looked behind him towards the town and nodded before looking back down at me. “I’m sure.” I finally gave in and climbed back into the van before settling in to keep a watch for anything that might come our way. I kept my attention split between that, handing out the last of our food, taking care of Sarah’s injuries, and waiting for Dean to get back until I heard a dog barking almost 2 hours later. _Skinwalker?_ I calmly loaded my silver magazine, so I didn’t freak the kids out, but when I saw the dog that’d barked, I got out to meet it and its owner, because it looked like we were going home. 

Chuck had had a vision that we’d been left stranded by the cop and firefighter, but too late to warn us using the sat phone. When he got the vision about what happened last night at the trading post, he got enough details to tell the rest of them where we were. Bobby didn’t want to leave it to anyone else to find us, so he told Adam, Rufus and Cas to stay behind and keep running the camp. He’d wanted to bring Jasper to warn him if there were vampires, because Chuck’s vision clearly included them, and Jasper could sniff them out now, but I guess Carrie wouldn’t let the dog leave without her. Bobby said she reminded him a little of me, because she was just using the dog as an excuse to come out and find us herself. It did sound a little like something I would’ve done, but I didn’t say that. 

He finally told her she could come. His thinking had been that it would be good to get her used to going out on missions to help ease the burden on the rest of the hunters. He wanted to start doing it with the other strong hunter candidates too. 

_I know it was always the plan, but I’m not ready to bring them in on it yet . . . Adam wasn’t much older than Carrie when you started taking him hunting, and everyone has to start taking on more responsibilities. It doesn’t have to be all at once._ I came up with a plan on the way home. None of the younger people would be going out without two fully trained hunters to start. That meant teams of three could go out for now until they were able to prove themselves and could start going out together in pairs, and even then they’d have one trained hunter with them until the training wheels could come off completely.


	23. Planning for Vegas

“Beth . . . I’ll take her. Tell Bobby we need to get the camp council together in half an hour. We don’t need the outposts on this one, and we’ll have it in the hunter’s shack.” Dean went up to her to take Sarah off her hands now that they’d made it past the front gates. He’d told Sarah he’d introduce her to Cas when they got back, so he was following through on that. She’d been through a lot already, and she needed to believe someone wouldn’t let her down. If she thought that he wouldn’t, than it was his responsibility to make sure he didn’t, and he wouldn’t let the other 5 they brought back with them down either, just because he’d brought them somewhere safe. 

He paused before Beth left and added, “Might be a good idea to have Ty and Jenna there too. They can debrief us. Have them meet Ben and let them know he’ll look after the other three while they’re in the meeting. I don’t think they’ll want to be separated from the others unless another kid is watchin’ ‘em.” Beth smiled at him briefly and nodded before saying she’d take care of it. 

He knew as soon as Beth had said that Sarah needed to see him to go to sleep last night that she’d played him. He should’ve seen it coming. He knew all her moves, but then he hadn’t been himself, and she was punching below the belt, which she didn’t normally do . . . she didn’t want to lose him . . . but she wouldn’t . . . he wouldn’t let her down either. He didn’t want to make Beth feel like she was alone in this. Looking after the kids last night helped give him a new driving force. He was going to get all of the kids Sam still had back. He was going to destroy every last trading post and monster alliance Sam had and dismantle Sam’s empire starting from the outside and working his way in until he could get the tablet and the prophet back. But first he had to find Cas, because he had a promise to keep.

Everyone was in the hunter’s shack 30 minutes later. Dean didn’t want prying eyes and ears to know what they were discussing. They’d just been debriefed by the teens. Now they had a loose layout of the Nevada camp, but the kids didn’t have all the details on numbers of demons or humans or even where all the monsters were kept, and they didn’t know where the fathers of the shifters, werewolves, skinwalkers, or tablet were being held either, but he hadn’t really expected them to know any of that. 

Dean watched Ty and Jenna leave and saw the other four kids they came in with standing outside the door with Ben. They’d taken Sarah in as one of their own, and after Cas healed her to show her what a real angel could do. She wouldn’t have any scars to remind her of the vampires, but she’d still have the memories. She and the others would probably all be okay. They were strong . . . He didn’t know if all the kids at Sam’s camp had been forced into being like these 6 to survive, but there was something about these 6 kids he liked a lot . . . they were a family forged through hardship. 

Ben was still his favorite even though he’d never openly admit it. He just got that kid. Ben did a lot around the camp he didn’t have to do . . . He was kind of the camp’s unofficial welcoming committee for all the new kids, so he’d take these 6 kids now, show them around the camp, and fill them in on what’s what. Ben had started doing that without anyone telling him to and the adults just let him do it now. Maybe it’s why the other kids listened to Ben. He was the first authority figure at the camp they got to know here. Dean figured Ben needed a job like that, so he could help the others without having to think about himself or his mom. It’s what helped Ben keep going.

Stephen grinned and said, “So, it looks like we’re going to Vegas.” It drew Dean’s thoughts back to the meeting. Stephen was all right when he wasn’t trying to hit on Beth or undermine his authority. He’d stopped all that bullshit after his mission with Beth, and Dean felt like he owed Stephen one for helping Beth out on the wall when she’d been runnin’ things in the camp on her own. They hadn’t had any problems with Stephen on missions since he’d been paired up with Pamela, and he’d been contributing in these council meetings. He was a part of the camp now. 

“Yeah, Sam set that up on purpose. It’s his . . . peace offering to let me know I can come back anytime I want.” Dean sighed and sat back in his chair. Vegas had always been more his thing, not Sam’s. It’s the only reason Sam would go there. Set up an oasis in the desert to entice him back. Not gonna happen, but it showed how far off base Sam was if he thought that’d work. 

“What do you wanna do,” Bobby asked Dean from his position across from him. 

“We’re gonna start by following those trucks that leave Vegas to the trading posts, so we can find out where they all are, burn ‘em to the ground, and kill every last monster we find along the way. We need to dismantle the whole operation from the outside and work our way in towards the city.” 

Adam was next. “Won’t that mean we’ll be using the trucks as bait to find the monsters?” _Yeah, I know Adam._

“Yeah, I don’t like it either, but we have to find the other trading posts. The monsters might be rationing themselves on kids, and we have to save those kids too. Sarah, the smallest one we brought back with us; she was with the vamps for 2 weeks. We’ll just have to take the monsters out before the trucks are unloaded . . . and every monster at those trading posts has to die. The trading post in Michigan had at least 25 vamps, so expect large numbers at the others.” Dean paused and took a deep breath before looking at all of them. “This won’t be easy for any of us . . . Every survivor we save or lose will be a kid. Every last one of the adults are being used as meat suits or being turned into werewolves and skinwalkers for Sam’s army.” 

Bobby looked like he took that hard, but he hid it fast. Bobby loved Sam like a son so seeing how he dealt with all this might give Dean a better idea on how he would deal with it later. Right now he couldn’t go there, or he’d fall apart again. 

Adam looked pissed off and kinda like he was gonna be sick. Dean knew Adam blamed himself for Sam getting the tablet. Dean didn’t. If Adam had gone out there that night, Adam would probably be dead. Who knew how many demons had been there or how desperate the person trying to get their soul back was? Mostly, Dean was glad that Adam hadn’t known.

The rest of the council looked grim at the realization that unless they stopped this soon, the people in the outposts and here at the camp were all that would be left. The demons were finding people faster than this camp could on these supply runs. 

When nobody else said anything, Rufus said, “Now I met Sam a few times. Got any idea why he’d do all this?” Looking around the table, it was clearly what the rest of them were thinking. 

Dean went to shake his head, but Beth said, “Because of me.” She wasn’t ever going to let that go. Maybe he’d gotten it wrong last night when he thought she was able to get past the losses. She felt all of them . . . she just dealt with it different than him. She didn’t like thinking about things that bothered her, but it didn’t mean it wasn’t there in the back of her mind all the time. 

Now he wondered if these people would blame her the way she did. They were all waiting, so she glanced at him apologetically and took a deep breath before looking at Rufus. “The day I was born . . . I was taken to Heaven and half my soul was removed. They put half of me back in my body, and she became Rachel McCoy, a hunter some of you knew. She was never supposed to exist, and I am mostly the way I always should’ve been, because I’m the original part of the soul. She was taken from me, not the other way around. I tend to think of her as my evil twin, but it’s probably easier to understand if you think of us as identical twins that were separated at birth. She came to Earth, and I stayed in Heaven.” 

Beth paused to make sure everyone got what she was saying. Some did. Some didn’t. She kept going anyway. “I aged at the same rate she did down here. While she was having her Mom and Dad teach her how to walk, I was figuring it out by holding onto the wall of my cell. While she was in school learning the alphabet, I was learning how to break out of my cell. People aren’t supposed to age in Heaven, and they couldn’t let anyone that worked for Michael know that I was there. To hide me, they kept me in Heaven’s prison. I wasn’t with the other angels in prison. I was kept in solitary confinement . . . no light, one door, hidden in the back of the prison . . . very few angels have ever been kept in solitary, so it’s not like many in Heaven even know that place exists.” She had their attention even if some of them didn’t understand it still, so she kept going.

“Think of Heaven like a theater stage. On the stage is where all the humans go for the show, but back stage is where all the action and the ones running the production are. I was back stage with the angels the whole 29 years that I was up there. That means that when I started breaking out of my cell . . . I got access to things humans don’t.” 

She glanced at Cas, and he nodded, like that was a good way to explain Heaven. “I didn’t know what I was when I was a kid. I just knew I wasn’t an angel, and I knew they called me North Star. I wanted to know what I was, so I started breaking out when I was 6, and I made the mistake of asking the first angel I came across if she knew what a North Star was. That didn’t go very well, because I ended up being sent back to my cell, so I taught myself to read and went looking in libraries for the answers. There are hundreds of libraries up there full of books and tablets and scrolls, but a lot of the libraries had angels in them, and I always ended up back in my cell faster if I went to those libraries than if I went to the darkest libraries where no angel has been for thousands of years. After a few years, I finally found a prophecy that said something about the North Star, and how I was supposed to be tied to the righteous man. I destroyed the prophecy, so nobody else alive . . . as far as I know . . . has ever read that one,” she paused and looked at Dean, and he actually felt relieved nobody had read it or if they had the angels didn’t remember it and couldn’t find it now, but he was confused at the same time, because why didn’t she tell him she remembered all this until now? 

“One day I pulled out some texts and found something completely unrelated to the North Star, but I knew nobody could have it. It was the location and instructions on how to use 10 tablets that could be put together to take God’s power from him . . . I destroyed it, but I memorized it like I did everything else I destroyed up there. I set up a meeting with God . . . I don’t remember that meeting, but because of that meeting, God let me get my body back from Rachel when she died . . . I guess God wanted me down here, so Dean could help me protect what I know about the tablets and figure out what to do with them when I remember where they are . . . There were prophecies that were written about me finding that information and about Dean helping me protect it and about the two of us protecting the humans that are left after a war . . . I guess that one meant right now with the way things are going . . . Anyway, Sam found some or most of those prophecies that were in circulation down here, but he didn’t know I was who he was looking for until after he sold me to Crowley the day the Croatoan virus broke out in St. Louis.” 

She paused again to look down out her hands. “Me slipping though his fingers that day is why Sam’s done this. He wants an army, so that if he finds me again, he’ll be able to hold onto me if the King of Hell and the archangel Raphael and their armies both try to take me away before he gets what he wants. They all want to take on the role of God, and if anyone does . . . then everyone here will be destroyed along with all the people who are already dead that you thought you might get to see again some day, the monsters, the angels, birds, trees, everything that the current God has created will be destroyed when a new God takes control . . . I still have no idea where the tablets are . . . I won’t remember where they are until the right time or something triggers it in me.” 

She took a deep breath and looked back up at everyone. “So now the rest of you know, and now you know what’s at stake. Nobody outside these 4 walls can know about it . . . everyone’s future depends on making sure none of this gets back to someone or something it shouldn’t.” 

Bobby had to explain to Rufus why he didn’t tell him about it sooner, but none of them seemed to hold it against her. They looked like they felt the weight of the situation if it was the first time they were hearing about it . . . but maybe it also gave them all a reason to fight, not that they needed one, but everyone here had lost someone or a lot of people that meant something to ‘em and fighting to protect the ones they’d already lost even though they were already dead . . . that seemed to give them all even more of a reason to fight.

A couple hours later, they were finalizing everything, and the teams going out would be Dean and Adam, Ivan and Yuri, Bobby and Rufus, and Pamela and Stephen; 4 teams to hit the 4 convoys as they left for their weekly runs to the trading posts. Deacon and Sue were going drive the buses of kids back. Beth and Cas were staying at the camp.

Beth hadn’t said anything, since she’d revealed that she remembered what happened in Heaven. They were already agreed and ready to go out the door when she finally spoke up. “Dean, I need to talk to you, Cas, Bobby, and Adam alone.” She was blocking him. She’d been blocking him from being able to read her since this meeting started, and watching the rest of the council except for what they considered their family leave, Dean got the feeling he wasn’t going to like whatever it was she was about to say. 

She waited until everyone else was gone before she said, “Adam can’t go anywhere near Vegas or Sam because if Sam ever sees Adam again, I have no doubt he will kill him. He’d say something, like ‘I’ll give him back to you if you help me become God . . . hand Beth over.’ Adam means very little to him. When Sam was sober and planning this, his plans were to go back and change things for you and Sam. If that could happen and not just destroy the universe, then your Dad wouldn’t have gotten into hunting, and Adam wouldn’t have been born. There’s no way that a doped up Sam would be any better. I honestly think Sam is drinking more of the stuff now than he’s ever done to be able to keep as many demons under control as he must have to run the entire city of Las Vegas that’s populated with monsters and humans being held there against their will . . . Cas can go with you, and Adam should stay.” 

She wasn’t holding out on what she really thought of Sam anymore, but what she also wasn’t wrong. Not when Sam already attempted it with that basilisk, and that was when he was sober too. Adam wouldn’t make any trips to Vegas.

Adam saw Dean’s acceptance of what Beth had said, so he went to fight her on it, but she silenced him with one of her looks that told his little brother it wasn’t up for debate, so Adam backed down. She then turned back to Dean. “And he has to stay here, because I won’t be here to help Jody.” _Here it comes._

“Yeah, where are you gonna go, Beth?” Dean said it in a joking manner he didn’t mean. 

“I’m going to go close the gates of Hell that are open all over the world. It would mean you could save the possessed humans who will be driving those kids all over the country instead of killing them. The demons that are exorcised won’t be able to just stroll out of one of the gates and be back in Sam’s camp within an hour or two or 15 minutes; however long it takes them to do it now. It’ll be like it used to be when they got exorcised. They’ll take decades to claw their way topside or won’t do it at all unless they’re smart, powerful, or lucky. We might even be able to do a mass exorcism of Las Vegas on a later mission. It’d get rid of Sam’s demon muscle and leave him with just the monsters that he’ll have to control by himself. Getting in there to liberate the rest of his prisoners, that tablet, and the prophet would be easier. Obviously, you can’t do it on this run, because you’ll have to do recon of the city first, and you’ll be spending all your time tracking down those prisoner trucks. And a mass exorcism will only work once. If he hasn’t put one of those binding sigils on the meat suits for the demons he’s got working for him yet, he will with any new recruits he finds after we do one, but he won’t have near the kinds of numbers he must have now.” 

It wasn’t a bad idea, so, Dean said, “Wait until I get back, and we’ll go together.” 

She shook her head. “Can’t wait on it if you want to save those meat suits on this mission.” No, he needed her with him or somewhere safe like the camp. She wasn’t going on a suicide mission unless he was there. 

“You can come with me, and Cas can stay here. We don’t even know where the gates are. It can wait until after this mission. I don’t want you doing this alone.” 

She already had this planned out, so she shook her head again. “Trust me. Cas needs to go with you. You’re going to need his help on keeping track of the trucks and getting the kids to those buses, so they don’t have to sit in the back of the snowplow the whole time. You’ll see what I mean when you get started . . . I’d love to go with you on this, but I can’t, and I never said I was going alone. I’m going to summon Gabriel, and he will be my backup on this. I think I’ll need an archangel’s help. I’m sure he’s been around long enough to know where all the gates are, which ones are open, and how to close them.” She paused and took a deep breath. “When I’m done with the gates, I’m going to take Crowley out of the game completely. While Hell is scrambling for a new leader, who probably won’t know 1/10th of what Crowley knows about the tablets or me, we’ll be left with Sam and the angels, and Sam’s army will be severely weakened with the gates closed.” 

“Dean, she wants to take down one of the armies and weaken the other, and she has the means to do it,” Cas said in anticipation of what Dean’s response would be. 

“Come on, Cas! Beth’s not doin’ it without me,” Dean said turning to look at his friend before looking back at her and softening his approach. “We’re supposed to be in this together. You and me, a team effort.”   
“We can’t afford to wait on Crowley any more than we can the gates. Do you really think that when you exorcise the drivers of those trucks they won’t tell Crowley the last place you were as a way to try and buy his good favor after switching to Sam’s side? He’s gotta be looking for you after what happened in St. Louis. You’re his wild card now. He teleports everywhere, and he’ll get to you before you can leave. By doing this I am playing my part in this team, and I’m not changing my mind on it.” 

“I don’t need you to protect me from Crowley! How the hell do you plan on killing him anyway, Beth? You just gonna waltz into Hell or wherever he’s hiding out up here?” She sat back and crossed her arms, which meant she wasn’t listening to a damn word he was saying. 

“How do you get rid of spirits, Dean? It’s why I need an angel to take me to Scotland. Fergus Roderick MacLeod born in 1661. That’s who Crowley was when he was a human.” Her getting her memories back was a fucking pain in the ass. This was complete bullshit! 

Even if she was right and it was as simple as a salt and burn, searching for Crowley’s gravesite would take too long when the now reigning King of Hell either had it protected or had taken the bones already. “How’re you plannin’ on finding out where he’s buried if there aren’t any computers? That could take months to dig up in some archive somewhere.” He instantly wished he hadn’t asked that, because she seemed to take that as a sign he was giving in on it. 

“I’ll search every gravestone in Canisbay, Scotland, that I can find.” 

“And if he knows you might know something like that about him . . . you think he won’t have that place guarded? Do you even know if he’s still got the bones there? What if he’s got a trap set up there for you?” 

She cocked her head to the side in thought for a few seconds and responded, “It’s why I’ll have an archangel with me. I’ve already seen what one can do. No demons are gonna want to touch that. As long as nobody here says anything to anyone, he should’ve forgotten all about his bones, but if he hasn’t forgotten about them, then I know he moved them to a crypt in Guam to keep them safe in the future I saw. I can have Gabriel take me to Guam and help me search there if they’re not in Scotland. It doesn’t change what you and the teams have to do when you leave here tomorrow. You have got to save those kids leaving Vegas and take out those outposts, so no more kids can be sent to them.” 

He remembered what happened at the Devil’s gate in Wyoming, and it was only open for a few minutes, not days, weeks, months, or however long they’d been left wide open this time. What if somethin’ came up and dragged her down through one of those gates? No, he wouldn’t let that happen, and he wasn’t gonna lose her to Crowley again. He had one thing left in his arsenal, so he grabbed his knife and slid it across the table towards her. Adam stepped up and said, “Dean –“ but he silenced him with a look and told Beth to cut the palm of her hand. 

She looked at him like he was crazy until it dawned on her what he meant. She shook her head no, but he didn’t back down and ordered her to do it. She didn’t. Instead she looked hurt and then got up and walked out of the cabin followed quickly by Adam. “You’re an ass. You know that?” Well, ass or not he wasn’t letting her do this one on her own. 

Bobby looked at him and said, “I take it you didn’t decide to fill her in on that last level you’re on until just now?” Dean kept his eyes on the door, but shook his head no before looking down. “Couldn’t have done it easier than by tellin’ her in the middle of an argument to get your own way or in front of the rest of us when somethin’ like that is private and just between the two of ya? . . . Well, you found the one way to take her out of this fight and any other fight from now on. We could’ve used her, and her idea wasn’t a bad one as long as she had Gabriel with her. If he’s anywhere near as powerful as his brother was . . . nothin’ woulda touched her.” Then Bobby got up and left him alone with Cas.

What if Bobby was right and he’d just benched her for life? What if it changed her and she was never the same? Maybe that’s part of the reason he hadn’t wanted her to know. Her fight and the way she did things her own way was a big part of who she was. It might drive him crazy, but it was also one of the things he liked about her most. She’d always fought . . . even when she was in Heaven. Her fight was how she’d survived this long. Did he just take the part of her that Sam hadn’t been able to take in that bathtub? He needed to go find her. Explain the healing thing to her. Maybe see if he could fix this.


	24. Runaway

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a change of POV at the break in this one.

“You knew!” I shouted indignantly at Adam when he followed me out of the cabin. He stopped and looked down. _Yeah, that’s what I thought._ “So much for me being able to trust people I thought I could to let me know something as big as this. And thanks for trusting me to not be a fucking liability if I knew. Just leave me alone.” I turned and hopped up the nearest wall before climbing down the other side. Bit of a high drop, but I landed all right, because someone hadn’t bothered to clear out the snow in the trench for a few days. _Fucking slackers._

Adam came to the top of the wall and shouted, “I’m sorry, Beth. Come back, and we can talk about it!” _You have got to be kidding me. I’m not climbing up this damn wall._

“No, leave me alone! I need time to think, so don’t follow me!” I trudged out into the surrounding woods to find a bit of peace and quiet. _How could they not tell me? Who else knows? How long has Dean been getting hurt because of me? If I die he will? That’s just fucking awesome and something I should’ve definitely been filled in on before now._ I let them in on my memories returning and had since it started, but nobody could let me know about something as important as this? 

I didn’t get to think more than that before I heard Adam drop down from the wall behind me somewhere, and Bobby was calling for me now too, so I took off at a run wishing they’d just let me deal with this on my own, but it didn’t look like they were going to make it easy for me.

_Damn snow everywhere making it hard to get away from these people. Why won’t they just leave me the fuck alone?_ I heard Adam shout my name not too far from where I was. _I’m not a fucking child that needs to be chased down like I’m a runaway. If I wanted to be in the cabin or back in the camp I would be. I don’t, so I’m not._ I needed to get away from all of them for a little while. I didn’t trust any of them. 

I inched my way along the tree I was in and made it to the next one easily . . . I was always pretty good at jumping from tree to tree when I was little, and it looked like I could still do it. The last place my footprints were in the snow was a few trees back. I needed to get change my direction and get further away from there, and I should be okay. 

If I heard Jasper join in the hunt to find me, I wouldn’t feel any more like a prisoner than I did then. I spent too much of my life being a prisoner to angels. I wasn’t going to let myself become one to humans as well. I knew how to get away and hide, and that’s all I wanted to do. I just wanted to be alone for a little while. Hopefully Dean didn’t come out with his fucking Beth tracker and make all my efforts futile. 

I could stay where I was in that tree or keep going. _Keep going, but start heading south._ That seemed like the best option. They had to know I was in the trees by this point. I heard Bobby calling for me in the distance to my right and decided to go a little further east. 

_Seriously, just leave me alone. There’s no need to put this much effort in if I just want to be by myself and think for a while. I let Dean do it when he feels the need to go work on the Impala or drink by himself, and I let Bobby work on his cars in the yard or drink himself into oblivion by himself, and I let Adam go off on those long walks after a possessed person gets killed, and I let Cas disappear for weeks at a time when he’s feeling down about something._

They wouldn’t let me be alone, because they thought I was weak . . . too weak to handle something like this and too weak to keep doing my fucking job. _Well, fuck that. God, I wish Gabriel were here. I’d go with him to sort this Hell Gate nonsense out right now._ I couldn’t think about what it might mean for Dean if I died or broke an arm as I jumped to another tree. _Just keep moving until you find somewhere to sort this all out._

I nearly fell out of the next tree I jumped to when I heard a voice from one of the other branches. “Beth, fancy meeting you here. Thought you and I might blow this joint. See what kind of fun we can find out there.” _Holy Hell._

“Gabriel, what are you doin’ up here?” 

“I could ask you the same thing. Whaddaya say we go grab your angel blade and the rest of your stuff and hit the road?” Yeah, all right it cut out having to summon him but . . . 

“God listened just now? And you . . . Joshua’s not the only one that God talks to, is He? Is that why you’re here?” He didn’t answer with anything other than a smirk, which I assume meant either, ‘No, but you got your wish anyway,’ or ‘yeah, but you’ll never hear it from me.’ I could tell Dean was coming up fast on my position and decided to take Gabriel up on his offer. I don’t think I’d ever been that mad at Dean, and I didn’t need anyone’s permission to do anything. When Gabriel took me back to the cabin, I grabbed my things and wrote Dean a note that I left on his pillow and then after a brief incident, Gabriel and I were out of there.

\------------------------------------------------------

Dean went back to the cabin after he felt Beth go there for a few minutes before she disappeared completely. When he got to their room and saw her stuff was gone, he scanned the room and found her note. _Fuck! She’s gone._

“She hasn’t left you in the way that you think, Dean. Read that again.” Dean looked back at Cas before he sighed and read the note again. _‘A team? A team has trust. I’m going on this mission with Gabriel to close the Gates of Hell. I told you I wasn’t going to change my mind on it. Maybe when I’m done, I’ll have earned that trust that I still don’t have from you . . . if I’m not dead, and then I guess I’ll see you on the flip side.’_ Seemed pretty clear to him, and she just couldn’t resist throwing that last line in there, could she? 

He turned to face his friend when Cas said, “Had she stayed here tomorrow while you went to get those children, would you have been leaving her the way that you think she has left you?” No, they didn’t have to be side-by-side to be together, but she’d never left him when she’d been angry or without hearing him out. That’s what made this time different.

“Stop reading my mind, Cas, and she was pissed off when she left this time. She’s not coming back.” Dean went to pack his things, so he could be ready to go in a couple of hours. He wouldn’t get any sleep now, so he might as well take part of the night shift off of somebody when he was done packing. 

“She was angry, but according to Adam, you were angry when she left on her first mission here at the camp. You didn’t stay that way.” 

“Yeah, well, that was different. She didn’t do anything wrong then. I was being a dick. But this time . . . she’s had enough of me doing the same thing I’ve been doin’ wrong since I met her . . . I can’t make myself stop hurting her to keep her safe. I get it. It’s a good reason for her to want to leave.“ Dean rolled up a shirt and stuffed it in his bag. 

“She’s exerting her free will. You cannot force yours on her, and she is letting you know that. She is also asking for you to trust her, because you still don’t. If you did, then you wouldn’t hide things from her.” 

“Me hide things from her? Why didn’t I know about those memories she was going on about tonight?” Dean asked throwing a pair of socks in his bag. 

“She did not know they were there beforehand. She is able to sort through her memories, find the ones she wants, hide the rest, and say them faster than she or I can see what she wants to remain hidden.” 

“Wait, so she’s the one hiding them now?” Cas paused and thought about it, like it was more complicated than that. 

“It’s hard to explain. It’s a little of both right now. I think she’s training herself to take over when the memory blocks completely disappear, but she doesn’t know that she is.” Cas watched Dean throw another pair of socks into his bag and sighed. “If she were leaving you, then she would not have called it a mission. After a mission is complete, soldiers go back home . . . even in Heaven. She left, because she felt trapped and needed to get away. She made her decision in haste, but she will return.” _Yeah, but Beth’s not a soldier, so it doesn’t mean she’s coming back._

“How do you know that’s why she left or why she’ll be back?” Dean asked rolling a pair of jeans and stuffing it in the bag. 

“It’s what she did while she was recuperating from being shot by Jo . . . You called me back after she left, because you tracked where she was through your connection, and you wanted me to go check on her. When I reported back to you that she was gambling, you understood that she needed to get away for a while. You said that we were smothering her too much, and she’d felt like a prisoner. You said she’d been a prisoner her whole life, and her natural reaction was to run from that, but you also said she’d be back, because she left a note. She left a note now. She will be back.” Dean took a deep breath and sat on the bed next to his bag. Cas had a point. She did do that then. He still couldn’t shake the feeling that he’d really fucked up this time.

“Does Beth lie?” 

Dean snorted. “Yeah, all the time.” 

“To you or I?” _Not really. Not since I found out about the gambling._

“When she gets hurt she does . . . but other than that, no.” 

Cas moved to sit in the chair at Beth’s desk next to the bed, so he could face Dean. “Why do you think she lied when she told you she wouldn’t leave you?” Cas still hadn’t gotten the idea that you couldn’t just go around in other people’s heads and read their thoughts. Just because Beth let Cas do it . . . 

“Cas, did you talk to Beth before she left? Is that why you’re pushing this so hard?” 

“I felt Gabriel’s presence in the woods and then here, so I came to see what he wanted. She said she felt hunted in those woods when all she wanted was to be left alone for a while. She was angry, but she also told me to take care of you because she needed me to bring you home. Those are not the words of someone who is so angry that they will not return.” 

_Why didn’t Cas just say that in the first place?_ “Did you tell her what she’s planning is too dangerous?” 

Cas smiled briefly. “Dean, she is with an archangel. She’s safer going to close the Gates of Hell with him than going with you on our mission or staying here in the camp.” Yeah, he knew what kind of juice the archangels had. 

“What’s his interest in this? How’d he get here when she didn’t have time to summon him?” He was covering all his bases while he came around to the idea of her being out there. She’d said in her note that she was closing the gates, not going after Crowley, so that was something. 

“I was going to stop them from leaving, but Gabriel said our Father told him she wanted his help for this mission. He told me through what you call angel radio that she was his charge before I took on that role. He said he’d bring her back in one piece.” 

“Are you tellin’ me he was supposed to be lookin’ out for her from day one?” If that was true, then Gabriel had done a shitty job of following through on that responsibility. 

“No, he did his job during those 4 months you were in Hell.” _So, Gabriel’s the one who gave her a normal life?_ It kinda made sense that Gabriel could do that, since Dean had been stuck in a couple of Gabriel’s made up realities, and they always felt real, well as real as being in TV land could be. He bet Gabriel inserted himself into her fake-normal life too . . . probably as different recurring characters. Gabriel could’ve been her freakin’ best friend in high school, and that’s probably why she trusted him so much. Might even be the way she learned to dole out justice like Gabriel. 

“Does she know that?” 

Cas shook his head no. “You can heal her, correct?” 

Dean’s eyes narrowed. “How many times do I gotta tell you to stop reading my mind, Cas?” 

Cas looked embarrassed for a second before he said, “I’m sorry Dean. I heard you think it after she left our meeting. I wondered if you thought that as long as I’m with you . . . if she’s hurt, I can heal you, and it will work on her as well.” 

“So, as long as you’re around either one of us, I never have to worry about her staying hurt for long. Is that what you’re sayin’?” Cas gave him a nod, and Dean decided that was the best thing he’d heard in a long time, because Cas was usually around one of them. It was good having Cas around to help with the camp, but it was better when Cas was there as his friend. He’d let Beth do her own thing on this one, not that he had a choice in it, but he’d make sure Cas kept in touch with Gabriel, and at least he had Cas to go out on the road with him tomorrow.


	25. Closing the First Gate

_So this is . . . awkward. I didn’t really think this one through. I don’t really know Gabriel at all._ All I remembered of him was meeting him for 30 seconds in that warehouse. Everything else about that meeting was a blank. _At least I didn’t have to suffer through any long road trips with him, but I don’t have a clue what to say . . . Nope. Just focus on scoping out . . . where the hell are we again?_

“Lacus Curtius, in Rome.” _Well, now I know he knows I think this is awkward. Great._ “Aww . . . I’m not so bad once you get to know me, Beth. You know you like me, or you wouldn’t let me read your mind. Got your hellhound glasses on?” I slowly turned my head to look at him wearing the glasses I’d had on since we got here. Maybe he wasn’t so bad. He was kind of cute in a fumbling dad sort of way. 

I smiled at his uncomfortable look. “Yeah, I’m good. You ready to do this? Probably been a while since you’ve had to fight anything, right?” 

“Please . . . I fought against Lucifer, didn’t I?” 

“Nah, two of your doubles probably fought him. Not the same thing.” 

He grinned and said, “Yeah? How’d you remember I have more than one double if your memories about me weren’t starting to come back? I didn’t show you those in that warehouse, and I know Dean only knows about the one, so he didn’t tell you,” before he disappeared. 

I saw Gabriel or one of his doubles pop up near the gate through my scope. He drew the attention of a few demons that weren’t in meat suits and engaged with them in a fight. A few of them weren’t in bodies, and I could barely make out the outline of those, even wearing my glasses, so I was glad he was dealing with them. I could see the Hellhounds better, but he said he’d take care of them too. My job for now was to snipe the 10 possessed people with devil’s trap sniper rounds and hope that I selected rounds that wouldn’t explode but still stay inside the bodies. Guess we wouldn’t know until I tried it. If it didn’t work, then I was going to move closer and using my devil’s trap handgun. I knew that worked. 

_Pick my target, account for wind . . . which eerily there’s no wind near the trap at all . . . hold my breath, breath out, pull the trigger, pull back the bolt, and wait to see if the demon can move._ A version of Gabriel popped up behind the one I’d shot and gave me a thumbs up, so the way I’d marked these rounds seemed to have worked. _Okay, 9 more._

I hit 3 more, and then the other demons decided to scatter. 3 hopped down into the crack in the Earth, which is what the gate here looked like . . . 3 others moved out and away from the gate allowing me to hit 2 more, and the only one left teleported out of there and came up right behind me. I’d have missed it, since I was preoccupied with the hellhound coming towards me, but I heard something scrape some gravel behind me, grabbed my blade laying in front of my chest, and rolled over onto my back to make the demon impale itself as it reached down towards me. _Man, this guy drew the short straw . . . well the 3 meatsuits that jumped into Hell probably drew shorter straws._

 _Now where was that hellhound? Jesus . . . it’s like a fucking tiger. Moves like one too._ It was still coming my way. It definitely knew where I was, so I thought why not try shooting it to see what happens. Big mistake. It didn’t stop it. No, I definitely pissed it off, because it decided to charge at me instead of slink it’s way towards me the way it had been. 

_Uhhh . . . I know the demon knife works on them. Does an angel blade? Don’t have time to think about it. Fucking move it!_ When it got to within about 5 feet of me, I got up off my stomach, jumped to the side to get out of its way, and got a good jab in on its side with my blade as it passed. It stopped about 6 feet away and turned around to charge at me again. _Am I a fucking hellhound matador now? What the hell am I supposed to do with it? Keep doing this until one of us is down? Find it a chew toy? What?_ I dove out of the way and stabbed into its side again, hoping that hit was a bit more direct, but had to take extra care in holding onto my blade, so I didn’t lose it. _Fuck it’s pure invisible muscle._

We did one more turn of it charging at me, and that time my glasses fell off when I leapt out of the way. Never lose your hellhound glasses when bullfighting with a hellhound. It’s not a good idea. By the time I found the glasses and put them back on, the hellhound was charging at me again. That’s when Gabriel popped up and raised his blade above his head before jamming it down through the back, effectively pinning it to the ground. By the time he pulled the blade back out, the hellhound was dead. 

I got to my feet and walked with him to the Hell Gate. “Well, at least I know the angel blade works . . . or yours does anyway . . . wait, how’d you make those bullets for Lucifer if you still have your blade?” 

“Might’ve used Rafa’s blade for that. Keep that between you and me though.” Gabriel taking his brother’s blade made me like him more. “Stop it you’ll make me blush. All right you have to throw something that’s a prized possession into it, say this in Latin, and it’ll seal right up.” Gabriel handed me a piece of parchment as we looked down into the dark abyss below. 

“Are there anymore demons trying to get out? How much time do we have?” _What should I throw in there?_

“There are more. They’re further down, but I’d hurry it up.” _Okay. What do I get rid of here? Prized possession?_ Something caught my eye, and I knew what it had to be. I hated to do it, especially when I was so far away from Dean. When Adam told me Dean got it for me, it helped remind me he wasn’t so far away when we’d been separated on the road for so long with no contact. It’d been with me when Crowley took me. It was my favorite thing even over my angel blade, which is why I had to toss it. 

Gabriel urged me to hurry up, so I took off my wristwatch that I’d gotten for Christmas the year before and tossed it in before reciting what was on the paper. When I was done, the ground began to shake, and I toppled over, which made Gabriel roll his eyes and shake his head, like ‘what am I going to do with you,’ before he helped me stand and kept me standing until the fissure in front of us completely closed. 

“Are we going to have to do that at every gate, because I don’t really have too many prized possessions?” I sighed and tried not to feel like I’d lost a part of my arm. 

Gabriel shook his head. “Nope. Easiest gate to get to, hardest one to close.” _Okay. I can deal with it as long as I don’t think too much about what I just lost._

“Will Crowley just open it up again tomorrow?” 

“Depends on the sacrifice and what it meant to you. A guy and his horse kept it closed this long, but then the guy and his horse didn’t say that incantation you did, so it’ll stay closed for a long time . . . at least as long as you’re around anyway.” That worked for me.

I did my exorcism and went to make sure the 6 people I’d shot were still alive. 2 of them were dead. They’d died a while ago. Gabriel helped me get the other 4 up, and we took them to the camp, so we could drop them off with Dr. Thomas before leaving for the next gate. I got to see Adam and apologized for the way I’d left, but I got the impression that he didn’t think I was the one who needed to apologize. 

He’d taken it hard that I’d called him out on the trust thing, so I said I was sorry about saying that to him too, because I’d been mad at the time, but now that I’d had time to think about it, I got that he was being loyal to Dean, and that was a good thing. I reminded Adam to keep an eye on the new people I’d brought in to make sure I hadn’t just brought murderers back to the camp. He rolled his eyes and said he knew what he was doing before adding that’s what why Jody had a day job. 

Gabriel decided to put me in a matador costume for taking too long when I gave Adam a hug, so I made him change me back into my other clothes when I stepped back from Adam. As soon as he did, we were off to our next gate. First gate down, 6 to go, and Dean hadn’t even been gone for a day. Hopefully, I could get the other 6 done before he got to Las Vegas, and he’d be able to go back to exorcising the demons.


	26. Las Vegas

They got to Vegas late in the afternoon the day before the next survivor convoys were supposed to ship out. It took them nearly a week, because they stayed with the snow in the North as long as they could, rather chance running into millions of Croats in the South. Even when they got to Nevada, the snow seemed to cover half the state the same way it did in Indiana and Illinois, which meant that so far as he could tell, it covered the entire northern part of the country in almost a straight line. This was definitely not a normal winter. Something else was behind it, but he’d have to deal with that later if it became a problem. Something that wasn’t a problem were Croats in that state, so either Sam had them corralled somewhere or he’d had his demons clear them out. 

“Heard anything from Gabriel on where they are on the Gates, Cas?” Dean was lying on his stomach and looking through his binoculars from their position out in the desert. No need for the night vision, cuz the city was still lit up along the strip. The whole city hadn’t been walled off, just most of Paradise from highways 562, 95, and 592 in the south, east, and north, and interstate 15 to the west. Everything outside those walls had been leveled. 

_There are craters where houses should be. Maybe they’re from airstrikes? Nothing’s been touched inside the walls . . . the walls went up before the airstrike . . . Why? . . . to keep Croats out . . . What about the Croats that were here before the wall went up? The news said Las Vegas had an infection problem 2 weeks after the outbreak . . . How did Sam move in here? … Maybe Sam and Sam’s demons came in as hunters that said they could help . . . demons can control Croats and Sam is immune to the virus . . . would’ve been easy for them to clear the city of Croats if they did it early. It would’ve earned them the city’s trust . . . maybe after the city was clear, Sam had the demons call all the Croats in the state towards Las Vegas to make it seem like they were about to be overrun . . . the wall looks shoddy. Maybe Sam convinced the humans in Paradise to build the wall fast before the army of Croats got here . . . kept the human’s attention on building the wall more than what was going on inside the walls . . . then maybe Sam had them call in air strikes to get rid of all the croats . . . By the time the air strikes happened, Sam had everyone in that city where he wanted them . . . they would’ve been imprisoned until Sam needed them as meat suits for new demon recruits, or they were turned into monsters or fed to monsters to form alliances for his army . . . that or something like that has to be how this city was taken . . . Even if Sam thought he was gonna be able to go back and reset all this, like it never happened . . . all those scared people that trusted Sam to protect them . . . how could Sam look them in the eye knowing what he was going to do to them? Somewhere deep down, I knew I couldn’t save him . . . I’ve known since I saw him kill Alistair . . . I lost Sam a long time ago . . . I lost him the second Azazel took him to Cold Oak . . . It’s when I sold my soul to bring him back . . . what’s dead should stay dead . . . Dad shouldn’t have done it for me, but he did . . . I knew what that was like . . . I brought the real Sam back, but me going to Hell . . . that’s what tipped Sam over the edge._

Luckily, Cas interrupted him from his thoughts. “Gabriel said they haven’t closed the 3rd gate yet. There’s been more difficulty getting to it than they anticipated.” They’d have to come up with some other way of taking care of the demons driving the trucks. Maybe hold onto them until the gates are closed? They didn’t know how many meat suits to expect though. 

Ty said the convoys went out once a week. None of the kids knew exactly how many trucks went out, but they did know there were at least 4 camps of humans dotted around the city, and the humans weren’t kept near the monsters. Anywhere between 3 and 6 trucks stopped at Ty and Jenna’s camp on the days kids were taken. The day they were sent out, 4 trucks stopped there. 

Jenna said after they were put in their truck, they drove for maybe 15 minutes and then stopped and waited. She thought all the trucks stopped at the main gate and waited until all the trucks in the convoy were there, so they could head out together. Demons were the prison guards, and nobody ever saw Sam except for a few demons he had carrying out his orders. The tablet and prophet had to be with him wherever he was in there. 

It was frustrating to know there were thousands of people just inside that wall. They couldn’t go in and get them until they got more intel on the place, and the intel they were getting tonight was limited, because they were keeping a low profile. If they didn’t and were caught, then the kids leaving tomorrow would be screwed. There were angel wards surrounding the city, so Cas couldn’t just go in there and have a look. There seemed to be some kind of unseen defense between where Dean was and the wall, because Sam didn’t have demons out on patrols outside the wall. 

He wondered what Sam was doing with the werewolves and skinwalkers. Once Sam’s demons started disappearing, Sam might start using the werewolves and other monsters more, and those were easy to kill . . . but then, Dean wondered how many of the werewolves were more human than monster with those collars on. Maybe they wouldn’t want to be in the patrols or raiding parties any more than that shifter he and Beth found . . . maybe they could use that if they got to the Father of all Werewolves and took him out, so his kids could lead a werewolf rebellion . . . but if all of those monsters got let off their leashes at the same time for any reason, then Las Vegas would turn into a blood bath, even if the monsters were kept in a separate part of the city from the humans and even with the demons trying to keep the peace. Demons weren’t exactly reliable as camp security. If the collars kept the werewolves in their human form, were there ways to make them monsters all the time? What about the other monsters in there? Did the skinwalkers have something similar to the werewolf collars or were they all dog all the time and something else tamed –

Dean’s thoughts were abruptly cut off as invisible razor-like talons shredded their way through the muscles at the front of his thigh. He tried to bite back a cry of pain that would’ve given away their position. _Fuuck! There’s only one thing that feels like that._ He gritted out through clenched teeth, “Cas, little help,” and Cas touched his forehead. The pain was gone. “Thought you said she’d be safe if she was with Gabriel.” The sweat on his forehead began to cool in the night air, and Dean placed his forehead on his arm to take a couple of deep breaths. _Never wanted to feel that again._

“She is, or you would both be dead. The first gate was mostly unused, but there would have been a heavy presence of demons at each of the other gates, and it seems that more are being added to those numbers because Crowley knows that the gates are being closed . . . Gabriel says that the third gate is now closed. He says he knows why she was healed, so he’ll explain it to her, but you should’ve told her about it sooner, because he knows you knew about it before she left . . . He says he doesn’t want you to give her a hard time about what happened with the hellhound, so you won’t if you know what’s good for you . . . because she did a good job and got her first hellhound kill.” Gabriel had decided to take his responsibility for her seriously all of a sudden and had been telling Dean through Cas what he should and should not be doing when it came to Beth . . . And he wasn’t planning on giving her a hard time. He was going to give Gabriel a hard time for letting it happen. 

Dean watched the guards on top of the wall do their change shift. “Ask him when they’ll get the other gates closed.” Once the new guards were in the towers, they continued the same pattern the ones before them had. 2 out of a 4-demon team stationed at each tower were sent on patrols to walk in opposite directions along the top of the wall every 15 minutes, like clockwork, while the other 2 stayed in the guard tower. It was too synchronized . . . getting over the walls should be easy. 

In a lot of ways Sam’s wall was similar to their own wall and towers except this one was bigger and had more towers and the wall back at the camp had that trench. That trench would act like a trap for anything trying to scale over the wall, and would buy them time to rain down a defense from above on whatever tried to get in . . . as long as they kept the fucking snow cleared out of it . . . and their wall at the camp was made of solid blocks and was well constructed, but that’s because they were taking the time to get it done right. 

This wall might be done, but it had a lot of weak spots and was just thrown together without attention to detail. Nothin’ could tunnel under their wall at home either, but Dean didn’t think that’d be a problem here . . . he could use the flood tunnels under the city to get inside those walls too. There were a couple hundred miles of tunnels they’d need to find their way through to get where they wanted though . . . he’d have to look into it. See if there were city plans out there somewhere not in the actual city of Las Vegas. There had to be. 

“Gabriel says that it will take time to close the other gates, because she is human and needs sleep. He said you should know that and to stop bothering him. He’ll let me know when they’re finished with the next gate.” Cas said all that, and then burst out into a quick chuckle. Dean glanced at him, because Cas never laughed like that. “You would not understand it, because it loses something in translation from Enochian to English . . . I will say that he thinks it would be best if you focus on what you’re doing here.” 

Gabriel was trying Dean’s patience, and he didn’t even have to see him. Dean’s jaw clenched while he continued to wach the city through his binoculars, but he decided to drop it for now. “Might be best if we let the other teams know, so they can use the devil’s trap bullets on the demons and keep ‘em with them until the last gate is closed. Can’t exorcise them yet . . . tell everyone not to think about the camp or what our plans for the trading posts are when they’re around them. Tell ‘em not talk about those things either. Then we should be able to hold onto them until Beth and Gabriel are done. The demons should keep the hosts alive until then . . . even if doesn’t work out . . . at least we tried.”

The next morning at 0830, Cas said there was something going on a couple of miles out, so Dean had him go check it out. When Cas came back the news wasn’t the greatest. “There are monsters congregating out there. I suspect they are waiting in anticipation of the prisoner convoys, but they still seem hesitant to approach the city.” 

_They must’ve learned their lesson about getting too close. There’s something outside those walls that adds to the defense of the city, so they wait until the trucks get far enough away that they stand a chance of picking one or two off . . . They must be good at it or else there would be more than 5 kids per truck._ If the monsters took one or two trucks, 5 or 10 kids would be lost instead of 20 or 30. Maybe Sam was playing it safe with the numbers and wanted most of the trucks to make it to the rest of the country, but some of those trucks were never supposed to make it past the monsters around Vegas. They were sacrifices to get the other trucks out, and they were meant to keep the monsters close to home the happiest and local. 

Dean rolled onto his back to look behind him in the direction they were. “How many are out there?”

Cas looked to the east and said, “There are 4 main packs on and around 4 roads leading away from the city to the north, south, east, and west . . . There are approximately 100 in each of those packs, but there are more monsters spread out in between the roads, so the city has been completely encircled by them.” _Why would the monsters spread out between the roads?_ “The monsters that are not in the 4 main packs are weak, so they’ve been pushed out of the packs. There are as many of the weak ones combined as there are in one of the packs.” 100 . . . so, 400 strong, healthy monsters were around the city and more were waiting for scraps on the sidelines . . . roughly 500 monsters. Those weren’t good odds for 8 people trapped in here by them, even if those people were hunters. These monsters were the first line of Sam’s defense around the city whether they knew it or not.

Dean finally caught sight of something in the distance. “They all one type of monster or are different kinds working together out there?” They were too far away to see what they were. 

“They are grouping each kind to their own, but they are side by side in the packs. They may be together for now, but I suspect fighting over the trucks on a weekly basis is what determines what monsters are allowed into the packs and which ones are pushed out the next week.” 

_Sam’s letting them pick one another off, so only the leanest and meanest are left around the city. And he can do that, because he sacrifices a couple of trucks to make them fight it out. He’s still feeding them, so they’ll always be his alliance without all the work._

“Cas, we’re still radio silent, so go tell the other teams what’s goin’ on with the monster situation. They need to be prepared in case any catch their scent and take a closer look. But tell ‘em to keep watching the city and find out what happens around the time those trucks get ready to leave. I want ‘em to get a good look inside the gates when they open and find weaknesses we can exploit next time, but I don’t want them getting too close. There’s something between the wall and us that we can’t see yet, but it has those monsters scared. When you get back, you and me are gonna see what we can do about thinning out some of those monsters.” 

When Cas came back, Dean told him his plan. “Cas, stay invisible and get us in between the roads going to the north and east. I’ve still got blood on my jeans from that Hellhound attack last night . . . let’s see if that and me lookin’ like I’m out there on my own makes its way to the packs on the main roads and draws them towards me. Keep switchin’ it up between the northeast and the same position to the southwest of the city. We need to keep the monsters guessing on where I’ll be next, but they need to think I’ll be in roughly the same area each time to entice ‘em to stay there. After we draw enough of the monsters onto us that the trucks can make it through, take our teams out past the wall of monsters. They can keep out of sight until the convoys pass and follow ‘em.” 

25 minutes . . . that’s how long Dean been at this, and he had no idea which side of the city he was on now. He just kept swingin’ his machete and takin’ the heads off of whatever monster was in front of him. He didn’t want to alert Vegas that there were humans out here with the sounds of gunfire, and it may not kill ‘em all, but cuttin’ heads off of just about anything would slow ‘em down for awhile. 

He’d take the heads of 3 or 4 and then Cas would take him somewhere else. Every time Dean landed on either side of the city, more monsters were grouping near the last place he’d been, and he’d call ‘em over to him, so he could let them know he was still around to keep them from heading back to the roads. He’d cleared out about 35-40, without Cas needing to jump in on the fighting, because he and Cas just kept on the move the whole time. 

Dean beheaded a ghoul in front of him and kicked another one to the side of him away, before turning with lightning fast reflexes in time take the head off a vamp that came at him from the back before Cas got him outta there this time. When they landed this time, Cas made himself visible and told Dean the trucks were leaving the city. 

“Yeah, all right. I’ll be fine here until you get back.” Cas smote about 10 monsters nearby to buy Dean time to get ready, and then Cas was gone. It started off all right. Dean took the head off of a couple monsters . . . He didn’t even know what they were, but it looked like they were dead for now. Then he cut the arm off of a djinn before it could touch him and turned to do the same to another one before ducking down out of the reach of another and found an opening that allowed him to hack the lower leg off of one. 

_Couldn’t have been the side with vamps and ghouls . . . just had to be the one with the djinn._ Course he’d think that just as one grabbed ahold of him. He may have cut its hand off, but he wasn’t fast enough to stop the acid trip effect from starting to take hold, and then the feeling was gone. _What the fuck? That shouldn’t . . . Is Beth havin’ that trip for me? Tell me she’s not fighting her way to a fucking gate right now._

3 vetala bitches that’d been waiting just behind the djinn made it past and decided to sample a bit of him before he’d had time to shake that thought off. He went to grab his silver knife, but he was too sluggish from the vetala venom . . . until he wasn’t. He killed one of them before the other two bit him to try and dose him again, but it didn’t have an effect this time. _Fuck is she getting this too? I’m gonna get her killed._

He killed the vetalas, but there were another 100 monsters in line after them, and there was only so much he could do before he was swarmed and pulled down . . . _Awesome. Now they’re fighting over me._ Not enough of them were, because he got bit again a couple of times . . . he kept trying to take the legs of anything around him, but he wasn’t gonna make it. His last sight would be of monsters ripping him apart just like he always figured it would be . . . _ah, fuck . . . Not ready for the white light yet. Turn it off._


	27. Bad Trip

My eyes snapped open, as I sat up quickly and called for Gabriel. “Gabriel, you need to go to Las Vegas and help Dean . . . sea of monsters . . . this sounds ridiculous, but I think he’s near where Winchester meets Paradise. He’s not got much time. He needs your help.” 

He didn’t question me or make any quips. He left me with his half-empty bag of marshmallows as soon as I said it. _What the fuck was that? That was . . . definitely new and fucked up. It felt real. I felt like was actually there . . ._ And with those thoughts in mind, I just sort of shut down and passed out in the tent. 

_Did I faint? A hunter fainting for anything other than blood loss is . . . so not cool. Wait. Why am I aware that I fainted?_ I opened my eyes and found myself in a dank room that was almost completely dark. The floor was solid. _Where’d the tent I was staying in go?_

_For fucks sake! Don’t tell me the world I’ve been in for the last 2 1/2 years wasn’t real either!_ This place was a lot worse than the cowboy motel. I stood up and let my eyes adjust to the dark. It was brighter than you’d think once you got used to it not being bright. 

_Oh gross. What the hell is that, and why does it feel all squiggy?_ I pulled my fingers back from the wall and went over to the crack at the bottom of the door, so I could use the light seeping through to look at what was now sticking to my hands. _Looks like congealed blood. Not a great way to wake up really._

_Where’d Gabriel go? Is this his way of punishing me if I was exaggerating because of a nightmare? Doesn’t seem like him. He just plays practical jokes that he thinks are funny. He wouldn’t do this. I know he wouldn’t. I need to get out of here, so I can figure out what’s going on . . . ugh, back to the feeling my way along the walls until I can figure out how to get out of here._

I tried to ignore the globs of blood and what my imagination made me think might be flesh as I felt my way around the room. Eventually, I found a brick that seemed looser than the rest. I worked at dislodging it until I got it out and found a piece of paper hidden behind it. Again I took it to the bottom of the door to see if I could read it. They looked like plans of some kind, like a map or something . . . blueprints. It had words I couldn’t decipher, but the handwriting looked like mine, and then all of a sudden I knew what it said. _Oh fuck! I’m in Heaven’s prison. I quickly looked around my cell and recognized every inch of it. Please tell me this isn’t real. I had to have gotten out of here, right?_

I examined the door. The gap was about a quarter of an inch between the door and the frame along the sides. _Stupid angels._ Of course I was going to get out of here with that door the way that it was. And when they got more inventive and tried to shut that down, I had a few other tricks up my sleeve, but I wanted to hold off on using them for now. 

I took threads dangling from my ridiculous clothes that resembled more of a burlap bag than actual clothing and unraveled what I was wearing. I braided the threads together to strengthen them and made a mini-rope roughly a foot long. When I was done with that, I went back to the brick I’d pulled out of the wall and broke a piece off. 

After tying the piece of brick to the end of my string, I got it through the crack around the side of the door, and swung it back and forth like a pendulum on a clock until it got stuck between the bar and the door on the outside of my cell. _Okay, pull gently . . . Nah, try again. The fulcrum is further out._

I kept at it for what felt like ages until I finally got the bar to life as I pulled the string. When the bar was high enough, I pushed, and the door opened out into a white hall . . . and that’s when I literally bumped into Gabriel.

“Seriously? Making me go back there was a bit of an overreaction even by your standards. Why the hell did you leave me in there for so long?” He offered me his hand, and I found myself standing back in our tent that actually looked like the Playboy mansion but without the Playboy bunnies. 

“I wasn’t the one who put you there . . . If anything you should blame Castiel for how long you were in there. He’s the one I had to teach how to drive.” Gabriel decided to hand me a doughnut to help me calm down. I took it and noticed I was once again wearing the clothes I’d been in before I’d passed out. I wasn’t exactly sure what just happened after the mental whiplash. 

“You decided to do the big brother routine and gave Cas driving lessons?” 

If Cas was driving, it was because Dean was down, which confirmed that what I saw happen to him in my dream was real. “Yeah, don’t worry about Dean. You must’ve missed the part where a djinn got to him before the sea of monsters . . . He’ll be out for a while, but all I had to do was block your connection to him, and presto chango, you’re awake. Cas is gonna look after him until he’s up and around.” Now that I was done with my doughnut, Gabriel decided to hand me a chocolate muffin. He was definitely spoiling me on our mission, and I liked it. 

_So, an archangel can block the connection?_

“Yeah, course I can. Why do you think Dean didn’t have Castiel bring him to you the night we left? He couldn’t find you. Now that he’s in Vegas, I thought he’d be too busy taking in the sights, so I didn’t think I needed to hide you from him anymore. Good thing I let you reconnect. He needed me to save his hide back there . . . You know . . . seeing something bad go down 10-15 seconds before it happens is all right as long as an angel’s nearby. I don’t know what you’ll do with it when Cas or I aren’t around so . . . you should work on that.“ I quite liked being able to just think my questions to him, while I munched away on breakfast. 

I hadn’t really let myself think about Dean’s connection to me much in the last week, because I was using this mission as a way to test myself. I had to make sure that I wouldn’t do what I’d always told Dean I didn’t want him to do if I was connected to him this way. I couldn’t afford to hesitate in the middle of a fight. If I did, I had no business fighting anything anymore. So far, it hadn’t really had much of an impact on the way I hunted, well except for the bonuses we found out about last night. 

The gate in the Paris catacombs was a bit of a bitch, but only because there were lots of hiding places for the demons and hellhounds, and because there wasn’t enough room to maneuver properly in the tight tunnels. I kept tripping over bones mid-fight. I got my first Hellhound kill and in the process got a bit mangled, but I didn’t know that at the time, because it didn’t hurt. I thought I was fine. 

I found out that if Dean got healed from whatever happened to me, I reaped the rewards of that, but I didn’t fine that out until after the hellhound was down, Gabriel killed the last demon standing, and I closed the gate. That’s when I noticed my jeans were torn and bloody. They wouldn’t have been if I hadn’t been injured. I just hadn’t had to feel it, and Cas healed Dean, so that healed me too. I thought it must’ve been happening for a while, because it explained my arm in Ann Arbor not being bad even though there’d been blood on the glass and my shirt. It also explained both of us having fucked up shoulders after those shifters at Penn State . . . Gabriel told me if that’s what Dean took on for me in our deal, then I owed Dean big time. He wasn’t wrong there.

Maybe I could work on this new danger alert thing and make it stronger? It didn’t give as much warning as Chuck could with his prophecies, so it was kind of pointless, except it worked this one time when we needed it. Maybe it only worked, because I was asleep and it came across as a dream? Would it happen with him too, like our tracking systems, or was it specific to me, like the djinn trip by proxy? 

“Did you get a chance to go all nuclear on them?” I’d been asking Gabriel if I was going to see it from him since I told him about what I saw Michael do in Stull Cemetery. 

“And outshine the bright lights of Vegas? No. I played it low key, just some light smiting . . . but I do hate what Sam’s done with the place. He’s ruined the fun vibe there, so I wouldn’t rule it out yet.” I finished off my muffin and was tempted to turn down the chocolate chip pancakes he offered me, but how could I turn those down? I grabbed a couple, so I could take with me on the go.

“Yeah, since I’ve known Sam, he hasn’t exactly shown that he knows how to have a good time.” 

Gabriel shook his head and said in a rare moment of seriousness. “Don’t kid yourself, Beth. He’s having a good time. It’s just not one you would approve of . . . you ready to hit this 4th gate?” But Sam was trying to do something he thought was good in a very wrong way. If he’d started to enjoy all of this – “Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely, right?” Yeah, I guess that was a saying for a reason. _We should get going on the next gate._

Working with Gabriel expedited things on closing the gates. He was more of a badass than a trickster when it came to fighting, and we could be in a different part of the world in seconds. We still missed our deadline of getting all the gates closed before Dean got to Vegas, but then things were getting harder at each gate. 

The Paris gate had taken 2 full days of fighting with a couple of 15 minute breaks, because any break longer than that just allowed time for reinforcements to get there. Now that I was finished with breakfast, Gabriel was ready to go, so I stood up to brush the crumbs off of me. With a snap of his fingers, all that was left were my bags lying on the ground and chocolate chip pancakes in my hand. Camping with Gabriel was awesome. And in the blink of an eye were were in Fengdu, China. 

“Do your meat suit saving thing if you still think it’s worthwhile. Try not to drop your glasses this time. You’re getting better with the disembodied demons, but unless you have to defend yourself, leave the hellhounds for me. We’ll clear a path to the Nothing to Be Done Bridge . . . used to be able to go around that bridge . . . still looks like you can, but the Gate to Hell is open now, so crossing that bridge is the only way to get to the Ghost Torturing Pass that doesn’t end up with you walking into an invisible wall. I don’t have a soul, so I can’t cross it. If any evil souls try to cross that bridge from this side, they’ll fall in the pools of water and get sent straight to Hell . . . My doubles will keep the demons from crossing it and letting Hell know you’re here. After you cross the bridge, go through the Ghost Torturing Pass, and make sure you smash all 18 sculptures. If the King of Hell is there when you get to the end, do whatever you have to do to get away from him and back over that bridge to me, and we’ll find another way of closing this gate. If he’s not there, go on through to the gates of the Tianzi Palace, say your Hell Gate closing speech, and we’re done. Don’t let your guard down on the way back, because as soon as that gate closes, the invisible walls go down, and the demons will be able to go around the bridge and me.” 

_Yeah, all of what you just said is easier said than done._

Crowley was definitely upping his game, because there were about 20 possessed demons that I could see, and they were easy. The humans would probably all be dead, because Crowley had decided to become spiteful and was ordering all his demons to kill the meat suits they were possessing, but that didn’t mean I still wasn’t going to try the devil’s trap bullets first. On top of the possessed people, there were probably close to 100 of the translucent demons and maybe half that number in hellhounds roaming around the place. That was to get to the bridge, and I had no idea what was on the other side of it . . . I’d worry about that once I got to it.


	28. Tracking the Convoys

Dean felt himself jostled awake by a hard bump. _Talk about a bad trip._ He looked around and saw Cas . . . _Why the hell is Cas driving?_ Maybe the nightmare still wasn’t over. “Why are you drivin’? And why do I feel like I’m moving underwater?” Dean tried to sit up from the door he’d been slumped against and from the looks of drooling on. 

“You were poisoned by the venom of vetalas and a djinn, remember?” _Right._

“I thought Beth -“ He thought she took that for him. It’d scared the hell out of him, because he knew she was supposed to be heading to another gate. 

“Gabriel temporarily severed your connection to her, so they could go to the fourth gate. He gave you to me to heal. I couldn’t heal the toxins . . . They had to wear off on their own, but I did heal the bites. I believe the vetala venom is taking longer to get out of your system, and that is why moving is a struggle for you.” Cas sure was concentrating on the road. 

“Where’s everyone else? What about the convoys.” Dean’s mind was clearer, but his body still wouldn’t work any better than in slow motion. _How long is this gonna take?_

“Gabriel helped me get the other teams out, so they are following their designated trucks,” Cas answered while trying to figure out how to get the windshield wipers to go faster as the snowfall got thicker. 

“Any trading posts yet?” _I should be good to go for driving . . . maybe not a trading post._

“I have already cleared one trading post for changelings that was near the center of Utah and sent the first 8 children I found to the buses. There are 2 demons in the back of the snow plough that have been trapped the way you said we should until the gates are shut.” 

He’d missed a lot if he’d slept through Cas taking out a trading post. 8 kids, so Cas found 3 that the changelings already had on top of the 5 from the delivery truck . . . and did Cas use the devil’s trap bullets? Is that what Cas meant? Dean wondered if Cas actually used a gun or did something angely to trap them. “You burn it down?” 

Cas nodded. “Yes, it’s what you wanted, and I hunted down all the changelings too. It took some time. There were a lot of them . . . maybe 40.” _40 Changelings? Were there really that many of them out there before the Croat virus? Fuck. That is why there will always be something out there to hunt._

Dean noticed for the first time that they were in the middle of a blizzard that would completely cover their tracks in a few hours if it kept up this way. That was good and bad. It’d hide them from anything that might follow them from Sam’s camp if they’d been spotted, but it’d also cover the tracks of the trucks they were following if they got too far behind. They could use Gabriel’s help on this once he was done helping Beth with the gates . . . if Gabriel felt like it. 

Dean didn’t know how long the archangel was gonna stick around once he was done with that. Gabriel had been pretty hands-off so far. “Any word on the 4th gate?” Cas used the plow to push a car out of the way, and kinda looked like he was having fun doing it before answered. 

“He told me not to contact him again after they got there. He said it wasn’t going to be easy, and he didn’t need the distraction of me in his ear on top of trying to block you from her.” Cas swerved to miss another car in the ditch. Yeah, Cas was lovin’ this . . .That’s when they heard Bobby come over the radio saying they could use Cas’s help. 

Dean reached for the radio before Cas could get to it. Maybe his reflexes were starting to come back. “Yeah, alright Bobby. Tell us where you are, and he’ll be there as soon as we pull over. Anything from the other teams yet?” 

“Good to hear you’re up and around, Dean . . . We just finished clearin’ out an arachne infestation in a trading post set up at Parks in the Pines General Store in Parks, Arizona. Need him to take the survivors from the trucks to the buses while we torch the place . . . I’m gettin’ to it. Would ya give me a minute Rufus? . . . Rufus wants to know if Cas can track down the prisoner trucks that kept goin’ while we were busy here. We don’t have the tracks in the snow to follow ‘em the way you do . . . Last I heard Ivan and Yuri were headin’ into Fort Irwin, California, but I haven’t heard back from ‘em yet. Don’t know about Stephen and Pamela. I think Yuri said they were headin’ towards Fresno, but he didn’t know if they’d be stoppin’ there or not . . . oh, and I thought you should know we’re startin’ to pick up more Croats the further we get from Vegas. We’ll let you know if they get too hot to handle . . . over.” 

“Cas says he can help track down the trucks as long you stay put, so he can find you again once he’s found ‘em. You see too many Croats . . . I don’t want you goin’ any further. We’ll stop the trucks you’re following and find a different way to get the trading posts. Keep me updated.” 

Cas pulled over as soon as Dean was done talking to Bobby. “Dean, if you come across any more trading posts. Wait for me to get back, and I’ll go with you. Do not try to take one on your own before that venom has worn off.” Cas looked up at Dean after he got out of the truck and Dean had slid over into the driver’s seat. If Cas was waiting for him to agree to that, he’d be waiting a while.

“Yeah, we’ll see what happens Cas. If I see somethin’ I need to stop. I won’t wait. Just concentrate on finding that convoy Bobby’s supposed to be following before one of the trucks heads off from the rest and we lose it for good . . . and see if you think they can handle the Croats in the area those trucks are headed. Let me know when you’re done, and I’ll let you know where I am.” Cas didn’t look all that happy with the answer he got, but he nodded anyway before he took off. 

It was another half hour before Dean got a call from Pamela saying they ended up in a trading post with an even mix of monster types in a cabin in the middle of Yosemite. They’d lost their convoy the way Bobby and Rufus had and would need Cas to find it again. The monsters were gone, and the place had been burnt down. They’d trapped the demons, but it didn’t look like one of the meat suits would make it. They didn’t find any kids with the monsters they killed, and 2 of the kids from the truck died before they could get to the monsters that took ‘em. 

First casualties . . . There’d be more if everyone kept losing the trucks. This is why Beth had said they’d need Cas. They needed to find a better way of doing this. 

Dean didn’t have time to think about it, because Cas was radioing in to tell him he’d taken the kids Bobby and Rufus saved to the buses and had tracked down the convoy they were supposed to follow. Cas didn’t think any trucks had split off from it yet or that there were too many Croats between where Bobby and Rufus were and where the convoy was and that they should be able to catch up with the convoy, because it wasn’t moving very fast. 

“Keep track of the convoy until you’re sure Bobby and Rufus are close enough to catch any that turn off from it, Cas. Then I need you to go to Yosemite in California and help Stephen and Pamela find their convoy and send the kids they saved to the buses.” 

It was a hard call to make, because what if they lost one of the trucks in the California convoy in that time? His thinking was that it’d taken them this long to get to the first trading posts, so they must be pretty spread out, and maybe that bought them some time, but Bobby and Rufus’d had to deal with some kind of monster Dean had never seen or heard of until now, and he imagined it’d taken them a while to figure out how kill them, so they were probably further behind than Pamela and Stephen.

Another hour later Pamela called and said Ivan let her know they’d cleared out a group of Rawheads that were lining up out the door waiting for the kids to arrive. It took he and Yuri a while to figure out what they were, but they eventually did when nothing else worked but the stun guns. They lost about 3 of the kids by that time, but they did trap the 2 demon drivers. They hadn’t wanted to chance the demons smoking out to go back to Las Vegas and made a judgement call on goin’ after them first. The 2 meatsuits should both survive exorcism, because Ivan and Yuri hadn’t used kill shots. They’d lost their convoy too and still needed to burn down the trading post, but Cas had already gone to them to find the convoy and had wanted Pamela to let Dean know that’s why he wasn’t back yet. 

They needed more trucks and people. Each 2-person team could become a 4-person team and there’d have to be 2 trucks per team. 1 truck could turn off and take care of an outpost, and 1 truck could keep following the convoy and let the truck that was behind them know where they were when they were done with a trading post. They could leapfrog taking out the trading posts and following the convoy. 

The problem was they didn’t have enough hunters around or people with military training or even people who were good with firearms who could be split up between what was needed on the road and what was needed to protect the camp. His thoughts were interrupted when he came to a Y in the road. A truck must’ve turned off from the rest of them, but which one was the one heading to a trading post and needed more immediate intervention and which one was the convoy? They’d been heading east all day, so his gut told him to take the road North.

He hadn’t been going North for more than about 20 minutes when his instinct was confirmed after he took a hard right onto another road and nearly ran into the damn delivery truck on its way back out from wherever it had been. _Sonofabitch! So much for the element of surprise._

He had to act before the demons either threw the truck in reverse or evacuated the meat suits, if they weren’t strong enough to just teleport to Vegas, so he lept out of the truck and fired two shots with the devil’s trap bullets through the windshield not caring where he hit them as long as they were trapped. Then he hopped up on the side of the truck pulled open the passenger side door to assess the situation . . . _Damnit . . . two head shots._ Eh, if neither human would survive, there was no need to bring the demons along, so he pulled out his Kurdish knife and plunged it into both of their hearts one after the other. Now, all he had to do was get their truck out of the way, go see where they’d dropped off their delivery, and take it from there.


	29. Battle at the Fourth Gate

_Fucking Hell!_. . . I got slammed into another fucking tree by another fucking disembodied demon before Gabriel came up behind it and stabbed it in the back to make it drop me. I landed hard and rolled quickly when I heard the growl above me. _Damn hellhounds._ I stabbed her in the heart before she could sink her teeth into me, and as a reward for my effort, I got a river of disgusting black goo all over me that added to the buckets of the stuff I was already wearing. 

I would’ve worried about the hellhound glasses being broken or falling off, except Gabriel decided when we made our approach to this gate that the glasses needed to be glued onto my face. Not gonna lie. Kinda glad he did it, because the entire hillside had been a continuous battle like this. There were at least 6x the number of demons and hellhounds I’d seen when we got here, just hidden away by the trees. 

I saw a clearer path to the bridge than I’d had up to that point, so I scrambled to my feet and ran towards it before slicing through a demon that came at me from the side. That bridge with both of Gabriel’s doubles standing guard outside of it to keep the demons from heading back across it and alerting the whole of Hell that I was here was my sole focus. Not sure what I was gonna do when I crossed it without Gabriel, but I’d figure it out when I got there. 

I think Gabriel was finally getting tired of this never ending parade of demon assholes too, because he told me to shut my eyes just as I got picked up and slammed into the ground by another demon. I don’t know what he did after I closed my eyes, but it was probably some pretty heavy duty smiting, because when I opened my eyes all the demons around me had been disintegrated even though there were reinforcements coming to take their place from every angle out of the countryside, so I had to move fast. Crowley really wasn’t fucking around anymore. 

Why didn’t Gabriel drop me off at the bridge or smite them all in a massive blast when we realized we were dealing with a lot more that the original horde of demons we’d seen? Because Gabriel wanted me to improve my quick thinking when it came to being in a battle. He thought I needed more on the job training with the impending war between Heaven, Hell, and Sam land. I was really hoping we could take the armies out before it came to that, but if he thought I needed the practice, then I’d do it, so there I was fighting my way to the bridge with my archangel training wheels on. 

I was nearly there when I had to duck down as I heard a hellhound to my right fly towards me. Take your chances when you have ‘em was something I was learning fast, so I raised my blade above my head as it soared over me and let more black disgusting gooeyness rain down on top of me before I had to fling myself backwards out of the way as the carcass fell. _I bet I look like the Blob._ I got to my feet again and leapt over the hellhound’s dead body before sprinting across the bridge. As soon as I got to the bridge, Gabriel joined his doubles in standing guard in front of it. 

When my feet hit the other side of the bridge, I stopped, allowed myself a relieved breath, and tried to figure out how the hell I was going to break 18 sculptures without Crowley catching on that I was there. Breaking those creepy sculptures wasn’t hard. I just couldn’t let the line of sight from one scupture see me break the sculptures across from it. They were sort of like security cams. 

_Someone watching will notice these going dark one-by-one even if they don’t see me . . . nothing that can be done about that. It’s better than them knowing for sure that you’re the one breaking them . . . I’m right outside the gates of Hell, and Gabriel can’t help if you get taken now . . . Just get it done and over with._

I kept the hood from my sweatshirt pulled up, like a proper hooligan, and either shoved the sculptures over and stomped on their heads or hit them in the creepy face with the hilt of my angel blade. It was fun. It was so fun that it was almost worth everything I had to do to get to them. 

Throughout all of my vandalism, I hadn’t had any demons bother me, and as soon as I got to the gate, I found out why. _Thank fuck for these glasses._ I would’ve walked right into what the ancient Greeks called Cerebus if it weren’t for them. It was as invisible as hellhounds are to the naked eye, but easier to see with the glasses on than the hellhounds were. It had 3 heads that resembled hellhound heads except they were about 3 times the size of a lion’s head. While each head had slightly different facial features, all 3 had one thing in common, and that was a boatload of sharp teeth. 

Its height from paw to shoulder was at least 3 times my height. I remembered that it was supposed to have a snakes tail, according to the mythology, but that was wrong. No, it had 4 normal legs with 4 normal paws for something that size along with the razor sharp claws you’d expect, and it was just standing there blocking me from being able to get close enough to say the closing incantation. As soon as I saw it and got a good look, I took off running back to the bridge and didn’t stop until I got to Gabriel.

“Back so soon? It doesn’t feel like we’re another Hell Gate down.” A second later, Gabriel raised his archangel blade and sliced through another demon. 

“Uh, yeah . . . there’s a Cerebus-type character at the gate. Not exactly sure what to do with it.” I got distracted watching him kick a hellhound and send it limping away. 

“What do you think you should do, Beth? I’m not always going to be around to hold your hand.” _Ass._ “I heard that. Come on! Quick decision.” Then he had to deal with another threat that got too close. 

“Yeah, alright. You won’t always be around, but you are now. I say either we switch blades for a little while, or I free it from the chains it was in and lure it over to the bridge, so you can zap it.” 

He glanced at me briefly and said, “Nah, you’re blade will do just fine, so do with it what you would’ve done with mine.” _Oh all right. Fine._ I took a deep breath and stalked back over the bridge to face the Guard Dog of Hell, and when I saw it again, quickly veered off to the side and away from it to think about my options again.

_It hasn’t actually made a move on me. The legend says it guards Hell so the living can’t enter and the dead can’t leave. That means it isn’t bad or good, just doing a job. A useful job, because it’s keeping any demons from getting out of that gate right now. Crowley could be controlling it, but why is it chained? Maybe that’s the only way he can control it. If I kill Cerebus, I might be doing more harm than good. Hell needs someone neutral and not evil to help keep it in check, and I bet it’s pissed at what’s going on right now._

I approached it from the side with caution, and stayed far enough away from it that it wouldn’t think I was trying to get into Hell. “Hi, my name is Beth. You’re Cerebus. I’ve heard some about you, but probably not enough . . . that or I didn’t pay enough attention in high school. I think you eat living people like me, so I’m sure I look delicious. I just haven’t gotten close enough for you to turn me into a snack, right?” _I wonder if it even understands English or if it’s like a dog that only understands a few commands. Sit, stay, chew on people?_

The closest head looked at me, but the other two kept their gaze forward or to the right. “Ummm . . . I think you also get your strength from when you eat the souls trying to leave Hell, so the demons we’ve been fighting . . . you didn’t let them out. You were held up somehow so they could escape and then they put you back to stand guard . . . if I didn’t know that those demons being out now wasn’t up to you, then it would kinda make you look bad, but –“ I was cut off by a growl. 

_Okay. So, it understands what I’m saying. I guess if you guard Hell, you have to be able to understand an excuse in any language on why a demon should be let out._ I put my hands up and said, “I’m not saying you look bad. I know you wouldn’t have let them out unless something prevented you from stopping them. I’d say it’s probably infuriating to you to know those demons are out there right now and that it looks like its your fault that happened . . . I know you probably don’t really care about the Hellhounds being out of Hell, since they’re not really souls. They’re probably related to you . . . uh, right . . . so me standing here looking the way I do probably isn’t a great first impression.” I then looked down at all the hellhound blood covering me. My bad. 

The snarl exposing the teeth on the head listening to me let me know I was probably right on the hellhound thing being a touchy subject, so I changed the topic. “Anyway . . . I think we both want the same thing here. I want to keep what’s in Hell in Hell. You want to keep what’s in Hell in Hell. I was thinking I’d let you outta those chains, so you could run back into Hell. I’ll close the gates behind you, and the angel and I will kill the rest of those demons that are out there right now to make sure you keep up your reputation as a badass. If you call off the hellhounds and take them with you, we’ll let them go without any further incident.” 

Cerebus snorted, like a horse and sat like a dog, so maybe it was being stubborn in negotiating with me, because I’d been killing its relatives but not completely against the idea if I could make the deal better for it? I assume that’s what it was telling me. I didn’t know how to read monster dog body language unless it was growling and gnashing its teeth at me. 

I sidestepped to talk to all three heads at once. “There are 3 more gates that are open besides this one, and I think we both know that there are more and more demons spilling out of them by the second. Think of all the power from the demon souls you could suck up with each one you devour . . . it’d make you even bigger and badder than you already are. It’s the best opportunity you’ve had to do that in a long time . . . possibly ever with the numbers of demons we’re talking about here. Nobody in Hell would expect you to let me get close enough to free you from those chains, so you would be able to go straight to one of the open gates and start ripping those demons to shreds without anyone in Hell being able to stop you. They wouldn’t know what hit ‘em . . . you’ll scare the hell out of them . . . probably literally. Then you’re doing your job, you get a bit of demon breakfast, and you look good doing it.” 

Its eyes were red, but displayed quite human qualities as it worked through what I was suggesting. After a couple of minutes, Cerebus laid down and gave another snort, but looked past me to where the bridge was. I started running back to Gabriel and said over my shoulder, “Okay. I’ll go tell him to stand aside for the hellhounds. Just tell them not to rip me to shreds, or I won’t be able to get you out of those chains.” 

Gabriel agreed to the terms of my deal with Cerebus, and while Gabriel continued to kill the demons, he let the hellhounds slink back across the bridge one-by-one. They didn’t fall in the water, because they weren’t souls. It made me suspect that perhaps Gabriel could have gone across and hadn’t as part of a training lesson. The hellhound parade was a bizarre sight, and looking at their ranks, as they filed past, we’d killed a lot of them. There were only 30 left. 

When the last one crossed the bridge, I followed it from a good distance. Cerebus was standing by the time we got back to him, and the hellhounds went back to Hell through his legs. I didn’t think it would be wise to address the lack of them returning. I didn’t want to sour our relations even worse. 

I put my blade on the ground after the last one got to Hell and kept my hands raised to show I wasn’t holding a weapon, while I inched towards Cerebus. Gabriel had given me an Enochian incantation I could say to try and unlock the chains. I hoped it worked. As I came within reach of the 3-headed monster dog, I also hoped that it upheld its end of the bargain. _So far so good_

When I got to it, I bent down, placed my hands on the cuffs, and said the incantation. Blue light highlighted invisible runes around the cuff and disappeared before it snapped open. _3 more._ I moved around to the other front paw before bending down to do the same thing with that one, and got distracted when a glob of drool fell on my shoulder. I shook my head muttered, “Really? It’s a bit rude to drool on people. It’s gross, and it let’s them know how much you want to eat them,” as I returned my attention to the cuff. 

After that, I moved around to the next one and got it done faster, because it was away from the heads. Before I finished the last cuff I paused. “You won’t get in trouble or get caught again if I let you go now? You’ll make it to the other gates?” 

I swear the response I got was the left head that I got along with the best looking back at me and giving me an evil grin, which I think meant it didn’t intend to get caught again once it was free. _I wonder how long it’s been kept tethered._ I returned with a smile of my own and said, “Okay, well have fun. Let’s see what sort of damage you can do. I might see you when I go to close the next gate,” before I finished the last cuff. 

As soon as the last one was off, I had to jump out of the way, because Cerebus tore off back through the gate on his way to create mayhem in Hell. I recited the incantation I knew off by heart and saw the demonic forces moving towards the entrance now that the watchdog was gone. _Get your blade. You don’t want to let any of those out._ A couple did because it took awhile for the gates to completely shut, but they weren’t expecting me to be there. The element of surprise worked in my favor, and the two that got through didn’t take more than a step outside the gate before they were dead. _Now. How do I get back to Gabriel?_ The invisible wall was gone, so now there was a horde of demons heading right for me. _One demon at a time, I guess._ They all had to go, because I still had to keep my word to Cerebus on helping Gabriel kill off what was left of the demon army outside this gate. 


	30. A Job Well Done

Bobby picked up the radio. He hated to admit it, but they couldn’t go on. “Listen Dean . . . Rufus and I ain’t gonna be able to take out the last trading post . . . we’re lookin’ at a New Orleans completely overrun by witches from what we can tell . . . and they’re usin’ a wall of Croats as defense . . . they must’ve known we were followin’ the delivery truck unless they do this with every new delivery they get in . . . it’s lookin’ like they’ve got an operation runnin’ that’s almost as big as Sam’s . . . don’t know what the hell they’re doin’ with the kids . . . maybe they’re keepin’ ‘em to find the natural-born witches to train and boost their ranks?” 

Rufus was hangin’ outside the truck takin’ out as many as he could, but it felt like they were in an ocean of the undead. They shoulda known this was comin’. The Croats hadn’t been in Louisiana just like they hadn’t been in Nevada. Then he and Rufus got close enough to see a group of humans standing around outside the city early this morning before the sun came up. They’d thought they might be able to save ‘em. They knew they were humans because their body heat signatures looked different in the thermal imaging equipment than possessed humans or monsters. Then the damn humans all raised their hands high above ‘em and the Croats started comin’ out of the woodwork. _Damn witches._

Dean’s voice crackled down the radio. “And probably sacrifice the rest for black magic . . . You get a chance to stop the last truck from gettin’ in?” 

“That’s what we’re workin’ on gettin’ to now. Then we’ll head back. The delivery truck don’t look like its farin’ much better ‘n we are . . . whatever them damn witches did to the croats they don’t listen to the demons down here anymore.” Bobby had to drop the radio into his lap and take down a row of croats at the driver’s side with the AK47 he kept in the seat next to him. Never thought he’d see somethin’ like this. They needed to get that wall done before the snow melted in the spring and the croats that came down south started headin’ home for the summer. Migratin’ croats. Who’d’ve thought it? 

_“I’m sendin’ Cas your way to help you out. He’ll take you back to where you started in Vegas outside the ring of monsters, cuz it’s been almost a week, and the next round of trucks should be leavin’ tomorrow.”_

Rufus looked back in at Bobby at that, and Bobby shrugged before givin’ Dean their location. What the hell did Rufus expect? All the other teams except for Dean and Cas were already back in Vegas. They’d be out here as long as it took to get every kid left alive if Dean had anything to say about it. Shame that’s all they were finding in the back of those trucks though. Each loss of a kid was harder than it would’ve been if they lost someone who’d had a chance to grow up and live some, not that adult losses wouldn’t have been hard in their own way, but they would’ve been easier to accept. 

He could see where Rufus was comin’ from. Hittin’ the trading posts was hard work, and he and Rufus were gettin’ too old for the constant battles, but he wasn’t goin’ down without a fight, and Dean needed ‘em to do this, so it’s what they were gonna do. 

Bobby saw a flash of light come from around the delivery truck. It was half a mile closer to the city than he and Rufus were. Must’ve been Cas. Lookin’ through binoculars, it looked like he was draggin’ the demons out and plannin’ on smitin’ them too. Then Cas smote the croats at the back of the truck, so he could open it, climb in, and took the kids to the buses. The buses were set up in a secure central location . . . coulda changed it after Cas got sent in Adam’s place, but Dean thought it’d make things a bit easier for Cas than havin’ to fly back and forth between each team and the camp. 

That angel was a Godsend. Bobby never felt as close to Cas as Dean and Beth did, but he always thought it was good to keep him around, because Cas was powerful and could do a lot even when he’d been de-powered, and Cas was loyal and loved Dean like he was his brother and commander in chief all rolled into one and Beth like a little sister . . . now though, he saw the angel as a part of their family too. Being in constant battle with someone reliable like Cas by your side would make you feel that way about ‘em. 

The next thing Bobby knew, Cas was by their truck. The angel placed his hand on it, and Bobby and Rufus found themselves sittin’ right back where they started from way outside the city wall around Vegas. Rufus started bitchin’ about wantin’ a bit of a warning the next time he was gonna be transported from the hustle and bustle of New Orleans to the dead quiet of the desert outside Vegas in the blink of an eye. “Rufus, why don’t you catch some sleep, and I’ll keep watch until it gets dark.” 

“You sayin’ I’m too old to stay awake?” 

“No, I’m sayin’ you’re turnin’ into a grouch I don’t wanna deal with so you need to take a damn nap. You can keep an eye out for anything that moves past us tonight on its way to form that wall of monsters, since so you’re so damn young that you can stay up all night. That way we’ll both be ready to move in the mornin’.” Rufus gave him a look and punched his sleeping bag against the door to fluff it up more like a pillow. Weren’t long before Bobby was left there with his own thoughts and Rufus’s snoring. 

It was good to know the other teams were out there around the city somewhere nearby. The calls had come in the day before from the other teams needin’ to be sent back to the starting line. None of the rest of ‘em ran into the same sorta problems he and Rufus had in New Orleans, which is what had held them up. Pamela and Stephen made it up to somewhere outside of Seattle. Ivan and Yuri got sent all over southern California, Arizona, New Mexico and ended up in the lower half of Texas, while he and Rufus had been more north than them and moved further East. Bobby didn’t know where Dean was, but the last he heard, he was somewhere near Upstate New York or Vermont, so Cas was takin’ those kids straight back to the camp, because it was closer to them than the buses. These trading posts really were all over the country.

Seein’ Vegas the way it was now, knowin’ what was goin' on inside of it, and knowin’ who was responsible for it broke Bobby’s heart every time he looked at it. The only thing he could hold onto was that Sam thought he was doin’ it for the right reasons and instead of diggin’ up to get outta the hole he was diggin’, Sam just kept diggin’ himself deeper and deeper. If he thought of it that way, he could think that there was still some good left in Sam and that Dean might be able to reach that good part some day if the brothers ever got close enough to see each other again. If Dean was able to do that . . . he didn’t know what they’d do with Sam . . . he’d figure it out if and when that time ever came . . . he didn’t know if Dean would even be able to find it in him to want to talk to Sam again . . . but then it was Dean, and Bobby knew what Sam meant to him. 

It’s just that Bobby also knew that whatever it did to him to see all this and witness each time another kid died while they were busy fightin’ the monsters at the trading posts . . . it was a million times worse for Dean . . . Every time there was a call from the other teams sayin’ they’d lost another kid, he could hear the disappointment and sadness in Dean’s voice when he answered the calls even though Dean tried to hide it. 

All the misery the survivors behind those walls were sufferin’ and all the ones they couldn’t save was breakin’ Dean down and always would’ve done, because Dean felt responsible for everyone on his ship, and now that ship included all the people left standin’ in the world. But Sam bein’ one of the main tidal waves headin’ for that ship and Sam bein’ the one responsible for makin’ that ship have to set sail in the first place was crushin’ Dean. 

And now Dean was clingin’ too tightly to Beth, because he needed someone to help him with all the heavy liftin’. It came off as not listenin’ to her and keepin’ things from her . . . but then she handled that whole thing back at the camp worse than Dean had. Makin’ ‘em all worry that she was losin’ it with the way she ran away from them in the woods like a damn child and then takin’ off the way she had with Gabriel without sayin’ nothin’ to no one. 

Dean mighta stood up for her after she left and tried to explain it to him, but Bobby wasn’t buyin’ what Dean was sellin’, and he was gonna have words with her the next time he saw her. You don’t do that to people who are just tryin’ to look out for you, and if nobody told her that, then she’d start makin’ this a regular thing, and he wasn’t gonna allow that. Dean didn’t need it. Adam didn’t need it. Cas didn’t need it. He didn’t need it, and believe it or not, she didn’t need it. Their new life was already hard enough on all of ‘em without havin’ to deal with her runnin’ away from home. 

He missed when she was less emotional and had half a soul. Back then she wouldn’t do crap like this . . . but at least he’d been wrong about Dean bein’ tied to whether she lived or died takin’ the fight outta her, because they all needed her on their team and fightin’. Maybe what happened in that family meetin’ was the straw the broke the camel’s back for her for some reason, and maybe she wouldn’t do it again after this time. Maybe Bobby was worried she went out there in the wrong mindset for what she was doin’ and wished she’d have left it until she cooled down some . . . but he was still givin’ her a piece of his mind the next time he saw her. He chuckled when he thought of how she’d respond to his lecture . . . she’d probably sass him and then feel bad about it afterwards and apologize.

Early the next mornin’, Cas came to their truck to pass along a message from Dean. “Dean wanted me to tell you that Beth needs his help with the last gate in Wyoming. I’ll be going with him, so he doesn’t want you to follow the trucks to the trading posts and risk losing anyone. He wants you to find a way to ambush the delivery trucks all at once. They need to be far enough away from here that it won’t be noticed but before any turn off for the first trading post. Since the two of you have the most experience, you can lead the other teams on what will work once you leave the area and know nothing inside the city walls can pick up your transmissions. You will need to drive the children straight to the buses, so they can be kept warm while you take them back to camp. The demons don’t go past the buses. Dean doesn’t want them to be able to follow you there to the camp. He doesn’t know how long we’ll be, but he said not to expect to hear from him or I for awhile.” 

Rufus looked relieved to be going home soon, but still asked, “What about the convoy he’s supposed to be following?” 

“He’s having me collect Adam and Shane from the camp to take our truck, because we won’t need it.” 

Cas looked ready to go onto the next team, so he could relay the message, but Bobby stopped him. “Wait, what about Adam gettin’ too close to Sam?” 

Cas’s gaze looked over to the city before he shook his head. “Sam is not here. He’s in Wyoming. He’s going there to find Beth, because he knows that’s where she will be.” 

After Cas disappeared, Rufus shook his head. “What is it with this generation, Bobby? They have no common sense. The two people who shouldn’t be anywhere near the Hell Gates or Sam are walkin’ right up to both of ‘em.” 

“Well, you can’t tell neither of ‘em nothin’, cuz they do whatever the hell they want anyway. Just have to hope they know what they’re doin’ well enough they don’t kill the rest of us off while they’re doin’ it . . . wake me up when it’s time to go,” Bobby answered before tipping the bill of his hat down over his eyes. Rufus didn’t need to know that if Beth died, Dean would too, so the best place for Dean to be if she needed help was by her side. At least nobody outside of the immediate family knew that one. Didn’t have to be kept quiet to protect ‘em from the big bad monsters of the world when the petty revenge of humans could find a way to use that against ‘em just fine some day.

“Stephen . . . you still got the convoy in sight?” Bobby was manning the radio as Rufus barreled down the road. They needed to keep an eye on their own convoy from a distance and try to get out in front of it without the demons knowin’ they were there. 

“Yeah, and Ivan says they’re on theirs too. We’ll let you know when we get to a point we can cut back in front of ‘em and lay down the traps.” 

“Adam? You good to go?” 

Bobby heard that cocky voice chime down the radio sayin’, “Course I am, Bobby. We’re already set up and waiting for them. ETA 5 minutes.” He should’ve known the youngest one in their group would be ready first. 

“All right. Let me know when you’re done, then start headin’ back to the buses . . . Jesus Rufus. Give me warnin’ before you make a turn like that so I can prepare myself if we’re gonna tip over.” Rufus gave him that crazy thrill-seeking look he recognized meant trouble. Looked like Rufus took Adam’s call as a cue that the race was on. They wouldn’t beat the kid, but maybe they’d get it done before the other teams.

Bobby and Rufus laid down the devil’s trap in the middle of the road and moved into their positions. As soon as the first truck landed in the middle of it and came to a screeching halt, Bobby moved in to put a devil’s trap behind the last truck, so it couldn’t reverse outta there, while Rufus fired the devil’s trap bullets into the driver and the passenger of the lead truck and moved his way back to the next truck as fast as possible. Bobby followed suit with the last truck in the convoy and moved towards Rufus until they met in the middle. They were done before the demons even knew what hit ‘em. 

“Whoo . . . Did you see that Bobby? Can’t say demons have gotten any smarter anyway,” Rufus whooped with unbridled excitement. 

“Yeah, I saw it Rufus . . . I helped ya do it. Got any idea how we’re gonna fit 50 kids with us in the back of the snow plough along with another 20 demons in meat suits?” Bobby chuckled looking at the convoy and allowing himself to feel his own sense of satisfaction over a job well done. At least they didn’t lose any kids this time, and they sent the message last week that Dean wanted to send by killing the monsters they found and burning down the trading posts they came across. None of the monster alliances these kids were headin’ to this week in different trading posts than the ones the kids were supposed to go to last week would be gettin’ the payment they were expectin’, so maybe they’d fall apart too. He’d take this win, and they’d figure out how to get them all home somehow.


	31. The Set Up

As soon as Cas brought Adam and Shane to the truck, Dean was ready to go. He hopped up on the side of the snow plough and looked down at the demons in the back, pulled out his demon-killing knife and tapped the point of the blade against the side of truck to get their attention before saying with a grin, “I know you all decided to start fillin’ me in on my brother’s plans thinking that if you did, I’d kill you quick, so you wouldn’t have to go back to him . . . and I said you wouldn’t be goin’ back to Sam . . . I left out the part where I leave you with Adam, my other brother, while I go close that last Devil’s gate, and then he’s gonna send you back to Hell, so Crowley can have some fun with you,” before he hopped back down and went over to Adam to add, “If you don’t hear from me or Cas or get some kind of a sign that the gate is closed, none of them get past the buses. Not if there’s a chance they could lead anything back to the camp once they’re exorcised.” He handed over his demon-killing blade to Adam. “You all right with that?” He knew it was an issue with Adam. 

Adam ducked his head and examined the knife before looking back up at him. “Yeah, it’ll get done. I know what’s at stake. Just wondering how you’re going to close the gate without it.” 

Dean stepped back and picked up his bags. “Cas picked me up a spare angel blade, but I’m gonna want that knife back when I get back to the camp.” Giving Adam the knife and saying he wanted it back when he saw him again was sort of his way of letting Adam know he intended on coming back, but if he didn’t, that knife was Adam’s along with the responsibility of the camp. 

Adam got it and nodded before taking a deep breath. “Yeah, you can have it back if you trade me for the angel blade.” Then Adam flashed him a grin and climbed up in the driver’s side of the truck, and Cas took Dean to Wyoming.

Gabriel was expecting them, because Cas had to let him know what the demons had told them, and Gabriel had told Cas that he wanted his help on this one anyway, but Beth didn’t know they were coming. Gabriel didn’t want to ruin the surprise. Dean saw her about 30 seconds before she knew they were there. 

She looked like she was deep in thought. She looked good . . . healthy, like life on the road with Gabriel seemed to be working out for her better than it had when she’d been with him . . . She’d cut her hair . . . It came to just above her shoulders now. You wouldn’t even think she’d been living in a post-Apocalyptic world for the last 6 months. 

When Beth finally saw him, she went through a complex range of emotions that started with a relieved deep breath and a smile that said she’d wanted to see him again before her shoulders slumped and she looked down thinking about how she wanted him as far away from here possible. Gabriel looked down at her and shook his head. “I told you I wasn’t going to be around forever. It’s time to take those archangel-training wheels you keep thinking about off, so you can do what you’re meant to do. I’m not the one who’s supposed to be helping you. He is.” Looked, like Gabriel didn’t hold back on her either.

She rolled her eyes at Gabriel and gave him a look that said he was annoying but didn’t say anything to him before she got up to walk over to Dean. “Bring your hellhound glasses? You’re going to need them.” Dean didn’t know what to say now that he was here, so he just pulled the glasses out of his inside jacket pocket to show them to her. She smiled, which always relaxed him, and made him think that maybe this hadn’t been a bad idea. “Alright, let’s see ‘em on.” He looked at her quizzically but did what she said. Her grin widened before she said, “Not bad,” and turned to look back to Gabriel. 

Gabriel rolled his eyes and came over to put his hand on Dean’s forehead. Beth laughed briefly at Dean’s reaction to that. “Try and take them off.” When he did, they wouldn’t come off. _Not even here 5 minutes, and the jokes are already starting. Freaking hilarious._

“Thought we had some demons to kill and a gate to close.” 

Beth pulled her glasses out of her pocket and put them on so Gabriel could do the same thing to her, and Dean’s annoyance subsided. She looked hot, like a sexy schoolteacher. Gabriel told him to keep it in his pants because they had work to do and then turned and walked away. _That’s rich coming from Gabriel. And he can stop reading my damn mind too._

Beth ignored Gabriel and explained the glasses. “I’ve had mine glued to my face every time we go to a gate ever since the fourth one. You’ll be glad they’re stuck on . . . I want to show you something.” 

She grabbed Dean by the hand and pulled him over to a slight hill overlooking the area. When they got to the top, she turned and pointed in the direction of the Devil’s gate. He hadn’t been paying attention to anything else, because he’d been staring at her ass while she walked ahead of him, but all of that was forgotten when he took a good look around them. “I, uh, I don’t even know what to do with that.” 

They were about 5 miles out from the Devil’s Gate. Dean turned slowly to take everything in. Their camp was completely surrounded by millions of hellhounds and demons with and without meat suits spreading out as far as the eye could see . . . Looking up to the sky, the dark cloud hanging directly over what he guessed was the Devil’s gate was actually a demon cloud. Without the glasses, it just would’ve looked like one hell of a storm cloud, but with the glasses, he could see demonic souls raining down from it while more flew up to join it, like it was constantly being replenished. It was in a holding pattern just waiting for the right time to strike. 

“Last gate, and they knew I’d be coming. I think it’s a bit of overkill really,” Beth said by his side. 

“It hasn’t been like this the whole time, has it?” He was unable to break away from what he was seeing. 

“No, the first one there were 10 possessed, 10 disembodied, and a handful of hellhounds. Then there were 50 demons in total at the next gate, and 150 or so at the third. The 4th gate started getting tricker, because I think there must’ve been 6 or 7 hundred by the end of it. The 5th gate in Turkmenistan is when things jumped to the thousands. The 6th gate in Guatemala was even harder, but this . . . I’ve never seen anything like this. Don’t waste your time on the possessed humans. Crowley is having the demons kill all the meat suits. The demons that aren’t in meat suits are using weapons now that are just as invisible as they are, but do the same damage as if they were solid . . . invisible sword wielded by a demonic hair dresser is kind of how I got a hair cut on the last gate, and then Gabriel decided he had to fix it.” 

Dean pulled out some of the silver ammo he brought with him. “You got anymore silver rounds? We’re gonna need more, and we need to start markin’ ‘em with devil’s traps. Sam’s here somewhere with his own army, and his army has possessed werewolves in it.” 

She looked up at him in confusion. “Why the hell would he do that?” 

Dean shrugged. “Guess those experiments we heard about finally paid off. Don’t know how it’s possible, but the werewolves can carry the demons across any iron, salt, or devil’s traps. Silver won’t work on it’s own because of the demons, and the Kurdish knife won’t work alone, because of the werewolves. I’m calling ‘em weredemons. Thought silver bullets with traps on ‘em might work. Not sure what the angel blade will do.” 

Beth exhaled a quick breath. “And I thought croat-werewolf hybrids would be bad . . . weredemons. I like that. It’s better than calling them Trojan wolf demons . . . We should still close off the devil’s trap railways surrounding this gate to keep the rest of these demons in here.” _How much of that’s left now? Doesn’t matter. We have two angels that can help us rebuild it._

“Yeah, we might be left with weredemons, but what looks like a big chunk of Hell won’t be able to get past it.” 

Beth took one last look towards the Devil’s Gate and started to head back down the hill, so he followed. She glanced back at him briefly before saying, “Too bad we can’t use Sam being here to our advantage and break into Vegas while he’s away.” _No way am I leaving now._

“Nice try, but I’m not leavin’.” 

“Figured it couldn’t hurt to try . . . I know it sounds selfish, but I’m glad you’re here. Gabriel’s been blocking you from me when he and I go to close a gate, so you don’t have to go through it if I get hurt, but if anything worse happened to me, and he couldn’t fix it, then I didn’t think –“ 

He grabbed her hand and turned her back towards him. “Yeah, about that. I already signed on for all of it, and that was my choice. I don’t want –“ 

She smiled and cut him off. “You’ll be thankful he did it when you see what this is like. It’s a never ending barrage of attacks and being slammed onto the ground or a tree and having to get back up to keep going only for it to happen again 10 seconds later. You wouldn’t have wanted 2 weeks of that when you had your own thing to do . . . but if it makes you feel better . . . when he said that thing about the training wheels, he was letting me know that he’s letting us fly solo on this one. He’ll help with the fighting and planning, but that’s it. The rest is up to us. School is over. So let’s go tell them what we decided to do with the devil’s trap, and when we’re done fixing that, I’ll show you the tent I’ve been staying in for the last two weeks. It might change your mind about camping, and you can get some proper sleep and food before we have to deal with this tomorrow.” 

Dean looked at what was left of his bacon double cheeseburger with fries and a side order of pie, while Gabriel tried to teach Cas the finer points of toasting marshmallows in the fireplace of the 10 million dollar cabin they were staying in tonight. No wonder Beth looked so good. He never got to live it up like this even before the outbreak. The 5-star accommodation and probably the best burger he’d ever had were almost enough to make him forget what was outside the tent waiting for them. Almost. There was also the feeling that this was meant as a last meal. Beth must’ve picked up on what he was feeling, because she smiled and asked, “Silver lining to going into battle tomorrow is we get one last good meal?” 

When he shrugged like it was obvious as he took another big bite of his burger, she shook her head. “Nah, our down times between gates have been like this the whole time. Until you got here we were staying in the Playboy mansion. He changed it, because he said he didn’t want to give you any ideas.” 

Dean grinned, but before he could ask, Beth laughed. “No, it was without the bunnies.” _Yeah, right. Gabriel probably had a couple of fake real bunnies stashed around there somewhere._

“Sure all this isn’t gonna make you go soft?” With his burger done, he was looking forward to moving onto the pie. _Oh god, the pie is even better than the burger._

“I haven’t gone soft . . . except on packing down. Wait until you see him do that tomorrow,” Beth said polishing off her gourmet grilled cheese sandwich that Gabriel told her she had to eat before she could launch into a massive piece of chocolate cake. 

Dean leaned into her then and whispered, “What gives? Why’s he doin’ all this for you or me? He’s always been a dick every time I’ve met him.” 

She leaned closer and paused to look at Gabriel when he brought out a package of hotdogs for he and Cas to cook over the campfire now. Cas made a face at the hotdogs, but Gabriel kept insisting he take one until he did and put it on the end of his prongs. “Look at how he’s trying to be a big brother to Cas by teaching him about camping from an angel’s perspective, so Cas can understand it from a human’s perspective. He took the time to teach Cas how to drive your truck like a big brother would too. I think I bring out the paternal side of him.” 

Dean watched Gabriel and Cas and got what she meant. To him, Gabriel seemed like the older brother trying to get Cas to lighten up and get him to have a good time. It reminded him of times he did the same for Sam. It pushed hard on some things he didn’t want to think about. He needed to not think about Sam with what they had to do tomorrow, so he asked her why she thought she brought that out in Gabriel. “He’s the one that programmed my normal life . . . you seem to have known that already.” She stopped, so he explained what Cas said after she left with Gabriel. 

She looked down and said, “I shouldn’t have left the way I did. I was angry that Adam knew when I didn’t. It’s a big deal. I should’ve known about it, but I get why you didn’t want to tell me. I just . . . I needed time cool off and think about it. But then nobody would leave me alone, and that’s what really pissed me off. Why were peope chasing me through the woods? If Adam needs to go on one of his walks or Bobby needs to drink himself into oblivion, or you want to go work on your car . . . nobody starts chasing Adam around the block, or Bobby around his liquor cabinet, or you around the Impala, but if I want to go think by myself by a lake or up a tree, it’s an all out manhunt . . . When Gabriel showed up and gave me an out, I took it, and I’m sorry for the way I left . . . not for leaving, because these gates needed to be closed, but definitely for the way I left.” Since his talk with Cas, it hadn’t really bothered him that much. He’d known that she just needed to get it out of her system.

“Adam was there the first time it happened. That’s how he knew, and I told him not to say anything. I didn’t want you to hesitate on a hunt because of me . . . guess you found a way around it with Gabriel blocking me, but –“ 

“Even before he started doing that, I didn’t think about it.” She smiled at that way that’d sounded and then tried to explain what she’d meant. “The night in Paris, there wasn’t time to think about it when I was fighting in the catacombs, but even after the Hellhound got me. I didn’t think about it, because I didn’t feel it at all. I killed the hellhound and got back up, like nothing happened . . . If I got hurt and felt it, I’d pause or hesitate when I wouldn’t normally do it, because I’d be thinking about the same thing happening to you, but I didn’t, because I didn’t know I got hurt.” That made sense. 

“Yeah, I know what you mean. That’s what happened in Vegas with the monsters. I started to feel it, and then I didn’t . . . might’ve reminded me that you were getting dosed with venom, and I wasn’t sure if you were heading for a gate at the time.” 

“I’ll work on that and see if I can just get the effects straight away, so you don’t feel them at all.” That wasn’t why he said it. He still didn’t want her to . . . no, he was done with all of that. Let the chips fall where they may. It seemed like they really were all right now, so Dean did what felt like the natural thing to do and put the pie down while he leaned in to kiss her. Things were going pretty well until he heard Gabriel clear his throat above them. 

When they turned to look up at him, Gabriel said, “She has a big day ahead of her . . . and I’ve got my eye on you, Dean, so hands off,” before he walked back over to Cas and made the pie disappear.

Beth laughed at the confused look on Dean’s face. “Yeah, that’s what I was trying to say. I’ve been remembering more and more things. One of the things I’ve remembered is that when I met him, we had a chat . . . I don’t remember most of it, but I do remember him telling me that he was going to turn me into a little kid . . . He didn’t just make me think I was a little kid by downloading memories of a fake normal life for me. I actually got to start all over from the point my soul was taken out of my body . . . And Gabriel decided to play the role of my Dad. He’s the one who got up with me at night when I was a baby, and when I got a little older, he taught me how to play solitaire, let me read to him, played games with me, took me to football games, taught me how to drive, and watched movies with me . . . and he let me out on a pretty regular basis to interact with real people . . . maybe the first whole day of what was supposed to be my year was real, but in the past, so when I was 6, I got let out in 1986 for a day or when I was 19, I got out for a day in 1999 . . . after I met real people, like say at school or a new job, he’d recreate a classroom or place to work, so I’d feel like it wasn’t any different than when I met those people in the real world . . . The best way I’ve come up with so far to explain it is that if the first day was in the real world . . . the next 2 ½ days felt like a year to me. I think him being my Dad for what felt like 35 years for both of us is what helped kickstart this whole thing he’s got going on with Cas, and why he spoils me now, because I was always a Daddy’s girl. The longer we’ve been out here working on these gates, the more he’s been acting like my Dad without meaning to do it . . . He doesn’t quite have it down all the way yet, because he’s a little out of practice, but all my Dad’s mannerisms are there even if he doesn’t look the same. It’s why he’s making me eat my grilled cheese sandwich before I eat my cake, and why he’s giving you a hard time. I guess he takes it pretty seriously . . . Oh, and he gave me a new spleen.” 

She looked really . . . happy in a way he hadn’t seen her be in awhile . . . he knew it’d been hard on her thinking her dad was never real. She’d missed him a lot, and now she was kind of getting him back. Dean looked over at Gabriel who was still watching him and snorted. “And I thought maybe he was your best friend or something, but Dad trumps that . . . guess I just found a reason to want to make it through tomorrow if it means we’ve gotta wait until he’s gone to spend some time alone.”


	32. Unhappy Reunions

Cas came back from checking to make sure there were no new breaks in the iron railroads we’d fixed the day before and that the churches Gabriel had put back up weren’t burnt to the ground again. Everything looked good. Dean and I had just finished going through our guns and silver marked ammo and had our angel blades ready, so we were ready to go. I put on my glasses. Dean gave me a grin as he did the same, and I have to say that whatever he thought about how I looked wearing mine, I probably thought the same about how his looked on him. 

As soon as we stepped out of the tent, Gabriel snapped his fingers, and the campsite was gone. I loved that part. All the fun and no work required. All of us made our way up to the only place with a good view of the gate. It was a few miles away . . . I’d say about 5. I wondered where Sam was in all this. Was he inside the devil’s trap with his army already or waiting outside for his minions to find me and bring me to him? How many of his spies were intermingled with Crowley’s demons, and how many of Crowley’s were inside Sam’s camp? If we could pull this off and shut the gate, would we be able to do some sort of a mass exorcism and get rid of the bulk of two armies at once? 

Gabriel came up to stand next to me and said, “Looks like you’ll finally get to see me go nuclear.” 

_Yeah, but I didn’t think it’d weaken you so much that it could put you in danger during the fighting._

“You want me to put on a show for 2 weeks, and now that I finally let you have your way, you don’t want me to do it? Would you rather we fight our way there?” 

_Stop showing off in front of Dean. You didn’t lecture me at all until he got here._

“I did. You’re only thinking that, because now I’m embarrassing you.” 

_I’m not embarrassed. Early 30 somethings don’t get embarrassed by their parents . . . well, not unless their parents say something bigoted . . . or maybe if their parents treat them like teenagers. You didn’t act like this when I was a teenager._

“Give me a break. I’m just getting back into the swing of things, and . . . it’s my job to worry about you, not the other way around.” 

Dean was standing next to us and broke his hunter focus to laugh. “My Dad used to say that . . . You raise us and train us and then you expect us to sit back and let you handle it by yourselves . . . doesn’t work that way . . . Seriously, how weak are you gonna be after this? Cuz if it’s gonna put you at risk, you should head off after you’re done and let us handle it with Cas.” 

Gabriel rolled his eyes and said, “I’m an archangel. Think I’ve proved that I –“ 

Dean cut him off. “Yeah, but now we know you were her Dad. Changes things . . . she’s gonna want to protect you the way she would me. And if you mean that much to her, it’s my job to have your back, so she doesn’t get sidetracked while she’s shutting the gate.” 

Gabriel looked past us at Cas, when Cas said, “He’s saying you’re family, and it doesn’t matter what you are. They do anything to protect family.” 

Gabriel gave Cas an annoyed look. “I know that. Think I’ve been around the block a few more times than you.” Then he looked at me and Dean to add, “Castiel will have more juice than me for a couple of days, but I’ll be fine . . . their weapons won’t kill me. It still takes an archangel blade. Castiel is going to have to shield you from here, so you don’t get incinerated.” He finished by pointing at me. “And he’s not going to let you look. I already told him to keep an eye on you.” 

I smiled at how stern he was trying to be with me. “That’s all I needed to know. Thanks for this, Gabriel.” 

He turned to Dean to add more instructions. “Make sure you take care of her in there, not me. Demons like to pick her up and throw her around the place. She has a tentative deal with Cerebus, so the hellhounds don’t bother her much anymore unless their demon masters are nearby, and sometimes they even turn on them.” Dean was in the middle of checking his ammo again and paused to glance at me with the mention of the Cerebus deal before Gabriel turned back to me and added, “And don’t think your deal with Cerebus will hold for Dean just because it’s been working for you, and don’t think that it’ll hold if they caught Cerebus either, so don’t hold back on the hellhounds if they get too close just so you can honor your agreement, and don’t forget that tablet.” No way was I leaving here without that.

I nodded to let him know that I got it, and then gave him a hug. “Used to have to chase you around to get one of these when you were growing up.” I smiled and stepped back, and he gave Cas one final glance and disappeared. 

I didn’t even have much time to think about how spectacular this was going to be before Dean and I were knocked off our feet and landed on the ground as the first shockwaves hit the ground. That left us about 10 seconds to try and roll over onto our hands and knees during the earthquake before the blast of light from Gabriel’s grace blew past and enveloped us. Dean instinctively moved to shield me with his body, and we both saw the shadow on the ground of Cas with his wings outstretched behind us just before he told us to close our eyes, as the intensity of the light grew stronger. I did and felt Dean hold me tighter while the ground shook harder and the charge in the air built around us until it culminated in a massive boom similar to what you’d hear when a plane broke the sound barrier, and then Cas was picking us up and telling us we had to go before he transported us just outside the Devil’s Gate. 

And as soon as we got there, we had to hit the ground running. What Gabriel had done was clear out maybe 7 or 8 miles of ground troops on all sides of the Devil’s Gate, but the ones on in the cloud above us began plummeting to Earth to take their place and more began to pour out of the gate itself. The first thing that came at me was a hellhound. It took one look at me and changed direction to head for Dean, so I pushed Dean back and stood in its way. It stopped and looked at me before snorting and charged off to go fight one of Sam’s minions, I imagine. “You’ve gotta tell me the story behind that one when we get outta here,” Dean said just before he pushed me down and used his angel blade to stab into the heart of a disembodied demon that had landed behind me with a disembodied axe. 

I quickly rose and returned the favor with a demon behind him, as Cas joined in the fight with the demons that landed near him. My mission was to get to that gate and close it, so more demons reinforcements couldn’t come out. That’s where my focus shifted. I turned, blade at the ready, so I could slice through the demon that landed to my right and then took off at a sprint towards my target, dodging demons as they landed, and nimbly spinning past and cutting down demons that were in my way, so I never had to stop my forward momentum. 

I was almost to the gates and battling my way through the demons that were spilling out of Hell when I was thrown back and slammed into a nearby headstone by an invisible force. Dean came up beside the demon that was doing it and stabbed it in back before he ducked down as one came at him from the right with a demon sword. Gabriel popped up at the right moment and dropped that demon before Dean had the chance to kill it, and Dean looked annoyed before he had to focus on killing a different one. 

As the fray moved towards the two of them, I saw that they actually made a great team, and Dean was good with the blade. Cas was to my left, and he was fighting his way towards me, so I scrambled to my feet and took a few steps in Cas’s direction before I had to jump back as another demon came at me from the right. It moved past me, and I brought my blade up to cut through it as it did, but didn’t wait for it to stop flickering before I jumped over the nearest gravestone and sprinted over to Cas. 

“Hey, Cas. Can you help me out by smiting the demons before they can get out of the gate? I need time to say the incantation to close it, and I’m not getting it with the numbers pouring out right now.” My feet were pulled out from under me, and I was drug back a few feet. Cas popped up in front of that demon, faked left, went right, and killed the demon warrior before coming to help me up. We made our way to the gate fighting back to back. He was my teacher, and we’d done this sort of thing together a lot in practice . . . we even did this when we were at the Nivius headquarters, but that hadn’t been a battle like this. It didn’t seem to matter, because we could still read each other and the situation and fought well together. 

When we got to the gate, he told me to watch his back to keep me from going blind while he smote the demons at the entrance, and so I could make sure that nothing caught us unprepared obviously. As soon as his light died down, we turned like a well-oiled machine, and he watched my back, while I said my lines. The ground began to rumble as the gates slowly closed, but I didn’t fall down this time. 

There were a few demons making their way towards the gate now that Cas wasn’t smiting them, so I killed the ones that made it out and looked in through the gate preparing for more . . . just in time to see Cerebus. I felt bad, because he was still free as recently as the last gate Gabriel and I had shut. Now he was chained to the side to allow any demon that wanted out to pass, but the head looking at me nodded in thanks for closing the gate before the other heads bent down and grabbed a couple of demons that got too close to it, and that was the last thing I saw before the last gate was closed for good.

When it was over, I turned and stood next to Cas in a defensive position before he disappeared and popped up next to Dean to bring him over to me. Looking at the battle, now that I had the time, I realized that not all the demons were fighting our little band of gate closers. A lot of them were fighting each other, which meant some of them belonged to Sam, and some of them belonged to Crowley. 

As soon as Dean was standing next to me on the right, Gabriel and Cas took up guard positions in front of us, and I asked Dean if he still had the key. He nodded, but that’s when a group of about 20 disembodied demons dropped and flickered into nothing in front of where Cas and Gabriel were standing. 10 seconds later, Sam walked out of the throngs of chaotic fighting looking . . . inhuman. He sure as hell didn’t look like Sam much anymore except he had the same body-type and similar features. 

His posture was completely different. It was bold and confident. The gait of his walk was loaded with a royal sense of entitlement. The look in his eyes was dark and full of contempt, and his eyes were black. There would be no more puppy dog eyes from this Sam. One of Crowley’s soldiers made a move on him, but Sam more or less snapped his fingers and the demon died. He didn’t even have to think about it anymore to kill them. Sam being there had effectively stopped any and all fighting in the immediate vicinity from both sides of the war. We’d been fighting with these demons and needed 2 angels by our side to do it, and Sam just walked in like he owned the place, because in a way, I guess he did.

Gabriel and Cas kept their blades at the ready and maintained their protective stance in front of Dean and I. It looked like it might be a standoff until Sam called up one of his lackeys in a meat suit carrying something. _No . . . fuck you, Sam. You don’t have the right –_

“Dean, pay attention. Keep her with you.” Dean snapped out of whatever he was thinking about Sam, and wrapped his arms around my waist to pull me back towards him, because I’d started to go around Gabriel. 

Dean leaned down and whispered, “Beth . . . he’s got millions of years of practice. No demon or Sam has a chance against him.” _Yeah, but he's weakened, and I know how good Sam is when he's not on demon blood._ Sam’d had one of his demons go back to Detroit to pick up Lucifer’s blade . . . or maybe he picked it up before he left Detroit with Dean. Who knew when he got it, but he had it. _The arrogance_ . . . It disgusted me that he thought he could wield something like that at all, let alone that he thought he could use it against Gabriel. 

It took my eyes off of the demon lackey and put it on what he was holding, which was the point. I suspect it did the same for the other 3 even if it was only for a few seconds, but those few seconds were all Sam needed, because our focus should’ve been on the lackey and Sam, not the archangel blade. Dean caught it first. “Cas, you two need to go.” I saw the blood on Sam’s hand, and then the lackey ripped open its shirt. Sam slapped a bloody hand against its chest and Cas and Gabriel were banished somewhere far, far away. 

I glanced up at Dean. His eyes were on Sam. His face was set to mask what he was feeling, but I could tell he almost felt dead inside. He would have felt completely dead if it weren’t for one thing. He was clinging onto me to keep me from doing anything stupid as much as he was because he needed to remind himself to keep it together for me. I needed to do the same for him. We were alone in this now. 

I put my angel blade up and took a protective stance in front of him as well as I could with him still holding onto me around the waiste. _This isn’t going to go Sam’s way. He isn’t going to take Dean back to that camp. He isn’t going to take me to his camp. He isn’t getting another fucking tablet that I know is just on the other side of this building._

“I’ve gotta say, Dean . . . I know I said the door would always be open, but I was beginning to wonder. If you hand the oracle over to me now . . . it would make up for a lot of the things you’ve done wrong. I have her either way, but I’d rather reign over everything with you by my side.” _Why does everyone keep calling me the damn oracle? All I did was watch a fucking TV show . . . and I guess I can talk to God, but God doesn’t really talk back unless you count what He or She answers as far as requests go. I’m still a fucking person . . . I don’t want to be called a fucking oracle or North Star._

Dean squeezed me gently to let me know he had this, but he needed me to stay put, and then he let me go. “So, we’re kicking this up a notch from just rewriting history? We’re taking over the universe now?” 

Sam snorted. “See, that was always your problem, Dean. You never thought big enough. You were always too short sighted. This . . . what I’m offering is what it always should’ve been, you and I getting rid of all the evil in the world once and for all . . . together.” He paused to prove his point and raised his arms to shoulder height before he lowered them again, and about 30 demons from both sides dropped dead. “Rewrite and go back is the prize at the end of the race, Dean.” 

Dean stepped out from behind me and placed himself in front while handing me the key behind his back. I knew what he wanted me to do, but I was going to try something different. I had no doubt this version of Sam would kill Dean if this went the way I thought it might, which would be kind of ironic if the reason he killed Dean was to get to me, and I either got stuck in my head forever or died with Dean, but I still didn’t want Dean dead. 

“From where I’m standing you’re no better than the things you just killed, Sam. You think slapping good intentions on this makes up for what you’ve done? You think I want this? You think Dad or Mom would’ve wanted this?” 

Sam’s eyes darkened. “It doesn’t matter what Mom or Dad would’ve wanted. They’re not here, and they’re not here, because they were weak. I used to think you were strong, but you’re just as weak as the rest of them. You never would’ve been able to make the hard decisions I’ve had to make to get where I am.” 

Dean snorted. “Nope . . . I never would’ve made the decisions you made, because they’re wrong . . . If that makes me weak? If that means I’m like our family, then I’m all right with that.” 

Sam looked away and shook his head before directing his attention around Dean towards me. “You know what it’s like to make hard decisions don’t you? It’s how you’re down here, isn’t it . . . North Star or should I call you oracle? You’re the one who sacrificed Rachel, so you could have your own way. How is what I’ve done worse than that?” _You have got to be kidding me._

“I prefer Beth . . . and I think you’re completely fucked if you think me killing the other half of me is the same thing as torching the planet on your way to ruling the universe.” 

Sam’s hatred of me showed through as he shouted, “She was a living breathing person who had her own life, and you murdered her. What I have planned for you is as much for her as it is to get what I want. She’ll be here when I start things over, and you will not.” _You are cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs, Sam. Think that demon blood has gone to your brain._ He seemed to think that I should be scared of him. I wasn’t. The best way to let him know I wasn’t was to tell him exactly what I thought of him. 

“You’re an idiot. A doped up, crazy, moron . . . I have no idea why these demons follow you around . . . you have no idea what you’re doing. If they had any intelligence at all, they’d leave after your little demonstration to prove to Dean that all you really want at the end of this is to wipe them all out . . . And why not skip over the ‘riding the world of evil’ idea and go straight for the history rewrite? I’ll tell you why . . . it’s because you know you won’t be rewriting anything . . . you know you’ll be destroying everything if you take on the power of God . . . you want to kill all the evil in the world with Dean first, because you know you won’t be able to bring him back. It’s one final hunt for you to have with him before you selfishly do whatever the fuck you want the way you always do. It’s also because you like killing and torturing now. If you don’t plan on bringing any monsters or demons back in your universe, you want to enjoy doing whatever you want to them while you still can, because you’re twisted . . . Gabriel said you liked it, and now I can see that’s true . . . I also think it’s laughable that your ego makes you think you’re the only one that’s going to win this race to get the information I have. You’re just one of a number of Big Bads out for a piece of it, and out of the three I know about, you’re the weakest one by far . . . And as for Rachel . . . I don’t really remember that part, so I don’t think taking her out made that much of an impact on me and therefore must not have been that hard of a decision for me to make. But what I can tell you is that I’m glad I killed the other half of me, because she’s poison. I find it interesting that you related so well to something designed to be manipulative, vain, wrathful, and selfish even before you became this thing you are now. The company we keep says a lot about us, Sam.” 

Sam’s inhuman side had come out more by the time I was finished. He looked at Dean and said in a voice I’d never heard him use. “And you knew about this? You knew who she really was and kept it, like all the other secrets you two kept from me?” 

Dean grinned and said, “Come on Sam . . . of course I knew. I’ve known since the first day she got here. Doesn’t screw up my chances at the top next to you, does it?” before his voice grew serious. “I told you before and I’m tellin’ you now that I’m not helpin’ you with this, so you can stick your job offer where the sun don’t shine, Sam.” That was it. That was the cue for me to get the Hell out of there. A semi-circle of weredemons moved its way past the masses of demons that had been moving away or fucking off back into that cloud with the numbers Sam had been dropping throughout his speeches. 

“I gave you a chance, Dean, but if you’re only going to get in the way, then I don’t need you, and I’ll bring back a brother who gets it.” _Seriously, what the fuck is up with that voice?_

As the weredemons moved towards us, Dean raised his gun with the silver devil’s trap bullets, but I told Dean to wait before I turned him around and pulled him down to meet me in a kiss. As we got more into it, he wrapped his arms around me, which was what I needed . . . I needed him close, and I needed to use our connection for all it was worth. I let him know what I needed him to do through my thoughts. He wasn’t sure it would work, but he trusted me. 

As our static electricity thing built more, he stepped me back, so I could get into position. I slipped my left hand away from his shoulder and touched the devil’s gate doors behind me before I slid my right hand with the key in it down his left arm and into his hand. That way we could hold the key between us and hopefully strengthen our bond. I pulled back from him to catch my breath. “Come on. We need to move. Be silent just in case they can hear us, don’t let go of my hand, and don’t pull me away from the building.” 

When he released his hold on me except for my hand, I turned to get out of the last place we’d been seen and grinned at the confusion on the faces of the weredemons. The look of pure fury on Sam’s face was priceless. Another 50 demons, including the lackey that’d helped banish Gabriel and Cas, dropped dead. Sam told the weredemons to find us in that fucked up deep voice he’d been using ever since I pissed him off. 

I took that as a sign that we should keep going and concentrated on making sure that my left hand stayed on the building. I knew that we were only invisible the way I was at Pompey’s Pillar as long as I kept my hand on the structure where the tablet was hidden. I don’t know what Dean was doing, because I couldn’t see him any better than I could see myself, but I had to drag him with me until we turned the corner. When we got to the back of the structure, I could feel the invisible ledge inside the back of the Hell Gate the same way I could feel it in Montana. That would have to wait until Sam left. 

I couldn’t exactly remember how I knew it, but I knew that where we were wasn’t exactly on Earth, and we weren’t exactly on another plane, like Hell or Heaven, but somewhere in between all of them at the same time, so it was sort of a semi-plane of existence. That meant nobody on any of the other planes could see us as long as we were there. I didn’t know if they could still touch or hear us, but I wasn’t willing to chance it, even if the weredemons were trying to sniff us out with no success. It was a good way to hide the tablets but also us. 

I only remembered this is where a tablet was when Gabriel and I got here a couple days ago, and I hadn’t thought about being able to use this as a way to hide if things went wrong, but Dean had. It’s why he’d given me the key. I figured the static electricity thing we had going on when we kissed, while an added bonus to sex, might be enough extra energy to make me disappear faster than I did in Montana and at the same time tie us together more, so if I went invisible he would too. It was all an educated guess, but it’d worked for now, so that’s all I cared about even if it could’ve gone horribly wrong, and still might if Dean didn’t stay invisible as long as I did. 


	33. Needing To Be Carried

Dean felt like the last two days had been a blur, with him living lots of it from moment-to-moment and acting without having to think, which was fine because that’s usually when he worked best. But everything was all sorts of fucked up with him holding onto Beth’s hand when he couldn’t see her as they hid from weredemons and Sam behind the Devil’s trap where Dean had killed Azazel, who set all of this in motion. Oh yeah, and they were inches from another tablet that his brother couldn’t have, and it looked like he and Beth were gonna be walking back to Wisconsin. If he and Beth could even get out of this devil’s trap. 

He felt Beth’s hand tighten around his about 15 minutes after they went invisible when Sam called Dean’s name. Dean responded by giving her hand a gentle squeeze to let her know he was fine staying where they were. He’d already had enough memories of his brother tarnished. Any hope he’d been holding onto that he’d be able to get through to Sam was gone. The way Sam acted when he got here, the way he moved . . . all of it was the same as when Dean had talked with Lucifer in that garden . . . except the eyes. Sam’s eyes were full of more intense hatred than Lucifer’s had been, and they were black, like when he killed Lilith . . . and Lucifer never lost his cool. And this was real. It wasn’t the future or a lesson from a douchebag angel. 

Before all this, Dean hadn’t thought he’d be able to break more than he had at Tommy’s funeral pyre, and he’d been right, because he wasn’t broken now. To be broken, you have to have something left to break, and seeing with his own two eyes what Sam was now . . . it gutted him and left him with almost nothing. He knew he’d lost Sam a long time ago, but he never thought it would actually come to this . . . Sam needed to be taken out, and Dean didn’t have it in him to do it. 

They were all gonna be wiped out. Him, his parents, Beth, everyone was gonna be destroyed, because he knew what the right thing to do was, but he couldn’t do it, and if it ever came down to it . . . God, chose the wrong man for this job. Dean re-holstered his gun in his thigh holster and wiped the stray tears nobody could see away with his invisible hand. Maybe he was weak, because he should’ve put a bullet in Sam’s head back there, but when he tried he couldn’t . . . if he even could while he was invisible. He didn’t know. It didn’t matter. It’s what he should’ve done, but he hadn’t.

“Dean! . . I didn’t mean it. Come on, man! It’s me. We can work this out.” 

Dean leaned his head back against the building and looked up to the heavens. He couldn’t take much more of this. It didn’t even sound like his Sammy anymore. It sounded like a demon . . . And now Dean’s mind was whirling through all of the memories he and Sam had growing up, like the Fourth of July 1996 or the birthdays he tried to make up to Sam when their Dad forgot or when he saw Sam in Our Town and how he used to pretend to forget the name of it on purpose to hide how proud he’d been of Sam for that even if Sam hadn’t gotten the part he’d understudied for and ended up being a tree. It’d always been the two of them. Him lookin’ after Sam and makin’ sure Sam could get as much of a normal life as possible, even if they had to pick up and move to a new school too many times to count, and Sam needing him to be the one to give him those things, because their Dad wouldn’t. 

Now Sam wanted to kill him and make him the way he wanted? All those things he’d tried to do and be for Sam had never been enough. He wasn’t what Sam had ever really wanted. Dean might’ve let Sam kill him back there, because he didn’t really want to live in a world with Sam the way he was now, but if he did that, then Beth would die with him or be knocked out until she eventually woke up in Vegas alone, and she deserved better than that. She deserved to not have Dean give up . . . and so did the people at the camp back home. That’s all Dean had left, because everything else he ever thought he was or wanted to be was dead . . . as dead as the Sammy he used to know.

“Dean! I’ll stop! This can all be over today! I’ll protect Beth from Crowley and Raphael, and nothing has to change with you and me,” Sam called in the voice Dean no longer recognized. It twisted the knife more each time Dean heard it. He wanted nothing more than for Sam to mean it, but he knew Sam didn’t. “Hey, remember when we were coming back from . . . “ 

Dean tried to block out the rest and took a deep breath to try and keep his composure. He felt like he was going to lose it, and he knew Beth could feel everything he was feeling. In some ways that was good, because she understood him in a way nobody else could, and it made him feel like he wasn’t alone. But it was bad too. It made him feel vulnerable. It opened him up to her in all kinds of ways, and even if he trusted her her not to use it against him. It made him feel weak. He was weak. He didn’t want her to know how – 

_What did I say about weakness, Dean?_ That there’s strength in numbers. She’d carry him when he needed it, but that didn’t make him weak, just human. When the time came, he hoped he could do the same for her, but she always seemed stronger than him . . . What she’d thought just there was the only time she’d let him know what she was thinking since they’d been invisible. It came out loud and clear, almost like she was talking. She must be able to feel what he was feeling stronger too. It took his mind off of Sam until Sam started shouting something else about when they were kids.

That’s when the sky above them darkened into night in seconds. _Does time work different when you’re in Invisible Tablet Land? _Dean looked up. It wasn’t night. It was just a swirling mass of really dark clouds. They were almost as dark as the demon cloud, but they weren’t full of demons.__

A surge of lightning struck the demon cloud above them before he felt the hair on the back of his neck stand on end and lightning started crashing down all around them. His attention snapped down to the front when a couple of weredemons about 6 feet from he and Beth got hit. _Fuck. It fried the demons along with the werewolf meat suits?_ The wind picked up and whipped the snow around until it was like a blizzard with what looked like hurricane force winds. The trees were nearly bending sideways, but wherever he and Beth were, they weren’t feeling the effects of it. 

Lightning struck another weredemon before a couple blew over in the wind, and now Beth was pulling Dean with her around the side of the building. There was pure panic in the demon ranks no matter what side they were on. The demons couldn’t see in the snow and were running into each other while lightning rained down on them, torching every one of them it hit. The wind and snow were blowing around Sam, and Sam’s hair was blowing around his face, but he stood strong and shouted, “Dean! You want to play it this way? Then enjoy your new family while you can, because –“ Sam was knocked to the ground as lightning struck near him, and then Sam leapt up and was lost in the crowd of demons scrambling to find cover. 

Beth pulled Dean back around to the back of the building before she let go of his hand, and he could see himself again and feel the snow blowing into his face. She was gone for about 30 seconds before she appeared with a stone and told him they needed to run back to their bags up on that hill where they started. She handed him the stone and told him to make sure he didn’t break it. 

Then she took off around the side of the building with her angel blade drawn, and now she was gone, so it looked like he was heading into yet another moment-to-moment situation where he didn’t have time to question what was happening, and right now that was what he needed. Tucking the clay stone under his left arm, like a football, he got the angel blade ready in his right hand for those demons without meat suits. A gun wouldn’t work on them, and there were more of them than the weredemons anyway. 

Seconds later, he was tearing around the corner and chasing after Beth, who he could barely see in the snow, but from what he could see, she was sprinting through the masses of terrified demons and dodging past or leaping over lightning craters. As he got closer, he could see that she was cutting down the demons when they came across her path. He soon found he was doing the same thing, because those bitches were easy game, and he found it too tempting not to take out his frustrations by killing as many as he could until he caught up to her. 

A hellhound came charging at him from the left, but Beth pushed him out of the way and landed on the ground in a roll as it leapt at where he’d been. She raised her blade and sliced it open as it flew overhead, causing tons of gross black shit to pour down on top of her. Then she scrambled to her feet before grabbing Dean’s hand to pull him with her as they jumped over the hellhound’s corpse. 

Beth dropped his hand when she knew he was with her, so he could take the lead and get them back to the hill. He was better at figuring out where he was going, but he was relying solely on his sense of direction to lead them, because he couldn’t fucking see, and the demons kept flying past. Beth was with him one second and then she was gone, and he hoped another fucking demon hadn’t picked her up, because he’d never be able to see which one it was in all this chaos. 

When he went back, he couldn’t help the quick laugh that escaped him as he helped her up, because she’d just fallen on her face after running into a crater from a lightning bolt. A demon ran at Beth from the right, so Dean knocked her back down onto her hands and knees and took it out with the blade, before reaching down and wrapping his arm around her waist to pick her up and get them moving back into a sprint towards their destination. That’s the way it was the whole 5 miles back to the hill. When they got there, they were able to take a breather, because the place was still protected from demons and apparently from the lightning and snow. 

“Got any idea what this is?” Dean asked as a demon without a meat suit ran past and burst into flames before flickering out when a lightening bolt struck it. 

“Uhhh . . . I might.” Dean looked down at her, and she said apologetically, “I may have accidentally thought, ‘God, I wish Sam would just shut up and fuck off, so we can get the hell out of here and the devil’s trap without being seen . . . I hope he doesn’t let any of these demons out by breaking the trap when he leaves’.” 

That whole being able to call on God thing was pretty fucking awesome. Dean was pretty sure that it’d helped her out a few times, like when she should’ve died after Sam tortured her in that hotel bathroom. He grinned and said, “Hey maybe you could pray for us to go straight to camp.” 

“Uhhh . . . I already tried after this kicked off, and it didn’t work. Maybe it’s because this request is still going? I don’t know how or why it works, just that it does when I need it. We’ve got about 45 miles of this pandemonium, I think.” Wouldn’t be easy, but it was doable. They’d have to work on her being more specific with this thing the next time though. 


	34. Alone

It was almost midnight, and Adam watched as Ivan and Yuri pulled up next to the buses. They were the last team to arrive, because they’d had to travel around Vegas from the southwest and up and around Wyoming in a large arc. None of them knew what kind of an army Sam would have strung out between Vegas and Wyoming, and nobody wanted to chance that they’d get caught up in it. 

Bobby and Rufus got there yesterday after having taken a detour through Colorado to pick up 52 people in a small town. The people from the town had helped bring the kids in a couple of their own diesel trucks so the kids could stay warmer than in the back of a snow plough with a bunch of demons. That was only part of the reason Bobby and Rufus had stopped in River Pass though. Rufus had just wanted to stop and check on the town since he was in the area and didn’t know when he’d be back that way. 

When Adam talked to the minister, who seemed to be the man in charge of the town, the minister explained that they’d survived, because they got some master classes on demons from a woman who helped them with the Horseman of War. Having the Horseman of War in town had meant they were waiting for further signs of the Apocalypse and ready for it when everything went to Hell. They’d been able to keep demon search parties out of their town, so they never got picked up and taken to Sam’s camp or used as meat suits in Crowley’s army. 

The minister figured the end of the world, as they knew it, was all down to Lucifer and the Apocalypse, but Adam explained Lucifer was dead, and the virus was released the day after he died. The man said he wished he knew what happened to the woman who’d given them the classes on demons, since she seemed like she was in the middle of all of this. After he said that, Adam smiled and said that was Beth and that she’d helped set up the camp they were all going to now. Inside, he wished he knew where Beth was too. 

Bobby walked over to him as the kids started to pile out of the back of the trucks and into the last bus, and asked him if he’d heard anything from Dean. Adam shook his head. “No, I talked to Chuck on the Sat phone. He said they’re still alive, and the gates are closed, but he has no idea where they are or when they’ll make it back after Sam banished Cas and Gabriel.” He knew the real reason Bobby was asking, so he added, “We have just enough room in the buses for the kids if they stand or sit on the floor, so there’s not much we can do with the possessed humans after they’ve been exorcised, except put them in the back of the trucks with blankets after we stop the bleeding. We’re going to have to do the exorcisms one-on-one, so we don’t have to try and save 120 gunshot victims all at once. I’ll be over in a few minutes after I give the buses instructions.” 

120 possessed humans out of 180 that had been driving the trucks were what was left, because the rest had been fatally wounded, so the teams’d had to go ahead and kill the demons in those people to make enough room in their trucks for the ones that might make it. 60 were gone, and he was sure more wouldn’t survive the exorcisms, but at least they were being given a fighting chance. 

Adam sent the buses back with all the teams, except for Bobby and Rufus, because he’d need their help. He wasn’t going to do 120 exorcisms or deal with 120 gunshot victims on his own. He’d be out here longer than Dean and Beth if he did that. 

Adam watched the taillights of the buses disappear into the night and sighed in relief. Between what Cas had brought directly back to the camp and the buses heading there now, they’d be bringing 378 new kids back. 200 a week . . . that’s how many kids had been sent out for who knew how long to be fed to monsters in trading posts around the country. 

Adam hoped Dean was right in thinking that since the trading post they found in Michigan hadn’t had any deliveries in 2 weeks, the delivery trucks sent kids to 40 trading posts one week and sent them to another 40 the next week before alternating back to the first trading posts the week after that. He hoped Dean was right about that, because in the morning more trucks were due to leave Sam’s camp, and if they were sent to the trading posts that Dean and the rest of them burnt to the ground, the trucks would have to be sent back to Vegas . . . hopefully they weren’t just redirected to the trading posts the hunters hadn’t been able to hit this week . . . no they wouldn’t be, because Sam’s camp wouldn’t know those posts hadn’t gotten their deliveries until next week. But the ones going out next week would end up at the trading posts they didn’t hit this week. 

It was all a mess, and part of him felt like maybe he should’ve kept the teams out here to go back to Vegas for the trucks leaving next week. Those trading posts were still out there, and it took a week to get to Vegas from the camp in Wisconsin because of the snow, so they wouldn’t be able to make it back to Vegas if they went back to the camp now . . . Maybe those monsters that were supposed to get the deliveries this week would starve off in the meantime or give up on the trading posts if no deliveries had been made this week. 

The only reason Adam didn’t send the teams back to Vegas was because after the delivery trucks leaving Vegas tomorrow came back from the burnt out trading posts, Sam would be onto them. Adam had the feeling that Sam hadn’t caught on to the missing demons from the first week of trading post raids, because Sam’s eyes had probably been on getting Beth, but when Sam got back to his camp and heard half his trading posts had been destroyed, he’d change things up with his deliveries . . . maybe set up some traps to catch whoever was derailing his convoys . . . they couldn’t afford to lose any of the people that had gone to Vegas. The camp needed them to keep doing the supply runs and get back to saving the people starving off closer to home and help with overall camp security as well as go on future missions to Vegas. If any of them were caught or died now, then more lives down the road would be lost . . . the teams that had gone to Vegas were the best of the best from the camp.

There was a time when Adam would’ve loved to see Sam’s reaction to half his empire being annihilated and Beth slipping out of his grasp again, but those days were gone. The kids Cas brought back to the camp and the ones here on the buses were all dirty, underfed and underclothed . . . they looked shellshocked . . . even the ones who’d been on the buses and safe for the last 2 weeks. Most of these kids weren’t as resilient as the ones Dean and Beth brought back from Michigan. The teenagers they’d found were, but there weren’t many of them . . . there’d been a lot of delivery trucks that were full of kids 11-years old and under. 

The thought of Sam now raised in Adam feelings of disgust, anger, and fear in equal parts. He felt no familial relationship to him whatsoever. To him, Sam was just another monster that needed to be put down. If he was completely honest with himself, he was afraid of what Sam would do to the other prisoners that were still in the camp when he came back to Vegas as pissed off as Adam thought he would be. The thought of riling Sam up now held no amusement for him for that reason.

Walking over to where the possessed people were, Adam spotted Bobby. “We all set up?” 

Bobby gave him a side-glance from under the bill of his hat. “Yeah . . . we’re set up, but you ain’t gonna like this.” _Did one get away?_

Rufus walked up behind Bobby and gave him a look of frustration. “Oh for God’s sake, Bobby. Just tell the boy they know where the camp is, and we’re gonna have to kill ‘em. It’s a good thing you weren’t a damn doctor, cuz you would’ve been shit at handin’ out a terminal diagnosis.” Bobby’d been right. Adam didn’t like it, but he was prepared to keep the camp and all the kids they’d saved safe whatever the cost. Everyone thought he was too touchy or possibly even weak on this subject, but he’d get the job done if he had to do it. _‘Still,’ _he thought looking out at the mass of faces looking at him with black eyes, _‘there are a lot of people about to die.’_ __

__It’d been wishful thinking to think that this would work. The demons probably overheard someone in the teams say where the camp was or read their minds on it or something. He wasn’t really surprised . . . He’d deal with the loss of life after the job was done,the same way he always did, by being left alone to think about it for awhile. He could do that on the drive back to camp, because by the time he got back, he’d have to take back over on running things for Jody again._ _

__At least he didn’t feel like he was killing his mom or the others were killing his mom when it happened now. Bobby was watching him, so Adam snorted. “You sure you’re up for it? 120 is a lot to get through without an arm cramping up when you’re old.”_ _

__Bobby rolled his eyes. “You’ve been spendin’ too much time with Dean. That cockiness don’t do you no favors.” Rufus chuckled and indicated that he’d take the demon-killing blade first._ _

__Pulling up to the gates, Adam actually felt like he was coming home. Killing those demons had been more than trying, but he’d gotten through it, and seeing his home and the people walking around inside the gates, he knew they’d done the right thing. The first thing he did after passing all the security checks was do a quick review of the wall. After the last two runs to get more blocks, they had it up to 4 feet high around all 4 sides now. 6 more feet, and they should be all right. He noticed they’d slacked off on clearing the snow out of the trench again._ _

__If they wanted the wall to be 16 feet from the top of the wall to the bottom of the trench outside the wall until they could get it the whole 22 feet, then the fucking snow had to go. He hadn’t realized it was becoming a problem until he went chasing after Beth in the woods the day she left, but now he knew it was something a couple of the wall crew, led by Randy, had been slacking on, and it was quickly becoming one of his pet peeves. He was going to put Will on the snow detail this second, because that guy was the only consistently hard worker out of the lot, and the only one Adam trusted to get the job done. Randy was going back on the wall full-time. He was clearly using the snow detail as a way to hide from having to do any actual work._ _

__Looking around at all the new kids, Adam figured they needed more supplies, so tomorrow he’d send Pamela and Stephen out to get more warm clothes and food for all the new people, and he’d let Bobby and Rufus recover another day before he sent them out for more cement blocks. There were enough blocks now to start adding another foot along the western wall, but to keep things going, it was better to re-stock before they ran out, and Bobby and Rufus seemed to be able to find all the best stashes of cinder blocks._ _

__Adam could’ve gone to check the outposts and to the general store with Maeve to see what else they needed or even to the greenhouses to check for himself how things were going in there the way Dean would have, but to be honest, he’d rather go see Carrie after the time he’d spent out there killing 40 people, who did nothing wrong, except get possessed. He liked spending time with her, and she should be out training Jasper right about now, using one of Dean’s ratty old shirts, and watching that always cheered Adam up a bit. Then he’d go get the reports from Jody to save himself time on the rest._ _

__When they came back in after Jasper’s training, it was around dinnertime, and Adam felt a million times better. He sat across from Jody and let her fill him in on the ins and outs of rhw things that he’d missed in the last week. Not much out of the ordinary happened. Carl and Rob had asked for help from the outposts to finish off a couple more cabins when they found out the number of kids expected, and in addition to those cabins, they’d been working on a school in their spare time to surprise Beth with when she got back. They’d loved her ever since she gave them the position as joint-head carpenters of the camp._ _

__Speaking of Beth, now that the reports from Jody were done, Adam wanted to go find Chuck and see how she and Dean were. He hadn’t seen Chuck once, since he’d been back. It took Adam awhile to find him, and when Chuck saw him, he took off walking the other way, like he didn’t see him at all. _What went wrong now?_ _ _

__Chuck had a few different tells for when something happened with Dean or Beth. If there wasn’t anything wrong, Chuck was relaxed and nonchalant. If it were an action/danger thing that was going to happen, and he knew they’d be all right, Chuck would tell you straight up about it, but not go into details in case it made you worry. If it were a sex thing, then he’d say nothing happened and wouldn’t make eye contact. Chuck only ever ran away and hid when he didn’t want to tell him something, like when his vision cut off in the middle of Beth fighting her way to the 4th gate of Hell, because it could mean something bad._ _

__When Adam finally found Chuck again, he was standing alone outside, like he was waiting for him and tired of running. “Okay, Chuck. Lay it on me.” Chuck looked away and took a deep breath before looking down and Adam didn’t hear much more than the few words that blocked out everything else, “I saw Dean die,” and maybe a few more phrases that sounded like, “ . . . not sure about Beth . . . we shouldn’t say anything . . . next vision . . . if I get my next vision.” Adam turned around feeling numb and grabbed a bottle of whiskey to go drink alone out in the fortress of solitude, because that’s where he felt like he was closest to them. Maybe they’d get out of this. He’d have to wait and see. The waiting was the hard part._ _


	35. Death's Cold Hand

It took what felt like forever to fight our way out of the Wyoming devil’s trap in the blinding snow, but we did it eventually. It took us a couple days of running, walking, and fighting non-stop. We couldn’t stop. We had nowhere to sleep where demons and hellhounds weren’t flying out of the snow towards us. Sometimes it was on purpose, and sometimes it was just because they were fleeing the next lightning bolt and we were in their way. 

By the end of it, Dean was just as proficient at killing hellhounds as he was at killing the demons. I guess there’s nothing like confronting things that drug you to Hell and killing them repeatedly to make you less afraid of them . . . plus it was like he was getting some payback, which is always cathartic. 

The second we stepped over the railroad tracks, the wind inside the devil’s trap behind us stopped and the snow fell back to earth. _Guess I did ask for us to get out of the trap without being seen._ The lightning kept going. Part of my wish, that I never intended as a prayer or anything else other than for me to bitch about Sam in my head, was that Sam wouldn’t let the demons out by breaking the devil’s trap. God must’ve taken that to mean that if there were no demons, Sam couldn’t let any out. There weren’t a whole lot of them left. Out of millions, there were maybe ten thousand. 

Dean must’ve thought Sam was tracking us, because he wouldn’t let us stop after we got out of the devil’s trap, even though we were both beyond exhausted. He was on high alert, and who wouldn’t be after days of being in a never ending battle for your life, but eventually we had to stop, because I couldn’t keep going with the snow being as high as it was and with as tired as I felt. 

We dug out a burrow in the snow about 10 miles from the devil’s trap to use as our camp for the night. Dean took the first watch, so I leaned up against him to stay warm and slept. Unfortunately, he didn’t wake me up to take the next watch. He hadn’t thought 3 hours was long enough, so he let me sleep until the morning, and then he made us keep going without him getting any sleep at all. 

The further north we went, the harder it was to move, because the snow was just too high. Despite it being a pain in the ass to wade through, at least the snow kept falling, because between that and the slight wind that accompanied it, our tracks were filling in behind us. If Sam really was tracking us, hopefully it’d be harder for him to do, and we could slow down soon.

Long after it was dark the next day, we stopped when we found a group of trees to tie ourselves into for the night. I think Dean would’ve kept going if it weren’t for a minor incident. The snow that was already chest high on me fell on top of my head when I stepped into a ditch, and I got stuck. Dean wasn’t functioning on all cylinders with his lack of sleep, so when he turned around and only saw snow and the night sky above, but not me . . . he started to panic. I could hear it in his voice when he yelled my name. _Stick your hand up. Maybe he’ll see it._ He didn’t see it until I waved it around and the movement caught his eye. That’s when he calmed down and came back to help pull me out without letting on that he’d been flipping out, but we found somewhere to sleep pretty soon after that. 

That night I made sure he slept first, and I was going to let him sleep until morning even though he told me not to, but he woke up after about 4 hours on his own. He looked better. He was less pale, but he still had bags under his eyes. He couldn’t keep this up the whole way back to camp. We needed to find a place indoors, so we could get warm, find some more food, maybe find something to drive, and get a decent amount of sleep. 

And as luck would have it, that’s what we found the next evening when we stumbled upon a ranch . . . The snow was up around the sides of the house, so it hadn’t been occupied in awhile by humans or monsters. We broke one of the windows in the back to gain entry. It wasn’t bad actually. It was cold obviously, and it’s not like there was a fireplace in it, so it must’ve had central heating, but it was out of the snow and wind, and it had blankets. It even had some tins of spaghettio’s that we could eat, even if we couldn’t heat them up. 

I made sure he slept first that night too and let him sleep the whole night. He looked more like my Dean and less like a zombie Dean when he woke up the next morning. We talked more when he woke up than we had since before we had to fight our way out of 50 miles of demons. We may have been talking, but we were both still on edge and attentive to our surroundings. We couldn’t afford to shut it off, and to be honest, when you’re on all the time like that, you find it difficult to relax even when you can, but it’s not like we took it out on one another or anything. We just had half of our attention on what the other was saying, and half of it outside the house. 

I found some tins of other things to eat for breakfast and more to bring with us, but then I said I was going to sleep, and we could leave again in the evening if he wanted . . . or the next day even. I knew saying the next day was pushing it before I even said it, but it couldn’t hurt to try, because who knew when we’d find the next place? 

We left that night, and things were pretty good now that we were both well rested. “So, I noticed you aren’t wearing your watch. If it got broken . . . I can try to fix it the next place we stop,” Dean said after we’d been tredging along for a while. 

I took a deep breath and looked at the wrist my watch used to be on before I shook my head. “I don’t have it anymore. I had to sacrifice a prized possession at the first gate, so I picked my favorite thing and dropped it into Hell before I said the incantation. Gabriel said it was the easiest gate to get to and the hardest gate to close.” 

“Favorite thing? Now see, I would’ve thought that’d be your angel blade.” I am very calculated on things and keeping my angel blade by sacrificing my watch might seem like it was a tactical decision, because I did need my blade for the other gates, but that’s not why I’d gotten rid of the watch. 

“No, my angel blade is my favorite thing now that the watch is gone. My angel blade and I have been through a lot together. It’s reliable and unique. It’s more like a short sword than an angel blade, but if I’d sacrificed it at the first gate, I probably could’ve had Gabriel get me another one . . . no object means more to me than that watch did . . . it made me feel calm in a way my angel blade doesn’t . . . besides you didn’t give me the angel blade.” He still didn’t know I knew he’d gotten me that. Adam had gotten me the spirit amulet, and Dean got me the watch with Cas’s help on the Enochian on the wristband. 

Dean ducked his head before he said, “I don’t know . . . Cas custom made that angel blade for you . . . you won’t find another one like it. I bet we could find you another watch.” _Cas made my angel blade? Why didn’t I know that? That makes me like it even more, but it doesn’t change what that watch meant to me._

Dean knew me talking about the watch was upsetting me, so he said we’d find a way to get me another one. He always said that if I lost something, like my first aid kit that I’d spent years perfecting. “You can try. It’s the people who give them to me and the memories of events that I associate with objects that makes them important to me, so if it came from you, I’d say the new watch would have a good start on becoming my favorite thing . . . especially if you found a broken one that was just like it and fixed it . . . have to make the new watch work for it now that I know Cas made my angel blade.” I picked that moment to trip over a freaking tire lying out in the middle of nowhere. 

Dean laughed and then helped me get back on my feet. “Since we’re on favorites . . . who’s your favorite hunting partner? Guessing we have to add Gabriel to the list now too, but keep in mind Adam ratted you out on the rugaru.” He and Adam had this on going thing between the two of them on who my favorite was. I never told them. What fun would that be? 

“Still undecided . . . you can definitely add Gabriel to the list. Camping with him is amazing . . . having someone make you whatever you want is pretty special, and you saw what happened when he went all nuclear . . . pretty hard to beat.” 

Now it was his turn to argue his points. “Yeah, but you’ve got the same problem you have with Cas because of the angel banishing sigil.” He always threw that one out there for Cas even though this was the first time it’d actually been a problem. I’d give him pros for the other candidates and the cons for him, and he’d give cons for the rest of them and argue the cons against himself, but I’ve gotta say his cons didn’t hold anymore. He hadn’t gotten mad at me once for things I did while closing the last gate or for anything that happened in our escape . . . We’d listened to each other and did what the other one said the entire way. When you’re fighting non-stop, you don’t have time to argue or question the other one. We were a good team . . . finally. 

We walked on through the rest of the night and through the next day too. We talked more to pass the time but still kept our attention on our surroundings. He thought it was funny that Gabriel had used Raphael’s blade for the halo points. We were pretty sure that Raphael was behind what happened to me in Heaven, so that made it even better. Hopefully, Raphael didn’t end up with Lucifer’s blade now that it was in circulation again. 

I told Dean I remembered that Heaven has a vault with a bunch of weapons, like the staff of Moses. It cheered him up a lot. He wanted to know what other weapons I remembered. I told him what I could. He thought it meant that if we could get to some of them, we’d had a shot if and when we had to start dealing with the angels, and he might’ve mentioned something about it finally being our big heist. He wanted to ask Cas about the vault when Cas came back from wherever he’d been sent. 

We walked a good bit into the next night too. We finally found something that made us stop a couple of hours before the sun came up. What made it suspicious was the fact that it was a cabin in the middle of nowhere with candles in the windows and smoke coming out of the chimney. When I saw it, my shoulders slumped.

As more time had passed, most of the survivors we found near where we lived tried to move close enough to small towns to be near stores if they needed supplies but far enough away from the towns to not draw unwanted attention. Maybe whoever was in this cabin would have a vehicle we could use if they came with us, but for the most part, nothing good ever seemed to come from places like this that were up and running just fine on their own in the middle of nowhere. Best-case scenario . . . the people occupying that house were survivalists, but if they were survivalists, they’d probably shoot at us at some point, which didn’t exactly seem very appealing. 

The snow was cleared from around the house, which made for easier access to the windows, but once again I was too short to look through the window we approached, so Dean had to do it. He looked for a good 10 seconds or so, and when he got back down to my level, did not look happy. “Whatever it is . . . it’s not human.” 

“Are we at a trading post?” 

I got a shake of his head as a response followed by, “No, but I’d say it’s been to one recently.” 

_Ummm . . . so there’s one of whatever it is, and it obviously has a kid with it. This would be so much easier if I wasn’t playing 20 questions._ “Can you describe it?” 

“Looks like a woman with sharp teeth. Just ate something out of a kid it’s keeping alive on the table. Don’t know what it ate just that it did, and it did it in front of him.” Dean stepped to the side of the window, so he could lean his head back against the side of the cabin, took a deep breath, and added, “Doesn’t matter . . . we’ve gotta go kill it, and see if we can get the kid out of there.” 

“Okay, but it’d help if we knew how to kill it. Pick me up, so I can see it.” He sighed and bent down to give me a leg up, and looking through the window, I saw the woman. She looked fairly harmless, except for the fact that there was a kid strapped to the table. He was about 14 or 15. He wasn’t going to make it. I could tell that much from where I was. The monster had been at this for a while . . . the boy looked so weak he couldn’t even lift his head or hands . . . or maybe he couldn’t struggle, because of something she did, like give him a paralytic? 

Dean put me down, and I thought about it for a couple of seconds. “I think it’s an aswang. It prefers kids, paralyzes them, and keeps them alive, so it can sucks out organs over a prolonged period of time. They’re super strong and seem kind of shy when they’re in their human form but have bloodshot eyes. That’s the form I just saw . . . I’m not entirely sure how to kill one, but I guess angel blade trumps just about anything else we’ve got at the moment.” 

He nodded, like he already thought that the angel blade was the way to go and said, “Yeah, you head for the back and catch it if it tries to leave. I’ll kick in the front door.” _Nice try._

“I’ll go to the back, but I’m not waiting for it to leave to go in. A two pronged attack should work.” Before he could protest, I added with a smile, “if you want to stay at the top of the list of favorites for now, I’d go with it.” 

He snorted silently and said, “You’re not supposed to use it to blackmail us into doing whatever you want, but all right. We’ll go with that. Just wait for my cue.” He really had gotten so much better at trusting me to handle myself.

_Who knew Aswang’s felt the need to lock doors?_ Apparently this one did, and it was a sturdy door. By the time I got in there, Dean was already fighting with her and kicked her into a wall before he got a good swing in to take her head. He took a couple of deep breaths as the adrenaline started to wear off and gave me a quick grin with a slight shrug, as if to say ‘you should’ve been faster if you wanted to get a piece of her.’ 

When we got over to the kid, things became more somber. A couple of tears rolled down his face when he saw us step into his vision. I don’t know how she did it . . . if it was some sort of a venom or concoction she whipped up, but a quick examination of the boy let me know just about the only thing he had left in his torso were his lungs, heart and a kidney. Everything else was gone. He should’ve died or bled out a long time before we got there. There’s no way he’d survive once whatever she gave him wore off. 

I took off my coat to cover him, so he didn’t have to see what his body looked like anymore. Dean didn’t say anything, but he was beside me while I held the boys hand and talked to him. I was trying to decide whether or not it’d be better to kill the kid now or wait for him to die naturally when whatever was keeping him alive wore off . . . it’d buy the teenager a bit more life, but what kind of life would it be and how long would it take for the stuff to wear off? 

“Can you talk? If you can’t, blink once for ‘no’ and twice for ‘yes.’” _One blink. How am I going to find out his name?_ “You were in Las Vegas?” 

_Yes._

“We’ve been saving kids from there, the ones sent out on the trucks. Did you have younger kids you were taking care of the way Tyrone and Jenna do?” He glanced at me when I said their names, like he knew who they were, so I said, “We saved them and all three of their kids from some vampires at a trading post a month ago. The guy standing next to me wiped out half the trading posts in the last couple of weeks. That’s 40 that he burnt to the ground after killing every last monster at them. He saved the kids going to those trading posts too. The kids he saved are being fed and clothed and are going to school and learning how to protect themselves from monsters now, and we’re going to get the rest. That’s why I asked if you had any kids that you were looking after that might’ve got left behind there. I wanted to let you know that –“ I stopped, because he was crying a lot more now before he blinked ‘yes’ several times. 

“There were 6 left behind?” 

_Yes._

“When we get back home, do you want me to have Ty and Jenna look after them when they –“ 

_Yes._

“Okay, I can do that. Can’t imagine there are too many guys your age with black hair and blue eyes. I’m sure they’ll know –“ 

I stopped because he started blinking, and Dean figured out he was trying to let us know his name, because he said, “5 letters?” 

_Yes._

He blinked 3 times, and Dean said, “C . . . 5 letters, and starts with C?” 

_Yes._

“Chris?” 

No. 

“Corey?” 

Yes. 

I leaned forward and tenderly wiped the hair off his forehead while I said, “It’s nice to meet you, Corey. Thank you for taking care of the kids in Vegas. You guys are all so strong and brave . . . I bet you had a weapon of some kind to keep them safe, right? Ty had a shiv, but he knows how to use the crossbow, because his grandpa taught him, so he tried making one a few times . . . Jenna had a knife she found.” 

_Yes._ Now he knows for sure that we know Ty and Jenna. 

I saw Corey make peace with things right then and there now that he knew there was a good chance his kids would be looked after by Ty and Jenna. “Are you in pain, or –“ 

_Yes._

“So, whatever she gave you just keeps you from moving . . . You can still feel everything?” 

_Yes._

“Is it getting worse?” 

_No._

“Hurts all time?” 

_Yes._

“I’m sorry this happened to you. You’re a good kid. I can tell. I have kind of a 6th sense about these kinds of things. Is there anything I can do for you?” 

_Yes._ I knew by the look on his face what it was. 

“You want me to end it?” 

_Yes._

2 seconds later, I was on the floor after Dean knocked me down. I looked up in time to see the Aswang’s body jump up behind where I’d been standing and stop Dean from stabbing it by grabbing his wrist in a death grip. Before I could get back on my feet, the Aswang’s strength overpowered Dean, and just as I swung down with my angel blade to cut one of it’s hands off, it pushed Dean’s angel blade through him. I watched him fall to his knees holding his stomach, and everything slowed down after that. 

Dean looked down as the blood started to pump out of him. The Aswang’s detached hand fell to the ground in front of him, and then Dean gritted out, “Kill it,” before he started to slump to the side. 

I sidestepped to get behind the Aswang and hacked its other arm all the way off at the shoulder before swiping its legs out from under it. It landed on it’s back and wasn’t able to get back up without arms before I pounced on it’s torso, and then I just started stabbing it in the heart . . . repeatedly. I may have lost it a bit. By the time I was done with it, it didn’t have a heart anymore. It had a puddle of minced up goo in place of a heart. Then I moved on to do the same to its head before I pulled what remained of it outside and set it on fire. To say that what I did to it was overkill is an understatement, because it’d stopped moving the first time I stabbed it in the heart.

When I got back inside, Dean was lying on his side under the table, but he wouldn’t let me take care of him. He told me to take care of Corey first. I took a deep breath and nodded. If Dean went down, then I would, and Corey would die in here on his own, so I did it. I tried to be as gentle as I could and stayed with Corey while he died, which after what I did to him, didn’t take long, even with her concoction that had been keeping him alive. 

Then I dropped down onto my hands and knees to have a look at Dean. He’d pulled the angel blade out, so the blood was already pooling on the ground around him. It was black. _God . . . not the liver. I can’t lose him._ I felt like I couldn’t breathe, but tried to hide how bad it was from Dean. I couldn’t do anything for him, but I still kept trying to stop the bleeding. He eventually made me stop. By that point, I couldn’t keep the tears away. 

“If it’d been you, then we’d both go down . . . this way . . . you’ll probably wake up in a few days.” He was trying to be reassuring, and that’s what made me lose it. 

“No, no, no . . . Dean, don’t leave me here. I need you. I can’t –“

He grabbed my hand but couldn’t say anything, because he was shutting down. He looked like he felt guilty and was trying to say he was sorry, and I couldn’t have that, so I tried to calm down even though I couldn’t stop crying. “No, you don’t have to be sorry. I was being selfish. I just don’t want to lose you. I won’t let the last thing you feel be guilt, so don’t . . . I’ll be okay.” I didn’t know what else to do. He seemed to have made peace with it when I said that, so I curled up next to him, laid my head on his chest and waited there with him until it was over.


	36. Narrow Escape

Dean found himself standing in an open field with some glass bottles laid out about 25 yards in front of him. His Dad explained how to aim and pull the trigger before stepping back and letting Dean have his chance. Dean took aim and fired, breaking the bottle in front of him with his first shot. He looked at his Dad, and his Dad reluctantly gave him a nod of approval. “Let’s see if that was beginner’s luck.” 

He felt the pressure of getting it right again this time so he took his time aiming and hit all of the rest of the bottles on the first try too. This time when he looked at his Dad . . . his Dad looked proud of him. He was good at this. He liked it, and it was something his Dad wanted him to be good at. Dean also remembered when this happened. He’d been 6 or 7. It was the first time his Dad took him out shooting. 

He watched as his Dad hurried along to replace the broken bottles with new ones, so they could see how many Dean could hit before he missed one. His Dad was in a better mood than he’d seen in a long time, but he felt like he couldn’t stick around. He needed to be somewhere else. He looked down at the gun in his hand, and when he looked up again, his Dad was gone, and he was walking through the trees with . . . a paintball gun? He heard Adam shout, “I’m out!” somewhere to his right. 

Adam sounded pissed, but Beth wasn’t making any wisecracks about it, so she must still be in her hiding spot. Dean worked his way around in a wide radius through the trees until he got roughly where he’d heard Adam yell. When he saw Beth’s coat laying on the ground with bootprints on it in Adam’s size, he snorted when he realized that Beth must’ve put it up there as a diversion, and Adam had fallen for it. Adam had a long way to go if he really wanted to be a hunter. 

Dean saw movement out of the corner of his eyes, swung the gun in that direction and pulled the trigger twice, just before he went to jump for cover, but she tagged him before he got there. “Sonofabitch,” that stung, and he’d missed. She looked around the side of the tree she was in to see what he would do. She knew it was game on now that he knew where she was. _Zero? That’s bullshit._ If she’s the one who came up with this stupid game, then she should get to feel what it was like to get shot. She shot him one more time, and then finally he got a shot on her arm while she tried to get down. 

This was closer to where he needed to be, but it still wasn’t quite right. She fell out of the tree, and he took a calculated aim, because he didn’t want to hurt her where Jo shot her, but he didn’t pull the trigger. Instead, he got flashes of her kneeling above him scared with tears streaming down her face. When the flashes ended, he looked around the cabin, and she was gone. 

_I’m dead . . . Thought the last time Zachariah pulled some strings to get me up here . . . Unless Beth died when I did and pulled me up here with her? That’s gotta be it. I have to find her before Raphael does._

The last time he was here, he had to follow the road. That road seemed to connect everything, and he’d eventually get behind the scenes if he followed it . . . maybe? He followed the road out away from the cabin, and ended up back at the July 4th memory with Sam. That was in the past. He needed to find out where Beth was now. He could come back to this when he knew she was okay.

After passing by a lifetime of good memories, he eventually found himself in the roadhouse when Ash found him. From the looks of things, Ash had kept on looking and found Ellen and Jo. Jo ran up to Dean and gave him a big hug. “I’m sorry about shooting Beth, Dean.” Yeah, there was a time when he was pissed about that, even when he tried not to be, because Jo was dead, but it was old news now. 

“She got out of it okay. Listen, you guys haven’t seen her up here have you?” 

Ellen shared a look with Jo and indicated for Dean to sit, while she poured them all a drink. “Dean, she’s still down there.” He didn’t know how that made him feel. Most of him was relieved that she made it, but at the same time, he didn’t really want to be up here without her. If she wasn’t here, he could maybe get a jump on getting rid of Raphael and his angels. When her time finally came, it’d be safe for her, and they could retire together. As long as he could keep an eye on her, he could maybe be all right with this if he knew she’d be safe when she got here. 

His attention shifted to Jo when she said, “We’ve been keeping an eye on things down there . . . in Las Vegas . . . and the devil’s trap. That amount of evil in one place grabs your attention even if you’re up here.” _What’s with the look she just shot Ellen?_ Jo cleared her throat nervously and said, “We’re still learning how it all works . . . being able to see down there. I’m not exactly happy with how things have gone with Sam, especially when he claims to be doing it in my name.” _Yeah, I get that. Said he was doing it for me too. What isn’t she saying?_

Ash came up and said, “Drink up, Dean. Won’t have time to do it for much longer. Looks like your ex is leadin’ Sam straight for Beth.” 

Dean looked at Ellen for an explanation. “Seems something’s been hidin’ you and Beth from prying eyes up here for a while now. Started right around the time that virus was released. Don’t know where your camp is either . . . still don’t. Don’t know why . . . but that’s besides the point. When you died a day or so ago . . . whatever it is you two have got goin’ on . . . it broke, and now we can see her. It’s not lookin’ so good.” 

_A day or so ago?_ It felt a lot longer than that with all the memories he’d had to pass on that road that lead here. Dean looked at Ellen and said in a rush, “Well, we’ll just stop Rachel, and Beth’ll be fine,” but Ellen shook her head.

“It’s already done, Dean. Michael found out what Rachel was doin’ and took her back to her Heaven to be guarded again, but not before she gave Sam Beth’s coordinates.” _What the fuck good is it guarding that bitch now?_

“Yeah, I’m sorry I said Beth was a downgraded version of Rachel too. It shouldn’t have been one of the last things I said to her.” _What? Stop confessing all your sins to me, Jo._

Dean got up from the bar and looked at these people he thought he knew. “How can you all just sit here and be fine with this? What the hell happened to you? Ash, you’ve gotta send me to the garden.” 

Ellen was the first one to speak up. “Look, Dean, I know it ain’t easy, but this is it. You’re where you’re stayin’ this time.” _Like hell I am._

They’d been up here so long they’d forgotten what it was like to actually fight. Dean stalked over to Ash, pointed at his computer, and ordered him to send him to the garden. Ash looked at Ellen and shook his head with a sigh, but typed away on his keyboard, and Dean found himself in the garden looking at Joshua.

“Send me back. Sam’s –“ 

“We are aware of the situation. If it is meant to be it will be.” _Meant to be?_

“You told Beth I’m supposed to get that info on the tablets. I haven’t gotten it yet. You can’t keep me here when that hasn’t happened!” 

“And if you got that information? What would you be able to do with it that Beth cannot?” _Thought you were supposed to be on our side._

“She can’t do it alone. I have to be there. You’re the one who told her that she wasn’t supposed to do this alone.” 

Dean stopped when he heard his Mom behind him. “Dean, you’ve fought hard, but it’s time for you to rest.” 

When Dean turned around, she was standing there with his Dad. It made him pause. It’s something he’d wanted for as long as he could remember, but he wouldn’t sell Beth out like that. “Mom, if I don’t go back down there, you’ll be gone . . . Dad will. I have a job to do, and I haven’t finished it yet.” It was harder for him to say than he’d thought it’d be when he started. Looking at his Mom now, he didn’t want to leave her again . . . but at least he knew she was up here. He hadn’t been sure the last time. Dean turned to look at Joshua and said, “If Sam gets ahold of Beth, and she breaks . . . all of this will be gone . . . you will be gone . . . you have to send me back to keep that from happening. Why doesn’t anyone else up here get that?” 

“They get it, Dean. They just don’t think you’ll do what it takes to get the job done.” 

Dean turned to look back at his Dad. “They think that, or God does? Because I’m pretty sure his orders were for me to be given the chance to make the right decision.” Dean looked over his shoulder at Joshua, and Joshua didn’t say anything this time. “That’s it, isn’t it? Let me guess. Michael dressed you down when he got back up here and found out you kept the Beth thing from him. This is Michael making the decision, not God. God’s last orders on it were what?” 

Joshua looked down with a sigh. “That we were to see free will at its finest in your hands.” _Is that a crack in the armor?_

“So, you’re going to go against God’s orders, because you haven’t heard from him in awhile?” 

“Those were God’s orders according to Beth. She is the one who spoke directly to God for her negotiations. I merely arranged for their meeting, and she told me what God said afterwards.” 

Dean shook his head. “God is the reason we got out of that Devil’s trap in Wyoming a few days ago, so he must not think she got the wrong memo.” 

Joshua stepped back and sat on a bench near a tree. He put some serious thought into it before turning his head to look at a yellow rosebush under the tree and then sighed. “I will let you return, but this is your last chance, and you haven’t got much time before Sam arrives.” Dean gave him a small nod to let him know he’d get it right this time before turning back to his Mom. 

She gave him a hug and said, “Try your hardest, and I’ll be proud of you however things turn out.” 

Dean didn’t have much of a chance to soak up how that made him feel, because the next thing he knew he was waking up next to Beth. She was caked in his blood from however long ago it was that he died. He felt for her pulse, because even though he knew she hadn’t been up there with him, she didn’t look like she was alive. She had no color to her face, and she felt cold. Her pulse was there . . . barely. They were still under the table, so he pushed her over to get out from under it. Corey was still on the table, but Dean couldn’t look at him for long. He just couldn’t. That kid, like all the others, had gotten to him. 

He had no idea where Sam was, and that was the the next thing he needed to know, so he grabbed the binoculars out of his bag and headed up to the top floor to see what kind of time he was dealing with here. He didn’t see anything, so Sam might be close, but he wasn’t that close. _I have time._ Dean ran back down the stairs and out the back door before pausing at the burnt pile of ashes that lay outside. _Beth really made a mess of that bitch. Guess she wanted to make sure it was dead. Worked. Hadn’t come back yet._

He ran out a ways to find a good vantage point to the north. He and Beth couldn’t keep heading this way. The snow was slowing them down too much, and Sam might figure they were headin’ towards their camp. They had to change it up. 

After that, Dean rushed around the inside of the house finding things he needed, and then moved back outside to put everything together. He had one shot at this, and he couldn’t afford for any of it not to work. When he had all the charges set, he went to the southeast corner of the property, dug out the snow and packed the sides to make a small enclosure that blocked the wind. Sam’d have to be coming from the southwest, the wind was coming from the northwest, so she couldn’t be downwind of those weredemons if any were still left. 

When he was ready, Dean ran in, changed Beth’s clothes, so she didn’t have the extra scent of his blood on her, and paused. _What about her coat?_ It was safer for her if she wasn’t wearing Corey’s blood either. Blood always stood out to monsters, and it felt right to leave Corey covered out of respect, but she needed a coat. _I’ve got gloves. I’m good._ He wrapped her up in his coat and grabbed a thick blanket from a cupboard upstairs to wrap her in before picking her up and carrying her outside to the foxhole he’d made. 

Hopefully, the blanket would help cover her scent some and keep her warm. He didn’t want her to die out here because of the cold with as weak as she looked . . . maybe this was a bad idea. No, it was the only way. Dean knelt down next to her in the hole, gently placed his hands on either side of her head and said, “I’ll be back. I’m gonna get us out of this,” before he kissed her forehead, made sure she was wrapped up as tight as she could be, scrambled out of the foxhole, covered it some, so it didn’t look like it was there, and took off towards the house, covering his tracks as he went, so nothing could see he’d been out that way. It was still snowing and the wind had picked up again, so it shouldn’t take long for it to look like nothing was out of place. 

He burst in through the front door, got to the top floor, and waited until he saw the first of Sam’s demons come over the horizon. Didn’t take more than 10 minutes. As soon as he saw them, he sprinted back downstairs, grabbed Beth’s clothes that had been soaked in his blood and both their bags, ran out of the house, and dropped a lit matchbook behind him on the trail of accelerant he’d made. 

He put the bloody clothes in the northwest corner of the property and then got into position in the northeast after covering his tracks in the snow to get both places. Now those weredemon bitches wouldn’t know which place he was, just that he was north of them, or maybe that he and Beth were to the northwest. That’s what he needed them to think if she was actually to the southeast. 

Dean threw on the hellhound glasses in case he needed them and waited. It was starting to get dark, and that might work to his advantage, except the snow always made everything brighter at night. He looked over at where Beth was as the first troops approached the cabin. Some of them paused, but none of them went in her direction . . . now he kinda hated bein’ so far away from her if this went wrong. 

There weren’t as many demons as he was expecting . . . but then Sam had lost who knew how many in the devil’s trap and had left more in Vegas to run it while he was gone. Still, there were a couple hundred demons and hellhounds . . . meh that was nothing compared to what he’d seen in that devil’s trap surrounding the gate. 

Dean saw Sam walk around from the far side of the now inflamed cabin. Sam stopped at the pile of Aswang ashes. Dean had left a message using the accelerant. It said one word. _Sammy._ Dean watched through the scope while Sam shook his head and looked up to gaze around the surrounding area. Sam knew Dean was alive, and that he was being watched. 

Sam called up one of the demons near him and gave some orders before the demon moved among the ranks, brought up some weredemons with him, and sent them to search the area. _Nearly time._ Dean took one last good look at the path he’d have to take to get back to Beth before he turned his full concentration onto what was going on in front of him. 

The weredemons were fanning out along the North. _Right direction. Come on, come on, come on._ There was almost equal interest from the weredemons on where Dean was and where Beth’s bloody clothes were . . . maybe a little more interest in her clothes. As the weredemons on his side got to within 10 feet of him, Dean ducked behind the bank covered in snow and blew the first charges, sending silver shrapnel from silver ammo through the weredemons. A couple of the weredemons froze in position. _Not what I was expecting._ The devil’s trap must’ve held on a couple of the bullets. What Dean had really wanted to happen did when the weredemons howled in pain before dropping to their knees. _Yeah, you bitches in the back should be worried._

Dean waited 10 seconds and blew the second charges that surrounded the cabin in a smaller radius. Iron and salt exploded out of their casings and into the demons closer to Sam. Now there was true chaos among Sam’s demons. Sam tried to get the ones left standing under control, but they were too busy running in different directions or wailing on the ground, and Dean did something he never thought he’d do. Take aim at Sam.

 _I’ve gotta do it._ Dean exhaled, while saying, “Sorry, Sammy,” and pulled the trigger. The bullet went through Sam’s right wrist. _Should give him somethin’ else to think about . . . Might slow him down on the torturing when he gets back to Vegas too._

Sam doubled over holding his hand close to his body. His face showed a mixture of anger, pain, and shock before Dean blew a third charge closer to the cabin that threw Sam forward and sent the demons near Sam running away in fear as salt came blasting out at them. While that was happening, Dean slung the bags over his shoulder and kept his rifle at the ready while he took off at a crouching sprint behind the snow line to get back to Beth. When he got to her, he blew another charge, and heard more shrieks come from the other side of the house. One more charge, and then they were getting the hell out of there.

The hellhounds were scattering and looked as wild as the demons did. He needed to get away from them before Sam got them back under control. They were better at tracking than weredemons. He’d wondered why they hadn’t been let loose to find Beth yet. They could track a person down for a contract anywhere in the world. Maybe his connection to Beth blocked them the way it did the people in Heaven, or maybe Gabriel did something to him and Beth without them knowing, like an angel spell or something? 

He thought that Gabriel was probably the reason the camp hadn’t seen more trouble than it had, because Beth had said the archangel had been around a lot without them knowing, like a guardian angel, and Gabriel was so good at hiding that not even Cas knew he was around. Dean wasn’t gonna tell the people in Heaven that when he was up there though. It’d probably come back to bite him in the ass if he did. Whatever kept he and Beth hidden, he hoped it kicked back in now that he was back. 

He picked Beth up and slung her over his shoulder in a firefighter’s carry before he took off to the southeast. When he was nearly out of range, he blew the last charge and grinned when he heard more shrieks cut through the night. “I’ll be seeing ya, Sam.” 

Changing direction, Dean moved as fast as he could due south until he got far enough away and then cut back over to the southwest. He was doubling back and going the way he and Beth came to get there. Sam’s demons had trampled the snow on their march here from the Devil’s Gate. That meant it was the easiest trek he was ever gonna find to get away from the burning cabin. He’d follow their trail as fast and as far as he could until the wind blew the snow back over it. Sam might figure it out once he got his demons under control . . . if he got his demons under control . . . but with the way the wind had been blowing for most of the day, Dean, Beth, and their tracks, would be long gone before that happened. Now Dean just needed to find a place to hide out until Beth woke up, so they could head down south to steal a truck that wasn’t covered in 6 feet of snow, and they’d use that to head back home.


	37. A Whole New Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a sex scene in this. It's not very long and is marked at the beginning and end with bold letters for those who don't want to read it.

Dean had been walking for what felt like days . . . maybe it had been. Beth had started to feel a lot heavier after the first hour, so he’d thrown together a makeshift stretcher, using the blanket she was on and a couple of small trees he cut down with a ceremonial hatchet from his weapon's bag. When the snow got too deep to keep dragging her about 10 miles southwest of the aswang cabin, he'd had to stop and come up with a plan. He couldn't go back to the ranch they’d stayed in that one night. His and Beth's scent had to be all over it, and Sam’s weredemons and hellhounds would’ve passed right by it on the way to the aswang cabin. If Sam knew they’d stayed there, he might think they’d go back. Dean had to find somewhere else to take her, so he picked Beth up and went back to carrying her through the deeper snow as he veered from southwest to due south. 

However long ago that was, he’d passed the point of fatigue at least a day and a half ago. He was freezing even after he’d thrown on extra layers of clothes from his bag, but he wasn’t taking his coat back from Beth. She needed it more than he did. If he kept moving, he felt almost warm from the exercise, and he was lucky to being wearing enough socks that freeze bite hadn't set in. But he hadn’t had anything to eat, and he hadn’t stopped for any breaks. There was nowhere to stop. He had to keep moving. He’d started picking places about 100 feet in front of him as a goal, and when he’d cross that 100 feet, he’d pick out something else to keep him going, while trying to stay away from any major mountains or rock formations he’d probably drop them both down. 

Eventually, Dean saw a tree line ahead of him that he figured he’d be able to find some shelter under. When he got there, the snow was a lot less deep. The trees blocked most of the snow from hitting the ground and most of the wind from biting through him. He found a spot far enough in that he thought they’d be hidden from anything that might pass by the woods looking for them if he stopped there, and the tree he decided to sit up against looked comfortable enough for a tree. 

He unwrapped Beth from her blanket, pulled her into his lap, and wrapped the blanket around both of them, so he could try to warm them both up. She didn’t look any better. He shook off his gloves and felt for a pulse again. It was still there. Her forehead didn’t feel hot, so if it was like the last time, she wasn’t to that final stage of getting out yet. It was taking longer this time.

Against his will, Dean dozed off for about 20 minutes, but woke up when he heard a twig snap. The speed of his heart doubled until he saw that it was only a deer. He wondered how long it’d be before the bears and wolves took back over the way the monsters were now. _Probably not long. They’re probably out there right now. What the hell was I thinking? I need to get Beth somewhere safer than out here in the open._

He put together another stretcher and pulled Beth along until he found a cabin. After making sure it was safe, he put Beth on the couch and pushed it up next to the fireplace before he got a fire going and grabbed some of the tins she’d brought from that ranch they’d stopped in. He needed food and sleep, or he wouldn’t be any good for Beth. They’d stay here as long as it took for her wake up again. With as slow as he’d been moving, he and Beth would’ve been caught already if they’d been tracked this far, so they were probably all right. He still put down salt lines, devil’s traps, and angel wards, before lying down behind Beth on the couch and wrapping his arm around her to keep her close.

It wasn’t until the next day that things took a turn. Dean was sitting on the floor with his back against the front of the couch and put down the gun he was cleaning to reach back and feel Beth’s forehead, so he could see if she was hot yet. _How long’s she been doing that?_ There were tears streaming down her face. He felt her head. She still didn’t feel hot. What happened to her in limbo didn’t happen to him, so he didn’t know what was causing it. Maybe this time, she was coming out of it through a hall instead of a hot tunnel. He put the guns away, so he could be ready if she opened the last door, stepped out into a black void, and felt like she was falling again. Maybe 5 minutes after that things started to go wrong when her tears turned to blood. _What the fuck is this? . . . Maybe she doesn’t know I’m alive._

Dean crawled over her, so he could put his forehead on hers, while he talked to her. He’d talked to her the last time she got stuck in limbo, but he hadn’t thought that she really needed it, because she said she hadn’t heard him. If he’d known part of her was listening, he would’ve started doing it sooner. Her tears stopped coming, and something about it didn’t feel right, so he felt for a pulse. _No . . .no._ Dean quickly pulled her down onto the floor, so he could give her CPR and found himself holding his breath every time he went to check for a pulse. It took about 2 minutes to get it back. As soon as he did, he crawled back over her body, so he could talk to her face-to-face while he waited for the next thing to happen, and a few minutes later, the tears started back up again.

He went through another cycle of the tears, bloody tears, and CPR, and then he went through another cycle. By then he found himself tearing up and begging her not to put him through another round of her heart stopping, but it didn’t work. This time was taking longer to bring her back, so between compressions he started yelling at her for trying to leave him down here alone when he came back for her. He choked up at the tail end of his rant, and her eyes shot open. She took one look at him, and bolted upright to wrap her arms around his neck. 

Dean exhaled in relief before sliding his arms around her and held her for at least a minute before picking her up off the floor, so he could put her on the couch with him. She curled up into his lap, but didn’t say a word. He would’ve asked her if she was okay, but it was obvious that she wasn’t, so he didn’t say anything for a while. When he did, it was to ask her if she was hungry. They didn’t have much left, nothing hot anyway. She asked where they were. He told her he thought they were in a forest in Wyoming, so she said, “If there are more cabins around here . . . they may have more food. I feel like I need to wash off everything that’s happened in the last week, so if you check for food, I’ll do that,” as she sat up. 

He eventually found a cabin half-mile away that had some tins of beef stew, ravioli, and a few other things like fruit cocktail that would work. On his way back, he tried his luck with a wild turkey he saw. Not a bad haul and the turkey as a bonus. They’d be here for a while, because even if her chest didn’t hurt her yet, he was pretty sure she’d need time to recuperate after all that CPR. 

By the time he got back and hung the turkey outside, she’d somehow found a way to wash up and was wearing one of his t-shirts and flannels with her own flannel pajama pants. She only ever wore his clothes when she’d had a bad day. She said they made her feel better. If it weren’t for what she was wearing, you wouldn’t know anything was wrong . . . well, that and he hadn’t noticed with all the dirt, but now that it was gone, she looked fragile. He’d pushed her too hard to get away from the devil’s trap, and then she was passed out on the floor for who knew how long while he was in Heaven trying to get back to her, and then she was drug across the state in the snow, and died a bunch of times. 

She saw him just standing there and came up to take the tins of food he'd found. “Here. I’ll take care of this stuff. There’s a hand pump outside with a bucket next to it. Since the water’s from way underground, it feels almost warm compared to the air. I kind of took shower out there in it. It was awkward, but it worked out all right . . . if you want, you could try bringing the water into the bathtub using the bucket . . . it’s metal, so you can maybe heat it up in the fire first.”

There was something really normal and really weird about how she was acting. The last time her heart stopped wasn’t even an hour ago. All that had taken a toll on him that he wouldn’t admit. She hadn’t even asked how he came back yet. The last thing she knew, he was spilling blood all over her and gasping his last breath while she laid next to him . . . which was actually a better way to go than he ever thought he’d have. It was still bloody, but having her there to hold him wasn’t so bad. She should’ve said something about what happened when she was in limbo by now at least. Maybe she wasn’t up for it yet. He’d play it the way she wanted for now. 

Grabbing his bag to go outside, he said, “Nah, I’ll give it a try doing it your way,” but hesitated before stripping down when he got out there. _This is a bad idea._ He glanced back at the door. _Did she really do it this way, or is she fucking with me?_ Dean looked at the ground around the pump. The snow was melted, and there were a few of her footprints in the snow. He’d give it a try. He still had hellhound blood on him from the devil’s trap, and he still had his own blood on him from when he died. 

_Sonofoabitch, she wasn’t kidding about it being fucking freezing out here._ He’d filled a bucket before stripping down, so he didn’t have to be naked for longer than he had to be. As soon as he kicked the last of his clothes off, he dumped the bucket over his head. _Goddamnit . . . I’m gonna kill her. What the fuck is she talking about . . . the water is warm? ... Oh, I get it. After you dump the water over your head, you start to freeze worse . . . need another bucket now. How long’s that gonna take to fill? We’re doing this inside tomorrow._

Dean was in a foul mood when he finished getting all of the dirt and grime off of him. If he had to suffer through this, then he was damn well gonna be clean by the end of it, so he was out there way too long. He didn’t even bother getting dressed when he was done. He just stormed back in and toweled off where it was reasonably warm inside the door before he put his clothes on. 

The closer he got to the fireplace, the better his mood got. The heat almost made up for it, and now he was clean. Dean caught the small smirk she gave him when she came over to grab one of the tins she’d put on the grill in the fire. _Maybe I won’t kill her just yet. Kinda like havin’ her around._ She might’ve downplayed how bad that would be, but he felt all right about it as she poured an entire tin of hot beef stew into a bowl and handed it to him. 

After she got her tin of ravioli, she pulled out a pack of cards from one of her bags, and they played poker for awhile until she got tired of losing and then convinced him to play war. She offered to take the first watch if he wanted, but he thought it’d be all right if they tried sleeping together. This place was as well set up as the cabin back home had been when the outbreak happened, and now there were no croats. They both needed more sleep. He’d keep the weapons near him, and he’d hear anything that came into the cabin, so they should be fine.

They hadn’t been asleep for more than a half hour when Beth woke him up because she started talking. It wasn’t her normal sleep voice. She was actually talking, but he didn’t know what she was saying, because it was in a different language. She was turned away from him, so he propped himself on an elbow and wrapped an arm around her to pull her to him, and that woke her up. She laced her fingers through his and relaxed into him when she remembered where she was, but she didn’t say anything. She didn’t have to. He already knew. She wasn’t really his Beth anymore. She was trying really hard to be, but she was a whole new Beth he’d never met. He wondered if he’d be enough for her anymore, and maybe that’s part of the reason he hadn’t said anything about it yet. 

**His Beth or not,** she needed something to make her feel better. He let go of her hand and pulled her hair away from the side of her face before leaning down to gently move his lips along the side of her neck. She turned her head to look at him, so she could see if he was really starting something, so he moved his lips to her mouth in response and slid his hand under her shirt to glide up to her chest. 

Pressing his body along hers as she opened herself up for a deeper kiss, all he wanted to do was take care of her. When she moaned into his mouth, he moved his lips back to another one of the spots on her neck that she liked, while holding her close, so she felt safe, and his hand slid slowly from her breast to her stomach and then under her waistband and kept going until he could gently caress her. At his touch, she grinded back into his body as her breathing increased before she looked back up at him, and he took her mouth in another deep kiss. 

When she wanted more, she reached behind her with her free hand, so she could push his boxers down until he quickly removed his hand from her and helped her out with getting them the rest of the way off while she did the same with her own clothes. Then she rolled over onto her back to look up at him and said, “Dean . . . I –“ but cut herself off before gently pulling him down to meet her in a long, slow kiss that felt more intimate than all the others they’d shared. 

_I feel lost Dean, and I don’t know how to find my way back, but I think you’re the only one that can help._ She’d always been strong enough to get back up on her own, but she wasn’t right now, and she was letting him know she needed him to help carry her. It made him feel closer to her. He loved being with her and being able to take care of her. He loved this partnership they had. He’d do anything for her . . . Her tongue mingling with his, and her hands sliding along his skin and through his hair blocked out everything else. It led to the best sex they’d ever had . . . He ran on pure emotion and taking pleasure in the way her touch made him feel and the way she looked and tasted and the sounds of her breathing . . . and every last detail of how it felt to be moving in her and with her . . . it wasn’t fast or hard. It was about finding the right positions and touches for both of them that felt the best without either having to say it, because they just knew, and it lasted a long time . . . seemed like hours, and the release . . . it was unlike any he’d had before that . . . it was worth the long build up. He didn’t even mind that it was over, because she had been what had made it what it was, and she was still with him.

 **Later,** she curled up next to him, laid her head on his chest, and was working up to telling him what was going on. He already knew, so he thought he’d help her out. “You remember being in Heaven?” 

She sighed and nodded before softly answering, “I’m aware of a lot that happened, but I’m also not letting myself remember most of it. It’s really hard to explain . . . I don’t know how to incorporate me into me.”

He slid his hand down from her shoulder to her hand, so he could intertwine his fingers with hers. If she wanted to leave it at that, she could, but he didn’t think she would. She was trying to come up with a way to explain it in a way he would understand, not that she thought he was an idiot. She never dumbed things down for him, but it’s hard to explain something to someone when you don’t understand it either. 

“Our minds can’t process what we’re seeing when we see angels in their natural form. It was the same for me even though they’re all I ever knew. To us, they look like humans, but you can feel the power radiating out of them that lets you know they’re much bigger. Of course, there are a lot of angels in Heaven that are in vessels that they’ve had for thousands of years, but they have wings, so they can fly around the place, which means that things are built to accommodate the size of them when they’re not in a vessel. The stairs are giant stairs. The rooms are giant rooms. Sometimes things, like tables, are our size for the angels in vessels, but there are a lot of tables that are half the size of a skyscraper. When we see them without a vessel, they usually project the form of the last vessel they had, and if they’ve never had a vessel, we tend to see them the way our minds think they should look if they were human. It’s like living in an optical illusion.” That wasn’t the way he remembered Heaven . . . except when he met Joshua in the garden. His mind made it look the same both times, but Joshua said it looked whatever way he wanted it to look, and it didn’t actually look like that, and Joshua had felt larger than life, but he still looked like a man . . . All right, so Heaven was a messed up place.

“I remember the first time I met Cas face to face. He didn’t look the way he does now. His last vessel had to have been related to Jimmy Novak in some way, because they looked a lot alike, but not exactly the same. When he told us about me testing him, he downplayed what he did . . . As soon as he saw Prison Security run into the room, he stood in front of me. I didn’t hide behind him . . . when they were gone, he turned around to look at me, and . . . he looked sad. I didn’t know why. I do now, but I didn’t then. He wanted me to stay with him and said he’d protect me. He was the first angel that ever said that to me . . . you know how he is when he’s on cases and doesn’t say the right thing . . . in fact it’s usually the exact opposite of what he should say, because it’s usually the truth . . . a truth people don’t know about themselves or don’t want to know about themselves or don’t want others to know about them?” Dean smiled. Cas had come a long way, but he still threw people at the camp with his random comments. 

“He told me that I was magnificent. He said it because . . . well, he said I should’ve long since turned into a demon after the torment my soul had undergone. Becoming a demon is actually a self-defense mechanism that keeps a soul from being destroyed, but because I’d retained my humanity, I should’ve been ripped apart entirely . . . He didn’t know what was holding me together. It wasn’t because they took half of my soul away . . . it was what they did after that . . . The things that caused that damage are the things that I don’t remember, but if I look too closely, I will, so I have to learn how to remember the okay memories, like the one about meeting Cas, without them leading to the bad memories. It’s confusing because it feels like there are big holes in my memory right now, but I think questions are okay, if you want to ask any.” 

“So with your dream just now . . . ” _I’m an idiot. She just said she can’t remember most things up there, because they might lead to her remembering something worse, and the first thing I do is ask her about her nightmare?_ He really wasn’t prying. He just had a question about it, so the faster he got on with it, the better. “You were speaking in Enochian, right?” 

She relaxed and said, “I guess. I wasn’t awake, so I don’t know what I said, but that was technically my first language, so yeah it probably was . . . I know it’s weird -” 

She stopped when he briefly laughed. “I’ve always thought you speaking Russian was hot. It’s just another one to add to the list.” 

She smiled and said, “I can read more languages than I can understand, and I can understand what people are saying in more languages than I can speak, because I used to be a weirdo and learned a lot from watching people down here watch TV with subtitles or closed captioning, but speaking other languages is more difficult. I didn’t have anyone to practice with up there.”

He wanted to get to know her better, but he didn’t want to trigger her, so he said, “If I ask the wrong question, do you think . . .” 

He left his sentence hanging, and she said, “Only one way to find out.” 

“Now that you can remember, what’s the worst thing you ever did?” He’d asked her that a long time ago, and she smiled at the memory of it. 

“I think the worst thing was when I staged a prison break. I was looking for you. I didn’t know your name or that you were down here. I thought because we were both in the prophecies that you were locked up in the prison the way I was, so I let all the other angels out of their cells to take the focus off of me opening the cells in solitary. Most of the angels in prison are very bad angels, or they wouldn’t have been locked up . . . There was one that was nice enough in solitary. His name was Gadreel. I talked to him when it became apparent that you weren’t there . . . Other than that I used to break into angel’s offices if they turned me in the last time I got out of my cell, and I’d steal something that seemed like it meant a lot to them. Sometimes I destroyed the prized possessions, and sometimes I put them in another angel’s office that ratted me out at some point to cause tension between them. I did that to Zachariah more than once.” 

“Best day?” 

“You won’t want to hear it, and I don’t want to say it. It’s too embarrassing.” She never got embarrassed. Now he really wanted to know what it was, so he kept badgering her until she gave in on it. “There was a lot of chatter in the halls about the Righteous Man going to Hell, and your name got thrown around, so I was finally able to find you. I may have never seen you or known who you were until then, but I considered you my only real connection to another human because of the prophecies. To be honest, I’d been building you up in my head for so long that I would’ve been devastated if you were a horrible person, but you weren’t. You were better than I was expecting. You were good, and you were saving people and killing evil things. You tried so hard, and you didn’t do it for recognition. I was really proud that you’d been written about alongside me.” 

She kept finding ways to tap into things he wanted to hear and didn’t want to hear at the same time. He was getting better at being able to respond to it though, so he teased her by asking if she got a chance to check out the whole package while she was busy up there spying on him, and she turned her face into his chest and shook her head no. _Yeah, she so did. That’s why she didn’t want to say anything._ “I was in the shower?” 

She laughed. “Stop reading my mind . . . I didn’t know that’s where you were going to be . . . I just went to find you, and that’s where you were, and then you went on a hunt for some witches.” 

_Witches, huh?_ He wondered if that was why she’d gotten him a few things over the years to help him protect himself from them. He did hate witches more than just about anything else, but maybe it was also a way for her to mark the first hunt she ever saw him do without her knowing that’s why she was doing it. It made the stuff she’d given him mean more, and he’d already liked it, because some of it was pretty awesome . . . He even liked the witch amulet she gave him. It’d helped out a lot once he figured out how to carry it around without it burning him. He asked her a few more questions after that, and she answered them all right until he went to ask another one, and saw that she was asleep. She’d be okay. It was just gonna take some time.


	38. What's real?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is quite graphic in places and has torture in it.

I woke up the next morning alone and went to sit up, but my chest was fucking killing me. I looked under the blanket, saw all the bruises and sunk back into the pillow. I’d noticed them when I cleaned up last night, but hadn’t thought about them too much. They were a lot bigger, darker, and more painful after a long sleep. I thought I might have a few cracked ribs and definitely a cracked sternum. 

_How did I not feel this last night? Was he back for one night? Is that why it didn’t hurt when we . . . or maybe last night wasn’t real? Maybe he wasn’t here. Maybe it was all in my head? Maybe it’s a dream? Dreams don’t hurt. Maybe I’m still in limbo . . . I feel things when I’m in limbo. Am I in another room? This never happened, limbo is mostly my memories. If I’m not in limbo, and Dean’s alive, I shouldn’t feel it at all, should I?_

I felt panicked at the thought that I’d imagined everything and was really still alone down here without him . . . I looked at my injuries again and their placement, size, and shape. _Maybe I got these when I was in limbo. It wouldn’t have happened to him too if it happened then. Maybe he had to give me CPR . . . more than once. Why? Maybe he’s really alive? Where is he then? Go look._

I sighed, rolled over onto my side and pushed myself up, so I could get out of bed. While we were playing War last night, he told me how he got us away from Sam, but he hadn’t talked about anything that happened after we got to this cabin. _Was all that real?_ I didn’t want to think about him dying, but he did. It was the single worst moment of my life out of a life full of bad moments. When Roy and Walt killed him, I hadn’t been in the same room, so I didn’t know what was going on. He hadn’t died in my arms. _Stupid aswangs and their headless reanimation . . . at least I killed her, so she can’t kill anyone else . . . poor Corey._ He’d seemed relieved when I killed him, but that was another thing I was gong to have to live with forever. _I keep killing people . . . Corey, possessed people, those men that one time . . . those guys deserved it, but even with them . . . maybe especially because of them, I am walking in a gray area . . . a very dark gray area that I need to watch._

After I got dressed, I shuffled into the living room and Dean wasn’t there, but there were stray feathers all over the cabin, like they’d blown in from the front door. He must’ve decided to do something with that turkey he shot. _Maybe he really is back?_ I went out the back door of the cabin, so I could brush my teeth and smiled briefly, because he’d found a hose to attach to the end of the hand pump. I gave it a try, and it didn’t spray out where the hose was connected to the pump. I followed the hose back in the house and saw it set up in the shower. _Guess he really didn’t like taking showers outside in the snow . . . Do you blame him? It was pretty horrible._ There was water dripping down, so I used that to brush my teeth. 

_Now what do I do?_ I’d been on the move for so long that I forgot how not to be on the move. We’d had to fight non-stop for over a week to get away from the Devil’s Gate and through the snow only for him to be killed by the aswang. Before that it was two weeks of fighting to close the other gates, and before that it was about 3 or more weeks out on the road with Dean. I wanted to keep moving, because it felt like that’s what we should be doing, but my chest didn’t feel like that was going to be an option today. _What month are we even in?_

I looked out the front door and saw that was where Dean had hung the turkey to drain even if I had no idea where he’d put the actual turkey now. I went to clean up the blood so we didn’t get predators at the door and was stopped by the pain in my chest. Every time I felt the pain, it made me question whether he was really here or if I was in limbo or if I’d woken up, had completely lost it, and invented that he came back. 

If it was any of those things, I guess it didn’t change that I didn’t have anything else to do with my time, so instead of bending down to clean up where the blood was, I knelt down to do it to keep my chest from moving too much, but then when I was done cleaning it all up, I wasn’t sure how to get back on my feet. I pushed past the pain and then I found an old plastic bag in the cabin I could use to put the bloody snow in and took it outside to bury it somewhere deep enough that nothing could smell it. 

Then I went to clean my guns, but it looked like Dean had already done that. _Did he sharpen my knives? Nope._ That’d keep me occupied for a while. Dean could do his own. He was too picky and would probably do it all again himself. When I was done, I grabbed my pistol crossbow and decided I’d do some target practice with it, which didn’t go very well, because I couldn’t lift my arms high enough to get a good shot. Giving up on that, I grabbed my stupid arrows that were nowhere near a bullseye and dejectedly walked back into the cabin. _Where is Dean? He has to be alive, right? Do I have a book?_

I went through my bag to grab a couple of books but found myself rereading the same sentences over and over again, because I couldn’t concentrate. I didn’t care what was written on the pages. I decided to play solitaire on the ground, without thinking about how I was going to get back up, so that’s what I was doing an hour or more later when Dean came back, looking quite pleased with himself because of the game birds he’d been able to hunt with his crossbow. 

_Guess he’s planning on staying here for a while._ When he got in the door, he must’ve known I was stuck on the floor, because he came over and helped me get back on the couch without me having to ask. When I was settled, he leaned down and gave me a lingering kiss that I was quite enjoying until he pulled away and decided to go get more firewood. I didn’t realize he was going to go chop down a fucking tree to get it. After an hour, I decided to go take a nap.

“What? That hurts,” I said groggily, when I woke up to Dean shaking me. “I just want to go back to sleep.” Apparently he didn’t like that idea, because he sounded panicked when he said my name and told me, ‘no,’ before he yanked me up and sat behind me. The shot of pain at the sudden movement woke me up. _What the hell is going on?_

In answer to my question, he took his sleeve and wiped the sides of my face before showing it to me. “I don’t understand.” 

“They’re your tears.” _That’s not possible. ___

__Dean picked up my pillow that he’d tossed it to the side and showed it to me. _It looks like it is possible._ “Am I sick? Do I have dengue fever? No, I haven’t been in the tropics. Ebola? No, I haven’t been handling bush meat . . . unless the turkey was hanging out with some imported fruit bats –“ _ _

__Dean snorted silently before cutting me off, “Hey, leave my turkey out of this. It’s gonna be good when I’m done with it . . . You’re not sick. I think it’s whatever you were dreaming.”_ _

___No, that’s not possible. It’s just not. It can’t be real._ I tried to clean up my face some more while he rested his chin on top of my head. _ _

__“I’d leave it, because I wouldn’t want anyone to know any of the shit I dream, but then my nightmares never killed me. Maybe if I knew what it was, I could help stop it from happening,” he said a few minutes later._ _

__“I don’t know. I’ve been awake too long to remember it.”_ _

__He slumped back a little further and sighed. “Then no more sleeping without me around to keep an eye on things.”_ _

__We were there for a few weeks, and I felt like physically I was healed enough to get out of there, because my aim was fine again, but Dean wanted to leave it at least another day. He still hadn’t figured out what to do about me not having a coat. I wouldn’t take his, and he didn’t think me doubling up on sweatshirts was enough, but mostly he didn’t want to leave, because my dreams were still a concern. He seemed to know when the right time to wake me up was, and if he did, then I was fine and slept for the rest of the night, but that didn’t mean he did, because he kept checking me all night. He tested it last night by letting it go past when he usually woke me up, and the bleeding from my eyes thing happened again. I didn’t want to keep putting him through that. It was wearing him down. I was willing to try just about anything to make it stop, but I didn’t think this would work._ _

__Dean sat on the bed next to me, and I gave him an unsure look. “Are you sure you know what you’re doing?”_ _

__“I saw Pamela do it once. Didn’t look hard.” He sounded more confident than he felt._ _

__“I don’t think this is going to work. I don’t think I’m the type of person that can be hypnotized.” We’d been over it a lot, but I felt stupid about the whole thing._ _

__He looked up in exasperation and sighed. “Look, if you want to get out of here, try it. You do that meditation crap when you’re tryin’ to control things. It’s the same thing.”_ _

___I need a cigarette._ _ _

__“That’s the opposite of what you need . . . good luck finding any now anyway.”_ _

___All right, fine._ _ _

__I closed my eyes and tried to relax, which didn’t work. I thought back to when I tried to meditate when he was a vampire and attempted to recreate it. I listened to a bird chirping outside and focused on that until I couldn’t hear anything but that bird. Then I listened to a closer bird and slowly pulled my attention to sounds closer to the cabin and our room. By then I was relaxed and single minded enough to just listen to him. I don’t know how long he was talking to me before that, because I’d tuned him out, so the first time I heard him, he sounded bored. “How about now?”_ _

__“How about now, what?” I don’t know what he did when I said that, because I was waiting for the next thing he said. Everything else but his voice was nonexistent to me. He wanted to know if I knew what dream I’d been having._ _

__“Yes, but you won’t want to hear it.” He told me not to worry about what he wanted to hear and told me to tell him and make sure I did it in English._ _

__“It may take time to translate.” He told me that was fine, because he’d wait._ _

__“I don’t want to talk about it.”_ _

__There was a pause until he got closer and that he was right there, and he’d wake me up when he figured out where it was going wrong. I shook my head, and he said he promised he wasn’t going anywhere, so I reluctantly clarified, “Enochian thoughts to English?” He said he wouldn’t know what was going on if I didn’t, so I did my best to tell him my dream._ _

_“I overhear who will be next in Naomi’s reprogramming chair. It’s Castiel. I wait until she leaves to go meet with the guards that are bringing him to her and break into her office, so I can steal her . . . reprogramming tool. She left it out, so it’s easy to find . . . There’s no time. I have to go. I leave, and she sees me going around the corner at the end of the hall, before I can get away . . . Bollocks . . . She doesn’t know I was in her office, yet, but she will after she goes in and sees what I have taken. She will call Prison Security the way she always does when she sees me, but I have not been this . . . brazen in my attempts to right the . . . wrongs she . . . commits._

_I look at the reprogrammer in my hand. If I am taken, I must hide it, so that it cannot be . . . used against Castiel. It is big and . . . bulky . . . I know where to put it. I run as fast as I can to get there. They know the direction I went in this time, but I can still get away. I hide in a dark . . . alcove? They go past where I am hiding, and I follow them from a distance until I find the side hall that I want. I go down some other halls until I get to one of my libraries they don’t know about and go to the second story, climb up the bookcase to the very top, and hide the reprogrammer behind some books._

_I wait before leaving my library, but not too long. I don’t want them to do a thorough search for me in this part of Heaven. I have to let myself be seen somewhere else. I cannot . . . chance them finding this library. I have so few places where I can go. I weave my way through halls and make my way back to Naomi’s office, but stop by Zachariah’s office first and steal something from his desk. It is some kind of a . . . sparkly something that he must like. It’s on his desk in a place of honor, so I take it and smash it against Naomi’s door to grab her attention and wait until she opens the door._

_Then I run in the opposite direction to the way I went the last time she saw me. I do not mind them finding me in this part of Heaven. I play a . . . game with Prison Security that they do not know about. I hide to see how close they can get to me without seeing me, and after they go by, I leave my hiding spot and go where I know they will look next, so I can get there before them and do it again. I am doing well, but after many times, I am starting to get . . . bored, and they will stop looking soon, so I decide to go do something else. I am on my to see if I can watch humans on Earth, but Naomi steps in front of me. She thinks Prison Security is . . . incompetent and restrains me until they get there and take me back._

_Prison security guards are dragging me back to my cell. At least Castiel will not be reprogrammed. I think he is a good angel, and that is why he gets sent to Naomi so often. They want him to be like the rest of them. Whatever she does to him never seems to last for very long, but even a short amount of time as one of them, is too long. He is as much of a prisoner as I am, but he does not know that he is, because they keep erasing him until he can find a way to . . . return to being who he is._

_They are dragging me through the doors of my cell. I look around it while I can. I never get to see what it looks like in here, because it is too dark, but with the door open, I can see everything. I do not understand why my cell is so small. I think it must be one that they use for angels in human bodies. The . . . disgustingness of the room stands out now, so maybe it is better in the dark._

_My flesh and blood is on the walls from other times I have been caught. Heaven is supposed to be clean, even my libraries that have not seen angels in eons are clean, so why is this room so unclean? What was that? It moved. It is a creature . . . I have never seen a creature in . . . person until now. I do not like the look of it. I do not want that in here with me. If they are trying to give me friends to keep me here, I do not want that to be my friend. It is messy . . . there is some kind of a white cloth it has created in the corner . . . and it looks menacing. It is hairy and creatures should not have eight legs. They should have two or four or none and swim or slither. It was not in here the last time I was here. Why is it here now? I stare at the creature while they strap me down. Maybe it is a spy that they plan to use to see how I leave my cell. It is small, so maybe they think I have not seen it, but I have. I will destroy it, and then it cannot tell them how I escape._

_My attention is drawn to the doorway when I recognize Adriel’s voice. It is his turn to punish me today. The other angels leave, and Adriel says . . . “Together again . . . In truth I must say that I am . . . delighted that you are unintelligent and have not learned your lesson, so that I might have another attempt at . . . training you,” just before he brings the . . . cat of nine tails down on my back for the first time. He has made adjustments to it, and whatever he has done to it . . . I can feel it pull parts of my back with it when he whips it away. I do not mind the pain, but I do not like the thought of more of my flesh being taken from me . . . especially if that creature in the corner gets it. What if it takes parts of me to build into its home? I want those parts with me, not with it. Adriel keeps going long after the other prison guards would have stopped. He wants to hurt me . . . not teach me a lesson, but I will not let what he is doing hurt me now. I will let it hurt me when he is gone. He wants a reaction he will never get from me._

_The more times his whip comes down, the less I focus on the creature and the more I focus on the pain. Thinking about the pain and how it feels is the only way that I can control it and make it not hurt, and I must control it for as long as it takes for him to go. I do not flinch or give any other kind of a reaction when he moves to my calves and thighs and tears my flesh off there when there is nothing left of my back and arms._

_When he is done, he bends down to look at my face, and I make sure I look bored. That always angers him more, and I think me looking like I am the calm one makes him look bad when he’s supposed to be the angel, so at this point I consider us even. That is one point for each of us. “Shall we go with knives today?” He asks me this, like I should be worried, but I am calm in my response and tell him that he can do what he likes, because it will not affect me._

_He annoys me. He always tells me what he is going to do before he does it, but it does not matter to me. Pain is pain. Last time he burned me over and over again. The time before that he beat me with . . . I don’t know what they are called . . . I must look to see if I can find out their name the next time I get out of here . . . I think they must be on Earth, because I have never seen them in Heaven . . . they are long and round . . . they are blunt objects of some kind, blunt objects . . . he has used those before, so that was not new, and the time before that, it was knives again. He thinks he is clever, but he is not. If he were, then he would not have to keep coming back to the same things eventually. Even the adjustments he made using the cat of nine tails were still basically the same thing. He is neither intelligent nor creative. If he were so intelligent . . . he and the others would have figured out a way to keep me in here by now, but they cannot, because they underestimate me and overestimate themselves._

_I continue critiquing his methods and intelligence in my head when he unstraps my arms and flips me over. If I did not, I would scream, because my back . . . I cannot think of what it must look like. I cannot afford to do it if I do not want to let the pain overcome me. Instead, I think of the pain as my friend that I need to embrace rather than fight._

_When he places me the way he wants, Adriel says, “Now that I have warmed up, tell me where you put Naomi’s programmer.” I forgot about the reprogrammer. They will not find where it is from me if that is what they want, but this time will be worse . . . Do not break. Do not show weakness. Find something to focus on until it is over. One thing. Think of the angel you are trying to help . . . That will not work. I do not know him well enough . . . What about your library? You do not want him to know where that is . . . That is true, but I have more. It is not my favorite . . . Analyze the pain? Yes. That will work the same as it always does. Do not doubt yourself just because their . . . motive has changed. This is just more of the same._

_I turn my head to the side and ignore him as he begins the . . . cutting until I have things under control. Then I have to look, or he will think he has won. He almost gets me on a few of the deep cuts along my ribs and when blood starts to run into my eyes from the cuts on my face, but I focus on the pain and how it feels and analyze it instead of thinking about what I am witnessing. I have had this done before many times, so I know what to do. The closer each cut is to the next one, the more the feeling mixes with previous cuts, so it is as if there is no knew cut. The cuts do not hurt now. They will all hurt individually when he is gone, but for now, I treat them as a single cut . . . a single cut that I can make feel numb. When he is done, I have turned 500 cuts into one. I think he is . . . finished, but I am wrong._

_What almost does me in is when he takes one of those gray blunt things he used the time before last and hits the soles of my feet. I will have no way to heal this time. I start to panic and the pain starts to attack me. My head turns to the side when I hear Zadkiel in the doorway. He says, “That is enough brother. You know that standing is the way she recovers.” He’s the best guard here. His punishments are weak attempts at best unless one of his superiors is watching. Adriel hits my feet again, so Zadkiel says, “Naomi is making another reprogrammer.” I feel devastated, but I do not say anything or think about why I feel that way, because this is almost over, so I need to hold on a little bit longer. Adriel . . . persists with hitting my feet again, and Zadkiel says, “Adriel, stop this. I am sure you will have a chance to do it again in the future. You have done enough this time . . . unless you want to be reported for trying to destroy her.” That gets Adriel’s attention._

_Then they leave me there in the dark. The pain comes flying at me from all angles soon after the door closes, because I do not have to hold it back in front of them anymore, and I cannot do anything to alleviate it. I am a mass of pain, and I am scared, because that creature is here . . . I do not want it near me. It is a horrible little creature, and I cannot see where it is now. What if it climbs up here and tries to take more parts off of me to build into its home? I could not stop it from doing that._

_The only thing I feel that is greater than the pain and fear is genuine sorrow. It is overwhelming. They won this time. All of this was for nothing. Naomi is just going to make a new reprogrammer. I feel stupid and useless and helpless and weak. If anyone were to look at me, they would not see all that I am feeling, because I cannot show it. I cannot cry the way I see other humans on Earth cry when they are sad. I am beyond sad, yet I still cannot show it, because there is something wrong with me. I am not an angel, and I am not human. I am nothing._

_I try to roll onto my side, but it pulls at my back and hurts worse. I will not be able to stand. I want to die. There is only one thing that gives me any hope at all. Thinking about it briefly, I want to live. It is the only thing that has ever made me want to live, but then I remember that I will never find it, so I do not want to think about it the way I usually do when I am left here alone in the dark. I cannot keep pretending. I will always end up like this, so what is the point? There is only one thing to make this stop and let me win over them if they need me alive. I need to die. I need to will myself to die. I can analyze the pain, so I just need to analyze myself into death. That is –“_

I was cut off abruptly when I felt lips pressed against mine in the darkness, and then I heard Dean begging me to wake up. When I opened my eyes, he was hovering above me . . . he looked upset, so I reached up to touch the side of my face and found blood on my fingers. “I’m sorry for worrying you again.” He ignored my apology and wiped my face off with his sleeve before he put his forehead on mine and asked what the one thing was that gave me hope. “Finding you.” 

__I was expecting him to fight me on it or say he wasn’t worth it or make some sort of a joke, but he didn’t. He adjusted his angle and gave me a slow kiss. It soothed me, and then he pulled back just enough to look me in the eye and say, “If you’re not sure, and that’s what this is . . . You still have me. I know I died, but I came back for you. I promise I won’t leave you alone down here again . . . I won’t leave you alone up there again either,” before he returned his lips to mine and did everything he could for the rest of the night and the next couple of days to make sure I knew that I still had him._ _


	39. Peter Pan and the Lost Boys

They left the cabin a few weeks ago. Dean made the decision to head southeast, so they were somewhere in the middle of Nebraska. There was still snow all over the place and there was more coming down by the minute, so it was slowing them down a lot, and it was almost May. _There’s something wrong about this snow. It shouldn’t still be snowing, and it definitely shouldn’t still be 3-4 feet deep._

He looked down at Beth. She seemed like she was in a good mood even though she was struggling in the snow. He still thought she looked too cold even with the 5 layers of clothes, gloves, and hat she was wearing, but she was too stubborn to take his coat. Moving south was the best option if he wanted to get her out of this faster. The next creek they came to, he decided to follow it south. There wasn’t that much snow on the ice, and they should be out of the deeper snow in a week or so.

He hadn’t thought it was possible that he could feel what he felt for her more than he used to feel it, but he did . . . and that cabin was going in the record books as one of his favorite places ever. The sex had been unreal. But it wasn’t just that . . . he didn’t question how she felt about him anymore. She may not say she loved him, but he wouldn’t say it either. She may not know how she felt about him, but he did. It’s the only reason she kept tapping into a dream that could kill her just because part of her had thought he was still dead. She might end up in limbo when he died because of their connection, but everything that happened after that was all Beth. She wanted to be with him no matter where he was. It was new territory for him . . . and he needed to stop thinking about it, because he thought more like the chick than she did.

What he should be thinking about was how he was going to kill every last thing that ever touched her in Heaven. He already had two names on his list: Adriel and Zadkiel. She’d been 17 or 18 at the time, but she was still innocent enough to play cat and mouse with the Prison Security after years of them torturing her. She didn’t even know what a fucking pipe or spiders were. So what, if Zadkiel wasn’t as bad as the others? He was still a part of it. Naomi was going on the list too, because if Cas knew what had been happening to her just by looking at her the first time they met, the angels that turned her in, like Naomi, had to know what was happening to her too, and they turned her in anyway, so they were all going on his list too. When he did die again, death wasn’t going to be a retirement for him. He had a lot of angels to kill. 

There were a lot of things that’d gotten to him. She’d said it all in the voice she used when she was asleep, and he loved that voice . . . usually it said the dumbest, funniest things, but not that time. She’d been pretty fast at the translation, but she’d sounded more formal than she normally did, and at first she was describing it, but at some point she started telling it, like she was living it. The normal tears started around the time she couldn’t cry in her dream the way other people could, but other than that, her face didn’t have any emotion to it. The blood started around the time she’d said, “What’s the point?” He didn’t want to know what she was thinking when her heart stopped.

Dean glanced in her direction just as she slipped and fell on the ice, and that cheered him up. She kept finding holes to fall into or ice to slip on. He couldn’t hide his grin when he bent down to help her up and knew half a second before she did it that she was gonna knock him down with her. She could still move kinda fast with all those extra layers she was wearing. “It’s gotta be Mother Nature 20, Beth nil. Not sure -,” He stopped when she threw a handful of snow in his face. 

Her expression when she realized what she’d done and who she’d done it to was hilarious. Almost straight away she started to crab walk away from him. _Not so fast now._ Every time she tried to get up, she slipped and fell back down. Dean was a few feet away when she finally got to her feet. Her arms were outstretched for balance, but before he could do anything, she slipped again, landed hard, and hissed in pain while she grabbed her ankle. _Crap. The last thing we need is her to have a fucked up ankle when -_

She waited until he got there to see if she was okay and then knocked him down again before jumping up and throwing more snow in his face. Then she darted out of his reach, raised her arms in the air, like Rocky, and shouted down at him, “Ha, it might be Mother Nature 20, Beth nil, but it’s Beth 4, Dean nil,” before she took off down the ice. That whole slipping and sliding thing had been an act except for the first one. _‘How the hell does she get 4 nil anyway,’_ Dean thought standing to go after her.

“Say it!” She laughed, reached behind her head, and picked up another handful of snow to put it on top of his head before he could pin her hands, and laughed again.

“No, and that’s another point for me.” _How the hell does her point system work?_

He let go of her hands to pick up a pile of snow and held it above her head while he sat on her to keep her from getting back up. She eyed his stomach, and he thought she was going to punch him, so he tightened his muscles to be ready for it, but she quickly sat up and pushed his hands away from her and half the snow fell back on him. This time he kept her hands pinned with one hand and leaned closer to her lips to try and seduce it out of her. “Say it.” 

She laughed out, “Dean Winchester is the best at snow fighting . . . even if he didn’t win, because he didn’t get enough points,” and then leaned up to kiss him as a distraction while she tried to get her hands free, but she couldn’t, because he was the best at this. He pulled back and threw a handful of snow in her face before getting up and telling her that the snow fighting was over. It wouldn’t have been over if something behind him hadn’t caught her eye and made her smile drop before she said, “Hello.”

When Dean turned around he saw a little kid about 10-years old standing on the other bank watching them. Could be a kid or could be something else that looked like a kid. Beth grabbed their bags that had been flung off in their snow fight before she came up to stand beside him. Neither of them was sure how close to get. It was weird the way the kid was watching them out here in the middle of nowhere on his own. 

Beth handed Dean his bag before she looked back at the boy and said hello in about 10 different languages. _Reading level understanding? Yeah right._ Finally the kid seemed to understand one of the things she said . . . but even Dean got that one. _French? What is a kid who only speaks French doing on his own in the middle of Nebraska after a Croat outbreak?_ He wasn’t sure what Beth said, but it must’ve been close to what he was thinking, because he understood Nebraska. 

When the boy answered her, she smiled. “No parents . . . He didn’t know he was in Nebraska, but he wants to know what we’re doing here too.” _No parents? He’s handling this way too cool to be on his own._ Dean kept his eyes on the surrounding area in case they were about to be ambushed. He knew nothing was behind them, or he would’ve heard it. He didn’t know about the other side of the bank. Maybe they needed to coax whoever was with the kid out? 

“Tell him we’re going home and if he passes some tests he can come with us . . . and you’re such a liar. You know more than 4 languages.” 

Beth rolled her eyes. “Not fluently. I’m not even sure I know how to say what you just told me to say.” She gave it a try anyway and might’ve been slow about it, but the kid seemed to understand her. Dean wondered if there were any languages she spoke that he wouldn’t find a turn on. 

The boy looked hesitant and said something else. Beth smiled again and filled Dean in on what the kid had said. “He says if we pass his tests then he and the others will come with us.” She liked the ones that were smart enough to be wary of strangers. Dean wanted to find out what the kid meant by others, so he nodded in agreement, and he and Beth walked closer. 

She started off okay on trying to explain the tests and then struggled with a word, before trying to explain it in another way. The kid seemed to understand what she meant and asked a question, so she said, “Shapeshifter.” The kid looked like he was memorizing what that word meant. Dean wondered what the kid’s interest was. Maybe the boy had seen one. If he had, that had to mean this kid had been at Sam’s camp at some point, since all the shifters were there now.

The kid drank the holy water and was fine with the silver knife. They checked for fangs and tattoos on the arms and neck that might mean he was a djinn. Then they had the kid look in a pocket mirror to make sure he wasn’t a changeling . . . the kid seemed fine until it was his turn to do the tests. 

The first thing he wanted to know was their names, not as an introduction, but as an actual part of the test. _Yeah, this kid was in Sam’s camp. Risk it and tell him the truth or lie and the kid won’t trust us later?_ Beth took it out of Dean’s hands, told the kid her name and said Dean’s name was something else. Apparently, that was the kid’s only test, because after that, the kid turned around and waved for Dean and Beth to follow him over the bank. “What name did you give me?” 

“I’m Beth Black, and you’re Jimmy Page. His name is Adrien.” _Jimmy Page? How’d I miss that?_

When they got over to the other side of the bank, they didn’t find what Dean had been expecting. He’d thought maybe there might be some old people or hurt adults this kid was looking after, not 10 kids all hiding with slingshots and air rifles trained on them. These kids would fit right in at their camp. They already had the basics if not the weapons down. 

Beth asked Adrien a question in French, and Adrien grinned before he spoke in perfect English. “No, I’ve got it.” Then Adrien told the other kids about the tests they all had to do . . . again in English. Dean liked this kid more and more by the minute. 

One by one the other kids filed over and did all the tests. They all passed. Beth put the angel banishing sigil on the back of a notebook she had with her, but it didn’t work, so they weren’t angels. They were a good group of kids. They had a ton of food they must’ve raided from places around here. They knew not to stay in places too near the roads to draw unwanted attention. Now he just had to figure out a way to get them all home.


	40. Weredemons

We’d been with the kids for about a week. It’d slowed us down a lot, so we weren’t out of Nebraska yet, but we were nearly there. The smallest girl was about 5. Her name was Jasmine. I had her on my back, while I tried to make it through snow that was down to my hips now. No vehicles yet, but we’d find something eventually. 

“You know angels?” Jasmine asked over my shoulder. _Dean must’ve told them we did._

“I have two friends who are angels. One is named Castiel, and the other is named Gabriel. Gabriel is sort of like a Dad to me. Castiel is one of my best friends and like an older brother.”

“Why did they let this happen?” _Uhhh. Which ‘this happen’ does she mean?_

I asked her what she meant, and she said, “Mommy died when I was little, and my Daddy got turned into a monster . . . and monsters tried to eat me.” _Oh . . . why does this feel like a meaning of life question?_

These kids had been through a lot. They were like the Lost Boys and Girls to Adrien’s Peter Pan. Adrien and a couple of the others had run away from one of the trading posts in South Dakota. They’d picked up the other kids along the way. Most of them had been found in abandoned houses and barns, but Jasmine came from another trading post. 

She’d been kept by the monsters that had her for who knew how long until she got too weak. They brought her back to the trading post and kept her hidden, so they could trick the other monsters into taking an almost tapped child instead of one of the fresher kids. Adrien and the others stumbled onto her trading post, because it was near a creek, and they’d been following creeks the entire way, because there was less snow on them. 

They hadn’t known what was going on at the shack when they got there, just that it was inhabited, and then they saw the truck pull into the long driveway and knew what was happening. Apparently, Jasmine knew what was happening too, because that’s the moment she chose to try and make a break for it, while the monsters were all either focused on the truck or one another. Adrien saw her crawling away, and he and the others snuck around, so she could see them and signaled for her to keeping crawling towards them until she got close enough they could pick her up and carry her out of there faster. They couldn’t do anything for the other kids fresh off the truck, but they’d saved her. 

“Umm . . . with your Mom . . . I’m sure it makes you sad, and maybe you think that if she was here, she’d know how to make things all better, but . . . maybe you could think of it as . . . her dying back then was better for her, because it means she wasn’t around to see the monsters, and she didn’t have to see your Dad become a monster, and she didn’t have to become a monster either. She’s probably up there right now watching you, so she’s not really gone.” _Was that okay? Seems to be, she put her head on my shoulder and started sucking her thumb._

“With your Dad . . . demons probably helped turn your Dad into a monster. My angel friends helped Jimmy and me close and lock all the doors to the place demons live, so now when we send demons home by saying a few words we know, they can’t get back out again. We weren’t fast enough to help your Dad, but hopefully we can do something about getting rid of the rest of the demons that are out there and stop it from happening to other moms and dads . . . I know it doesn’t make up for what happened to you and your parents, but Adrien saved you, and then we found you, and you’ll be safe where we’re going. There are a lot of other kids there who are just like you. They’ve lost their parents too, so they’ll know what you’re going through . . . and you’ll get to go to school for a change. You said you liked school before the demons came to take you and your Dad.” 

She popped her thumb out of her mouth just long enough to say, “And where I’ll learn to protect myself.” I smiled at being reminded that they were survivors in addition to being little kids. 

“Yeah, and we’ll teach you how to do that too . . . We can work on that now. Tell me the tests we had you do when we met you, and I’ll tell you what type of monster we were making sure you weren’t.” 

By the time we finished with that, I felt exhausted. We had a lot longer to go. Being vigilant and keeping an eye on the kids all the time was taking it out of me. 20 minutes later she was asleep, and Dean came up behind me. “Shift change.” 

_Is it time already?_ I went to check my watch and got annoyed when I remembered it wasn’t there. 

“I was thinkin’ maybe we should switch it up more times in a day.” 

_We or just me?_ Dean smiled without answering and took Jasmine from me before he took the lead and kept my bags. The one in the lead had to clear a path in the snow for the kids. The kids could all see above the snow, except for Jasmine, so whoever was in front had been carrying her. When I was at the back, I carried my own bags, and when I carried Jasmine, Dean took my bags. He kept his bags on him all the time. Now it looked like he was keeping mine all the time too. We changed places throughout the day, but not after an hour or however long it was this time. He was still worried about me. He didn’t think I was back to 100% after the CPR back at the cabin. He was probably right. To be honest, I was grateful he helped me out when he did, but I still felt guilty about letting the team down.

Maybe an hour later, we heard howls in the distance. All 12 of us froze. There was a group of trees maybe half a mile back that had a house tucked away in it. It would’t be easy to get there in time with the kids, but it was the only place anywhere nearby that we could defend. Dean and I nodded in agreement before he took the lead on getting us there. 

I didn’t know if they were wolf howls or werewolf howls or weredemon howls or some other kind of monster howls. Howls were very bad . . . and if they were howling, I could only assume it was because they were communicating to others that they’d picked up our scent. More howls pierced through the air the closer we got to the house. Whatever was making the racket was moving fast. They were faster than normal wolves should’ve been able to move in the snow . . . actually do wolves move in snow that deep? I didn’t know. I’d have to see if we had any books on normal wolves in our library at the camp and read up on them. 

Dean got the kids inside the house, while I pulled out my binoculars and stopped just outside the line of trees. I caught movement coming over the horizon. “They’re humanoid. Not wolves,” I panted out before I crossed my arms behind my head to catch my breath when Dean came up to find out what I’d seen. _Shouldn’t have picked up Darla and ran with her at the end there._

“Hey, look at me. You alright?” 

I looked up at him and nodded. “Yeah . . . just tired.” A couple of the kids woke up with nightmares last night, so we’d had to help them and hadn’t gotten much sleep. He hesitated, but decided to drop it in favor of asking me how many there were. _Nothing we can’t handle._ “Pack of about 7 or 8.” 

My job was pretty simple. I had to go find the kids a place to hide in the house. Then I was going to watch the back while Dean watched the front. The best place I found to put the kids was a cupboard under the stairs. If anything came in from the upstairs windows or back door, Dean and I could both defend it, and it kept them all together, so one didn’t get snatched. It was cluttered, but it would work if I emptied it. After I’d thrown all the stuff from the cupboard across the living room floor, I helped the smallest kids get on the top shelf first, and then the next smallest kids on the middle shelf. The bigger kids could all sit comfortably on the floor. Then, I handed Adrien a small spare silver knife. I told him to stab any monsters that opened the door and told him he was the last line of defense against the other kids. It wasn’t necessarily fair given his age, but he’d been doing that long before Dean and I found him, so he was up to the challenge. He’d just never had the right type of weapon that would really do anything against monsters until now. 

After spray-painting a demon ward on the back of the door, I shut them inside, moved to the back door, and loaded my gun with silver devil’s trap bullets. _Where’s my lucky silver knife? Got it. We’re all good._ That knife had helped me save Dean from werewolves once, so that’s why it was my favorite. I was glad I got it back from the shifter before she filled us in on Sam’s camp. 

My thoughts were interrupted when Dean ducked his head inside the front door and signaled that the monsters were splitting up. I hoped it was only the 7 or 8 I saw that were splitting up and that the 7 or 8 I saw weren’t already split from a larger group. We could handle a group that large, but the kids being here made it trickier. The first monster came into view from the trees to my right. I shot it in the heart to see what it’d do. “Weredemons!” 

I heard something snarl about 5 feet behind me. _Teleportation sucks when you can’t do it._ By the time I pivoted to shoot it, the demon had started to vacate its suit, so I recited an exorcism backwards. It wasn’t necessarily fast, because as well as I knew exorcisms, I didn’t usually say them in reverse, but it didn’t have to be fast as long as I got it started before it could leave. As soon as the cloud went back into the werewolf, I shot it in the heart to keep it from going anywhere. _Did that actually work?_

“What the hell was that?” I looked over at Dean and shrugged. I knew Sam had done it in a different future that could have happened. I knew that, because I had all those memories now along with the ones from Heaven. I was still as surprised as Dean was that it’d worked though. The look on his face quickly changed, and I automatically dropped to the floor to give him a shot at the weredemon I assume must’ve come up behind me at the door. 

We heard one land on the roof and break a window upstairs, so I jumped up to take care of that one and made it to the bottom of the stairs just as it got to the top. I got a shot off as it leapt towards me, and it fell the rest of the way before landing in a heap at my feet. That plus another weredemon that tried to come in from the front while our attention was inside the house made 7 when Dean shot it. I wish I knew if I’d seen 7 or 8. 

I looked at the weredemons in the kitchen. “How many of you are there?” 

“Well, as I live and breathe . . . We get sent out on a simple seek and find mission for some runaways and run into Beth Foley? Well, I feel like I’m meetin’ a celebrity.” _What? Stop talking like that._

“I’m not a debutant at the damn ball. Stop trying to suck up to me. How many of you are there?” 

The other weredemon was more my kind of demon, because he said, “You think any of us wanna find you and Dean? Fuck no! Every time you’re found more of us die. We sure as shit ain’t gonna help you if just finding you and fucking it up is going to get us skinned alive with a salty blade until we’re crushed from the inside out.” _That’s why he tried to vacate his meat suit when he saw me face to face._

I walked around the weredemons, like a tiger circling its prey and said, “I see this going one of three ways. We can send you to Hell to deal with Crowley . . . The gates might be closed, but I’m willing to bet he has a back door hidden away somewhere that’s just for him, so he’ll probably turn up and question you himself when he hears you’re there . . . We both know he knows who’s with Sam and who’s with him, and he will not make your stay there pleasant . . . or we could leave you here and let Sam find you again. You won’t be able to lie your way out of it, because he’ll know with the silver devil’s trap bullet who trapped you . . . or we could kill you fast . . . it’s up to you what happens. Doesn’t matter to me, but the only way to save yourselves from being tortured mercilessly by either one of them is to die, and the only way you’re dying is if you tell me exactly how many of you there are.” 

“There are around 50,000 demons in Vegas, but we’re recruiting more to make up the numbers we lost recently, and there are 7 of us out here now,” the polite one behind me answered. _Well, that was a hell of a lot more than I was expecting._

I glanced at Dean, who’d been listening at the front door, and he indicated for me to take his post, so he could take over on questioning and find out more about Vegas. To make the point that he meant business, he knelt down next to the weredemon at the bottom of the stairs and quietly exorcised it. They didn’t hear it, so they hadn’t been exorcised, but they definitely saw it happen and got the point. 

By the time Dean was done questioning them, we knew the layout of the different zones around Vegas and that the fathers of all the werewolves, shapeshifters, and skinwalkers were being kept in the vault of the Luxor. The weredemons didn’t know where the tablet or Kevin were, but they did know that the highest-ranking demon working for Sam was Meg, and they gave a pretty good description of what she looked like now. 

There were a lot of loyal supporters in his ranks, but there were almost just as many that didn’t think he knew what he was doing . . . Well, they didn’t after he lost Dean and I twice. They didn’t know the specifics of what happened inside the Devil’s Trap in Wyoming, because none of those demons had survived, but the demons that Sam had stationed outside the Devil’s Trap and that went with Sam to the aswang cabin filled the rest in on what’d happened when they got back. 

When Sam had found out about the trading posts Dean had shut down, he killed a lot more demons and apparently went on a rampage around the shapeshifter and skinwalker camps to blow off steam . . . Before the Devil’s Gate in Wyoming, Sam had closer to 150,000 demons working for him, so he’d killed or had 100,000 of them fried by lightning in the span of a week . . . and he lost half his monster alliances while he’d been gone. There was trouble in Paradise.

After Dean killed the two demons in the kitchen and brought their bodies outside to start a fire, we split up killing the rest. None of them were walking out of here except the first one Dean exorcised. Why give either side more demons? We probably shouldn’t stick around too long either. I didn’t know how true the thing I’d said to them about Crowley was. He may be topside and unable to return or not, but I knew he had ways of communicating with the demons in Hell, and the ones he had working for him down there could find out from the one we’d just exorcized where we were. 

When Dean opened the cupboard door, he took a huge step back when Adrien lunged at him with the knife I gave him. Adrien was in full-on attack mode for a 10-year old, so Dean spun him around to hold onto him, disarmed him, and tried to get him to calm down. Instead of calming down, Adrien shouted for the other kids to run. They stopped running towards the back when they saw me and started to bolt towards the front door, so I sprinted in front of it to cut them off. Then Adrien bit Dean and Dean asked him what the hell was wrong with him. “You’re not Jimmy Page. You’re Dean Winchester, and she’s Beth Foley. You lied to us! There is no safe place you’re taking us to. You’re going to torture us and eat us for breakfast!” 

Dean sighed and let Adrien go. “Oh come on. You’ve been with us for over a week, and you’re still gonna believe the bullshit they said to you at that camp?” 

There was really only one way to play this, so I took looked Adrien in the eye and apologized. “I did lie. I’m sorry. Sometimes grown ups make mistakes. I wanted to make sure we got you somewhere safe before we told you who we really were. We won’t make you come with us, but remember that those demons we just killed started tracking you in South Dakota. It’s taken you a couple of months to get this far, and they left Las Vegas a couple of weeks ago, so you need to be more careful.” Then I stepped away from the door. As soon as I did, Adrien stormed towards it and told the other kids to come with him. 

They all started to file out the door one-by-one except for Jasmine. She stomped her little foot and yelled, “No! I’m not leaving Beth or Jimmy.” Adrien stopped outside and told her to get moving. I looked at Dean, and he was trying not to smile when Jasmine put her hands on her hips and shouted, “No! They’re taking me to go to school. I like when he calls me Jazz. My Daddy called me Jazz. And I like when she tells me about her angel friends. I’m stayin’,” before she sat on the floor in protest. 

Adrien looked to Dean for help, but Dean put his hands up, like ‘Don’t look at me. I’m supposed to be the bad guy here,” and Adrien growled in frustration before he stomped back over to Jasmine. “He’s not Jimmy! His name is Dean! They lied to us!” 

Jasmine looked at Dean before she said, “Sometimes grown ups make mistakes, but they’re still grown ups, and we need grown ups.” 

Adrien lost his temper and tried to grab ahold of her arm to drag her out, but she scooted back and kicked him. “You can’t make me do anything, Adrien!” She tried to kick him again when he wasn’t put off by the first kick. I could’ve stepped in . . . maybe I should have, but I felt like they had to work it out themselves. If they stayed, it had to be because they wanted to stay. I wouldn’t turn them into prisoners. I might make Dean put going back to the camp in Wisconsin on hold while we followed them from a distance and made sure they were okay until we could convince them to come with us, but I wasn’t going to force them into anything after what they’d been through.

Adrien had enough when her next kick landed and headed for the door. “Fine! Stay here! See if I care, but we’re going.” That’s when Dean decided to step in. 

“So, that’s it? Thought she was supposed to be your responsibility, and you’re just gonna leave her with a couple of monsters, cuz she gave you a hard time?” 

Adrien clenched his fists and glared at Dean. “What am I supposed to do?” _Poor Adrien. He’s really attached to Dean . . . follows him around everywhere asking him questions. Even now he’s asking him what to do. He’s really hurt._ The other kids came back in but kept an eye on Dean and I. 

Dean sat on the arm of a chair, and rested his forearms on his knees to look more relaxed before he said, “If it was me . . . I’d probably kill the monsters, but if I couldn’t do that, I’d do whatever I had to do to keep all of them safe. I wouldn’t leave one behind.” 

Adrien pointed at Dean and argued, “You’re only saying that, because you want to kill 10 instead of 1,” which made Dean breath out a quick laugh. 

“So, losing one person is okay for you? If you really think that we’re monsters and walk out that door without Jazz, its gonna eat away at you knowing you could’ve saved her and didn’t.” Adrien looked back at Jasmine before Dean added, “Every kid here is a responsibility you took on for yourself . . . now you didn’t have to do that, but you did, and when you make that kind of a commitment to somebody else, you need to follow through on it, whether they give you a hard time about it or not, and I know you know that . . . See, I think maybe you know Jazz will be safe if she stays with us, and that’s why you’re okay with leaving her behind. I think you’re mad that we lied, but you need to ask yourself what’s best for all of them. We would’ve told you the truth once we got you home. We just needed for you to get to know us and see we’re not that bad first . . . We won’t lie to you anymore.” 

Adrien looked at the kids by the door, while he thought about it. “You really have a school?” 

Dean laughed at the thought that school was a deal breaker. “Yeah, we have a school . . . It may not look like anything you’re used to . . . it’s mostly spread out in the cabins because we have so many kids now, but we have books and teachers and that’s all you need for a school. You’ll have homework. Don’t blame me for that one. That was Beth’s idea. She thought you guys should learn how to be future doctors . . . Hey, Beth, you think we could get Carl and Rob to start up something for kids who want to be carpenters? Like shop class?” _That’s a great idea . . . maybe something for farmers too?_ I smiled and gave Dean a nod. We could talk about it later. Adrien wasn’t done with his questions yet, so he got Dean’s attention again and asked where they’d all be sleeping. “It might be a bit tight at first, but we’ll find room for everyone, and we’ll make sure you all stick together if that’s what you want.” 

Jasmine was playing with her shoe and said, “I’m staying with you and Beth.” 

Dean grinned and responded, “Me and Beth have our own room.” 

Jasmine shook her head. “No, I’m staying with you and Beth. You’ll keep me safe.” 

Dean glanced at me, and I put my hands up. “Don’t look at me. I didn’t tell her to say that. Kids just like you.” 

He went over to pick her up and brought her back over to the chair, so she could sit in his lap. “There’s a girl at the camp named Sarah. She’s about your age. When I found her, she was in bad shape. She’d been with a nest of vampires for a couple weeks, and -,” 

Jasmine cut him off. “Like me?” 

Dean smiled briefly. “Well, I think from the sounds of it you might’ve been with some changelings, but yeah, like that. Sarah used to think only I could keep her safe, but Beth and me are out on the road like this a lot tryin’ to find more people to save, and she’s still safe even though I’m not there. You guys can all stay where she does, and I’ll keep you safe until we get there . . . if Adrien says it’s okay, because he’s in charge of you.” 

Jasmine looked over at Adrien with puppy dog eyes, so he sighed before looking at Dean. “We’ll come with you for now, but if I don’t like the place, we’re leaving.” 

Dean grinned and said, “All right. Let’s get outta here. We’ll stop in an hour for lunch.“


	41. Choosing Humans

The first thing Castiel was aware of was that he was lying face first in a pile of snow. When he tried to lift his head, he found more was piled on top of him. It wasn’t cold for a being like him, just a physical state of water that formed in a crystalline structure when the temperature was below freezing. He didn’t have to worry about suffocation either, but if he were human he would have been dead long ago. 

He needed to find out where he was and then maybe he would be able to remember how he got here. After digging his way out, he was faced with a panoramic view of the Himalayas. It was as though he were standing on top of the world. He looked to the east. That was Mt. Everest, so he was not quite on top of the world, but almost. He admired his Father’s creation. It really was magnificent. He wondered what Dean would make of it. Dean only got to see so very little of God’s creation and most of it negative.

His thoughts of Dean reminded him of how he got here. They’d just closed the last Gate to Hell, and he and Gabriel were meant to protect Dean and Beth while she found a second tablet. Even the destruction of one tablet would prevent anyone from being able to replace God on the throne. He and Gabriel had been banished, and Beth and Dean were left alone to face Sam and two armies. Castiel’s heart sank. They’d failed. 

He had no doubt that Beth would hold out against Sam if she were on her own. It was not Beth’s ability to withstand torture that would be their downfall. It would be her love of Dean. Now that Beth knew that Dean experienced the injuries she did, she would not want to put Dean through that. Without an angel nearby to heal Dean and let Beth know that he would be okay until they could find her . . . all would be lost.

There was a time when Beth could’ve convinced Sam not to hurt her if Sam knew it would hurt Dean, but this was not the same Sam that Castiel knew before the outbreak. This Sam would use their connection against them without caring about what it did to Dean. This Sam had almost pure demon blood running through his veins. He was an abomination, one that shouldn’t have been allowed to exist, but Sam was a part of his Father’s design. At one time Castiel would’ve thought that meant that what would happen would happen the way it was meant to be. Now he knew better. Now he knew that they could fight against what had been preordained even if the battles won were small . . . the war wasn’t over. The universe and everything in it still existed, which meant that Dean and Beth had not failed yet. 

Perhaps Dean convinced Beth of the right thing to do . . . whatever that was. If they’d chosen death, then Castiel would go protect them in Heaven from Raphael and his followers. If they were not dead, then they were still fighting. They may be fighting in Sam’s camp against his methods of interrogation, or they may have found a way to fight their way through those demon armies. 

Castiel smiled when he remembered the two that he was thinking about. They would not have gone willingly with Sam. Gabriel had made sure that Beth was prepared for such an event, and he was the best teacher Heaven had to offer. Dean had been raised to fight, and he would have fought for Beth and for them all. 

When Castiel went to take a step, he collapsed to his knees. He was still too weak to fly. He’d have to wait for his grace to be fully restored. If they were not still in Wyoming, he’d go back to the camp. He could find out where they were from Chuck’s prophecies and determine if he needed to organize the other humans on a mission to free them from Sam in Las Vegas, go to Heaven and protect them from Raphael, or find them somewhere out there in the world and bring them to the safety of their camp. It would be another day before he could fly again. Until then he would be able to use the time for contemplation here in the mountains. 

He didn’t know where Gabriel was, but his brother would live despite having been weakened before the banishing sigil. Gabriel had always chosen his own path. Gabriel understood humans better than any other angel Castiel had met. He understood the darker nature of humans and the small things that gave them joy. Castiel found him more and more intriguing each time they met. 

When Gabriel awakened, he would probably return to watching over the camp from a safe distance instead of going to Heaven and getting involved in the politics up there. Gabriel had chosen his side, and it was the side of humanity. It’s the same side Castiel fought on now. 

Castiel decided to follow Gabriel’s lead if Dean and Beth were both still alive. He’d remain with them in the camp to offer guidance and protection, and he would continue to ignore the calls from Michael for him to come home. Dean and Beth needed him. They trusted that he was a good soldier who could help in their fight, but they also considered him a friend and family, and maybe after all this time, he felt like he was a part of their family too. 

A day later, Castiel went back to the Devil’s Gate in Wyoming. It was silent. There was nothing there. He stepped in a hole and used his grace to remove a patch of snow, so he could see what was hidden underneath. There were craters that he didn’t think were there before he was banished. He lifted more of the snow and saw more unexplained things hidden under it. 

Everywhere he looked there were craters and obliterated gravestones and trunks where trees used to be, but no bodies. It was beginning to look like a battlefield, but all the casualties had been cleared. Did angels do this? If angels were getting involved, things just got a lot more difficult. He didn’t know what happened here, but he’d find out.

Castiel flew to the camp in Wisconsin next. They hadn’t put up angel wards around the camp, so he could come and go as pleased, but he thought it was only fair that he should enter the way everyone else did through the front gate. He didn’t want special treatment. 

When he landed outside the gates, the guards on the gate jumped. Perhaps a part of him found their reactions humorous. Gabriel said it was okay to think that things like that were funny, because a sense of humor was something that would allow him to understand his human family better. 

As soon as he was allowed entry into the camp, he flew into the cabin and scared the people in there too. Bobby and Adam’s reactions were amusing. He asked where Chuck was and was told that he was in his room. There were only three rooms upstairs. Dean’s was on the far right. Adam’s was in the middle, and Chuck’s was on the left. It was a sign of the appreciation Dean had for Chuck’s importance to the camp. 

Chuck was the first one here when the outbreak happened, and he’d helped Beth recover. He searched for survivors using radio announcements that went out several times a day. Chuck organized the daily reports that came in from the teams and handed copies of the reports along with suggestions on what was needed the following day to whoever was in charge, and that was in addition to him getting visions regularly, writing those visions down, and cataloguing them. Chuck was an unsung leader at the camp. 

As Castiel read through the prophecies, a few things surprised him. First, the wasteland he’d just visited had been his Father’s work. He couldn’t remember a time when his Father had a hand in anything that happened on Earth. Angels working on their Father’s behalf had always carried out the kind of destruction he’d seen in Wyoming. Standing with Dean and Beth was what his Father wanted if even his Father was helping them. 

The second was that Michael was no longer on their side. He’d intended to keep Dean in Heaven even though what happened in Wyoming had to have been witnessed by those in Heaven . . . Michael’s new position was a concern. 

Third, Beth now knew of her time in Heaven. He remembered the rumors of a prison break, but the rumors had been quickly quashed, and she would have been about 12 in human years at that time. He didn’t know that she had tried to intervene on his behalf long before he met her either. He didn’t remember ever being sent for reprogramming, but then that is what happened to those who were sent there. Everything he read hardened Castiel’s resolve that staying with them was the right thing. He was choosing them, not Heaven.

A day later, Chuck’s visions provided him with enough details that Castiel was able to find where they should be at some point in the day. He went there and waited until he heard their truck coming and appeared in front of them. The truck swerved, and Castiel thought he might have to intervene to keep them from crashing, but Dean was driving, so it didn’t go off the road. He was expecting Dean to come around the driver’s side door and tell him not to do that or for Dean to tell him to give him fair warning next time, but instead Dean grinned and walked up to give him a quick hug and a pat on the back. Dean didn’t give very many hugs. That must mean they meant more to Dean. Stepping back, Dean said, “I’m glad your back, Cas,” before he looked back at the truck and added, “Think you’d be up for getting them all back to the camp a little faster?” 

“That’s why I’m here.” Castiel waited until Dean was back in the truck before he placed his hands on it and took them home. When Beth finally got out of the truck and ran up to him for a hug, he returned it. He’d missed her too. When she stepped back, he looked at her again. That wasn’t in the prophecy. He pulled her towards him for another hug and smiled at the quizzical look Dean gave him. He was as happy as an angel could be that they were both here and alive and well. That’s what was important to him. Gabriel could say what he wanted to them when he returned, but he suspected Gabriel would feel the same. He was introduced to the kids in the back of the truck and was asked about whether or not he was really an angel and if he’d really helped close and lock the doors the demons came from and about Heaven in general. Young humans asked a lot of questions.


	42. It's All Fun and Games Until . . .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one has a lot of sexual content. It's marked at the start and end in bold print if you don't want to read it. Dean and Beth are in their honeymoon phase.

Dean came into our room and wanted to know what I was doing. I kept scribbling away on my notepad on the desk in front of me. “I was thinking that we should try to find the people you saved on hunts. I think that them being exposed to the supernatural at some point in their lives probably gave them a higher survival rate than the general population.” I knew there was a high probability that most of them were dead, but I thought there had to be some that were still alive if most of what was left of River Pass made it. 

He wrapped his arms around me, and rested his chin on my shoulder to look at what I’d written so far before saying, “We haven’t even been back for more than a couple of days. You’re not recovered from being out there for so long.” 

_I’m fine._

“You’re not fine.” 

_Says who?_ “If I’m worn down as much as you keep thinking I am, why was I out there helping Rob chop down trees today or helping Ross with a wall he still doesn’t have around his outpost. Physically those are both harder work than being out there –“ 

“Why are you the only one that works on that wall?” 

_I don’t know. Everyone here has a job they can’t be pulled away from for an outpost._ “I fill in where I’m needed.” 

I turned my head to look at him, and he said, “Why doesn’t Ross just move here?” 

_Are you kidding me?_ “No way. I’ve spent way too much time working on that wall to give up on it now, and . . . I like the view. It’s the second nicest place after the fishing outpost.”

Dean smiled and said, “You know what I think? I think you’re using any excuse you can come up with to get out of this camp . . . stop stealing the bricks for our wall to do it.” 

“I’ll go find bricks myself. I don’t need your stupid bricks . . . and maybe I don’t like being around lots of people. I find it unsettling. I’m not really a people person.” 

“Since when? I thought you wanted to save as many people as you could.” 

_I do._ “Yeah, but I don’t want to live with them after we do it . . . I spent too much of my life in isolation . . . and then I got here and moved around a lot with my Dad growing up. Even hunting was an isolated existence for the most part . . . I don’t think I like being around people for long periods of time.” 

That made Dean laugh. “What about me?” 

_That doesn’t count._ “I could see you every day and not get tired of you. I like the council and the kids. It’s everyone else . . . I hate having mundane conversations unless I’m conning someone, but that’s what all conversations turn into when you’re around the same people day in and day out and don’t really know them. And don’t tell me to just go out there and make friends. I don’t need 2000 new friends. It waters down the friend pool . . . That and I feel like I’m always being watched, or am I imagining that? I feel like they expect something from me, but I don’t know what it is . . . do you know?” 

Dean went from messing with me to seeing that I really didn’t know and touched his forehead to mine while he said, “We’re gone a lot. They know what happens when we’re out . . . can’t hide what we do anymore . . . makes us different. We come back and try to work alongside ‘em, like we’re not, but we are . . . and on top of that, we’re helping running things around here . . . makes us even more different. We’re a mystery they wanna solve . . . the difference between the kids and the adults around here is the kids ask us questions. That’s all it is.”

_Should I tell them that if they have questions, they should ask?_

“No . . . most won’t ask if they’re put on the spot. Anyone that does ask will keep asking, and you won’t get any work done.” 

_So, it’s just the way it is?_

“Yeah . . . until we kill everything that needs killin’ and can move on knowin’ they’re safe here without us, that’s the way it is.”

Dean seemed pretty relaxed. It seemed like a good time to go back to my plans for finding more survivors. “So, I was thinking I’d just have Cas fly me to where your hunts were, check the places out, see if I find any clues on where they might be, and bring them here.” 

Dean leaned back to look me in the eye and said, “You’re not goin’ anywhere without me anymore.” 

_Anywhere?_ “Even on supply runs? You’re just going to go with me everywhere?” 

“Even on supply runs. You already said I was your favorite. You can’t take it back now, and you know you have more fun with me.” He pressed his lips to mine to prove his point. 

Well, he might be right about the fun thing, but I wasn’t going to make it easy for him, so I pulled back and said, “I was busy here. You’re being too distracting, and that’s going in your cons list. We can do that later,” while I went back to making my list.

“Who says I’ll want to later.” When he moved to sit on my desk, so he could see me better, I gave him a look that said, ‘oh please,’ and went back to making my list. “You think I’m easy when you’re the push over.” Dean crossed his arms and sat back to see if I’d take the bait. 

“There’s no way I’m more of a push over than you are now that you’ve stopped that whole on again off again thing.” When I looked up at him that time, I saw that’s exactly what he’d wanted me to say. _Damnit._

“Since you’re so sure. Why don’t we make a wager on it? You break first, and I’m your partner from now on. I break first . . . well, I’m not gonna break first.” Someone was feeling cocky. 

“All right. You break first, and I get to go out whenever and with whomever I want.” 

“Any means necessary?” 

_Uh, not any means necessary._ “No kissing. You can’t use that as your weapon against me,” I said sitting back with my own arms crossed. He grinned and said it was a deal before walking out the door. 

The first test came a couple hours later when I was nearly done with the list. I needed to have him go over it and add more. He came back in the room, so I asked him about it, and he came over to have a look while he placed his hands on my shoulders. He had me add a couple here or there, and at first I was able to concentrate, but then he started to massage my shoulders, and moved his hands down under my collar and lightly moving his fingers lower with each circle he made until he was under the top of my bra. My nipples felt really sensitive, and by the time his fingers reached them . . . yeah that’s all I was thinking about . . . until I laid my head back against his stomach to look up at him and saw him smirk. Sitting forward to pull away from him, I took a deep breath to get it together before I snapped my notebook shut and said I was going to bed. 

I grabbed my toothbrush and went to the bathroom to get ready, and by the time I got back, he was already in bed and looking quite pleased with himself. Now it was my turn, so I made a show of stripping down to nothing but my underwear. Then I climbed into bed next to him, turned off the light, and made sure I snuggled up close before I said, “Night, Dean,” and threw an arm and a leg over him as well. From what I could tell when my hand ‘accidentally’ brushed against him, he was more than a little excited by the whole thing, but he didn’t make a move. Our first match came out as a draw.

I didn’t see him much the next day, because we were busy doing our own things. After dinner, I went to the camp stores. Carl and Rob had built it for Maeve and Frank, while we’d been out on the road. I was really impressed with how hard my building had worked while we’d been away. They’d showed all kinds of initiative and even had a school almost built. The stores weren’t big, but they were big enough, and they created more space in the main cabin. There was even a small room at the back where whoever was on guard duty could stay to keep the place from being robbed at night. 

I was going over the inventory of what we had and what we needed to make sure people knew what to get on the next supply run when Dean came in behind me and closed the door. He flashed me a grin and said he just wanted to check on things to see what we needed to get when he and I did our next supply run together. I rolled my eyes, because that’s so not why he was there. “IF we do a supply run together. You haven’t won anything.” 

He grinned again and said, “Yet, but I will now that I know you’re willing to play dirty to win.” _Me? He’s the one that went that way first. I didn’t even really do anything._

I turned away to ignore him by checking something else and found myself spun around and pushed up against the door. His body was pressed up against mine and both my hands were pinned above my head with one of his. _How the hell did he do that so fast?_ His lips were just a few inches away from mine, and the look he gave me let me know how much he wanted me. It was enough to make my heart rate spike, and that was before he moved back a little, so he could slowly undo my belt with his other hand. 

**When my** belt was undone, he ran his hand tantalizingly along the skin just above the button of my jeans before unbuttoning it, and the implications of where he was going to take this next . . . There was no way he didn’t know how turned on I was, but I wasn’t going to just let him win. _Nice try, but it’s not going to –_ My thoughts were interrupted as he slid his hand inside my jeans and his fingers grazed along the outside of my underwear all the way down to where I’d want them to be if I wasn’t trying to keep him from winning a bet. 

I leaned my head back against the door and closed my eyes, while he teased me, so I could try to get it together before I exhaled and looked at him again. He smiled briefly, not because he had me, but because he was having fun. He leaned closer, so his lips were even closer to mine while he slid his hand up to the top of my underwear and then back down the inside of them and . . . after that I was pretty much his. 

I started breathing heavier the more his hand did to entice me. The way my body reacted to his touch made his breaths match mine, and that always turned me on more. I licked my lips while watching his mouth and had to close my eyes again to keep myself from giving in, but I let him know exactly how good it felt with the slightest of moans. He rewarded me by pushing it further, and I forgot this was supposed to be a game. 

I closed my eyes before another soft moan came from my chest, and when I opened my eyes to look at him, his expression had gone from one that said he wanted me to one that said he wanted to please me. He changed what he was doing to make it feel even better. It was for my enjoyment now, not for the bet or any other reason . . . he leaned closer. I could feel his lips almost on my lips and feel his breath against my skin, and I felt the beginnings of that sensation and moaned again, and he breathed out, “Say it, Beth . . . Let me have this one.” 

**It was** hard to concentrate. I would’ve just given him his answer by kissing him, but someone tried to get in through the door we were up against right about then. He exhaled, and reluctantly let me go. When I was done fixing my clothes, he stepped away from me with a grin that said, ‘I almost had you,’ before he pulled the door open and left me to go over things with Maeve. My thoughts were a million miles away when I was talking to her though.

I thought that maybe I’d almost had him even more than he’d had me there . . . maybe you could call him saying what he had almost conceding, and I didn’t think that was right. I wanted him to win but not tonight. I was enjoying our game too much. Maybe I’d let him win tomorrow. I thought he should win because of why he was playing the game. He was doing it, because it was something that mattered to him, and I was doing it to be contrary and give him a hard time. Now I just had to come up with something to do tonight to make him work for it a bit harder, and I did, and it was so good.

The next night I headed to the fortress of solitude alone. I’d had a really bad day, and I just wanted to be by myself for a little while. I hadn’t had a chance to visit the hunter’s shack once since we’d been back, and it seemed like the right time to do it. _Looks like Adam got a new rug._ I took my boots off at the door, beause I didn’t want to get it dirty. It was really soft and fluffy, so I walked back and forth on it while I tried to relax. _I don’t want to read. I wouldn’t be able to concentrate on it._ I decided to play solitaire and grabbed a deck of cards before going to sit on the coffee table. It used to be in the main cabin, but we’d moved it out here to make room for more people in there. We’d put it between the recliners, because it was the perfect height to play games on.

Dean came out an hour or two later and quickly went from looking like he was finally going to win our bet to concerned. _How’d he know something was wrong that fast?_

“I know you.” 

_Yeah, I guess he did._ “It’s just been a bad day.” 

“Nah, I’ve seen you have bad days. You usually hide it . . . you’re not even trying to right now.” _It takes a lot of energy I just don’t have to try and hide it. Thought I wouldn’t have to if I hid out in the fortress of solitude._ “Is it Randy or Trish? I can’t fix it if I don’t know what it is.” _He can’t fix this._ He kept guessing, and I couldn’t look at him anymore, so I put my head in the palms of my hands. He didn’t usually push things, but then he didn’t usually have to push things, because I always told him, and he’d gotten used to me telling him everything. 

Apparently, he’d gotten used to being able to read my mind too, because he was frustrated that I started blocking him on that. I thought that was strange. This weird freaky connection should be something he absolutely hated, since it was something supernatural, but he embraced it more than I did. 

Finally, he’d had enough and went to leave. I realized then, that I wanted him to stay. “Don’t go.” He paused at the door before he turned back. He looked kind of hurt that I wouldn’t tell him what was wrong, and that made me feel worse. He went and poured some drinks for us and put on one of my records. He was trying to make this one of our nights out, and him doing that for me made me feel a lot of things for him. I was so stupid, and he deserved better than that from me. I decided that now was the right time for him to win, so I took off my socks while he was busy picking a game. When he came back over with the chess set and sat in the chair across from me, I stood up and slid my jeans off before I took the game from him and put it on the table behind me. 

**To keep** him from asking me what was wrong again, I leaned down and kissed him while I slipped my underwear off and straddled him, and in response, he slid his hands up my sides and took off my shirt before wrapping his arms around me. This is what I needed, close physical contact with him. As our kiss became more heated, he glided his hands behind me and undid my bra before he broke our kiss and moved his mouth to my chest to take advantage of my aroused state. Each move of his tongue and slight graze of his teeth made more sensations shoot through me and made me forget about my problems more. 

The next time he looked up at me, I took his mouth again before I lifted myself up from him, so that he could undo his belt and get rid of his own jeans and boxers. I positioned myself over him, and he stopped me at the last second to ask if this was part of the game. His reasoning was that I’d only said he couldn’t kiss me, not that I couldn’t kiss him. The fact that he was so close to getting what he clearly wanted and would’ve still put it on hold, so he could go with me every time I left the camp . . . to keep me safe, to be with me as much as he could . . . it meant a lot to me. I didn’t want him to think I didn’t want to be with him every day, because I did. “No, I wanted you to win. It was never something you were going to lose. I was just –“ 

He reached up with one hand and pulled my head back down so I could reclaim his mouth, and I lowered myself onto him and took it from there. Tonight, this was about him, not me. I wanted to thank him for everything he did for me and for trying to make me feel better even though I hadn’t make it easy on him and for being who he was all the time and for caring about other people more than himself. 

I worked with him to make it last as long as possible, and it did last a long time, so the feeling built for me too, but I didn’t want to be selfish. When he was nearly at his limits, I leaned forward and said into his ear, “Let go, Dean.” 

He shook his head and panted out, “No, you’re almost there, I –“ 

“It’s not about me. This is for you.” He pushed me back a little, so he could look at me before he held my head between his hands and gave me one of the most passionate kisses I’d ever had. He kept it going while he gently slid his hands from my head, down my body, and up to the back of my shoulders. Then he waited until the right moment and pulled me down against him as hard as he could. 

I gasped out another moan, and he held me there, so every movement I made . . . I guess he really didn’t want to come without me, because that particular angle made everything as deep as it could be every time I moved, and it felt so good. I didn’t want . . . couldn’t hold off for much longer. I kept going until the tension broke free in me, and I could feel it break free in him too, but after he was done, I stayed where I was. I didn’t want the kiss to end. I still wanted to feel close to him. Our tongues grazed one another’s sweetly, and he’d slid his arms around me to hold me while we kissed, so it didn’t look like he wanted it to end either.

**Dean** collapsed down on top of me on the soft rug after round 4 tonight. He stayed on his stomach but pushed himself over to the side so only half of him was on top of me and then said, “So, you gonna tell me what was goin’ on earlier?” 

_Oh that._ That was something I’d forgotten in the hours we’d spent out here together. Well, I hadn’t forgotten it, but I hadn’t felt so bad about it for a while. Now I did, because I ruined everything. I looked away from him and shook my head. He got up and propped himself up over me using his elbows. “Whatever it is we’ll fix it, but I can’t do anything about it if you don’t tell me.” 

Looking up at him, I almost said it, because he was so sincere, and I didn’t want to keep it from him, but I wasn’t ready, so I bit my bottom lip before I looked to the side and shook my head again. “You can’t fix it.” 

He smiled briefly, because it was the first time I’d cracked on it. When I looked back up at him, he put his forehead on mine to catch his breath while he thought of a way to get me to open up about it. 

Anytime he put his forehead on mine like that, he might as well have been saying, ‘Don’t shut me out . . . or it’s okay, I’m here . . . or I need you . . . or I’m sorry’ or a combination of those. I couldn’t turn that down. He sort of knew how to play me even if he didn’t mean to do it. I think it’s because he didn’t mean to make me say anything by doing that one action, that it worked, so I exhaled, “I’m pregnant.”


	43. Coming Around

“What?” She said it again. Dean froze. _No. Not in this world. Not with everything that’s lookin’ for her. Not with everything we still have to do and fight. I’m sure as shit not father material._ Dean sat back and started to throw on his clothes. “How the fuck did this happen?” He’d probably said that louder than he intended. He found his boxers and pulled them on while she grabbed her own clothes. 

She looked away from him to put on her bra and threw on a shirt while she answered, but he couldn’t hear what she said, so he asked her to say it again. “It’s my fault. I’m sorry. I took the three-month shot like I always do the day after you came back as a vamp. It’s part of the reason I stocked up on things like that when I was on my medical supply run. It ran out after I left to go run around the entire planet shutting the Gates of Hell. I went to get the shot today, but Dr. Thomas decided to do a check up first and told me.” 

_Shit. How the fuck did I forget that?_ He knew when she got those shots as well as she did. He’d forgotten about it with everything that’d been going on in the 2 months since it’d run out. They both had. _Why can’t I find my fucking shirt? Fuck!_

She was dressed and out of there before he was. When he finally got outside after shutting the place down, he didn’t see her anywhere, but he knew where she was. He could’ve left it. He wasn’t ready for any of this, but he still went to where she was hidden around the back of the hunter’s shack. 

When he rounded the corner, she was sitting against the shack, curled up, so her arms were hugging her knees to her chest. _She probably shouldn’t be sitting out here in the snow like that._ The way she was sitting reminded him of the way she’d looked when he’d tried to wreck their relationship by telling her that what she’d thought was her life was all a lie and that Rachel had half her soul. The difference was that now they were here instead of at Bobby’s, and now she was crying, and she couldn’t do that back then. 

He remembered the first time she cried. It was before he went to face Lilith. She never sobbed. If she cried, she looked the way she did now . . . just tears quietly streaming down her face . . . unless he was dying. That was the only time he’d ever seen her completely lose it. His shoulders slumped when he thought about all the other things that’d happened since that night at Bobby’s. 

_Kinda hard to ignore it the way she ignores everything else that goes wrong. Wonder if I hadn’t pushed if she would’ve told me? Probably not until months from now . . . probably would’ve just said, ‘I’m not fat. I’m pregnant,’ just before she hopped out of a truck to go kill some monsters . . . she just got her memories of Heaven back, and now this? She can’t catch a break._

He walked over and sat down next to her on the left the way he had that night that felt like forever ago. She waited a few seconds before she leaned her head on his arm. She didn’t know what else to do and needed him to make it better. That was something he knew about her now that he hadn’t back then, so he wrapped an arm around her and moved closer. 

“I’m sorry, Dean. I really fucked up. I –“ 

“Pretty sure I was there too, and I forgot about it too, so I’d say it’s more like 50/50.” She nestled into his chest more. He liked when she did that. It made him feel like he was doing something right. 

“I can’t do this. I’m no good with kids. They think I’m a clown or a murderer. I am a murderer. What am I supposed to do, teach it how to kill people or be dead for 29 years? I have nothing to offer.” 

He knew those thoughts bounced around in her head every so often, and he never knew how to respond, so he normally ignored it, but now she was saying it, so he sighed and said, “Those men deserved it, and Corey . . . if you hadn’t, he would’ve died alone and in pain with the two people who were supposed to get the rest of his kids out of Vegas on the floor under the table . . . least when he died, he thought you could still get them out. Meat suits don’t count. We try to save ‘em, but because of what’s in ‘em that doesn’t always work out . . . You can make a good pie, so you could teach that and how to play a good prank and your good with science and know lots of languages and you know right from wrong, Beth, and it doesn’t matter if you think I deserve someone better than you, because you’re what I want. What else ya got?” 

She recognized that he was turning it into their joke from before he went to Carthage and glanced up at him. She almost smiled and put her head back down on his chest. “I don’t have a complete soul. I can’t . . . maybe I’m not able to . . . I don’t think I’m built to be able to give it what it’ll need.” 

_I thought the same thing for a long time, but I was wrong._ “Since when do kids need wrath, greed, sloth, and all that other crap? You didn’t get those things. You got all the good stuff out of the deal . . . and you give me everything I need, Beth. You may not know it, but I do. Don’t know why you wouldn’t do the same on this. What else you got?” 

She was quiet for a while, so he held onto her until she felt like talking again. When she did, she didn’t say anything about what he’d said. Instead she came up with a few more things to keep the game going, and he played along until she gave up. 

He started thinking about the dates. There hadn’t been any time for it before the aswang, so it had to have been after that. Beth must’ve picked up what he was feeling, because she asked him what was wrong. “Nothin’ it’s just this wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t come back this last time.” Everyone up there was determined to keep him up there, so he almost didn’t make it back . . . and then he thought about what happened just before that aswang got back up. If he hadn’t seen a flash of what was going to happen the way Beth had for him when those monsters outside Vegas almost got him, the aswang would’ve killed her instead of him . . . if that had happened, he would’ve died with her . . . maybe Joshua wouldn’t have let them finish the job if both of them were up there together. Their connection, that happening, him coming back, and now this . . . he thought it had to mean something . . . like this kid was supposed to happen. 

Beth was gonna have his kid. He was gonna be a dad. He was gonna do things better than his Dad had, but he’d still have to go out there and kill monsters. It’s what he did and who he was. It was something he was always proud that his Dad did, so maybe his kid would think the same about him, but he wouldn’t let it get in the way of him giving his kid everything it needed. He wouldn’t drag his kid across the country for every new hunt. He and Beth had a home base here. He wouldn’t miss the birthdays or the Christmas’s or the big days at school. 

He’d been there for those things with Sam, and his Dad hadn’t been. He sort of already knew how this would go, because he’d already been doing it his whole life. Beth may not know what to expect, but he did, and he’d show her. He snorted at the idea of his kid calling Bobby a grandpa. Adam was going to be an uncle. Sam would be an uncle too even if he couldn’t know about it. 

“Can we still go on that mission to find people you saved on hunts?” 

His first reaction was to tell her no, but she was like him. She didn’t like staying in one place for too long, and she’d hate being left behind on anything. He hadn’t realized until the other night that she felt the way she did about being here with the same people day in and day out. He thought that part of the reason she was working so hard on that wall at outpost 7 was because she’d found a place she liked that was far enough from the main camp that the two of them could have their own space if they moved there and close enough that they could still be involved in running the community. He wasn’t against the idea. If Beth had set this place up like a kingdom, he and Beth were the monarchs, whether they wanted to be or not, which meant a lot of celebrity attention he didn’t like any more than Beth did. There was never a break from it. 

They’d worked hard on trying to keep anyone here from knowing they were together. It was a lot easier to hide when the and Beth were trading off on supply runs and only got a night here or there to be together in the room they said they were sharing because space was limited and they were used to living together on the road as hunters. People seemed to buy it . . . almost. That’s why they were always watching to see if they could pick up on something more. Apparently people around here didn’t have anything better to do with their time.

It was still safer to keep it hidden in case Raphael or Crowley found someone from the camp and pumped that person for information. She may have destroyed that prophecy when she found it, but angels, like Raphael, had been around for a long time and could’ve come across it long before she found it, and demons, like Crowley, seemed to know an awful lot more than they should given their pay grade. Sam might know because of that kiss in Wyoming, but maybe Sam thought it was what it had been, a distraction to give them a chance to disappear, and Sam probably didn't even know about that prophecy. The demons in Wyoming that saw it were all dead, so they couldn't tell Crowley, and Raphael couldn't see them. Continuing to keep it on the down low seemed like the smart play, but people would know they were together now, and their kid was gonna be the center of attention right along with them. He’d have to check that outpost out tomorrow. He hadn’t been out there for a long time. Ross was at the camp everyday to teach at the school, and Dean didn’t have time to check up on an unfinished outpost with one person living in it when other things needed to be done everywhere else. 

Dean looked down at her again. The smart play was to say no, but because he wanted to do the right thing for her, he said, “Yeah, I think you can still go out until you start showing, but Cas is comin’ with us, so it goes faster and to give us more backup . . . how far along are you?” 

“A little over 6 weeks. I think it was that day I woke up from limbo, because I wasn’t up for much for a few weeks after that.” The sex that night had been . . . well, they needed to do that again and soon . . . because 4 times with her just now after building up to it over a few days . . . the game was fun and painful at times, but the payoff was worth it. Sex with her was always great but the sex that night . . . the sex in that cabin period . . . It’d been mind-blowing . . . not a bad way to create a life.

“Hey, you don’t think I’ll have to feel it when you have the kid do ya?” Guys didn’t have to do that shit, and he wasn’t gonna be the first guy in the world to go through that. 

She laughed and said, “No, I’m sure you’re safe. You don’t have any girl parts.” 

_I’m askin’ Cas about it as soon as I can._ Beth laughed again. She must’ve been able to feel his panic at the thought of it. 

“I’d be more worried about what Gabriel’s going to do if I were you.” _Fuck. I’m gonna be out on the road when she tells Gabriel._ Even if Gabriel didn’t go for the nuclear option, he’d probably find a 100 different ways to kill him again. “Maybe you could sell it like he’s going to be grandpa,” Beth said with another laugh. And Cas could be the godfather or another uncle. Their kid was gonna be well protected anyway.

“So, you don’t think I ruined everything?” 

_Ruined what?_ He finally had what he wanted with her after years of pushing her away, and this just kind of added to it. “Thought I said it was 50/50 . . . some things’ll change, but this is just another thing we’ll get through together. Might be kinda fun taking him or her for target practice.” 

She smiled and said, “You can teach our kid how to throw knives.” _Yeah, she’s still crap at that_ . . . and he noticed she’d said our kid, which he liked the sound of from her. 

“Hey, you can teach our kid how to use the angel blade, and we’ll both teach our kid how to pick a lock.” He didn’t want to leave her out of training. They could split it up, and they could split up the other stuff too. She could teach all the book stuff, and he could teach how to fix up a car. He decided that their kid could do whatever it wanted, but it was gonna be able to protect itself from anything.


	44. Everyone Is So Emotional

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a sex scene in this. It's marked at the start and end in bold, so you don't have to read it if you don't want. It should be the last one for a while.

We decided to stick around for another week after I told Dean, so we could recuperate a bit more, have more face time at the camp, and make sure things were running the way they should be. We’d been working on the wall at Ross’s outpost separately. Dean hadn’t told me he was going to do it, so the first time I went out there, I was surprised it looked different than the last time I left it. Now it was kind of fun seeing what he’d gotten done while I was away and pushed me to try and do more while I was there, so I could see his response the next time. It was coming along pretty well. It was already about 2 feet high all the way around, and I’d made the trench a little deeper than ours to keep it at least partially protected until the wall was done. 

I liked that spot. It was about half the size of the other outposts, and those were all half the size of ours, so I guess it was an eighth of a mile on each side. It was right on the lake, and when you went to the second story of the cabin, you could see over the wall and out onto the lake just fine. There was some nice tree coverage surrounding it on the other three sides. There was enough room for a few spare buildings to be built. We didn’t spend a lot of time on it, just an hour or two each day, because the rest of the time we were busy with our own camp.

We’d set up the carpentry for kids class and another one that had kids going to the farms, so they could learn how to do that if it was more their thing, and Kate, who ran the clothing and seamstress outpost was willing to take on any kids that wanted to learn from her, and there was a cooking class being set up by Olga and Marco, because they were the best cooks in the camp. The school had been finished so more cabins were going up. Carl and Rob seemed like they were on a bit of a roll. They were planning a mess hall for everyone now. 

Dean and I worked a lot the way we always did, but when we weren’t working, we were sneaking off to fool around as much as possible, which usually meant it cut in to when we were supposed to be eating or sleeping. This morning we’d been in the store while everyone was having breakfast. Currently, he had me up against a wall in the hunter’s shack while everyone else was at lunch. 

Someone tried to come in the door to our right, and we froze. We had a chair in front of it, so it wouldn’t open, and we heard Adam say, “Come on, guys! It’s Bobby and me. We need to have a chat.” I went to answer thinking that Dean would put me down, but he kept me right where I was and gave me smirk. 

**“Uh, we’re busy** coming up with plans,” I paused when Dean decided to keep going before adding distractedly, “We’ll be out in a little while.” Dean went back to kissing me until they knocked again, and then moved his lips to hover just over a spot on my neck that I really wanted him to touch. I clung to him, while I said something else to make them go away and almost cracked when his lips connected with their destination. _Yeah, right there._ Dean smiled at my response and whispered a challenge for me to keep it quiet no matter what he did and then pushed in deeper and moved up and down. I almost lost it. 

The more they knocked, the more I struggled with answering them, and he changed it up a little. _Keep doing that . . . don’t stop._ He smiled again, kissed my lips and gave me his tongue while he slid his hand up to my breast, and that felt even better these days than it normally did, because of how sensitive they were. Every time I had to answer one of them, he pulled back just enough for me to answer and then crashed his mouth over mine again. Not bad for something that started off being a quickie to hold us over until tonight when we had more time. 

Eventually, Adam threatened to go get Cas and have him fly them in there. Dean reluctantly pulled away and stared at my mouth, like he couldn’t wait to come back to me. He was so hot with his sex hair, and he was sweating in a good way. I tried to get my breathing under control one last time and told Adam to go find Cas or he could wait and we’d let them in when we were ready. We heard Adam tell Bobby he’d be right back, and Dean immediately landed his mouth over mine and gave my nipple a little pinch. I parted my lips for him even more while I moaned a muffled cry into his mouth, and his tongue took full advantage of it. There was no turning back now. We were both way too into it to stop until we both finished. Trying to keep as quiet as we could with as hungry as we both were for it added to the intensity, so it didn’t take long to for him to push both of us over the edge. 

**Then it** was a race to find my jeans and underwear, while he pulled his up from his ankles and fastened his belt. Dean laid maps and lists and other things around while I sprayed some Febreeze that Dean had come back with from one of his supply runs ages ago, because he said Adam’s feet kept stinking the snow plow and hunter’s shack out. It was meant as a joke . . . kind of . . . Adam got some new boots after that, and whatever problems there had been before that magically disappeared, but it came in pretty useful for now. _Maybe I should open a window too._ When I was done with that, I landed in the chair furthest away from the door and Dean landed opposite me in his chair and tossed me my socks. We did a good job of looking like we were in a deep discussion about our plans when the three of them popped up in the middle of the room. 

Cas looked at Dean, because he obviously knew what we’d been doing with the way he could probably see hormone and pheremone levels or something, but Dean shook his head at Cas to keep him from saying anything . . . Cas knew we were together now . . . like really together and staying that way, but we didn’t keep things from him . . . He understood us on a level other people wouldn’t. We didn’t want to talk about it with anyone else, including Adam and Bobby. Everyone was always watching us. We wanted to be left alone on this one thing, so we could just be what we probably always should have been. This was our time after everything we’d been through to finally be together, and we weren’t going to get much of it before everyone would be able to see the obvious. Cas nodded to let Dean know he understood. Cas being on side made Dean glance at me with a slight grin he tried to hide by looking back down at the maps.

“We wanna know what the hell are you two cookin’ up now!” Bobby yelled as he launched into his tirade. I decided to go first, since I was the one that had kept them out of what didn’t feel quiet like the fortress of solitude at the moment. 

“I, uh, we’re going to go out with Cas to see how many of the people Dean saved when he was hunting are still alive, because the ones in River Pass made it, and there might be more if –“ 

I jumped a little when Bobby shouted, “What the hell is wrong with you two? You ever gonna stay in one place? You just got back from almost 3 months on the road if you count that run you made to Pennsylvania, and now you want to get back out there?!” I curled up in the chair and hugged my knees to my chest. I didn’t particularly care for his tone. It made me angry and sad that he was the one using it with me. _We’ve been back for a week and a half already. That’s long enough._

Us saying we were working on ‘plans’ was a cover for us having sex, but now that I was telling them that we were going out again, it seemed to piss them off more than I’d thought it would, and this was what I was talking about. We were never left alone. Why did they need to form some kind of an intervention, because we kept saying we had to work on plans? 

Adam joined in next. “Do you have any idea what it was like to hear from Chuck that my brother died? Three days. That’s how long it took for him to find out that Dean was going to come back and get you out of there. Sam nearly had you this time.” _Awesome. Adam held that ace up his sleeve until now to really wind Bobby up, because Bobby doesn’t look like he knew about that._

Still, I wouldn’t have liked it if I had to wait 3 days to hear the outcome of what happened to Dean. “I’m sorry you had to go through that, Adam. I wish you’d have said something about it sooner, because I didn’t know Chuck told you that, but it doesn’t change that we’re okay. See . . . both still here . . . and since we are still here, we’re not going to stop looking –“ 

Adam lost his cool and shouted, “I don’t want you to be sorry! I want you to do your fucking job and run this camp the way you’re supposed to be running it. You think you’re acting like a leader right now? You’re acting like you don’t give a damn about everyone left behind here!” 

I refused to fall for that one. “Our job . . . is to save people or there wouldn’t be a camp. We got this place up and running, and we put the right people in charge to keep it going while we’re away. We –“ 

Bobby interrupted me. “are doin’ a lousy job of holdin’ up your end of the bargain. These people are relyin’ on you, and you’re hangin’ all of us out to dry.” 

I almost fell for that one, because it was Bobby, but I didn’t in the end and still managed to keep calm while I said, “That’s not true, and you know it. We’re not going to give up on the people who are still out there. You two are only saying these things, because you’re scared that something’s going to happen to us or –“ 

Adam jumped back in. “Yeah, because if you get taken, then the rest of us are going to die. Do you want that on your conscience?” 

_Uhh._ “Technically, I don’t think I’d have a conscience anymore, because I’d be gone just like –“ 

My joking backfired big time and made Adam erupt. “You know you’re right, you wouldn’t have one, but it’s because you never had one! You let that demon kill my Mom, tossed her down the stairs, like she was garbage, and didn’t look back once . . . what’s the rest of the world matter as long as you get what you want, right?” 

_Has he been holding that against me all this time?_ Cas spoke up and said, “Adam, you should not say –“ 

Adam ignored Cas’s advice and said to Cas, but directed towards me, “I’m not supposed to say what the real problem is? It’s why she’s not like the rest of us. She shouldn’t even be a hunter. She doesn’t have common sense and does stupid shit all the time. It’s her fault Dean died.” I looked down after that. I was aware Dean was on his feet, but I didn’t necessarily think anything of it as Adam focused his anger at him, “ . . . and that soul of hers . . . all those pieces she’s supposed to be rebuilding . . . she must’ve forgotten to add a conscience. It’s the only way she could keep going out there when everywhere you look . . . all that death and destruction is down to her. Ev –“ 

That’s when Adam was abruptly cut off, so I looked up and saw that Dean had shoved him into a wall. “When Cas tells you not to say something . . . Don’t say it. I don’t know what wires got crossed in that head of yours that let you think you could talk to her that way, but you’re done.” Bobby was right there behind Dean trying to intervene, so Dean let Adam go with another little warning shove before he turned around and pushed past Bobby to come over and offer me a hand up. He blocked me from their view and wrapped his arms around me to give me a hug that I’d desperately needed. 

_He shouldn’t have had to do that. I shouldn’t have let it get to me and should’ve taken care of it myself_ . . . but the problem was that Adam was right. I wasn’t a human. I wasn’t anything, and I never would be . . . Even if I did rebuild my soul . . . I still wouldn’t be like them because of the shiney parts. Dean whispered, “Hey . . . think about the start of that Cain prophecy.” He was talking in code, so if they heard him, only I would know what he was talking about. We’d never told anyone else about that prophecy. It wasn’t related to our connection or to the tablets. _Two souls forged in fire and light._ He was tortured in Hell . . . that was the fire part. I was tortured in Heaven. That was the light part. Our souls were screwed up together, so I wasn’t alone. He knew the right things to say without having to say them. 

I didn’t get a chance to calm down much after that, because Bobby caught sight of me and must have figured that me crying was what had set Dean off. “What the hell are ya cryin’ for? We ain’t sayin’ nothin’ that ain’t true! The two of you are selfish. That’s what you are.” 

Dean fielded that one too. “Bobby, what you two are saying is complete bullshit . . . shouldn’t even be a hunter? Well, it’s a good thing neither one of you are goin’ on missions with her again, cuz neither one of you have any idea what she can do . . . there’s nobody on this planet other than Cas that I’d trust to have my back the way she does, and if goin’ out to find more survivors makes us selfish, then I guess we are, but it’s the right thing to do, so we’re doin’ it.” Then he looked at Cas and said, “Can you take her back to the cabin and keep her company?” 

He’d made them think the hunting thing was the real problem to take the emphasis off of my soul. He didn’t want them to ever bring it up again, and he’d let me know he trusted me to be his partner. It wasn’t just because he wanted to be the one to protect me even though that was a big part of it. 

I looked up at Dean and was going to protest being sent away, because I didn’t want to leave him out here to deal with this on his own even if I was a big cry baby, but he smiled at me for a second and said, “I’ll take it from here. You don’t need the stress, and I’ll be in when I’m done. Then we’ll go check on the outposts. Might do you some good to spend some time with Cas anyway.” Judging by the feelings I was picking up off of him, he was feeling super protective. If I stayed, it’d make things worse. Spending time with Cas was always a good thing, so I gave him a nod and left without looking at the other two.

When we got to the cabin, Carrie saw me and asked why I was crying. _Fuck, I don’t know. Because I’m pregnant, and I’ve been doing it more anyway now that I remember what it was like in Heaven?_ Did I say that? No. I said, “Because Adam and Bobby yelled at me for wanting to go save more people,” and cried some more. Cas decided to get me out of there and put his hand on my shoulder, so he could fly me up to my room. 

I laid down on the bed to try and relax. “I’m sorry, Cas. I know this isn’t what you signed on for when you came down here to help us.” 

He pulled up the chair from the desk and sat next to me. “You were right when you said that Bobby and Adam are frightened that harm will come to you and Dean. That’s the reason they’re angry.” Then he put his hand on my shoulder to help me calm down a little faster. It reminded me of how he helped me do the same thing when Dean went to trap Lilith. “Yes, but then you were experiencing anxiety over Dean’s safety. Now you are with child.” I asked him how long he’d known. He said he knew when I got out of the truck after he brought us here almost 2 weeks ago. _Why didn’t he say anything?_ “It wasn’t my place.” I smiled at that. He was so cute. 

I couldn’t read his mind the way he could mine, so when he looked like he had a question, I finally said, “What do you want to know, Cas?” 

“I didn’t know that I was reprogrammed. Do you know why I was sent there?” 

_Why does he think . . . You read Chuck’s prophecies? My nightmare memory is in those._ He nodded. “I don’t know why you were sent there that time, but you were sent to Naomi a lot. I actually found her office the first time because of the first time I saw you. I think I would have been 13. You and your friend Balthazar were snooping around the vaults. Everyone in Heaven knows that only Michael is supposed to have access to the vaults, so you two being in there was a big deal even if it seemed harmless. I stuck around to see what happened. Balthazar got away, but Virgil caught you. You wouldn’t tell him who the other angel that’d been with you was or where he might go, and he really tried to force it out of you. When nothing else worked, he handed you off to some of his guards. I followed from a distance to see where they took you, because I thought maybe they might take you to prison, but they didn’t. They said you were too good of a soldier to be sent there, but your loyalty wasn’t placed where they wanted it to be, so you had to be reprogrammed. I don’t know if you gave Balthazar up after that or not.” 

He smiled briefly. “Balthazar is the friend I told you I had looking into sightings of you over the years. Why didn’t you go to him instead of me for the mission to raise Dean from Hell?” 

_I never really considered him as an option._ “I saw him a few times after that. He wasn’t bad. I don’t think he would have turned me in either, so he would’ve passed the test the same way you did, but I think he wouldn’t have turned me in, because he doesn’t like to be told what to do. I thought Balthazar would get bored after awhile, and that he would have gone to party while the seals were breaking, but you . . . there is a rebellious streak in you too, which is probably why you’re such good friends with him, but you’re more curious than devious, and you’re more loyal to the underdog than self-serving. You do the right thing, because it is the right thing to do, not so you can prove that you are better than your superiors. Dean was the most important thing to me in the universe, so if his soul getting out of Hell and him being kept safe afterwards was going to be in anyone’s hands, there is no other as worthy of that task than you.” Cas looked touched that I said that to him, and it made me tear up. _For fuck’s sake. How long was this crap going to keep happening?_

__“I believe your hormones will be altered most during this time and again towards the end.”_ _

__“It’s so annoying. I wish I could get my emotions under control. I don’t like not being able to control them or how they change every 5 minutes.” I waited a few minutes and then finally said, “Cas, why do you think this baby wasn’t in Chuck’s prophecy? Do you think there will be problems, and it won’t happen? I think Dean has come around to the idea, and I don’t want him to be disappointed if it doesn’t.” I’d gone to check what Chuck’s prophecies said about it, planning to destroy whatever he’d written. I didn’t want anyone or anything to ever know about our child in case that made it a target or any future generations might be made a target the way Sam and Dean’s entire family tree going all the way back to Cain and Abel had been. But it hadn’t been in there._ _

__“I don’t know. It may be that it will not come to pass, or will not be written about until it is born, or maybe it is also being blocked from being written into the story in the same way other things you have known were blocked from Chuck in the past.” Maybe. I was tired of thinking about it. It always seemed to be in the back of my mind._ _

__I decided to take a nap. I didn’t get many of those. When I woke up Cas was gone, and Dean was back. He’d let me sleep longer than I’d intended. When he saw that I was awake, he grinned and got up from the desk where he’d been going over my actual list of his previous hunting saves instead of the empty notebook we had in the fortress of solitude._ _

__When he sat on the bed next to me, he asked, “Did you sic Carrie on Adam?”_ _

__“She may have asked why I was crying, and I may have told her, because ‘Adam and Bobby yelled at me for wanting to save more people’.”_ _

__He laughed and said, “We were working on a compromise, and she came flying in the door and went right up to Bobby. Told him to shut it and then laid into Adam and finished it off by telling him she didn’t want his help training Jasper anymore, and if he tried, she’d turn Jasper loose on him. It was hilarious, and then he had to go chasing after her when she stormed back out.”_ _

__I smiled and sat up, so we could get ready to go to the outposts. “He must like her if he let her dress him down in front of you, but I take it you already figured that out and are thinking of ways to give him a hard time about it.” By the gleam in his eyes, I’d say the ribbing of Adam for that had already started._ _

__“What kind of a compromise?” I asked after finally catching that part of his story._ _

__“Uh, you and me are gonna do this mission, and we’re takin’ Adam with us to see if we can do a salt and burn on Crowley’s bones, and then you and me are gonna hang around here for a few months.” _Right. It’s so much harder to pretend that this isn’t happening when plans like that are put in place._ I kept going back and forth on being okay with it and terrified of it._ _

__“You’re staying here too?” I asked standing up._ _

__“Yeah, why not? Was thinking maybe you could keep me company while I finish the wall on that outpost, and we could move out there.” _Really?_ The thought of it made me really happy. _ _

__“Can we turn it into a snow village? That’s what I picture when I . . . what?”_ _

__He smiled and said, “Nothin’,” before he leaned down to kiss me, and . . ._ How much time do we have?_ He laughed. “Not enough . . . think I’m seeing the upside to you being hormonal though.” _Glad somebody is. It’s driving me crazy._


	45. Nightmare Exes

“I was thinking. We have people who have an arial view of what’s going on down here, so it would be faster and more accurate if we gave them the list and had them look. Some of the people we’re looking for might’ve moved or left town after the outbreak.” Beth looked up to the ceiling before she added, “and maybe this would remind them what it’s like to fight to save people again.” 

Dean wasn’t listening. He was sitting on the bed, going through his messages on his old phones that he’d plugged in now that she had decided this was something they should do. The more he listened to the messages, the worse he felt. Some of the people he’d saved on hunts had called him for help, but he hadn’t checked these for a long time . . . he hadn’t thought to leave a voice mail on them saying to call the sat phone before the batteries died, and he hadn’t recharged them after that first supply run he went on with Adam. He could hear the croats in the background of some of the messages, which meant the person calling was already in trouble, and he wouldn’t have made it to them in time, but he could’ve told them what to do and where to go and then picked them up later. They’d been counting on him, and he’d let them down. 

Beth crouched down in front of him and put her hands on his knees to get his attention. “You don’t know that they’re gone just because some of the messages don’t sound great. They were already survivors of their own hunting stories. If they made it through those and had a general idea of what it’s like to deal with the supernatural, they probably knew what it would take to get out of it. They just wanted you for reassurance on getting it done, because you’re who was there in the past, but when you didn’t answer, they had to figure it out themselves.” 

She could be intentionally naïve when she wanted to be, so he started to disagree with her, and it made her snap at him. “Were all the people you saved brain dead when you left them? That’s the only way I could see that they wouldn’t have been able to figure it out. We picked up 10 kids who got away from trading posts by themselves and were surviving out there in a harsh environment alone, so those 10 kids could do it, but people who were full-grown adults and left those messages couldn’t . . . Sorry. I didn’t mean that.” She rested her forehead on his knee, and he snorted silently before shaking his head. 

She hadn’t snapped at him yet, but he’d been waiting for it, because she’d done it to a few people in the last couple of days. He needed to let her know it was all right, or she’d probably start crying. She hated this. He thought the whole thing was kind of funny. “Some of ‘em were brain dead before we rolled into town. Not too sure how many ended up that way after we left.” She looked up at him with with a teary-eyed smile, launched herself at him, and crashed her mouth over his before knocking him backwards on the bed. This hormone thing she had goin’ on had its perks too. He was lovin’ this side of things.

The next night, they were in a secure location that Cas had brought them to in Canada. They couldn’t do this near the camp. Whoever Pamela contacted might be able to figure out where it was located, and if it wasn’t someone they wanted to contact, it could cause problems. Dean and Beth were sitting next to each other across the table from Pamela. Cas stayed along the sidelines. He was curious to see how this whole séance thing worked. It looked like Pamela was ready to get started. “So, which one are we trying to reach?” 

“Try for my Mom then Dad, then Jo and Ellen.” Beth had told Dean that he could choose. He’d never turn down a chance to talk to his Mom again, and his Dad might be able to add more names to their list if he had people he’d saved over the years that he wanted them to check out. Jo and Ellen needed to be reminded how to put up a fight, and they were hunters with their own saves, so they were the next best options. The first person they got to come through was none of them. 

Pamela did her thing and everything was quiet until she said, “Um . . . I’ve got an angry one here that wants to talk to Beth.” 

Dean looked at Beth, and she sighed. “Go ahead and let her tell me what she has to say.” Rachel. This is why they weren’t at the camp. Pamela’s posture changed, and she looked at Beth with pure hatred. “Well, if it isn’t the bitch who knows how to stack the deck in her favor and still manages to fuck up the universe.” Then she looked at Dean and added, “Bet you’re wishin’ it’d been me that was left down here instead of her.” 

Dean shook his head with a quick laugh. “She did me a favor getting rid of you, sweetheart.” 

Beth smiled briefly at his comment, and Rachel directed her focus back to Beth. “You think that’s funny? Wait and see what Sammy has planned for you, and then you won’t think it’s fucking funny. You think what he did to you in that bathtub was bad? He’s gonna do a whole lot worse to you the next time, and since I can’t see shit from up here, he’s gonna let me be there to watch. He’d do anything for me. I’m all he’s got now.” 

Rachel paused to let that sink in, and Beth tightened her hand in his to tell him not to say anything. Rachel was talking to Beth, but she was baiting him, so Dean took a breath and let it go. Pamela’s expression changed to one of satisfaction as a thought occurred to Rachel, and then she said, “You might have that body now, but you don’t know how to work it the way it should be. I did, and boy did I break it in for you. First time was when I was 15 in a barn with Doug, Dave, James . . . Don’t even remember his name. He’s dead now thanks to you, so it doesn’t matter. And there were so many more after that, but Dean . . . he and I used to fuck all the time, didn’t we Dean? Not that he was enough, because I used to fuck as many as I could when I was with him too.” 

_Awesome . . . now Beth’s blocking me. Rachel’s such a bitch._ It wasn’t something he and Beth ever really talked about even though they both knew it. Lust was one of the 7 deadly sins after all . . . but then when it came right down to it . . . he knew that nothing about Beth’s body was the same as when Rachel had it. Gabriel made it so Beth’s body was hers when he turned her into a little kid and had her start back over during those 4 months, and now Dean was grateful that Gabriel had done that . . . that 4 months that felt like 35 years for Beth was a good buffer between her soul and Heaven and her body and Rachel. 

Dean thought Beth thought of it the same way, but he didn’t know why she was blocking him now. It’d make it so much easier if he could get a good read on her. It cut awkward or potentially upsetting things like this out, because he could head it off before it became a problem. That’s what he was thinking when Rachel turned her head towards him and said, “But I know something you don’t know . . . that body she’s in had Sam in it too. You think your last night before Hell we were just boo hooing over you? Nuh uh. I couldn’t have cared less if you were going to Hell the next day. Me and Sammy were gonna start somethin’ new. And that night . . . that night was good. Better than you, or anybody else, and I got a taste of what I could be havin’ after you were finally gone and then you,” she said turning back to face Beth, “fucked that all up by havin’ me killed the next day.” 

_Uhh . . . explains Sam always goin’ on about Rachel being dead . . . never thought the Sam he was then would do my girlfriend the night before I died . . . not surprised at Rachel. She probably wore him down . . . was probably after him all three years she was with us . . . Wasn’t really with her anyway, so it doesn’t matter . . . unless it upsets Beth. I’ve gotta work on what I’m gonna say to her after Rachel’s gone._

Dean’s attention was drawn back to Beth when she said, “What a let down. You’ve had almost 2 years to come up with something in response to what I said to you on that park bench, and the best you can do is say Sam’s going to torture me, you want to watch, you used to sleep with Dean, and you slept with Sam? Not much to it is there? No response to why I’m the original, and you’re not? No response to how if you’d done the job the way you were supposed to do it, then I wouldn’t have had to take you out? I’ll tell you what I’ve figured out in that time -” 

“You’re not as smart as you think you are. You only think you’re smart, because you’re with him all the time, and he’s a moron. I doubt you’ve figured out much, but lay it on me. Let’s see what you’ve got, and see if it can make up for when I . . . ” 

While Rachel kept yapping away on the details of apparently every guy on her list, Dean worked on what to say after Rachel was gone. Rachel’s body had been Rachel’s, and Beth’s was all Beth’s, and he could back that up by saying . . . by saying that Beth didn’t looked like Rachel . . . maybe he could have Cas go get a picture of Rachel from Bobby’s old place and show it to Beth as proof . . . It was like Beth’s body was tied to her soul, because the more her soul was fixed, the hotter she got. Rachel was like an attractive cousin that sort of looked like her hot cousin and spent her whole life trying to live up to those looks but never would. But Beth was more than gorgeous. She was his friend. He could still have fun with her even after the world went to hell. They had great sex without it messing everything else up. She was smart and a great hunter and clumsy and funny. She wanted to be with him. And she did make good pie. She was the whole package, and she was having a kid with him. That’s what he was thinking when there was a break in Rachel’s speech that Beth utilized to say, “I know you’re really working for Raphael, not with Sam.” 

He wasn’t expecting that, but it looked like Rachel expected it even less, because she shut up. Beth smiled and started her attack. “What happened in Wyoming was a clusterfuck for all the big bads, wasn’t it? Sam and Crowley lost me at the gate, but then after Dean died, you found me and were able to tell Raphael where I was for the first time in a long time. Michael must have some angels on Raphael’s side that knew you saw me and told Michael where I was, or I’d be with Raphael right now, and I’m not, because the angels that Raphael has on Michael’s side told him that Michael was watching his every move. If Raphael had so much as sneezed, Michael would’ve come for me himself, and he would’ve gotten there first, because he’s bigger, stronger and faster than anyone else. I’m willing to bet that’s part of why Michael didn’t want Dean to come back this time. How can he do his job of keeping me from his brother if he doesn’t know where I am when Dean’s around and Cas won’t return his calls?” Beth paused when Cas started to interrupt, but Dean shook his head subtly to tell him not to do it, because this wasn’t the time. She had the floor, and he didn’t want to give Rachel a way back into the conversation. He wanted to see where this was going. They could talk about it later. 

“You sent Sam in as the ground troops to pick me up, but then Joshua let Dean come back, and you all lost me again. Now you still need Sam, because he’s your eyes and ears on the ground. You might want Sam to interrogate me in front of you, but mostly it’s so you can offer a solution to a problem he’s going to have. No matter what he does to me, he can’t kill me, or he won’t get what he wants. So, what’s the plan? You’re going to give him a super-special-secret sigil he has to use to do something ‘oh so much worse’ to me without killing me, or maybe you’ll say that it can heal me, so he can start over again, but it won’t do either of those things. It’ll really take me straight to Raphael, since he has the other half of my soul, or maybe it’ll override those angel wards Sam’s got up all over Vegas, so Raphael can swoop in to grab me before Michael knows what’s happening,” Beth paused while she analyzed Rachel’s reaction to that and then said, “So, it’ll get rid of the angel wards . . . good to know, sis.” 

Beth nailed that one. Rachel didn’t even react to being called her sister. “You don’t know what you’re talking about, Beth. I’m -“ 

Beth sat back like she was the one in control and rolled right over whatever Rachel was going to say. “I’m sure by now you know that a soul recognizes its other half even from up there . . . I knew the first time I saw you that there was something wrong with you. I had to find out what it was, and now I know what you are . . . They turned you into a psychic vampire.” Dean watched Beth and was about 50/50 on whether she was telling the truth or making shit up. 

Rachel made a face at Beth that made it look like she thought Beth was an idiot, but before she could say anything Beth continued, “Psychic vampires use the 7 deadly sins as their weapons to ensnare those around them, and then they feed on the life force of their victims. You did it to your Dad. You were wrathful over small things and wouldn’t talk to him until he felt guilty and tried to make it up to you, so that’s what you got a taste for . . . guilt. From the sounds of things, I’d say every guy you used your lust on was a married man or someone attached, so your hunger for guilt grew. No offense to Dean, but you hit the motherload on guilt when you met him. The last night you had with Sam . . . it was only the best you ever had, because you kept pushing it and reminding him that Dean probably wouldn’t make it . . . He was feeling plenty of guilt with a healthy dash of fear over the thought of losing Dean . . . Sam feeling both of those at the same time was the perfect storm for you . . . Think back to all those times that Dean or Sam had to step in when you didn’t push yourself hard enough to save a victim . . . You didn’t do that, because you were taking care of your own safety first. You did it, because you got off on the victim’s fear. You would’ve gone for the killing option soon enough . . . That taste for fear . . . the real kind of fear that comes just before a violent death . . . that’s what leads your kind down the path of killing. You can’t exactly feed that way anymore because you're not exactly alive, but you’ve found a way around that . . . It started when you were able to feed off of Sam’s suffering during his second detox . . . It’s why you scared him when he saw you. It wasn’t because you were weak with half a soul. It was because he saw your true form. And now you’re feeding off of the fear of the ones he tortures and kills . . . I’d say you spend a lot of time in Vegas when you can get him to summon you there, and it has nothing to do with keeping an eye on him for Raphael. It’s because you feel like you’re starting fade, and that’s the only thing that makes you feel alive.” Beth paused for effect, and Rachel was working it over in her head, but all she could do was shake her head. That wasn’t like Rachel . . . Wasn’t like Rachel to hear Beth out either. What Beth said had struck a nerve in a big way. Why? Unless Rachel knew something was wrong with her . . . No, she had to be a human. He wouldn’t have been with a monster for 3 years and not known about it . . . he’d known her for like 6 or 7 years. There was no way.

Beth leaned forward again with that look she got when she went for the kill and said, “You should be in Purgatory, Rachel . . . There haven’t been very many true psychic vampires, even though people like to toss that term around down here a lot. In order to create one, you take a human soul and tear it in half. You take the weaker half that’s searching to fill the void left by the original soul, and you twist it into becoming one. Cas thought we were the first soul ripped in half, but we weren’t, which means there was some very rare lore up there in Heaven’s libraries that I was able to find . . . I know how to kill you two different ways. I don’t even have to be up there to do it, so you won’t see it coming. You won’t find the texts I found, because I destroyed them, not that you could’ve read them, because they were in Enochian. You won’t be able to protect yourself from –“ 

Beth stopped when Pamela came back as herself. Looks like Rachel made a break for it. As soon as she was gone, Dean leaned in to Beth’s shoulder. “How much of that was true?” She gave him a small shrug. _That isn’t an answer. Why is she blocking me on this?_

“How about we focus lover boy? She’s gone, so now we can get to some of the ones you wanted.” Pamela glanced at Beth before she added, “I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to shake her. That half a soul thing threw a kink in the way it’s supposed to work. Thanks for saying what you did even if I can’t even tell how much of it was genuine or not with the way you’re blocking me. You’ve got a talent for that. Don’t lose it. I have the feeling you’ll need it again some time.” Dean didn’t like the sound of that, but Beth seemed all right with it, like she was expecting that she’d need it. 

Beth stood up from the table and said, “I need some fresh air. I’ll be back in 5.” Dean stayed in there for a minute or two before he turned to Cas. “Do you know? Was she tellin’ the truth?” 

Cas shook his head. “She blocked me too.” She came back 5 minutes later, and it looked like they were talking to his Mom next, which Dean was looking forward to the most, so he pushed the rest aside and would deal with it later.


	46. The Dead Hunters Society

_Keep blocking what you’re thinking from Dean. Look at Cas to make sure it’s blocked from everyone. Cas gives the signal that you’re okay . . . All systems are go . . .This is the one I’m looking forward to the least._ I’d met Dean’s Dad, and he was easy once he realized he didn’t have to kill me, but then he had mellowed according to Bobby and Dean. Meeting his Mom? Yikes. He thought the world of her. She must think the world of him, and I’m the trollop that let her son knock me up. _What’d Dean just ask her? My thoughts are all over the place. Get it together, Beth._

_Shit. I missed that too. What the hell are they talking about now? No, she couldn’t mean that._ “What? That can’t be right.” 

“What’d you expect some people would do when they got desperate?” Dean asked it like he thought I was naïve.

Maybe I was because I answered, “I don’t know . . . find a superstore and camp out there? Live off canned or dried foods, since plenty of both of those things are still out there? Not start a freaking human farm where they can start turning themselves into Wendigos this early in the game.” I had one more thing I needed to know, but I already had a good idea of how I’d want to handle this. I needed a location. “Where is this farm?” 

Mary looked at Dean before she spoke to me and said, “Just North of Bismark, and they’re not wendigos . . . but you should still be careful when you go to get Gwen.” 

_Meh, I’m treating them like wendigos._ Dean didn’t like that. “So, that’s it . . . you’ve already decided they’re monsters. What if they’ve had no other choice?” 

I bit my bottom lip in thought before I shook my head. “Being just north of Bismark, North Dakota isn’t exactly the Donner Pass. If they’re able to go out to pick up survivors for dinner, then they should’ve been able to make it to stores for food . . . it’s not like survivors are easy to find. But let’s say they are trapped there for whatever reason, and they aren’t going out to find survivors, but the survivors are all coming to them for whatever reason . . . do you think people running a farm like that could be rehabilitated? I suspect they have a thrill for the hunt of other humans now . . . and they know what they’re doing if they could kill three seasoned Campbell family hunters and kidnap a fourth . . . and if they really think this Soylent Green farm is the way forward for generations to come . . . it has to be sustainable, so we’re talking some kind of breeding program like our own farms have set up for chickens, cows, and sheep.” 

Dean’s face grew grim before he looked at his Mom to see if I could be right, and she said, “Whatever you find there won’t be pleasant. It’s why I said you need to be careful.” Yeah, that was an understatement. She could’ve given us better warning than that.

Dean told her we’d go get Gwen and deal with the rest once we saw it for ourselves, and she suddenly asked if he remembered when he and Sam had gone to their old house in Lawrence to deal with the poltergeist. He told her he did, so she said she’d forgotten about them until John found her and jogged her memory by filling her in on what’d been happening since she’d been gone. They’d heard that the world was ending, and she’d checked their family home. That family had still been there. They were with Missouri now. 

I guess around the time of the Croat outbreak, Missouri started calling people in her list of contacts to warn them what was coming and had saved her own little group of people who were all associated with Lawrence in one way or another. They were in Maine somewhere near the coast. 

_Psychics . . . I wonder how many more are out there . . . one idea at a time. Let’s find Dean’s survivors first._ Mary wasn’t sure where anybody else was off the top of her head, but what she’d given us was a start. Dean asked her to take the first 10 names on the list in front of Pamela and see if she could find out where they were. We’d talk to her again and find out if she’d found any of them after we checked out the leads she gave us. 

When she looked at the list, she smiled, like she was proud. “There are a lot here, so I’ll look into the first 20 and have them for you in a few days.” She memorized them, and then looked up at Dean. “Don’t get your hopes up.” 

He deflated a little and looked down at the table. “I’m not the one who has my hopes up. I think they’re all gone. Beth’s the one that wants to see if there are any out there.” 

_Why’s she looking at me like she wants an explanation on why I feel the need to do this to her son?_ “I think that even if there are only a handful of them left, that’s better than thinking that everything he has worked and sacrificed for his entire life was for nothing. Like that family that used to live in your old house. That’s 3 that are still out there because of something he and Sam did while they were hunting.” 

Dean stole my attention by saying, “You gonna keep stretching it to fit what you want?” _Stretching it? Sure Missouri technically got the save for them after the virus hit, but if they hadn’t met Missouri in the first place, she wouldn’t have called them._

“I’m not stretching it. Yours and Sam’s actions directly resulted in that woman meeting Missouri, and that’s why they’re still alive. It’s like I said, the victims that you saved on those hunts had the means to know how to survive after the Croat virus because of what they learned about the supernatural from you and Sam, and that includes listening to Missouri.” I found it heartbreaking that he thought everything he worked so hard to do before the virus happened had been undone after it, and he needed to know that wasn’t necessarily true. 

“Well, then I guess I’ll take 3. It’s better than none, but you’re the one that needs to not get your hopes up. I already know how it’s gonna go.” 

He was only accepting those 3 to make me feel better about it, not because he believed he had anything to do with it, so to further my point I said, “56. Not 3. You forgot about River Pass. They wouldn’t be here if you hadn’t taken the ring from the Horseman of War, so they’re a win from when you were hunting, and you forgot about Ben, because you saved him from the changeling.” 

Mary stopped Dean from denying it. “56 it is. If you’re going to take the blame on the losses, then you need to take the wins too, Dean.” She smiled at him again when he looked away and nodded even though he didn’t agree with it. “I’ll start looking into these names and let you know what I find.” Then she was gone, and Pamela was back. 

Dean asked if I wanted to take another break outside for a few minutes, so I followed him out. “Is that why you’re doing this? You don’t want me to think it was all a waste?” 

_Isn’t it obvious?_ “I probably would have suggested it sooner except I didn’t want to do it if there weren’t going to be any left, and then we came back from the last mission, and the people in River Pass were there. It got me thinking. They made it, and they were an absolute mess when we rolled into town. I thought about Ben, and how he wouldn’t be here if Lisa hadn’t known enough to keep him hidden for as long as she did in a place she shouldn’t have been able to survive for more than a few hours. I knew there had to be others, and your Mom just told us about 3 more.” 

He wrapped his arms around me, and I realized I’d needed it, because it’d been a lot more stressful talking to dead people than I’d thought it’d be, but then he said, “I’ve already accepted that they’re gone. I don’t want you to be disappointed if we don’t find anymore,” and I realized he was giving me a hug to try and prepare me for the worst, because he was worried I’d be upset if that happened. 

Maybe it was better for him to not get his hopes up only for them to crash and burn, and that was probably a healthier way of going into this venture than how I was going into it, but I still said, “For every one we find, I bet you that there are more that have been saved by them that wouldn’t have been saved otherwise. It won’t make up for the ones we don’t find, but you’ll finally have a chance to see what sort of an impact you being a hunter has had on other people’s lives that you never even met.” 

“I don’t get why this is so important to you, but I’ll go with it . . . and I’ll take that bet.” I didn’t know why I thought it was so important either, especially if he’d accepted it. Maybe I thought they were still out there and needed our help, so we couldn’t leave them hanging. Maybe I wanted to make something better for him, even if he didn’t talk about it bothering him, just because I wanted to make something better for him, or maybe it was because he’d accepted it that I wanted it to be different. Maybe it was all of that or maybe it was my hormones. Who knows? 

I grinned and said, “Okay, whoever loses has to tell Gabriel he’s going to be a grandfather,” before I backed away, and Dean said he’d already planned on having me do that, so when he won, he’d just be getting something he was already going to get. _Uhhh, I don’t think so._ “Well, that’s news to me, so it doesn’t count, because I never planned on doing that one alone.” 

After that, we got to talk to John. John was going to check on the victim’s he’d saved that Dean had in a separate list he’d made from his Dad’s journal. John was also going to find Rachel, so he could hand her over to Michael, because she was clearly out of her Heaven again if she was contacting Sam regularly. She was a pain in the ass. 

Before John left, I wanted to give him some tips. “John, you should go to the garden where you saw Dean and ask Joshua to set up a meeting with Michael first . . . You should have a better relationship with him than anyone, because you were his vessel twice. Ask for an all access behind the scenes pass to try and find her, but stay away from any angels you see except Michael, Joshua, and an angel named Balthazar. You won’t know who the rest are working for back there.” 

We all looked at Cas to confirm that John could trust the three angels I’d said, and he agreed, so after that, John went off on his mission. Jo and Ellen each took 10 names from Dean’s list, and they were going to look into people they’d saved while they were hunters on top of that. I finally got to apologize to Jo for getting she and her mom killed. She shrugged and said she and her Mom didn’t fight about anything now, since her mom didn’t have to worry about her being killed anymore. _I guess that’s one way to look at it._

When I apologized to Ellen, she told me that she’d chosen to go running out towards Lucifer without thinking about it, so that was on her. She said, she’d often wondered if her doing that was what led to Sam killing Jo, and she said she thought all of us could keep going round and round about it, but at the end of the day, there was nobody to blame for the way they died except for Lucifer, who was dead, and Sam, who she wasn’t going to get into with us now, because she said we had enough of our own problems to deal with concerning him. She finished by saying, she was still looking for Bill, but if she didn’t find him, she’d try to find any people she could remember that he’d saved too. 

Maybe this whole thing was also a good way for all of the hunters that had already died to see that their lives weren’t for nothing. Even if just one or two of the people they’d saved were still alive . . . that was something. I may have started it for Dean, but it would help them too. They needed to be in the fight, because they had just as much to lose as we did, so maybe this was a way to pull them back into it.


	47. Wendigo Farm Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is gory and disturbing in parts.

Dean and I were staking out the farm his Mom sent us to in North Dakota, and he leaned over to whisper his reservations about me being there for probably the twentieth time. “I don’t think you should be here.” 

“I don’t think you should be here either . . . but that’s not gonna change it for either of us, is it?” I watched through my binoculars as 6 men left the barn with empty buckets and an empty wheel borrow. They’d gone in not long after we got there about half an hour ago. 

Dean leaned closer and quickly said, “I’m not the one . . . you know.” 

I smiled, but kept watching the farm and countered that by saying, “One, you already said I could do this until I’m showing, so I thought I had at least that long until you started giving me a hard time about it, and two, I know they’re more dangerous than monsters, because I know humans are unpredictable. You don’t have to worry about me holding back on them if it means making sure you don’t get eaten by humans,” before I looked at him. _He looks good . . . really good . . . Stop it. Now isn’t the time. You’ve got cannibals to deal with right now._

I’d had Cas drop us off to look for food or demons in Bismark. We’d found one of those things, and it wasn’t demons, so they had a supply of food nearby and no demons to keep them from getting it. Dean thought they were getting their food from there and trading the humans they found to either monsters for protection or to demons for protection. I still thought they were eating them . . . the whole set up felt more Chainsaw Massacre to me. Both of us were kind of right and kind of wrong, but we didn’t know that yet. 

Cas popped up next to Dean in the trench we’d made in the snow and said he’d gotten Pamela back to our camp okay. She’d come here with us to help us get a read on the place. Bad vibes were obvious what she picked up, but she also told us not to go in the front or back of the barn, because booby traps were set up on either side of the doors and along the center isle, so we were going in through the windows in the loft. We were waiting until dark, which it almost was, and we’d sent her back because she was too important to lose, and so she could tell the people in our camp what they’d need to have ready when we brought the prisoners home if the prisoners were in as bad of shape as I suspected they were. 

I took a deep breath when I saw two of the men walking back out towards the barn. _This feels wrong. They don’t have buckets._ They came back out a few minutes later dragging a woman who was struggling with them the whole way back to the house. _Bollocks._ We’d have to split up and get this moving earlier than planned. 

Dean grabbed my hand when I went to stand and asked if I was sure I didn’t want to stay in the trench. _Of course I don’t want to stay in the trench._ Dean responded with a sighed before he looked at Cas. “Cas, can you drop us off at the loft in the barn before you go get that woman they just took into the house. Do whatever you have to do to get her out of there before they can kill her, but try to give us as much time as you can, so we can get the ones in the barn out. She wasn’t wearin’ shoes, so just take her back to our camp instead of bringin’ her here, and then come back to us in the barn.” Originally, we’d planned on bringing them out and leaving them together in a group at the trench until we could take them all back at once, but he was right. They couldn’t be out here in no shoes or what thin clothes with no coats. 

Dean and I were in the barn loft a few seconds later, and . . . _oh, those fucking farmers are going right to the top of my kill list._ Or they would when I got the nausea that hit me at the smell of the place under control. Normally, I could handle that sort of a thing, but how do you handle the smell of toxic levels of fecal matter, urine, blood, guts, and rotting flesh? 

The pens they had the people in down below were never cleaned out from the look and smell of things. The chains on the people were causing infection to set in on their wrists and ankles, and that added to the smell. The slop buckets down in the pens were full of human entrails in some of the pens, and I didn’t want to look at what the others were eating after I saw that. 

_They’re making their prisoners eat other prisoners. Yuck._ I thought I almost had control over the nausea but then saliva built up in my mouth, and I had to go over and stand near the wall away from the side of the loft to try and get some kind of fresh air. Dean came up behind me and asked me if I was all right, so I took a big breath to answer him, which was a mistake, because I gagged and had to put my hand on one of the rafters to support myself . . . Luckily, I didn’t throw up. _Okay, just like with pain focus on something else._

I got it under control, but stayed where I was while I tried to keep it together and nodded. “A lot of them are eating it you know . . . I don’t know what we’re gonna do with them once we get them back to camp. They’re gonna be messed up.” Talking about what I saw at least helped me not focus on the smell. 

“Yeah, I know. Let’s get them out of here, and we’ll deal with it later.” 

_Deep breath . . . you’ve got this now. Get moving._ I turned and gave him a weak smile. “We should take the first pen on the far right . . . the 8 in there weren’t eating . . . some of the others in the next pen weren’t eating either. The ones not eating are less likely to have Stockholm Syndrome and sympathize with their captors, so they won’t alert the farmers that we’re here. We can’t let the others see us until we set those two pens free, and then we can move on from there.” 

The way I was acting was making him nervous. He needed me to be at my best now that we were already in the barn. He didn’t draw attention to it. Instead he gave me a compliment by saying that I was getting good at scoping a place out in a few seconds. _Yeah, I’m a regular fucking spy with morning sickness brought on by the smell of human entrails._ As soon as I thought that, Dean relaxed because he finally got what was wrong with me. 

I took another deep breath without feeling sick and said, “Guess you don’t have to worry about me craving human remains while I’m pregnant,” so he’d know we could move forward with this. He didn’t say anything but he did give me a brief smile before he turned to lead the way as we prowled over to the far right side of the loft. 

We watched for a few minutes . . . nobody down there had seen that we were there or heard us. Dean was going to go first, and if he got down there without being seen by the other pens that seemed preoccupied with their dinners, I’d come down too. He leaned over the side closest to the wall, swung himself down, and landed on top of the pen gate before he jumped down into the pen. The people looked terrified of him, and started to back away and beg him to stay away from them. He put his finger up to his mouth to silently shoosh them and his other hand up in a gesture meant to let them know he didn’t mean them harm. 

They were still panicking. They were practically hysterical and getting louder. _Oh for fuck’s sake._ I watched the other pens, and they hadn’t noticed yet, but they would soon, so I made my move and joined Dean down below. As soon as I landed in the pen, I whispered in annoyance, “Shut up. If you want them to hear and know you’re about to get away, than keep making a scene . . . otherwise be quiet and help us by letting us know how many people are holding you here.” Dean gave me a weird look, because I was being insensitive to clearly traumatized people, so I whispered, “I can be nice to them later. I want to get the hell out of here without becoming Hannibal Lecter’s entrée.” I looked down at the people still cowering on the ground away from us. “Sorry . . . the take home point is we’re getting you out of here.” _Okay . . . let’s get this over with as soon as possible. The ammonia is starting to make my eyes water._

I crouched down in front of the woman to my left, and she still tried to back away from me, so I pulled out my lock pick and showed it to her until she got that it wasn’t a knife. When she did, she nodded hesitantly for me to continue, but still kept a close eye on me. I got the shackle off around her ankle, and it had rubbed her raw, but she hadn’t been here long enough for it to be infected. _Must be why she hasn’t succumbed to eating the disgusting mass of grossness in the slop bucket at the front of the pen._

I finally got the cuff around her wrist off, and she started crying and reached up to pull me into a hug I couldn’t get out of while she thanked me over and over again. I glanced at Dean. He was getting a similar response on the other side of the pen, and it kind of broke my heart to see these people like this. “I’m sorry I was so abrupt a few minutes ago. We’ll get you out of here . . . we have an angel on standby, and he’ll take you to our camp where you’ll be safe, but I need to get to the other 6 in here, so we can be ready when he gets back, okay.” She nodded and let go, so I moved on to the next one who was a man, so his hug took longer to get out of after I got his restraints off. 

Dean and I finished around the same time, so I asked him if he thought Cas would take much longer. “I don’t know. He’s buying us time to get around and let the other ones out.” 

One of the men along the back wall drew our attention. “Not the ones in the far pen. They’re nearly as bad as the ones in the house. They’ve been here the longest. They’re sort of like pets.” _Oh, that’s not good._

Dean crouched down in front of one of the women he’d helped. “You know anyone named Gwen? She would’ve been brought in a couple weeks ago.” 

The woman shook her head and one of the men said, “If she was pretty, she’s in the house . . . they keep them in the basement.” Dean and I looked at one another. We didn’t have to say what that meant to know what the other was thinking. 

“Any idea how many are down there?” I asked looking at the people around us. 

They all shook their heads, but the first women I’d helped volunteered to say a little more. “No, but there are about 13 -14 that are keeping us here if that helps.” 

I smiled and said that helped a lot. Dean nodded towards the next pen, and we climbed over the wall that separated it from this one, so we didn’t have to worry about booby-traps along the main isle. We went through the same thing there that we had in the first pen with the almost unbridled fear they had of us and then the appreciation of being feed, except they’d been there longer and to survive they’d had to eat . . . but they absolutely hated it, and you could tell they’d be permanently fucked up from that experience. 

When we were done, Dean pulled me towards the front of the stall, so we could have a little privacy. “I don’t want you to go in the house. I want you to stay out here with them if Cas isn’t back yet by the time we’re done, and then I want you to go back to the camp with him.” _I know he’s really having a hard time with me being here, but I’m not leaving this farm without him._

“We’re still going to Missouri’s place after this . . . If, and that’s a big ‘if’ . . . If Cas isn’t back yet, then I’ll stay out here, but I’m not going home without you. We still have 2 more pens to check . . . and a 3rd that’s to be determined, so let’s worry about doing that first.” 

One of the men said we shouldn’t bother with the rest. He said being here had changed them, and they’d never be good again. He leaned forward and whispered, “They like it . . . even the ones that aren’t in the far pen like it. They won’t eat anything else. I’ve seen the guys running this place offer them normal food or a live prisoner –“ He cut himself off as he welled up with tears and then said, “I’ve seen and heard ‘em tear people apart live.” He coughed to clear his throat and tried to reign it back in before he added, “When a person is too skinny . . . The men running this place throw the person to them and watch . . . never seen ‘em turn down eating a person in favor of something else.” _Well, fuck._

“Even?” I asked pointing a thumb at the pen next to theirs on the right. Every one of the 9 prisoners in this pen sat back against the walls and nodded their heads solemnly at me. 

“And the woman they just took in the house? She’s from which pen?” _I hope we didn’t just have Cas take a rabid cannibal back to our camp._

They nodded to the pen we’d just come from before one of the women said, “The people in that pen get taken the most, because they haven’t given into it yet . . . they’ll have to eventually, or they’ll die . . . we eat enough to just survive barely, so we last until the ones in that pen are gone . . . The worst thing is,” she paused as she teared up. “We know that’s how the others got started . . . that if we keep it up, we’ll end up like them . . . but what else were we supposed to do?” 

_I have no idea._ “Uhh . . . well, now that we’re getting you out of here, maybe you could all go vegetarian for a little while and sign up for our new counseling for cannibals program?” A couple of them laughed, and they all seemed to relax a little. I don’t know why. I was being serious. Dr. Thomas had her work cut out for her.

“What do you wanna do?” I whispered after turning so Dean and I had our backs to them. He’d been unusually quiet. He bit his thumbnail in thought before he turned around and asked these people if they knew how many prisoners were in the house. A woman said she’d been in there before and when she was there it was like 20-25. 

He turned his back to them again and thought for another minute before saying, “I’m goin’ in. You stay in this pen and wait for Cas like you said you would. See what you think about the rest when these two pens are gone, and if you think they’ll be all right, we’ll bring ‘em back, but if not, we’ll leave ‘em.” 

_So, kill them if they’re not all right, but not until everyone we’ve already let loose is gone, so they don’t think we’ll do the same thing to them . . . just making sure we’re on the same page._ Dean glanced at me and gave me a nod. We had enough to deal with out there. We didn’t need to add 30 new wendigos to the mix. That decided, Dean climbed back over to the first stall and told them I was stickin’ around to keep them safe, but he was heading into the house to get the people in there out before he climbed back up into the loft and went out one of the windows up there.

Cas got there 10 minutes later and scared the hell out of the people in the first stall, so I climbed up on the divide between the two pens and explained he was the angel that would be taking them back to our camp. They hadn’t thought I meant a real angel, so some of them began crying tears of joy before he started taking them 2 and 3 at a time to Wisconsin. After all the ones we’d let go were gone, I sent him to go help Dean and took a deep breath while I looked at the wall between the second and third stalls. _Not looking forward to this._

I took my angel blade out of my thigh sheath and put it up my sleeve before I climbed into the third pen. Their slop bucket was licked clean. They weren’t afraid of me the way the ones in the last two pens had been. That didn’t necessarily mean they deserved a death sentence though. 

Keeping my angel blade ready, I went to release the first one, and when it tried to bite my face as I leaned close enough to unlock its wrist cuff, I killed it with a stab to the heart. This time when I stood and looked at the others, they looked more intimidated . . . that’s when they started talking to me on a human level and begging me to let them go . . . which made me want to give them a chance that each and every one of them screwed up in some way by trying to bite me as I was letting them go or after I already had. _Fucking weird ass not wendigo yet . . . cannibals_ They’d definitely eat anyone they came across at camp or anyone they came across out in the wild if I let them go. Things only got worse from there.


	48. Wendigo Farm Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is very dark. The whole thing might be triggering for some people. It is important for Beth's character development, but her development will be mentioned in other chapters without the details from this chapter, so you'll be able to pick up on what happens if you choose not to read.

Dean watched the house for a few minutes from the roof of the barn. Cas had kicked the hornets’ nest, and they were hunkering down for an attack. These people had no idea what they were messing around with in the barn . . . They were lucky the ones in the far stall hadn’t gotten loose and dragged them all off in their sleep to some cave somewhere. It’d serve them right . . . and if it weren’t for the survivors in the basement or any that the wendigos might come across out there after they got loose, he would’ve left what was in the far stall here for these dickheads to have to deal with some time not too long from now. 

It said a lot that he thought Beth was safer with wendigos than those dickheads, but then humans were always more unpredictable than monsters, and these were baby wendigos at best. He wished he had more details on how his cousins had been taken down . . . not if they were eaten or not, but how these douchebags had out-gunned well trained hunters. _There’s more to these farmers than meets the eye._

He could go in all guns blazing, but that wouldn’t work when he didn’t know what he was walking into in there. Stealth and one on one just like with demons should do it. These guys had a generator, so he checked whether they had security cameras, and they didn’t. They had mines and booby traps set up all over the place, so they probably thought they were covered. 

Dean saw his opening when one of the men came out the back door of the house a few minutes later. He watched the way the man moved through the yard, so he could memorize where the man stepped. Dean waited until the man was almost to the door of the barn and then leapt down on top of him, knocked the man out and checked him for weapons that he pocketed for himself before taking the guys jacket and baseball cap. He tied the guy up with zip ties . . . should just feed this guy to the monsters in the barn, but he hadn’t decided what to do with the humans running this place yet, so he leaned the guy up against the barn in the shadows to keep the guy hidden. 

New disguise in place, Dean followed the path the man had used through the land mines and was just getting to the back door when Cas appeared by his side. “The prisoners in the barn are at the camp. Beth sent me to help you get the rest out of the house.” Dean glanced in the window he was standing beside to get a good look at the layout of the downstairs. Cas could just take the women out of here two by two, and Dean could stay down there with them to make sure they were safe until Cas was done. 

But what if the women down there freaked out the way the ones in the barn had when they saw him and Beth? The men in the house would notice the jailbreak. And if they knew how to take down well-trained hunters and were messing around with wendigos, maybe they knew how to banish an angel. If they banished Cas, the people in the basement, Beth, and he would all be screwed. 

Cas could set up a diversion, so Dean could make it down there and explain what was happening, so the women wouldn’t freak out when Cas showed up out of thin air. Then Cas could come down and help him once the men in the house were all focused somewhere else. Dean wanted to get a better idea of how many people were involved in running this farm anyway, because standing here, it looked like a lot more than 13 or 14. 

“Think you can create a scene at the front of the house and draw them all out, Cas? I need you to buy me time to get them loose in the basement before you come down and help get them out of there.” He barely got it out before Cas was gone. When Dean glanced back in the window, he saw Cas appear in the living room, grab a couple of the men, and disappear with them. The rest of the men in the room started running around until one of them looked out the front window and shouted that they were out front. Then the others went flying out the front door firing their shotguns and rifles. 

Dean used the distraction to go in the back door and kept the bill of the hat low over his face, so at a quick glance from the others, he wouldn’t look out of place, while he set about trying to find the door he needed to get to the basement. He made it through the kitchen and out into the living room before he found the door he wanted and was nearly to it when he heard a guy say, “Hey, Stuart. What the hell are ya doin’? You can have playtime later. We’re bein’ attacked here.” _Dickhead._

Dean opened the door and stopped on the top step to draw the man closer. When the guy grabbed his shoulder, Dean turned around with a smile he didn’t mean. Seeing someone he didn’t know smiling at him caught the guy off guard, which was the point, and then Dean quickly slammed the guy’s head into the doorframe and threw him down the stairs while he pulled the door shut behind him. 

When Dean reached the bottom step, he stopped to punch the guy enough that the man wouldn’t get back up again for awhile, pulled out some more zip ties to tie him to the bottom of the railing and then punched him again for good measure before he went around the corner and saw why he hadn’t wanted Beth here at all. There were about 20 women tied down to bunk beds . . . they were all pale and hadn’t seen the light of day in a long time. They hadn’t been allowed to move from their beds, so they probably had bedsores. They’d definitely lost muscle mass. He wondered if they’d even be able to stand up. 

He knew humans were capable of this . . . but it didn’t make it any easier to see when it was in his face like this. When he went towards the first woman, she reacted the same way the ones in the barn had except she was a lot louder. He paused and nobody came down the stairs, so they must not have heard it. Cas must have them all outside still. 

These women had no reason to trust him, and he was okay with that, because they didn’t know he was here to help, and they’d had any trust for strangers ripped away from them . . . probably for good, but what he hated was that he was the cause of them being scared. He made sure he looked her in the eye and explained what he was going to do before he made any movements towards her and then did exactly what he said he would and no more before he backed away to give her space. 

“They, uh, they’re busy with something else up there at the moment, but I wouldn’t run up there if I were you. Just wait until I get the rest of them loose, and I’ll get you out of here and some place safe.” She was shaking and still looked scared of him, but she nodded, so he went on to the next one and did the same thing with her. It was taking too much time, but he needed to take the time here and make up for lost time when he got them out. He got to the fourth girl, and after he untied her, she sat up and punched him in the face before she kicked him in the nuts and pushed past him. He was doubled over, but stopped her from going up the stairs when he grunted out, “Gwen? Gwen Campbell?” 

She looked back at him and came back asking how the hell he knew her name. He coughed out, “Call it a guess . . . I’m Dean Winchester . . . uh, we’re cousins . . . third cousins . . . my Mom was Mary Winchester . . . used to be Campbell . . . Samuel Campbell’s daughter.” She eyed him warily, so he took a deep breath and tried to stand upright when he said, “Could use your help getting the rest of them up and out of here. We haven’t really got all day for a family reunion . . . right now my friend Cas is creating a diversion outside. We need to get everyone untied before he gets back. He’s an angel, so he’s gonna fly everyone back to our camp.” 

She went to the next woman and started untying her while she said loud enough for the rest of them to hear, “Listen up. We’re gettin’ out of here. He’s here to help,” before she turned back to him and said, “I want them dead . . . all of them. Do you understand me?” He nodded. If he knew Beth, she’d probably move onto that soon with or without him.

They’d gotten all the women up, and Cas wasn’t back yet. Some of the women looked antsy, so he went through what Cas was and how he was going to get them out of there, and then a couple of women at the back of the room started to freak out and say they wanted to stay if it meant they’d be caught again and have worse done to them. He got that, but he still said, “I won’t make you do anything you don’t wanna do, but Cas is the fastest way to get you out of here.” 

He didn’t wait to see how they responded before he turned his back on them to stand watch at the bottom of the stairs. He probably should’ve made sure they were all right, because first one started screaming that they were escaping, and then another one joined in with her. _What the fuck?_ Dean turned around and told Gwen to shut them up, because there was no way he should be the one to do it, or that’s what he thought anyway . . . He wasn’t really expecting her to do that by punching one of them in the face, but it worked . . . just not fast enough. 

The door at the top of the stairs swung open, and a legion of men started pouring down. Dean pulled his handgun, but they kept coming. _What the hell is wrong with them? Man pulls a gun on you, you stop._ He shot a couple at the front, but it didn’t stop the others. One of them reached over the shoulder of another guy and used a crowbar to hit Dean’s hand as he aiming at the one in front of that guy. Dean's gun fell out of his hand, so he pulled his knife, but didn’t get a chance to do more than that before one of them whipped out a cattle prod and electrocuted him.

He was down for the count and started being drug up the stairs. _Should’ve gone for kill shots . . . shouldn’t have let them overrun me at the bottom. Should’ve got back into the room with the women and taken them out as they came around the corner. Why the fuck didn’t I do that? Wasn’t time . . . Nothing was stopping them. Why the hell did they keep coming like that? Don’t care if they live or die? Don’t care if one another lives or dies? What?_

They got him to the top and gave him another couple of jolts before they tossed him on the ground and laid into him with a fury of vicious kicks and stomps while he was paralyzed from the electricity. _Where the hell is Cas?_

They left him lying on the ground and carried the men he’d shot up the stairs while others stayed down there to tie the women back up. He watched the boots of the men carrying the men he’d shot go past him into the kitchen and saw them throw the first guy on the table. He thought they were going to dig the bullets out or . . . anything but what happened. 

Dean lifted his head and groaned unintelligibly as one of the men with a cleaver started mercilessly hacking the first shooting victim up. Dean tried to get up when he saw the next one tossed on the table and was jolted in the back again by someone that’d been left to watch him. He blinked past the blurriness and watched the blood drip down off the table while another one was thrown on the table. He heard screams from the men and the thud of the cleaver again and again. 

_Where the fuck is Cas? Cas, get Beth out of here!_ When it was his turn, they pulled him up, dragged him to the table, threw him on it, and tied him down. A couple of them were trying to hold Dean down as Dean tried to fight against the paralysis and the ropes. The one with a meat cleaver raised it above Dean’s right shoulder, but that’s all the big guy with the cleaver got to do, because a second later, he dropped to the ground after someone took him out with a headshot. 

Dean looked over his left shoulder and saw Beth standing in the middle of the living room. She was covered in blood. Her eyes were a different color. They were ice blue and matched the ice cold, calm look she had as she leveled her gun at the guys trying to hold him down and took them out with two clean head shots fired in quick succession. She heard movement to her left coming from the basement and calmly brought her gun around to shoot whoever had been running up the stairs to respond to her gunshots. _Three . . . there must’ve been three, because she’s going for kill shots, and she isn’t missing._

After that Beth strode up to him confidently, handed him her pocketknife, and laid his gun beside him. _Where'd she get that?_ She ducked as a man who’d come in the front door went to grab her from behind, turned as she rose from her crouch, and jammed her angel blade up into the man’s heart. As the man’s body fell, she took a protective stance in front of Dean, while Dean cut the ties they’d use to hold him down. 

He must’ve been out of it more than he thought if he’d missed most of the men running out of the house for some reason, because they weren’t here. Beth glanced at him to make sure he was okay when he rolled off the table to stand beside her, and then she said, “Dean, go to the basement.” She put her angel blade in her right thigh sheath and looked like she was planning on staying. _Not goin' anywhere without her._ “Go to the basement. Cas needs your help with the women.” 

Dean didn’t get a good feeling about this. He wasn’t moving until she did. Armed men came in the front door, and he immediately trained his gun on them, but she put hers away and said, “Time is up. Don’t try to get involved. Go to Cas when he gets back,” before plastering a flirty smile on her face while she stripped off her coat in a very provocative way and tossed it on the ground. 

“What –“ 

She cut him off. “Not now.” 

Men started piling in through the kitchen door too, and now they were surrounded, but the men weren’t trying to rush them, because they were openly leering at Beth while she slowly unbuttoned her shirt. The way she was exploring her body with her hands while she did it would’ve been hot if it was just for him, but it wasn’t. _What the fuck is she doing?_ As soon as the last men in the house shut the doors behind them, Beth flipped her hair in a sexy way, so it was half-covering her face and said in a seductive voice he’d never heard her use, “I hope we’re all here now. I’ve got a little surprise for you boys,” to keep their attention on her striptease while she brushed her zippo back against her thigh to flip it open and forward to light it before she threw it behind the men standing in front of them. 

Seconds later, the door burst into flames. That caught half the men’s attention as she grabbed her angel blade in her right hand, her gun in her left, and turned to impale the heart of the man who’d been coming at her from the back with a cattle prod. Dean hadn’t even known that guy was there, because he was too busy watching his girlfriend act like someone completely different. 

She lit another zippo and tossed it in the kitchen near the door in there. The fire began to encircle everyone in the two rooms and moved fast, so it took all the men’s attention off of he and Beth. She delivered head shots to any men that tried to leave through the doors, windows, or up the stairs until she emptied the magazine, ejected it, calmly reloaded another, and kept on shooting until the rest realized there was no way out and were left choking and gasping for air in the smoke. Now there were 13-14 men left. 

Then she said with authority, “This is what happens when you turn victims into monsters . . . You die the way the monsters do,” just before Cas showed up, and she told him to take Dean out of there and come back for her in a couple of minutes. 

Seconds later, Dean was standing with the women near the trench where they’d staked the place out earlier. _What the fuck just happened?_ It happened so fast . . . like 5 minutes from the start of her striptease to now when he was standing out here without her. The house was engulfed in flames, and Beth was still in there. _What the fuck is she doing?_ There was no sound coming from the farm other than the sounds of the fire and the collapse of the roof on the barn that was also lit up. 

If Dean was alive, then she was, but he didn’t think about that when he pointed at the house and shouted, “Cas, I don’t care what she said. You can’t just leave her in there alone. You’ve gotta go back.” Cas disappeared and was gone for another minute that felt like a lifetime before he brought Beth back covered in soot from the smoke and more blood. 

As soon as she got there, she went over to the women and said calmly between coughs, “Who screamed? Who said you were all escaping? I could hear it in the barn . . . I want the ones who did it to come forward . . . I won’t do anything to you . . . I just want to know.” 

The way she looked with all that soot and blood . . . she was scaring them, and Dean didn’t know where this was going after what she just did, so he went over and pulled her away from them. “What the fuck are you doing, Beth? You burned those guys alive . . . now you’re scaring these women.” 

“I didn’t let them burn alive . . . I took care of them with my angel blade, so it was fast . . . and then I poured salt on the ones I could before Cas drug me away. I needed to make sure they were gone for good. I was multi-tasking,” she answered defensively before looking down. 

Okay, so she didn’t let them suffer, but why did what just happened, happen? Dean waited for an explanation, and she sighed before she glanced at him again, and he noticed her eyes were back to their normal blue-grey, before she looked off to the side “We got it wrong. It was a farm meant to create wendigos. Why were some started in the program and others killed straight away? Maybe they had to fit a certain profile . . . At least 9 people were killed to feed them today, and if you include the woman they were bringing in from the first stall, that makes 10. None of the people we got out of the barn said anything about more than that 1 woman being taken out of the first stall . . . I know one of the victims came from the house, but where did the other 8 come from?” 

She wasn’t even really talking to him through most of that. She was trying to work through it and saying everything that came to mind to try and make sense of it. He knew there was more to the story, but he’d shaken her confidence because of the way he’d reacted. She was a little nervous about what he thought of her now. It’s why she wouldn’t look at him. He took her a bit further away from the women, so that it was just the two of them. She could tell him whatever it was. He just wanted to know what was going on. 

She ducked her head. “The ones who didn’t eat in the first stall got fed to the others when they ran out of fresher victims to feed them. If the ones in the first stall broke down and started eating humans, then they got bumped up to the next stage. If they got to like it, they moved up another stage,” she paused, before she said more quietly, “When a woman from their basement wouldn’t eat, they did one of two things. They threw her to a pen to be ripped apart alive, or they cut off her arms, legs, and head and threw her out there in big pieces . . . When I got to the fourth stall, they were eating a woman who had ligature marks on what was left of her arms and legs, and she was pregnant, so I know she came from that basement. Based on the cleaver marks on the parts that weren’t eaten yet . . . she was alive when they started cutting her up the same way you would’ve been when they tried to chop you up . . . She wasn’t just skinny. She was starving. She wouldn’t give in on the one thing she had a choice in when she was in that house, and that is how those monsters repaid her strength, and I know she wasn’t the only one . . . over half of the women out here with us now look like they were pretty close to receiving the same fate, some of them, like your cousin look new, so that’s why they look relatively healthy, and others look like they’ve been here for awhile and are well fed . . . why is that? Remember that one of the women in the second stall said she’d been in the house before she was taken out there . . . why did she get sent out there unless she was willing to eat whatever they put in front of her in that basement? I doubt it was just because they got tired of her, or she’d be dead.” 

How any of the people that were on the slow track to becoming wendigos got put in the barn instead of being fed to the rest was a good question. Did they have to kill someone to show they were capable of it? He would’ve been sliced and diced for letting the women loose . . . maybe people that fought back got sent out there as food? But why would they think a bunch of passive people would make good wendigos? Maybe they knew passive people would eventually give into it and do whatever the men running this place wanted? Something still told him the men running this place knew the people in the barn could be killers under the right circumstances. There were a lot of questions that needed to be answered about the people they’d rescued today. 

Beth took a deep breath and got back to telling him what happened. “In the first stall they were supposed to eat a congealed mess of minced human remains that didn’t look like anything that used to be human. In the second stall, they were fed entrails and other organs that you knew were human organs. I don’t know what they fed the third stall, because they’d licked the bowl clean. In the fourth stall, they were eating definable human body parts, so to get to that fourth stall, the ones in the third stall had to be tested . . . The ones who were happy to rip someone apart while they were alive were the ones that moved on up to the fourth stall. They all tried to bite me in that third stall, so they all were destined for that fourth stall even if they could still talk to me. The fourth stall couldn’t talk. They grunted like animals, but my angel blade still killed them. The fifth stall . . . they weren’t far along, but they weren’t human, and they all had Anasazi symbols on their cuffs . . . that’s how I know those men in the house knew what they were creating.” 

Dean didn’t really know what to say, so he took a deep breath and nodded that he got it. She must’ve thought the reason he’d said she was scaring the women was because she was a mess, because she tried to clean her face with her sleeve and just smeared it around the place before she turned to walk back to the women. “Okay who screamed? I don’t want anyone but the ones who did it to let me know.” 

He hadn’t been upset that the men were dead. What had gotten to him was that he’d seen a different side to Beth, and he hadn’t thought there were any he hadn’t seen. It’s what she must’ve been like when she took out those men that killed Jimmy and Tamara’s Mom. It was different than when she hunted. He’d called it right when he’d told Adam that she hadn’t enjoyed any of it, because she hadn’t felt anything . . . it was a calculated annihilation, and she made it look easy. If they hadn’t been humans, he would’ve been impressed . . . maybe there was a part of him that was . . . the way she’d used herself as bait in there . . . normally, if men looked at her in any way she didn’t like, she’d run out the door, but on this she used it as a weapon, so she could keep the men from rushing them all at once the way they had him. 

She wouldn’t have done any of this for herself if she’d been wronged, but for that woman she found chopped up in the barn, she’d gone all out, and it had been the same when she saw Jimmy, Tamara and their mother. She didn’t question it once she made the decision to kill other humans. Was it right? Cas seemed to think so. Cas had definitely helped her pull this off . . . There is no other way that house would’ve gone up the way it did if Cas hadn’t gone invisible and helped her pour accelerant around the bottom floor. That’s why Cas had been MIA for so long . . . Gwen told Dean she wanted them all dead. He could’ve gone in there and taken them all out . . . he’d thought about it and to protect Beth he would have without questioning it. 

If she hadn’t just done what she did . . . what would they have done with those men? They were turning people into wendigos on purpose . . . that was bad. It was as bad as Sam turning prisoners into werewolves or skinwalkers . . . it was worse, because wendigos were worse monsters, and it took a lot longer for it to happen. Mentally there was a long road those victims had to travel to go from human to monster. 

_Why would people turn normal people into wendigos? They’d do it if they were working for someone that might think they could control a wendigo army . . . Crowley?_ Something like this had been in the works long before Lucifer was killed. It had to be Crowley, but the only reason Crowley would’ve known to start something like this back then would be if Crowley knew Sam’s plans. _Course Sam told Crowley his plans. Why tell his brother when he could tell a demon?_ And Sam had been in contact with Crowley for a long time . . . maybe ever since Carthage. _I mean why not? Nothing could go wrong there._

Sam had heard about Crowley from Beth, knew Crowley used to be Lilith’s second in command and would be King of Hell some day, and he met Crowley when they went to get the Colt. Then Sam killed Jo and needed a powerful ally, not the angel that his brother trusted, no another fucking demon. When Sam went back on demon blood for Famine and stayed on it, Sam was doin’ the same thing Crowley had done by making this camp. 

Sam knew Crowley was creating his own rebel group of demons and decided to do the same thing . . . two armies of monsters and demons pitted against one another once Lucifer was taken out. It’s why Sam needed the trading posts and monster alliances. How many monsters did Crowley have? Wendigos could work as mercenaries for a demon that didn’t have to worry about bein’ killed by one . . . just wind ‘em up and let ‘em go, and they’d destroy anything in their path as long as they got payment in the form of human meat, and they were smart. 

Maybe that’s why none of the men working here cared if they lived or died. This whole place reeked of a demon deal, the women in exchange for wendigos, and demons, as far as he could tell, always made a person’s soul part of the deal, with one exception. Sam hadn’t sold his soul, or Crowley would’ve said it when he took Beth. So, the men here signed their souls over to Crowley to be apart of this . . . that’s how much they liked doing the things they did here.

They had nothing to lose, because they were going to Hell, and maybe guys like this would be looking forward to it, because they were all Alistair’s in training . . . maybe that’s the way Crowley sold it to them . . . Hell would be their playground, like this farm was, but for all eternity . . . They just had to be on the receiving side of torture first. He bet Crowley left that part out. Beth gave those men what they deserved . . . The alternative would’ve been letting them live and keep doing the same things to anybody else they found for however long until their deals were up. 

Dean walked up behind Beth when he heard that hint of an Irish accent starting to creep in the more she talked. “You’ll be going to our main camp for a health check up, and then except for Gwen . . . all of you will be staying in one of our outposts. You and the ones we found in that barn will get counseling at least twice a week at the start – one-on-one counseling and group counseling.” Then her accent got a little thicker when she said, “ . . . and until the two who screamed come forward, I’ll be recommending to the leaders of the outposts that you all do extra chores. That was not identifying or sympathizing with your captors. That was screwing over everybody else for your own benefit. This is a new world we live in and that sort of behavior is fucking selfish and cowardly, and I won’t allow it anywhere near the people we protect at the camp.” That’s why she was getting pissed off. The two who did it still wouldn’t admit to it. He didn’t think punishing any of them was a good idea.

One of the tall women at the back said Beth wasn’t selling her on the place very well and the other tall woman beside that one said, “Some of us are pregnant and you expect us to do extra chores?” 

Beth pointed at the one of them, the one that was starting to get a black eye from where Gwen punched her and took a couple of steps towards her while she said, “You two - ” 

Dean wrapped his arms around her waist to stop her. She had the right two, but he still had no idea where her head was really at right now. He turned to Cas, who was on his right shoulder. “Can you get them out of here. Tell Bobby to put security on everyone from this farm while they’re in the camp. Wherever they decide to live, they need to be watched until we’re sure they’re in the clear . . . but they’ve been through a lot, and I don’t want to make it worse by lettin’ them know they’re being watched. After Dr. Thomas is done checking them out tonight, have Bobby set something up with her on this counseling thing Beth wants . . . what else do you want, Beth?” Even if he didn’t think the counseling thing wouldn’t work and didn’t think any of the people found here should be punished, he wasn’t going to undermine her in front of them. 

She sighed while watching the two at the back and said loud enough for them to hear, “Extra chores for everyone found in the house until those two admit what they did and apologize to the other women and you for it. I want to see if it was a one-time thing or if they’re the type of people that are selfish enough to let the other ones suffer for them when the others have been in just as traumatic of an experience as they have. People like that will do it again. They could sell us all out to anything that scares them . . . maybe open the gates to the enemy if they think they’ll get some kind of a reward for it.” 

Not bad. She was letting him know what she was thinking now, and she wasn’t planning on having the other women do much in the way of extra chores, more like wash a couple of extra dishes, but she wasn’t going to let those two know that. What she said wasn’t the only reason she was pushing this either. Beth thought those two women had drunk the wendigo kool-aid, but she wasn’t going to accuse them of that without proof. They might be victims, but she was really wary of them . . . all of them that had started in on the long pig diet anyway. 

She was basically thinking: _That one woman in the second stall said they knew what they’d become and still willingly ate the others. She wanted to know what were they supposed to do . . Starve to death. That was the only honorable way to go here. What if those two women at the back or those three over there or the people from the second stall snatch up one of the kids or old people when nobody is looking ___

__They were all victims, but they were victims they couldn’t trust, and that was almost as damning as what had been done to them. Victims should be protected after they were rescued, not watched, like they were as bad as the monsters . . . those men running this place deserved everything they got and more._ _

__Beth took a deep breath and continued her instructions. “I want them to all have a choice on which outpost they go to the same way every other adult we find gets to do. I’ll be in charge of their hunter training, so they can all learn to defend themselves, and I’ll do it at their outposts. That way they don’t have to do it with everybody else. They’re not going to want to be around large groups of people. Attendance at those sessions will be mandatory. One session is going to be geared towards those in this group who are pregnant and one will be for those who aren’t . . . I don’t want them housed with men at all . . . unless that’s something they’re comfortable with, but it’s up to them to decide, and I want them to all go to the store and pick out everything they think they’ll need or want when they get to their new homes . . . and I want to thank Cas for helping, and I want to thank you.”_ _

__One of the two in the back muttered loud enough for everyone to hear that she’d like to see Beth be pregnant and try to do training on top of chores and extra chores. _What is it with these two? Something is definitely off with them. _Beth huffed out an annoyed sigh and addressed everyone but the two women at the back. “I apologized for scaring you when I first got out of that house. I apologized. It was the right thing to do, and I accept full responsibility for looking crazy when I met you after what you’ve been through and feel bad about it.” She slumped a bit before she said, “And I’m sorry for making you stand out here in the cold, but I’m not sorry that I’m protective of where we live. That’s why I had Cas give you shoes, so we could have this chat. And I think, or I hope, that if you see how protective I am of that place . . . you’ll know that I’ll be as protective of you when you get there.” He hadn’t even noticed that they were all wearing shoes now. She went into that house ready for everything, even this post-game wrap up . . . She’d had no doubts that she’d walk out of that house alive.___ _

____“I may have been hasty in describing where you’re going. I’ll try to sell it to you again quickly so you don’t freeze to death . . . You’ll have a home. You can choose your roommates and what outposts you want to go to when you get there . . . You’ll have jobs to do in your outposts, not chores . . . the chores are extra on top of the job, but the job will help you feel like you’re a part of something. You’re needed and wanted because of what you can do and who you are. Each of those outposts has lots of different jobs that need to be filled, so even if you don’t like catching a fish . . . you might find you like the scenery at the fishing outpost better than you do the farms and . . . I don’t know, you might like curing the fish or cooking in their kitchen or being a part of their security detail, or you might prefer the farms, because you might like making butter or cheese or milking the cows or helping with the lambs or goats. You might be good at sewing or knitting or crocheting or designing clothes, so the outpost that patches our clothes and is starting to make new clothes and blankets and quilts would be good for you, or you might like construction and can help build new cabins, or you can choose any one of a lot of different things that are needed, and if you think something new needs to be done . . . make up a job for that, and run it by your leaders . . . You get to have a voice in your own lives again . . . from what you do and where you live to what you want from the store to set yourselves up. You’re getting counseling from our camp doctor . . . I don’t care if you go into those sessions and never say a thing, but the option is open to you, and the same confidentiality that used to apply still does with her . . . the same way any physical ailments you might be suffering from are still confidential with her. The one thing I’m not giving you a choice on is learning how to defend yourselves . . . You need to know that you can, and you need to learn it from someone that’s not threatening to you . . . Yeah, sure I know I’ve got blood and soot all over me right now, but that’s . . . well, I think we all know why that is, don’t we?”_ _ _ _

____She paused, and the women looked at each other before they all relaxed a little and looked back at her with a nod. When they did, she continued. “You can learn how to protect yourselves and each other, but not if you’re afraid of the one teaching you, so you could learn from me, or one of the other women I’ve trained. It’s entirely up to you, but I’ll be in charge of planning out what you’re learning . . . sound agreeable?” The women nodded again, so Beth leaned back to look up at Dean. “That’s it. That’s all I’ve got.”_ _ _ _

____He glanced at Cas and said, “You got all that?”_ _ _ _

____Cas nodded. “I’ll be back to take you to Maine when I’m done.” Then Cas went up to the first two women, and they disappeared._ _ _ _


	49. The North Star

As more of the women left, I slumped back further into Dean. _Why is he being so good to me?_ He should’ve been worried about being connected to me forever, not pulling his coat around both of us to keep me warm and wrapping his arms around me or resting his chin on the top of my head. So what if I’d started to feel cold. These women were even colder than I was, and I’d forced them to stay out here while I went on a rant, and I was bloody and sticky and gross, and he didn’t need to get any of that on him. 

I went to step away, but he tightened his hold and whispered, “Stop thinking you’re a monster . . . I don’t care if Rachel was . . . that’s not you.” 

_Damn. I didn’t want him to know that for sure._ My mind was still slowly filtering through and organizing my Heaven memories. I was different than I was before I got them. I felt a lot older and like I had a lot more information at my fingertips, like several languages I’d forgotten, but the memories of events up there . . . I didn’t necessarily think about them unless someone asked me something specific, I dreamt about them, or I randomly remembered them, like I did when I was confronted with Rachel . . . it acted as some sort of a half-assed attempt at a self-defense mechanism to keep me from going mad . . . I should’ve kept my mouth shut about Rachel. Dean didn’t need to know a monster had scammed he and his brother for years . . . _but maybe they weren’t scammed. She never caused this much carnage. Maybe I’m the monster._

Dean leaned down and talked into my ear, so nobody else could hear what he said while he had a conversation with me without me having to say anything. “You’re not a monster . . . It doesn’t mean anything if I didn’t know she was . . . You know why . . . Because you had to read about it in a forgotten library in Heaven to find out what she was . . . It doesn’t matter if my gut is never wrong . . . No . . . I’m not answering that . . . I’m just not . . . You’re just gonna use it to . . . It doesn’t matter if . . . All right maybe I hated seeing my girlfriend doing a striptease for those dickeheads, but it doesn’t mean . . . No, I didn’t freak out because of what I saw you do after that. I didn’t know what was going on . . . I don’t care if I never reacted that way to anything she did. It just means she hadn’t turned yet . . . I don’t care if I got knocked around a little, because you had Cas busy with . . . No, I’m not looking for a way out of being connected to you . . . Well, then I guess I’m goin’ to Purgatory with you . . . Because that’s what I want, but it’s not where you’re going . . . You’re just not . . . Because I know, and I know you know it too . . . You already told me what she was . . . Yes, you did . . . You told me like two years ago . . . When you read about her in that damn book, you passed out and told me she was a monster, so I know you know what she is, and this doesn’t change anything . . . That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. You’re not a demon either . . . Cas and Gabriel –“ He didn’t get to say anything else because Cas came back from his last run back to the camp, and we were out of there.

Cas took us right to the middle of Missouri’s living room, but she must’ve been expecting us, because it didn’t faze her one bit. “Dean Winchester, you’re even more handsome than the last time I saw you . . . and Beth Foley . . . do you have any idea what you’ve started?” 

_A downward spiral on my morality? A murderous rampage? The bullying of women who didn’t deserve it? The destruction of Earth and everyone who lives in it? The ruination of Dean and Sam’s relationship . . . There are so many to choose from._ I looked down and shook my head. 

She backed off and said softly, “No, none of those . . . I was expecting more resistence from you. Take one of these candles and get cleaned up in the bathroom while I talk to Dean and Castiel?” 

_Okay. I probably still look like a deranged psycho killer._

“It’s late, so go get some sleep.” 

_There’s no time for sleep._

“Don’t argue. Go get some sleep,” she called as I exited the room. 

_All right fine._

_Jesus . . . is that what I look like?_ I pulled the candle up to look at myself more closely in the mirror. Blood and black residue from the fire was caking my face, like Halloween makeup. _If the lead in_ The Descent _was in a fire after she went in the blood pit, I think this is the way she would look. I shouldn’t have talked to those women looking like this._

I looked around the room. Missouri had a decent set up here . . . it was comfortable and warm, and she had a washing basin with a pitcher of water next to it. _Oh, I’m going to need a lot more water than that to get this all off._ I grabbed the pitcher and emptied it into the basin before making my way back down the hall. 

They stopped talking about whatever they were talking about when I was a few feet away from the living room, so Missouri could say, “It’s outside. Go out the back and down the steps. It’s a few feet past that on the left.” 

_What are they talking about?_

“Well, get goin’. Dean’ll fill you in later.” 

_Now I feel like I’m being sent to my room without my dinner._

“If you’re hungry there’s food in the ice box out back too. Just bring it in and cook it in the wood stove in the kitchen.” 

_Yeah, I’m pretty hungry. Get clean, get food, get sleep. I can do that._

After making a few trips out to the water pump, so I could fill up the basin, I stripped off my coat and shirt, cupped the water in my hands and splashed it on my face, neck and arms . . . pretty much everywhere that had blood or soot. Then it was onto the soap. When I was done rinsing that off, the water was black, so I poured it down the drain. I looked up in the mirror. _That’s better, but it isn’t enough to get it all off . . . and I need to wash my hair too._

I glanced at my shirt and jacket on the floor. If I put them on again, I’d undo what I’d cleaned, and now I wanted to wash my legs too, because my jeans were covered in blood, so I’m sure it’d soaked through to my skin. I hadn’t brought anything else in here with me as far as clothes went, and I needed more water, so I went to throw on my disgusting clothes, but a knock at the door stopped me. It was Dean. He said Missouri thought I might need some clean clothes. 

_This is weird. I haven’t had to say anything since I’ve been here. I haven’t said anything since I scared those women, but then part of me must need it, or I wouldn’t be letting them know what I’m thinking._ When I opened the door, Dean handed me my bag and asked if I’d be all right while he went back to finish talking to Missouri. 

_Yeah, I’m good._ He nodded before I had a chance to say anything and left. 

_Maybe this is the way I’ll communicate from now on. Blocking psychics, Dean, demons, and angels is exhausting, and it’s exhausting talking._

I opened my bag and noticed he’d put one of his T-shirts and a flannel on top. They weren’t in there earlier, so he must’ve just done it, and I loved that he had. That was so what I needed. I put them on and went outside to start my pitcher routine all over again and kept doing it until I’d washed everything from the night off. It felt like it took forever, but I just knew I had to do it, and I had to do it right. 

When I went out to the icebox to find food, I found a lot of frozen dinners. One of the benefits of having a small group of survivors . . . frozen dinners lasted for a long time as long as they were frozen. They usually had vegetables, and there was little to no fuss in preparation as long as you had a gas or wood burning oven. Of course I didn’t go for any of those. I went for one of the pizzas in the back. 

_They’re probably for special occasions or something . . . maybe I shouldn’t._ Cas landed next to me and said Missouri wanted me to know I could have whatever I wanted. I decided to continue on with my new way of communicating. 

_Thanks, Cas, and thanks again for your help tonight. I’m sorry if I scared you too._ He looked like he was going to say something but decided against it before he flew back into the house. 

There was something really normal about using her wood oven to heat up a pizza and waiting in one of the kitchen chairs for it to finish. I was in the middle of taking it out of the oven when a kid about 9 or 10 years old came into the kitchen rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. Maybe I’d been louder than I thought. Or maybe the smell of the pizza woke him up. 

_Crap. Do I have to talk to him?_ I decided I wasn’t going to and slid a slice of pizza towards him. He grabbed it and sat down in a chair next to me to start eating while I focused on my own food and watched him out of the corner of my eye. _Shouldn’t he be worried that there’s a stranger in his house eating pizza at 2 or 3 in the morning? Maybe he thinks Missouri would warn them if I shouldn’t be here._

When he finished his slice, I offered him another, and he took it, but didn’t say anything. _Curioser and curioser._ I wondered if we could have a not-talk-off to see which one of us broke first. After we’d split the pizza, except for the last two slices I was holding back for Dean, I got up and started searching through the cupboards until I found two glasses and went out to fill them with well water. 

When I came back, I set one down in front of him. I wanted to see if I could get my competition to crack, so when he went to pick it up, I smiled and pulled it away from him a little. He glanced at me and went to grab it again, so I pulled it a little further away. He responded by sitting back and crossing his arms over his chest. I understood what that meant, so I gave up on my quest and slid it towards him. 

_He sure is stubborn for a kid who doesn’t know he’s in the middle of a competition with me. He does live with Missouri. Can he read minds too? Hey kid . . . in the interest of fairness, nod if you know what I’m thinking right now . . . nada._ I went to wash my plate in the basin in the sink, put it in the drying rack, wiped the crumbs away from the table, and decided it was time to go to bed. I waved good night to the kid, went to the room Missouri told me I could sleep in, threw on my warm flannel pajama bottoms, and climbed into bed when there was a knock at the door. Nobody said anything, so I opened the door, and there was the kid in a coat, hat, and gloves.

 _Is this kid for real? He’s not a spirit or hallucination is he?_ I touched a finger to his forehead. _He’s solid._ He smiled, grabbed one of my hands, and started leading me towards the back door. 

_uh . . . it’s cold out there._ I stopped him and indicated for him to wait before I went to find a long sleeve t-shirt to put on under Dean’s t-shirt and flannel and then threw on an extra heavy sweatshirt over that, so I didn’t have to put my bloody coat on around the kid. _An extra pair of socks, a spare knitted ski hat not covered in blood and soot, and a pair of fingerless glove mittens should just about do it._ When I got back out into the hall he was still there, so I offered him my hand and went wherever he wanted to go. _Where is he taking me?_ I guess I’d just have to find out by going there, because I wasn’t going to lose our game by asking him. 

He led me to a small shed and pointed at some stuff piled up against it and then up. _Looks like we’re going on the roof._ Climbing up ahead of him, I reached over the side to help him up before having a good look around. The snow had been cleared off in one spot that was about his size, so this must be a hide out for him. 

I helped him push the thin layer of snow that’d accumulated over his spot off the roof, and he pointed to a place next to his spot and then at me. _He wants that to be my spot?_ I stopped him from clearing it and put my index finger up, hoping he’d understand that I wanted him to bare with me for a moment, He nodded, so I got to work scrunching some snow into a ball, so I could roll it around the roof. When it got to be about the size of a small melon, I put it off to the side and had him do the same until he got a ball about the size of a soft ball. We put it on top of the one I’d made, and then we topped it off with a smaller one before I got down off the shed to find sticks we could use for arms and a couple of rocks we could use for eyes. I let him add them to the snowman however he wanted. 

When he was done, I looked at the snowman and ripped off a button from the bottom of my glove to put on as a nose. _There. If Missouri won’t come with us, now he has a little decoration up here in his special space._

When I was little, my snowmen used to fall over, explode, or melt into a puddle in seconds for some unexplained reason . . . now I knew Gabriel was probably behind that, but when I was a kid, I just thought I had bad luck with snowmen . . . looking back . . . he only did it when I made one without him, so it was probably because he wanted to make the snowmen with me, and it worked. I always asked him for help after my mishaps, and he was always more than happy to help me make a new one. He was actually a better Dad than you’d think . . . exploding snowmen aside. 

Anyway . . . the kid looked happy with his snowman, but he hadn’t cracked on our competition yet. We cleared off the rest of the snow, and he layed on his back and pointed up at the sky, like he wanted to show me something, so I laid down next to him to see what he was pointing at . . . _Shit. Why is he pointing at the North Star? Is he a demon? Or an angel? What am I doing out here in the middle of the night with nothing to protect myself?_

I quickly got up and went to hop down off the roof again, but stopped when I heard him say, “Don’t go. I want to show you my favorite.” 

_So, he can talk._ “Christo.” _Nothing. Missouri’s been on the ball all night. She wouldn’t have let me walk out here with a demon or angel._

I went back to my spot on the roof and laid back down, so I could look at the stars and asked, “So, why’s the North Star your favorite?” 

He was quiet for a minute and finally said, “Because it doesn’t change.” 

_Oh, kid, if you only knew._ I took a deep breath and tried to keep my eyes from tearing up. “It does change though . . . a little. In such small amounts, that you can’t tell. It used to be somewhere else in the sky.” 

He shook his head. “No, it was there before the monsters, and its there now . . . I’ve always been scared to talk to people, but I could always talk to my star. I come up here to talk to it every night . . . even when it’s snowing. My Dad used to say that even if the clouds hide it, it’s still in the same place.” 

It hit a little too close to home for me, so I wiped a tear away and cleared my throat before I asked, “Why’d you want to show me your favorite?” 

“You didn’t talk . . . like me. And you looked sad, so I thought maybe you were too scared to talk and wanted to.” 

I smiled. “You want me to talk to your star?” He nodded, so I asked him what I should say, and he said I could say whatever I want. “What if I told it a story?” I looked over at him, and he nodded. 

“There were two little girls. They were twins . . . identical twins, so they were two halves of what was supposed to be one person. One of the girls was angry and mean and selfish, but she was given all of the heart, which means she felt everything much stronger than most people can, so when she was angry . . . she was very angry, and when she was sad . . . she was very sad. She was sent to Earth, and because she was separated from her sister, she became a monster . . . not the kind of monster you’ve seen, a different kind of monster. She didn’t kill people, and she didn’t know she was a monster. She grew up and killed other monsters to save humans, but she also grew up feeling alone, because she wanted her sister. She said and did a lot of hurtful things to those around her because of that pain she was in herself, but when she hurt other people’s feelings . . . it made her feel a little better, because making people feel bad was like . . . monster candy to her. She found someone she thought might help her feel better, but he wasn’t her sister, and her sister is what she really wanted. She took out her anger and frustration at not finding what she wanted on him, and that started to destroy him, and because she was a monster, destroying him made her feel even better than just hurting his feelings a little like she did with other people.“ 

I paused while I processed what I’d said so far. That seemed about right. He nudged me and asked what happened to her, so I said, “Well, that’s where her sister came into it. Her sister was a human, and she was still up there . . . like the North Star is now. She was held captive for a long time and grew up alone, just like her sister, but while her sister was looking for her, she was looking for the person her sister wanted to destroy. One day she was looking down at the people on Earth and found him, but she also saw her sister was doing bad things to him, so she had her sister killed to keep her from hurting him anymore.” 

He asked me how she could do that to her sister when her sister had looked for her for so long and added, “The only reason her sister was being mean was because she missed her.” 

“The, uh, well . . . if the monster sister was able to feel more than everyone else, the human sister felt a lot less than other people and made up for her shortcomings by using her mind, so she didn’t feel bad about killing her sister. She thought it was the right decision to make. The monster sister would’ve kept hurting people’s feelings until she started killing them. Even if the monster sister didn’t want to kill them, she couldn’t help what she was . . . and the human sister knew that by killing her monster sister, her monster sister would be up there with her for the first time.” 

“What happened when they saw each other?” 

“They didn’t see each other. The monster sister had a big decision to make, and the human sister couldn’t influence her monster sister one way or the other or the cure wouldn’t work . . . The human sister was offering her monster sister a chance for them to go back to Earth together. This time she would be there to watch her sister and make sure she didn’t do bad things to anybody else . . . but because the monster sister made all her decisions based on emotions, and because she was very, very angry she had been killed, the monster sister sent a message to the human sister saying that she didn’t want to be with her. When her human sister left and came down here without her, the monster sister was still angry, but it was because she felt even lonelier than she had when she was on Earth.” 

He asked me why, so I answered, “She didn’t like herself, and she’d found her sister and realized she didn’t like her, but her human sister was still her sister, and it didn’t matter if she didn’t like her, she still needed her. She’d missed her chance to be with the one person she’d been looking for her whole life, and now she had nobody. She knew that the only thing that had made her feel better on Earth was destroying things, so after her sister left, she wanted to destroy the universe to try and make her feel better.” 

He quickly asked what her sister did to stop her from destroying the universe. “When she got to Earth, her memories of her monster sister and her time in prison were erased, and she started making a new sister, like a . . . robot sister. She didn’t know how she was making her robot sister or why, but she was doing it. She didn’t know that with every new piece she added to her new sister, her monster sister died a little more . . . until eventually she was dead for good, but it takes a long time to make a new robot sister . . . if it had taken too long, she could’ve killed herself forever, and the loss of her would’ve killed her monster sister too.” 

Then he asked me what the monster sister did when she found out she was going to be killed. _That’s the question, isn’t it?_ “Well, the sisters had an argument through someone like Missouri who can talk to people who are dead, and the monster sister hurt her human sister’s feelings. It made the human sister remember that her monster sister was a monster, so the human sister told the monster sister she was a monster and that she was going to be killed, but she didn’t say how or when. She felt bad about doing that to her monster sister, because her monster sister was just lonely and angry, and the human sister didn’t think it was very nice to tell a former monster killer that they’re a monster and that they’re going to die and not know when it’ll happen.” 

“What did the human sister do while she was on Earth?” 

I was quiet for a minute and sighed. “She became a monster killer, like her sister was, but sometimes she acted more like a monster than her sister to punish bad men, and that worried her and made her question if she was the monster instead of her sister, because one of them had to be.” 

He wanted to know why she acted like a monster, so I said, “Sometimes . . . people do such bad things, and they do them so many times . . . there is no hope of them ever being good. The only way she could deal with those people was to make them leave Earth permanently to keep good people safe . . . she felt like a monster because of what she had to do to make those men leave Earth . . . and maybe she thought she hadn’t been given the right to punish them. She just sort of took it.” 

For a kid who didn’t talk, he sure had a lot of questions. He asked how bad the people she punished were. _You don’t want to know._ “Really, really bad . . . so bad I can’t even tell you what they did, or it’d give you nightmares.” 

He was quiet for a few minutes and said, “My brother was turned into a monster . . . and he killed my parents. I had to run away from him, or he would’ve killed me too. I went to my neighbor’s house for help, but he followed me and lied when she answered the door. He told her I ran away from home, and my parents wanted me home for dinner. I wanted to tell her he wasn’t my brother anymore, but I was too scared, so she opened the door, and he cut her with a knife. I ran out the back door and kept running until I found a place to hide. That’s where Missouri found me . . . were the bad men she punished worse than my brother was?”

My heart broke a little when I heard his story. Every survivor’s story was different, and they were all sad stories, but he was so young and innocent . . . He needed a star to help him talk even before the virus hit, and now that star . . . my star was all he had left. I decided then that he was coming with me whether Missouri stayed here or not. 

“Yeah, they were worse than that. You’re brother couldn’t help what happened to him or what he did to your parents or neighbor . . . The men she punished made humans turn into monsters . . . worse monsters than the one your brother turned into, and they kept a bunch of women as prisoners and hurt them every day. When the women fought back by not eating, because it’s the only way they could fight back, the men fed them to the monsters they made.” 

He was quiet again, and I thought maybe we were done, but when I looked at him, he said, “Then the men she punished weren’t normal men . . . they were monster makers, and her job was killing monsters, so to keep monsters from being made, she had to send them away to keep everyone safe. I wish someone had done that before my brother was turned into a monster. Then I wouldn’t be alone. Did she save the women?” 

I nodded but couldn’t really say anything else about it. Sam was this kid’s monster maker . . . maybe that’s a big part of why I felt bad, because I was able to kill those men, but Sam had done so much worse than them. He’d damned this kid’s brother along with most of the planet, and he was feeding kids like this kid to monsters, but I hadn’t killed Sam when I had a chance. I don’t know if I ever would, because I didn’t think I could ever do that to Dean . . . maybe justice wasn’t completely blind . . . at least not the kind I was willing to hand out, and if I couldn’t do that blindly, then maybe I shouldn’t take it upon myself to do it at all . . . but then . . . something happened tonight that I couldn’t explain . . . when I shut my emotions down after I investigated that 4th stall and found a half-eaten fetus and most of that woman’s face gone . . . it was like a 6th sense that was dormant most of the time took over. 

I knew the sins of every man I encountered after that . . . for instance, the butcher had killed over 150 people, and only 94 of them had been killed on that farm. His two apprentices hadn’t done that kind of work until they got to the farm, but they’d killed 18 and 23, respectively, once they did, and they’d murdered people before the farm, but they’d used guns in those murders. If Crowley was bankrolling that place the way I suspected, he’d gone for the right kind of talent to run it. 

I didn’t kill Sam at the Devil’s gate when I could have . . . that 6th sense hadn’t kicked in there, so either not wanting to hurt Dean by killing Sam had overridden it . . . or maybe there was still some good in Sam, and he just needed to learn a lesson . . . a huge lesson, but a lesson, and it would remind him of what the wrong thing to do was. I already had something in the works on that for if and when I ever saw Sam again . . . I just needed the right moment to do it.

The boy was watching me and waiting for more on the people the human sister saved, so I finally answered, “She scared the women she and her new family saved, because she had . . . Halloween make up on that made her look scary . . . she didn’t like scaring people she saved, so it made her feel bad.” 

He smiled and said she was silly for wearing Halloween makeup around people who had been with monsters, but maybe she was trying to make them laugh and didn’t know it would scare them. 

“Nah, she just wasn’t thinking. She wasn’t trying to make them laugh . . . maybe she was worried the women she was saving were starting to turn into monsters, so she shouted at them when she shouldn’t have after what they’d been through.” 

He didn’t like that answer. “No, you said she used her mind, so she was thinking . . . I bet she wore the Halloween makeup to look scary and shouted at them to see if they were monsters. If they got scared, then they weren’t starting to turn into monsters . . . if they didn’t get scared, then they might be turning into monsters.” 

_What a smart kid._ Maybe it’d help build his confidence in speaking to other people if people told him he was right more often. “Meh . . . sort of. She forgot she was wearing the Halloween makeup, because she didn’t normally wear it, but she definitely shouted to try and find the potential monsters. Finding them was more important to her than protecting the other women’s feelings at the time, and that is why she felt bad about scaring them later, but she found two likely candidates. The two she found let the bad men know the women were escaping . . . She didn’t know if they told the bad men the others were escaping, because they were scared the bad men would find out and hurt them . . . if they were the type of people who did that, they might betray others in the future any time they were scared . . . or maybe they told the bad men, because they were eating monster food and didn’t want to be taken away from it, and that was more important to them than helping the other women get away . . . she’s still not sure if it was one or the other, but she intends to keep a close eye on them, because they’re dangerous either way.” He grinned and said he knew she’d do something like that and wanted to know why she was wearing the Halloween makeup if she didn’t normally wear it. 

“Uh, the, uh, well, she had to kill the monsters that the bad men were making too, and when she did that, the monsters threw the Halloween make up on her to . . . try and distract her, and then she set the barn they lived in on fire, so the soot from the smoke added to the makeup and make her look even scarier.” 

He wanted to know what happened to her after that, so I grinned and said, “She came to Missouri’s, got cleaned up, had some pizza, and told her story to the North Star.”

When I looked over at him, he looked really serious while he thought about what I’d just said, and then he smiled again and shook his head. “We’ll see. The man she was looking for her whole life and saved from her monster sister . . . she found him when she got to Earth, and he’s in the house right now talking to Missouri . . . you could ask him about it, or you could write out your questions for him if you don’t feel like talking. His name is Dean. He’s the best monster killer that ever lived, and he’s really nice. My name is Beth, and I think I’ll go to sleep, because I’m tired. I’ve had a busy night. What’s your name?” 

He told me his name while we got up, and I said, “Well, Ezra . . . I think you’re living up to the meaning of your name. You should talk to people who feel bad more often, because you know just the right things to say to make them feel better. Thanks,” before I helped him down from the roof, and then we headed back inside.


	50. Prevention Is the Key

Dean watched Beth leave the room and angrily turned towards Missouri. “Do you know what happened tonight?” That welcome was the last thing Beth had needed. 

“I do. She just needs to feel more like herself, and you need to talk to her.” He _had_ been talking to her to get her off that bullshit she was thinking that she was a monster or a demon. Any chance he might’ve had to talk her around was gone. She wouldn’t listen to him now, and now he was starting to understand why she’d been so pushy after what happened with that first trading post they found.

“Best thing for her was getting away from there. If she’s not up for you talkin’ to her now that you were interrupted, then do something to make her feel better without it.” Missouri replied while sitting down in a chair across from the couch. She indicated that Dean and Cas should sit across from her, and Dean glanced at the hall Beth had gone down one more time before giving Missouri what she wanted. 

Cas took his seat next to Dean and leaned into his shoulder before saying, “I want to talk to you . . . later.” 

_Whatever it is, he doesn’t want Missouri to know about it._ “Is it anything I need to be worried about?” 

Cas shook his head. “No, if you want to talk to Beth about what happened tonight, then you need to understand what happened, and I was there. I helped her for a reason, and Beth doesn’t have all the answers yet.” 

Missouri cut in and said, “I think that’d be a good idea,” before she told Beth where to get more water. After Beth was gone, Missouri, added, “Looks like you and me have more in common than we did the last time I saw you, Dean.” 

“Nah, it’s just something I have with Beth . . . not everybody else.” 

“It’s the same thing. You can pick up on what she’s thinkin’ a hell of a lot better than you let on. Now imagine bein’ able to do that with everybody else, and you’ll know why I’m not too happy about this new hunter program Beth started up in Heaven. Ever since you talked to the first ones last night and told them you were coming to see me, the rest of them have decided they can come and bother me whenever they want . . . It’s probably worse for Pamela, because she’s the one that opened up the first line of communication, so you and Beth had better apologize to her when you see her next.” 

It wasn’t a bad thing. The hunters wanted to help, and it seemed like they had their fight back. Dean had to hide a grin when Cas said, “Then it’s good that you will be coming with us tomorrow,” because Dean knew what kind of a reaction that would get out of Missouri. 

“What makes you think I wanna go to your camp? These two are a magnet for trouble, and I can look out for the people here just fine myself.” 

Dean covered his laugh with a cough when Cas answered, “You’ve already decided. You want the security our camp provides . . . you also want to help Pamela with the hunters in Heaven, so she can return to finding people on supply runs.” 

Missouri looked at Dean in annoyance instead of Cas. “You think it’s funny now that the shoe is on the other foot?” 

He grinned wider. “Yeah, I do . . . what else is she thinkin’ Cas?” 

Cas opened his mouth to say something else, but Missouri interrupted him. “Too bad you won’t get to find out then, because Castiel and me are gonna have a chat while you go take your girl in there some clean clothes.” 

_Damn._ Dean got to his feet and clapped Cas on the shoulder. “Have fun with that one, Cas.” He made a last minute decision to take Missouri up on her advice and grabbed a couple of things from his bag to put in Beth’s. She’d had a bad day, so maybe this would help? 

When he knocked on the door, Beth opened it holding her bloody clothes in one hand and looked up at him in confusion, but then she relaxed and decided to go with it. It didn’t look like she was up for talking at all. This was new territory for him. She needed to be taken care of more now than she used to need it, and he liked that she let him do that for her . . . It finally gave him a chance to do for her what she always did for him. Forcing her to talk to him wasn’t the right move right now. He figured the best way to take care of her this time was to keep doing what he was doing and wait for her to let him know when she was ready, because she would eventually. 

When he went back to the living room, he asked Missouri if she’d been taking any of the messages from the hunters that’d tried getting in touch, but she asked if he was crazy and said if she did that then they’d all start coming to her. She had a point. Maybe they should set up a day and time when the hunters could show up, so Missouri and Pamela wouldn’t be bombarded with it all the time. Missouri smiled at what he’d been thinking and said she’d be all right with that. She’d just been waiting for him to come around to her way of thinking on his own. He didn’t think the hunters in Heaven would find many people, but maybe they could look into other things they needed help with down here. 

Missouri told them how she’d gotten all the way to Maine, and why she’d come here instead of Wisconsin . . . She was waiting for them to get set up and actually did think they were too big of a magnet for evil until that was done. She was telling he and Cas how she’d set things up in this house and a couple more houses in the neighborhood when she paused and rolled her eyes. “Castiel, go tell Beth she can have whatever she wants out of the icebox.” That reminded Dean of something he needed Cas to get for Beth, so Missouri handed him a pencil and paper without him having to ask, and he wrote the specifics down, handed it to Cas when he got back, and asked Cas if he could try to find it.

“You are always on, aren’t you? You can’t give yourself a moment’s peace and quiet. Go ahead and ask your question,” Missouri asked a few minutes later. 

“Am I gonna be able to pull him back from this?” There. He finally said it. 

“There is a dark cloud hangin’ over that boy right now . . . the plans you’ve got might get him to stop what he’s doing, but you can’t erase what already’s been done.” 

“But if I get him to stop . . . take all his pieces off the board . . . give him something that we can fight against together like we used to do. Part of him wants that . . . he said it at the –“ 

“The best I can say is we’ll see . . . if you can get him to stop, but don’t kid yourself, Dean . . . You won’t be able to forgive him just like that either.” 

He knew that, but he wasn’t done fighting for Sam. He didn’t think anything Sam did going forward could be any worse than what he’d already done, so Sam was at his rock bottom. The first thing Dean had to do was another raid on the rest of those trading posts, so he could be another step closer to shutting Vegas down and getting Sam back. He’d rather be doing that than be on this mission where they weren’t going to find any of the people he’d saved while he was a hunter . . . but it had helped them shut down that wendigo farm, so it hadn’t all been in vain. 

That’s what he could have the Dean Hunter’s Society look into if they wanted something to do. He needed to find out if there were more places like that wendigo farm out there. He assumed his Mom only knew about the one in North Dakota because of Gwen being there, but there had to be more out there. Crowley wouldn’t have just had one. Those farms needed to be shut down as much as the convoys out of Vegas needed to be stopped, and that was going to be harder to do the next time they did it.

He figured Sam probably stopped his prisoner transport for a few weeks until he could see how many more monster alliances were left . . . if they even wanted to stay his allies after half of the others had been wiped out in a week . . . There would be decoy trucks mixed in with the other trucks to send them to the wrong places, and there’d be traps set up along the way too. All of that would’ve taken time to get ready, or Dean hoped it had. Either way those convoys had probably started back up again or would be soon. 

As soon as they got back to the camp tomorrow morning, he was organizing another raid. He’d talk to his Mom, Dad, Ellen, and Jo tomorrow night, confirm they hadn’t found anybody else, put them onto looking for more of Crowley’s monster farms, and then they could head out to Vegas the day after that . . . Beth probably wouldn’t want to sit the next Vegas convoy mission out. She hadn’t gotten to do the last one . . . He’d try to talk her out of it. 

“You know you won’t be able to talk her out of it once she gets her head right, so get used to the idea that she’s going with you. You need to talk to her about your plans for Sam though.” 

“Before she kills him? Yeah, I know.” Dean hadn’t realized he thought that until he said it, but now that he thought about it, after what she did tonight, it was a possibility. 

Missouri laughed. “You think she couldn’t have killed Sam at that last Devil’s Gate by doin’ what you couldn’t? What did she do?” 

_I remember she thought about doing it._

“She thought about doing it to keep you and whatever it is she’s hiding in that head of hers safe . . . Why do you think she found another way? She has a way of knowin’ the right type of punishment that should be doled out . . . not quite sure what it is that lets her know . . . something to do with her soul. Ask your angel friend. He understands it . . . It’s what he wants to talk to you about . . . No, you need to tell her your plans for Sam, because she’ll want to go with you to Las Vegas when you’re finally ready to confront him in person. The sooner you start trying to convince her to stay behind, the sooner she’ll be able to convince you to bring her with you, because her trailing off after you if you leave her behind would be a very bad thing.” 

Dean already knew how that conversation would go. He’d say he didn’t want her there. She’d say she wasn’t letting him go on his own. He’d come up with a few reasons why she shouldn’t, and she’d argue against them and then play with her words to make him think he won when she’d really meant something else, and then she’d follow him. She’d gotten more and more stubborn about finding ways around his arguments.

Dean and Missouri talked about what she wanted to do when she got to their camp for another half hour, and then Missouri looked towards the hallway behind her. “It took me months to get this boy to say 2 words to me, and he still won’t say much more than that . . . He wants to talk to you, but I wouldn’t expect him to say anything . . . he’ll probably write it.” She used the chair to help her stand up and talked to the person hiding in the hallway. “Go on in and see what he has to say, Ezra. I’m gonna get to bed, and you should too when you’re done. We’ve got a big day ahead of us.” 

The kid who came around the corner was about 10 and had a notebook and pencil with him. The boy looked cold, like maybe he’d been outside and just came back in. If he had been, it fit with Dean knowing Beth was outside until a few minutes ago. Maybe that’s why the kid wanted to talk to him? Ezra took the seat across from Dean and watched him for a minute before he squinted, like he thought of what he wanted to say and started scribbling in the notepad. When he was done, he turned it around for Dean to read. 

_‘What’s your job?’_

Dean smiled and thought about what he should say. He figured Beth probably told this kid, and the kid was trying to corroborate her story for whatever reason. “I’m a hunter . . . I kill monsters and demons. Beth does too. We do it together.” 

The kid nodded, like that was the right answer and wrote down another question. 

_'How did she save you?’_

Dean smiled briefly. “Which time . . . she kind of does it just be being around every day.” 

Ezra wrote, _’Before she met you,’_ , and Dean’s eyes narrowed in thought. How would Beth have explained that to a kid? 

“Uh, she had God kill her twin . . . Her twin was a monster . . . and I didn’t know she was even though it’s my job to know somethin’ like that.” 

The kid smiled and got up to leave the room after a small wave goodnight, but Dean had a few questions of his own. “Wait, uh, how’d you get her to talk to you?” 

The kid scribbled something else and turned it around for Dean to see. _’I showed her my star.’_

“Is she all right? She had a rough night. Did she say -“ 

The kid huffed and grabbed Dean’s hand, pulled Dean behind him until they got to a door, and then stopped and pointed. Right. The kid wasn’t their go between. If Dean wanted to find out, then he could ask her. He nodded to let the kid know he got it, and told the kid goodnight before turning to open the door. He was a little surprised when he heard the kid say, “Good night, Dean. Don’t worry. She’s better now,” but when he turned around, the kid was already gone.


	51. Everyday Life

We’d been living the last few weeks with one foot in the camp and one foot out looking for survivors the dead hunters put us onto. Pamela and Stephen had already gone to Vegas to find out if the convoys were going out again and if they were what changes had been made to the routine. When they got back, they said the only things leaving the walls were the odd truck, but no convoys. Pamela didn’t think it’d be too much longer before they started up again, and Stephen thought that whatever they were planning to keep the convoys from being hijacked again must be big if they’d taken this long. He’d tried following the random trucks that left, but they didn’t seem to lead anywhere important. They were doing one of two things, looking for food or more prisoners. They didn’t find any prisoners, but they did find some food, so I guess at least the kids were being fed until they were sold to feed monsters. 

If Pamela thought the convoys were be going out soon, we’d have to prioritize Vegas and put a hold on finding the people the Dead Hunter’s Society sent our way. It’d actually been a kind of successful operation, depending on how you looked at it. 

We’d started with Dean’s list of past hunting victim’s and there were more that were still alive than he’d thought there’d be, so he was happy with the results. One of the people we found had left one of those messages with Croats in the background. It was from a man named Jerry. Dean had helped him twice, once on a poltergeist case with his Dad, and once with Sam when a demon was crashing planes. Jerry’s whole family, their next door neighbors, and the next door neighbor’s granddaughter were all alive when we found them in a cabin at Crooked Creek Park Lake in Pennsylvania. 

We found a young woman named Charlie that Dean and Sam had saved from Bloody Mary, and she had her fiancé with her. There was a Sarah from a haunted painting case and her dad and new husband Ian. We found a girl named Becky and her brother Zach from a shifter case. Thankfully, they’d moved out of St. Louis before the virus hit, but their parents unfortunately hadn’t. Becky and Zach’s spouses were with them, and Zach’s wife’s parents were with them too. We found a teenager named Michael, his little brother, and a couple of the little brother’s friends. Dean knew them from a striga hunt. There was a detective named Diana who made it out of Baltimore before that city fell. 

There were a few more from other cases on down through the years, but we weren’t done with his list yet. I knew he was happy with what we’d found so far, but I wished there were more. On the other hand, the Dead Hunter’s Society had handed us about 100 other names from their hunting days, which included saves from Jim Murphy, Caleb, Bill, and other associates of John, as well as John’s saves, and it all kind of snowballed out of control. 

It was tiring work on top of being at the camp and my training sessions for the women from the wendigo farm, along with helping with building the mess hall, and teaching classes, keeping up with the outposts, greenhouses, council meetings, and everything else we normally had to do. I felt like taking a break from it for an hour or two, so I went to take a nap on one of our down days at the camp and woke up to Dean crawling over over me. 

“I thought you were supposed to be teaching science until you went to the outposts for your hunter training.” 

“I made up the lessons for the different age groups after we got back last night, but then I was too tired to give them, so I gave my notes to Dr. Thomas, and she said she’d do it.” 

“So, it has nothing to do with you chopping down trees earlier? I thought the Doc said not to do that anymore.” He gave me a smirk, like he’d caught me. 

“I’m not supposed to lift what I chop, and I didn’t cut that many down . . . I was mostly shaping them to go in the mess hall.” 

He didn’t buy that I hadn’t been lifting things I shouldn’t be but dropped it before he smiled again. “What about angel blade training? You sure you should be doing that?” _Oh, he can be so annoying sometimes._ He grinned wider. He liked winding me up now that he could. 

“If Ellen was right and Eve ‘The mother of all the monsters’ was really sprung by Crowley, then I need to be in tip top shape. I also need to make sure that I’m not rusty when we go to Vegas.” 

He bit his bottom lip and said, “Yeah, about that –“

I wasn’t going to let him sideline me for that one, so I stopped him. “You said until I start showing, and I haven’t yet. You can’t go back on it now.” 

He lifted my shirt to look at my stomach before he shook his head. “Not yet . . . but I might’ve been wrong when I said that, cuz if you think demons are gonna pull punches just remember what they did to you the last time they had you.” 

I turned my head to the side and sighed. “I was ambushed that time. I always keep my angel blade on me now, which is another reason you should be glad I’ve been practicing with Cas, because I won’t let that happen again.“

_Keep ‘em coming. It won’t make a difference._

“What about the ones at all the gates? They picked you up and slammed you into things all the time.” 

I looked up at him again, and countered, “How many demons picked you up and tossed you the last time you went to get the convoys leaving Vegas? None. And I’m a good shot, so it won’t come to that.” 

“What if it’s not demons? How’d it go with that shifter me you fought?” 

“How’d it go for the 4 other shifter yous I shot?” 

He looked a little frustrated before he leaned down to kiss me. He wanted to use it as a distraction, while he came up with something else to say, but it wasn’t long before he settled down on top of me. I gently bit his lower lip before I pulled back to say breathily, “I’ll think about it later . . . and get back to you,” but I hadn’t really needed to say it, because by then he was only thinking about one thing.

_Uh, these two . . . blah._ I pulled in through the gates of Jess’s camp, where they did the ice fishing. It was already nearly dark, and these two were always the last ones I trained for my Hunter Training for Women class. The rest of the women were willing to try with the training. Most of them had gone to the farms and the seamstress . . . a couple decided that learning how to hunt game was something they wanted to do . . . When they got here, Gwen gave them the all clear as far as eating humans went, so we let them go there, and after getting to know them during our training sessions, I didn’t think they’d use humans as big game, but these two . . . 

They were a pain in the ass with all their whining, and the other women they’d been kept with knew very little about them other than they’d been there the longest. Even the woman in the second stall said they’d been there before she’d been put in the house and stayed after she got put in the barn. They kept to themselves, and nobody could verify what they did and did not eat. I knew it was wrong to dislike them given what they’d been through, but there was just something off about them. I’d have preferred to leave them in the middle of nowhere to be honest, but we couldn’t do that. I promised self-defense, which is what I was teaching them, but unlike with the other women . . . there was no weapons training for these two.

There were also a few of the captives from the wendigo barn in this outpost, so I trained them here too. A lot of them didn’t want to be put into the normal hunter training that Rufus and Bobby still helped Adam run at the main camp. Rufus and Bobby could be quite gruff and intimidating. Max had felt the same way when she first got to the camp, but I’d worked with her, and now she worked with Jody as part of our camp security. She didn’t want to go out on the supply runs anymore, and she’d been really happy when she passed all of Jody’s tests to get the job, so I kept the regimen pretty close to the one I’d used with her. 

The people from the wendigo farm were adjusting okay-ish in the outposts they’d chosen. A lot of them were withdrawn, but they talked amongst themselves. The doctor agreed they all needed the one-on-one counseling once a week for now . . . she thought the group counseling could be voluntary. Some of them went and others didn’t, and that was fine. Dr. Thomas was relying on her knowledge from her psychiatry rotation in med school to run all the sessions, and she was prescribing medication for some of them now, but not most of them. 

I only knew that, because I was the one that made sure we stocked up on specific medications the doctor needed when people went out on supply runs. The doctor didn’t seem to mind doing the psychiatry. She said she had more time on her hands than she should, because Cas kept healing people for her, which annoyed her, so she was glad she could do something he couldn’t . . . she was also starting up a new medical school for young adults, but she had high standards, so she’d only agreed to work with two of them, and she’d told Cas that once they started passing the book exams, he’d have to stop healing everybody, so they could get practical experience, or it wouldn’t work. 

Jess came out and met me when she saw me hop out of the truck. She was nice. She was in her mid-40s, and she and her son and daughter had been up here when the outbreak happened, so this was her cabin. She liked fishing, and since she knew the lakes well, that’s what she’d decided they would specialize in here. Their wall was already done, and they had a couple of new cabins for all the new people they’d been brought lately. They housed people a lot more comfortably than we did at the moment, but we’d get back to working on that when the mess hall was done. She was a good leader . . . all of the leaders of the outposts had done a good job of taking on that role. 

After the initial greetings, she took me around and showed me how everything was running . . . we usually did this with every outpost every time we went to them, which was about 2 or 3 times a week, because it helped us get to know their operations better, and if they needed anything they could tell us, and we’d get it on our supply runs, and they also let us know if they had something knew in the pipeline in the way of products they wanted to start trying to make . . . they were usually excited to show off what they’d been doing, and if they had any problems or needed extra help on a project, then we’d help them take care of it. 

After scribbling down notes, so I didn’t forget anything she needed, we talked about problems they were fixing and then moved on to normal chit chat before she took me to the square they’d set up in the middle of their camp. That’s where I did my training sessions. The snow was always cleared off there and seemed like a tranquil garden with benches set up along the outside of the square, shrubs dotted around it, and there was a little frozen pond with landscaping stones around it in the middle. It really was a nice camp. 

“I think if I ever get any spare time, I’d like to go fishing with you out on the lake some time. Might be kind of nice.” She smiled and said we could make a day of it if I wanted to bring a bottle of whiskey . . . uh, yeah . . . it’d be awhile before I had any free time. I could probably drink by then, so told her she was on. 

Just before she turned to leave, she stopped and took a step closer to me. “Listen, they still haven’t admitted to anything . . . Are the others still on extra chores, because of them?” 

“Yeah, but the others are on pretty light extra chores, since it’s been going on this long . . . more or less picking up socks off the floor or something small like that, but they don’t need to know that . . . as far as they know, everybody else is on the same type of cleaning chores they are. Have they picked any jobs to do yet?” 

“They seem to have their eyes set on patrols or camp security.” 

That made me laugh. “Yeah, I bet they do. I told them they couldn’t do them.” She looked at me quizzically, so I explained, “Patrols . . . they can sneak out and go find someone to give our location to for a better deal, and security’s not happening, because Dean thinks someone like them would open the gates to any enemy that comes along if they think they can get in their good books . . . They have no loyalty to any of those women that were there with them for so long, so why should we think they would have it to us. I hate to say it, but I still wouldn’t leave anyone alone with them either . . . everyone else from that farm has been cleared by Dr. Thomas, but there are still some question marks I have for Abbey and Cameron . . . I’ll see what I can do about them not working . . . Leave it with me.” 

She glanced over my shoulder in their direction and gave me a nod before she asked me if she needed to be worried about her daughter. _What do I say to that? I told them they could pick wherever they wanted to live, and where else are we going to put them?_

“Honestly . . . I wouldn’t leave my daughter alone around them. There’s a reason they aren’t allowed in the main camp with all the kids we have unless we’ve got security tailing them to and from the doctor’s office. I told them all they could choose which outpost they wanted, and they picked this one . . . if you don’t want them here . . . I’ll find somewhere else for them . . . anywhere except the game hunters . . . I don’t want them near any weapons.” 

She thought for a minute and said, “I’ll tell you what . . . if you get them to pick a job and admit they were the ones that sold the other’s out by the time you leave tonight, they can stay,” before she grinned, because she knew that’d be impossible. I returned the smile, because I understood, and I didn’t want her to think I held it against her. If she didn’t want them around her daughter, I’d just have to ask the other outposts if they would take them.

“Yeah, it’s a deal, but if I fail, give me a couple of days to sort out somewhere else to put them . . . and if I succeed, I’ll still find somewhere else to put them.” She looked relieved at that, and a weight I hadn’t noticed the whole time I’d been talking to her seemed to lift off her shoulders. “Do you think they’re off, or is it what you’ve heard about them?” 

She looked at them over my shoulder again. “I don’t like them . . . I heard the same things about the others from that farm before they got here, and the others are fine, but there’s just something not right about those two.” At least it wasn’t just me. 

I didn’t get them to do either thing by the end of the night, but I didn’t even try. Tonight my only goal was to see if I could get them to pick somewhere else to go . . . It looked like I’d be sending them to Karen, the seamstress. She had a pretty big group of people there now, but she had room. It’s just that she also had a son, but he was an older teenager, and he spent a lot of time at our camp, since he was one of the two that Dr. Thomas wanted to train as a future doctor. Karen had a decent security detail too, so they didn’t need Abbey and Cameron to fill any positions.

That night I was craving carrots, so when I got to Ivan, I asked for more than the 3 or 4 tinned baby carrots he gave me. Dean had told him weeks before to give me whatever I wanted whenever I wanted it. The excuse he’d given was that I’d lost too much weight when we’d been gone for those 3 months, and Ivan had done it so far, but this time he gave me a hard time about it. It was so much easier to have these conversations with him in Russian, because nobody else knew what we were saying, and since I’d gotten my memories from Heaven back, I was fluent now. 

Finally, Yuri came up, and they played good cop, bad cop until I finally told them why I wanted the damn carrots, and they both started beaming, because they’d already figured it out and had put the whole thing on as an act to get it out of me before they called their wives in and there was a mini-Russian celebration that nobody else in the camp understood. Having gotten extra of everything on my plate, I sat down between Dean and Stephen. They actually got along pretty well together now. Stephen glanced at the Russians still shouting back and forth and looking happy and wanted to know what happened. “I’ll teach you Russian some time, and you can find out.” He took that as a challenge and said he’d find out sooner than it would take him to learn Russian.

Dean leaned into my shoulder when Stephen got preoccupied with Pamela. “We’ll talk about it later.” _He’s not nearly as upset about it as he wants me to think he is. He thinks he can use this to his advantage somehow._

That night when he climbed into bed next to me, Dean said, “I thought we weren’t telling anyone until . . . you know, we couldn’t hide it anymore.” 

Yeah, we’d said that, and I was sticking to it. “They already figured it out. It’s kinda hard to hide it from the people who give me egg and grilled cheese sandwiches at all hours of the day and more of some foods at dinner and less of other foods I used to eat all the time.” 

He gave me an unsure look. “And you couldn’t come up with anything better than the truth?” 

I shook my head. “Not if I wanted the carrots. They were holding them hostage.” 

He laughed and said, “You sold our kid out for some carrots?” 

“They were really good carrots.” 

He leaned forward and said something really fast, that I didn’t quite catch before he tried to distract me with his tongue in my mouth, but I caught enough of it that I pushed back and said, “You did what?” 

“What? We were already gonna ask him, so I did it a few weeks ago.” _A few weeks ago?_

Because of the way he looked like he was expecting me to be mad, I couldn’t be mad at him. “Is that why he’s been following me around more when you’re not there? I bet he’s the one that told you I was chopping trees down . . . So how’d you explain the whole godfather thing to Cas?“

“I just told him if anything happens to us, he’s the one we want to take care of our kid, and that he has to keep it safe while we were still around too . . . and I may have said he has to get our kid lots of presents like every couple of months.” 

I laughed at the last part. “Maybe he’ll show up with a pony.” 

Dean leaned towards me again and said, “He’ll keep it interesting. Kinda hoping he picks up some good weapons I can confiscate and keep for myself,” just before his lips found mine. 

He was getting excited about the whole idea of being a dad, which made me worry. I still wasn’t ready for it, and he was. He had been, since just after I told him. I didn’t want to let him down or have him be disappointed if this thing went south, which could easily happen with our lives and the way things worked out for both of us. I was still concerned that there was no sign of it in Chuck’s prophecies. The reason we hadn’t told anyone, except Cas, Dr. Thomas, and now the Russians, was because if it didn’t happen, I didn’t want everyone reminding Dean of it with their looks or their concern for his wellbeing, because it’d hit him hard.


	52. Breaching the Walls of Vegas

They were about 4 hours into their drive to Vegas when Cas said, “Dean, I think we should stop.” _What? Why?_ Dean looked over at him and caught the hint of a smile on Cas’s face before the angel looked out the passenger side window and added, “Beth’s in the back, and I think it’s probably too cold for her to be out there anymore.” _Son of a bitch!_

Dean hit the brakes and told Bobby to take the lead before he hopped out of the cab and up onto the side of the truck. She looked cold but happy when she saw him. After she had one leg over the side of the truck she said with a smile, “I never said I was staying there,” just as Stephen and Pamela drove by at the tail end of the convoy and blared their horn at them. _Everyone’s gonna know about it now. Awesome._

Dean gave her a fake laugh before his smile dropped. “You won’t think it’s so funny when I have Cas take you back.” 

She gave him a soft smile and shook her head. “Nah, you won’t do that. You might be pissed off, but you wouldn’t physically force me to do something I don’t want to do.” _Damnit._ He gave in with a sigh before he dropped to the ground and helped her down. 

He’d thought that was too easy. Now that he thought about it, she hadn’t actually said that she would stay, so she was right about that too. This was exactly what she told him she’d do the day they met, and she was still doing it . . . _‘I won’t fight you on it . . . I’ll just do whatever I want to do anyway, because I’m a fucking free agent,’_ He was annoyed she out and out won this time. Maybe he was as competitive as she was . . . maybe. She was pretty bad. 

“How the hell did you keep me from knowing you were back there?” he asked, pulling back out onto the road to go catch up to the others. 

“I’ve been working on the specifics of how I can block you from knowing what I’m thinking, and I think I figured out how to jam your Beth tracker.” 

_Someone’s proud of herself._ “Since when?” 

She smiled again and replied coyly, “You tell me.” It’d been every so often for the last week. He’d noticed. It felt hazy and like she could be a few different places, but nowhere specific. He might have thought it was because she was pregnant, so he hadn’t questioned it. That’s why he hadn’t paid attention to it today. She’d had this in the works all week if she’d been doing it to get him used to it happening, so she could be here now. Looking over at her, she smirked at him, so yeah that’s why she’d done it. 

He looked past her at Cas. “And you knew about this?” Cas nodded but didn’t say anything . . . Cas couldn’t sense where she was with those markings on their ribs, so how did Cas know she was back there? Maybe Cas heard her, but Cas had to have been able to hear her from the time she got in there. Dean thought about it for a minute before quickly looking at Cas and saying, “You put her back there?” 

Beth laughed and Cas responded, “She said I could not fulfill my duties as godfather if she wasn’t with me.” 

_I bet she did . . . right after she said, ‘If Dean catches on that you were involved just play dumb and say this . . ._ “ His two best friends conspired against him. _Why don’t they think this is a bad idea?_

“She is safest when she is with you and I . . . and if anything happened to you again, she’d rather be with you than not.” 

Dean looked at Beth to see if that was something that really worried her, and she glanced at Cas with a smile. “Pretty much sums it up.” Fine. She could stay, and he wouldn’t give her a hard time about it, but he still told Cas to stop reading his mind. Cas did it to annoy him now. Gabriel had been a bad influence on him, because ever since their little angel campfire, Cas had thought it was funny to do things like that or help Beth stow away in the back of the truck or randomly pop up and scare people. Dean would give Cas that last one. It didn’t really faze Dean anymore, but the reaction Cas got from the other people at camp was usually funny. Still, he wondered how long it would be until Cas was their full-fledged resident prankster once he got a good idea of what worked and what didn’t.

When they got to Vegas this time, they stopped near the mountains to the north in case security had been amped up after their last visit, and so they could observe from a higher elevation. That night they gave Cas the thermal digital camera. He was going to go invisible and fly over the area between them and the city to see if he could get pictures of anything that they needed to know about. If there was something there that’d kept the monsters away from the walls, they needed to figure out what it was and if it could be gotten around. Once closer to the city, Cas would switch to the high res camera to get some aerial photos. Cas still couldn’t go into Vegas, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t fly around it and get pictures of everything inside. 

They didn’t know when the trucks were going to leave, so they were going to wait until they did . . . They had Cas to help know which trucks were decoys. He’d know which ones had humans in the back and which had nothing in them or maybe just monsters ready to ambush them. He was going to tag the trucks that had kids in ‘em with one of Beth’s blue paintballs in the upper right corner of the back door, so teams would know not to follow the ones without any paint. Cas would also help where he could on flying ahead of the rescue trucks to see if there were any ambushes or traps set up along the way . . . Just like last time, Cas was going to play a vital role in the rescue mission, but they had the numbers and trucks to go with the leapfrogging idea Dean’d had, so Cas didn’t have to spend all his time tracking down convoys that got lost while people were taking out trading posts. 

Cas left to take pictures, and Beth took first watch. She decided that she wanted to do that by sitting on top the truck, so she could watch their backs better. Dean had only been asleep for about an hour and a half when he woke up to Beth climbing in the truck and tapping out the Morse code for ‘return’ once through the two-way radio. 

_That’s one way around the radio silence. When did she teach Cas Morse code? Or did he already know it? No, Cas hadn’t been on Earth for a long time when he came to get me, and we don’t really use it. She had to have taught him._

Dean didn’t have to ask her what was going on, because she handed him her long-range thermal night vision binoculars and pointed towards the city. “What the fuck are those?” There were three flying forms roughly a mile or two outside of the city with a wingspan about 60 feet wide and bodies at least twice Dean’s height.

“Harpies,” Cas answered as he landed between Dean and Beth. _What is it with Sam and female monsters? Ruby, Meg, Rachel, and fucking harpies?_

“Guess we know why the monsters didn’t get too close to the city the last time you guys were here . . . good thing you guys didn’t get any closer,” Beth said before she asked Cas for the cameras to see what Cas captured. “He has helicopters.” Beth zoomed in on one of the pictures and showed it to Dean. _Sonofabitch._ Those choppers were there to either accompany the convoys or transport the kids. Either way that sucked.

“How about we take 4 people . . . sabotage the helicopters, so they don’t know it was us . . . make it look like it was somebody working for Crowley . . . And scratch out a few of the angel wards, while we’re there, so we can start working on a way for Cas to get in there with us when we’re ready to storm the place in the future,” Beth said a minute later with her binoculars glued to her eyes as she watched the harpies.

Yeah, Dean was itching to see what was inside those walls. Getting a closer look was something they needed to do sooner or later. Might as well be sooner . . . maybe they could take out all of Sam’s air support in one go . . . unless Sam had planes stashed somewhere, but they’d deal with those if and when they had to do it. 

“We’d have to sabotage more than the choppers otherwise they’ll know it was us . . . they’d wonder why those were the only things touched,” Dean said watching the harpies through his own binoculars. “How do we get past the harpies to get in there?” 

Cas said he would handle them. They couldn’t speak . . . they squawked or screeched, so it’s not like they could tell Sam anything . . . _How did Sam tame them? One of his demons is probably controlling them._ Keeping the harpies alive might even make the sabotage thing work more in their favor if Cas released them again after whoever went into Vegas went in . . . it wouldn’t look like anything was – 

“When did they show up Cas?” Beth asked interrupting Dean’s planning. 

“There were lights outside that turned on when I flew over the north and west walls. The harpies came out of the city right after that.” 

_Motion sensors._ “Cas, go see if you can find a couple of monsters hanging around nearby, take ‘em to the northwest corner without anyone seeing you, and drop ‘em off, so they have somethin’ to blame that on.” They needed to give Sam something fast if they didn’t want to blow this. Cas was gone for about 5 minutes before he came back and said it was done. 

“Yeah, no kidding. They’re ripping them apart,” Beth said enthralled by what she was watching before she made a face and put the binoculars down. “Definitely done now. Don’t get caught by the harpies . . . not a pleasant way to go. What were they?” Cas said they were kitsunes . . . didn’t matter to Dean . . . just two more monsters they didn’t have to deal with later.

“I need to hear you say it,” Dean said turning back towards Beth. He was getting ready to leave with Ivan, Yuri, and Stephen. 

Beth grinned and said, “I promise I won’t sneak inside Vegas to sabotage the helicopters.” 

Dean’s eyes narrowed before he added, “Or to scratch out the wards. We’ve got it covered.” She bit her bottom lip and nodded in agreement with that too. “Or whatever else you’ve got planned.” There was no way she didn’t have something else in mind. 

She shrugged innocently and said, “Wouldn’t dream of it.” Dean knew how she worked. That just meant she literally wouldn’t dream of what she was planning. 

“Cas needs you as backup.” 

Beth replied drily, “Yeah . . . being carried off by harpies is so much less dangerous than –“ She stopped when she saw the effect her joking had on him. “I promise I won’t let that happen.” 

If she were anyone else he wouldn’t worry about her, because she was good . . . and he did trust her. “Just whatever you do . . . make sure you have a way to stay in touch with Cas if you need his help.” She smiled at his response and grabbed his hand to take him to the back of their snow plough before she pointed towards the bed and said she’d made him a present. He just had to go get it first. 

After he fished it out and handed it to her, she grabbed a few thick rubber bands from her bag before she put a flashlight on top of the piece of wood, strapped the whole thing together with the rubber bands, and added a small magnifying glass through the hole in the end before holding it out to appraise it. When she decided it was done she handed it back to him. “Turn the flashlight on, shine it against the truck, and move it along the longer plank until it’s in focus.” 

He did what she said, and then laughed briefly. “You made a hand held bat signal?” 

“Yeah, they were one of my physics lessons for the kids. It may not look like the bat signal unless it’s shining against something up close, but it’ll still act as a long-range spotlight for when you need to let Cas know you’re done. We’ve been working on it, and he’s good at spotting it in just a second or two, so you don’t need to turn it on for long . . . you know since you’ll have to be radio silent too, and we don’t want any other angels to possibly hear us praying to him. He’ll zap you guys back here when you’re done.” 

_They’ve been practicing with these and Morse code?_ Why did Dean get the feeling she and Cas had been planning to go into Vegas all along? He had a feeling she was planning on trying to bring Vegas down on this mission for no other reason than to get it done before she started showing. He didn’t want her to rush them into anything before they were ready just because he’d given her that deadline. 

Whatever she was planning . . . she wouldn’t do it right now. They had other things to worry about first . . . He also found himself thinking that he might’ve been a little more interested in school if he had a hot teacher that taught him how to make the bat signal. “Why does Cas get to be Batman?” he asked after he put the bat signal in his duffle bag and started walking with her towards the rest of the group. 

“You can play Batman when you don’t have to play Commissioner Gordon anymore.” It was things like this that he loved about her. She shouldn’t even be here, but she was, and she’d given him the bat signal. He cut off whatever she going to say after that by pulling her behind one of the trucks, so he could take advantage of the time they had left. She pushed him back a few minutes later a little breathless. “See you are distracting on missions. Definitely a con.” She might’ve said that, but the sultry look she got when she wanted more of him was still there . . . She was right though. They had things to do, so he reminded her to be careful before he went back to the others, and Cas sent them to the wall around Sam’s camp.

“I can see why you and Beth take that angel with you everywhere,” Stephen said as the four of them pressed their backs up against the wall in the darkest part of the shadows near the northeast guard tower. This was all about timing. They couldn’t kill any of the guards . . . they’d give away that they’d been here if they did that, and they couldn’t be seen by the cameras that were also scanning the area. 

“Yeah, he’s not bad when you’re bleeding out or in a fight either. Can’t get in here with us tonight though. We’re on our own.” Dean threw the grappling hook up and waited to see if it’d been heard before testing that it would hold his weight. _So far so good._ Now they needed to wait until the next window of opportunity. He’d go first, then signal when the next person could come over. 

“Gotta say I’m surprised that Beth’s not here with the way she snuck on this mission,” Stephen said just before they all shrunk back a bit further into the shadows as a guard walked by above them. Stephen grinned when the demon was gone. “She’s up to something else isn’t she? Did she tell you what it was?” Dean looked at him but didn’t say anything, so Stephen said, “You’ll have a hard time taming that one.” 

Beth didn’t need to be tamed . . . Dean wanted to keep her safe, but he never wanted to tame her . . . It’d been a long learning curve for him, but he’d finally figured out the balancing act that made it work. He liked what they had, and he liked that she always kept him guessing . . . He’d always kinda liked that she didn’t listen to him even if he’d never tell her that, so Dean shook his head. “Wouldn’t want to . . . wouldn’t be any fun if I could . . . and there’s no way in hell, Pamela is gonna go for it either.” 

Then Yuri whispered, “You want spirit in a woman.” 

And Ivan stoically said, “If you want something to tame . . . go find a horse . . . A man marries a woman hoping she will not change.” 

Stephen smiled. “Didn’t Einstein also say that a woman marries a man hoping he will?” 

Ivan shrugged, “Meh, the stiffest tree is easily cracked, while the bamboo or willow survives by bending in the wind.” That was it exactly. Dean got that. 

At Stephen’s blank expression on the quote, Dean grinned and slapped him on the shoulder. “Come on, college guy . . . Bruce Lee.” Then he turned to start scaling the wall that was as shittily constructed as he thought it looked the last time he was here. _Why the hell are we standing around talking about women when we’re supposed to be sabotaging choppers?_

Dropping down the other side, Dean moved to a blind spot in the camera system. It was dark enough there to conceal him from the guards on the wall too. This far away from bright lights of The Strip, there were lots of shadows. When he was ready for the other 3, he pulled out his pistol crossbow and got ready . . . _Cas is not Batman. I am._

A minute later, they had the next window, so he shot the arrow just barely over the wall to make sure he didn’t shoot it high enough for it to be picked up by the motion sensors outside the wall . . . _Nothing._ The motion sensors must be directed out at least 10-20 feet from the wall. Sam must figure nothing could get past them and the harpies, and if something could get past the harpies, then the demons on the wall were enough to stop anything from getting inside the camp. Sam was wrong. Stephen was next. The last one over was Ivan, and that guy was in full military mode now. Ivan was Dean’s first choice for this mission. He figured the guy knew how to dismantle a chopper, so it wouldn’t be noticed until it went to take off.

They moved stealthily along the wall, pausing here and there to wait for a camera to scan an area or for a demon to walk past, until they got to a place where they could start heading in towards The Strip. Dean and the other three were covered in a werewolf masking ash that Cas and Gwen had gotten the recipe for in the Campbell family library a couple of weeks ago. It was supposed to work like the vamp stuff did, and so far it seemed to be working. 

It took them about an hour to make to the choppers. Sam hadn’t walled off the whole city . . . just the good parts . . . Sin City was still an apt name for it. It was a military state with barbed wire fences that Dean’s team had to cut their way through to go from zone to zone. Demons were allowed free reign of the hotels while whoever or whatever was living in the tents and shacks in piss poor conditions outside the glitz and glamour might as well have been in some 3rd world country. It was hard to tell how many demons were actually here, but they were patrolling the streets in large numbers and making their presence known. Dean suspected more than 50,000 demons were here now. They were everywhere. _Let’s see how many demons are left after these choppers go down and the convoys don’t come back._

The easiest thing to do was put water in the fuel tanks, so they went with bottles of holy water for that. It’s what the rest of them were doing while Ivan loosened a few of the bolts in the blades to make sure the choppers wouldn’t go far if the holy water didn’t work. _What if the kids get put in these choppers?_ Dean tried not to think about it. There were only 8 choppers, so maybe they were just the eyes in the sky for the convoys. 

Dean’s team was nearly done when he heard a scuffle on the other side of a chopper a couple down from where he was, so he silently made his way around in time to see Stephen take a hard hit from a demon that’d been doing a crappy job of guarding the choppers until then. Dean quickly pulled his iron knife, stealthily grabbed the demon from behind while its focus was on kicking Stephen and sunk the blade into the demon’s left shoulder, stopping its movement instantly. 

As soon as Dean finished the exorcism, Stephen whispered, “How the hell did you do that?” 

Dean withdrew the blade and tried to help the former meat suit stop the bleeding as he settled him on the ground. “Figured if drawing a devil’s trap on bullets works, scratching one on a blade should too . . . used an iron blade, so they can’t just grab it without wanting to let go before the devil’s trap is in . . . can’t kill any on this mission . . . or they’ll know we were here.” 

Stephen mulled it over and looked down at his own knife before quickly taking out another blade, so he could use it to etch a devil’s trap into it. Stephen glanced at the guy Dean was helping before he went back to working on his knife and asked, “What are we gonna do with him?” 

There was no way this guy would be able to move the way they needed him to move to climb back over the wall when getting out was going to be harder than it had been to get in. “I think we found our demon fall guy, but this guy’s gotta stay here, and he’s gotta stay hidden.” Dean looked at the man and said, “I’m gonna fix this up for you. Then I’m gonna drop you off where the humans are being kept.” As the man began to shake his head, Dean said, “We’ll make sure you get there safe . . . but we can’t take you with us tonight . . . we need to get back out, so we can come back and get everybody out of here at once, but it won’t be tonight . . . may not be for a few weeks or a month or two, but it’ll happen . . . can’t do that if we take you with us . . . you won’t make it over the wall, and you’ll get caught again.” 

The guy started to beg Dean to take him with him, and he was getting a little loud. “Look, I think we both know the only humans left in this camp that aren’t being used as meat suits are kids. Right now . . . those kids have nobody. You’ll be the first adult without a demon they’ve seen in months. They’ve been looking after themselves, so expect them to be tougher than you . . . but they’re still just kids. They need an adult on the inside to help them . . . someone they can trust . . . someone the demons won’t know is here if you stay hidden, cuz it’ll just look like that demon that had you deserted after trashing the choppers. I’ve got some werewolf repellant that will help hide your scent. If you keep it on, they won’t find you again . . . I swear I’ll be back, and I’ll get the rest of you out of here.” 

Dean had gotten so used to dealing with people that were hardened by having to survive this camp, the trading posts, or the harsh environment up North that he’d nearly forgotten what dealing with someone normal was like. This man was traumatized, but he wouldn’t remember most of what’d happened to him since he’d been possessed. He might as well have been living it up in his banking job last week . . . he still had his suit on. This guy wasn’t ready for this, but he’d have to learn fast.

Dean finished stitching the guy’s shoulder and was having the guy sprinkle himself with the werewolf repellant when Stephen stood up. “Think we can trust him not to inform on us?” 

Dean flicked his eyes at the guy and said more to him than Stephen, “Depends on whether or not he wants to get out of here. If he tells anyone he saw us . . . best that’ll happen to him is he’ll be possessed again . . . If he keeps quiet and stays hidden, then he knows we’ll be back and can get him out if we got in here once . . . course we’ll find out if he says anything, and if he does and puts the kids here or anyone on my team at risk, then I’m comin’ for him the next time we’re here.” The guy nodded that he got the threat but still looked jittery. The kids here would whip him into shape. 

The closer they got to where the nearest humans were being kept, the harder Dean was finding it to think about leaving these kids behind . . . it was so bad. It was like a homeless camp with random barrells of trash set ablaze, so they could have some light outside the tents and shacks. They had nothing. There was an open cesspit they had to live around and must get water out of somehow or maybe used for something else, because it reeked. They’d gone out of their way to make sure the kids lived in filth and squalor.

Dean knew were three more human zones around the city just like this one, and there were plenty of places in doors they could have put these kids. They just hadn’t done it. Instead, the demons got the hotels and casinos, and the kids got this. _You’ve got a lot to answer for Sam._ Either Sam knew about it and didn’t care this is the way the demons were treating the humans, or he chose to dehumanize them this way, so it was easier for him to sell them off to monsters . . . or Sam liked seeing them like this while he lived in his penthouse suite in the Luxor . . . reminded Dean way too much of Lucifer in that penthouse in Detroit. 

Dean led his team to one of the shacks in the back. It was one of the only ones brave enough to have a fire going inside. He left the rest outside to guard the shack while he in alone to talk to whoever was in charge. It was a teenage girl about 14 years old. As soon as he walked through the door, she put the smaller kids in the corner and stood in front of them. 

If she thought he was possessed, she did a good job of hiding fear. She mostly just seemed pissed off, and had a shiv she was trying conceal. These kids had no idea how to really protect themselves from demons, and they knew that, but they had nothing else to make them feel safe except homemade weapons like that. Dean put his hands up and said, “Not a demon or being possessed by one . . . My friends and me just broke into this camp –“ 

She glared at him while she cut him off. “Do whatever the fuck you’re here to do, and get the fuck out.” 

_This would be so much easier if she knew about holy water._ Dean pointed his thumb over his shoulder towards the door and said, “Uh, yeah . . . so, I should just drop off the guy I exorcised and go?” 

She looked confused for a fraction of a second. “Like The Exorcist . . . pea soup and all the rest? That’s a real thing?” 

Dean exhaled a brief laugh before he said, “Yeah, well, there’s no pea soup or spinning heads . . . more like a black cloud of smoke shoots out of their mouths and goes back to Hell, but yeah. Anyway, we’re here doing recon of the city, and we can’t bring Ryan with us. He got hurt. There’s no way he could get over the wall, and if we wanna come back and get all you kids outta here, we -” 

She cut him off again. “That’s impossible.” 

“I don’t know. Broke in easy enough.” 

“What do you want? There’s gotta be a catch.” 

There actually was. “The catch is, the last he knew, he was a banker. He has no idea what it takes to survive in the world now. Doesn’t know when to be quiet or how to move around without being noticed. He needs someone to show him the ropes . . . I’ve got this stuff you can have him put on that’ll mask his scent from werewolves and weredemons if they’re looking for him.” Dean tossed her a jar of the stuff they’d brought. She examined it while he added, “And there’s something else.” She glanced at him with a look that said, ‘here we go,’ and Dean said, “I know you’ve got ways of getting into the other human camps. I need you to spread the word. Keep it away from the demons, monsters and Ryan . . . We’ll be waiting on the outside to pick up those trucks they take you guys out of here in . . . but we won’t hit them until they get to the places they’re going.” 

“You know where they’re going?” Dean asked her if she wanted the truth because it wasn’t pretty. “I didn’t think it would be, but I have to know . . . the not knowing is worse.” 

“All right. The trucks are going to trading posts, so the kids can be traded as food to monsters. We don’t know where the trading posts are, so we have to follow the trucks to find them. When we get there, we kill all the monsters, burn the trading posts to the ground, and take the kids somewhere safe . . . We’ve only had a chance to do it once . . . couple months back. That’s why they stopped sending kids out for a few weeks.” She handled it . . . almost the way he thought Beth would . . . didn’t show much emotion. She probably figured that everyone she’d lost from here was already dead. He was just confirming it for her. 

_Now for the hard part._ He’d learned his lesson after what happened with Adrien. Dean took a couple steps back and knelt down on one knee, so he was shorter than her height and hopefully, less intimidating. “Don’t freak out.” He waited until she nodded and then said, “I’m Dean Winchester.” That’s when she finally pulled her shiv on him. He sighed and said, “I know you thought I was all right until I said that. I know what they’ve told you about me, but I’m here to help, and –“ 

“So, you can take the kids from here and use them to do the same thing in your war!” _My war?_

“No, the war this place is getting ready for isn’t with me and Beth. It’s with the King of Hell . . . and an archangel named Raphael . . . It’s me and Beth’s job to care about the humans that are left and try to save as many as we can, or nobody is going to survive. The demons here want you scared of us, because we’re the only ones that can help you, and they knew when we found out about this place, we’d be coming for you and them.” She didn’t look like she was going to go on the attack, so Dean said, “You know Jenna or Tyrone? Cuz -“ 

He was going to say they were about the same age, but she interrupted him again. “Did . . . I did know them. They were sent away before the trucks stopped going out.” 

_Smart kid._ “I know. We were in Michigan and found them at a trading post for vampires. You still know them.” She said she’d need some kind of proof he hadn’t just killed Tyrone or Jenna. Proof? Not really sure how to prove something like that. “Uh, they take care of Claudia, Stevie, and Joel, like they did before they left here, and another little girl named Sarah. We picked her up at the same place we found them, but she’d been with the vamps for a couple of weeks before we got there.” As soon as he mentioned Sarah, he got a flicker of recognition from the girl, so he said, “Sarah’s about 6, brownish blonde hair . . . well it is now. Her head was shaved when we found her, like the kids behind you. She said lice were a problem until the teens around here started shaving the little kids heads . . . she has hazel eyes . . . she one of yours?” 

The girl gave him a curt nod and slowly lowered the shiv, so Dean said, “She’s been through a lot . . . When I found her she was with one of Jenna’s kids that got sent out on the same truck. His name was Tommy . . . he . . . he didn’t make it . . . but before that . . . the whole time they were with those vampires, Sarah took care of him and –“ Dean took a deep breath while he thought of what was left of the other child he’d seen. “I know Peter was one of yours too. He was gone before I got there, but she took care of him as long as she could . . . She’s not as fast as some of the kids her age when it comes to running or taking a gun apart, but she’s strong where it counts. She’s smart, and she uses her head when she’s sparring, so she’s good at that, and she’s good at school. She loves reading and when I’m home she usually gets me to play Battleship or Operation with her. Can’t really tell her, ‘No,’ even though I’m busy, and then I have to play whatever games other kids want to play after that, so it takes up the rest of the night . . . think they send her in first, because they know she’ll get her way . . . Beth picked up a dog when we were out a couple of weeks ago. Sarah and her friend Jasmine come to see him at least 3 times a day, and she keeps trying to change his name to Jules.” 

The girl blinked back a couple of tears and said, “Sometimes the little kids around here have pets, like rats or lizards . . . She had a mouse one time, and she named it Jules for me . . . My name’s Julie . . . this dog is yours and Beth’s?” Dean nodded, so Julie said, “If it goes missing, don’t be surprised if she’s got it hidden in her tent. She loves animals. We used to talk about them a lot when she had a hard time sleeping at night.“ 

_Might as well sell her on the camp now, so she has something to look forward to until I can get her outta here._ “We built cabins for everyone . . . We keep all the kids from here together with the families they made here. They all have bunk beds. Nobody sleeps on the floor or in a tent. So, if he goes missing, I’ll check her cabin.”

Julie smiled briefly. “Can’t remember the last time I slept in a bed . . . I haven’t seen a real dog in forever either. What’s yours look like? You guys have any more animals there?” 

_Never really thought about it, but maybe we should look into getting these kids more pets . . . normal pets. Probably start bringing home raccoons or rats if we don’t._ “I don’t know much about dogs, but Beth says he’s a border collie. He’s mostly black and has some white patches on his chest. Sheds everywhere. There’s another dog named Jasper . . . He’s a german shepherd. We have 2 farms . . . one of the farms has cows and sheep, and they just had a bunch of lambs . . . the other farm has goats, chickens, and pigs. We just started up a class for kids that want to be farmers. They go to the farms for an hour or two a couple of times a week.” 

Julie shook her head. “You mean we really have to go to school again?” 

Finally, he found one that didn’t seem to like the idea of school. Dean grinned before he said, “Yeah, I don’t think it’s all bad though. Check this out.” He pulled out the bat signal from his weapons bag and put the magnifying glass in the way Beth did before he handed it over to Julie and told her to shine it against the wall. 

“I don’t get it.” Julie said when she was done with it. 

Dean took it back from her while animatedly saying, “What are you talking about? It’s the bat signal,” and Julie laughed. 

“I know! It’s a little small isn’t it? “ 

Dean flicked the light off and put it back in his bag while he grumbled, “It’s a hand held bat signal. Couldn’t exactly bring the real deal in here.” 

Julie smiled and asked if that meant that Beth Foley was Batgirl. _Beth, Batgirl? No._ “No, she’s more like Cat Woman . . . She gave it to me tonight. They made it in one of her physics classes. Have to let my angel friend, Cas, know when we’re ready to get out of here somehow . . . but I’m more like Batman than he his . . . see I think – “

He stopped at the look Julie gave him, and then she laughed at him. “I thought Cat Woman was a villain?” 

_Not supposed to make her think Beth’s a villain._ “Nah, maybe Cat Woman used to be, but she’s more like an antihero now.” 

Julie watched him and said, “What’s an antihero?” 

This was just about the last thing he thought he’d be doing in Vegas. “Uh, you know how Superman is boring . . . He’s always perfect and never kills the bad guy? That’s a hero. An antihero isn’t perfect, like Catwoman steals, but she helps do the right thing, and a lot of antiheroes kill the bad guy.” 

Julie cocked her head to the side. “Like you?” 

Dean ducked his head and said, “I’m not a hero.” 

Julie smiled before she said, “You’re an antihero.” 

Dean shook his head. “No, I’m not anything . . . just trying to save as many people as I can. I’ve been killing monsters and demons my whole life. It’s the only thing I know how to do.” 

Julie looked a little apprehensive before she said, “So, did Beth Foley used to be a villain, like Catwoman?” 

Dean laughed before he looked at her and saw she was serious. “No, the angels had her locked up for 29 years . . . I met her when she got out a couple of years ago. She doesn’t have a problem killing monsters, but she’s more about breaking in and out of places than she is killing.” 

Julie seemed confused about something. “She must’ve done something bad. What did she do to be locked up by angels?” 

“She was born. That’s the day they took her, and they kept her in a prison cell . . . she had to raise herself.” 

Julie glanced at the kids behind her before she said, “They made a baby take care of itself? How did she live?” 

Dean thought about how best to answer that. The truth? Kids seemed to do better with believing the truth than adults did. “They took her soul out of her body, so she didn’t need to eat or sleep.” It looked like Julie trusted him anyway, because she was quick fire with the questions now. 

“So, they killed her?” 

Dean shook his head. “No, they took all the parts in our soul that make us bad and put them back in her body, so as her body and that part of her soul got older, she did too. When her body died down here, she found a way to get out of Heaven and got it back.” 

“Did they hurt her the way the demons here do?” 

She seemed pretty focused on Beth, so he asked why she was asking so many questions about her, and Julie shrugged. “I’m a girl. She’s a girl. If I know she lived through something like this, I know I can, and then I can do what she does.” _So, this is like a girl power kind of thing?_

“Uh, yeah . . . they were worse to her. You can do a lot worse things to a soul than you can to a body that can die.” 

Julie quickly asked, “Is she as good as they say she is?” 

Dean laughed, because it looked like Beth was getting a super fan. “Honestly, whatever you’ve heard . . . she’s better. Nobody in this camp has any idea how good she really is. Think I’m the only one that does.” Julie had the kids go sit on the flattened refrigerator box on the ground where they slept, while she handed him a milk crate and grabbed one for herself, so they could sit while they talked. 

“I heard she killed an angel. I don’t even know what an angel blade is, but I want one.” Dean grinned. He liked this girl. 

“Angel blades are what angels use to fight each other, but they’re good for killing demons and some monsters too . . . We both have one. Hers is better. It was made for her, but I have a demon-killing knife, and she doesn’t. And yeah, she did kill an angel . . . same day I killed Lucifer.” 

Julie sat back and slowly released a breath she’d been holding. “So, you killing Lucifer is true?” 

Dean nodded and said, “Yeah, I used a sniper rifle with bullets made from an archangel blade.” 

Julie hesitated before asking her next question. “That’s not what started the virus, is it?” 

“No, the guy running this place let the virus loose without me knowing about it, and it hit St. Louis the day after Lucifer died. There was no way to stop it by the time I found out.” 

Julie was quiet before she finally asked, “Is the guy running this place really your brother?” 

Dean ducked his head again. “Yeah, Sam’s my little brother . . . He was my responsibility, so everything he’s done is on me . . . I’m sorry doesn’t even begin to –“ 

“So it’s your fault my Dad got the virus from his boss, and my Mom was shot by a guy who wanted our car when we were leaving Cleveland? It’s your fault Sadie and Dom’s parents were sent to the monster factory here? It’s your fault Mark’s Dad killed his Mom and was in jail when –“ 

“The virus getting out . . . this place being built . . . everything that’s happened since . . . yeah, I took my eye off the ball with Sam and –“ 

“That’s crazy. If Sadie hits Mark, I’m not going to blame Dom because he’s Sadie’s big brother. I’m going to blame Sadie.” 

Dean glanced at the three kids she was talking about and sighed. “Yeah, well . . . that’s not the way it was when we were growing up . . . anything happened to Sam, and it was my ass . . . can’t just shut it off.” 

Julie watched her shiv while she twirled it through her fingers and said, “So what are you going to do when you see him again?” 

_That’s the million-dollar question._ “I don’t know. I know what he is now, but I had two chances to put him down when he left here a couple of months ago, and I didn’t take ‘em. Right now my plan is to get all of you out of here and dismantle his empire. After that . . . I need to see if I can save him.” 

Julie looked back up at him and asked, “What about Beth?” 

Dean hung his head and breathed out a sad laugh before he said, “I don’t know what she’s gonna do. She has a plan, but she hasn’t filled me in on what it is . . . I think she’s gonna take it out of my hands and make the call for me, but I’m not ready to let her do that yet.” 

Julie took a long slow breath before she said, “If she takes it out of your hands before you’re ready, what will you do to her?” 

He was sincere when he answered, “I wouldn’t do anything to her. I’d never hurt Beth.” 

Julie was quiet for half a minute before she said, “You like her a lot, huh?” 

Dean bowed his head and said, “She’s my best friend, so yeah.” 

Julie smiled before teasing him. “I think you like her more than that.” 

Dean rolled his eyes and retorted, “Yeah, well I think you’re more annoying than I thought.” 

It made her laugh. “You’re a worse liar than I thought you’d be.” 

Dean replied sarcastically, “You mean for a guy who killed everyone left in Little Rock, just to win a bet with Beth, or who cuts kids heads off, so I can play soccer, or my personal favorite, eats kids for breakfast with a stack of pancakes on the side?” 

Julie smiled and said, “Something like that. So . . . she’s really here?” Dean nodded, and Julie responded with, “Can you prove it? Nothing against the other people you brought with you, but I’d feel better knowing she’s here too. You may not want to kill your brother, but I’m pretty sure he wants to kill you, and I think she’s the only one that could stop him from doing that if he finds you.” 

_That’s probably true._ “Can’t prove it . . . you’ll just have to take my word for it. Don’t know what she’s doing. She likes to do her own thing. If something unexpected happens tonight or tomorrow . . . That’s probably her. All my stuff is going down the next time those delivery trucks get sent out.” 

Julie took a deep breath and asked, “What can I do to help . . . other than tell the other kids what you told me to say?” Dean asked her about the convoys. They started back up 2 weeks ago. She said that they used to take twice as many kids on the truck days as they had been the last couple of weeks, but then they were going out twice as many times, so 200 kids a week were still being sent out. That meant they’d lost 400 kids in the last two weeks. The choppers followed the trucks, and she thought they were still sending out the same number of trucks. Probably meant there were decoy trucks mixed in with the others.

Before he left, Dean grabbed his iron knife and flipped it around so the handle was facing Julie. He nudged it towards her, so she’d take it before he said, “The blade’s made of iron. Iron hurts demons, but it won’t kill ‘em. The symbol etched in it is a devil’s trap. Let’s say you’re running from a demon or expecting one to walk in the door, and you draw a big one of those on the ceiling or floor . . . doesn’t matter how powerful they are, if they step into it, they won’t get back out unless it’s broken, and they can’t break it themselves. If you put it on a bullet or blade like this and shoot or stab ‘em, they can’t move either. Your shiv won’t do anything to‘em . . . won’t do anything to the werewolves, shifters or skinwalkers running around here either . . . you see one of those, and the best thing you can do is put that werewolf masking stuff on, run, and hide . . . you got something to write with?” 

Julie tore off a piece of cardboard from the bed, grabbed a tiny piece of a crayon that was taped under the plastic lawn table, and handed them to him, so he wrote down an exorcism and said, “If a demon’s trapped and you say this, it’ll send them straight to Hell unless they have a binding sigil, like this on them.” He paused while he drew the binding sigil. “That’ll keep ‘em in the body they’re possessing, but they’ll stay trapped in a devil’s trap even if they’re wearing it . . . and if you draw this on you with a pen or something, it’ll keep demons from being able to find you or hear what you’re thinking as long as you’re not possessed.” 

Dean wrote out the Enochian phrase Cas put on the back of Beth’s old watch and handed Julie the crayon and cardboard back while looking her in the eye to add, “Except for the last thing I wrote here, I don’t want you to using this stuff unless your life is in danger . . . if they pull up in those trucks wanting to take one of your kids, you let them go, and I’ll get them on the other side. If they find you with that, they’ll know I was here and what I’m planning. You got it?” 

She nodded before she looked at the cardboard again and went to hand him his knife back. “Same goes for the knife. It’s yours now. Take good care of it. Keep it sharp, and keep it hidden. I’ll show you how to use it when I get you out of here.” 

She looked at the knife again and ran her thumb lightly along the edge, before she said, “Okay, but I’m still gonna want one of those angel blades some day,” before she glanced up at him with a smile. 

“You find one, and it’s yours . . . not many down here, so good luck with that . . . keep an eye on Ryan. Keep him safe, and make sure he doesn’t run to the nearest demon . . . He might get desperate and try to cop a deal, because desperate people do stupid things.” 

Julie looked at the doorway and said, “After he goes to sleep, I’ll go set up a meeting with the other camps. We’ll have the meeting tomorrow night. I’ll leave him here for that too and have my kids watch him, but other than that I’ll keep him with me at all times.” 

That was good enough for him. Dean paused at the door and turned back to say, “Tell the kids they all need to watch the choppers when they take off . . . cause they’re gonna crash and burn, but I don’t know where they’ll land.” 

Julie nodded and looked back at her new knife. “Can’t wait . . . be the best birthday present I’ve had . . . next to this one. My birthday was a couple of months ago, but I’m counting this knife as a present too, so thanks.”

_What else can we blow up?_ Dean looked at the stuff in his bag. He had one more explosive. They’d set charges on the colosseum where the skinwalker/werewolf death matches went down and on what could only be described as a Hollywood look-alike whorehouse for demons in the shifter camp. Dean glanced at the Luxor. Security was too high. There was no way to get to it with the time they had left, but they were trying to hit places that only demons had access to tonight, and the Luxor would be perfect. No . . . he couldn’t risk the four of them being caught. There was too much riding on them making it out tonight . . . the Mandalay? It was close. Almost too close . . . security was tight, but not as tight. It was doable if he went in on his own. 

Dean glanced at the other three men and looked at the Mandalay again to let them know what he was thinking. “Go for it . . . this place sucks now. Just wish we brought enough to blow the whole strip,” Stephen said sounding as close to pissed off as Dean had heard him be. 

“I’m leveling this place when this is over. I’ll make sure you’re on the demolition team . . . might as well have fun in this city one last time.” Stephen asked if that meant they were sending Vegas off with a bang, and Dean grinned. “Hey, maybe we can grab a couple of slot machines, a roulette table, and . . . a blackjack table. We’ll bring ‘em back to the camp. No rules on gambling in other states anymore.” 

Stephen waited to see if Dean was being serious, and then grinned when he saw he was. “You’re on . . . maybe not from here . . . don’t want anything those demons have touched. We could stop in Reno on the way back.” 

Dean got up from his crouch and said, “Work it out with Yuri . . . maybe the two of you could run the camp bar . . . think it’s time we had one of those,” before he headed off in the direction of the casino he wanted. The explosives he had wouldn’t blow up the whole building, but it’d get the point across.

By the time Dean got back to his team, it was nearly dawn, and they had to book it back to where they’d climbed over the wall. He got Ivan and Yuri over the wall all right, but after that the first rays of sunlight started shooting out over the horizon, and he was thinking maybe he and Stephen should find somewhere to lay low for the day. He could always pray to Cas and have him take Ivan and Yuri. He didn’t really like praying in case the other angels were tuned into Cas’s frequency, but it worked. 

Dean’s attention snapped to the Northwest when they heard an explosion coming from that end of the camp. Dean glanced up at the demons on the wall, and their attention was on a second explosion . . . Dean pushed Stephen towards the wall when a couple of guards took off towards the Northwest. The two left at the guard tower would have a decision to make soon. Would they stay here and watch the tower or leave to do their patrols in T-minus 20 seconds . . . 10 . . . 5, 4, 3, 2 . . . and now . . . he nudged Stephen towards the rope and the two of them scaled up it in record time. 

As soon as Dean landed on the other side, he brought the rope down with him and flicked is hand held spotlight on and off twice. The next thing Dean knew, he and the other three were back at the snow ploughs. _Is Beth out, or am I gonna have to go back in and get her?_ Dean had no idea where she was because she’d been jamming his Beth tracker all night. All he knew was that she was responsible for the explosions that were still going off along the West wall of the city. 

Dean asked Cas if he knew where Beth was. _Nope . . . Maybe she left a hint on what she was doing in the snow plough._ He took off at a run towards their truck, but was stopped short when he saw her in there sleeping . . . it was only after he took a closer look that he saw blood marking the side of her head and realized she’d been knocked out. _What the hell? How’d she pull that off without knocking me out, and how’d she end up back here if Cas didn’t bring her?_ He’d find out when he got her to wake up, and then they needed to talk about this thing that she was doing with their connection.


	53. Photo Journal

_Ugh, if he wants to feel everything I feel and is determined to make my headache worse with his ranting, he can have it._ I stopped blocking without giving him fair warning, and he stopped mid-sentence to hiss at the burden he now carried before giving me a look that said that wasn’t cool. It wasn’t, so I went back to blocking it. “I didn’t know it would happen, but I’m glad it did . . . would you have rather been knocked out inside those walls?” 

He immediately said, “That’s not the point, Beth, and you know it.” 

“I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you about it first, but I didn’t know jamming your tracker for me would block you from getting hurt when I do . . . I was just trying to keep you from being distracted by where I was while you were in there . . . I think this is a good thing to find out though. If you want to be able to help me if I ever get taken again, then neither of us can afford for what happens to me to happen to you. What if the torture is all consuming the way it was the last time Sam tried to get information out of me? You wouldn’t be going anywhere to help me with anything, because you’d go through it the same as I would. Then to get you moving again, Cas will have to heal you afterwards, which just gives someone, like Sam, a way to keep hurting me when he’d otherwise have to stop if he wants me alive long enough to give him the answers. And what happens if Cas is kept out with angel wards the way he is here? He’d only be able to get you as far as those. Then you’d be on your own, and we’re back to you not being able to move when you get hurt the way I do.” 

He sighed and asked, “How am I suppose to find you if you’re jamming my Beth tracker? And how are you even doing that anyway?” He had a point on the being able to find me. It’s the only way he was able to save me from Crowley. 

It was a relatively new thing for me too, so I’d have to think about it. “It’s not the same thing as when I block you from knowing what I’m thinking. That feels different. That feels more like it does with Cas, so it’s almost like you were born to know what I think, but this connection thing we have is something that was given to us from an outside source, so I focus on pulling it away from you the way I did Famine . . . I know it makes me a hypocrite to use my part of the connection to keep you from being able to use yours -“ 

“I want you to promise that you won’t do it anymore . . . unless you’re taken and something doesn’t heal on you. Then you’ll know Cas isn’t with me for whatever reason. I will find you another way, but you’re right. I can’t help you if I’m laid out too.” 

“All right. I promise . . . but don’t get mad at me if Raphael catches me some time. I won’t have a say on it then.” 

Dean’s shoulders slumped a little before he said, “Yeah, that’s crossed my mind a few times . . . so, me knowing what you’re thinking isn’t the same thing?” I shook my head and he said, “Maybe we could use that. Maybe I don’t need to find you using my Beth tracker if you can tell me where you are. You could work on being louder, or I could work on listening better from further away?” _Couldn’t hurt to try._

He relaxed after I thought that and said me having to block him from my headache was probably making it worse, so he’d take it for me, and I could explain to him why I smelled like hellhounds. If he wanted to do that for me, then I’d let him . . . I have no idea what I did to be so lucky. He was more than amazing. I asked him if he was ready this time, and instantly felt fine the second I stopped blocking it. Then I grabbed the camera and pushed over, so I could lean against him while I powered it up. “I’ll do better than tell you. I’ll show you what I did tonight.” I’d made a photo journal of my adventures.

When Dean and the others left, Cas just held onto the harpies long enough for the four-man team to make it inside the walls. Nobody would think anything of the harpies being gone for 10 minutes. After Cas was done doing that, he was supposed to stay by the trucks and keep an eye out for Dean’s Bat Signal. I’d figured since everyone else got to play Caped Crusader tonight, I might as well play Cat Woman, so while he’d been busy with the harpies, I’d been busy throwing on black jeans, a black long-sleeved t-shirt and a black skull cap to keep my hair out of my face before I added a dash of some of that werewolf scent masking stuff we made and put my hellhound glasses on. 

When Cas came back looking worse for wear a few minutes after I was done getting dressed, I made sure he was okay and then took a picture of him before I had him send me to the entrance of the western most flood tunnel out of the city. “Let me guess. This one’s you showing me I was wrong about saying you should stay with Cas earlier?” I smiled, because that’s exactly why I took that picture, so he said, “They all gonna be like this or . . . “ 

“It’s not a ‘Dean Is Wrong, Journal.’ I wanted to show you what I get up to when you’re not around.” He gave me a look that said he didn’t quite buy that, but he wanted to see where I was going with it.

When I got to the tunnels, there were two entrances side-by-side with a divider between them that tapered away from the tunnels and disappeared about 20 feet into a big channel that the two tunnels fed into. I hid a good distance away from them to get a good view of both and snapped a photo in thermal, so Dean could see there were only two hellhounds. One was standing guard at the entrance of the tunnel on the left, and one was standing guard at the entrance of the tunnel to the right. I took another picture in night vision next, so he could see that the humanoid form standing just inside the entrance of the tunnel on the right was a weredemon. 

I used the camera to look down the channel going away from the tunnels to see if there was anything else that way and didn’t see anything and snapped a picture to show him that. Then I put the camera back in its case that was slung over my neck and shoulder, got my angel blade out and lured the hellhound on the left away from its entrance. After killing hundreds of them by that point, killing it without the other two noticing was painless for it and easy for me. The only thing I had to worry about was killing it far enough away that they wouldn’t hear it. When I got back to the tunnels, I stuck my hand with the camera down over the ledge of the now unguarded tunnel on the left, so I could get a couple of pictures, one in thermal and one in night vision. I wanted to make sure I wasn’t going to be ambushed if I went down there. Both pictures showed that the tunnel was clear. 

I climbed down into the channel and used the divider for cover. When my feet hit the ground, I paused and waited to see if the hellhound and weredemon on the other side of the divider had heard me. They had to have heard something, but maybe they thought it was the other hellhound coming back. They weren’t very good guards. This seemed like boring grunt work, and demons aren’t exactly reliable. They probably thought they were far enough from Sam’s wrath that if there was a problem, and they missed it, they could get away before Sam found out. He was human after all. He couldn’t teleport . . . unless he could with how much demon blood he had in him now, but I doubted it. 

When I was ready, I got into a better position to blindside the hellhound, ran towards it from the side, slid like I was running into home base feet first along the dusty cement, kicked it’s head up to give me a better shot at it’s chest, and stabbed it in the heart. I was up on my feet and ready to deal with the weredemon before the hellhound had even fallen to the ground. 

The weredemon was tricky . . . I tried an exorcism, while it circled me, but it didn’t work, and that’s when I saw the binding sigil on it’s arm . . . no guns on this mission . . . what to do? It threw a punch. I dropped to my knees, so I could stab my spare silver knife through its calf, and it froze . . . Dean’s idea for having a devil’s trap on the iron blade worked. 

I immediately felt a little better about him being in the belly of the beast now that I knew he had something that worked. When I stood back up, I cut the binding sigil on its arm with my lucky silver knife and tried the exorcism again. I could’ve just killed it, but I wanted to try something. Should’ve checked that the damn werewolf had a collar first. It was a massive mistake on my part, because now I was stuck with a pissed off werewolf on my hands.

It was fast and strong, which is to be expected, but I what I hadn’t expected was the military fighting. It was wearing an Army uniform, but I hadn’t thought much of it before the exorcism. Mostly, I’d thought that Sam was having the demons standing guard at the camp wear soldier uniforms. It would appear not. The ones that were the sentries on the wall must also have been previously employed in the armed forces. Smart of Sam to recruit monsters that already knew how to fight, and a pain in the ass for me. 

This is where training with Cas came in handy as far as speed was concerned . . . well that and the fact this wolf had a pretty serious leg wound that slowed it down. Eventually, something fell out of his pocket. It was a metal collar. He had me by the throat against the wall, so I kicked the handle of the knife sticking out of its leg as hard as I could, and it let me go and howled. I didn’t have time to worry about how many others heard the howl, while I scrambled to grab the collar. 

He was on me again a couple of seconds later, and I had to use all the strength in my right forearm under it’s throat to keep it from biting me, while I used my left hand to throw the collar around its neck. I quickly jammed my left thumb in its eye, used the time that bought me to snap the collar shut, and exhaled a few sharp breaths when he went back to being normal. 

Being human again had made him go through a range of expressions as he processed going from being possessed to being a werewolf and now being a man again. A few seconds later, he hissed in pain and got off of me. I guess he felt the knife in his leg a lot better when he wasn’t wolfed out. 

I pulled the knife out for him and tried to give him the best first aid treatment that I could given the circumstances. He didn’t seem all that much older than me, short brown hair, brown eyes, and his crew cut had grown out some but it’d been maintained fairly well. I wondered if that was a demon choice or something Sam expected them to do. Maybe Sam was the only one that wanted to have long hair. Who knows? 

I didn’t tell Dean everything that happened with the werewolf. All I did was show him pictures of the dead hellhound and a pacified werewolf sitting up against the wall. When he saw them, he rolled his eyes. “So now you’re using pictures to show me it worked out all right in the end? Any chance I’ll hear how that happened?” _Not if I have anything to say about it._

I flipped it to the next picture, and he put his hand over the camera. “Any cramping or –“ 

I stopped him with a shake of my head. 

“I think Cas should check you over.” 

I looked him in the eye and said, “I’m okay, Dean. Believe it or not, I can block.” 

He sighed and responded, “It’s not just that. How’d you get in the tunnel? You had climb down there, right? If you’re not supposed to be picking up heavy stuff and had Cas put you in the back of the truck, because you’re not supposed to be climbing things . . . Have him check you out . . . for me.” 

I’d do it for him even though I thought the baby and me were both fine. “Okay, I’ll be right back.” I hopped out of the truck from my side and went to find Cas. Cas said everything was fine with the baby, and then I had him heal my head for me, so Dean didn’t have to feel it. 

When I came back, Dean looked like he had a lot on his mind, and he looked like he’d been thinking the worst, so I put him out of his misery pretty fast. “Cas says everything’s okay . . . I’m sorry for making you worry.” 

He glanced at me and said, “This is another loophole in our connection, isn’t it? If you go all the way to term, and something happens to you when you’re having it . . . It won’t happen to me, the same as whatever happens to you in limbo doesn’t happen to me, right?” I had no idea he was worried about that. 

“How long have you been thinking that?” 

He looked down and exhaled a deep breath. “I don’t know . . . I was thinking that if something had been wrong just now . . . I wouldn’t have known it if Cas said I don’t have to feel when you have it since I don’t have . . . the same parts or whatever. It’s another loophole.” 

“Cas is with us most of the time, and he won’t let anything happen, and even if he’s not there for some reason, the odds of something like that happening are pretty slim.” 

He didn’t look like that really put his mind at ease all that much, but he was done talking about it and looked at the camera in his hands before said, “This the werewolf?” 

I settled in next to him again. “That’s Tom . . . we’re going to be seeing a lot of him.” 

Dean gave me a side-glance because of where he thought this was going, and I decided to explain that he was right, but try and sell it to him, while I did. “Sam uses collars to keep them from transforming just like that shifter said he did. It builds up their aggression and makes it so they’ll transform straight away when they take the collars off, even if it’s in the middle of the day or nowhere near a full moon. The downside for Sam is that the collars block them from their alpha. The alpha controls them and is the one who brought all the werewolves from North and South America here.” 

Dean looked towards the city and said, “Guessing it’s the same with the skinwalkers and the shapeshifters if their alphas are here too.” 

_Yeah, every werewolf, shapeshifter, and skinwalker in the western hemisphere is in there. If Sam found more breeds from that tablet and used the tablet to bring their alphas here, there might be more shifter monsters in there too._

Dean shook his head, before he glanced at me. “If every one of those monsters on this side of the planet are in there, we could put them all down for good.” 

Not the ones that were turned here by the Alpha . . . they haven’t eaten any hearts, because there are no spare hearts for them to eat . . . All of those are going to the monsters he doesn’t have total control over out there in the trading posts . . . Maybe there’s a chance that tablet has a cure for the werewolves or shifters that have never had hearts the way we found one for vampires that never had blood.” To say he looked dubious would be an understatement, so I added, “That’s not the point though. The point is that if they’re not being possessed, and they have the collars on . . . they’re pretty much human, except for extra strength and heightened senses . . . maybe a little extra macho bravado.” Then I told showed him the next pictures and said, “That’s Franklin, Juan, James, and Jeremy . . . get used to them too, because we’re going to be seeing a lot of them as well.” 

Dean shook his head. “I don’t mind using ‘em as inside men here, but we’re not running a camp for werewolves.” 

“First of all . . . You can’t use them and then kill them, so they don’t become a problem later. They’re good guys. I hurt Tom pretty bad, but he still helped me get the other 4 under control, so I could exorcise them. He also helped me map a way into the city through the tunnels, and it’s complete with what traps we need to be aware of down there. Second of all, until we find the cure . . . if there is one . . . they’re strong, they have extra senses, and they won’t transform unless they take the collars off. They’d help out at the camp with security even better than Jasper.” 

Dean said there was no cure, and he didn’t want them around the camp if all it would take is for them to take the collars off. If they really were supercharged, then if that happened everyone at the camp would be screwed. 

“James is Jasmine’s Dad, so he’s invested. The other three don’t have kids, but they were all in Creech Air Force base when it got taken over by Sam’s demons. They’re all Army that were sent here after the outbreak to try and help the Air Force contain the Croatoan virus in and around Las Vegas, and they all know how to fight the way we need. They’d make great hunters, and they want to help us . . . How do you think I got back out here? We had a run in with some skinwalkers in the tunnels. We were on our way into the city, so I could finish my map and light up a gas main using a tiny incendiary device that I know takes time to get hot, works, and that they’ll never find. I wanted to give the demons something to watch if you were having a hard time getting out of there, because it was nearly dawn . . . I got knocked out, so I don’t know what happened, but I didn’t get bitten by a skinwalker, and I ended up here, so one of them must’ve brought me back . . . and I sort of –“ 

Dean sighed and said, “told them they could stay? If you got knocked out before you could set that up, they did it for you. We would’ve had to wait until tomorrow night to get out of there if they hadn’t . . . I don’t like it . . . you’re sure they’re cut off from the alpha?” 

I said I was as sure as I could be, but I didn’t have any reason to doubt them and prevented him from saying it by adding, “Other than they’re werewolves.” 

He said he’d think about it and then he told me what happened while he was in the city. By the time he was done, I thought the timing couldn’t have been better, because I caught movement on one of the hills and recognized Franklin. _It’s now or never, Dean._ “If they’re sending 2 convoys out a week, we can’t have 2 trucks following each convoy the way we planned. We’ll have to hold half of them back for the second convoy . . . So, we could use say . . . 4 extra pairs of hands that would be almost as good as Cas is at tracking the convoys after the teams stop to take out the outposts . . . I mean wasn’t it frantic when Cas was just helping 4 teams? Now there’s going to be some overlap with the convoys being sent out later in the week, and he’ll have to help 8 teams some of those days.”

Dean grinned at my persistence before I tilted my head towards the 5-man . . . werewolf team heading towards us down the hill. “Think I need to up my game . . . you’re kicking my ass on this mission.” 

I smiled, because he was finally admitting we’d been playing a game since the day I met him. “Nah, 2-0 isn’t that bad.” 

Dean watched the werewolves get closer and said, “You’re here. You figured out how to block me from when you get hurt. And now it looks like you’re bringing werewolves home with us, because I can’t figure out a better way of following the convoys . . . Think it’s more like 3-0,” before he got out of the truck with me, so we could go meet them before the other hunters had a chance to figure out what they were. 

Dean zeroed in on Tom as the leader of their pack straight away. It was like two alpha males sizing each other up . . . actually it wasn’t like that. It was that. Nobody listened when I started to explain what was going on with the convoy situation. I found it annoying. “I’ll let you guys finish up your silent pissing contest . . . I’ll just be over there letting the hunters in on it . . . I’m sure they’ll ignore me too, and then I can go take a nap.” 

I turned to walk away, and Tom said, “I’ve gotta ask . . . do you always let pregnant women come to your rescue or are none of the other people I see down around those trucks up to the job?” 

_I didn’t tell him . . . stupid fucking werewolf sense of hearing._

I turned around to respond to that, but Dean beat me to it. “Beth does her own thing . . . It’s how she works best. You didn’t need to knock her out and drag her back here for a few skinwalkers . . . Not when I’ve got some pictures that prove she took you down easy enough. Think I’ll find a way to print ‘em and hang ‘em on my wall.” 

Uhhh . . . they weren’t killing each other . . . I thought that was good until Tom’s posture relaxed some. “Easy? Is that what she told you?” 

_Oh, shit._ I turned back around and carried on walking, because they were about to bond over what I should and should not have been doing.


	54. Dog Soldiers

“Hey, Bobby . . . Tell Rufus it’s non-negotiable. I could hear him bitching about it way up there. Beth and me have a few things we need to talk about . . . over here.” Dean said that and then shuffled Beth off to the side. Bobby watched them for a few minutes to see what was goin’ on other than the fact that there were now 5 werewolves they wanted to join ‘em. Dean didn’t look happy about whatever he was sayin’, but then Beth bowed her head, and Dean’s posture started to relax. Dean smirked before saying some smartass comment or other, and she looked up at him with a grin and probably said her own smartass comment back, because Dean laughed. 

Those two had been more than a little secretive for a long time, but it’d been a lot worse since they came back from that 3 months on the road . . . It irked him. Bobby felt like they were plannin’ somethin’ . . . somethin’ they probably thought they’d do alone when they had a lot of other men and women wantin’ to help ‘em. He made the mistake of confronting them once, and it hadn’t gone to plan . . . course he probably should’ve put a muzzle on Adam. That’d done more harm than good, and nothin’ got accomplished. 

He noticed that while him, Rufus, and 3 other teams were heading out with the damn werewolves, the two of them were stayin’ here to do ‘surveillance’ with some of the other teams. Probably thought they could take that city down now. Probably her idea . . . Bobby knew going into Vegas last night must’ve been her idea and bringin’ these monsters on board had to be her idea too. So was goin’ after the survivors from Dean’s hunting days . . . another thing they were doin’ alone with Cas as their only back up . . . Bobby didn’t know what happened at that wendigo farm other than that he had to keep an eye on some of the victims for awhile until the doctor gave them the all clear, but none of the survivors or Dean or Beth would tell him what happened to the men runnin’ the place or what Dean and Beth found when they got there. 

Beth had more bouts of bein’ quiet and keepin’ to herself than she used to have . . . She’d already been like that since she came back from closin’ those gates, but whatever happened on that farm made her have more of ‘em now, and Dean was the only one who could get her to snap out of ‘em when they happened . . . Why? Bobby didn’t know, because they wouldn’t tell him a damn thing about it. 

They were comin’ back over now. He hadn’t followed through on Dean’s orders. He didn’t feel the need to keep a damn werewolf on staff. Dean’s posture changed again from easygoing to more rigid, and his smile dropped when Bobby told him he hadn’t done what he asked. Dean appraised him and must’ve figured Bobby wasn’t movin’ for noone in the mood he was in, so he called the rest of ‘em over to them. 

Rufus started in straight away. “Who’s takin’ ‘em? That’s what I want to know.” 

“That depends Rufus. Who’s followin’ those convoys? Last I heard, Beth said it was you and Bobby, the Minister and Gwen, Sue and Deacon, and Jeff and Robbie from River Pass . . . course that leaves Tom with the rest of us that are staying here, so I guess we all get one.” 

Bobby shook his head and said, “So, we’re on a first name basis with ‘em now? We ought to be puttin’ a silver bullet in ‘em.” 

Beth was quick to say, “The collars keep them from wolfing out, and they’re here to help. If you tell them how to kill the monsters you find, they’ll be good to go, because they’ve already got military training. You’ll clear out the trading posts faster than last time . . . and they can track the convoys you lose while you’re taking out the trading posts because of their heightened senses of smell and hearing. Cas can’t keep doing what he did the last time. 4 teams was bad enough, but 8? We’ll lose kids, and we can’t do that . . . These guys-,” 

Bobby snorted and cut her short. “Figures you’d come up with this . . . I ain’t takin’ one.” 

Dean stepped in saying, “Then go home, Bobby. I need people out here that are willing to put the lives of those kids ahead of themselves, and those werewolves are willing to do that. They take those collars off, and you can put them down the way you would any other monster but not before that. The same goes for the rest of you . . . If you don’t want to be a part of this . . . I won’t force you to work with one, but you’re going home. You’ll only jeopardize yourselves and the mission if you stay.” 

Stephen enlisted with Pamela fully backing him. “Count us in . . . wouldn’t mind seeing what those Dog Soldiers can do.” 

Beth smiled. “These things aren’t about to give up the fight and go home.” 

Stephen grinned, because he obviously knew what the hell she was talking about before Dean added proudly, “Sam had demons bust into their house, eat all their porridge, sleep in their fucking beds. No wonder they’re pissed.” It made Beth and Stephen both laugh before Dean said to Stephen, “Yeah, we watched that one after the wendigo hunt. Used your money to pay for it.” 

Stephen laughed again before he got an idea and quickly said, “Hey, we should pick up a pool table while we’re at it. Can’t have a bar without one of those.” 

_‘Those two sure get on well together now. When the hell did that happen?’ Probably while I’ve been busy doin’ Dean’s job of runnin’ the camp._

“We’re still on board if you can guarantee they aren’t a problem,” Sue said for she and Deacon. Dean nodded and had his second rescue team. 

“We will stay here . . . You’ll need us for surveillance of the city, but we will work with one when it is time,” Yuri answered for he and Ivan. 

“We’ll take one . . . the Minister and I were lookin’ forward to kickin’ some ass in those trading posts . . . and if you say they’re fine with the collars on, then I say they’re fine,” Gwen volunteered next. Dean gave her a smile and cocky response in appreciation of her support. Dean seemed to like havin’ her around even if he never met her until almost a month ago. They got on well and mocked one another but there was somethin’ more . . . they seemed to have bonded over somethin’ other than them bein’ cousins, unless that’s what cousins did . . . Bobby didn’t know. He didn’t have any family other than the two in front of him tellin’ him to go home. 

Then Rufus spoke up before Bobby had a chance to register what was happenin’. “I ain’t lettin’ everyone else take one without us, so we’ll be your fourth, but Beth knows this ain’t like that dog she brought home with you a coupla weeks ago, right.” 

“Damnit Rufus, don’t you think that’s somethin’ we ought to discuss first?” He’d been holding out to be one of the ones left here, so he could keep an eye on Dean and Beth. 

“Hell no, Bobby. I’m not gonna be sent home, just because you’re in a mood.” 

Bobby stayed silent and sulked out the window while they waited for the trucks to leave the city the next day. Rufus was filling the werewolf between ‘em in on what was what. “We’ve got two rules . . . One. That collar stays on, and two . . . you do what we say when we say it. You might be well trained, but you ain’t trained for this. We won’t have time to explain why we’ve gotta do what we’ve gotta do when we get to those outposts. It takes different things to kill different monsters, so we won’t know how to kill ‘em until we see ‘em. The one thing they’ll all have in common is they’re starving, and they want those kids for dinner, so we need to move fast . . . what’s your name.” 

Bobby looked at Rufus. _Who the hell is that man?_ Never in his life did he ever think he’d hear Rufus Turner ask a monster its damn name. _James . . . a damn werewolf named James._

The city gates started to open, and Rufus’s attention was drawn to that. “Looks like its showtime . . . Got any idea what they were doin’ in there the other night, Bobby?” 

Bobby used his binoculars to watch the first truck move to the entrance and stop, so it could wait for the others to line up behind it. “No . . . they don’t tell me a damn thing anymore.” 

Rufus threw him a look and was harsh in his response. “Give it a rest, Bobby. I’m tired of your bitchin’ and moanin’. The way you and Adam have been followin’ them around the camp, it’s like you they’re the enemy. You got any idea how many lives they’ve saved? The rest of us . . . we’re behind them . . . We may not understand what they’ve got in the works, but we don’t need to as long as they get the job done, and they get the job done . . . Every. Single. Time.” 

Bobby looked around the werewolf sitting next to him to say, “What the hell am I supposed to think with the way they keep to themselves and don’t let no one in no more . . . Oh sure they work harder than the rest of us when they’re there at the camp, but they’re never there . . . they’re supposed to be runnin’ things, and they’re not.”

“That’s bullshit, Bobby Singer, and you know it. You need to leave them be, or you’re gonna start causing problems they don’t need to deal with on top of the problems they’ve already got . . . Don’t think I don’t know your temper tantrum the last two days has been because your feelings are hurt they don’t fill you in on everything and has nothin’ to do with the werewolf sittin’ next to us . . . You’d better get your head in the game, or I’m gonna leave your ass here, and me and James are gonna go sort out these trading posts without you.” Bobby glared at Rufus before turning his attention back out the window. Apparently Rufus wasn’t done yet, because he added, “You ever think that maybe there are some things that are meant to be just between a man and a woman that you don’t have any business bein’ a part of? If they wanted it out there, they wouldn’t keep all of us guessing most of the time . . . or are they not allowed to have that, because you say so, ya damn old fool?” 

James nudged Rufus to get his attention back on the gates. “You’re gonna wanna watch this.” _Even the damn werewolf knows more about whats’ goin’ on than I do._ The first trucks started to roll out of the city, and a couple of helicopters Bobby wasn’t expectin’ to see, started to take off from the middle of the city. _Oh, balls._

Somethin’ started goin’ wrong with one of ‘em . . . looked like they were losing control of it, but there more were taking off now. Then something went wrong with the second one. The first two helicopters started droppin’ out of the sky at almost the same time. One of them took out another helicopter that was on its way up, resulting in a massive explosion in the sky. Seconds later, a big ball of flames shot up from the ground when the other helicopter crashed. Soon the flames of more helicopters could be seen lighting up the city and thick black smoke trailed started to trail up from each of the crash sights. Bobby waited for more to take off, but it looked like all they had was 8. 

“Woohooo . . . didn’t I tell ya, Bobby? They know how to get the job done . . . would’ve been a mother to deal with those choppers too!” Rufus was crowing, like a damn rooster puffed up with pride at bein’ right on this one. Bobby exhaled at the exhilarated feeling he couldn’t contain and went back to watching the trucks to see if they were gonna head back inside the city or keep going . . . a demon came out of the city and went to the lead truck. It looked like it was arguing with the drivers before it pointed and the truck slowly took off. 

“You gonna sit there shoutin’ and hollerin’ all day, or are we gonna get this show on the road,” Bobby sighed a few minutes later after the trucks passed through the monster wall and headed past where he and Rufus were lying in wait on the southwest side of the city. Rufus’s gleeful attention was on Las Vegas as more explosions of other targets around the city were blown sky high, so it still took ‘em another minute to get out of there.

Bobby watched the delivery truck a mile or two in front of ‘em through his binoculars. “This one has a blue mark in the corner. You’re gonna want to take a hard right heading South, so be ready to do it when I tell ya.” Cas hadn’t marked the last couple of trucks, so they hadn’t had to waste time followin’ ‘em. Looked like they’d finally have a chance to see what this werewolf could do. 

“You know if the driver’s are . . . like you or humans with demons inside ‘em?” Rufus asked James as he turned down the road Bobby directed him down. 

“They only use human bodies to drive these trucks, and they’re all alive if that helps.” It did. Meant they had to get the shots right if they wanted to trap ‘em without killing the meat suits. Made things that little bit harder. 

“All right. First thing we’ve gotta do is shoot ‘em with these,” Rufus said pulling out a box of ammo and handing it to the werewolf. “Bobby’ll give you a gun you can use . . . you hit ‘em with one of these bullets somewhere non-fatal, and as long as the bullet stays inside ‘em we can exorcise the demons and send ‘em to Hell before they can smoke out and go back to Vegas. That gives us 2 more survivors to bring back home with us and keeps Sam from knowin’ what we’re up to out here . . . for a while at least.” James took the gun Bobby handed him and examined the grip and feel of it as they headed towards what probably used to be ranger’s station in Gila National Forest. 

Parking a good distance back from the truck when it stopped, all three hopped out with their bags. Rufus told James to go ahead and take a crack at the demons. He and Bobby wouldn’t be far behind. “You think he’s up for this?” Bobby asked Rufus as they slung their bags over their shoulders. 

“Only one way to find out.”

They picked up the pace when they heard gunshots. By the time they got there, the monsters had already hit the truck, and James was fighting with what looked like . . . _oh balls! I hate these._ Bobby pulled out a modified taser a couple of seconds after Rufus did.

“Stand down, James!” James let go of the rawhead, took a couple of reluctant steps back at Rufus’s order, and Rufus fried the bastard. When Rufus got close enough, he handed the werewolf several tasers and told him to go after the ones that had kids already, “But don’t shoot ‘em if they’re holding onto the kids . . . there’s 100,000 volts in each of those.” James nodded, stuffed all the tasers but one into his bag, and took off around the back of the cabin, while Bobby tasered a rawhead trying to escape around the side, and then the race was on to stop any from getting away as 30 or more tried to pile out of the ranger’s station at once. 

Tasering the monsters that were touching others made it easier to take out more than one at a time, so Rufus hit one and brought down 5. Bobby did the same and got 4 more before dropping the taser and reaching for another. When there were about 15 left, Rufus turned to Bobby and said, “Go check on James and see if he needs any help finding all of ‘em. I’ve got this.” 

Bobby followed the way James had gone around back and didn’t see anything, but did hear a blood curdling scream and a few cries further off in the woods . . . He went towards the scream . . . more immediate danger there. _Ah, God bless it._ The rawhead had already taken a big bite out of the kid’s shoulder and was still crouched down over her lookin’ for more, so Bobby picked up a branch lying on the ground and swung it hard into the rawhead’s head to get it away from the little girl and then kicked it far enough away from her that he could taser it. 

When it was dead, he went back to the girl. She was bleedin’ bad, and he was tryin’ to stop it, but it looked like they were gonna lose another one. Then James came running up out of nowhere and pushed him out of the way. “I’m a medic. Take the other’s back to the cabin, and I’ll look after this.” James rushed to unzip the bag he had with him, and now that Bobby looked at it, he realized it was Beth’s first aid kit. 

James pulled out some kind of a powder, poured it over the girl’s shoulder, and grabbed some gauze to hold over it, so he could soak up the bleeding, while he tried to get the girl to foucs on something else. He looked like he knew what he was doing, so Bobby stood from the ground before turning and found himself faced with 4 pairs of scared eyes. “Well, I’ll be damned.” He looked behind him at the girl they were watchin’ and ushered them away from their friend. 

When he got them to the front of the ranger station, Rufus was just finishin’ up on the last rawhead. “That all the kids?” 

“Uh, well, I’m not sure . . . not from the looks of things,” Bobby amended as James came around the corner carrying the little girl with him. 

“There any more of those rawheads out there?” Rufus asked James. 

James tilted his head to the side as he handed the little girl to Bobby and said, “I’ve got movement to the west and northwest about a mile from here headin’ away fast.” 

Rufus grinned. “Think you can catch ‘em while Bobby and me burn this place to the ground?” James didn’t wait any longer than that before he took off at a sprint through the forest heading west.

The place was up in flames, and Bobby and Rufus were almost done digging out the bullets in the two meat suits when James came back saying that the targets had been found and neutralized. Rufus gave Bobby another grin. “See, gettin’ the job done.” Bobby shook his head and kept his mouth shut while he focused on getting the man he was workin’ on up, so he could rest inside the truck. 

Since Cas was still in the radio silence zone around Vegas, they had James tap out the Morse Code for their coordinates to him, and the angel was there a few seconds later to take the survivors back to their camp. Cas took one look at the girl and healed her. It made James snort before shaking his head, but Cas let James know that what James had done hadn’t been all for naught. “She wouldn’t have survived if you hadn’t treated her when you did . . . Now she won’t live with a permanent reminder of what happened here today.” James gave the angel a nod, and Cas left with the survivors after giving a meaningful look to Bobby that said he shouldn’t have questioned Dean . . . everyone seemed to be giving him a hard time about this . . . maybe he needed to back off.

They were back on the road, and James pointed them in the direction the convoy had turned a little while later. They didn’t have to be in a massive rush to catch up with it, because the next truck in the line hadn’t had any blue paint. This time sure was a hell of a lot easier than the last time. “Let me ask you somethin’, James . . . How’d you end up with Beth’s first aid kit? She don’t let that out of her sight anymore than she does her weapons bag when she’s out on the road.” 

“She gave it to the Master Sergeant. Said she wouldn’t need it and someone with the right training might be able to use it if they were in a pinch . . . thought it was strange myself . . . now I know it’s because they’ve got an angel with ‘em that can heal anything.” Yeah, Cas was thick as thieves with ‘em . . . It was hard letting go of being the one they turned to all the time, but maybe it was what happened when your kids grew up and moved out . . . Bobby would kill anyone that suggested it, but maybe he was experiencing Empty Nest Syndrome and was finding it difficult to adjust. 

But they did have dangerous jobs, so he felt justified in worryin’ about ‘em. “Let me ask you somethin’ else, James . . . say your kids did what you do for a living when they grew up . . . and –“ 

James shook his head and interrupted him. “Touchy one there, Bobby . . . my little girl’s not done growing. She’ll be 6 next month. She lost her Mom to cancer a year before the virus . . . saw me get turned into a monster before they carted me off for possession. She got sent out to one of those trading posts like the one we just hit, and she came out alive. She’s at your camp right now, and she’s being trained on how to do things I never would’ve thought of having her do a year ago, but if it’s the only way she’ll survive all this, then I’m all for it . . . kinda lookin’ forward to seein’ what my Jazz can do now. She always was my little scrapper . . . stubborn, like you wouldn’t believe . . . gotta say I’m proud of her . . . also gotta say that now that I know what kinds of things she was sent out there to feed, I’m lookin’ forward to takin’ out as many of those sonsofbitches as I can . . . time for a little payback.” 

He was a werewolf hunter in the making from the sounds of it. Even had a hunter’s story. A werewolf hunter was something else Bobby never thought he’d hear of in his lifetime. Dean must’ve suggested which werewolves went with which teams to their pack leader . . . must’ve known this man’s story would resonate with him and Rufus . . . because Dean knew this werewolf’s story . . . hell, Dean had saved this guy’s daughter, and James had been more than adequate . . . He and Rufus wouldn’t have been able to save all the kids on this one if it weren’t for the monster sitting next to them . . . looked like he had some apologizing to do when they got back to Vegas, and he was proud of Dean and Beth too . . . maybe he should tell them that more often instead of givin’ ‘em a hard time just because he missed them.


	55. Preparation Is Half the Battle

Cas came back with more reports of the successes the teams on the road were achieving . . . not a single loss so far. The city hadn’t responded to what happened the other morning with the choppers crashing . . . it would if those delivery trucks didn’t come back . . . The decoys were all returning back to base, which worked in their favor, because having those return made it look like nothing was up, but Dean was unsure how long that would hold when the other trucks that were due back didn’t show. 

Dean maintained his watch, looking for any changes around the city through his binoculars. He’d spent most of the last two days either searching the tunnels with Cas, Beth, and Tom or looking for signs that something unexpected was happening from his perch on this foothill. “Hey, Tom . . . the other trucks are due to leave in two days time, right?” The Master Sergeant came up beside him and said that was right. “Any other ways they have to track the convoys? Anything else like the choppers? Planes, something like that? They didn’t have time to rethink the first convoy, but they have time to be prepared for this next one.” 

Tom glanced towards the city and answered, “Well, there is an airport inside those walls . . . Most of the people that could fly took off with their planes to parts unknown when things got bad, but it’s possible they could find some planes that work or fix up the ones that don’t.” _Shit._ Cas hadn’t had a chance to take photos of the whole city before those harpies interrupted him. 

Beth was sitting on the ground nearby picking at the hem of her jeans, and her eyes were a little grayer than normal. She was thinking . . . it was the same expression she used when she was playing chess, and she’d been wearing it for the last couple of days. She took a deep breath and looked up at Dean to finally fill him in on what she was thinking now that Tom had said that about the planes. 

“He’s giving kids to the monsters at the 40 remaining trading posts every week instead of every other week . . . he couldn’t get any new monster alliances, and keeping the ones he has is so important that he’s making mistakes just to keep them . . . and it’s because he knows Crowley has Eve . . . She’s the most important thing to them, except for one thing . . . food. That’s still going to be at the top of a monster’s hierarchy of needs. If Eve and Crowley can’t provide that, then the monsters will stick with Sam . . . But, there’s a price for doing that kind of business when your stocks are running low . . . how many kids did you say are left? Maybe 2000? Those kids are like gold . . . they’re the new currency, and if I had to guess, that’s probably why he released the Croatoan virus. He got rid of most of the humans so he could control the monsters not mentioned in whatever tablet he was getting through their food source . . . if it was the one of the serious tablets, like the angel, demon, god, or death tablets, I think Crowley would’ve found a loop hole to get out of their deal, so Crowley would’ve only told Sam that he’d be getting a monster tablet, and that’s what Sam prepared for . . . but Sam didn’t plan on it taking this long to find the key to ruling in God’s thrown when he let that truck of vaccines go, and he didn’t plan on it taking this long to find me when he set his camp up . . . now he’s only got a few more weeks of kids left in the bank to keep those monster alliances . . . 10 weeks at most . . . unless he starts using the adult meat suits the demons are wearing, but he’s already made the mistake of turning most of the adults into werewolves or skinwalkers . . . Even if we weren’t taking out the rest of the trading posts, he’d lose those alliances in 11 weeks, because none of those monsters are going to listen to him if he doesn’t offer them food when their mother is telling them to do something else . . . Sam’s on a sinking ship, and his ego is so colossal that he doesn’t think it will be a problem.” 

She paused when Dean sat next to her. He saw where she was going with this. If she’d been looking for a way to convince him to take this city down while she was here to help him do it . . . she’d found it, and he was listening, because after being here for a few days, he was ready for this to be over too. “You’re thinking that us taking out these trading posts is check.” 

She nodded before saying, “Yeah, but we’ve got another player we have to outmaneuver at the same time.” 

_If we don’t bring the city down now, Crowley will._ “Crowley took a hit when we closed the Gates of Hell. That’s why he had to get Eve out of Purgatory to match Sam’s monster army. Crowley probably has spies in Vegas, and they’ll take out the alphas once Sam’s monster alliances are gone . . . no alphas, no shifters and no skinwalkers. All Sam will have left are demons. If the demons see Sam lose all the monsters . . . might make most of them rethink sticking around. Then Crowley comes in with his demon/monster army, and the kids will get caught in the middle.” 

Beth glanced at him and tried her pitch. “Yeah . . . We have to get the rest of those kids out of there, and we have to do it now, because maybe even the trading posts our teams are hitting right now will be enough for Crowley to decide his spies should take out the Alphas. And we can’t let Crowley get that tablet or Kevin. He’ll think that one tablet is better than no tablet and no prophet because he can’t find me . . . If we find a way to get around whatever air support they’re planning to use to follow the convoys in two days and stick with the plan to take out the rest of those trading posts, we can get all of the kids and take out the monsters that Crowley would just take over once Sam’s empire crumbles . . . and I need you to let me deal with Sam.” Dean went to shake his head, and she smiled. “I promise I won’t kill him . . . I already know what I’m going to do. I’ve been working on it with Cas. Let me deal with it. You can worry about how we’re going to get in that city and get those kids, and how we’re going to deal with that last convoy.” 

The convoys . . . he already knew what he wanted to do on that. “Tom, you got any Air Force buddies in the city that we could free and send to Creech to pick up some fighter jets? Might need to go into the camp and take out their air traffic control if that’s still up and running, so they won’t notice anything on the radar when the planes are shot down far enough away from the city and convoys it can’t bee seen by either one . . . I think we’re gonna need more of your men to help me and Beth inside those walls too. We need help getting rid of the rest of those angel wards that are all over the city, so Cas can help us pull this off.” 

Tom said he had a few guys in mind, and he’d take Dean in to find them as soon as it was dark. That worked for Dean. They had two days to put this together before the next convoys went out. Dean looked back at Beth and said, “We’ll have Cas send two of the rescue teams we have here after the convoys the way we planned. Bobby and Rufus can go again in our place. They’re hitting the last truck without getting anywhere near New Orleans again, so they’ll get done faster than the other teams . . . then which ever of the other teams gets done first can take Ivan and Yuri’s place. I want them here for this . . . if Tom has a couple of spare men we can send with the two new rescue teams going out, then that frees Cas up to focus on the city with us. Think you can find a way to get Gabriel to help us out again . . . might be good to have him as extra back up even if he’s not at 100% after the last time. And we’ll talk about the Sam thing later.” 

\----------------------

Dean and Tom, along with another one of Tom’s men, were making their way towards the air traffic control tower deep inside the walls of Sam’s camp a day and a half later. “You think those Air Wolves made it to Creech yet?” 

“Dog Soldiers . . . Air Wolves . . . What would you have come up with for the Navy? Sea Dogs?” 

Dean grinned before saying, “Yeah, actually . . . gotta keep you all separate somehow.” Tom exhaled in mild frustration and looked at his watch before nodding that they should have made it. Good. They didn’t have much time to spare before those convoys left in a few hours . . . it wasn’t daylight yet, but it wouldn’t be long before it was. “All right . . . I’m gonna go in and clear out the demons . . . You do whatever you have to do to bring that radio tower down without making much noise. You’re other men have found the wards they need to scratch out around the city, right?” 

Tom cocked his head to the side, like he was listening for something before giving a nod. That was the riskiest part of this plan . . . They were relying on being able to make a move on Sam before Rachel found out about it, so she couldn’t alert Raphael that Beth was here. Those angel wards were just about the only thing that would keep Beth safe if that happened, but they needed Cas in here with them, and they needed Gabriel. 

Dean was relying on Gabriel being able to keep Raphael occupied long enough that Cas could get Beth out of here if things got bad. They were making their move right after those convoys left, so those trading posts they were heading towards could be taken out before Crowley knew about it. Why hadn’t he sent Beth home? She refused to go.

She said he’d need her help with Sam, because she thought he’d let Sam kill him if it came down to him or Sam, and she’d argued that she would die too if that happened . . . He couldn’t deny that was a possibility, so she’d gotten her way after promising again that she wouldn’t kill Sam. He didn’t know what she had planned on that front . . . That made him uneasy, but he had to trust her on this, because he didn’t trust himself if it came down to him or Sam.

Now that leaving bodies behind wasn’t an issue, he’d gone back to his demon-killing knife . . . it’d be good if they could save the meat suits, but they couldn’t let these demons go back to Hell and give Crowley the heads up on what was about to go down . . . Using the knife was the one way he knew how to would put the demons down for good without Cas having to pull them out of the meat suits and smite them. There just wasn’t time to wait around for all the wards to be scratched out, so Cas could get in here and do that . . . Besides it’d make too much noise and too much light and bring unwanted attention their way . . . not that the meat suits didn’t deserve a chance to live. They did, but there were no guarantees that the meat suits were still alive. The longer the demons had them, the fewer living meat suits they found. 

“We all good?” Beth asked as Dean made his way down into the tunnel where she was hiding out with about 10 of Tom’s men. Those convoys should be leaving any minute, and then this team of 12 was going to use the tunnels to get between the human camps and liberate the kids. After the kids were all out, the Dog Soldiers were going to deal with the werewolf camp however Tom wanted . . . if they kept it quiet, then there’d be more werewolves joining their cause . . . if not then the noise would create a diversion while he and Beth headed towards the Luxor to hit the vault and take out the alphas. 

Dean took a knee, so he could check his ammo bag and start running through a quick inventory to make sure he had everything he needed. “Uh, yeah . . . They should be heading out in 10, and the control tower is cleared . . . planes already took off and are circling the city waiting for the trucks to leave . . . angel wards are down around the city, and Tom’s having one of his men relay the message to Cas.” 

Beth slipped her hellhound glasses out, and put them on, while she crouched next to him. “You’re sure we should do this during the day and not at night.” 

Dean smiled while checking the magazine on another gun and said, “Yeah . . . if you’re thinking it, then Sam wouldn’t expect it during the day . . . takes care of needing a back up plan if he suspects what happened with the choppers was down to us.” Beth nodded before looking over his shoulder as one of Tom’s men brought Yuri and Ivan into this section of the tunnel to report on the tunnels between the human camps. They were all clear, except for some hellhounds. Cas could take care of the those when he got here . . . Cas smiting them or killing them with the angel blade in the tunnels wouldn’t be noticed as long as none of those bitches got out of here and went to their masters.

Beth went from looking up at Yuri to unzipping her bag and rummaging around in it for something. “Uh, I’ve got one more thing I want to do while we wait . . . can you please round up Tom and his men for me, Yuri?” When they were all there, Beth pulled out a permanent marker and said, “Don’t take this the wrong way, but uh, I need to see your chests . . . I need to draw on a tattoo like me and Dean have. You should leave your shirts open until the ink is dry and don’t let any demons know where you have them . . . it’s not as good as a tattoo, which isn’t perfect either, but as long as it doesn’t smear, and you don’t sweat it off . . . it should work to help keep you from being possessed again . . . we’ll look at something more permanent later, but that’ll hurt more.” 

Tom looked like he thought Beth was being dumb and said, “I still have a limp because of you, and this makes you feel bad? We’ll make them more permanent now,” before putting his hand out to take the silver knife Dean had gotten out while Beth was giving her speech. Carving them on with a silver knife ought to do the trick . . . it’d scar over and work just the same as a tattoo on a human. 

“Uhh . . . yeah, sure . . . It’s just I seem to remember you howling in pain when I stabbed you and thought we should be quieter this time. If you can be fast about carving it into your chests and not act like big babies, then go for it, ass.” 

Dean stifled a laugh at the reaction that got from the men until one of them asked if Beth was gonna show them her tattoo, so they could see what one looked like, and she said, “How about I do you one better and show you . . . Damn, uh, what I mean is –“ 

Dean pushed her behind him and took a step forward before he pulled down the collar of his black t-shirt, so they could see his, and Beth whispered, “What? I wasn’t going to show them both of mine. I was going to say he could see what one looked like on a real man, but then I thought that might be a bit politically incorrect given the circumstances.” A few of the Dog Soldiers laughed, and Beth put her forehead on his back before grumbling,“Fucking heightened sense of hearing,” before another one of the werewolves said she could still be the one to put the marks on them if she wanted to make it up to them. Beth muttered, “I said not to take it he wrong way and everything. I’m going to go over there and hang out with the grown ups,” while she turned around and walked away the way she used to do in the bars. 

Dean stayed there, so Tom could work off his tattoo as a template for the way the first anti-possession carving should look. They could use that guy’s carving for the others after that, because Dean had other things to do. One of the werewolves asked why Beth had two tattoos if one would work. “They work unless someone cuts into ‘em and breaks the ward . . . that’s why the demons can’t know where you have them.” 

Tom asked if her being possessed was how she got into this whole thing, while he moved onto the next wolf. Dean stopped pulling his collar down and shook his head. “She was already in this before that . . . one way or another she’s been in it since the day she was born.” 

Another werewolf said, “The Master Sergeant said she was good. How’d she let that happen?” Wasn’t any of their business how it happened. Dean didn’t need to be reminded of it with what they were about to do . . . or maybe he did . . . What was he thinking letting her stay for this? Dean glanced back at her while she talked to Cas, who’d finally shown up. He’d promised her he wouldn’t let it happen again . . . Maybe that’s why he decided in that moment to create a fail-safe in case he couldn’t for whatever reason. 

“The guy running this camp is my brother . . . He stabbed into her first tat and put a demon in her to try and torture some intel out of her using those powers he has. What she knows is a lot more dangerous than what she can do. It can destroy the universe and finding her again is the reason my brother made this camp, but she’s strong, and torture doesn’t work on her . . . never has . . . you could say she’s trained on how to be on the receiving end of that for most of her life too, and she won’t break whatever happens . . . the catch is that if she dies, we’ve got angels in Heaven that want what she knows too so they can do the same thing Sam wants to do with it. That means she can’t die either. You do whatever it takes to have her back . . . don’t do it for her or me . . . do it for all the family you have that have already gone on, because their souls will be destroyed too . . . and there’s no bringin’ them or you or anyone you know that’s still alive back if this goes south.” Then he turned and went to try and talk some sense into Beth one more time.


	56. The Great Escape

“No, Dean. I already said I’m doing this, and I’m not going back on it. I’m going up now . . . You can keep talking to the space where I was, because you’ll have a better chance of convincing it to go home, or you can come with me . . . Don’t try to get Cas to take me home . . . Cas and I are on the same page this time, and if you knock me out or have one of your buddies over there knock me out and drag me away from here, I swear . . . I’ll be pissed off enough that I’ll be able to ask God to send me straight into Sam’s lair when I wake up again.” I pulled myself up through a manhole cover that brought me out not far from one of the human camps. 

Neither of us needed this last minute cold feet business. All that would do is get us killed. I quickly hid behind the nearest structure I found and waited for the others to follow me up. As expected, Dean was next and then Tom and the others. Cas stayed where he was, so he could wait for the first batch of kids. 

Dean looked livid but didn’t say anything as he moved past me to lead the way to the human camp. It took us about 3 minutes to get there. Just before we left the cover of the last building between the human camp and us, Dean paused and put his arm out to stop me from going forward. It reminded me of the kitsune case, when he put his arm out to stop me as an extra protective measure, even though it was unnecessary, because I’d heard the demon. As soon the demon we were waiting for came around the corner, Dean shoved it up against the building and sunk his angel blade into its chest before it could register that we were there. He was feeling over protective and pissed off at the same time . . . dangerous combination for anything we came across. 

When the coast was clear, Dean pulled out the wire cutters, and we made our way into the human camp . . . It was a fucking disgrace. _They might as well be living in a landfill._ Dean headed straight for the shack made of cardboard boxes, wooden pallets, and corrugated iron in the very middle of the camp, and I moved to the door of the shack to his right before he nodded, and we both went into our respective shacks at the same time . . . Starting in the middle and working our way out was the plan. 

If we got the kids in the middle out first, it’d mean we could get almost all of them out without it being noticed. Once we got to the kids living at the edges of the camp, there was a greater chance we might be seen by demons or the demons would notice the kids from those shacks were gone. 

When I walked through the door, I let my eyes adjust to the dark and was faced with 10 kids huddled together in the back. _What the hell? How are there this many kids in something this small?_ I looked for the oldest one in the room . . . He was putting himself between the kids and me and told me he thought that the trucks had already gone for the day. 

I put my hands up in a non-threatening manner and said, “Hi . . . not a demon. My name is Beth. I’m here about a prison break.” 

He still didn’t look sure. “Julie said you’d be coming . . . I didn’t think it’d be this soon. I’m gonna need a plan before I move anybody out of here.” 

_How should I respond to that?_ “Well, I’m gonna need you to drink this water, and have each of you touch this silver knife . . . I swear I won’t cut you . . . I just need to test that you’re not a demon or a shapeshifter or any other kind of monster they keep in this camp . . . Then we’ll talk.” I handed him some holy water, and he passed, so I indicated for him to pass it around, and he did . . . They all passed that test . . . clearly they weren’t getting enough water, because some of them chugged it. I had more with me, and there was more in the tunnel, so it should be fine. 

After the last kid finished, I held up my knife and showed the older boy what I wanted him to do by placing the blade on my forearm before I handed it handle first to him, so he could be the one to do this test with the others. After they passed that test, and he handed me the knife back, I said, “What’s your name?” 

“Cormac.” 

“Well, Cormac, I’m going to have some of my non-possesed werewolf companions escort you to a manhole cover about 200 yards from the edge of your camp. Then they’re going to leave you down there with a couple of my Russian friends. They’ll guard you until my angel friend Cas can fly you to trucks we have parked in the foothills outside the city. He’ll take you all at once, so nobody gets left behind, and then he’ll leave you at the trucks with other non-possessed werewolves, who will keep you safe, while he comes back to get more kids. Sound all right?” 

He still looked unsure, and asked about hellhounds. “Hellhounds are easy to kill as long as you can see them . . . It’s why I’m wearing the glasses . . . I can see them through these. Cas really is an angel, so he can see and kill hellhounds without needing the glasses, but you’re one of the first groups we’re getting out of here, so you shouldn’t have to worry about them. When you get to the trucks, ask to put on some werewolf repellant . . . that way no demons in werewolves will be able to track us away from the city . . . make sure you tell the other kids that get brought out to put it on too. We good to go?” 

Cormac nodded, and I poked my head outside the shack to make sure that the coast was clear. It was, so I indicated to Tom that we were coming out. He nodded that they were ready. His men were spread out in a chain between between the camp and the manhole cover, so they could direct the kids where to go and provide them with some protection along the way. 

“Okay guys. Go where that man over there next to the fence tells you to go . . . stay quiet, stay low, try to stay in the shadows, and make sure you don’t draw any attention to yourselves.” I ushered them out of the shack and followed behind them, so I could watch their backs until they got to Tom, and he took it from there. I turned in time to see Dean coming out with his own batch of kids and moved on to the next shack to the right of the one I’d started in to keep the flow going.

Unfortunately, the further away from the middle of that row that I moved, the fewer kids there were in each of the shacks . . . The demons obviously went for the ones that they didn’t have to travel far into the camp to grab for the delivery trucks. By the time I got to the next-to-last shack, there were 2. They both passed their tests and then teen girl said in an accusatory way, “I thought you were supposed to be saving the kids on those trucks. They need your help more than we do.” 

_I know, Andrea . . . you’ve lost almost all of them. Maybe even some today._ “We’re doing both, but we can’t be in two places at once. Dean and I are here in the camp, but our friends are tracking down those trucks as we speak . . . more of our friends are still picking up the trucks that left earlier in the week. We haven’t lost a single kid yet. They’re all safe back at our home getting check ups from our doctor, picking out blankets and clothes, and choosing the cabins where they want to live . . . after the convoy that was sent out today, there won’t be anymore trading posts, so this place won’t have anymore monster allies. The King of Hell has demon spies here, so he’ll find out about it, and then he’ll launch an attack on this city. You guys can’t be here when that happens.” 

She relaxed a little and gave me a little nod to let me know she understood. I hoped some of the kids Dean and the others saved while I’d been closing the gates were hers, but I didn’t want to get her hopes up, so I didn’t say anything about them. She could find out if they were when she got to our camp. 

This time when I went to bring them out, I had the first of many minor skirmishes that day. I saw two demons coming down the row of shacks we’d cleared and put my hand up for the two kids to wait behind me, while I let the demons pass the entrance to the shack. After they’d gone by the door, I moved out behind one and grabbed the back of its shirt, so I could hold it in place while I stabbed it in the back. While it was flickering, I withdrew my blade and dodged the punch of the bigger demon next to it. 

Following through on my movement, I pivoted behind it, while using my angel blade to slice across its side, and then brought my blade down with both hands straight into its back. _Great. Two dead bodies . . . pretty sure Dr. Thomas and Dean wouldn’t approve of me dragging them._ I didn’t have to worry about it for long, because Andrea and the little boy came out and helped me pull the bodies into their shack before they ran towards Tom and were on their way to freedom.

It took a couple of hours, but we finally had that human camp cleared and headed back to the manhole, so we could make our way to the next human camp. “How many do you think that was?” 

I’d forgotten about Dean being angry with me until I caught the look he threw my way just before he and shook his head and said, “Bout 500 if you came up with the same kinds of numbers I did.” 

I looked away from him after that, because I didn’t want to fight with him. We hadn’t had an argument in a long time, and I didn’t want us to have one now when neither one of us knew how this would turn out. We had 3 more human camps to clear, and then we’d be up for the real test . . . He’d either get over it and be fine, like he was before talking to the fucking werewolves about whatever had set him off, or he’d be worse, but I wasn’t leaving. 

With the next manhole, I let him crawl out of it first to maybe try and make it up to him. The second camp went as well as the last one had . . . we needed to pick up the pace though, because it was only a matter of time until someone noticed the kids were missing.

That moment came when we were on the fourth, and final, human camp. The third camp was the closest one to where the trucks were parked when they came back to the base, and because demons are lazy unless they’re ambitious, they chose to take most of the kids from there, because it was the easiest place for them to start. As a result, there weren’t many kids left in the third camp, so it didn’t take us long to clear it. 

On the other hand, the 4th camp, being the furthest from the truck starting point, had more kids than any of the other human camps, so that’s what we were clearing when the shouts of a prison break started to ring out around the city. We’d already cleared half of the 4th camp, so by my estimation, we were looking at roughly 350 more kids to get out of there and almost no time to do it. There were 10 kids in the shack I was in at the moment. 

“All right guys . . . This is what we’re going to do . . . We’re going to play a game to see how fast you are. Each of you is going to run into a different shack in this row, and you’re going to tell the kids in those shacks word for word what I’m about to tell you.” I waited until Jamie got them to stop looking at the doorway and pay attention to me before I said, “Your message is, ‘Dean and Beth are here. We’re leaving now!’ Tell them after they each go find their own shacks to spread the message to in the row behind this one, that they are to run to the man I’m pointing to right now. Once you give the message, and point to the man, run as fast as you can to him . . . when you get to the manhole, stay there and stay quiet until the angel flies you out of here . . . tell him to make sure none of you are possessed or shifters.” I waited for Jamie to nod that he understood and then said, “On your marks. Get set. Go!” 

This was the fastest way to get them out of here as long a it didn’t turn into a game of ‘telephone gone wrong’ and they ended up thinking they were supposed to jump in a lake by the end of it. All 10 kids sprinted out of the shack and headed in different directions, so it wasn’t long before there were kids running all over the camp. Some were heading to shacks, and others were heading to Tom . . . some looked confused until they saw the other kids running towards Tom and followed them. 

One of the kids ran into the shack Dean was in and all the kids came running out and separated before heading to other tents and shacks. Dean came out looking confused and saw me standing in the middle of all the chaos, so I shrugged. He almost smiled before he went to the end of the aisle closest to the rest of Las Vegas, so he could keep watch while I tried to direct more children towards Tom, who was pushing them to keep on running to the next werewolf down the chain. 

The demons may have only found the kids missing in one of the other human camps, but they’d find out about the others being gone soon . . . that might buy us maybe 5-10 minutes before they made it to this camp tucked away in the back . . . it definitely let Sam know we were coming though . . . maybe Crowley too. With 350 kids living in about 40 or so shacks and tents, it didn’t take long for the last ones to filter towards Tom, and I had a final decision to make . . . _Postpone or follow through on our plans?_

We wouldn’t have another chance at this, and Crowley couldn’t be allowed to get the alphas, Kevin, or the tablet. I went to Tom after a final walk through to make sure the kids were all gone and told him it was time for he and his men to hit the werewolf camp. “Go in guns blazing. Remember the silver rounds with devil’s traps on them work for normal meat suits too . . . Make lots of noise and set up a perimeter, so you have somewhere to hold the demons you shoot . . . wait until you hear from one of us before you do any exorcisms. I don’t want Crowley to know what we’re up to yet . . . and have one of your people tell Cas to meet us in the Luxor when he’s done taking the kids to the trucks.” I was just finishing up when Dean got there, pulled me back behind the cover of a shack, and told Tom to wait. 

“Dean . . . it has to be now. Before Crowley’s spies figure out what’s going on and try to get the tablet and prophet. We -“ 

“So what if they do? It’s one tablet. It doesn’t matter. You getting caught and tortured . . . you dying alone . . . Raphael getting his hands on you, and me never finding you again . . . those things matter to me. I can’t lose you . . . I don’t need you to protect me from what needs to be done with Sam.” 

I tried to put his mind at ease some by saying, “Dean . . . I have a plan. Sam won’t see it coming, and even if he did, it wouldn’t matter, because he is prepared for the Beth he knew from a year or two ago, not who I am now. I can save him. Trust me.” Dean listened to what I said, and then it looked like he got an idea. He turned around to nod at Tom to let him know that the plan was still on before pulling me in the opposite direction of the way out of there. Whatever he was planning, I didn’t know what it was. 

Getting into the Luxor wasn’t that bad. There were a lot of demons, but we went up into the ruins of a casino nearby and used a grappling gun to shoot a zipline into the third story of the Luxor. It allowed us to simply by-pass all the demons on the ground. Once we were inside, we took out security cameras before we could be seen on them using lasers to blind them until Dean got close enough to blacken them with paint. Someone somewhere would notice the cameras going dark, so we got rid of the ones on the 4th and 2nd floors and then the 5th and 1st floors. That way they’d hopefully have no idea where we were on any of those floors. Cas would take over on getting rid of the rest of the security cameras higher up when he got here. We’d already made a good start, so we headed to the floor above the vaults. 

We figured that the alphas went into lockdown the second the shouts about the kids being gone rang out. That meant more demons would be added to protect them just outside the vault doors, so going down to the actual vaults was not a viable option. Dean broke through the floor and the concrete slabs below it with some tools he brought, while I stood guard at the door and took out any demons that came by to investigate the noise. It took a good deal of time, and then Dean brought out his blowtorch and began to cut a hole in the roof of the vault . . . It was thick, I guess, because it was designed for this kind of wear and tear. 

If the casino had been run by a bunch of humans like it used to be, we wouldn’t have done it this way, because it took too much time and was too loud. Humans running this place wouldn’t have been on the floor below waiting to take us to Sam . . . Humans wouldn’t have even known we were there at all, because we would’ve blended in with them, but we couldn’t do that when we were the only humans outside of the semi-human Sam in the building. Plus, my soul acted like a freaking beacon to demons, so a smash and grab was the best we could do right now, but all things considered, it was almost our big heist.

I heard a loud metallic thud, as the piece of the vault ceiling he’d been cutting out, landed on the bottom of the vault floor. Dean leaned down into the vault with his flashlight to make sure it was the place we wanted and then pulled himself up and said they were in there . . . That was good, because I was piling up the bodies . . . I counted 20 at that point, and we wouldn’t be able to hide them for much longer without them being seen by anyone that walked past the door. 

Dean helped me down into the vault, and then as soon as my feet and bags hit the ground, he looked down at me and said, “Beth . . . I trust you. I do. But what I need right now is not the Beth that hid the tablet we have from everyone, just so she can save Sam for me, instead of destroying it and ending the threat to God months ago. I need the Beth that was on that wendigo farm. She is a match for Sam. If he does to me what I think he will . . . she’ll know the right thing to do, and she’ll do it. I’m gonna hold on until I see you again and make sure this ends today, but if I don’t make it after that . . . I need you to not die with me. I need you to think of our kid and do whatever you have to do to you stay alive, so you can look after it for both of us . . . I got you this awhile back. Had Cas pick it up the night of the wendigo farm . . . It’s not broken . . . thought if it ever was, I could fix it then . . . might not get to now, but that was the plan. Been trying to find the right time to give it to you, and I guess now is it,” before he tossed me a watch that was an exact copy of the one I’d thrown into that first Devil’s Gate, grabbed a cabinet, slid it over the opening, and left me down there in the dark with 3 alpha monsters chained to the walls.

I gripped the watch in my hands and felt like the walls were closing in on me. My breathing was was coming out in rapid bursts. I needed to calm down. I needed to kill these alphas. I needed to find a way out of here, and I needed to go find Dean. He was using himself as a test of Sam’s ability to be saved . . . He thought if I saw Sam torture him, I’d know Sam was a lost cause, and deal with it . . . I wasn’t mad. I was terrified of what was going to happen to him. 

He knew he couldn’t kill Sam . . . He wanted me to be the one to take out his brother if it needed to be done. I’d already promised him that I wouldn’t. We’d see how I handled it when the time came. I couldn’t do any of that if I couldn’t get out of here, and before I could do that . . . I had to take out the alphas, and before I did that, I had to put on my watch and turn on my fucking flashlight, so I could see. 

When I did, their eyes were gleaming at me in the darkness at the back of the vault . . . They knew why I was there. They looked unimpressed with my little panic attack. Silver. That’s what I needed, so I grabbed my two silver knives. I didn’t want to alert the demons outside the vault doors that I was in there by using a gun. I probably couldn’t have shot one in there anyway without it ricocheting off and hitting me. 

“I can smell the fear coming from you. You will fail, and then you will die,” the alpha werewolf to my left said. It was then that I realized he’d been blinded. _Poor guy._

“I’m afraid of losing him, but fear is only a weakness when it overrides your ability to reason, and I never let that happen. I won’t do it now. I will put an end to this place, and I will put an end to your suffering, but I don’t know how to kill you. Heart? Brain? Cut your head off with a silver blade . . . angel blade? What?” 

I didn’t get anything else out of him, so I gripped the handles of my silver knives and plunged them both into his chest. _Not the heart or not just the heart? Are they even hitting his heart? One of them is. Why isn’t he dead?_ He didn’t make a sound even though I could see that it was hurting him. He didn’t want to let the demons outside know that I was there, but he wasn’t helping me make this any faster for him. I left one knife where it was, and pondered my options. The idea of stabbing him through an already gouged out eye to get to his brain seemed cruel if it wouldn’t work either. 

I went with what worked for the aswang. She died after Dean cut off her head, and I stabbed her in the heart. Maybe if he was stabbed in the heart, and I cut his head off, it would work? I quickly set about the task of hacking his head off with a knife, which was not pleasant, and took a lot of strength and time and him suffering to get done, but when that head was off, he was dead. “That was not nice . . . but unless you two can think of a better way for me to do it, than I’m sorry, but it’s what I’m gonna have to go with on you too.” 

The alpha shifter to my right said, “It’s what we deserve for what we’ve done and have allowed to be done to our children.” 

_There’s no way any of that is on you._ “I don’t really see how any of this is your fault. I mean he was blind. You’ve been hobbled, and the skinwalker had his paws chopped off. What else could you do? Not to mention the fact that they have a tablet written by God on how to control you and your offspring.” I got crickets chirping away at that response, so I sighed and said, “If it’s what you want, I can do it, because you’ve earned the right to die how you want. Good luck in Purgatory. Hopefully you can get some dignity back there,” before I gripped my silver blades tightly and started in on him.

By the time I was done with all three alphas, I think I was half mad . . . It was by far the worst thing I’d had to do in my life, even including that wendigo farm. _Raise a child on my own? I think not. Now I need to get the fuck out of this vault and find the father of my child, or that child is completely screwed._

I moved to the vault door and bent down to my bag to pull out one of the two canisters of liquid nitrogen that I’d had Cas bring me yesterday. A little digging, and I was able to find the tools I needed to drill into the interior of the door. When the holes had been drilled, I stuck the snake camera down inside the door and found the locking mechanisms. _Just need a larger hole right about . . . here._ I changed the bit on my drill and made a second hole. 

When that was done, I put my canister of liquid nitrogen through the larger hand-sized hole just above the locking mechanisms, poured it in a steady stream onto the first mechanism until it was frozen solid, and then grabbed a small hammer, wrapped it in my hat to help muffle the sound, and used it to bash the timing mechanism until it broke. Then it was, ‘Wash. Rinse. Repeat,’ for the second mechanism. 

After that, I had another quick look around the inside of the door and found two more locking mechanisms above where I’d been working and did the same thing to them with what was left of my liquid nitrogen in that canister and part of the next. That’s when I saw the first of three timing mechanisms. I didn’t have enough liquid nitrogen for three. That meant I’d be stuck in there until the right time, and then the doors would open whenever that was . . . fuck. Sam had gone all out on this. He must’ve had demon locksmiths working for him. 

_Goddamnit. I need to get the fuck out of here. What the fuck am I supposed to do now?_ I felt the panic start to return. I needed help, and I had none, and then the door clicked open. I huffed out a breath and glanced up for a few seconds before I muttered, “Really? Goddamnit works too? You like it when I swear . . . good to know,” as I slung my bag over my shoulder and readied myself by checking the magazines on my guns. When I was ready, I kicked open the heavy vault door and started shooting indiscriminately into the demons that were waiting out in the hall before they had a chance to process that I’d been in the vault and not the elevator or stairs they were waiting for us to come down. 

Demons were fucking stupid and had piss poor hearing and Sam was fucking stupid for not sending weredemons down here, because they would’ve known I’d been in there the whole time . . . He used them to guard his camp or as trackers to pick up kids who ran away from trading posts, but guarding the alphas . . . apparently not something he wanted them to do. When I was done, there were 25 bodies standing or lying around the place. 

Crowley didn’t need to know any more details on how far Dean and I had gotten into Sam’s base, so I set about killing each and every one of them with my angel blade even though I didn’t have the time and some of them could’ve been saved if I’d exorcised them . . . I couldn’t leave any behind and do the exorcism once this was all over, because I couldn’t afford for any of Sam’s other minions to find them while I made my way to the penthouse where Dean was . . . nobody from Sam’s organization could know I was here. 

When I was done with the demons, I checked my magazines, tucked my guns away, and headed up the stairs. When I came across other demons, I used my angel blade for stealth. Dean seemed to have done the same thing, because I came across a lot of dead bodies on my way up. Cas must be here somewhere too, because he’d taken out the security cameras all the way to the top.

When I got to the floor where Dean was, I saw Cas standing outside the doors of the penthouse looking forlorn next to Dean’s weapon’s bag. _That’s not a good sign._ He said he couldn’t get into the room, because there were angel wards inside. It was probably better that he couldn’t. If he could, Sam probably would’ve banished him again, and I needed him to help me pull this off. “Did you get those things we talked about, Cas?” 

He nodded and handed them to me, so I set everything out on the ground and laid a little piece of cloth in the middle before I put the ingredients on the cloth in the correct order, said the right words, and tied it together with some string at the top. _This had better work._ “Cas, can you get Tom and his men . . . they know what they’re looking for in the way of wards, so they’ll make sure you can get in there while I deal with Sam.” 

He disappeared, and came back with Tom and his men. I checked my magazine again to calm my nerves and told the werewolves what I wanted them to do. Tom put his men into position, while I turned to Cas and asked, “How many demons are we looking at in there?” He wasn’t sure because the wards were blocking his ability to sense how many were there. 

“Are the other two are ready?” I felt something brush along the top of my head that felt like a hand petting me . . . _yeah, all right._ They were invisible for this one the way I needed them to be for now. Cas and I had been planning this or something like this for a couple of weeks in the event that we got this far. Dean being in there didn’t change those plans. The only thing that changed was that I had werewolves to take down the angel wards instead of hunters. We’d suspected there’d be more angel wards around Sam’s lair for added protection . . . and I was pretty sure I knew why, because John hadn’t been able to find her up in Heaven. We had everything covered . . . now I just had two more things to do before I went in. 

Cas left for about two minutes, and came back saying Ivan and Yuri were ready. He handed me the thing I’d left back at the camp for safe keeping, and I set about taking the clay casing off before putting it in the inside pocket of my jacket. Yuri and Ivan started the pre-recorded recording I’d made this morning, and as soon as I heard it come over the loud speakers Cas had put around the city this morning, I took a deep breath and calmed myself to make sure I maintained focus. It was now or never. Sam should think I was somewhere around the camp, not just outside this door. 

At the halfway mark in the exorcism, I nodded to Cas, and he blew the doors in for me. I quickly shot the demons standing nearest to the door in the head before my eyes landed on the scene in front of me . . . And I exhaled, but instead of allowing myself to be unnerved by it, I shut down what I was feeling . . . time slowed, and I knew what I had to do.


	57. Burning It All Down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is pretty dark and may be hard to read in places.

_Should’ve thought this through first._ Dean had expected to be tortured, but he didn’t think he’d be nailed to a fucking wall through his wrists. It was to get back at him for shooting Sam in the wrist, but it completely took him out of the game. If Beth came in here, she was on her own. He had one job now. He had stay alive, so she didn’t get knocked out in the vault or somewhere between the vault and here. His job was getting harder to do. 

He could handle the demons torturing him. Sure they all wanted a crack at him for lots of reasons, and with Sam directing them on what to do, they were giving it their all, but they weren’t Alistair, and there was no way he’d ever sell Beth out . . . not even if Alistair was the one asking. After they worked him over, keeping his weight on his feet and off his wrists was almost impossible to do, and that’s when Sam had Ryan and Julie brought in from the bedroom and asked if Dean had even noticed whether or not these two had shown up in his prison escape today. The truth was Dean had and he hadn’t. 

He figured Ryan had been spooked into hiding somewhere else if Julie had been sent out on the trucks or that Beth had gotten them out before he’d had a chance to hit that shack. He hadn’t thought they’d been caught. If Beth didn’t get them, he wondered where the kids Julie had been protecting were, because they weren’t in their shack when he checked . . . he hoped they got out earlier . . . maybe one of the other teens took them in after she got picked up by Sam . . . he hoped they weren’t in the bedroom too. 

Dean looked at Julie and said, “It’s out of my hands now,” to try and let her know that Beth was coming. 

She seemed to understand and asked, “Are you ready for that?” 

Dean smiled briefly. “It’s why I’m here.” Dean didn’t know what Sam was doing through all of that, because he was focused on Julie, but then Sam told him to tell him where Beth was, or they would die. _Figured something like that was coming._ If Sam found Beth . . . their lives and their souls would both be gone. He needed to buy them some time. She should be here soon. “Sam –“ He flinched when Sam sliced Ryan’s throat with no warning to prove he meant what he’d said. 

Dean watched Sam throw Ryan’s body to the floor and Ryan gurgling and struggling to hold onto the life that was draining out of him. “They matter, Sam . . . Ryan matters. Julie matters. The billions across the planet you infected matter. The kids you’ve been feeding to monsters matter. The people you’ve been turning into monsters matter. They’re not just your playthings because you think what you do doesn’t matter . . . that you can erase it . . . there is no erasin’ this . . . You’re never going to be God. We got a tablet a couple months back . . . broke it. It’s over, and you didn’t even know it. You’ve got a lot to answer for Sammy.” 

Sam didn’t even question it. He ignored it and moved over to Julie. “Wait . . . okay. You wanna know where Beth is . . . let Julie go, and -,” 

Sam cut him off and said he knew Dean was never going to sell Beth out, so this was only ever going to end one way. Just before it happened, Julie looked directly at Dean and told him thank you. _Thank me for what? I got her involved. She should be on her way somewhere safe in Wisconsin . . . on her way to becoming a hunter . . . she was supposed to have a future_ . . . and it wasn’t a fast death. 

Dean maintained eye contact with her and said some things that were meant to be for just her. He didn’t want her to think she was alone in a room full of demons and Sam and that fucking bitch in the corner. When it was over, Dean focused a lot of his hatred at the monster bitch laughing about Julie dying, because he couldn’t look at Sam . . . Rachel thought by having Sam bind her on Earth in an angel-proofed room, she wouldn’t be found by Heaven or Beth . . . but she didn’t have much longer . . . Beth’s soul was at about 80% now. 20% and then that bitch would be gone. 

Sam was saying some bullshit about how it was time for him to go with the demon option . . . possess Dean . . . get where Beth and wherever he’d been planning on taking all of those kids out of him that way . . . He’d just wanted to have a little fun with Dean before that. _Fun? This is fucking fun? Where’s Beth? She knows how to have fun._

Sam’d had the demons peel him or cut him just about everywhere but his tattoo. Apparently, it was so Sam could cut it himself. Dean tried to maintain a cold, hard expression, but the blurriness in his eyes suggested he was failing at it while. “You know I should thank you.” Sam took a couple of steps back to see where this was going, so Dean added, “Think I’ll be all right the next time you’re dead and gone.” Sam got that demonic look on his face that said he was pissed off, and went back to the middle of the room, so Dean shouted, “I should’ve killed you the way Dad said.“ 

Sam responded to it with his fully demonic voice. “Yeah? Why didn’t you do then?” That’s when Beth’s voice came on over the loudspeakers around the camp. 

Dean knew this was their backup plan to try and gain back the element of surprise if it was blown some other way. He knew she was on the other side of that door while Sam thought she was somewhere along the walls of the city and sent Meg and one of the other demons out to go find her. They’d been gone about 10 seconds when Dean watched, as a blood soaked Beth made her impressive entrance with Cas’s help, and he finally saw that transformation where she went from the hunter he knew to the cold and calculated woman he’d needed her to be tonight. 

It started when she caught sight of him and was finished by the time she saw Ryan and Julie at Sam’s feet . . . took maybe two seconds. Now she was a match for Sam. He hadn’t intended to get it out of her this way. He knew whatever Sam did to him would be bad, and he’d walked in here unarmed, because she needed to see that Sam was beyond saving . . . maybe a part of him had thought he needed to see it too, but he hadn’t wanted anybody else to die for him or the cause the way Ryan and Julie had. 

Beth zeroed in on Sam, who was standing directly opposite her, and tossed something to her left, so it landed just outside of where Rachel was bound, and while everyone was distracted by what she threw, she took aim and shot Sam . . . not once, but 5 times . . . once in each ankle before she moved up and blew out his knees and finally shot him through his right shoulder as he fell on his back. She was really fucking fast . . . even faster than she’d been on that wendigo farm. 

She leveled her gun on the demons coming out of the bedroom and shot all 6 of them, so she could keep her attention on the ones in this room. The ones in this room were the ones that had been torturing Dean. She’d make their deaths more hands on. When she was sure nobody else was coming out of the other room, she moved forward, while she tucked the gun away and grabbed her angel blade out of her thigh sheath. 

The demons started to spread out thinking they could surround her the further into the room she got. They wanted to rush her all at once. Beth cocked her head and watched them before she almost comically and without looking at her target, raised her right arm and jabbed her angel blade into the chest of the demon to her right. She’d already shot it in the head with a devil’s trap bullet when she first entered the room, so it was an easy target for her to kill. She did it to make the first move before they could get into position. Even killing a trapped demon meant some idiot would jump gun before the others, and one did. 

Beth withdrew her angel blade from the body of the demon she’d just killed to twirl it around and stab into the heart of the demon that leapt at her from the back. She followed through with both hands while she turned to face it and quickly yanked back on her blade as the demon flickered, so she could free her blade up and be ready for the next one. As that one’s body fell, she kept her eye on the others and her angel blade in the ready position in front of her while she side stepped until she was next another demon trapped by a devil’s trap bullet. The pace had slowed down again, because the other demons were more cautious of her now. She tried to get things moving again by tossing the blade into her left hand and quickly jabbed into the heart of the frozen demon to her left the same way she had the first one. 

When the demons still wouldn’t make a move against her, she turned her back on them and started walking towards Sam again. The next demon came at her with a knife, but she was ready for it . . . she might’ve been ready for it, because Dean sort of thought he might’ve shouted, “Knife.” He couldn’t really do anything else to help her, and he hadn’t wanted to distract her, but he thought it was something she should know. Things were starting to get foggy, so he might’ve said it. He wasn’t sure. He thought it anyway. 

Beth quickly raised her blade with both hands, spun around, and brought it down over the demon’s right shoulder. It cut the whole arm off, and while the demon was preoccupied with that, she grabbed the demon’s left hand that was holding the knife and rapidly brought her blade down through it’s forearm to disarm it. It reminded Dean of what she did to that aswang, and maybe she’d done it that way on purpose, because she flicked a glance his way after she finished the demon off by jamming her blade down into it’s chest when it landed on it’s knees in front of her. _Some way to let me know she’s not gonna let me die this time. Always knew she was ‘the one’ for a reason._ She turned to face the demon approaching her from the side. Her attention was on it, but instead of going for that one, she twirled her blade, so the point was behind her again and let a demon that’d teleported there run into when it lunged at her back. When she was like this, her reflexes were unreal.

There was something about this last demon that wasn’t trapped that made Beth give it all of her attention, because she hadn’t looked away from it since she faced it. She didn’t even look away from it when she quickly grabbed one of her guns in her left hand and pointed it towards the bedroom door seconds before one that must’ve been hiding in there came around the corner. She got a shot off, but not before it used its powers to throw her across the room. 

She landed on her side, but she’d shot it in the chest, so it wasn’t a problem anymore. _What is it with this demon?_ Even when Beth was getting to her feet, she kept her focus on her. She was Beth’s main target out of all the demons. Beth took a couple of confident steps towards her, and the demon decided that cutting the binding sigil on her arm and smoking out was the best tactic she could take. Beth let the demon think she was home free before she said the reverse exorcism to put her back in the body that started to fall to the ground, like it was a dead meat suit walking, and then Beth went up to the demon as it blinked at her in shock, before ending it with a quick jab to the chest. 

Beth let the body drop, and turned to look at the bloody trail Sam had left behind him while he’d belly crawled behind the desk. She calmly walked the other way around the desk and kicked what must’ve been the knife Sam used to kill Ryan and Julie out of his hand, because Dean heard something metallic ping off the wall before Beth bent down and grabbed Sam by the collar, so she could drag him back into the middle of the room. 

When she got him there, she stood on Sam’s left forearm and slammed her angel blade down through his left hand to pin him there, before she crouched down over him, searched his pockets and took Lucifer’s archangel blade from him. Then she called out, “Team one!” in her authoritative voice before Tom and his men came in with their weapons trained on Sam, as each made their way to a different angel ward. As soon as the wards were scratched out, Cas popped up in front of Dean to help him down off the wall. Rachel laughed in the background and said Beth was an idiot, but her laughing stopped a few seconds later. 

Beth kept her eyes on Sam, but said to Rachel, “Rachel . . . that hex bag I tossed your way isn’t going to let you leave this room. You’re going to stay there until these men burn this place to the ground, and then you can be the one to tell Raphael that you failed, and his quest to become God is over. Tell him he won’t be getting the angel tablet either,” before she said to Sam, “Do you know what the opposite of the 7 deadly sins are, Sam?” 

Sam glared up at her and didn’t answer, so she she twisted her angel blade in his hand. Sam sputtered out a pain filled, “The 7 virtues,” so Beth released her angel blade and said, “Almost. There are 4 main cardinal virtues . . . wisdom, courage, moderation, and justice . . . Consider this next part justice.” Then she grabbed Sam by the hair to turn his head towards the two dead bodies on the floor next to him. “Look at what you did to them, Sam. He is a man you would’ve saved in another life, and she is a little girl . . . you murdered them, just like you murdered billions of people on this planet.” Then she turned his head to look at Dean. 

Dean was watching what was going on over Cas’s shoulder, while he clung to him, using his left arm, and Cas was trying to hold all of Dean’s weight to keep it off of his right wrist, while he took the third nail out. “Look at what you did to your brother. I want you to remember all of this, Sam, because you’re going to live with everything you’ve done.” 

She dropped Sam’s head, pulled her angel blade from his hand, and held it along with Lucifer’s blade down by her left side, as she stood back, so Sam could see her pull out a tablet from the inside of her jacket. After she was sure Sam knew what it was, she threw it onto the ground, and it smashed into about 12 different pieces before she called out, “Team two!” 

Gabriel, some blonde angel Dean didn’t know, and Cas, after he helped Dean sit against the wall, all appeared next to Beth, and she said, “You might be thinking that this is the word of God, so if you have Kevin put these pieces back together again, this tablet would become whole, like nothing happened, and you would be right . . . but when it’s broken, each of these pieces is just a chunk of clay. Gabriel, Cas, and Balthazar are taking these pieces and scattering them in active volcanoes all over the world. All we need to destroy is one, Sam. You need all 10 to become God.” 

The three angels grabbed all the pieces of the tablet and disappeared before Sam could do anything about it other than bellow, ‘NO!’ in the middle of the room. 

Beth towered over Sam without sympathy and delivered her verdict. “I told you once before that there are consequences for negative actions, even if they don’t happen right away, and you chose not to listen. Maybe I should’ve made you earn that entire wallet of money back, but I doubt it would’ve made as big of an impression as this. Your injuries will remain until you earn the right to have them healed one-by-one.” 

Gabriel and Cas came back at about the same time. Beth handed Gabriel Lucifer’s blade, but Dean missed what she said to him, because he couldn’t see through Cas who was healing him. “You’re staying with me, right, Cas?” Dean had an idea where this was going, and he couldn’t face it alone. 

“That was always the plan, Dean. I’ll go try to find the prophet, but I’ll be back to help you with the rest when I’m done.” Dean nodded, and Cas and the third angel, who just got back, left together. 

Beth left Gabriel to watch Sam, while she came over to Dean and crouched down in front of him. Every time he came out of some kind of Hell she’d been there to make it better . . . He couldn’t do this without her. She leaned into the side of his face to whisper, “Thank you for trusting me to keep the tablet for this long even with what was at stake . . . It was the God tablet . . . kind of the most important one to make sure nobody got their hands on.” She paused because she picked up on something he was feeling. “The man and the girl . . . they were Ryan and Julie?” 

She called it right, and hearing it out loud from somebody else meant it was real. All that had really happened, and he knew that, because he felt what it was doing to him, but he hadn’t let himself think about it or even look at them since they died. He tried to keep from tearing up while he glanced at them over Beth’s shoulder and nodded before he took a deep breath and wrapped his arms around her. 

She adjusted her position, so she could straddle him and return the embrace more fully. He clung on tighter and told her that Julie had thanked him just before. He didn’t know why Julie thanked him, and he’d never know why, because she was dead, and it was his fault, because he’d pulled her into this, and now that it was over, he couldn’t get over watching Ryan or Julie bleeding out in front of him, and he didn’t feel any better about any of the other things Sam had done either. 

Beth picked up on all of that even though all he’d said was that Julie had thanked him. He couldn’t block her from knowing what he was feeling the way she could with what she was thinking, and in times like this he felt exposed, but feeling exposed like that with her . . . She was the only one he’d ever want that with. She’d never use it against him. Leaning closer, Beth whispered, “I don’t know why she stayed, but –“ 

“She said she wouldn’t let Ryan out of her sight. She was keeping her word to me.” 

Beth held onto him a little tighter and said, “She might’ve stayed for that, but I’d be willing to bet that she put her kids on those trucks to get them out of here faster. Think about that . . . those kids mean everything to the teens we’ve found, and she believed in you so much that she was willing to put all of them on those trucks, because she knew you would save them and take them where you took Sarah. I think she was thanking you for helping her save her kids and for keeping your word on coming back for the rest . . . I –“ 

“What if she was thanking me for handing over what happened to Sam to you, and you kept him alive for me?” 

Beth sat back to look him the eye. “That girl did not thank you because she thought Sam was going to die. In her last seconds, she was thinking of those kids. What happened to her just now . . . that is 100% on Sam . . . You gave her hope, and he’s the one that took that away. Don’t belittle her last words to you, because you don’t think you deserve them. It’s not fair to her, and it’s not fair to you.” 

Julie had meant it. She’d used her last words to say that to him. That was such a huge thing. Dean felt responsible for her dying, but he didn’t want to take the value out of what she’d said to him by saying it was wasted on him. The first thing he was doing when he got back to the camp was looking for all of Julie’s kids to see if what Beth said was right, and he was going to give Ryan and Julie both hunters funerals before he left here. He’d have to work through it on his own along with everything else even though Beth was trying to help him in the few minutes they had left together. 

“And I may have said that I’d save him, but I didn’t say it was for you. Hidden under the demon blood, there’s some good in Sam. I couldn’t snuff that out . . . What kind of threat do you think he would’ve become after he died if I didn’t give him a chance to redeem himself? Humanity is barely hanging on by a thread. This is the best way to protect it.” Dean looked over her shoulder at Sam and nodded that he understood before she said, “I’ve got to follow through on this. I don’t know when I’ll be back . . . but I promise I will be.” She leaned her forehead against his before adding, “Say it, so I know you understand.” 

He took a deep breath. “You’re going, but you’re not leaving me.” 

He remembered her being thrown by that demon and placed his hand against her stomach in a way that nobody else could see. _What if what I did by coming in here solo instead of coming in with her killed it? I’m a terrible father._

Beth leaned forward, so she could kiss him before she pulled back about 10 seconds later and said, “Stop . . . You are and will be great at it . . . I’ll try to take better care of myself, because you won’t be there to make sure that I am. I’ll have Gabriel keep an eye on things. It’ll be okay . . . I have to go . . . I don’t want Sam to bleed out, and I’ll have to take care of him the old fashioned way without angelic healing,” before she stood and didn’t look back while she went to Gabriel, and she, Sam, and the archangel disappeared for who knew how long.


End file.
